Disclaimer: Bah.

A/N: I'm baaaaaaaack! Along with my slavemaster Meg. Writing is just so much fun. Don't forget to find the wacky quote! I'll remind you again at the end of the chapter. Remember – the first reviewer who correctly guesses what the quote is gets their idea incorporated into the story! Huzzah.

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Weeks passed.

As the classes got steadily stranger, the students got used to it. Sort of. Well, they adjusted. Slightly. Right, who cares? Anyway, Professors Blackstorm, Moonshine and Brightflame continued to make boys drool in their presence. Ron was especially smitten with Professor Brightflame, understandably. Harry was of course attracted to all three, but hadn't picked a favourite. And dear Hermione kept rolling her eyes and bashing the two – especially Ron – over the head for staring.

The two of them still hadn't made it up. They continued to snipe at each other constantly, often putting Harry in the middle, and both refused to apologize. Neither would listen to Harry's pleas, either. This had to be one of the longest-running fights between the two of them that they'd ever had. Not once in six years had any of the trio fought steadily for more than a month, and now it had been almost two.

Everyone else around them got used to the bickering. It was the same as always, only slightly escalated. Even the professors accepted the fact that they weren't going to work together well, no matter how many times they were paired up by a teacher.

The great black cat came and went, appearing halfway through classes and moseying out just as quickly. This wandering was not restricted only to Defense Against the Dark Arts, either; the cat went where he pleased, when he pleased, and could usually be found either sleeping, smirking in his catlike way, or running from groups of giggling girls wanting to pet his glossy fur and tie in little pink bows.

With Halloween approaching, a notice was sent out to all students that there would be a ball on the evening of October thirty-first. Costumes were mandatory; anyone who was not in costume would not be allowed in (people dressed as Muggles did not count unless they were famous). There would be two different costume contests – one for the students and one for the professors. The prize, awarded to the best-dressed male and female students, would be a free trip to Romania for winter break. The teachers' prize, male and female, would be a surprise.

All the students were quite excited about the prospect of a Halloween ball. It had never occurred before, and so a special trip to Hogsmeade was arranged so that everyone could go to get costumes the weekend before the occasion.

"But what should I go as?" asked Hermione.

The three friends were huddled on the couch in the Gryffindor common room, discussing what they should wear for costumes. Harry and Ron stared in a mix of horror and fascination as she coaxed the massive black-furred cat over to the couch from his place in front of the fire. When he sank back down again, this time just beside the couch, she began petting him, and the three of them could swear they heard purring.

Hermione and Ron started debating on what to be.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Well, what should I go as, you twits?"

"Oh, right. Uh ... you could go as a cat..." This earned Ron a rolling of Hermione's eyes.

"I mean seriously. I have no idea what to go as."

"I was serious. You could get a whole suit, all black, and cat ears, and a tail, and claws and stuff."

Hermione looked thoughtful. "I suppose it could work. What about you two?"

"I dunno. I was thinking of going as a butterfly."

"Ron, you are not going as a butterfly," said Harry firmly. "I won't let you disgrace yourself like that."

"Hey, butterflies are cool."

"Why don't you go as a spider?"

"HERMIONE!"

"What? It would allow you to overcome your arachnophobia."

"My ... what?"

"Fear of spiders, Ron."

"Thanks Harry. I have no idea what to go as." Ron started naming off different things. "Let's see ... a nose, a bat, a fairy, a frog, a frog prince, a rat – wait no, nevermind ... uh ... a unicorn, a Bowtruckle, a giant –"

"I don't see why you don't just go as a spider."

"Shut up, Hermione ... I'm running out of ideas here ..."

"You could go as Dumbledore."

"I could what?"

"He could what?"

"Dumbledore. Y'know, you could get a big long beard and robes with stars and stuff. And half-moon glasses. And eccentricity."

"I love it!" cried Hermione, looking excited. "And we could get that ageing potion that he used in fourth year to give the twins beards, only longer! And I could research how to make good cat ears and eyes and claws and things ..."

"You know who might be good at all that," suggested Harry.

"Who?"

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A little while later, the three of them, Shadow trotting behind them and looking alert and amused, were knocking on the door to the DADA office. Ron was extremely nervous, Hermione was excited, and Harry was knocking. When it opened and Professor Brightflame peeked her head out, she squealed in a rather high-pitched manner.

"Ooh! So wonderful to see you all on a Saturday morning. Aren't you going to Hogsmeade?"

"Yes, in about an hour. We were just wondering whether one of you three could – er – help us with our costumes?"

"Why, of course! Come on in!" chirped the professor, and stepped aside, opening the door with her. It was the three's first time seeing the inside of the office, and now they stared around in wonder.

There were three very distinct areas in the room, clearly belonging to each of the three women. One corner was bright reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows, and was decorated with exotic dolls, strange-looking devices with no apparent purpose, and lots and lots and lots of candles. Another corner was almost the polar opposite, being all blacks and purples and dark blues. There was transparent shimmery material hanging from the walls in that corner, and it was scattered with books. Many, many, many books. The third area was entirely made up of greens and blues, and was decorated with plants. The entire area was covered in plants. At a sort of neutral point in the room, there was a fireplace with chairs around it.

Overall, the room gave the impression of harmonic chaos.

"Bloody hell," said Ron. Hermione elbowed him.

Professors Blackstorm and Moonshine were sitting in their respective corners (Blackstorm was in a turtle-shell chair, reading, Moonshine in a hammock made from vines). They looked up when everyone came in.

"Oh, hello. What do you want?" said Blackstorm.

"Er – sorry to bother you and all –"

"They want help with their costumes!" sang Brightflame, clapping her hands. "I took pity on them because they're – well, you know – small."

"To you," muttered Moonshine, the shortest of the three.

"What exactly do you need help with?" asked Blackstorm. Harry looked to Ron and Hermione for help and got none.

"Er – um – our, uh, costumes?"

"Yeah, I got that part. What do you need help with?"

"Cat ears!" cried Hermione, at the same time that Ron blurted out, "Beards!"

"I'll cover the cat ears," said Blackstorm. "You'd better cover the beards, Lú, we don't want Sil incinerating them."

"Too true," agreed Moonshine, swinging her legs out of the hammock and standing up. She beckoned to Ron. "What kind of beard did you have in mind?"

About half an hour later, Ron had learned a spell to grow long white hair and a long white beard in two minutes. Hermione had learned a spell to grow black, velvety cat ears in two minutes. She knew a handy little spell that grew claws out of the tips of her fingers (that were quite sharp, proven by Ron). She had also learned a trick that gave her catlike eyes. Harry, not knowing what else to do, had learned it all, and could now effectively be, if he wanted to, a cat-eared, cat-eyed, clawed Dumbledore.

As soon as the professors were satisfied that they had learned the spells well enough to get them practically perfect, they checked the clock and informed them that they had about fifteen minutes to get ready for Hogsmeade and get down to the Great Hall. With many hurried thank-you's, Hermione and Ron rushed out of the room. Harry hung back, looking nervous.

"Aren't you going to Hogsmeade?" asked Brightflame, tilting her head to one side in her childish way. Harry nodded.

"Yeah, but – I have no idea of what I'm going to go as still."

"Oh, you want ideas?" asked Brightflame, her face lighting up in a brilliant smile. "Okay, cockroach."

"Butterfly," suggested Moonshine.

"Birdie!"

"Tree!"

"Rose!"

"Yak!"

"What?"

"A yellow hairy cow."

"Oh."

"A moose!"

"A bunny!"

"Dracula!"

"Oooh, that's a good one, Star. Hmmm ... a Nazgul!"

"An Acromantula?"

"Are you liking anything you're hearing yet, Harry?" asked Brightflame hopefully.

Harry had been looking back and forth between the two of them, watching them throw out ideas back and forth like a tennis match. Now he shook his head slowly. "Er, sorry, but what's a Nazgul?"

"Nevermind. Hmmm ... you could go as a Dementor," suggested Brightflame.

"NO," said Harry decisively.

"Excuse me," said Blackstorm, who had finally gotten up and was now standing in front of Harry, peering closely at him. She looked him up and down, and said, "Turn around." Harry did so. When he was facing her again, he realized that all three professors were now staring closely at him. He was just beginning to get unnerved when Blackstorm leaned back and snapped her fingers. "I've got it."

"What?"

"Elf."

"YES!" cried both Moonshine and Brightflame, excitedly.

"Green eyes –" began Moonshine.

"Messy black hair –" Brightflame went on.

"And he's damn good-looking," finished Blackstorm. The other two nodded, grinning.

Harry turned bright, fire-engine red and coughed.

"Right, well, come by our office on Halloween before the ball and we'll get you your costume. What colours do you want your robes to be?" asked Blackstorm.

"My – what?"

"You don't need to buy your costume at Hogsmeade today, we can make you one. We know what Elves wear. Now, what colours would you like your robes to be?" asked Moonshine.

"Oh," said Harry. "Er – thanks – thank a lot – wow –"

"What colours do you want?" asked Blackstorm impatiently.

"Er – green?" suggested Harry. "To match –"

"Eyes, right, good choice. Light green, dark green...?" asked Moonshine.

"Dark, if that's okay."

"Good choice too. Silver with it?" asked Blackstorm.

"No! Those are Slytherin colours!"

"Hmm, true. How about gold?" she suggested. Harry shrugged.

"Sure."

"Dark emerald green with gold trim ... I like it. How about just a little bit of silver in there because it does go so well with green?" asked Moonshine.

"Uh ... okay, fine. But mostly gold, right?"

"Yes."

"And with fire at the bottom of the robes!" squeaked Brightflame, bouncing up and down and clapping excitedly. All three others turned to look at her and shook their heads.

"No," said Moonshine and Blackstorm at the same time.

"Er – so you'll make my whole costume for me?"

"That's right. Now get going, you don't want to miss your friends and be late for Hogsmeade," said Moonshine, and shooed him out the door.

"Professors – thank you so much –"

"Call me Fiora."

"Call me Star."

"Call me – Professor Blackstorm," said Blackstorm, and the other two turned and rolled their eyes at her in exasperation.

"Kira."

"Oh, fine, do whatever. But only outside of class. And not in front of anyone else. Got it?"

"Yes, Professor. I mean – Dar- what was it?"

"You're late for Hogsmeade. Go!" said Blackstorm/Darkira, and Harry went.

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"What took you so long?" asked Hermione as the three friends walked through the snow towards Hogsmeade. He'd caught up with her and Ron just as they were in line to go in the Great Hall.

"Oh, I just wanted to talk to the professors about something. Where are you going to get your costumes?"

When they got to Hogsmeade, Hermione ran off into a store and wouldn't let Harry and Ron come in because she wanted her outfit to be "secret". After much eye-rolling on Ron's part, he dragged Harry into a robes shop and made him help pick out Dumbledore-esque robes – ones in deep purples and blues, decorated with shining stars, moons and planets. When they had found one that suited the part perfectly, Harry helped Ron pay for it (early Christmas present) and they headed to the Three Broomsticks to meet up with Hermione.

On the way there, Harry (through much persuading) convinced Ron to get something for Hermione. After all, they were almost on civil terms now, and he'd better do something to seal it. After some debate Ron bought a small box of pumpkin-shaped chocolates from Honeydukes for her.

When they got to the Three Broomsticks, she was already sitting at a table with a group of girls including Lavender, Parvati, Ginny, Hannah Abbot, and some other Gryffindor and Hufflepuff fifth- and sixth-year girls. Harry and Ron sat down beside her and put their bags on the floor beside the other girls' things.

"Oh, hello guys!" said Hermione. "We were just talking about boys, in fact – reasons why chocolate is better than boys, actually."

"What?" cried Ron. "We're better than chocolate."

The girls at the table all laughed. "No one's ever been jilted by a chocolate gateau," said Lavender challengingly. Ron stuttered.

"Uh – well, you –"

At that moment, Seamus, Dean and Neville walked by and overheard the conversation. "Chocolate never keeps you waiting," retorted Seamus.

"It's on!" cried Ginny, who put up one finger. "After telling your chocolate bar all your worries you can simply eat it."

"Bah! Well – chocolate doesn't get jealous when you look at another chocolate bar!" said Dean, who was still in fact dating Ginny, who stuck her tongue out at him.

"You can share chocolates with your best friend," said Parvati, and she and Lavender giggled.

"Yeah – well – you never have to buy a box of chocolates for a box of chocolates!" grumbled Ron. Harry elbowed him.

"A bar of chocolate doesn't bore you by constantly talking about Quidditch," said Hannah.

"Chocolate doesn't talk incessantly while you're watching Quidditch, either!" retorted Neville, and then he blushed.

"Your mother will never disapprove of your choice of chocolate," said a fifth-year Hufflepuff girl.

"It doesn't expect you to remember the anniversary of the first time you met!" said Seamus.

"Chocolate never tries to chat up your best friend!" said Dean, glaring at Lavender, who batted her eyelashes innocently at him.

"Chocolate isn't looking for a long term commitment!" called a seventh-year Ravenclaw from another table. The girl sitting next to him whacked him over the head while they all laughed. The girls seemed to be at a bit of a loss, and the guys started cheering because they'd won the war. Ron chose this lovely, perfect moment to dig the box of chocolates out of his bag and hand it unceremoniously to Hermione, who hadn't taken much part in the battle.

"Here. Sorry about fighting for two months. We friends again?" he asked as she raised an eyebrow at him. She cleared her throat to get everyone's attention.

"Life is like a box of chocolates, a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift no one ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this mostly indefinable whipped mint crap, mindlessly wolfed down when there's nothing else to eat during the game. Sure, once in a while you get a peanut butter cup or an English toffee, but it's gone too soon and the taste is fleeting. In the end you're left with nothing but broken bits of hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, which if you are desperate enough to eat, leaves nothing but useless brown paper wrappers."

There was a short silence during which everyone in the immediate vicinity stared at her, and then the girls broke out into applause. Even the guys admitted that her speech topped them all. With as much dignity as she could muster, Hermione handed the chocolates back to a furiously blushing Ron, who had at least enough sense to put them back into his bag. He'd give it to her later.

The only one who hadn't actually said anything about chocolate, Harry, now spoke up. "Anyone hungry?"

There was a chorus of "Yes", and they all went up to the counter to order Butterbeer and cookies. (The cookies were on the house for the girls from Madame Rosmerta as their prize for winning the chocolate war.)

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Back in the common room later that afternoon, when everyone else had gone to their respective houses, Harry asked Hermione if she'd got what she was looking for in her costume.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. I quite like it, it's all in black and very catlike. And no, I'm not going to show it to you. It's going to be a surprise for the ball, thank you very much. I don't want to see either of your costumes either, it ruins all the fun."

"I wouldn't be able to show you mine anyway, even if you'd wanted to see it. Professor Blackstorm, Moonshine, and Brightflame are making it for me – they offered. Really nice of them, actually."

"They're making it for you?" asked Ron.

"Yep."

"What are you going as?" Hermione inquired.

"I'm not telling," said Harry proudly, "but it'll be good, I hope."

"Mine'll beat yours, mate, and you know it."

"Probably."

"Ron, have you still got that chocolate with you?"

Both boys turned to look at her quizzically. "What?" asked Ron.

"That chocolate you were going to give me in the Three Broomsticks. Have you still got it?"

"Uh – yeah, why?"

"I've decided I'm not mad at you anymore."

A smile broke out on Ron's face. "Well, that's good. Y' know, I was beginning to get worried there –"

"And therefore, can I still have the chocolates?" Hermione interrupted him. Ron looked taken aback, but swallowed, and nodded. He got up off the couch uncertainly, and went up the dormitory stairs to get the chocolate from his costume bag.

When he came back down with the small box, Hermione smiled and took it from him.

"Just one question – why didn't you take it before?" Ron asked timidly.

"Oh, I was just trying to prove a point. Thank you very much for the chocolate, Ron."

And she popped them into her mouth (not all at once, you sickos).

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On the day of the ball, Halloween itself, classes were let out early so that students could get ready for the six o' clock start and so that the Great Hall could be readied for the occasion. Every class (except Potions of course) did some kind of festive activity. Last period before the end of the day for Harry, Ron and Hermione was Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Today we are going to be working on some techniques to fireproof a room," said Bgifhtflame smilingly. "The spell is called –"

At that moment, interrupting her, the door opened, and in walked a man.

He had long, silver hair that shimmered in the light and swayed slightly when he walked. He walked with a slight swagger that showed total confidence and superiority. His eyes were icy blue, but where there should be white, instead there was silver. His ears were slightly more pointed than could be human and just protruded out of his hair. His skin was heavily tanned and flawless.

As he entered, every female in the room's mouths dropped open. He was so good-looking it almost hurt to look at him, but they managed.

The three professors were staring at him in horror, Harry noticed. This was quite contrary to the expressions of everyone else. The man, who looked to be about twenty-one, swaggered over to a comfortable-looking armchair and sank down onto it, looking incredibly casual and uncaring. Moonshine promptly crossed the room in three strides and stood beside his chair. She turned towards the class and forced a smile to her face.

"Shut your mouths, children," muttered Blackstorm. "You'll catch flies."

"Class," said Moonshine, falsely cheerful, "allow me to introduce you to my cousin. His name is ... uh, his name is – Katze!"

"Gato!" cried Brightflame.

"Sombra!" announced Blackstorm. They'd all said the names at the same time. The man turned to look at them.

"Uh, no. Those are just your crazy nicknames. My name is Elendil Lossëhelin."

"Yes!" chorused the three professors.

"Elendil, say hello to our students."

The man – Elendil – swept his gaze over the sea of faces before him and lifted a delicate eyebrow. "Hi."

All the girls sighed dreamily.

Harry looked sideways at Hermione, who surprisingly was also starry-eyed. He rolled his eyes at Ron, who snickered. Harry reached over and chucked her under the chin. "Wake up," he whispered. She glanced at him, and stuck out her tongue.

"Elendil will be sitting in on this class today. Please feel free to ignore him, completely. In fact, do. Yes, even you, Miss Brown, Miss Patil. Please continue, Sil."

"Thank you, Kira. As I was saying, this class we are going to learn a fireproofing spell that will fireproof a room and yourself. After using this spell effectively on yourself, and after making sure absolutely everything had been covered, you can pretty well walk through fire. Isn't that cool?" she said delightedly.

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At the end of the lesson, the three professors called Harry back on his way out. He remembered what he had asked, and told Ron and Hermione he would either see them in the common room later or he'd see them at the ball. Hermione nodded and waved to him, while Ron grumbled about the fact that Harry was staying alone in a room with the three drop-dead gorgeous professors. Hermione told him he wasn't alone, he had Elendil, the lucky little bum.

Harry turned to the three professors. They were smiling at him.

"We have your outfit, full and completed," said Brightflame.

"If I do say so myself, it is very well made," said Blackstorm.

"Well, let's get you ready," said Moonshine, and they went to work.

A/N: Hope you all liked this chapter! Remember, the first reviewer to tell me what the crazy quote in this chapter was gets their idea incorporated into the story! Ciao!!