Ok, I decided to already post this chapter, cause I´ve got 3 more already ready and Im always curious what you are thinking about it. So again, I´m looking forward to your reviews!
to Kylie1403: Rational needs some time. And with Luke it sometimes needs a lot of time! (season 5 ep 13-16! He nearly killed me, I was sooo sad!)
to localizy: I dont understand your review:( Do you want me to make Luke go away!
to ProFfeSseR: Wow, you´re always reviewing and always a real comment! thank you! I was really ashamed! (if you got my review you know what I´m talking about!)
to Lorelai Gilmore46: You just started to read it! wellcome!
to ultimategilmoregirl: Poor girl! Did at least someone hand you a tissue?
To the rest : thank you! I´m always really happy when I check my mails and have a lot of reviews!
Chapter 21: silence
Two hours later, after nursing William, putting him down in his crib and taking a shower Lorelai walked down the stairs and found Rory in the living-room.
"Where is he?" she asked her daughter
"I don´t know. He just walked away" Rory stated sadly.
"I need to find him." Lorelai just said and walked out of the house.
"Mom, you need a jacket, it´s freezing outside!" Rory yelled, but Lorelai was gone.
At first she walked over to the diner, then to the Dragonfly and finally found him on the bridge by the small lake. He sat there staring into nowhere, deep in thoughts.
She walked over to him and sat beside him. He looked at her for a second, then looked away quickly.
They sat there in silence for some minutes and Lorelai started to shiver, because it was so cold. Luke slipped out of his jacket and handed it to her. She took it and lay it over her shoulders, taking one deep breath, because she was surrounded by his scent.
"I will have these babies" she told him after some more minutes.
He looked at her again, then looked away.
"Will missed you" he said.
Suddenly she couldn´t take this situation any longer.
"Why did you do that? Why did you take my baby away from me without telling me where you are and when you´re coming back! I was worried sick. I thought you might never come back!" she screamed while she attacked him with both her hands. She hit him on the arms and his chest. At first he was surprised, but then he caught her hands and held them tightly. Tears were on her face and she sniffed after she had calmed down a bit and he let go of her hands.
"I´m sorry" he said then and this time he really looked at her. She could see that he looked as horrible as she did.
"You should go home. It´s cold!" he told her after some more minutes.
She stood up, but then everything started to spin around and she placed a hand on Lukes shoulder to steady herself.
It hit him like an electric shock and he stood up quickly and steadied her.
"You´re okay?" he asked after she let go of him and he stepped back
"No" she stated simply.
"Are you able to walk?" he asked. But of course he knew this was not what she was talking about.
"Yes" she said and walked away, but stopped after some steps.
"It´s Christmas and it´s cold. Come home!" she said, but didn´t turn around to face him.
"I don´t think that..." he started, but she interrupted him.
"I´m tired and exhausted. Please" she said silently. She needed him to be there, to be home, no matter how unsure everything was and how hurt they both were. She began to walk again and heard his steps behind her.
When they arrived at home, Lorelai still a few steps ahead of Luke they both saw Richards car in the driveway. The Christmas dinner, Lorelai had totally forgotten about it. But at the moment she didn´t care.
They entered the house and heard her parents in the living-room, chatting with Rory. They both just said "Hello" and Emily and Richard stared at them.
The radiant happiness which normally surrounded the couple was completely gone, the argument must have been a lot worse than either of them had imagined. Emily noticed that Lorelai was thinner, with red eyes and a swollen face. The twinkle she always had in her eyes was gone and she looked sad. When she looked at Luke, she noticed he looked just as horrible.
"I´m gonna take a shower" Luke said and walked upstairs. Lorelai walked over to her mother and took William out of her arms. Still in Lukes jacket she sat down on the couch and cradled her baby against her chest, then lay her forehead against his little one and closed her eyes, without saying another word.
Emily and Richard exchanged a concerned look, but then just talked to Rory again. They knew Lorelai wouldn´t tell them what had happened. Not till the problem would be solved.
Luke had some trouble holding back the tears when he walked into their bedroom. Lorelai had obviously destroyed the whole room in anger. Their lamps were gone, his clothes everywhere on the floor, the pictures broken. Even their wedding- picture lay on the floor, the frame shattered in thousand pieces. Some of Williams baby pictures lay on the bed and Fred lay on Luke´s side of the bed. She really had though he might not be coming back. When that dawned to him, he felt hurt again. He had needed some time to think, to think about their life, their marriage. What their marriage was worth if she thought about an abortion, without even telling him that she was pregnant. What was she thinking? That he would leave her because she was pregnant, because it was not the exact time they had planed it. That he would be angry or that he wouldn´t want those babies because he was afraid what the town or her parents might say? She had really thought about it and when he remembered the words of her doctor it somehow seemed like a done deal.
And then he had asked himself if she had wanted more children at all. Having a baby had been his idea and she had agreed. They had got William. But another kid was a topic she had brought up.
When she had told him that it would be twins, he had remembered the night of the fire at the Inn when she had told him about her dream. In her dream she was having his twins and they were married. And when she had found out she was pregnant with William she had told him again about that dream and had babbled about the beautiful night-gown and how happy she had been in this dream. The next thing he knew was that she told him she didn´t want these kids and was thinking about an abortion. He had felt a sharp pain and then felt nothing anymore. She had shred his heart in pieces in one sentence. Then he had got so angry that he needed to leave or otherwise he couldn´t guarantee for anything anymore.
And now here he was in the bathroom, drying his hair and fighting his tears back.
This Christmas was supposed to be special, with William and Lorelais parents in the house. It was suppose to be happy and cheerful. They had bought tons of presents for Rory and William and Luke had got an amulet for her with Wills picture engraved on the inside and the dates of their marriage and his birth. On the back of it it had the engraving "Can´t live without you! Love Luke"
He walked out of the bathroom and thought about if he lay it underneath the Christmas-tree or not, and then decided against it. He placed it on her pillow and walked downstairs into the kitchen to fix something to eat and to avoid the stares of her parents and Rory.
Lorelai sat on her couch William still in her arms. She was staring at him and taking in his baby-smell, while he played with her fingers. He took her thumb in his mouth and chewed on it. She stroked his cheek with her other thumb and he smiled. He looks exactly like Luke´ she thought. She just concentrated on the baby and didn´t hear or saw what happened around her. When Emily tapped her lightly on the shoulder she snapped out of her daze.
"Lorelai dinner is ready" Emily told her.
"I´m not hungry. I´m staying here with Will" she said and then put her focus back on her son.
Emil walked in the dining-room and looked at Luke. He was staring at his plate.
"She´s not hungry." she simply said and sat down. Luke thought about it for some seconds, then grabbed Lorelais and his plates.
"Excuse me, but she needs to eat" he said and left the room.
He put the plate down in front of her and joined her on the couch. He took William and sat him, leaning against the couch, between them and handed him his rattle.
She looked at William, who smiled at his father and at her while playing with his rattle and then at Luke, who just grabbed the fork and handed it to her.
She took it and began to eat. They sat in silence and Luke felt a little relieved when he saw that she was eating, then stared back at his own plate.
They both didn´t realise that Rory opened the dining-room door a moment and looked at them. They just needed to fix this, there was no other way. If they separated, her mother would never be the same again.
TBC Review please!