A/N - just uploading again to try to keep this from disappearing as it wishes... hope it stays put this time!
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A/N - Warning: smut. (need I say more?)

Chapter 32

Harry sat in the Gryffindor Common Room, staring at the fire, curled up in his favorite chair. Everyone else had already gone up to bed, and he was relieved to finally be alone again. Everyone had been looking at him like some wild creature that might lash out at them at any moment. Some had been brave enough to ask him questions, but there were few of those that he was yet willing to answer. After he had refused to answer enough of the questions everyone had pretty much left him alone, but they still stared a lot and muttered in small groups while looking over at him frequently.

He had only seen Hermione briefly so far. That haunted look in her eyes had cut him to the core. It had been made even more awkward by the fact that there were a good two dozen people watching avidly, wondering what they would say to eachother. There was just no place private to go and talk in the tower, and of course they weren't allowed to leave it. She had later slipped him a little scrap of parchment, asking him to meet her in the Common room at midnight to talk.

So now here he was, waiting. His roommates hadn't said much about him not coming up to the room with them. He got the feeling they weren't exactly comfortable around him anymore, and probably would have no problem with him never returning to the room. At least Neville had been giving him little encouraging smiles when he caught his eye that afternoon. It was nice to know at least one of them didn't think he was some kind of psychotic monster.

He looked over as he heard a door softly clicking shut. He waited a bit apprehensively as Hermione made her way down the staircase from the girl's side in her dressing gown. She looked like such a delicate angel as she approached tentatively, her white dressing gown seeming to glow softly in the firelight.

He got up to meet her, looking into her eyes to try to see what she was feeling. She was looking at him searchingly, confusion apparent in her soft brown eyes. She sat on the couch. Seeing that she expected him to follow suit, he reluctantly sat on the couch as well, but left some space between them so as not to make her more apprehensive.

For a long while they just sat there in silence, neither knowing quite where to start. Harry dropped his eyes, trying to decide how to ask her what he may have done to her.

"Harry..." She said softly.

He looked up, a bit relieved to have her go first.

"Did... did you ever really... care for me?" She asked tentatively, watching his eyes closely.

He sighed sadly. "I've always cared for you Hermione." How could she ever doubt that?

She bit her lip, then pressed on. "I don't mean just as a friend... I mean... as a boyfriend..."

He looked at her, surprised.

Her eyes widened. "We've been going out for weeks... don't... don't you remember that at all?"

His jaw dropped slightly, but he couldn't for the life of him think of a good answer for that. He had absolutely no recollection of going steady with Hermione. The demon couldn't possibly have twisted his memories that much could it? Good lord! How long could it have been in him? What else didn't he remember???

His silence was enough answer for her. Her face dropped, tears trickling down her cheeks.

"Hermione..." He said, his heart tearing from the pain in her eyes. "I've had feelings for you for years... I just... never acted on them... I was too afraid it would mess up our friendship... I don't know what I'd do if we weren't friends anymore... but just because I can't remember going out with you doesn't mean that I didn't want to go out with you..."

"But it means it was that thing all along... kissing me and touching me... and..." She trailed off and covered her face with her hands, letting out a sob.

Harry shifted closer. He didn't want to impose his obviously painful presence on her any more than he had to... but he couldn't stand seeing her so sad... He reached out and gently brushed her shoulder. "Just because I can't remember doesn't mean it wasn't me... It could have just made me forget... I know there are other things it made me forget... I'm not even sure what is real anymore... so much is blurry and... half the time it feels like I've gone round the twist..." He said despondently. He sighed. "I can't tell you how sorry I am... for anything and everything I might have... done to you... I... I don't know if there is any way I can ever make up for it... but I'm going to try if you'll let me..." He said, putting his hand on hers gently.

She slipped her hand out from under his, biting her lip. She let out a sigh. "I don't think we can be together... I don't think I could stand the thought that you were with me out of guilt..."

He sighed, "Hermione... how could you think that? If you had any idea how much I've wanted you... it has nothing to do with... what happened..." She continued staring down intently at her hands, choosing not to comment. He could think of no way to express his feelings in words... he just felt all flustered... he expressed it the only way he could think to. He leaned forward slowly, pausing when he was mere inches away and studying her eyes intently for any sign she didn't want to... then he kissed her gently.

He suddenly felt like his head was floating away... to him, this was the first time he'd ever kissed her... his first real kiss... and it was amazing...

The kiss lingered and deepened. Harry felt a rush as he felt her fingers slip through his hair, and gently took her into his arms.

As the kiss ended, she sighed, moving her head over to his shoulder and holding him to her. "You've never kissed me like that before..." She said softly.

"I've never kissed anyone like that before..." He replied softly, pressing his cheek against her soft hair. His feelings for her were so overwhelming that they forced all other thought out of his mind. He had often thought before that he was in love with her... at the moment, he felt that more strongly than ever before. He kept his eyes closed, just holding her and never wanting to let go.

"It was the way I always thought it would be..." She said softly, nuzzling into his shoulder.

He smiled against her. "It was even better than I imagined..." he whispered softly.

She let out a little whimpering sound and he suddenly found her lips on his again. This time it was deeper and more urgent. After several minutes of intense snogging, she finally pulled back some, looking at him longingly. "Harry..." She said in a soft, timid voice, "Could... could you make love to me?"

He blinked in surprise. He definitely hadn't been expecting that... of course he hadn't imagined she'd ever want him anywhere near her again...

"Are... you sure?" He asked, reluctant despite his undeniable desire.

She blushed and nodded. "I... I want to know what it should feel like... what you feel like..."

He was feeling light headed at the prospect, but had the presence of mind to nod in response. "Ok..." He said, his voice strained as his throat tightened in anticipation.

She bit her lip, shifting up timidly and slipping her hands under her gown. He felt dizzy as he watched her pull off her knickers and drop them on the floor. Then she laid back against the arm of the couch, biting her lip and watching him in anticipation. He shifted forward, slowly running his hand up her leg. He wished she would have taken off the gown... he so wanted to see her laying before him in her full glory... but he didn't ask... he didn't want to take the little bit of security the garment seemed to give her... and he certainly didn't want to completely disrobe himself!

She shivered and let out a soft moan as he slipped his hand between her legs, gently rubbing her.

"Please Harry..." She whispered.

He took a deep breath, then shifted up, freeing himself from the confines of his by now overly tight pants. He paused then, still a bit reluctant. Then he looked into her eyes and saw the longing... and he knew he couldn't deny her. He brushed her gown up out of the way as she shifted her legs up invitingly.

He shifted down on top of her, feeling a bit awkward as he tried to get positioned. As soon as he slipped into place, he let out a deep groan, pressing himself in to the hilt. He couldn't remember ever experiencing anything so completely amazing as being engulfed by her incredible heat. He shifted down more, kissing her passionately as he started thrusting into her. She wrapped herself around him, kissing him back with equal ardor.

He held back, not wanting to hurt her, but soon she was thrusting up against him and urging him on. He did as she bid him without question. After just a few minutes, he knew he couldn't hold off too much longer... it just felt too incredible... Her movements slowed and stilled as he sped up, feeling himself get close.

"Harry... Harry stop!"

Even as she said it, he tensed, his peak raging through him as he spent himself inside her. He shifted back a bit so he could look at her, surprised by her sudden change of mood, his head still spinning wildly.

She slapped him hard, right across the face. He looked at her, stunned, a brilliant red handprint across his cheek. "I told you to stop!" She said, looking angry, tears starting to streak down her cheeks.

"But... but..." Harry stammered, too shocked to even think.

"Get off me!" She said, hitting her fists against his shoulders.

He immediately scrambled off her, falling back on the couch. He just stared in confusion and pain as she ran up to her room. Dazedly, he covered himself back up, his heart aching far worse than his cheek. He got up and made his way over to the corner of the room. He slipped past one of the overstuffed chairs, curling up in the little dark corner behind it.

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A/N - Sorry it was a really short chapter, but I'm tired... it'll be 2am before I can get to bed as it is, and my alarm goes off at 5:30am. And this has been average for me of late. So... it's either take this much or wait another day for more.

Here's some notes... hope they don't go longer than the chapter did.... ;P

For all of you Harry haters: Sorry about the HP/HG smut. At least he got smacked. For all you Harry lovers, sorry about the smack, but at least he got laid first ;P

Soul/ginny thing: Ok, Ginny is the reincarnation of the first Ginevra... being told about who she was before and being back with Darien/Draco eventually caused the memory to resurface... in her dream she was remembering her first death... that Shadow Demon killed her... slashed her soul half out of her body and the body fell in the pond and drown before her soul could return to it... the family found the dead body the next morning with no apparent cause of death other than drowning because Shadow Demons don't leave evidence (as they proved with Harry).

Draco/bastard thing - you'll just have to wait and find out. :)

And about the Nundu and such... sorry... I keep forgetting not everybody has the standard texts... here are some excerpts from Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander. Printed By Arthur A. Levine Books and Obscurus Books, 18a Diagon Alley, London. (Copyright 2001 by J.K. Rowling) (It's a bit short and doesn't have a whole lot of creatures, but it only costs 14 sickles and 3 knuts ($3.99 US) (originally, may be out of print now), so it's pretty good for the price, and you can usually find it on muggle Ebay. Quidditch Through The Ages can also be had cheap there!) I will try to remember to put such important footnotes on any future chapters that contain references to beasts often unknown to muggles :)

Nundu - M.O.M. Classification: XXXXX (known wizard killer, impossible to domesticate) This East African beast is arguably the most dangerous in the world. A gigantic leopard that moves silently despite its size and whose breath causes disease virulent enough to eliminate entire villages, it has never yet been subdued by fewer than a hundred skilled wizards working together.

Re'em blood gives the drinker immense strength, though the difficulty in procuring it means that supplies are negligible and rarely for sale on the open market.

Chimaera - (para.) Rare greek monster with a lion's head, goat's body & dragon's tail. Vicious & bloodthirsty. Near impossible to kill. Their eggs (as I said) are Class A non-tradable goods.

Erumpent - (para.) Large gray African beast often mistaken for a rhinoceros. Has a thick hide that repels most charms and curses & a large horn that can pierce about anything and injects an exploding fluid into whatever it pierces. Erumpent horns, tails & exploding fluid are all used in potions, though they are Class B Tradable Materials (Dangerous and subject to strict control).