The lab mouse was back in its cage.
Ryu smiled humorlessly at that analogy because it was so right. He was Enma's lab mouse, someone to be used, someone who had a function, but freedom was... not for him.
They had tried.
It hadn't worked.
He should have known, he thought darkly. He should have remembered Tsuzuki's reaction to the Palace and its illusions. But in his happiness to gain what he had always thought unattainable and out of his reach he had forgotten.
A strong presence joined him, hands coming to rest on his shoulders and slowly sliding down his arms. He had his arms wrapped around his upper body, as if he was cold, and somehow he was.
Failure.
Enma was probably laughing right now.
"Ryu?"
The gentle voice was like honey, smooth and rich and so... tender. Ryu leaned back against his lover, cursing himself for being so weak, hating himself for needing this one being so much. He had never needed anyone in two thousand years. Sure, he had wanted - but that was something else. He had desired Tsuzuki, desired the unattainable. It had never been real; there had never been a whisper of a chance.
He had never yearned for a human touch like this.
"Are you okay?"
He gave a little broken laugh. "Me? You're asking the wrong person, Rikugo."
"No, not at all. Are you okay?"
He bit his lower lip. "Yes," he finally lied softly.
Strong arms came around him and Rikugo rested his head against his shoulder.
"Don't lie to me."
"What do you want me to say?" he whispered. "That everything failed? Well, it failed! I'm back here!"
But he had had a few hours away from this place. It had to be enough. He would feed off that experience for the decades to come, maybe even centuries. Maybe even eternity.
He swallowed hard.
"It was the first time for you and for Tsuzuki. Something was bound to happen. Next time..."
"There won't be a next time!" he snarled and tore out of the embrace, whirling around to face the blond.
"Ryu..."
"No! This is it. This is all I could get and I'm thankful for it, but there won't be another failure!"
"Then Tsuzuki's deal was for nothing."
At the quietly stated words, the red eyes flared. "He shouldn't have made it in the first place! Not without asking me!"
"Tsuzuki cares about you."
"He's an idiot," Ryu hissed harshly.
Rikugo's dark eyes were calm pools of acceptance. "Because he cares?"
The master of the Palace swallowed hard. "Because he sets himself up for failure again and again. And I'm an idiot because I was swept away in that set-up. I wanted this so much, Rikugo... I wanted to be able to go out with you, but it all failed. It failed because... because I'm weak and Tsuzuki... is Tsuzuki. He was an idiot... so stupid... to think that he could last in here for two days. So stupid..." His voice trailed off and his shoulders slumped.
The astrologer approached him again, reaching out carefully, and when Ryu didn't make any moves, he wrapped his arms around the slender figure.
"You couldn't have stopped him even if you had wanted to."
He laughed weakly. "True."
They stood together for a long time, silent, Rikugo just holding his lover, and Ryu had his eyes closed, trying to ignore his thoughts.
But he couldn't.
Everything had failed.
°
That night their encounter was demanding and... rough. Rikugo looked down on the nude form of his lover, took in the expression of need, the shadows dancing in those inhuman eyes, and captured the swollen lips in another hard kiss. There was nothing gentle about their encounter, led by Ryu whose hands had tugged off the offending clothes. The demon had quite clearly shown him what he needed, and it wasn't the gentle loving of many times.
Pushing the man against the nearest wall, kissing him senseless, then almost throwing him onto the bed, Rikugo knew what this was about.
He wanted to forget.
Needed to forget.
And Rikugo had played along, nipping and licking and biting, leaving marks on the perfect skin, feeling the lithe form shudder, felt him respond quickly and with abandon. Ryu had radiated what he wanted and Rikugo had let himself get swept away by its force. The soft growls coming from his lover had stoked a fire inside Rikugo that the shikigami couldn't fight after a while.
"You want me," Ryu had whispered, voice deep and dark and full of promise. "Take me. I want you. Take me..."
It had been like a siren's call, worming itself under Rikugo's skin, shattering control.
"Be careful what you wish for," he had whispered.
"I no longer care," had been the rough reply. "Make me scream."
They had communicated on two levels, but caught up in the heat and the friction, Rikugo had had no time to think about it.
There had been little foreplay, just the furious kissing and fumbling, then he had pushed himself inside his lover, the body in his arms arching toward him with a rough cry.
Rikugo had given in to what was needed; he had taken his pleasure in turn. Twice. Until the ancient being lay limp and barely conscious beside him, whispering words that were too soft to understand, but he heard the tone of voice.
So sad.
So abysmally sad.
Red eyes were closed, the handsome face pale and glistening with sweat, and Rikugo's marks shone on his perfect body. Just like Ryu's were on the shikigami's.
He had stayed with him, all eyes wide open, scanning, Seeing, and cursing softly in his mind. So much damage, so many scars and still bleeding wounds, and some of them had just started to heal when the failed experiment had torn them open once more.
Stroking over the black hair, Rikugo let some of his energy seep into the exhausted soul, sliding over the ragged surfaces like a balm.
°
Ryu woke the morning after, blinking into the sun light streaming in through the open window, tasting the fresh air, and a little shiver ran over his skin. Rikugo was there, watching him, the black eyes filled with emotions the demon didn't want to ponder.
But he responded to the tender kiss, refused to let the almost self-destructive need of last night swamp him again. Long-fingered hands caressed him, soothed his anxieties, and he wrapped his arms around his lover. Last night had been needy and wild, and he had let go, had wanted to just feel with an intensity that swept away everything else. Rikugo had responded, had given in, had given him that what he craved without asking.
He loved him.
What if Enma took him away, too?
"He won't," was the low answer and Ryu winced as he realized he had spoken this fear out loud.
"How do you know?"
"He can't control my presence, Ryu. Not here. Not in this place. The Palace is outside Enma's jurisdiction. Even he has no power over who you allow inside." Rikugo smiled and ran a thumb over the deep lines in the young face. "As long as you want me here, I can come."
Ryu stared at him, eyes wide, barely able to breathe.
Yes, he was the master of the Palace of Candles.
He controlled it...
"I want you here," he whispered harshly.
Rikugo's smile was warm and relieved. "And I want to be here." He nibbled at his lips. "How about breakfast?"
He laughed softly. "Shower first."
Those onyx eyes ran over his very naked form and appreciation shone in them. "Sounds just fine to me."
For a moment the shadow of the failure was lifted from his mind, but Ryu knew he had lost his only chance to be free.
There would never be a second chance.
tbc...