A/N: Hiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!! :D:D Yes, I'm BACK! Along with Slavemaster Meg, who demands to be acknowledged. Yes, there you go, dear.

Disclaimer: Bah.

Don't forget the wacky quotes! ;) Ta-ta, darlings.

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The ball was in two hour's time.

Ever since classes had been let out, the DADA professors had been working on Harry, Elendil occasionally throwing out suggestions and telling them ways in which they could improve the costume while never actually getting up or lifting a hand to help. Harry had makeup put on him such as eye enhancements and a cream to make his skin glow faintly. (Brightflame, or as she made him call her, Fiora, applied this. While she scrubbed it onto his hands, arms, face and neck, she pointed out how grumpy he looked. He replied that it was because she was pinching him. At this, she elapsed into a fit of the giggles.)

One thing that took up a lot of time was Harry's vision.

"Elves do not wear glasses," stated Blackstorm as they discussed what to do about it. "They just don't. All Elves have more-than-perfect vision. That is that."

"But I've seen elves with glasses before –"

"Must I remind you again, Harry, that we are not making you a house-elf? You are going as an Elf. Capital 'e'. They are tall, beautiful, powerful, and have perfect vision."

"But –"

"Harry, Harry, Harry ... just let us do the work. Now, we do need to get rid of those glasses," said Moonshine. "Aha! I've got it – the Optemetrium Charm should do it."

"The opty-what?"

"The Optemetrium Charm. It's a spell that corrects less-than-perfect vision," said Moonshine. Harry raised his eyebrows.

"How come I haven't ever heard of it before?" he asked, thinking about how much of a bother glasses were.

"It's not very well known, not many people use it."

"Why not?"

"There are a couple of reasons," Moonshine said, starting to rattle them off without taking a breath. "First of all, it's a very complicated spell that only certain wizards or witches can perform. It also takes some time to prepare and of course there are the side effects that in the worst cases do include colour-blindness, temporary blindness, permanent blindness, and stinging. Then there's the fact that the spell is almost impossible to perform absolutely perfectly, seeing as – hehehe, seeing, get it? – if there is not the exact amount of certain ingredients and if the incantation is not pronounced as clearly and correctly as is humanly possible it will not last. You see, the spell works quite unusually."

"Wait, wait, wait – there's the possibility that I could go blind?"

Moonshine smiled. "Only if I mess up."

Harry stared and blinked once. All three professors laughed – this didn't reassure him much, although he really wanted to learn the spell. "Okay, okay, so ... what are the ingredients? Is it a potion?"

"No, you just need them present for the incantation. Like I said, it's very complex. Anyway, we've already got them all together and taken the necessary precautions to ensure that –"

"Erm, why are precautions needed?"

"Harry," said Blackstorm, putting a hand on his shoulder, "we're professors of Defense Against the Dark Arts, as I'm sure you're aware. We know what we're doing." Harry nodded and swallowed slightly. Moonshine continued.

"The necessary precautions to ensure no damage will be done to your eyes. Now, please remove your glasses and stand there." She pointed to a small "x" marked in Spellotape on the floor in the middle of the office. There was a small ring of little bits of herbs in different small bowls around him, and he took care not to step on them as he did what he was told. "The plants you see there are for cleanliness. They're to make sure your eyes stay clean through the procedure. We haven't touched them with our hands at all, because after all these are your eyes we're dealing with here, and we don't want skin residue getting in your eyes, do we? No, we don't. Now, whatever you do, please keep your eyes open wide, Harry. And hold quite still. I don't want to miss. One, two, three."

Moonshine lifted her wand – which had appeared into her hand out of absolutely nowhere – and spoke the incantation, the tip of the wand pointing straight at Harry's eyes. "Optemetria reparo incantatem vistium iristo corneus retinus maximus!"

Harry's vision was suddenly filled with a blindingly bright white light, and although his eyes watered, he resisted the urge to blink. Then his vision cleared, everything came into focus, and he discovered that he could see.

Harry stared around the room in wonderment. This had to be abnormal. He hadn't gotten his prescription changed in years, and he'd just gotten used to the slight blurriness of the world. Now he could see every individual sharp corner on every leaf in Moonshine's area of the room; he could see every thread in Blackstorm's wall hangings; and every bubble in the wax of Brightflame's candles. When he looked back bewilderedly at Moonshine, she grinned at him. "Make a difference?"

"A difference? I can bloody see everything!" Harry cried, a grin of his own spreading onto his face. "The leaves – even the little tiny, curvy lines in those curtains – I can practically count every freckle on your face, Professor Brightflame!"

"Isn't clear vision great? Call me Fiora. I don't have freckles!" said Brightflame, sounding like she said it all in once sentence. Moonshine lifted an eyebrow.

"You can count her freckles from six feet away?" both she and Brightflame rounded on Blackstorm who smiled innocently (or as innocently as she could). "Kira!" scolded Moonshine. "Did you let me put it on too strongly?!"

"What? He's supposed to be an Elf, right? Elves have perfect vision ..."

"He can count her freckles!"

"Elves do have better-than-perfect vision, you know."

"Kira!" growled Moonshine, and then rolled her eyes, exhaling in frustration. "Fine. Harry," she said, turning to him, "you'll have Elf vision for as long as the spell lasts. The length of the spell is undeterminable, another reason why it's not commonly used. And most wizards or witches just like glasses. So, enjoy your seeing-aide-free hours slash days while they last. Now for your ears."

"My – my ears?"

"Yes, of course your ears. Elves have pointy ears, didn't you guess? We have a spell to make your ears grow Elflike."

"Do you have a spell for everything?"

"Pretty much."

Harry found Moonshine reminding him of Hermione, and he laughed to himself as the three professors swooped down on him again and readied him for the spell. He put his glasses in his bag. After they'd done it, Brightflame whipped out a mirror and let Harry look at himself in it. He felt the tips of his ears in wonder, amused by how pointy they were.

Suddenly, there was knocking on the door to the DADA room. The three professors glanced at each other, nodded, and went into action. Moonshine and Blackstorm picked Harry up by his arms and swiftly carried him across the room while Brightflame went to answer the door. They magically opened a door that Harry hadn't noticed before and dumped him unceremoniously into the closet behind it. He stumbled into brooms and mops and such things, and went momentarily blind as they shut the door (there was no light in the room) but after a second, his eyes adjusted to the dark.

He could see surprisingly well. He supposed that must have been the Elf vision working for him. Putting the strangeness of his new ability aside, he tried to open the door, but the handle wouldn't turn. Probably locked. He decided it was most likely for his own good, but pressed his ear – pointy! pointy! – up against it anyway.

He heard muffled voices that he could identify as the three professors talking to another voice – female also, but he couldn't tell exactly who – and he could catch parts of words every once in a while.

"My – air – tin – only – got – way – aim – so – need?" said someone who sounded like Moonshine (for example).

After a few minutes, Harry sat down on the floor of the closet, looking around at things and just staring at them with his spectacular vision while fingering his now-pointy ears.

"Can't – knee – out – else's – tombs – no – hat."

"Here – us – elp."

"Black – lee – irks – tomb – knee."

"Guys – er – ing – ild!"

"Ore – ert – sh – ee – orter."

Harry examined the door and found a small crack at the bottom, through which he could hear their conversation more clearly. He laid his head sideways against the crack and listened. He immediately identified Hermione from her voice as the other person in the room outside.

"I don't know, Professors, the top looks see-through to me."

Harry's eyes widened in horror – this was Hermione, after all – and he threw himself away from the door, scrambling backwards, and hit the back of the closet with a bang, sending brooms and mops clattering down all around him and making a terrific noise. When the last mop fell down and everything else went quiet, he heard the four outside burst out into laughter. He flushed very red and felt his ears and collar heat up quite a bit. This was definitely not going the way he wanted it to.

Unexpectedly, the door to the closet cracked marginally open, not enough to let him see the room, but enough for Professor Moonshine to poke her head in, a gigantic grin spread wide on her pretty face.

"Eavesdropping, are we?" she asked, her voice strangled with suppressed laughter. Harry felt himself turn an even darker red, and mumbled something incoherent. This, of course, only made the professor fail in her attempt not to laugh. "Well, quit it! We're working with Hermione on her costume, and it's very strictly a surprise, so stop trying to listen in because you might not want to hear it –" she winked "– and don't come out either, because she'll probably murder you. Okay?"

All this was said in a very cheerful tone, which didn't stop Harry from trying to cover his face with his hair by pushing it down over his eyes. He nodded barely perceptibly, but she evidently caught the movement, because she withdrew her head from the crack in the door and shut it again, leaving him in the dark. Having learned his lesson now, he stayed put (firmly pressed against the back wall).

About a half hour later, Harry was bored out of his mind, and was actually twiddling his thumbs when the door abruptly opened all the way. The sudden light hurt, and he had to shut his eyes for a moment or two.

"Oh – right, sorry," chirped Professor Brightflame, and shut the door again. Harry squinted this time, and she opened it slowly. "You can come out now," she said unnecessarily. "She's gone. You're gonna just die when you see her costume, Harry! It's all black and cool and –"

Moonshine was suddenly at her side and clamping a hand over Brightflame's mouth, chuckling. "Anyway, you'll see it at the ball. Now hurry up, we only have an hour and a half left to get you ready, and who knows what other distractions will come up?"

"All we have to do is get him ears and clothes," remarked Blackstorm from her turtleshell chair across the room from the closet. Moonshine rolled her eyes.

"Yes, but that could take time."

"An hour and a half for ears and robes?" was the retort.

"Like I said, further complications could interrupt, like another Hermione coming in needing help with their costume too."

"Has Hermione been cloned?" asked Brightflame, her voice muffled by Moonshine's hand. What she actually said came out more like, "Aw my knee kwo?"

Both other professors rolled their eyes and Moonshine shook her head. "No. Anyway, whatever, something could come up. So let's get started!"

And they did.

Moonshine, obviously being the one who knew the most spells or could perform them the most accurately (or else she just liked to cast spells), executed a charm that just slightly lengthened and thickened Harry's eyelashes, making them look quite Elf-like. Then Blackstorm muttered something and flicked her own wand (which Harry hadn't ever seen her use before – it was made of a dark-coloured wood and long) at him. He felt something pointy pressing all around the rims of his eyes although nothing was there, and then it stopped. All three professors grinned.

"Nice work," commented Brightflame, winking at Blackstorm, who shrugged. Brightflame pointed Harry towards the mirror hanging overtop of the fireplace, and he walked over to it curiously. His eyes widened when he saw himself, and he emitted a small yelp.

"Oh, come on! Eyeliner?" he exclaimed. "Is that really necessary?"

"It's not eyeliner," grumbled Blackstorm. "It's an Elven thing. And it brings more attention to your eyes."

"What Elf ever wore eyeliner?!" he demanded. All three laughed again.

"It's not eyeliner. And a lot of Elves do."

"Now, time for the grand unveiling! Your robes are in the closet, actually," Moonshine announced with a smile. Harry crossed the room and opened the door, looking inside with the aid of light for a change. He didn't see anything besides some old cloaks, mops, and brooms.

"Uh..."

"Oh, they're behind the other stuff," remembered Brightflame, putting up a finger. Harry pushed aside the cloaks to reach past them, and immediately felt a soft material far back in the closet. On instinct, he pulled it out to look. What was revealed in his hands was different than he'd imagined.

All three professors beamed as he stared at the robes in admiring wonder. "Put them on, put them on!" squealed Brightflame eagerly. Harry turned and lifted an eyebrow at them uncertainly.

"Er, with you all watching?"

They burst into laughter again. "No, sorry, of course not," amended Moonshine. Harry felt a sense of relief and waited for them to leave. "You can change in the closet."

Oh. Well, fine then.

Harry nodded and started to go inside when there was another knock on the door to the office. All three professors exhaled sharply in frustration.

"Ugh! Who is it this time?!" growled Blackstorm, unhappy at being interrupted again. Moonshine threw up her hands and glanced at Harry apologetically, then shoved him back into the closet – robes in hand – and shut the door behind him.

"It'll all pay off later, I promise!" she called from outside. "Just get dressed while you're in there, okay?"

"Okay," Harry agreed, and took his wand out of his pocket. "Lumos." He rested the want on the floor and propped it up on a broomstick so that it pointed upwards to light the whole space. He picked up all the other fallen mops and leaned them against the far wall, then pushed all the cloaks back as well. He proceeded to change into the phenomenal robes that the three professors had made for him. He slipped off his black school ones and his shirt, leaving them in a pile on the floor. He put on the long-sleeved tunic made of among the softest material he'd ever felt, still in awe of the quality it possessed.

Once he had finished dressing completely, Harry decided that he had to know who was out there, so he pressed his ear to the wood of the door. Snape's voice greeted him.

"No, I really don't want to!" he was saying rather forcefully. Harry frowned in confusion and picked his wand up off the floor, wondering what was going on outside. He hesitated, thinking, Should I peek, or should I just mind my own business?

Without a second thought, he pointed his wand at the door and whispered, "Miragio." The door melted away, and he could see everything. He poked towards the now-empty space and felt wood where there was none. The spell had been effective – he could just see through the door, it was still there, and the others couldn't see him. Harry grinned and leaned back against the wall of the closet to watch.

"Severus, you can't tell us that you're actually not planning to attend the ball," Moonshine was protesting. "I mean, think of the opportunities you're declining by not going!"

"You could hook up with one of the professors and if you don't go, that won't happen!" suggested Brightflame. Snape turned red. Blackstorm and Moonshine lifted their eyebrows skeptically in unison at their friend, who after a minute realized what she had implied. "Oh – not us, I mean. I mean, I'm not saying we wouldn't, but we wouldn't, you know? Or maybe we would, I want to try that Firewhisky stuff. But I'm not saying we need to drink to want you or anything. Not saying that we want you, because we don't. I mean no offense, but like –"

Moonshine clapped a hand over Brightflame's mouth before any more damage was done, and glanced apologetically at Snape, who had turned redder with every comment the enthusiastic professor had made. Blackstorm just closed her eyes and whacked her over the head.

Harry, in the closet, was in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"So yeah, anyway, if what you're looking for is a costume, we can get you one. What kind of thing do you have in mind?" asked Blackstorm.

"I told you, I don't want anything, I just came to ask you if you had any Creeping Elastices. I need them for my next three lessons."

"Look, today's Halloween. It's like our day! You can't just not go to a Halloween ball!" chirped Brightflame when Moonshine removed her hand. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

Snape sneered. "I don't do fun."

All three professors shook their heads in disapproval. "Nobody doesn't do fun," stated Blackstorm flatly. "Even I do. Sometimes. And Halloween is a day for fun. So everybody has to do it. Even me. And if I have to, you have to. So let's go. What costume do you want?"

"I don't –"

"No, forget what you want. We're cleaning you up. That'll be the best disguise of all," she announced, and the other two nodded in agreement. "Ladies, let's get to work. Hair first!"

Harry was incredibly intrigued, and eager to see what they would do to the hated Potions professor.

It took them a while longer to persuade him, but eventually they did get Snape to calm down enough so that they could conjure a barrel of water and dunk his head in it. Moonshine conjured cleaning supplies, and the three went to work.

Having nothing much better to do but admire his robes and watch Snape be beautified, Harry was really quite bored forty-five minutes later when the three women backed off and let Snape cautiously approach the mirror, which happened to be near the closet, giving Harry a fine firsthand look at his Potions professor – or what he assumed must be his Potions professor underneath somewhere. Snape seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

His eyes grew wide and he warily prodded his own face as an expression of horror came over him. "Is that ... me?" he whispered. The three women nodded, beaming.

"Isn't it perfect?" said Brightflame cheerfully. "You're a shoo-in to win the contest now!"

"I'm ... a what ... ?"

"Oh, nevermind," Blackstorm waved her hand impatiently. "Anyway, don't touch anything at all, we worked hard to get you where you are, understand?!"

"Ye... yes, all right ..." Snape said vaguely, still staring dazedly at himself in the mirror.

"Good. Now out you go, and don't forget to come to the ball when it starts. I'll bet they put you on sentry duty anyway," said Moonshine.

"Sentry duty?"

"You know, monitoring the students at the ball. Whatever. Anyway, shoo, and don't mess yourself up!" she called after him as Brightflame led him out of the office and shut the door behind him. All three laughed for a while after he'd gone, and then Moonshine crossed over to the closet door. Harry fumbled quickly for his wand, still overcome by silent repressed laughter.

"Opaqua!" he muttered under his breath, and the door melted back into place just as it swung open. The professor gasped when she saw him.

"Goddess, you make a damn good Elf!" she said in awed appreciation, looking him up and down. "C'mere, guys, would you just look at him?"

Blackstorm and Brightflame hurried forward and Moonshine drew Harry out of the closet into better lighting to see the full effect that the ears, eyes, and robes gave him all together. The other two were just as impressed as Moonshine. "Well, we certainly know to congratulate ourselves," said Brightflame, nodding to herself.

Blackstorm looked smug. "I told you he'd make a good Elf."

"Yes, we know, Kira," Moonshine rolled her eyes and winked at Harry, who felt his ears burn. "You'll need just a little makeup, but otherwise, you're pretty well ready. Which is good, seeing as you only have half an hour until you should get going."

Harry glanced at a clock on the wall beside the fireplace. "Uh, shouldn't it be starting about now?"

"Well, yes, but you can't go right when it starts, silly, you'll look like a dork!" said Brightflame knowingly. "You have to make an entrance. We're all about entrances."

"I noticed," Harry muttered, and the three professors grinned. "Anyway, what do I need makeup for? Haven't I got enough on yet?"

"Not nearly enough! We have to give you Elf markings," commanded Blackstorm, and the other two nodded.

"Markings?"

"Yes, markings," Blackstorm said impatiently. "Sit down." She pushed Harry backwards and he fell into a chair that had not been there a moment before.

They started applying all sorts of things to his face so that he had no idea what was gong on for a while, with what looked like pencils and markers – and was that lipstick on his forehead? – until what seemed liked forever, they'd finished. He had restrained himself from complaining, instead focusing on what he thought he might look like afterwards.

When they'd finally finished, they stepped back to admire their work, and all three nodded in satisfaction. They motioned Harry over to the mirror again, and he had to stare. That wasn't really him, was it? He had a vague feeling of what Snape might have felt however long it was ago.

He looked like an Elf.

But nothing like any house-elf; he looked like an Elf. Capital E, no house. He looked taller, stood a little straighter, felt a vague air of regality about himself somehow. He didn't know how to describe the good feeling, other than simply ... well, Elflike.

The professors beamed proudly. "You're ready now," said Blackstorm approvingly.

"Go get 'em, tiger!" squealed Brightflame, earning herself two pair of rolling eyes.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Don't hang around here, you're done now, and you don't want to wait too long to make your entrance or people won't pay attention, so go!" said Moonshine matter-of-factly, and they all shooed Harry out the door, Elflike and all. It was six-thirty. The ball was half an hour underway.

It was time.

Harry made his way alone down to the Great Hall, took a deep breath, adjusted his robes, and pushed open the doors.