So sorry for the wait! I know, I know, you probably all want to thrash me into the ground, but let me say now that if you do that, the next chapter really won't get written. grin
Anyway, as I mentioned to my flawless beta, Morty M, the delay is due to many reasons, nearly all of which are boring. The BBC, for returning 'Doctor Who' to our screens (woohoo!), my teachers for their slave-driving evilness, Rowling, for bringing out HBP…
Which leads me on to something very important. This story is now officially AU. That means it is set in an Alternate Universe. I have no plans to use any of the devices from HBP, and hope to continue with my earlier plan, barring anything unfortunate happening. I am not entirely happy with the way Rowling dealt with Harry, and especially emotions in Book 6, but if you get me on that topic, we'll be here for weeks, as I could talk your ears off. If you actually want to do this, I heartily welcome you to my LiveJournal from my Profile Pageor even to my website (accessible from there).
Nothing Potter belongs to me, but if you could check out 'Fire and Water' if you're at all interested, I'd be appreciative!
Also, visit smokey2307, my great great friend. She's written/writing two stories currently, and she's not got anyone reading them! 'Running the Gauntlet' is for fans of Draco Malfoy (she's an obsessive HD shipper), and 'Dream of Mirrors', containing an original character (woooo) is very cool also! I'm not only telling you this because I betaed it, but well…
Enjoy this!
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Chapter 13 - Flying Without Wings.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Hermione asked as they left the office alone. Remus had remained to discuss something with the old headmaster, and had told them to go on up to the tower, giving Hermione a pointed glance that meant no detours.
"I don't know." Harry replied honestly. He shrugged. "Maybe I won't ever be."
"Yes you will." Hermione said, stopping and turning to him. Her eyes were soft and intelligent, and she held his gaze for a second, smiling slightly. "You are made to be whole and strong. No matter what happens to you, you always will be.
"That's not to say you have to carry the responsibility of the world on your shoulders, or to hide your feelings or to submit just because you know, but you're made of strong stuff Harry. And we are all here for you, whatever happens, and we will help you, if you like it or not." She turned away, frowning and letting out an explosive sigh. "I'm making a right mess out of this, aren't I?"
"No, you're not." Harry said with a small smile quirking his lips as he turned her gently to face him. "I know what you mean."
"Really?" she lifted her eyebrow disbelievingly as his grin widened.
"Well, I wasn't really listening to the words as such. So I know what you meant." She swatted him gently as she laughed and he ducked playfully, then moving to rest his arm over her shoulder.
"Thank you." He whispered.
"Anytime." She whispered in reply. "Come on, Ron will be wondering where I got to."
"Probably just assumes you'd gone to the library." Harry said casually, fighting back a grin. Hermione giggled as they walked back to the tower, smiling at the Fat Lady in her portrait as she let them through.
"Are you alright?" Ron's worried voice came to them as soon as they entered. Harry spared a thought about how often people had asked that from him recently, before nodding.
"Yeah, fine."
"Hermione?" Ron asked carefully, turning to the brunette, who shrugged. Harry frowned.
"What was wrong?"
"She just went all, well, weird and ran out of here like a bat out of hell." Harry turned seriously to Hermione, who was avoiding his eye. Ron glanced between the two of them, completely lost. Finally, the girl gave up under their joined gaze.
"I'm fine!" she threw her hands in the air. "It was just a little unexpected, that's all."
"You were sobbing your eyes out." Ron said pointedly. Harry looked back at his best friend, then at his girlfriend.
"Sobbing? Why?" he said eventually, suspicion creeping up on him. Hermione sent a scathing glance to Ron that clearly dripped with annoyance.
"It was the mind link. I felt everything you felt." Harry felt a lump in his throat.
"I'm so sorry…"
"No, you shouldn't be." Hermione said firmly, fixing his gaze. "It wasn't your fault, and you have every right to feel that. I know what you've been through; I saw it. And don't even think about blaming yourself, because I won't let you." Harry opened his mouth to speak, but she headed him off softly.
"And don't think about apologising or thanking me either." Harry smiled slightly, and closed his mouth, leaning forward to peck her on the lips instead.
"Am I allowed to do that?" he whispered.
"Always." She replied grinning. Then she turned to Ron. "I want a rematch."
"Now?" he asked, still slightly puzzled by the recent conversation. Harry hid a grin.
"Maybe not now." He said casually as a wicked gleam appeared in Hermione's eyes. She glared light-heartedly at him for a second as Ron started to pack up the chess set. "Allow me." He said quickly, waving his hand almost negligently at the scattered pieces, sweeping them back into the back and banishing it back to the dorms.
"You gotta teach me how you do that." Said Ron enviously, flopping down into a chair. Harry shrugged.
"I wouldn't know where to begin." He said simply, flopping down himself, Hermione sitting down pleasantly close to him. There was a subtle change in the emotion in the room as Harry sighed slightly, running his hand through the infamous Potter mop.
"So how did it go?" Hermione asked tentatively, placing a hand on his arm.
"Hell," he laughed shakily. "You really should talk to your Dad about redecorating the Ministry, Ron, Wizards have no taste whatsoever."
"I meant the reading." Said Hermione, snuggling up to him, resting her head on his arm.
"It wasn't too bad I guess," he said eventually, pleasantly surprised at how tactile his girlfriend was being. After his life at the Dursleys, he wasn't overly used to kind human contact, but after joining Hogwarts in first year; he had managed to suppress all of the usual reactions he gave, so as to keep everything under wraps. Even then, he had little contact with anyone, except of course for the infamous Weasley hugs, and he relished any small, friendly contact. Drawing comfort from it, he continued.
"There was this weird spell, it was like a tv recording, and he," he swallowed, "he spoke to us. It just, hammered it in I guess, that he's gone, and he's not coming back."
Hermione tightened her grip on his hand, lacing her fingers through his. Harry swallowed again against the lump in his throat that was trying to prevent him breathing properly.
"Yeah, he left Grimmauld to Remus, and the money is split between us. He, he said I could live there if I wanted, but I don't know anymore." He looked up, only to see Ron's sympathetic gaze, to which he responded with a wry, slightly teary smile.
"Talking of that," Hermione said, "have you chosen your new magical guardian yet?"
"Not telling." Harry said mysteriously, a grin sliding into place as Hermione glanced up at him and mock pouted.
"Awww, go on!" she said, her eyes shining. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours!"
"Oh yeah, Remus mentioned that." He said, remembering. "Who is your magical guardian anyway?" He was met, of course, by Hermione's unrepentant grin.
"Not telling!" she threw back at him, folding her arms childishly. Harry rolled his eyes, while Ron laughed.
"What about you Ron?" The redhead shrugged.
"Great Aunt Lizzie. I saw her once when I was about five. To pureblood families," he blushed uncomfortably, "I mean, to some families, a magical guardian isn't really necessary, as the family is going to bring them up anyway."
"Oh." Harry replied, thinking. "That makes sense. But how are magical guardians chosen then?"
"Ah, that's the cool bit." Ron said, grinning. "It's like wands – the person picks the guardian. I always used to think of it as the kid having some sort of signal that went out to people, to see which was the most appropriate. Of course, Muggles picked up the idea for godfathers and stuff, so they really mimic us."
"That's fascinating." Said Hermione, sitting up. "I wonder if there are any books in the library on it?" Harry and Ron shared a look, and grinned. Some things would never change.
"Probably. Come on, Hermione, tell us." Harry wheedled. Hermione stood firm.
"Nope, not 'til you do." Harry rolled his eyes.
"Looks like we'll both have to wait then." He said stubbornly, planting a quick kiss on her lips, and delighting that he could. "You guys fancy some lunch?" They both grinned back at him, Hermione rolling her eyes, and the trooped off to the Great Hall together.
"So, what are we going to do today?" It was a couple of days after the momentous events on the Astronomy Tower, and the three friends were lounging around in the common room as usual.
"Well," Ron said in reply to Harry's comment, "I don't know about you, but I could do with a fly. It'll be good to be able to fly higher than the tree line for once. Harry?"
"Sounds good." He said lightly, turning to his girlfriend. "Want to come?"
Hermione smiled.
"Why not? I can get some reading done." She waved a thin volume at them, entitled The Young Wizards Guide To Magical Guardians. Sometimes it amazed Harry just what you could find in Hogwarts library.
Ron rolled his eyes good naturedly, and the two boys went off to get their brooms while Hermione got her cloak, so that she could sit on the grass. As they walked out of the doors and across the sunny grounds, Harry felt his excitement grow. Quidditch and flying were one of his favourite things in the magical world – it gave him a sense of freedom, release from the pressure of being the Boy Who Lived. It openly defied the Dursleys, who believed that flying on brooms was downright satanic, and it was something he could do for himself.
So it was with a bounce in his step that he kicked off from the ground, and soared into the azure blue sky. However, just as he got a few feet above the ground, he felt a tingling run across his arms, and suddenly, without warning, a strong gust of wind curled around him, nearly knocking him off his broom. It blew away, and seemed to return, obviously focused on Harry.
"Harry!" Hermione yelled up from the ground, spotting his predicament as he struggled to keep hold of his broom. He faintly heard Ron kick off to help him, but he soared into the sky to escape the rogue wind. Suddenly, a strong gust knocked him clean backwards off of his broom, and into open sky. He was falling, a overwhelming and choking sense of déjà vu hitting him as he remembered tumbling from the Astronomy Tower, head over feet…
And then, suddenly, he wasn't. Suspended in mid air, some thirty feet above the ground, he hung, a playful breeze (so set apart from a few minutes ago) curling around his feet. Carefully, so as not to upset the strange circumstances, he looked down, to where Hermione stood, her face white from even this distance. Ron was heading for him, a blur of red hair and clothing, but neither of them had apparently caused it. So, as one does in these unusual situations, he did the only thing possible.
"Help!" he yelled, trying to ignore the fact that his feet were standing (for lack of a better word) on air. Nice empty, fresh, empty air.
"Harry!" Ron yelled, his face white, slowing to a halt close to him. "What the hell's going on?"
"I don't know!" Harry yelled back almost indignantly.
"Well we didn't do anything." The redhead replied. "It must've been you. Maybe it's something to do with your new powers." Oh great. So now he'd gained the ability to walk on air?
"Can you move?" he continued, and Harry glared at him.
"Funnily enough, I haven't tried that yet!"
"OK, OK," Ron said hastily, throwing up his arms in a peaceful gesture. "Calm Harry."
"HOW ON EARTH AM I SUPPOSED TO BE CALM!" Harry exploded, his emerald eyes flashing. Ron rocked on his broom as a gust of wind tried to knock him backwards, and he shrunk himself to the wood, clutching tightly.
"Harry!" he yelled over the wind. "You need to calm down, the wind is caused by you! You're going to knock me off my broom in a minute, and not all of us are Elementals!" Harry's eyes caught Ron's as he realised what he was saying. Blanching, Harry gritted his teeth and willed himself to calm down.
"Ron," he said as serenely as he could manage, before the other boy could speak. "Go into the castle and fetch Dumbledore. He might know what's going on." Ron nodded.
"OK, I'll be right back." Harry nodded, and quickly closed his eyes before his feet gained the sudden interest in reaching the ground again.
He wasn't sure how long he stood there, stiff as a board with his eyes tight shut and a slight breeze hovering below him. It was oddly serene, once you got over the flying-without-a-broom panic. However, as he heard the flapping of clothes approaching and a strange sense that someone was coming closer, he carefully opened his eyes, and grinned tightly in relief as he saw Dumbledore, Ron and Remus approaching on brooms.
It was quite an odd sight, the always-calm part of his mind reflected, to see the two adults on brooms. Dumbledore in particular looked hilarious; purple robes fluttering and hair and beard tugged by the wind. He had seen Remus on a broom before, but after playingQuidditch with his team-mates, he was used to people his own age flying. Eternally grateful to that part of his mind for distracting his attention, he waited until they were in calling distance.
"I think I need a little help here!" he yelled, and saw Remus' lips quirk into a small smile.
"Not to worry Harry, we'll soon have you down." The elderly headmaster called, sitting upright on his broom, and, oddly, looking as comfortable as he did when seated in his office chair.
"Now Harry," Dumbledore said, his voice carrying well, "I need you to try to stay as still as possible. We're just going to try to come and get you, and take you down with us."
"OK." Harry agreed, watching as Remus slowly crept towards him. However, before he even got within touching distance, Harry felt something within him rise, and with it, the wind, blowing back the elderly werewolf.
"Remus!" he yelled, throwing out a hand as the man lost his balance. The wind obeyed his unconscious will, and threw itself underneath him, catching him in pretty much the same way that Harry was now stood. Remus sat up in thin air, looked across at Harry, and grinned.
"Albus, I don't think that's quite going to work." He said, almost causing the older wizard to chuckle.
"Very well, then we'll have to try the hard way." Harry swallowed against his now dry mouth.
"Hard way, sir?"
"We'll have to try to persuade your magic to let you down. It seems quite fond of you, you know."
"I'm not sure fond is the word." Harry muttered, causing the other three to grin. "So what do I do?"
"Right," Albus said, focusing his attention solely on Harry in a way that both embarrassed and comforted him. "The wind is being caused by your innate Elemental magic, as opposed to every day wizard magic. At the moment, it is the only thing keeping yourself and Remus from falling to the ground." Harry swallowed again. "Essentially, what you need to do is tell that magic to let you down, and carefully. I know we haven't had many lessons yet, but try to reach inside yourself and call up that wind, but this time, you need to direct it."
Harry nodded thoughtfully, and closed his eyes. It was easier to focus on everything with them shut, and tentatively, he called out in his mind.
Air. A warm breeze brushed against his face in recognition, feeling almost… playful? He thought deeper, and realised that far from being an object, there was almost a conscious thought. Concentrating, he listened, and was surprised when suddenly, thoughts became comprehensible.
Fun, play? Nasty stick-things, stay away. People hurt mine, stay away. Mine, happy mine.
It was a jumble, but it seemed to make sense. It seemed almost childlike, and surprisingly protective of what it thought of as its – which in this case appeared to be Harry. Mine.
These people not hurt. He tried, letting the sentiment hang in front of him.
People hurt! It replied, almost indignantly.
Not these people. He stated firmly, feeling like a parent talking to an errant toddler.
These people good?
Yes. Harry felt something change, and realised that, although he hadn't felt it before, a barrier that had been between him and his friends was gone. OK, next step.
Let down.
Let down? The conscious responded, puzzled.
Yes, let down. Gently. On earth. Somehow, he knew he had to talk to it gently, carefully, in broken sentences. It made sense, and, if it worked, he didn't question it.
Not want to let down. Fun? It replied petulantly.
Fun later. Let down please?
Fun later. Let down. It responded, and then tagged on the end as an afterthought. Gently.
Opening his eyes, he felt the air and magic around him shift, and, as if in a dream, he fell. Not the tumbling, head over heels, frantic falling as before, but, Harry imagined, as if he was falling through something viscous. And, he realised with a smile, definitely gently.
On the ground again a few minutes later, with Hermione's arms around his neck, he opened his mind again, and replied one thought.
Thank you.
Fun later, mine. It said in farewell.
"Well done Harry!" Albus said cordially, touching down behind him next to Ron. Remus had taken the same express route as Harry, and was smiling openly, helping the elderly wizard with his broom.
"It wasn't really me sir." He replied honestly. "It was, well, I'm not sure what it was."
"What do you mean?" Remus said, coming over as Hermione relinquished Harrys' neck. Harry blushed.
"You're all gonna think I'm nuts or something." He said, after hugging the werewolf warmly.
"Harry, I think I speak for all of us if I say you're the most sane person I've ever met." Ron said seriously, collecting Harry's Firebolt.
"Well, it wasn't me, really. I just persuaded it to let you down."
"Persuaded what?" Remus and Albus were both confused, but the older man felt something tug at the back of his mind.
"The air." Harry said as nonchalantly as he could.
"You persuaded the air to let you down?" Ron said in disbelief. "But it's air, it doesn't think!"
"No, it does." Harry argued. "It's like a child, you just need to talk to it cautiously." He quickly described the short mental conversation from earlier to the other four. "So I said we could have fun later, as long as it put me down."
"Nasty stick things?" Ron repeated, and Harry smiled.
"Yeah, I don't think it likes brooms. And it doesn't like people hurting me."
Albus chuckled.
"Well, I must say, even an old wizard like me can learn something new every day. It never once occurred to me that an element could be a sentient being. And one with complex emotions!"
"It's rather simple," Harry said, trying to explain himself. "Like a child."
"I don't mind," Hermione said, linking her arm with his, "as long as it gives you back, and it looks after you as it seems to want to." Harry smiled.
"I think I could get used to nature working in my favour." He joked, moving over and embracing Remus again, just to reassure himself that he was all right.
"Imagine – next time we fight Death Eaters, you won't have to cast any spells at all! Just set the wind on them!" Ron said, laughing. Harry and Hermione quickly joined in, despite the latter trying to glower disapprovingly for his levity, and failing.
Some time later that evening, Harry walked into the castle, lagging behind his best friends. He hadn't been tempted to mount his broom again for the rest of the day, and he and Hermione had spent it watching Ron race around, and eventually, when he got bored, they just sat and talked. But as he left the open air, he smiled.
Good night.
Bye, mine. The element responded, throwing itself around his head, ruffling his hair in an obviously protective gesture.
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Review Responsessmokey2307 – I know you won't entirely enjoy this much, matey, but we do have more angsty Harry planned…! Wazzup, dude!
Draco'sLovergirleva – Spectacular? Wow! Thank you so much! Here's another chapter!
Dion– More here, soz for the delay. And you reviewed every chapter! I admire your persistence!
Kirabear – I really hope you haven't forgotten this…? I know, I'm really bad when updating huge stories like this is going to be, but it's here now. Hope you have the klennex ready and by the pc, there will be more angst ahead!
Epiphanic66 –I think I can say without restraint or even doubt that you are obviously my best fan! To read it on two websites, and to list so many words without a thesaurus…! Amazing, fantastic, magnificent, splendid, superb, overwhelming… not so good as you, but I don't have a thesaurus out either! Hope you liked this chapter as much!
Harmony8390 – Thank you very much for reviewing, at least this chapter wasn't as 'gloomy'! I'm now on 121 reviews! When I reach 150, I'm having a party, I swear. Wow, I can't believe how popular this is!
Teoblaise – Thanks! Hope you liked this!
Hmmm… 6 reviews for the last chapter. Let's see if we can beat that this time! I promise a quicker update if you do! crosses heart
Oh, and opinions on the air-conscious would be appreciated, as it's kinda random… I like it, but do you?
FireOpal