"What kind of show is this?," Sammy couldn't help but ask, staring at the television screen in front of them. He and the twins were sitting on the couch and watching some kind of mystery show revolving around a crime solving duck. Before, Sammy was busy taking stock of Stan's inventory and calculating revenues, but in the middle of that, Dipper and Mabel suddenly barged into the gift shop and begged him to watch Duck-tective with them. Sammy had never heard of the show before, nor was he a big fan of mystery dramas to begin with, but he decided that one break couldn't hurt, so he agreed. However, watching Duck-tective with the twins only seemed to give him more questions than answers. "What kind of show is this?," Mabel gasped dramatically, momentarily pausing in her sweater knitting. "What kind of show is this? It's only a show about the best duck in the entire world, Duck-tective himself!" "Eh, I wouldn't go that far," said Dipper, eating from a bowl of popcorn on his lap. Unlike Mabel, he wasn't as wrapped up in the Duck-tective show as she was. The three of them kept watching as the screen showed the duck and a police constable standing next to and closely observing a dead body.
"I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir," said the constable. "My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident." The duck, who wore a detective hat on its head, faced the constable and began quacking, while subtitles popped up at the bottom of the screen. "Accident, constable? Or is it… Murder?!" "What?!," the constable gasped. Then, the show was abruptly cut off by some commercials. "Duck-tective will return after these messages." "That duck is a genius!," said Mabel, dropping her sweater with a gasp. "Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground," said Dipper. "Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?," asked Mabel, squinting at Dipper with her hands on her hips. "Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation," said Dipper. "For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating…" He sniffed the air and frowned in disgust. "...an entire tube of toothpaste?!" "Mabel, you ate toothpaste?!," cried Sammy, shocked by what he heard. "When did that happen?!" "A few hours ago," Mabel explained. "Soos caught me doing it and made me puke it all out. I couldn't help it. It was so sparkly…" Sammy sighed, immensely relieved that Soos made her throw it up. "Just… don't do something like that ever again. Ever."
"Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what I found!," said Soos, suddenly running into the living room with a broom in his hand. "Buried treasure!," cried Dipper. "Buried– Hey, I was gonna say that!," Mabel laughed, shoving him playfully. "What did you find, Soos?," asked Sammy. "I'll show you dudes. Come on!," said Soos, waving them over. Putting their Duck-tective marathon to a pause, they followed Soos to a door in the wall of the hallway. "So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!," said Soos. "A door? Behind the wallpaper?," asked Sammy. "But why would the Mystery Shack even have that kind of door?" "Beats me, dude," said Soos, opening the door. The group entered through the door and found themselves in a dark room filled with a dozen wax figures of famous celebrities and historical figures. "Whoa!," said Dipper, taking out a flashlight and shining it around the dark room. "It's a secret wax museum!" Sammy looked at each of the wax sculptures closely. "Wow, these are really well made," he said, impressed by how realistic they looked. "They almost look like real people frozen in time." "Yeah! They're so life-like," said Mabel, poking a wax figure of Sherlock Holmes. "Except for that one," said Dipper, shining his flashlight at one of the wax figures. "Hold on," said Sammy, squinting at the sculpture. "That looks just like–"
"Hello!," said the wax figure. Everyone else screamed in alarm. The wax sculpture only chuckled. "It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!" However, that only made the others scream louder. "Run, guys! Run!," yelled Sammy, pushing the twins and Soos out of the room before slamming the door shut, leaving Stan in complete darkness. "...well, that just happened," Stan muttered. After getting out of the room and reassuring the others that he was not a wax sculpture that came to life, he led them back into the room and began showing them around.
"Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum!," Stan said in a bold fashion, as though he was showing the room to a group of tourists. "It was one of our most popular attractions… before I forgot all about it. I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes…" As he showed them each of the wax sculptures, he stopped in front of one of them and stared at it in confusion. "...some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?," he asked. "That's Larry King," Sammy answered. "He's a very famous radio and television host." "Eh, never heard of that guy in my life, so I'll just keep calling him goblin man," said Stan. "Is anyone else getting the creeps here?," asked Dipper, shuddering. Stan finally moved on to the last wax sculpture. "And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over–" However, there was almost nothing left of Wax Abraham Lincoln, nothing but a pile of melted wax under the sunlight shining through an open window. "Oh! Oh no!," cried Stan, distraught over the death of one of his sculptures. "Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!" He bent down and got a little bit of the melted wax on his finger. "How do you fix a wax figure?," he sighed.
"Cheer up, Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?," said Mabel. "Egh," Stan grunted, not making any effort to smile. "Beep, bop, boop!," said Mabel, poking Stan in the face. "Ow," said Stan, feeling Mabel's finger poke into his eye. "Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!," said Mabel. Stan looked at his niece hopefully. "You really think you can make one of these puppies?," he asked. "Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master," said Mabel. "Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" She held up her arm, only to reveal a glue gun stuck to the sleeve of her sweater. "Eugh, eugh!," she grunted, trying to shake it off, but to no avail. "I like your gumption, kid!," said Stan. "I don't know what that word means, but thank you!," said Mabel. Stan got up and looked at the wax figures fondly. "Ya know, it's been a while since I've had the wax museum as one of my attractions," he said. "I think I could make this work again. Yeah… Alright Mabel, how about this? If you make me a new wax sculpture, and I mean a really good one, one that'll knock the socks off of those rubes outside, then not only will I reopen the wax museum, but your sculpture gets to be the main attraction! How does that sound, sweetheart?" "Woohoo! Yes, yes, yes!," Mabel cheered, jumping up and down. "Don't worry Grunkle Stan, I'm gonna make you the best wax sculpture you've ever seen in your life! I already have so many ideas flowing into my head! Oh my gosh, I need to draw them down! Where's my sketch pad?!" She ran out of the room for her sketch pad, cheering all the way. "Sammy, is it just me, or do I feel like something bad's about to happen?," asked Dipper, staring at the wax sculptures with suspicion and distrust. "Don't worry, Dipper," Sammy said. "We're just reopening the wax museum. What could possibly happen?"
Later in the day, Dipper was walking around while drinking from a can of soda. "Dipper!," yelled Mabel, running towards him with her sketch pad. Dipper was so startled that he spat out the soda he was drinking. "What do you think of my wax figure idea?," asked Mabel, showing Dipper what she drew in her sketch pad so far. One of her drawings was a rather disturbing sketch of a fairy wearing a pink dress, a tiara, and holding a wand in her hand. She also had the haunches of a horse and a horse's head sticking out of her torso. "She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!," Mabel said proudly. "M… maybe you should carve something from real life," said Dipper, slightly recoiling from the drawing. "Like a waffle, with big arms!," said Mabel, flipping through her sketch pad and showing Dipper another drawing, this one being a floating, anthropomorphic waffle with muscular human arms. "Y-okay…," sighed Dipper. "Or, you know, something else. Like- like someone in your family." Suddenly, Stan walked into the room, and for some reason, he only had his blue boxers on. "Kids, have you seen my pants?," asked Stan, putting his foot on a briefcase and holding his hand over his eyes. At the same time, a beam of sunlight shone down on him, casting him in a warm, yellow glow. Mabel stared at the sight in front of her with awe, and at that moment, she had an idea for her wax sculpture. "Oh, muse. You work in mysterious ways," she whispered, looking up in wonder. "Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?," Stan asked Dipper, who could only shrug in confusion.
After Stan went looking for his pants, Mabel immediately got to work on her sculpture, while Dipper stood back and watched her work the whole time. At some point, even Soos and Sammy decided to join them and watch Mabel finish her wax sculpture. A few hours later, it was almost finished. All it needed was a finishing touch. "I think… it needs more glitter," said Mabel. "Agreed," said Soos, handing Mabel a bucket of glitter. Mabel took the bucket and tossed its contents all over the sculpture, then took a step back to admire her handiwork. "It's beautiful," she gasped, squishing her cheeks. "Yeah, it looks amazing," said Sammy. "It looks exactly like him." "Yeah, you've really outdone yourself, Mabel," said Dipper. "Heh, wait 'til Stan comes in and sees this," said Soos. Then, Stan walked into the room, now wearing his pants.
"I found my pants but now I'm missing my–" Then, Stan noticed Mabel's wax sculpture. "Ahhh!," he screamed, falling backwards in shock. Sammy was taken aback by how extreme Stan's reaction was. He understood if Stan was only startled by the wax replica of himself, but falling over and screaming seemed far too over-the-top for even that. "Mister Pines?," he asked. "Are you okay?" Stan didn't answer him at first, since he was too busy staring at the sculpture with wide eyes. The con man's eyes were locked onto Wax Stan's face with such intensity that Sammy wondered if there was something more going on than what appeared on the surface. "Uh… yeah, yeah, I'm fine," said Stan, getting back up, though it didn't sound like he really meant it. Unlike Sammy, however, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos didn't really notice Stan's strange attitude. "What do you think?," asked Mabel, waiting for her grunkle's approval. Stan was silent for a moment, and it was obvious to Sammy that he was trying to gather his thoughts. "I think… the Wax Museum's back in business!," the con man exclaimed. "Yes!," cheered Mabel, pumping her arms up. "Way to go, Mabel!," Dipper congratulated her, giving her a friendly bump on the shoulder. "You know, dudes, this deserves a celebration," said Soos. "I got a whole case of Pitt Cola stored upstairs. Let's go up there and have ourselves a party!" Cheering, the twins followed Soos upstairs, leaving Stan, Sammy, and Wax Stan alone in the living room.
"Mister Pines?," asked Sammy. "Do you mind explaining what happened just now?" "Not sure what you're talking about, kid," said Stan, closely observing Mabel's sculpture. It was clear that he was trying to dodge the subject, considering that he hadn't made any eye contact with Sammy since entering the room. "You know what I'm talking about, Mister Pines," said Sammy. "I've never seen you so terrified before. When you saw this wax sculpture, it looked like you just saw a ghost or something." "I was just startled, that's all," Stan denied. "You're reading too much into this, kid." But Sammy was not convinced in the slightest. "Mister Pines, what I saw just now wasn't someone who was startled," he said in a soft but firm voice. "You were genuinely scared." "So what? You think I got a fear of wax people now?," Stan asked, rolling his eyes.
"No, but I noticed how you were staring at that sculpture," said Sammy. "It's like seeing your own face… triggered some bad memory inside of you…" "Sheesh, since when did you become so observant?," Stan asked, starting to get irritated. "Look kid, just let this go already. There's nothing going on. Now… get back to taking stock of my inventory or whatever." Sammy wanted to argue, wanted to tell him that he didn't have to put on a brave face, that he knew what it felt like to be haunted by memories that he preferred to stay buried, but seeing that Stan was finished with this conversation, he sighed and nodded. "Okay, we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," he said. "But Mister Pines… Stan… I just want you to know that if there is anything, and I mean anything you want to get off your chest, you can always come to me, and I'll do whatever I can to help you." "You're not my therapist, kid," said Stan. "Now come on, skedaddle." Sammy walked out of the room, leaving Stan alone, with only his wax replica to keep him company. Stan sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That was way too close," he murmured to himself. "He's almost as nosy as Dipper. I can't let him or anyone find out what I'm doing. Not until it's ready." He sighed again and looked at Wax Stan, who smiled at him with a large, frozen grin. "But in the meantime, you're gonna make me some big bucks," he said, rubbing his hands together with glee. Tomorrow was going to be a good day.
The next morning, a huge crowd had gathered outside of the Mystery Shack. Stan had gone around town and delivered tons of flyers the day before, and now, he was ready to unveil his newest attraction. Dipper, Wendy, and Sammy sat together in the stand, staring at the huge crowd that had arrived. "I can't believe this many people showed up," said Dipper. "I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something," said Wendy. "He bribed me," Dipper said with a smile, holding up a dollar that Stan gave him. Wendy did the exact same thing, causing both of them to laugh. Then, Dipper noticed that Sammy was being unusually quiet. He looked over and saw Sammy resting his face on his hand, staring off into space. "Hey Sammy, are you okay?," Dipper asked. "Huh?," said Sammy, shaken out of his thoughts. "Yeah, what's going on with you, man?," asked Wendy. "You've been brooding like that for the whole day." "I'm not brooding, guys," sighed Sammy. "I'm just worried about Stan." "What? Why?," asked Dipper, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "More people came here today than probably ever before. Grunkle Stan's gonna be a much richer man by the end of the day. What's there to be worried about?"
Before Sammy could answer, Stan walked onstage and cleared his throat in front of the microphone to get everyone's attention. "You all know me, folks! Town darling, 'Mr. Mystery.' Please, ladies, control yourselves!" Not a single person in the crowd said a word, but Stan still went on confidently. "As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold… me!" He removed the white tarp, revealing Wax Stan to the public for the first time. In an effort to make the reveal more memorable, Soos started pressing a single key on a toy keyboard that he had with him. "Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!," was what came out of it. "And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!," said Stan, stepping aside to let Mabel take the stage. "It's Mabel," she said, walking up to the microphone. "Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!" "Ugh! Ewwww!," the audience groaned in disgust. "Yeah," Mabel chuckled. "I will now take questions! You there!" She pointed at an old man, the same one who attacked them with a giant robot not too long ago.
"Old Man McGucket, local kook," said McGucket, standing up. "Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?" Mabel was understandably confused by that question and had no idea how to answer it. "Um… Yes! Next question!," she said, pointing at the local news reporter, Toby Determined. Self-proclaimed, of course. "Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper," he said, holding a "microphone" in his hand. "Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?" "Your microphone's a turkey baster, Tony," Stan pointed out. "It certainly is–," sighed Toby, looking down sadly. "Next question," Stan groaned, pointing at a slightly dark skinned woman with brown hair and a single freckle on her cheek. "Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter," she said, sending Toby a disdainful look. She also held up one of the flyers that Stan made. "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?" The other audience members also began grumbling for their free pizza, pizza that Stan did not have with him. "That was a typo. Good night, everyone!," he said, throwing down a smoke bomb and running away. The crowd started leaving in anger, and Manly Dan even went as far as to punch a wooden pole in half with his bare fists. "In your face!," he yelled.
"I think that went well," Mabel said obliviously, leaning on the table that Dipper, Wendy, and Sammy were sitting at. "That's… not how I would say it. Like, at all," said Dipper. "Did Stan really promise them free pizza?," asked Sammy. "He sure did," Wendy chuckled. "And I should know, I helped him make those flyers. Man, it's been a while since I've seen my dad so angry. He loves pizza…" After that, everyone went back into the Mystery Shack and got back to work. Eventually, it was nighttime, and Soos and Wendy had already left. Stan was sitting on the sofa with Wax Stan, Sammy, and the twins standing beside him. The con man was eagerly counting the stack of cash that he made from his newest attraction. "Hot pumpkin pie!," he exclaimed. "Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person, this guy!" He pointed to Wax Stan with a grin on his face. "Uh, Mister Pines? Aren't you forgetting someone?," Sammy asked, smiling. At the same time, Mabel jokingly punched Stan, causing him to chuckle. "Ooh! Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin," he laughed, ruffling her hair. "Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!" The twins went upstairs to their rooms, while Stan shook his head in amusement. "Kids," he sighed. "Congratulations, Mister Pines," said Sammy. "Today was a pretty good day for you, huh?" "Heh, it sure was," said Stan, tucking the large stack of cash away for later. "Well, I'm gonna turn in early too," said Sammy. "See you in the morning." However, halfway up the stairs, Stan suddenly called out to him. "Yes, Mister Pines?," asked Sammy, looking over his shoulder at him. Stan had a guilty expression on his face.
"Listen, Sammy… I'm sorry if I was being a little harsh with you yesterday," he said. "I know you were just trying to help. You were worried about me, and I appreciate you looking out for me. Really, I do." Sammy smiled, glad that the issue between them had been resolved. "It's no problem at all, Mister Pines," he said. Stan smiled back, but only for a short second. Then, he was back to his usual grumpy self. "Alright, enough of that mushy talk. It's getting pretty late, so you'd better turn in early with the kids. We've got a big day tomorrow." Sammy nodded and walked up the rest of the stairs, then went into the attic, where Dipper and Mabel were brushing their teeth in the small bathroom next door. Sammy laid down on his bed and decided to read a little before going to sleep, so he took a book out from underneath his mattress. However, he barely even opened to the first page when Stan suddenly shrieked from downstairs.
"No… No… Noooooo!," screamed Stan's voice. Sammy immediately put his book down and ran down the stairs with Dipper and Mabel right behind him. When they got to the living room, Stan was standing there, staring down at Wax Stan, who was lying on the floor for some reason. Not only that, Wax Stan's head was missing, and judging by the shocked look on Stan's face, he wasn't the one responsible for it. "Mister Pines, what is it?," Sammy asked with worry. "Wax Stan!," cried Stan. "He's been… m-murdered!" After that, Dipper and Mabel tried to console their grunkle while Sammy called the police. When the two policemen, Officer Blubs and Deputy Durland, finally arrived, Stan explained to them what had happened.
"I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!" "My expert handcrafting… besmirched. Besmiiiirrrched!," Mabel wailed, while Dipper patted her on the back to comfort her. "Who would do something like this?," he asked. "What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?," asked Durland. "Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts… this case is unsolvable," said Blubs. "What?!," the others cried out in unison. "You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!," growled Stan. "I don't understand, though," said Sammy. "You two barely even did anything other than ask a few questions. How can you two be so sure that this case can't be solved?" "Yeah, I agree with Sammy," said Dipper. "There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want." "He's really good," said Mabel. "He figured out who was eating our tin cans!" "All signs pointed to the goat," Dipper said proudly. "Yeah, yeah! Let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head," said Stan. However, the two policemen didn't seem to take Dipper seriously at all, and even proceeded to mock him. "Oooh! Would you look at what we got here!," said Blubs. "City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!" "City boooy! City booooooy!," Durland hollered. "You are adorable!," Blubs said to Dipper in a condescending tone. "Adorable?," asked Dipper, shrinking back in embarrassment.
Sammy couldn't help but feel very aggravated on Dipper's behalf. "I don't see how you can call yourselves real cops if you think it's okay to mock a twelve year old boy like that," he said coldly. "Look, Glasses, we're professionals who know exactly what we're doing. So how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?," said Blubs, not taking Sammy that seriously either. Suddenly, a voice blared out of Blub's walkie talkie. "Attention, all units. Steve is going to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!" "It's a 23-16!," said Durland excitedly. "Let's move!," said Blubs. The two policemen ran out while laughing, leaving the others stupefied by what they just saw. "Well, there ya go. That's Gravity Fall's finest for you," said Stan, crossing his arms. "Those two shouldn't even be cops," said Sammy, glaring after them. "What makes them think it's okay to mock Dipper like that? I bet they wouldn't even recognize a case if it smacked them right in their faces." Hearing what Sammy said suddenly gave Dipper an idea. "That's it!," he cried. "We'll prove them wrong by solving the case on our own! Mabel, Sammy, we are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable." But then, Dipper released a soft little sneeze. "Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!," said Mabel. "Sorry, Dipper," said Sammy, trying to hide a smile, "but… that was kind of adorable." Dipper glared at both of them, his face turning red with embarrassment.
The next morning, Dipper was pacing around the living room while Sammy and Mabel watched him. "Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it," said Dipper. He stopped and looked at the bulletin board that he put up overnight, which had pictures of every possible suspect that could've played a role in the death of Wax Stan. "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling," said Dipper. "The murderer could have been anyone." "Yeah! Even us!," said Mabel. "I kind of doubt that, Mabel," Sammy chuckled. "Don't be so sure about that, Sammy," said Dipper. "In this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue." "Hey, look! A clue," said Mabel, peeking behind the couch. "Whoa, already? Great job, Mabel!," Sammy congratulated her, as he and Dipper both looked behind the couch. They saw footprints in the rug, and strangely enough, one of them had a hole in it. "Footprints in the shag carpet!," Dipper gasped. "That's weird. They've got a hole in them," said Mabel. "And they're leading to…" As their eyes followed the trail of footprints, they spotted an ax that was propped up behind the couch, causing them to gasp. "Is that…?," asked Dipper. "Cool, an ax!," said Mabel, reaching for it. But before she could do that, Sammy quickly took the ax and raised it just out of her reach. "Hey, what gives?," whined Mabel. "You're dreaming if you think I'll let either of you handle a sharp and deadly weapon," Sammy scolded her lightly. He stared at the ax in confusion. "What could an ax be doing behind the couch of all places?"
"Guys, don't you get it? That must be the murder weapon!," said Dipper. "We just found our first clue! Heh, those cops had no idea what they were talking about." "We don't know who it belongs to, though," said Sammy. "And I don't see any names on it either." "Don't worry, guys," said Mabel. "I know just the person to show this to." Surprisingly, that person turned out to be Soos of all people. After going into the gift shop and showing Soos the ax, they waited as the handyman observed it closely. "So, what do you think?," asked Dipper. "In my opinion, this is an ax," said Soos. "We can see that, Soos," said Sammy. "But who does it belong to?" "Beats me, dude," said Soos, shrugging his shoulders. "I've worked with a lot of tools before, but never an ax. Maybe you should show that to someone who actually knows about axes, like, I dunno, a lumberjack or something." "Wait a minute. The lumberjack!," gasped Mabel. "Of course!," the twins cried in unison. "He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza," said Dipper. "Furious enough, for murder!," cried Mabel. "Oh, you mean Manly Dan," said Soos. "Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown." "Then that's where we're going," said Mabel. "Hold on, you two," said Sammy, stopping them before they could leave. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea." "What do you mean?," asked Dipper. "We've got our first lead now. We can't just let it slip by our fingers." "But we don't know if this ax is even his," Sammy argued. "We can't just go around accusing anyone we think is suspicious. Look, we'll still go meet him, but we'll only ask him a few questions, and we'll do it nicely. The last thing we want when we get there is to make a scene." The twins looked at each other, then shrugged, seeing Sammy's reasoning.
"Dude, this is awesome. You three are like: The Mystery Trio!," said Soos, handing the ax back to Sammy. "Don't call us that," said Dipper, not liking that name at all. The three of them walked out of the shack, just in time to see Stan pulling a wooden coffin out of his car. "Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya?," he asked, visibly struggling under the coffin's weight. "I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy." "Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we've got a big break in the case!," said Dipper. "Break in the case!," Mabel yelled out. "We're heading into town right now to interrogate the murderer," Dipper explained. "We have an axe!," said Mabel. "Show him, Sammy!" "We found it behind the couch, right next to where Wax Stan was decapitated," Sammy explained, holding out the ax so Stan could see it. "We think Manly Dan might know more about it, so we're going to ask him some questions, not interrogate him. Right, Dipper?" "Oh, right. Just a few questions, got it," Dipper said absentmindedly.
"Hm, seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing…," said Stan. "Good thing I'm an uncle." He placed his foot on the coffin and raised his arms above him while yelling at the top of his lungs. "Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!" After that, the group went into town and eventually arrived at the Skull Fracture, the joint that Soos was talking about. They hid behind a dumpster in the alleyway. "This is the place," Dipper whispered. He peeked around the corner of the dumpster, then gasped and pulled his head back when the bouncer, a large and muscular man, looked in his direction. "Got the fake IDs?," asked Dipper. "Yep!," said Mabel, taking out three cards with photos of their faces on them. The photos had googly eyes glued onto them and mustaches drawn on them to make themselves seem older. "Guys, I don't know about this," Sammy said nervously. "This place is pretty intense. I mean, just look at that bouncer! Maybe it'd be better if I went in there alone, while you two stay outside and–"
"Sammy, come on," Dipper argued. "We're teenagers. We can handle it." "But… you and Mabel are only twelve," Sammy pointed out. "Uh… yeah, but we're almost thirteen. So we're… kind of teenagers?," said Dipper. "Come on, we can totally handle this!," said Mabel, siding with Dipper. "You're gonna be going in with us anyway, so you could still watch over us. Plus, I've already put my blood, sweat, and tears into making these fake IDs." Sammy took his own fake ID from Mabel's hand and looked at it worriedly. Then, he looked down at the twins, who were both giving him puppy eyes. "Alright, fine," he sighed. "But I want both of you to stay close to me at all times, okay? That means no wandering off, no talking to strangers, and most importantly of all, do not cause a scene. Got it?" The twins nodded in unison. "Okay," Sammy sighed. "Here goes nothing." The three of them walked out of the alleyway and towards the entrance to the Skull Fracture. The bouncer was looking at an ID card, then handed it back to the person who gave it to him. "Sorry, but we don't serve miners," said the bouncer. "Daaaannnnng'nab it!," the miner cursed, spitting on the road before stomping away. Then, Sammy and the twins went up to the bouncer. "We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan," said Mabel, as all three of them held out their fake IDs. "Dedledle-e," said Mabel, shaking her fake ID a little to make the googly eyes on her photo roll around. As the bouncer looked at the IDs, Sammy grew incredibly nervous, thinking there was no way it would work.
To his surprise, however, the bouncer didn't seem to notice that the IDs were fake. Either that, or he just didn't care. "Works for me," said the bouncer, opening the door to let them in. All three of them walked into the Skull Fracture, which was filled to the brim with large, muscular men that could probably snap them in half like toothpicks. They were all acting rowdy, yelling, laughing, and punching each other. Mabel had to step over a man laying on the floor, completely motionless. Mabel looked down at the unconscious man for a moment. "He's resting," she said obliviously. "Alright, let's just try to blend in, okay?," said Dipper. "Dipper's right," said Sammy, looking around nervously. "Remember, we just need to find Manly Dan, ask him a few questions, then leave this place as quickly as possible." "You got it, guys," said Mabel, before doing exactly the opposite by walking over to a large biker and sitting right next to him. "Mabel!," cried Sammy. "I just said not to–" "Hey there, fellow restaurant patron! Bap!," said Mabel, patting the patron on the arm. The biker didn't seem to appreciate being touched and growled at her. Sammy rushed over to her and held his arms over her protectively while also profusely apologizing to the biker. "I am so sorry about that, sir! Mabel's a curious kid. We'll be out of your hair soon."
"Aw, come on, Sammy!," said Mabel. "I didn't even get to tell him his fortune yet!" Upon hearing that, the biker suddenly stopped growling and stared at her in wonder. "You can tell me my fortunes, little girl?," he asked in a deep, menacing voice. "Sure can! With this!," said Mabel, showing the biker her cootie catcher. The biker gasped, staring at the cootie catcher like it was actually a priceless diamond. Sammy, seeing that Mabel wasn't in any real danger, decided to let her be for the moment. "I'm gonna go find Dipper," he said. "Have fun with your, uh… new friend." Leaving Mabel with the biker, he looked around the room and eventually found Dipper talking to Manly Dan, who was arm wrestling some kind of arcade machine. "Sammy, there you are! Perfect timing!," said Dipper, seeing Sammy approaching. "Show him the ax we found in the shack." Sammy took out the ax and showed it to Manly Dan, who took a quick glance at it while still focused on his arm wrestling game. "Listen, little girls!," he boomed. "Hey, actually we're–," said Dipper, before Manly Dan cut him off. "I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!" With a surge of strength, the lumberjack tore the mechanical arm of the game right off and began beating the machine with it. "Get 'im! Get 'im!," chanted Tyler Cutebiker, who had been watching him play the whole time.
"Left handed…," gasped Dipper. "Sammy, this is huge! We now know that the murderer was left handed!" "That's great!," said Sammy. "Come on, let's go get Mabel." The two of them went back to Mabel, who was counting with the cootie catcher while the biker looked on with excitement. "3, 4, 5, 6," Mabel counted, before gasping with delight. "Your wife is gonna be beautiful." "Yes!," cheered the biker, pumping his fist in the air. "Mabel, big break in the case!," said Dipper. As the group left, the biker held out his hand desperately. "But will she love me?!," he hollered after them. Fortunately, Sammy stayed behind just long enough to nod and give him a thumbs up. "Yes, your wife will love you!," he said, before running after the twins. The biker then turned around to face the other patrons. "Hey, everyone!," he yelled, getting their attention. "I'm gonna have a wife, and she's gonna be beautiful!" The other patrons cheered.
Meanwhile, Dipper was explaining to Mabel what he and Sammy found out from Manly Dan. "It's a left handed ax," said Dipper, before showing them a list of all the suspects that he wrote down. "These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we gotta do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer." "Oh man, we are on fire today! Pa-zow, Pa-zow, Pa-zow!," said Mabel. "You know, I wasn't so sure about this before, but this is actually kind of fun," said Sammy, smiling a little. "Think we'll be able to find our killer by the end of the day?" "I know we will!," Dipper said confidently. "Now let's find that murderer."
After a quick fist bump, the group set out to investigate every single suspect listed on Dipper's list. Fortunately, thanks to his morning jogs, Sammy already knew his way around town quite well, so it didn't take too long to track each of them down. The first person they went to find was Old Man McGucket, who still lived in the dump. Sammy waved at him, but when the crazy inventory waved back, he was using his right hand, meaning that he couldn't have been the one who killed Wax Stan. After helping him remove the baby alligator that was chewing on his hand and chatting with him for a while, the group left to find the rest of the suspects. One by one, the names were crossed off the list, until finally, there was only one name left.
"Guys, there's only one person left on this list," Dipper gasped. Sammy looked over the list, and his eyes grew wide with surprise when he saw who was left. "Toby Determined?," he asked, not really expecting that at all. "Of course, it all adds up!," gasped Mabel. "Mabel, do you even know how or why Toby Determined is the murderer?," asked Dipper, raising his eyebrow. "...not really," Mabel admitted. "I just wanted to sound smart." "I'd like to know the answer to that as well," said Sammy. "I mean, why Toby of all people? It doesn't make any sense." "Actually, it makes perfect sense!," said Dipper. "Don't worry, I'll explain everything to you guys later. But for now, let's call those two policemen back. We're gonna catch ourselves a murderer!"
Later, Sammy, the twins, and the two policemen arrived at the front entrance of Toby Determined's house, the Gravity Falls Gossiper. "You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it," Blubs warned. "The evidence is irrefutable," Dipper said confidently. "It's so irrefutable," said Mabel. "Trust me, sir, you won't be disappointed," said Sammy. "I'm gonna get to use my night stick!," Durland said excitedly, waving his baton in the air. "You ready? You ready, little fella?," Blubs asked Durland, as though Durland was an excited puppy. "Woo, woo!," they both cheered, poking each other with their batons. "I seriously hope not every policeman in this town are like them," Sammy muttered. "On 3!," said Dipper. "1, 2, …" "Yaaaahhhh!," yelled Durland, smashing the door open before Dipper could even finish. "Nobody move! This is a raid!," shouted Blubs. "Aaaahh!," cried Toby, falling down from a chair. "What is this? Some kind of raid?" "Derp!," yelled Durland, smashing a nearby lamp. "Are you serious?," Sammy groaned in frustration. "We're here to question Toby, not smash up his house!" "Yeah, what gives you the right to barge in here like this?," Toby cried. "What's even going on here, anyway?"
"Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan," said Dipper. "You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work," said Mabel, as she and Dipper high fived each other. "Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!," cried Toby, shaking his head. "Then allow me to explain," said Dipper. "You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline." To prove his point, Mabel held up a newspaper that showed Wax Stan's decapitated head, the very same one that Toby had started printing out right after the incident occurred. "But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed," said Dipper, pointing at one of Tony's shoes. Toby lifted up his foot, and sure enough, there was a single hole under one of his shoes, which perfectly matched the footprints in the rug of the shack. "Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news," said Mabel, crumpling up the newspaper. "Boy, your little knees must be sore… from jumping to conclusions," said Toby, doing a weird little dance. "Hachacha! I had nothing to do with that murder." "I knew it!," cried Dipper, before realizing what Toby just said. "Wait, what did you say? Nothing? You say nothing?" "Huh? What? Could you repeat?," asked Mabel, just as confused as Dipper. Even Sammy was surprised by what he heard.
"Then where were you the night of the break-in?," asked Blubs. "Ehh…," said Toby, not so eager to tell them, but eventually, he had no choice but to show them. He took out a tape and inserted it into a TV, which showed footage of Toby taking a cardboard cutout of a familiar news reporter out of his closet. "Finally, we can be alone, cardboard cutout of female news reporter Shandra Jimenez!," said Toby in the footage, before he started making out with the cardboard cutout. Everyone else groaned in disgust at what they saw, while Sammy quickly covered the twins' eyes with his hands, but the image had already been seared into their young brains. Blubs went to the TV and saw the timestamp hidden at the corner of the screen.
"Timestamp confirms it," said Blubs. "Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature." "Hooray!," Toby cheered, not caring that he had just been called a freak. "But, but it has to be him!," Dipper denied. "Check the ax for fingerprints!" "Fingerprints? Of course!," sighed Sammy, facepalming. "Why didn't I think of that before?" But when Blubs took the ax and began dusting for fingerprints, it only revealed more questions than answers. "No prints at all," said the cop. "No prints?," asked Dipper, bewildered. "Hey I got a headline for you: city kids waste everyone's time," said Durland, grinning from ear to ear. All of the adults laughed, while Dipper and Mabel hung their heads in shame. "Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you three," said Toby, even though the footage of him kissing the cardboard cutout was still playing behind him.
As the adults continued laughing at the kids' misfortune, Sammy could only stand there and stare at them in shock. But very quickly, his shock was replaced with anger, and he could no longer contain himself. "QUIT IT!," he yelled, causing everyone to quiet down instantly. The twins, the two policemen, and even Toby Determined stared at him in shock. None of them had expected him to raise his voice like that. Dipper and Mabel were especially surprised, since this was the first time that Sammy sounded genuinely angry. "I don't mean to sound rude, but what is wrong with you people?," Sammy asked angrily. "You're making fun of two kids! How could any of you think that's okay? I've been with these two for the entire day, and I can tell you that they've done way more today than you guys have ever done! And yet, you still have the gall to laugh at them? Grown men making fun of two twelve year olds. You should all be ashamed of yourselves!" Blubs, Durland, and Toby looked down in shame, their faces turning red.
"Come on, guys," sighed Sammy, gently leading the twins to the door. "Let's get back to the shack. We don't want to be late for Wax Stan's funeral." Once they were outside, Sammy looked back at the adults that were still inside. "You're officers of the law. Start acting like it," he said sternly. Then, he closed the door behind him, and the three of them started making their way back towards the shack. On the way there, Dipper looked up at him with a grateful smile. "Thanks for sticking up for us back there, Sammy," he said. "Yeah, that was awesome!," said Mabel. "And… also kinda scary. I've never seen you so mad before." "I usually try my best to avoid confrontations," said Sammy, feeling a little sheepish. "But when these grown men started laughing and making fun of you guys, well… I couldn't just stand there and do nothing. I'm sorry you had to see that." "Well, we really appreciate it," said Dipper. "Thanks," said Sammy, smiling. "Now come on. Let's get back to the shack before Stan starts wondering where we are."
Eventually, the three of them finally arrived back at the shack, where Stan and Soos had already set up an entire funeral for Wax Stan. Chairs had been set up for all of the other lifeless wax figures, and at the front of the room was a coffin where Wax Stan's beheaded body laid in. Sammy, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos were sitting at the front row while Stan was standing behind a podium. "Kids, Sammy, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming," he said in a tearful voice. "Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself." "They're wrong!," yelled Soos, bolting up from his seat. "Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven," said Stan, before he began losing his composure and tears started forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!," he cried, before running out of the room, sobbing. "Ohhhhh duuuude…," said Soos, running after his boss in concern. Through all of that, Sammy couldn't help but feel both concerned and confused by Stan's behavior. He could tell that Stan's tears were genuine, and he wondered how and why the con man grew so attached to a wax replica of himself. He felt that it must've had something to do with how Stan reacted to seeing his wax self for the first time yesterday. Something had to be going on here…
"Those cops were right about me," sighed Dipper, snapping Sammy out of his thoughts. "Dipper, you shouldn't let their words get to you like that," said Sammy. "It doesn't matter that you didn't solve the case. You tried your best, and that's more than enough." "But Sammy, the whole point of solving this case was to prove to them that I'm not just some kid who's way in over his head," Dipper argued. "If I can't do that, then…" He sighed heavily, not even bothering to finish his sentence. "Cheer up, Dipper!," said Mabel. "We've come so far, we can't give up now." Dipper sighed again and walked up to the coffin that had Wax Stan's headless body in it. "But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues…" Suddenly, Dipper noticed something strange about Wax Stan. "Huh, that's weird…," he murmured. "What is it, Dipper?," asked Sammy, walking up next to him. "Look. Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it…," said Dipper, pointing at the aforementioned shoe, and sure enough, there was a single hole at the bottom of it. "All the wax guys have that," said Mabel, joining them. "It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealies." As Dipper continued staring at the hole in Wax Stan's show, suddenly, it all clicked for him. "Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoes and no fingerprints?," he asked fearfully. "Guys! The murderers are–" "Standing right behind you?," said a posh, British voice from behind them. The group quickly spun around and gasped at what they saw.
Standing in the middle of the aisle and glaring at them was none other than one of the wax sculptures, Sherlock Holmes. Not only that, every other wax sculpture in the room started getting up from their chairs, blocking off their only exit. "Wax Sherlock Holmes!," gasped Dipper. "Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?" "Wha s'up Holmes?," said Wax Coolio. A female wax figure of Lizzie Borden walked forward and snatched the ax from Sammy's hands. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!," Mabel cried as she and Dipper hid behind Sammy's legs in fear. "Congratulations, my three amateur sleuths, you've unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you," said Wax Sherlock Holmes in a threatening tone, holding up his magnifying glass. "Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret." He reached into his cape and took out the severed head of Wax Stan. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically." The other wax figures started clapping, but a little too enthusiastically for Wax Sherlock's taste. "Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap." The wax figures clapped slower. "There we go, nice and condescending."
"But… how is this possible? You're made of wax!," Dipper exclaimed, staring at them in bewilderment. "Are you… magic?," asked Mabel. "Are we magic?," Wax Sherlock laughed. "She wants to know if we're magic! We're CURSED!" "Cursed! Cursed!," the other sculptures began chanting. "Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing," Wax Sherlock explained. "Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale." "A haunted garage sale, son!," said Wax Coolio. "And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born," Wax Sherlock continued. "By day, we would be the playthings of man." "But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night," said Wax Coolio. "It was a charmed life for us cursed beings… That is, until your uncle closed up shop," growled Wax Sherlock. "We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away… But we got the wrong guy." "So you were trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!," cried Dipper. "You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!," said Mabel. "Enough!," yelled Wax Sherlock. "Now that you know our secret, you must… die." "Wait, wait a minute!," cried Sammy, taking a step back while also trying to protect the twins with his body. "W-we can talk about this, right? We don't have to resort to murder… r-right?"
"We have waited in that stinking room for long enough!," growled Wax Sherlock. "The last thing we need is for you brats to get in the way between us… and revenge against Stanford Pines. Now enough talk! Time to die." Wax Sherlock, along with every other wax figure in the room, rolled their eyes into the back of their heads and walked towards them menacingly. The twins began panicking, having no idea what to do in this situation. But Sammy remained calm. "Guys, I need you to stay right here," he said in an eerily calm voice, not taking his eyes off the wax figures that were getting closer and closer. "Whatever happens, don't intervene."
The twins looked up at him with fear and confusion in their eyes. "W-what are you gonna do?," asked Dipper. "Yes, child, what are you going to do?," Wax Sherlock asked with a sneer. Then, Sammy did something that nobody in the room expected. He gently pushed Dipper and Mabel further back, then began cracking his knuckles, as though he was preparing for a fight. "I'm gonna kick your butts," he said in a calm and chilling voice. The wax figures stopped in their tracks for a moment, taken aback by Sammy's remark. Then, they burst out laughing. "Yo, is this guy for real, Holmes?," asked Wax Coolio. "It would appear so," chuckled Wax Sherlock. "Listen here, child. We outnumber you ten to one. Do you really think you can take us all on at once?" "No," Sammy admitted. "But that doesn't mean I can't try." Wax Sherlock narrowed his eyes at Sammy. "Then so be it," the fake detective growled. "Get him!" All of the wax figures charged him at once, knocking over chairs and tables in the process. To the twins' shock and horror, Sammy immediately ran to engage them without any hesitation. "Sammy!," they cried, deeply worried for their friend's safety. What happened next was like nothing they ever saw.
Wax Sherlock immediately tried to land a punch at Sammy's face, but Sammy ducked under his fist with ease, then grabbed his arm and flipped him over his back before slamming him onto the floor. Wax Genghis Khan ran forward and tried to grab Sammy by the arms, but the latter was able to slip out of the giant man's grip with ease, then tripped him over with a sweep of his leg before straddling him and wrenching his arm behind his back. Wax Robin Hood tried to sneak up on Sammy with a dagger in his hand, but Sammy immediately turned around and slapped the dagger out of his hand, then pulled him along and wrapped an arm around his neck from behind to put him in a chokehold. However, things quickly took a turn for the worse when Wax Genghis Khan managed to stand up and push Sammy off of him, causing Sammy to fall on his back. Sammy tried to get back up, but before he could do so, Wax John Wilkes Booth kicked him in the face while Wax William Shakespeare and Wax Edgar Allen Poe picked up a nearby chair together and slammed it on Sammy's back, causing him to flop down with a pained grunt. Then, Wax Genghis Khan wrestled Sammy to the floor, easily restraining him with his superior size and strength. This allowed Wax Sherlock to land some solid punches on Sammy's face out of revenge. It didn't take too long before Sammy found himself completely overwhelmed by the wax figures. As good of a fight he initially put up, there were just too many of them.
Meanwhile, the twins could only watch from the sidelines as their friend was currently being pummeled. "What do we do, what do we do?," cried Mabel. "I don't know!," said Dipper. "But we gotta do something, or they're gonna kill Sammy!" Not knowing what else to do, the twins began taking things from the table behind them and started chucking them at the wax figures. "You insolent brats!," growled Wax Sherlock. "Take care of these little nuisances, will you?" All of the wax figures except for Sherlock and Genghis began walking towards the twins menacingly. "No, don't hurt them!," cried Sammy, before crying out in pain when Wax Genghis Khan began twisting his shoulder. Dipper and Mabel continued throwing things at the incoming wax figures, but none of them seemed to work. That is, except for a coffee maker that Dipper blindly threw at Wax Thomas Edison. Once the hot brown liquid made contact with him, Wax Edison screamed in pain as his face began melting. The other wax figures stopped and backed away in fear. "That's it! We can melt them with hotty melty things!," said Mabel. Now knowing their weakness, both of them grabbed a pair of electric candlesticks from the table behind them and held them up like they were wielding swords, with confident smiles on their faces. "Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!," said Dipper. "Decorative candles!," said Mabel.
"You really think you can defeat us?," asked Wax Sherlock. "I-I don't really know. I'm not-I'm not really sure," Dipper stammered. "It's worth a shot, I guess," said Mabel. "So be it…," growled Wax Sherlock. "Attack!" The wax figures charged at the twins just like how they charged at Sammy, but unlike last time, their weakness was now known. Wax Lizzie Borden swung the ax at Mabel, but missed and decapitated Wax Robin Hood instead. Wax Shakespeare tried to sneak up on her and grab her, but Mabel was able to melt his hands off with the candlestick, causing him to scream and run away. However, Wax Shakespeare's hands were still alive on their own, and they tried to strangle Mabel, who ran over to a door and smashed their fingers on it. "Interview this, Larry King!," yelled Dipper, decapitating Wax Larry King with his candle. "My neck! My beautiful neck!," cried Wax Larry King. "Eh!," cried Wax Groucho Marx, accidentally touching the candle, which caused his hand to melt. "Jokes on you, Groucho!," yelled Dipper, slicing him in half with the candle. "I've heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous! Hey, why is there nothing in my hand?," asked Wax Groucho, before the top half of his body slid off his lower half completely. Seeing the battle unfold, Sammy tried to get back up and help the twins, but Wax Genghis Khan roughly forced him down. "Sammy, catch!," cried Mabel, tossing him another electric candlestick. Sammy was able to catch it with his teeth, then melted Wax Genghis Khan's hands, causing the giant man to yell out in pain and let him go. Not even letting him recover, Sammy rolled onto his back and launched him forward with his legs, sending the wax figure flying right into a nearby fireplace before disintegrating. "Ha, Genghis Khan! You fell harder than the… uh… I don't know, uh, Jin Dynasty? Yeah, that sounds good."
Meanwhile, Mabel was swinging around Wax Coolio's severed head while surrounded by wax figures. "Ow ow ow ow! What's up with that?," asked Wax Coolio's head. Sammy quickly went to help her fight off the wax figures. "Dipper! Watch out!," cried Mabel. Dipper sliced Wax Richard Nixon's leg off and pushed him back, while Wax Sherlock approached him menacingly. "Alright. Let's get this taken care of," he said, putting Wax Stan's head on the horn of a stuffed rhino on the wall before grabbing a sword hanging on the wall. Dipper tried to defend himself with his electric candlestick, but Wax Sherlock knocked it out of his hand and broke it. "Oh no! Dipper!," cried Sammy, too busy helping Mabel fight off the other wax figures to run to his aid. "Don't worry guys, I'll be fine!," Dipper assured them. "Oh, really?," Wax Sherlock asked with a sneer. "Tell me, boy, what are you going to do now that you are unarmed?" Sammy frantically looked around the room and spotted a poker in the fireplace. "Mabel, the poker!," he cried while wrestling with Wax Edison. Knowing what to do, Mabel ran and ducked between the legs of Wax Shakespeare and grabbed the poker from the fireplace. "Catch!," she said, tossing the poker at Dipper, who was able to grab it. Wax Sherlock attacked Dipper with his sword, but Dipper was barely able to block it with his poker. The two of them kept exchanging blows with one another, but Wax Sherlock managed to push Dipper back with his blows and corner him.
"Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once again!," said Wax Sherlock, raising his sword over his head. Fortunately, Dipper was able to roll out of the way and hop onto a nearby window. "Don't count on it!," he said, climbing through the window and onto the roof of the shack. "Come back here, you brat!," yelled Wax Sherlock, climbing after him. "Dipper!," cried Mabel, worried for the safety of her brother. "Dipper can handle himself, Mabel," said Sammy, punching Wax Lizzie Borden square in the nose. "But right now, we need to take care of these other wax figures." "Right!," said Mabel, glaring at the wax figures while holding out her candle like it was a rapier. "Come on, you creepy, dead eyed jerks! Show us what you got!"
The wax figures were happy to oblige and fought back the best they could, but with the electric candles, taking them out was fairly easy. After only a few minutes of fighting, the entire room was stained with large splatters of melted wax, though a few of their body parts were still alive somehow. While Sammy worriedly waited for Dipper at the window, Mabel began tossing the body parts into the fireplace, the last one being the head of Wax Shakespeare.
"Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise agayn!," Wax Shaekespeare's head declared. "Y'know any limericks?," asked Mabel. "Uh… there once was a dude from Kentucky…," Wax Shakespeare said nervously. "Nope!," said Mabel, throwing the head into the fire without mercy. Meanwhile, Sammy was poking his head out the window and trying to look up at the roof, but he couldn't see Dipper anywhere. "Come on, Dipper," he murmured. "I know you're up there." Then, as if on cue, he saw Dipper finally appearing at the edge of the roof with a smile. "Dipper, you're okay!," said Sammy, relieved beyond words. "What happened up there? Did you beat Sherlock?" "Yep, I sure did," Dipper replied proudly. "Let's just say that he couldn't take the heat. Heh, heh." "...what?," asked Sammy, confused. "Oh, uh… that was a joke," said Dipper. "You know, about how wax melts really easily…" "Um… okay," said Sammy. "Could you come down now? It's not safe to be up there." Dipper nodded and climbed back down, letting Sammy help him through the window. "Dipper! You're okay!," said Mabel, running towards them. "You solved the mystery after all." Dipper pulled up a chair and used it to get Wax Stan's head from the rhino's horn. "I couldn't have done it without my sidekicks," he said. "No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick," said Mabel, unable to resist poking fun at him. "What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?," asked Dipper, feeling insecure.
Of course, the real Stan Pines chose now of all times to walk into the room. "Hot Belgian waffles!," he gasped, shocked by the mess. "What happened to my parlor?!" "Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to death!," said Mabel. "I decapitated Larry King," said Dipper. "And I burned Genghis Khan to a crisp," said Sammy. However, Stan didn't take them seriously. "Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!," he chuckled. "On the bright side, though, look what we found," said Dipper, showing Stan the head of Wax Stan. "My head!," Stan said happily, taking the head from Dipper. "Ha ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing." While Sammy was fine with that, Dipper and Mabel were quick to protest, but that didn't stop Stan from grabbing the three of them and giving each of them some noogies. Suddenly, they all heard the sound of a car pulling up and saw none other than the two cops, Blubs and Durland, pulling up by their window. But unlike the last time they saw them, the cops appeared more sheepish than before. "Hey there, folks," said Blubs. "Just wanted to check up on you. So did you solve the case yet?" Sammy, the twins, and even Stan glanced at each other with a smile. "Actually, the answer is yes," Dipper said proudly.
Stan showed Blubs and Durland the head of Wax Stan, causing the two cops to lean in with wide eyes. "Well I'll be… he actually solved it!," said Durland. "Guess he wasn't as much of a city boy as we thought he was…" Blubs was shocked too, but he quickly composed himself. "Good job," he said. "You sure proved us wrong, boy. Listen, me and Deputy Durland are real sorry for talking down on you earlier." "Can you forgive us for our unprofessional behavior?," asked Durland, as both he and Blubs took off their hats and held it to their chests.
"Wait, what? I don't get it," said Dipper. "Before, you two were calling me adorable and making fun of us. Why are you both acting so nice all of a sudden?" Blubs and Sammy locked eyes for a moment. "Let's just say someone helped us realize that we had a little growing up of our own to do," said Blubs. Sammy smiled and gave a small nod of respect to both Blubs and Durland, happy by how much they had changed. The two cops smiled and nodded back. "But anyway, we'll leave you be now. Have a good day," said Blubs, driving away while leaving the twins in shock. "Huh. That was weird," Stan commented. "Since when did these two yahoos start acting like actual cops?" "People can change, Mister Pines," said Sammy. "Sometimes for the better." "So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?," Dipper asked Mabel. "I am ninety-nine percent sure that we did!," said Mabel. "Good enough for me!," Dipper said happily.