A/N: Hello again! Meg is standing over me with a whip making me write this. SLAVE LABOUR, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SLAVE LABOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahem cough cough yes. Oww, she poked me. Repeatedly. sigh -- Disclaimer: Don't own nothing. D-U- H.

mutters to self no one noticed that double negative, did they? ... aw crap. FINE. You all know I own nothing anyway, or else why would I BE here???? Yeesh.

A note on this chapter: the idea for the most amusing part was given to me by Meg, in fact. Yes, the same Meg that is currently whacking me over the head to keep writing and stop telling people it was her idea HAHAHAHAHA okay I'll shut up now.

And thank you, Meg, for that amusing review.

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Over the next few days, the fight between Hermione and Ron did not cease, or come close to ceasing, or even come close to coming close to ceasing. In fact, it got steadily worse. Harry continuously went back and forth between them, pleading, persuading, and arguing with them both to stop arguing with each other. One minute he would be on Ron's side, the next he'd be on Hermione's side, and the next they'd both be furious with him. Through all the confusion, however, Ron and Hermione still somehow managed to stay mad at one another.

In their first Care of Magical Creatures lesson, Harry was relieved for the chance to be able to talk to Hagrid, not to mention hide behind him so neither of his best friends could see him.

"Wha's wrong with Ron an' Hermione, Harry?" Hagrid asked him during that first lesson. "They seem ter be mad at summat."

"They're fighting, and have been for days," said Harry sullenly. "I've been trying to stop them, but nothing works."

"Oh, they'll come around," Hagrid said reassuringly, whopping Harry on the back and nearly knocking him over, before walking around to the front of the class.

"Right, we've got a special treat today," Hagrid called loudly. "As a sort of surprise for the first class. This here's Shadow, and we'll be giving him a bath today as a class project, as a favour to Professor Blackstorm."

The giant black cat rose to his feet in the shadows beside Hagrid's house. Again, no one had noticed him until now. Everyone jumped backwards.

"Giving it a bath?" came a drawling voice from the back of the group. "Isn't that a bit ... simple for sixth-years?"

Harry, Ron and Hermione all glared at the sneering Malfoy. For once, they were united in their opinions. Over by Hagrid's house, the cat – Shadow – had frozen in its steps. Hagrid was explaining how all magical creatures needed to be kept clean in order for their powers to properly work.

"He looks clean to me," stated Lavender, glancing over at him. "Is he not actually black?"

Shadow's silver eyes widened as Hagrid explained that he actually had markings all over his body, but filth had built up so that you couldn't see them. The class laughed.

"All right, let's get started," he said loudly. "Seamus, Dean, Neville, you three go get that big tub over there, and start filling it with water from yer wands. Harry, Ron, Hermione, would yeh go get the bottles of soap from my cabin? The rest of you, roll up yer sleeves and watch how I get Shadow over to the tub."

Harry, Ron and Hermione trudged inside and found the six bottles on a stool by the door. "Bloody Malfoy," muttered Ron. "I hope that cat bites him."

"Ron! If he does, Hagrid will be sued again and the cat could be put down!" Hermione snapped. "Don't be stupid!"

Harry sighed. Here they went again.

All of a sudden, there was a loud yell from outside, and students' screams. Harry burst open the door, and the three of them gaped, open-mouthed, as Hagrid was dragged past them on the ground, on his stomach. He was holding tightly onto a chain attached to a collar around Shadow's neck, and the giant cat was pulling frantically in the opposite direction of the tub that was now full of water.

"Don' worry, I've got him!" Hagrid was bellowing. "I've got him! Cats just don't like water, that's all!"

Hagrid pulled himself up, using the chain, and somehow got himself to a standing position. Then he hauled the giant cat towards him and caught it up around the middle, lifting it into the air as it writhed and thrashed wildly.

"Don't worry, everyone, just follow my instructions!"

Ron tugged on Harry's sleeve. "Harry, do you remember what happened the last time he told us to follow his instructions concerning something big and black?"

Harry grinned fleetingly, remembering their adventure with the giant spiders in second year.

"HARRY! Ron! Hermione! Bring the soap!" Hagrid was yelling now as he carried Shadow towards the tub of water. The rest of the class were huddled in a group, pressed against the side of the cabin and watching intently as Hagrid, unceremoniously and roughly, dumped the giant cat into the tub.

Harry seized two bottles of soap and started outside, Ron and Hermione doing the same. They approached slowly and warily, becoming more and more uncertain as Hagrid yelled "Hold 'im down! C'mon, someone, help me hold 'im down!"

"Ohhh, no," Malfoy's voice could be heard only by those people close to him over the yells of Hagrid and the screeching of Shadow. "We're not coming close to that thing!"

When they'd got to within ten feet of the tub, Ron and Hermione stopped walking. "Ah ... I'm not going closer to that than necessary," said Ron nervously, and Harry sighed, taking Ron's two bottles from him. Harry edged forward, unstopped the top of the first bottle, and read the label.

CAT WASH – INCLUDES TRANQUILIZING POTION.

Harry looked back up at the tub – Hagrid holding the cat under the water half the time, it scratching and biting and clawing everywhere it could – and he tossed the opened bottle into the tub. For the first few seconds nothing happened. Then the cat slowly started calming down, clawing less and not thrashing anymore. Hagrid relaxed slightly, panting.

"All right, everyone! Take off your outer robes and roll up your sleeves! There's a crate of sponges and brushes over there by the cabin, so everyone grab one and get washing!" he called, and now that the cat had stopped thrashing, the class hesitantly moved forward. "Put yer robes in a pile over there, and get on with it! You're all bein' marked on this, so anyone who doesn't help here gets to babysit my last Blast-Ended Skrewt while the rest all wash Shadow."

Immediately, the students shed their black robes, tossed them in a pile, and went to get sponges and brushes.

Within seconds, everyone was crowded around the tub, scrubbing Shadow everywhere they could reach while Harry and Hermione poured in the other five bottles of soap. "How long does the tranquilizing potion work, Hagrid?" Harry asked after he and Hermione took off their robes and got a sponge each.

((A/N: All of you sick minded readers out there, PLEASE stop imagining the characters without any clothes on. They still have shirts and pants or skirts on. They just took off the black robes they wear OVER those. So just – just – STOP. Thank you.))

"Tranquilizing potion? Oh, in the soap. Well, to be honest, er, I'm not sure," Hagrid said in a low voice, "but don't tell, would yeh? Don' wanna scare off the class now they're washing fine."

Harry nodded slowly, stuck his hands into the tub of water and started scrubbing.

Hermione was standing beside him, washing away. Shadow jerked his back paw slightly, and sprayed everyone on one end of the tub. They all laughed and wiped sudsy water out of their eyes and hair, and continued scrubbing with their sponges.

After a few more minutes had passed, Shadow started twitching more often. His silver eyes opened, and apparently, didn't like what they saw. A class full of teenagers, all talking and laughing rather too loudly (in his opinion), and washing him. Cleaning him. Bathing him.

Without any warning at all, the giant black cat reared up out of the tub and started clawing at the air, trying to escape the water and the bubbles and the soap suds that surrounded him. It was all too fast for many of the students to react, and, seizing his chance, Shadow leapt out of the tub, straight onto someone's chest, knocking them clean onto their back. Now the class had all started running in different directions, away from the tub and the cat, scattering all over the hill beside Hagrid's hut.

"No, no, no! We still have to rinse and brush 'im down!" Hagrid was yelling. "Don' worry, I've still got 'is chain!"

"Real reassuring, Hagrid!" Ron hollered as he tripped over his own feet in an attempt to get away. The cat yowled, scrambling to his feet and trying to disentangle his claws from the boy's shirt that he had landed on – Malfoy.

Shadow ran forwards, eagerly anticipating freedom – and was jerked to an abrupt halt as he came to the end of the chain. Hagrid was holding on to the other end with all his might. "Now, get out yer wands and on my count, spray 'im with water!" he bellowed. Students stopped running, seeing that Shadow was restrained (and pouting), and inched closer until they were all within spell's range. "Right! One – two – three!" Hagrid shouted, and Shadow was instantly drenched from the spouts of water coming from thirty wands all directed at him.

Once all the soapsuds had been thoroughly dispersed, Hagrid told the class to get out their brushes. "Put yer sponges back in the crate, and get the brushes out while I calm 'im down a bit," he said, and took a brush out himself. Shadow hissed and growled at him at first, but when Hagrid started brushing his coat, the giant black cat lay down and put his paws over his head in defeat.

Everyone – especially the girls – rushed forward and started running their brushes through his thick fur. Hermione noticed something on his back and paws.

"Hagrid – what are those?" she asked, pointing at the now-visible silver markings running all down Shadow's spine, and around his paws. All the girls oohed and aahed.

"Those 're the markin's Professor Blackstorm told me about. Not sure just what they mean, though."

As he brushed Shadow's side, Harry began to wonder when the class would end. Would they have to dry the huge cat, too? He was still dripping wet now, brushed or not. "Hagrid," he called," are we going to dry him off, too?"

"Oh, no," Hagrid said with a smile, and Harry was secretly relieved. "That's for the fifth years to do. Yeh have about half and hour till next class now, yeh can start putting the brushes away," he said to the class at large. "About the Zote, what can be said? There was just one and now it's dead!"

"What?" said Harry, Hermione and Ron at once.

"Oh, nothing," said Hagrid, and he trundled off towards his cabin, carrying an armful of brushes, Shadow slinking along behind him and shooting dark glances at everyone he passed. As he went by Harry, the giant cat chose to stop short, and start to shake.

Water sprayed everywhere, in all directions, as far as fifteen feet away from him. Every person within the vicinity got absolutely soaked, and stood dripping wet, eyes squinched shut. When they could see, they all glared murderously at Shadow prancing by, a look on his face that could only be described as a smirk.

"Aw, man!" squealed Lavender and Parvati. "We can't go to class like this! We're all dripping wet!"

There was a long silence as everyone tried to wring out their shirts, most unsuccessfully.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt."

"What?"

Everyone turned to stare at Dean, who had a hand on the bottom of his shirt, and a stupid grin on his face. He started taking it off as he sang again. "I'm too sexy for my shirt!"

Hermione's eyebrows shot up. "I've heard that song on the Muggle radio before," she said to Harry.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts..." Dean was singing as he stripped off his shirt and started wringing it out. Seamus caught on first.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt!" he crowed, taking off his shirt as well. An infectious grin spread across the faces of all the boys present.

Suddenly, there was a spontaneous outburst of song from all the dripping, soaking wet boys in the class. Shirts came off every which where, voices were raised, grins widened, and girls giggled. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!!!" they all yelled.

Harry and Ron were bent over double laughing, their sopping shirts still on their bodies. Hermione stood over with the rest of the girls, looking disapprovingly at the mass of shirtless boys, but not looking away. Ron looked up, and spotted someone coming out of the school. Her fiery red robes billowing behind her gave her away, and an odd expression came over Ron's face.

"I'M too sexy for my shirt!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, and Harry looked round at him.

"What?" he said, bewildered, as his friend attempted to take his shirt off. Unfortunately, it wasn't working very well. The neck got stuck on Ron's chin, and no matter how hard he pulled at it, it refused to come off of him. He stumbled around, yelling muffled yells, trying to get the shirt off, and bumped into the group of yelling boys that quickly sucked him into their masses. Seamus and Dean emerged, laughing uproariously and swinging their wet shirts over their heads, and went up to Harry.

"Oh, no, you're not getting me into –" Harry began, but they had pulled his shirt right off of his head before he could finish, and pulled him into the group, all still singing at the tops of their lungs.

Fiora walked by, staring amusedly at them, and tapped Parvati on the shoulder. "Uh – is this a usual occurrence at Hogwarts?"

"No!" Parvati squealed, laughing delightedly. "Unfortunately not!"

"Oh," Fiora said, shaking her head, and going on towards Hagrid's cabin.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts..."