Suggestions for the rest of the story will be GREATLY appreciated, as I have absolutely no clue where I'm going with this.

Disclaimer: I AM J.K. ROWLING! FEAR ME!

-.- fine.

Disclaimer from Chapter 1 still applies.

Without further ado

Here is chapter two

I hope you all review

Because then I'll love you

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Ginny, Draco, and Lassie ran frantically around the dungeons, searching for some way to find the lazy author. After about half an hour, maybe it was only five minutes, but nobody keeps track of these things as they are highly irrelevant to the plot and do not deserve their own sentence. After about either five minutes of half an hour of looking around in an attempt to stretch out the plot, Draco, Ginny, and Lassie gave up their search for the lazy author. Then suddenly, Draco had an idea.

"Hey, guess what, I have an idea!" said Draco. Ginny rolled her eyes.

"We know, Ferret Boy!" She said, exasperated, "The author just wrote Draco had an idea. We don't really need to be told again."

"Shut up," Draco replied, then began to explain his idea, which didn't really need to be written as it is already proven in the dialogue that is to follow.

"You see, we do something that makes no sense whatsoever to our characters' personalities, and then the reader will show up. Then the author will show up to yell at and/or throw things at the reader. Then we will capture the lazy author and force her to stop writing this story, or take us out of it, or at least keep us in character," Draco explained. Ginny and Lassie nodded their approval.

"But how are we supposed to capture the lazy author?" Lassie asked. Draco and Lassie looked at Ginny, as it seemed reasonable for her to say something now, as Lassie and Draco had already spoken recently. But Ginny was looking very fixedly at a spot on the wall. The spot was not abnormal or special in any way, but that didn't matter because Ginny was having a

Flashback:

Ginny was sitting on her bed, writing in her diary. She was six, and was anxiously awaiting the next morning. This was the first time she had lost a tooth after her mother had told her the story of the Tooth Fairy. Ginny had set a trap for the Tooth Fairy, that consisted of a broken broomstick, some dental floss, and a toaster oven she had taken from her father's study. Well, use your imagination. Unfortunately, after this, Ginny fell asleep and forgot to put her trap under her pillow, so she just ended up with five knuts in the morning, but no tooth. She formulated a new theory that old teeth turn into coins in the night, and was determined to find a dead shark and end her family's poverty. Maybe a saber tooth tiger would work, too.

Ginny was jarred from her flashback by the sound of Lassie and Draco breaking out into song, as while Ginny was caught up in her thoughts of the mechanics of her highly customized trap for the Tooth Fairy to notice the other two discuss something drastically out of character that they could do to annoy the reader. Ginny now stared, open-mouthed, as Draco and Lassie, who still had the voice of Eddie Murphy, and was unfortunately suffering from a severe case of hiccups, belted out:

WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE!

Unfortunately for the two out-of-character characters, but fortunately for the reader who would probably explode if they had been forced to undergo any more of the horrid singing, the author did not know any more lyrics to the song. Fortunately, the reader was annoyed enough with just that one line of music. Unfortunately, there was no fireplace in that hallway. Fortunately, it turns out annoying readers can appear in wall sconces as well. Unfortunately, the author grew tried of writing things that ended with tunately, which, sadly, had nothing to do with tuna.

The lazy author was forced to, YET AGAIN, pop down to the castle and yell and/or throw things at the reader. But when she arrived, she only saw Ginny smirking in front of her, and could vaguely see Lassie and Draco off to her sides. The author glared at Ginny, but Ginny's evil grin widened as the author dropped into a toaster oven, which had been either magically expanded to fit the author, the more comical option in which no sizes are changed and the lazy author is squished inside of a toaster oven.

The lazy author began to mutter about meddling kids and their stupid dog, but was silenced as a bunch of broken pieces of wood, tied together with dental floss, closed over the top of the toaster oven. The author peered out of the cracks in the wooden cage door and saw Draco walk up to her.

"Miss Lazy Author," Draco stated, "Weaselette and I refuse to be forced to become friends and fall in love. It is totally abnormal for our characters, and I suggest that you remove us from this story immediately."

The lazy author would have replied, were it not for her face being pressed against the side of a toaster oven and the heavy magical purple typewriter crushing into her stomach. But then, the author realized something. Typing furiously, the lazy author wrote the following sentence:

The toaster oven disappeared, the author was set free, and Remus Lupin broke up with Tonks.

Smiling at her work, the lazy author set down the typewriter and went about searching the walls for the wall sconce the reader had chosen to inhabit. Spotting one that was spewing out green smoke, the author quickly dumped a bucket of water-

"Where did you get a bucket of water?" The reader asked.

The lazy author sighed and went back to her typewriter.

The lazy author found a large bucket of water next to her typewriter.

The author gingerly picked it up and threw it all over the wall sconce, and went back to the more pressing matters at hand.

"No, I will not remove you from this story, as you are the main characters, and without you two, and the dog, I will be forced to come up with an actual interesting plot. And that just cannot happen, because then I will lose the title of Lazy I have worked so little to achieve!" The author cried.

Ginny opened her mouth to reply, when suddenly two people, a cat, and several floating boxes of pizza breezed into the hallway. The pizzas clattered to the floor, the cat flopped down on top of it, and the two people fell on the ground in front of Draco. Draco looked down, incredibly confused, Lassie backed further against the wall, and Ginny raised an eyebrow at the author.

Suddenly, one of the people looked up. Ginny gasped, seeing a pale face that strongly resembled an albino snake with glowing red eyes and sideburns.

"V-v-VOLDEMORT!" Lassie breathed from across the hallway.

The lazy author was about to write how Voldemort's reappearance was relevant to the plot, when she suddenly had the most brilliant idea in the history of the world…

Lassie walked on to the stage in front of the screaming crowd, looking very spiffy in baggy jeans and lots of gold jewelry.

"Whazzup, dogs?" the collie called out to the crowed, who cheered very loud instead of actually answering his question. Draco and Ginny sauntered on to the stage behind Lassie, as the collie went on about how great the audience was. Suddenly, the song started:

He's V-V-Voldemort!

He wears M-Moldy shorts!

When V-V-Voldie walks,

He looks like Goldilocks

We all know Voldie rocks,

And he has moldy socks

Yeah

Lassie, Ginny, and Draco finished their song and walked off of the stage, waving to the crowd.

The scene around the lazy author unfroze and she went back to being scared and astonished.

"Draco," said Voldemort, clasping his hands together and looking up at Draco in an EVIL attempt at a puppy-dog look, "Will you please join the Death Eaters?"

"Pretty, pretty please?" added Lucius, who was kneeling on the floor next to The Dark Lord- here Voldemort turned back into a glowing eye- Voldemort- and the returned to normal.

"With cherries on top?" Voldemort asked.

But all heads snapped away from Draco and Voldemort as a very strange sound came from over by the pizza boxes.

"I'm late, I'm late," cried Voldemort's cat, as it abruptly turned into a rabbit in front of everyone and scurried through a hole in the wall. Lassie hastily tore after it, with Draco, Ginny, Voldemort, Lucius, and the lazy author following close after.

Through the hole the six of them went, following the sound of the rabbit's cries of "I'm late, I'm late." They ran for what seemed like hours, until they fell through another hole and on to the floor of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. In the time it took for everyone to figure out where they were and to actually climb up off of the floor, the rabbit and Lassie had already left the room.

Voldemort scratched his head after he was finally able to stand up, and turned to look at the hole they had fallen through, which was, in actuality, only about a foot away from the first hole in the wall. But it seemed more dramatic to have them running a very long way at the time.

After Lucius finally got the lazy author's magical purple typewriter off of his head, he stood up and tried to leave the room, but the sound of loud sobs made him stop. He turned around, to see Voldemort bawling his eyes out and hitting a spot on the wall.

"What's wrong, my Lord?" asked Lucius, "Voldemort," he added quickly, as he saw his master was about to turn back into a giant glowing eye.

"The hole disappeared!" Voldemort wailed, "My poor little pizzas! How will I get back through to defend them?"

"Um," said Ginny, "The door's right there." Ginny pointed to said door, as Voldemort and Lucius tore through it, grabbed their pizzas, and vanished.

The lazy author had finally gotten up off of the floor, and was sitting on a desk with her magical purple typewriter. Ginny and Draco were staring at the door, mulling over the last five or so minutes, in which the most evil man in the world had appeared with pizzas, then followed his cat which had turned into a rabbit into a hole, and out the other side, and then started crying about said pizzas, then found said pizzas, and then left. They were snapped out of their thoughts by a loud sound coming from across the room.

"DAMNIT!" The lazy author screamed, "Voldemort, Lucius, and Lassie were the only ones who could have possibly salvaged the story, and now they're gone! Which means I'd actually have to write a plot! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO ME!"

The author curled up on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and rolling around, bawling her eyes out. It sounded faintly like when you drop a refrigerator on a piano, play the flute with your elbows, and play the guitar with your toes, except with slightly less melody. She was having a severe emotional breakdown. Her three best characters had left the story, and now, all she had left written was

Thursday, the Sixteenth

Suddenly, the author jumped up off the floor and began to dance around the room. She had new inspiration; she had something else to write about, and she was going to introduce a new guest star.

So, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for:

ARAGORN!

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My rap song kicks ass.

Sorry that this chapter was slightly less nonsense. I promise, if I get some ideas for what can happen later in this story, the nonsense will fall like rain! ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY RANDOMNESS!

I got reviews! I'm so happy!

Chipsie the insane tabby cat- I try.

ellieo- Thanks!

claudiastar- I am more Lupinerific than you, so ha ha. And thanks.

shawn-small58- Thanks!

A hint about the next chapter:

There will be puffins.