Disclaimer: Garfield and all related characters are the property of Paws Inc. and Paramount Global/Nickelodeon at the time this story was written.

Chapter 3: Life at the Club

"Ugh. My head." Jon moans in pain, rubbing his head. Gazing at his surroundings, he realizes that he's been unconscious for quite some time, for the sun was setting over the ocean.

"Finally, you're awake." Garfield said, having been forced to wait for hours for his owner to wake up. "Here we are trying to find you a life, and all you can think about is sleeping."

"W-What happened?" Jon asks, standing up. "Where's that pretty girl?"

"Beats me." Garfield shrugs, not caring in the slightest. "C'mon, let's blow this joint. It's getting rather boring around here. Besides, there's no more food at the concession stand."

"Yeah, we better get going." Jon agrees. "There's still a life waiting for me out there, and I ain't gonna find it by just lying around here in the sun all day.

"Yep, that's my life." The cat points out. "Aside from eating and watching TV of course."

"Hmmmm." The cartoonist ponders to himself. "I think I know the perfect place that'll help me get a life."

Later that night, Jon and Garfield arrive at the Ticky, Tacky Dance Club, the perfect place for someone who's either looking for a good-lookin' girl to score, or to simply have a fun time.

"Here we are, Garfield. The Ticky, Tacky Dance Club." Jon said, parking the car. "You know, I hear a lot of hot chicks come here."

"Yeah, most likely to get drunk and embarrass themselves in public." Garfield rolls his eyes, for he can already tell that this is definitely not going to end well for either of them.

Entering the club, the cartoonist takes a seat at the table, his cat jumping on the seat next to him.

"Hey there, gorgeous." Jon greets a girl sitting next to him. "How's about you and me hit the dance floor?"

"S-Sure, handsome. I'd…*BURP*...love to!" The girl turns around and grabs his arms, revealing herself to be in an inebriated state.

"Uhh…On second thought, I'll just find someone else to dance with." Jon said, shoving the drunken woman away from him.

"Good call." Garfield applauds. "I certainly wouldn't want a woman like that in my life either."

"*SIGH* Why are all the cute girls so hard to get?" Jon asks his cat.

"Because there's more to women than just looks, Jon." Garfield explains. "Love is a commitment, and in order to have a successful marriage, both the man and the woman must have a commitment to treat each other right and be there for one another, regardless of their differences. You need to find a woman who'll accept you for who you are as a person and-"

"Hey, beautiful. Would you like to dance with me?" Jon asks another woman sitting near him.

"Sure, why not." The woman replies bluntly.

"YES! YES! WOOO HOOOOOOO!" The cartoonist shouts in joy, hopping out of his seat.

"You didn't listen to a thing I said, weren't you?" The cat rolls his eyes.

"Did you hear what she just said, Garfield!?" Jon asks excitingly. "She wants to dance with me!"

"It's a miracle." Garfield said sarcastically. "A miracle that ain't gonna last long." He said to the reader.

"Come, my dear." Jon lowers his voice to make himself sound more formal. "Let's cut up the floor."

"This is really not gonna end well." Garfield facepalms, shaking his head.

Loud music plays through the speakers as Jon and his new partner make their way to the dance floor. Upon hopping onto the LED lighted floor, the cartoonist proceeds to dance as if he were in a disco club.

"You likin this so far, my darling?" Jon asks in his deep "formal" voice.

"Where did ya learn moves like that!? Your mom!?" The woman asks, embarrassed to be seen with someone who dances like that.

"Why, yes. My parents taught me everything there is to know about disco." Jon explains. "Back then, they knew all the moves."

"I think I'm going blind!" The woman covers her eyes.

"Baby, you ain't seen nothin yet!" The cartoonist attempts to pull off a fancy move…

"OOF!"

…only to accidentally bump another dancer off the floor.

"Hey, jerk! Watch where you're going!" The man angrily shouts.

"Sorry!" Jon apologizes, backing away from him…

"HEY!"

…only to bump into another dancer, who trips over a wire and falls directly onto a table, falling straight onto a table where a chair tips over, causing a bunch of chairs to start tipping over like a row of dominos, with the last one causing a drink to spill right into a speaker wire, causing it to short-circuit and start a blaze.

"FIRE!"

The whole dance floor starts to panic as they all scramble to exit the building. Jon quickly grabs Garfield and hightails it out of the club. As soon as they enter the car, the cartoonist quickly backs out of the parking lot and slams his foot on the pedal, driving away from the scene as fast as he can.

"Well…that could've gone better." Jon said, still catching his breath.

"Gee, ya think!?" Garfield angrily shouts. "My fur almost got roasted!"

"So much for that cute girl…and getting a life." Jon laments to himself, letting out a depressed sigh as he ponders if things will ever change for him.