The Story Too Cool To Have A Title
By Demolition
Chapter 3 – Extreme Saiyuki Makeover
A/N: I don't own Saiyuki in any way, shape, or form. But I do own their new outfits! w00t!
Charlie: You are just strange.
Demolition: And you're not?
Charlie: ...
To GensomadenGirl: Heh, yeah, that would help. And I call myself a fangirl... has always called them a staff and a scythe thinggy I am ashamed. ;;
To MechaPotato: Thanks! Yay for compliments! Yeah, I know. I meant to go back and fix that switch, but I got lazy. Which happens a lot. Let's see if I can't get around to it sometime in the next millenium.
To MechaPotato (again): Yay! More compliments! I shall keep going, if only for you! I'LL NEVER LET GO, JACK! ... >> Um, sorry.
To Cid the Stampede: MINE! steals the Sanzo party away from Cid Oh, trust me, Kate knows how lucky she is... points below AH! steals the Tsukasa and Tomono keychains MINE! >: D
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So there they stood. The four hottest men in the anime world (according to Kate). Standing there. In a line. In her room. The urge to poke them – just to see if they were really real – was almost overwhelming. She reached a pudgy finger out and poked Gojyo in the chest.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The halfling demanded, swatting Kate's hand away. She smiled and said nothing in reply to that particular question.
"You can't go around looking the way you do," Kate began, opening her closet.
"Why not?" Goku asked, looking down at his clothes.
"Because no one else dresses that way. And the last thing we need is for you to be thrown in jail or a psychiatric hospital," Kate replied, going through all the clothes that hung limply from wire hangers.
"So what do you propose we do? Walk around in our underwear?" Sanzo commented sarcastically. A perverted grin spread across Kate's chubby features.
"You're more than welcome to," she replied, imagining the Sanzo party in her room. In their underwear. In the buff. A glazed look swept over her eyes and her tongue lolled out the side of her mouth. Irritated by such behavior, Sanzo whipped out his fan.
"OW!" Kate shouted, rubbing her head.
"Get on with it," Sanzo commanded, obviously frustrated with the situation.
"Okay, fine. Since you're so impatient, I'll do you first," Kate replied haughtily, plucking a few items of clothing from her closet and shoving them at the priest.
Sanzo pushed the door open, an expression sourer than usual on his face. Instead of his creamy white priestly robes, he was dressed in black slacks, secured by a thin black belt and a bright, bubble-gum pink button down top. His three companions stared, mouths hanging open. Kate bit her bottom lip, eyes roving over Sanzo's body.
"Here," She said finally, grabbing Sanzo's arm and rolling up the sickeningly pink sleeve to Sanzo's elbow. The same thing was done to the other arm. Kate stepped back to admire her handy work. "Well, you look... cute…" She commented casually. Sanzo looking 'cute' sent the other three men over the edge. Gojyo was on the floor (again), clutching his sides and writhing in silent laughter. Hakkai chuckled quietly to himself. Goku simply pointed and laughed.
"Bastards…" Sanzo hissed, fan already in hand.
"Where the hell do you keep that thing?" Kate asked, rubbing her head after being slapped.
"Any money he keeps it up his ass," Gojyo replied, glaring at Sanzo, who's fan had attacked the red-head.
"No wonder he's always so grumpy!" Goku exclaimed. He was promptly rewarded with yet another thwap! of Sanzo's fan. Before Sanso injured anyone else, the yet unhurt Hakkai raised his hand.
"I'll go next," He offered. Kate grinned and shoved him into her room, closing the door behind her.
A good long while later, the door was flung open, exposing Hakkai in all his newly clothed glory. Kate hung off of him, looking like she was part of the ensemble. Hakkai wore clay colored pants, held up by a braided brown belt, and a white t-shirt with the words "Seirk Orthodontics" scrawled across the front in blue and green with the business's logo right above. Kate twirled her finger and Hakkai turned to show the words on the back. "Tales 709" was printed in bold, blue font, reminiscent of a sports jersey.
"What does 'Tales' mean?" Gojyo asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It's my nickname," Kate answered, "Just like 'Pervy Water-sprite' is yours." She grinned, grabbed Goku by the collar, and dragged him into the room.
"How the hell did she know my nickname?" Gojyo breathed. It took him a moment to get over the initial shock of being called a pervy water-sprite by someone other than Goku. "Hey…!" He said indignantly to the closed door.
"Took you long enough," Sanzo sighed, rolling his violet eyes. Grunts from behind the door drew the company's attention.
"C'mon, just slip it on," Kate's voice pleaded. Grunts signaled a struggle.
"Ow! Watch where you shove that thing!" Goku's childish voice returned.
"Hey, I'm not the one trying to shove things where they're not wanted," Kate retorted.
"The hell you aren't!" Goku said exasperatedly. The companyon the other side of the doorexchanged looks.
"If you let me, this would be much more pleasurable for the both of us," Came Kate's voice after some more grunting.
"I can do this myself. You just sit there and let me," Goku panted.
"No, you're doing it all wrong," Kate's now exhausted voice sounded through the door. "Don't move your hips like that. It'll hurt you – and me!"
"What the hell are they doing in there?" Gojyo asked, dirty thoughts clouding his mind.
"Fine. Then you do whatever the hell you want. I'm just going to lay here." Goku relinquished whatever power he may have had to Kate.
"Just don't go limp on me," She sighed. More grunts, groans, and moans followed, leaving little to the imagination of Gojyo, Hakkai, and Sanzo. The noise reached a peak, then all was quiet for a time. The door creaked open slowly, a disgruntled-looking Goku and a disappointed Kate stood in the doorway. Kate's jacket had been removed, and her shirt was out of place. Her jeans hung off her meaty hips at an odd angle. Goku looked rather sharp in orange Capri's and a tight black tank top. He tugged at the shirt, smoothing it across his chest.
"What exactly went on in there?" Gojyo inquired, trying to shake the naked image of Goku from his mind.
"Goku was having some trouble getting dressed. Why?" Kate asked, her mind not currently occupying the gutter (which was unusual).
"Riiiight…" Gojyo drawled, grinning. "And I suppose he had a little trouble getting his clothes off…"
"What? Oh – Gojyo!" You dirty minded bastard!" Kate scolded in realization. "Get those sex scenes out of your head! Jack off on your own freakin' time!"
"I knew you were dirty, but I didn't know how much!" Goku cringed, trying to cover his chest from Gojyo's crimson gaze.
"Well, since Goku didn't live up to your expectations, wanna try me on for size?" Gojyo offered, swinging his hips suggestively. Kate, her mind now firmly buried beneath several wet, dirty layers of leaves in a soggy and clogged gutter, grinned and pounced on the halfling, throwing him into her room with a playful growl. The door slammed behind them.
"Strip!" Kate commanded from behind the door.
"You got it, babe," Gojyo answered, his voice low and sultry. A moment of silence.
"Wait, we need some music for this," Kate halted Gojyo's sexy stripping. Bow chika bow bwaoh… went the bass after a CD was thrown hurriedly into the CD player. The slow, sexy beat filled the room and spilled into the hallway.
"And he calls me dirty…" Goku commented dryly.
A while later, the door swung open and Kate dashed out, flinging herself down the stairs with a wild grin on her face. Gojyo leaned against the open door, dressed in nothing but his pants and a sly smile.
"Where'd she go?" Goku asked, "Did you scare her away?" Gojyo reached out a hand and slapped the monkey. Kate hurled herself up the stairs, sliding into Goku as she turned to enter her room.
"Whoops, sorry," She said quickly, flashing a smile. She turned to Gojyo, who grinned.
"You ready?" He asked. Kate waved a handful of one dollar bills around.
"Hell. Yeah." She replied, pouncing on Gojyo and shoving a dollar down his pants. The door slammed shut again. Wild whoops of joy sounded over the now blaring music.
"I wonder what she's got to eat," Goku said, gazing idly at the still closed door. It had been ages since any of them had heard any sort of noise from within the room (besides the oh-so annoying bow chika bow bwaoh of the slow, sexy music). Hakkai had taken to exploring the rest of the upstairs. Sanzo had committed himself to reading an interesting book he'd found in Kate's book bag. Goku was bored out of his mind – and starving, too.
"Well, you aren't going to find out until Kate decides to feed us," Sanzo said, turning the page.
"Awww…!" Goku whined, writhing on the floor in hunger. He suddenly sprang to his feet and pounded on Kate's door.
"Are you sure you want to know what they're doing?" Sanzo asked, not looking up from his book. Goku stopped pounding, eyes wide in horror as his mind raced through all the things that might be going on in that room. As he stared, terrified, at the door, the door swung open.
"Yes?" Kate asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "Did you need something?
"Ummm…" Goku peered around his chubby host, wanting to see what Gojyo was up to. Gojyo sat on a purple beanbag, flipping through a sketchbook. He was fully clothed in dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt that read 'I'm not weird, I'm gifted' in red and white lettering.
"Yes?" Kate prompted.
"I'm hungry," Was all Goku could come up with. Not that it was an excuse, but if it had been, it would have been very lame.
"Oh. Okay," Kate replied. Without batting an eye, she retrieved the sketchbook from Gojyo's grasp, took Goku by the hand and led him down the stairs to the kitchen. Dazed, Gojyo followed, wanting to look at the drawings some more.
"Now that you mention it, I'm rather hungry as well," Hakkai said to no one in particular as he placed a trinket back on the shelf it had come from.
"We'd better go eat, then," Sanzo sighed, closing his book. Hakkai pulled Sanzo to his feet and the pair headed down to the kitchen.