Daniel paced outside as he waited for what felt like his day of reckoning.
Why did he just do that? Why? Had he completely lost his mind? He berated himself and continued to pace, only stopping when he heard the sound of Sully's front door opening and then closing.
He turned to look at his brother, and the gentle, warm-heartedness that was usually present in his crystal blue eyes was replaced with fury.
"Sully," Daniel began, "I'm sorry, I was out of line–"
"You bet you were!" Sully bellowed with closed fits at his sides.
"I didn't mean any harm," Daniel tried to assure Sully, but Sully wasn't buying it.
"You asked my girlfriend to take off her tights so you could give her a barefoot massage," Sully retorted, "What if she had a backache? Would ya have asked her to take off her dress? Her bra?"
"Of course not!" Daniel insisted, "What do you think I am?"
"I've seen how you operate, Brother," Sully raged on, "I've seen ya seduce women before. I've seen ya do what ya just did in there," Sully pointed to his home as he yelled, "just to get a woman in bed. I just never thought you'd try to seduce the woman I love! She ain't just a pointless screw to me, Daniel! "
Sully stood seething with his fists clenched and his arms at 90-degree angles. He felt a plethora of emotions coursing through his body. Not only was he angry with Daniel, but he also felt betrayed. Moreover, as time went on, Sully found himself increasingly protective of Michaela. If it came down to it, he would pummel Daniel in her defense.
"I wasn't tryin' to seduce her!" Daniel stood firm. He didn't feel like he was trying to seduce her. He did something that he now regarded as thoughtless, because he was attracted to Michaela. He didn't see her as a possible one-night stand either.
"I've heard enough!" Sully shouted and shook his head. Now he was angry because he believed that Daniel felt that he was some kind of idiot.
"I'll say it again," Daniel said, "I'm sorry, I was out of line. I shouldn't have offered that kind of help." Now he felt guilty. He knew Sully liked her a lot, but he didn't realize that he'd fallen in love. Daniel had become so transfixed with her that he hadn't stopped to think about Sully's feelings. The last person he'd want to hurt was Sully, they were brothers. Not only that, but Sully had also been through way too much in the last couple of years.
"I said I've heard enough!" Sully snapped.
"What do you want me to say?" Daniel demanded.
"Something that doesn't make you sound like you're full of crap!" he hissed and turned to walk away. If he stayed outside any longer, Sully would have to punch his brother just because he wouldn't admit that his intentions were to get Michaela in bed.
"Wait," Daniel said with a sigh, not wanting Sully to walk away upset. He reached out intending to grab his arm to make him stop.
When Sully felt Daniel's hand touch him, it was like a match lighting a fuse and he blew up, "Get your hands off me!" He shoved Daniel so hard that he flew back a couple of feet.
Michaela opened the front door at the exact moment when Sully pushed Daniel. She quickly closed the door behind her and made her way to Sully.
"Oh no! Please stop," She begged. She put her arms around Sully's waist to keep him and Daniel from coming to blows, "Please don't fight."
Sully sighed and took a few deep breaths. When she put her arms around him, he naturally reciprocated and swung an arm around her. He guided her close to him, so the side of her body fit with his like a puzzle piece.
He happened to glance down and chuckled at what he saw. The anger he felt for Daniel was pushed aside as he smiled lovingly at her and asked, "Are ya wearin' my slippers?"
"Yes," she answered with a giggle. She brought her hand up and brushed her fingers through his hair and soothed a thick tendril behind his ear, "They're a little big, but very comfortable."
"I think they look good on you," Sully teased, "I think we should get ya a pair just like that in your size."
"So we can match?" she asked with a laugh, pleased that she was getting his attention focused on her, and his anger was dissipating.
"Maybe," he said, "They were a Christmas gift from one of Ma's friends last year. I haven't worn them in a while. Where did ya even find them?"
"I hope you don't mind," she replied, "I went through your closet to find them."
"No, I don't mind. You can look through the whole darn house if ya want," Sully insisted, knowing Michaela wasn't trying to snoop. She went into his closet for a valid reason, "I ain't got nothin' to hide from you. Well…except your Christmas presents. Just stay clear of my office until Christmas is over."
Michaela laughed and shook her head, "I promise not to look."
"You're the luckiest man in the world, Sully," Daniel said aloud, causing Sully and Michaela to look at him. Sully found someone to love, but he hadn't seemed to notice that Michaela was in love with him too...or... maybe he did, Daniel wasn't sure, but either way, he could tell by the way she looked at him, the way her eyes lit up bright, that this woman was passionately in love with his brother. Daniel didn't stand a chance if he chose to pursue her, and he knew it. He could see it the other night when Snowbird mentioned it, but he didn't want to admit that he agreed with her. How in the world did Sully get so lucky? "Ma'am, please forgive me if I was too forward." Then Daniel nodded to both of them and left.
The realization hit Sully that Daniel hadn't been trying to seduce Michaela, he did something foolish because he had a little crush on her. It was probably more than just a little crush, as Daniel wasn't a twelve-year-old boy. Sully could understand him being enamored with Michaela, but he wasn't about to share her or give her up. As long as Michaela wanted him, Sully wouldn't let her go.
Michaela didn't know what to make of Daniel, other than he was senseless at times. Sully had explained a little bit of it to her already.
Michaela had learned from Daniel, herself, that he was working hard in Nevada. She was actually impressed that like Sully, he really didn't have much of an education, but he was working his way up in the world. What Daniel appeared to need was a serious woman by his side. She just didn't know that Daniel wanted her to be the serious woman by his side.
"Is he going to be okay?" Michaela asked, hoping that she hadn't unintentionally caused a rift between Sully and his brother.
"Yeah," Sully replied, he planned to call Daniel in a few days to get the truth out of him, not that he was going to let him off the hook for his behavior. He understood why he did what he did, but Daniel needed to learn how to control himself. He needed to stop being a drifter, to stop flitting from one thing to the next, from one woman to the next. If he wanted a woman like Michaela, or maybe not like her, but someone stable at least, then it was up to Daniel, himself, to go out and try to build a relationship with his own partner. Sully would make sure he watched his step where Michaela was concerned, and he wasn't about to allow Daniel to make her feel uncomfortable, especially not in his house.
Moving in front of him, Michaela encircled his waist with both arms and placed her cheek on his chest. She closed her eyes and held him tight. Sully reciprocated by resting his cheek on the top of her head and bringing his arms over hers. Then he placed his hands on her back. He returned her affection by holding her as she held him.
"Do ya really have to go home tonight?" he questioned, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.
"I don't want to, but I'm afraid so," she answered him, sounding a little mournful.
Sully let out an agitated groan and sighed but continued to hold her.
"Why don't we finish our hot cocoa and enjoy the rest of the night like we planned?" Michaela suggested, offering up a small consolation prize: to finish the night as planned.
"Sure," he agreed, giving her another squeeze before letting her go.
Before letting her leave on Tuesday night, Sully ran to his office and printed a shoe sizing chart and asked Michaela to stand on it so he could measure her feet. She insisted that she wore a size seven shoe but humored him and let him measure her feet anyway.
He believed her when she told him that she wore a seven but having her step on the sizing chart gave him more information, like how wide her feet were, how long her toes were, and how high her arches were.
On Saturday morning, after dropping Colleen off at the theater where her recital was going to be, Michaela went home and was surprised to have Sully and his children arrive at her house an hour earlier than they'd discussed.
Her children were already dressed up and ready to go, but she wasn't.
"Early Christmas present," Sully said with a warm smile, and presented a shiny gift bag to her. He'd followed her upstairs to her bedroom and was patiently waiting for her to finish getting ready, "I think they'll look sexy on you."
Michaela could have guessed what the present was before she removed a small cardboard box from the silver gift bag. He'd obviously bought her a pair of shoes. She just wondered what he considered to be sexy because the box that she was looking at said Dr. Scholl's on it.
To her surprise, when she opened the box, she found that Sully did a nice job picking out shoes for her, "I didn't know that Dr. Scholl's sold shoes that look like this," she commented as she studied the shoes. He'd found black velvet pumps with a two-inch heel. They weren't stiletto heels, they were thicker than that, but they didn't look clunky. When she examined the inside, she could tell they were cushioned and had arch support.
"We're supposed to go shoppin' tomorrow," Sully reminded her, "but I thought you might want somethin' to wear tonight. They look like those skinny heel shoes that you like wearin'."
"Thank you, Sweetheart, I love them," Michaela said and moved forward to kiss his cheek, "Most men wouldn't think about this the way that you have."
"My mama, not Snowbird. My mama, Kathleen, loved shoes and clothes. You sorta remind me of her, I guess," Sully explained, "I don't think you're as obsessed with those things as she was."
"I don't think of myself as being obsessed with those things. I was taught to present myself a certain way," Michaela informed him, feeling a little bit defensive, "That includes my appearance. My clothing, my shoes, my hair, my make-up, the list goes on."
"I'm not puttin' ya down," Sully said, sensing that he may have accidentally insulted her, "I like the way ya look. I'm just tryin' to say that ya remind me of my mama. She wouldn't have gone anywhere if she didn't think she had on the right pair of shoes. I wanted to make sure that you had the right pair of shoes. That's all."
Michaela smiled at him. She understood that he was trying to take care of her, and that was what she valued most about his gift, "You think these are the right pair for me? How do you know that?" she was starting to tease him now.
"Like I told ya," he reiterated, "they look similar to the ones that you wear all the time. Except these ones aren't gonna break your ankles, give ya blisters, or make the balls of your feet ache."
"Well, like I told you," Michaela said a second time, "I love them. Thank you so much, Sweetheart," then she threw her arms around his neck and kissed his lips.
"I have a second motive for givin' you an early present," Sully whispered against her lips.
"Trying to get more kisses?" She joked.
"I meant I have a third motive," He chuckled, playing along, but then he asked his serious question, "Can you do somethin' with Hanna's hair?"
Michaela laughed when she heard that. She kissed him once more and said, "Certainly."
Colleen's recital went off without a hitch. Her instructor must have invested in Kidz Bop, Michaela thought, because the Christmas music that she selected sounded like pop music that was sung by a group of children.
When Colleen appeared dressed as a candy cane, she performed her ballet dance to Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. When she was dressed like an Elf, she tap danced to Jingle Bell Rock. For her final performance of the evening, when she was dressed in a pink Santa girl suit, she jazz danced to Sleigh Ride.
Michaela was pleased to see Colleen performing and having so much fun on stage. Unfortunately, she was a little less pleased when she heard and watched Matthew and Zachary hooting and hollering at a troupe of teenage girls who were giving a Rockette style performance to We Wish You a Merry Christmas. Since the boys each had a toddler sibling on their lap, they had the little ones going wild too.
Sully heard the boys to his right and then glanced at Michaela who was sitting to his left. When he saw her staring at them disapprovingly, he whispered in her ear, "Puberty has hit, Darlin'."
Michaela sighed, shook her head, and sat back in her seat. She crossed her arms like she was pouting. Sully's comment only meant that she should expect to see more of that behavior from the two boys.
"It's normal," Sully leaned over and murmured.
"I know it's normal," Michaela snapped, but in a low voice, causing Sully to laugh.
He reached over and started playing with her hair. She'd worn it down that night but had curled the ends. He didn't want to mess it up, he just loved touching it. He moved his hand up and let his fingers find her scalp through the long silky tresses. He gave her a light scalp massage at the base of her head, near her neck.
Michaela felt little shivers all over her body. They were in a public place again, so she couldn't give herself over to the sensations. She could covertly enjoy what he was making her feel at that moment, but she still wanted to find a way for them to be alone. Being alone with him, in general, was something she wanted more of, but wasn't sure how to make it happen.
Once the recital was over, the family of seven had to practically sprint to the car because the temperature outside had drastically dropped. It had been fifty degrees in the morning, but instead of warming up in the afternoon like it had for the last few days, the temperature dropped to thirty. Michaela was glad that she had thought to bring a warm outfit for Colleen to change into.
Sully had another surprise for Michaela, and he wasn't going to let the temperature drop stop his plans. Little did he know, his plans were something that Michaela wanted very much.
He drove to the church and parked in front of the hall. Then he pulled out his phone and sent a text message.
"It's only 4:30," Michaela said, a little confused, "The Christmas Party is from 7:00 to 10:00."
Sully rolled down the driver's side window and yelled, "Hey, Ma!" to Snowbird who had stepped outside of the church hall. She waved at them, and then Sully turned to Michaela and explained what was going on, "They need help decoratin' for the party. Ma is helpin' and has offered to find things for the kids to do."
"So, we're here to decorate?" she questioned indifferently.
"No, the kids are here to decorate with my mother," Sully made sure to clarify, "Now, you stay put by the heater and I will get them inside."
Michaela, though curious about what Sully had planned, waited patiently as Zachary, Matthew, and Colleen ran to Snowbird. Sully followed behind carrying Brian and Hanna in each arm. Michaela looked down at her hands and then placed them in front of the hot air of her heater. As she waited for her hands to warm, she watched as Sully ran back to the car.
"Miss me?" Sully flirted when he got back inside the vehicle and closed the door.
"I always do," Michaela flirted back and stuck her hands that had been warmed by the heater against his ice-cold cheeks, "You need to warm up, you're frozen." Then she removed one hand to turn the knobs on the dashboard of her Mercedes and turned the heat all the way up. After, she placed the hand back on his face.
He put his hands on top of hers while they were still on his cheeks. He brought her right hand to his lips and dropped a small kiss on her right palm. Then he brought her left hand to his nose and nuzzled it into her left palm.
"Your nose is like ice," Michaela complained with concern for him. Yet, the contrast of his cold nose and the scratchiness of his beard that he had let grow out since Thanksgiving, made her quiver with delight.
"Your hands are doin' a nice job helpin' me defrost," he quipped and then released her hands, and then he put his hands back on the steering wheel and pulled out of the church parking lot.
"Where are we going?" Michaela asked.
"Our exact location is a surprise," Sully stated with a flirty voice, "I thought we could use a date night. Not exactly a date night, but more like a date gloomy late afternoon and early evenin'."
Michaela giggled at his description, "You've been making plans, I see."
"I sure have," Sully said and continued to drive. Michaela looked out the window as they were driving and watched him return to his ranch.
"Our date is at your house?" she questioned but watched as he drove past his small bungalow and parked in the back of the large home that he used as a banquet hall. If she remembered correctly, the banquet hall was his childhood home, before his birth parents died.
"Not exactly in the house," Sully said coyly and then winked at her.
Once they were both out of her vehicle, they found each other and joined hands. Sully led her to the gated entry of the backyard.
"It's so cold out here," she commented as they walked through the gate.
"You won't be cold for too much longer," he promised, and led her to a flagstone porch.
In addition to the temperature drop, snow clouds had rolled in. It hadn't snowed yet, but by the looks of the clouds, snow could come at any time.
Although it wasn't even 5:00 yet, it was pretty dark out, and that was mostly due to the snow clouds. She had to focus and squint to see, but she could make-out that most of the yard was just dirt. It looked as though Sully had dug up everything that had been back there recently. She also saw an empty in-ground swimming pool in the yard.
"Are you planning to landscape? Michaela inquired as Sully walked them up all the way to the back sliding glass doors of the house.
"I'm gonna put sod down when we get closer to Spring," he said and then flipped on a switch that was on the wall next to the sliding glass doors. When he did that, a bunch of white Christmas lights turned on. That made a nearly eight-foot, flagstone dividing wall visible to Michaela, she hadn't even noticed it before.
Sully led her behind the dividing wall, and Michaela saw that there was a private in-ground hot tub that was secluded from the rest of the back yard. He let go of her hand and went in search of a hidden switch. When he found it and turned it on, the jets in the hot tub started up and a few bright lights under the water lit up. It instantly made the water bubbly and inviting. Then he turned around and smiled at Michaela.
Michaela smiled back. The warmth of the glowing hot tub combined with the white Christmas lights cascading down the dividing wall that now surrounded them, created a very romantic sight.
"Is this new?" Michaela asked. The rest of the backyard looked dated, but everything in front of her looked new.
"Oh gosh, no," Sully told her, "The hot tub is as old as the house, and just a couple weeks ago it looked like the swimmin' pool out there. I do maintenance work all over the ranch and not just in the most obvious spots. I like makin' sure everything is up to par. This has been my project for the past few weeks or so. I had to replace old parts, get it cleaned up, and now it's as good as new."
"You did a very nice job," Michaela complimented, and briefly imagined him doing little odd jobs around their home in the future.
"Thank you. I've been workin' on the bathroom back here too," Sully said and pointed to a nearby door that Michaela had assumed led to the house, "You can change your clothes in there and we can both use the shower to rinse the chlorine off before we go to the Christmas party. "
"Oh…Sully…" Michaela said, sounding worried, "This is all very romantic, but I didn't bring a swimsuit with me. I mean… well…why would I?"
Sully smiled at her, knowing she would say that.
"Not to worry, Darlin'." he told her with a smile and opened the door to the private bathroom. He retrieved a wrapped gift box and held it out to her, "Here's your second early Christmas present."
"You're spoiling me," Michaela said, but still accepted the box from him.
"I like spoilin' you," he remarked with a smirk.
Michaela carefully removed the paper and opened the box. Inside was a dark red bikini. She looked up at him and smiled shyly; wondering if their minds were somehow in sync. Just a few days ago, she'd been looking for something sexy to wear for him but wasn't ready to buy it. Now she received a gift from him that would reveal the same amount of skin when she put it on.
It wasn't just that. Today at the theater, she was hoping to find a way to be alone with him and now they were alone together, without her saying a word.
Bringing her out of her thoughts, he opened the door to the bathroom, and said, "Step in here and try it on. Oh, and I learned how ya think about certain things already. There are a couple of hair ties in there so you can put up all that beautiful hair."
Michaela smiled again and went inside the small bathroom to change into the swimsuit. She was nervous but was aching to get in the hot tub with him at the same time.
Once she was in the bathroom, Sully quickly stepped into the house and made his way to the kitchen area. He retrieved a bottle of Moscato D'Asti from the refrigerator and two champagne flutes that he'd put in the house before he'd left for her house that morning.
He placed everything on a tray that was already there to be used during banquets, and then walked the tray outside and set it down next to the hot tub. Afterward, he returned to the house, and quickly changed into his swim trunks that he had also stored there. Finally, he returned outside and waited for Michaela to finish getting changed, bringing two fluffy towels outside with him.
Michaela was just finishing putting her long hair up into a messy bun and then she looked herself over in the mirror. She instantly fell in love with the bikini that he gave her. It was sexy, but still gave her coverage where she wanted it. The top fit her like a wonderbra. It gave her support and lifted her breasts. The bottoms were a full brief and covered her entire backside. They were high waisted enough that she felt covered, but her belly button was still visible. What she couldn't get over, was the great fit. How did he get her size right?
When she emerged from the bathroom, Sully's eyes widened as he took in the lovely sight before him. Her figure made his mouth water. The saleswoman at the store where he bought the suit had told him that their bra style top was the best choice for a woman who had once nursed a baby. He didn't care if her body showed the effects of carrying and nursing a baby, but he wanted something that she would feel good in, so she'd want to wear it for him. He opted for the full brief, because she was somewhat modest, and he believed that she would feel the most comfortable if her bottom had full coverage.
"How did you know what size to get?" Michaela asked as she stepped toward him, "I know we haven't discussed it, and you didn't ask to take my body measurements when you measured my feet the other night."
She was pleased that while she was talking to him, that she too had something nice to look at. She'd seen him change his shirt before, but she'd never gotten a good look at him without his shirt on. She loved the look of his very manly torso. He was muscular and firm, rather hairy, and very sexy.
"You remember when you fell down in the mud?" Sully questioned, reminding her of that embarrassing day, "And I washed your laundry?"
"Yes," she said.
"I may have looked at the tags of your clothing and underwear to figure out your sizes," Sully admitted, "I wasn't tryin' to pry. I simply thought those numbers would come in handy, and I think I was right." Her swimsuit fit nicely, and he could tell she felt good in it.
"I love the bathing suit," she said honestly.
"It looks great on ya," he said from his heart.
"Thank you," she replied.
"So, do ya want to get in the water with me?" he asked, and held out his hand.
"Yes," she answered, and took his hand and allowed him to guide her to the hot tub steps.
She got in first, and sat down, and then he got in and sat beside her.
"The water is nice," she told him.
"I think so too, and I thought it would be nice to share a bottle of sparklin' wine," he told her, directing her attention to the bottle and flutes that he'd already placed outside, "Maybe not the whole bottle, but a glass?"
"That would be nice," she agreed.
Sully reached over and opened the bottle, smiled as Michaela cheered when he popped the cork, and then he poured them both a glass. He handed her one and said, "Here's to a great Christmas, our wonderful kids, and our new relationship. May it blossom into something more. Cheers."
"Cheers," Michaela echoed. Then they clinked their glasses and sipped the wine.
As they relaxed in the hot tub and sat the glasses of wine aside, Sully scooted closer to Michaela and put his arm around her. He was rewarded with her laying her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his waist. He gently rubbed the arm that was resting on his abdomen under the hot water.
"Thank you for bringing me here tonight," Michaela said as she held on to him. She was happy to be there, being alone with him was what she'd been wanting, but now, she couldn't help her nerves.
"My pleasure," Sully said, moving his hand from her arm to her knee, and then he rubbed up her leg to her inner thigh. He felt her shudder which told him that her body was reacting positively to his touch, but then she pulled away. "What's the matter?" he asked, feeling disappointed that she pulled away from him.
"Nothing," Michaela said with a sigh.
"Come on," Sully pleaded, "Tell me what's wrong." She remained silent and, in an effort to lighten the mood, he asked, "Does my breath stink?"
"What? No!" Michaela practically yelled.
"I can go brush my teeth," he said, smiling at her, not caring in the least that he had made himself the butt of his own joke. He just wanted her to calm down and then open up to him.
Michaela smiled back and shook her head, "Alright, I'll tell you. I feel like I know where this relationship is going. I'm happy about it, I want our relationship to go there, but now I'm nervous…"
Sully looked at her and nodded and held his arms open, inviting her to come back and he asked, "You wanna sit on my lap, and then be more specific?"
Michaela exhaled anxiously. She complied with his request and sat on his lap, and then she put her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes. This nervousness was silly, she thought. She's a grown woman and she needed to have an open and honest talk with him, "I'm talking about sex, Sully."
"Okay…" he said and paused as if he was waiting for her to continue. He held her close by putting an arm around her and placing his hand on her waist, and then he rested the opposite hand on her outer thigh.
"Have you thought about it?" she questioned.
"Sex?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered.
"Sure, I have," Sully admitted freely, "I've thought about that since we met."
"So that's something that you want?" Michaela questioned, though she could have guessed the answer.
"Yes, of course," Sully answered openly, "I ain't gonna deny it. I didn't think that was where we were headed tonight though. I was just hopin' for a little pettin' and some kissin'."
"Is the pace of this relationship okay with you?" Michaela asked, simply wanting to know that they were on the same page.
"Darlin', I'm fine with whatever makes you feel comfortable," Sully said truthfully, "Our relationship, as it is, is givin' me everything that I want and need. But… I do feel like I should be honest and say, if you were ready to… ya know… go further… I'm ready for that. I know we just started datin', but we haven't just met, and I would love to go to the next level with you. I ain't about to push it though."
"Okay," she said hesitantly.
"What's your worry? If ya don't mind me askin'?" Sully questioned, "We're both adults, who've been married before and have kids. Do ya wanna date a little longer to make sure you feel committed?"
"The only person that I've ever been with is my ex-husband," Michaela confided to him, "It wasn't the best experience as far as I was concerned."
"What do ya mean by that?" he said, inviting her to open up to him.
"We weren't dating when we did it the first time," she explained, "The experience was all bad to me, and after we had sex, we had to get married because I got pregnant with Colleen."
"I see," Sully said with a nod, "It was all bad? You mean emotionally?"
"Emotionally and physically," she clarified.
"What made ya do it with him?" he questioned inquisitively, "I know you ain't the type that sleeps around."
"I lost three people that I loved in one week, and one of them was the man that I was going to marry," Michaela informed him. She felt like this was information she should have shared with Sully already, but she hadn't, "Ethan was married to one of the people that I lost, my best friend actually. I still don't know what I was thinking. It was such a dark time. It wasn't exactly how I imagined losing my virginity."
"You were numb, lonely, depressed, and you just wanted some kind of comfort," Sully spoke as if he was an expert on the subject, and when he saw the truly astonished look on her face, he added, "Good guess, huh?"
"Yes," Michaela answered. She wasn't expecting him to understand without her having to fully explain it. She felt like she explained it over and over again, at length, to her mother, to her sisters, and her feelings still never got through, "How did you know that?"
"I lost my virginity for the same reasons," Sully explained, "I was sixteen, and I had a girlfriend, but I was content with holdin' hands and kissin'. I wasn't lookin' to become a man, so to speak. That doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy some alone time with my right hand–"
"You're right hand?" Michaela questioned.
Sully grinned and said, "You know. That thing a young man might start doin' when puberty hits…" When she still didn't get it, he made a hand gesture to symbolize his meaning.
"Oh," Michaela said and closed her eyes as the realization hit her. She slowly opened her eyes and saw him smirking at her.
"Matthew is at that age," Sully warned, with a laugh, "So is Zac. We already saw some evidence of it today at the theater."
"What do I do about it?" Michaela asked.
"Nothin'," Sully said, "It's completely normal and natural. Just be on the lookout that he might start takin' too long in the shower, and you might notice some extra socks in the wash."
Michaela groaned, making a face that signaled that she was grossed out and not ready to even think about Matthew doing anything like that.
"Goin' back," Sully continued and moved his foot so he could feel the water from the hot tub jets between his toes, "I lost half my family when I was ten. Then I got a new family and lost half of them when I was sixteen. I was reachin' for somethin'. You remember when I told ya about that night that I got a little tipsy with Jake?"
"Yes," she answered with a nod.
"My girlfriend, Natalie, got tipsy too," he remembered, "and we went into the other room and consummated our relationship."
"How drunk were you?" Michaela asked.
"Drunk enough to feel a buzz, but not so drunk that I couldn't perform," he explained, "At the time, it felt good to get my mind off of the loneliness, the loss. Afterwards, I felt empty again. That's why I don't like drinkin' so much now. I'm not opposed to havin' a glass of wine to celebrate a special occasion like tonight, but It's not somethin' I do all the time.
"What got you through it, the loneliness, the emptiness?" Michaela asked, "For me, it was being a mother."
"Time," Sully said, "As time went by, it got easier."
"How long were you and Natalie together after?" Michaela asked out of curiosity.
"We stayed together until we graduated," Sully informed her, "We broke up because she went out-of-town to school. We're still Facebook friends. She's married now, and I think she's expectin' her second baby."
"Did you date anyone else after?" Michaela inquired, "I hope it's okay to ask."
"Sure," Sully replied, "I dated a woman named Jean for about five years. I met her when I was 19. We took a business course together. I almost married her, but we wanted different things, and we split up. She lives in town, and I run into her every now and then. We're on good terms. After that, I met Abagail."
He'd been with three women before her, Michaela thought. She liked that he was on good terms with both of his ex-girlfriends. That meant that he wasn't a jerk.
"How about you?" Sully questioned, "You have an ex-husband, and a fiancé before that…"
"That's it," Michaela said, "I met David when I was a pre-med, undergrad, and he was in residency. He also worked part time at the college to make extra money. He was one of my mentors, and then it turned into a romance, and then eventually, it led to a marriage proposal. We were planning our wedding, then he died, just like that."
"I know how that is," Sully sighed.
"I dated him, and then was engaged to him, but we never had sex," Michaela explained, "My ex-husband is the only man I've been with. Wait..." Michaela inhaled and exhaled, "I already said that..." This wasn't easy for her to talk about.
"It's alright," Sully said with a nod. He liked that she was opening up to him and wanted her to keep going.
"I knew Ethan for a few years," she continued, "As I said before, he was married to my best friend, Charlotte. She was a nurse at the hospital where my father worked. She was several years older than I was, but we clicked and became good friends. I already told you how Ethan and I got together, but… after that, we were married for six years. Then we got divorced, and I moved here with the children."
"Is Charlotte Matthew's birth mother?" Sully asked.
"Yes," she answered.
"Do you feel guilty about sleepin' with Ethan because of your friendship with Charlotte?" he questioned, though he could've guessed her answer.
"Charlotte wanted to divorce him," Michaela replied, "When I remind myself of that, it helps... sometimes. Other times, I replay that night over in my head and think of what I should have done instead. Then I think, if I hadn't slept with him, then I wouldn't have my three children. They outweigh the guilt...but...it's still hard to forgive myself."
"The children are the most important thing in this, Darlin'," he said and placed a small kiss on the end of her chin, "I'm not sayin' that ya did everything right, but I would like ya to find a way to forgive yourself for bein' human. And Sweetheart, your friend is gone. The best thing you can do for her is make sure her son is cared for, and you've definitely done that."
"I've never thought of it that way before," she confessed, "Thank you for giving me something new to think about."
"You're welcome," Sully said, dropping a kiss on her neck, "Let me ask ya this. You were married to the guy for six years. Was it always bad?"
Michaela considered his question. She remembered back to her therapy session, when she was still living in Boston, and Dr. Cassidy asked her a similar question. She really didn't care what Dr. Cassidy thought, but she did care very much about what Sully thought. She wanted to tell him the truth.
"He was good to me when I was pregnant, both times," Michaela said, "Good to the point, that I thought that even though I wasn't in love with him, it was still possible to make our marriage work. Another time that he was good, was when I told him that I was pregnant with Colleen. He accepted my word and didn't even question it. I still don't know why. There was no reason for him to question it, but I never asked him why."
"If I can tell that you ain't the type that sleeps around," Sully said, "Then I'm sure he can tell that too. What about the sex itself? Was that always bad?"
"It wasn't really good or bad," Michaela answered with a shrug, "It was something that I agreed to every now and then."
"That sounds awful," Sully commented, almost as an involuntary reaction, earning a laugh and nod of agreement from Michaela. He was fortunate enough to say that he had never considered his sex life, when he had one, to be that…sad, "That's why you're so nervous."
"My experience doesn't help matters, but sex is something that I have always been shy about," Michaela informed him, "I've gotten to the point that I no longer imagine my mother looking at me disapprovingly when I think about it."
"It's a naturally awkward thing, I think," Sully said, "That is, until you start doin' it with your partner. Are you afraid of it bein' bad with me?"
"No," Michaela answered and then closed her eyes and looked down, "You make my entire body tingle, Sully. As I sit here talking to you, I can honestly say that I've never had such lustful feelings for a man before."
Oh… those words made him want to do somersaults, "That sounds like a good thing to me."
She kept her head down, feeling very uneasy about what she had just told him. The next thing she felt was Sully's hand come off of her thigh and up to her face. His wet hand moistened her cheek as he caressed the side of her face and moved his fingers to her chin. He guided her chin up so she would look at him.
"There's no need to feel embarrassed about tingles and lust. Whatever you're feelin', I'm feelin' it too," he confessed, "When ya look at me, touch me, kiss me…what ya did to my ears the other night… Believe me, I feel it too. You're the match that lights me up."
They sat silently in the bubbling hot tub for a few minutes. Both of them took in what they confessed to each other. They also took in what the other person had confessed to them.
Sully was the first to break the silence. She'd bared her soul to him, and he wanted to do the same for her, "Do ya know what I told Daniel the other day? Before you came out and got between us?"
"What?" she questioned.
"I told him that I was mad at him for trying to seduce the woman that…" Sully started to say but then paused. Now it was his turn to get nervous. He had to push himself to be brave. The chances are if he was brave, she would continue to be too.
"That?" Michaela questioned.
"That... I love," Sully said and then exhaled loudly.
Michaela made sure that she was making eye contact with him, "What?" she questioned.
"I love you," Sully told her honestly and with a full heart, looking straight into her eyes, "You are the woman that I love. I think that I'm lustin' for ya so much because I'm in love with you. I think it doesn't scare me as much as it does you, because I can recognize my feelings. This is different from what I've felt before, it feels so much stronger, but I still know what I'm feelin'. Based on what you've told me, I don't think you've ever felt anything like this before, and maybe it scares you. I don't want ya to be afraid or nervous. You're with someone that loves you now. "
Michaela couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was like he saw into her soul. Never before had she had anyone in her life, not just a man, but anyone who understood her so completely, "Oh, Sully, I love you too."
To be continued. Please Review =)
I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story. Thank you for all of the reviews.
The sex talk happened. I hope I got it right.
To my guest reviewer: The significance of their birth years was that 1988 and 1989 makes them seem so much younger than they were on the show. Both characters were in their early to mid-thirties. Michaela turned 35 during the first season, which means to me that she started the series at age 34. According to sources that I googled, some say Sully was 32 and some say he was 33 when the show originally started. It's just shocking to see that the years of 1988 and 1989 are already over 30 years ago now.