Chapter Fourteen
September 12, 1919
Cora, Robert, and Violet had all come around to the idea of Sybil and Tom's marriage after a few months, in large part due to Mary persuading them they should be proud to have raised a smart, independent woman who knew what she wanted and made things happen. Sybil and Cora had also won over Robert by convincing him that Tom was one of the main reasons Sybil had stayed safe during the war, as he had ensured her welfare when transporting her from place to place so she could be a nurse for people all over Yorkshire and even in London.
Now the wedding preparations were in full swing. The whole family was in Dublin. Sybil and Tom had chosen to have the wedding there so that his family could be in attendance. They were going to honeymoon in the Irish countryside and then return to Downton at Christmas. Sybil had asked Anna to help her get ready for the wedding, as she hadn't had a lady's maid since the war began and also wanted Anna to feel included since she was essentially her sister-in-law. She had arranged for Mary, Anna, and Ellie to stay in their own rental cottage so they could be together as a family when they weren't busy with the wedding. Cora had been confused when she heard Mary wouldn't stay at the hotel with the rest of the family. Mary kindly explained to her, "Sybil has arranged this for me because she knows Ellie is excited to be leaving England for the first time, and she thought it would be a special treat for her niece." That seemed to settle things, and Cora hadn't broached the subject again since they arrived several days ago.
It was two days before the wedding now, and Mary and Ellie had just gotten home from a large dinner with the whole family to celebrate the impending nuptials and introduce the Crawleys to Tom's family. She was exhausted from the event but elated for Sybil, and she couldn't deny she had enjoyed meeting Tom's eccentric siblings. "How was it?" Anna asked her as she came into the rental house and hung up her coat.
"It went surprisingly well. There were a few awkward moments between Mama and Papa and Tom's brother, but, on the whole, I'd say it went well."
"That's good. And did you enjoy it, Ellie?"
"Yes!" the little girl exclaimed happily, "I got to sit at the table with the rest of the family, and I met some of Uncle Tom's cousins around my age. They were fun!"
"That's great, sweetpea. I'm so glad you had a good time."
"Ellie, darling, I'm afraid it's quite past your bedtime. Why don't you go upstairs and put your nightgown on and brush your teeth?" Mary said.
"But Mama, I'm not tired," the young girl protested.
"You will be if you don't get enough sleep," Mary said in a firm but gentle tone, "and we have lots of fun things to do tomorrow that you won't want to be sleepy for, remember?"
Ellie nodded and rubbed her eyes, giving away that she actually was tired despite her claim otherwise. "Alright. Goodnight Mama. Goodnight Anna."
Anna gave her a gentle hug. "Goodnight Ellie."
"Anna and I will be up to braid your hair and tuck you in shortly," Mary said before her daughter ran off up the stairs to her bedroom.
"I understand why she can't, but sometimes I wish she still called me 'Anna mummy.'" Anna admitted once Ellie was out of sight.
"I wish she did too, love. But it is much safer for all three of us this way," Mary said. They had gotten Ellie to break that habit while she was still a very little girl in order to make things easier when the time came for her to go to school. Mary decided against a governess because she didn't want an outsider coming into their sacred space, and she also wanted her daughter to be able to socialize with other kids her age. However, when she had decided that, she knew that it would raise too many questions if Ellie said anything that implied having a second mummy, so they had gotten her into the habit of just calling Anna by her name rather than the childhood nickname she had once used.
"I know it is," Anna sighed, "Don't mind me, I'm being silly."
"Love, your feelings are valid. They are not silly at all," Mary said as she gently took Anna's hands within her own and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her wife's cheek.
"I love you, you know," Anna muttered before giving her wife a gentle peck on the lips and then looking her in the eye with a soft smile.
"I love you, too," Mary said, reciprocating Anna's smile and blushing a little, "I love you so very much."
"You look a little flushed, darling. Are you alright?" Anna lightly teased her.
"Perfectly," Mary stated before playfully pinching her wife's behind, "You know what you do to me."
"Me? Are you sure I did this to you and not the wine at dinner?" Anna asked with a teasing smirk.
"I may have had an extra glass tonight to get past the initial awkwardness," Mary admitted, "but I am always like this around you, wine or no wine."
"Well then let us enjoy it," Anna raised an eyebrow in a flirtatious expression.
"I was thinking we should say goodnight to Ellie and then do just that, my darling," Mary responded with equal flirtation before grabbing Anna's hand, leaning in to kiss her temple, and then heading towards the stairs with her wife.
The wedding was lovely. It was a traditional Catholic service, something that none of the family had experienced before. Even though Anna was near the back of the church, she still found it just as beautiful as the rest of the Crawleys did from their position towards the front. When Sybil and Tom began the march down the aisle towards the end of the service, Anna caught Mary's eye as everyone began standing to watch the recessional. Mary's eyes were sparkling with obvious happiness for her sister but also with affection for Anna as she glimpsed her wife in that brief moment. Her eyes seemed to be conveying how much love she had for Anna and saying "I wish it were you and I in white dresses walking down that aisle. If I could tell everyone how much I love you, I would." Anna continued their silent conversation, using her eyes to say "I know. I love you with my whole heart, darling." Then, more people stood in the rows between them and their wordless profession of their love was broken as they turned their attention to watching the newlyweds exit from where they had just taken their vows.
Anna and Mary loved having conversations with Ellie at the dinner table. They knew she could be very sociable and speak about things in a respectful manner, and they wanted to encourage that in her. They would never dream of having her eat somewhere other than at table with them, but unfortunately nights at Downton meant the children ate with Nanny. Mary had tried convincing her parents to change things several times, but they always refused for the sake of keeping up tradition. However, during this time in Ireland her parents weren't in charge. Sybil and Tom were, and they wanted the children to be a part of the event. At the wedding reception, the children in attendance were allowed to sit at the tables with their parents while the meal was served and take part in the dancing as well. Sybil was even saving two special dances, one for Ellie and one for David.
The servants also partook in the event. They sat at a table together during the meal. Everyone else was sat in family groups around circular tables, the "family" of servants from Downton included. This meant Anna was separated from her darling family of her own, but there was nothing she could do about it. It would seem too unorthodox to everyone else if she sat at the table with Mary and Edith and their children, but in her heart, she knew they were her family. Mary and Ellie were more of a family to her than even her own mother had been, and she loved them dearly. She felt so grateful they were a part of her life, and even though she wished she could be more open about the true role they played in it, she was glad to be nearby and experiencing this happy occasion with them.
Ellie, on the other hand, was rather confused about why Anna wasn't sitting with them. She knew Anna didn't come with them to dinner at Downton Abbey. But they always ate together when they were at Hawton House. Ellie didn't understand what was different about this situation than other times when the three of them were together. She hoped she could at least dance with Anna after their meal was over.
Mary could tell something was bothering her daughter, so she pulled Ellie to the side as they made their way towards the restroom in between dinner and dancing. She crouched down in front of her daughter and asked, "Darling, what's the matter?"
"Mama, why couldn't Anna sit with us at dinner?"
Mary sighed softly at the question. It was hard to have discussions about class with a child, and moreover, Mary didn't feel like Anna should be treated less than. She loved her and truly viewed her as an equal, and she wanted to raise her daughter to do the same.
Carefully choosing her words, Mary tried her best to explain in a way Ellie would understand, "Well, sweetheart, Anna is, well, she's not part of the Crawley family in the same way that we are. Remember how we talked about what to say when people at school asked you about Anna, and we told you to tell them she's my maid?"
Ellie nodded. "But you also said that, in your heart, she is your best friend and means more to you than a maid."
"Yes, I did say that, and I do feel that way," Mary responded cautiously, "but remember how I said those feelings are special and we can only talk about such special feelings at home?"
Again, Ellie nodded, but a quizzical expression still remained on her face, "Why can't you talk about those feelings outside of our house, Mama? If she is your best friend, shouldn't we tell people that we love and care about Anna?"
"Yes, we love and care about her, but things are different when it's just the three of us than when everybody is here. I only tell people about my feelings when I really know and trust them, people like you and Anna and your Aunt Sybil. There are a lot of people we don't know here, like Uncle Tom's friends and family. Do you understand?"
"I think so," Ellie said with a slight nod before asking, "Can I dance with Anna even though people we don't know are here?"
"Yes, you may," Mary responded, "I believe Anna has been saving a dance just for you, and so has your Aunt Sybil. I have too. Is that alright with you?"
"It's perfect," Ellie squealed excitedly, a delighted grin breaking out across her face.
Mary wrapped her daughter up in a hug and kissed the side of her head, "I love you, sweet girl."
"I love you too, Mama. Now, can we please hurry and go to the bathroom so we can start dancing?"
Mary chuckled at her daughter's eagerness to get on the dancefloor, a trait she too had possessed in her younger years, before rising to her feet and taking Ellie's hand to lead them to the restroom. "We sure can. Come on."
As Mary and Anna settled into bed that night, they reflected on the day's events. "I think today went rather well, don't you?" Anna asked her wife.
"Yes, Ellie was marvelously well-behaved, and I loved watching her dance with you. My only regret is not getting a dance of my own with you."
"You know we couldn't possibly have done that," Anna stated, "but I love you so much for wanting to."
"I know," Mary said. "I love you, too. Something else happened with Ellie today."
"What?"
"She wanted to know why you couldn't eat with us. It broke my heart a little trying to explain that we can only do that when we are alone."
"Oh, love, I know it is hard for us all that we can't be openly affectionate with each other. But I am glad we are a nontraditional family, even if we can only be so behind closed doors. You know why I'm glad?"
"Why?" Mary inquired.
"Because this family is exactly what I needed. We support each other and love each other in a way I never experienced before I met you. And I think it's what you needed too, even if it is a little harder for you to keep it hidden."
"You're right in a way," Mary admitted. "Your love came at just the right time in my life, and it was exactly what I needed. We have the kind of life I always desired but thought I would never have, one full of love and passion and actual happiness rather than plagued by duty and obligation. I appreciate you so much for that, Anna, and I am more grateful than I could possibly express."
"See, you've just proved my point, darling," Anna said, "we have all we could possibly need just by being together, that is all any couple could ever hope for."
"You're right, of course. While I do wish we could have had a ceremony as lovely as Sybil and Tom's was today, I realize our union is just as strong as theirs because we have all the same feelings a lawfully married couple has for each other. We love and support each other the same way they do. We have everything we need right here, just you, me, and Ellie."
"Exactly," Anna agreed before yawning. Mary took her wife's hand within her own and cuddled into her as they got comfortable for the night. "Speaking of Ellie," Anna added once she felt her wife's head settle down onto her pillow, "Did you realize there will come a day when you'll be walking her down the aisle?"
"You know, I hadn't really thought about that. But now that you put it in my head, I can only say that I hope that day is quite a ways in the future."
"Don't want your little girl to grow up, do you?" Anna teased.
"No, I really don't. And as much as you may tease me for it, I know you don't either," Mary said as she lightly poked Anna's ribs.
Anna laughed at the tickling sensation. "Maybe not," she admitted, "But she'll have to at some point."
"I know," Mary said, "But not yet."
"No, not yet. Right now, she is still our little girl who needs us to help her buckle her shoes and braid her hair before bed and wants to talk to us about anything and everything, and we should cherish that."
"Oh, I do," Mary responded, "And you know what else I cherish?"
"What?"
"You."
With that, Mary began to kiss her wife gently, her hands gently caressing Anna's side as their tongues started to tangle. Anna kissed back as she brought her hands to the back of Mary's neck and stroked the baby hairs there. "I love you," she uttered breathlessly when their kiss broke before another one began.
A/N: I hope you liked this story. There is a short epilogue, and then it is the end of Always By Your Side. I have loved writing ABYS, and I hope you have enjoyed reading it. Thanks for reading! I would greatly appreciate a review.