The Story Too Cool To Have A Title

By Demolition

Chapter 4 – The Magic Box of Warm Food

A/N: This is really just a reminder, as you should know that I don't own Saiyuki in any way, shape, or form.

Charlie: What is up with that chapter title?

Demolition: Read the chapter to find out!

Charlie: You ran out of good ideas, didn't you?
Demolition: Shhhh…! Don't let the readers know!

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Kate pulled the fridge door open, letting the cool air spill out onto Goku's eager face. The smile that usually rested there lost its luster and fell into a frown.

"This is all?" Goku asked dejectedly.

"Yup." Kate replied, reaching for an apple. "And you can't eat a lot, otherwise I'll get in trouble," She warned, peeling the sticker off of the apple's bright green skin.

"The whole thing won't even fill me up!" Goku exclaimed, staring at the meager amount of food available.

"Well, you'll just have to deal with it. That is, until I figure out something better," Kate replied, tossing Hakkai a yogurt and directing him to the spoons.

"D'ya got any beer?" Gojyo inquired, flipping through the sketchbook that had been tossed on the kitchen table.

"Yeah, but I'm not giving any to you," Kate answered. Gojyo let out a groan and Sanzo grunted in annoyance.

"Well, what do you have to drink?" Sanzo asked, seating himself at the table.

"Um… Mountain Dew, Code Red, Raspberry Brisk, Diet Pepsi, and Cherry Coke. And water, milk, and cold coffee, of course." Kate replied with a nod. "I suppose I could make some tea or hot chocolate, if you like," She added as an afterthought.

"Heat up a cup of coffee for me," Sanzo commanded. "Black, with a spoonful of honey."

"That's an odd addition," Kate remarked, careful to choose a cup that read 'World's Greatest Mother' with an addition of 'Fucker' on a piece of masking tape that had somehow eluded the censorship of her parents. She poured a cup of coffee and placed it in the microwave.

"What the hell? A cabinet isn't going to heat up my coffee," Sanzo snapped.

"It's not a cabinet, it's a microwave. It heats things up, much like a fire, but without all the fuss of smoke and ashes," Kate explained with a frown, thinking that she sounded like a salesman. Saleswoman, actually. She set the microwave and went about trying to find the honey. "There are a lot of new technologies that you don't have any experience with." The microwave beeped just as Kate found the honey. She stirred a spoonful of honey in and handed the cup to Sanzo. She dusted her hands off and leaned against the island in the center of the kitchen.

"Can I have that?" Goku asked, pointing to a large package of raw hamburger.

"No! That's for dinner tonight." Kate replied after inspecting the package in question. Goku frowned and stared longingly at the meat. Kate sighed and rummaged around for a moment. She returned with a package of hot dogs.

"What are those?" Goku asked, sniffing the hot dogs delicately. "They smell pretty good."

"Hot dogs," Kate replied, setting the package down on the island as she reached for a knife to free the frozen dogs from their plastic prison. "They aren't my favorite, but then again, I'm not eating them."

"Oh? You won't be joining us for dinner?" Hakkai asked, digging his spoon into the half-eaten yogurt.

"Nope. I've got to eat with my family," Kate replied.

"And where exactly will we be while you're doing that?" Sanzo asked, picking up a newspaper that was lying on the table.

"Fuck." Kate said, slapping her head after closing the microwave door, hot dogs settled safely inside.

"Already did, but maybe later," Gojyo replied, grinning and obviously thinking himself very clever.

"Crap… I hadn't even thought of that yet…" Kate said, ignoring Gojyo's comment. "You can't stay here," She continued, pacing the tiled kitchen floor. "You can't stay outside, you can't stay at a hotel…"

"Why can't we stay outside? We've camped before," Hakkai suggested, licking his spoon clean.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but we don't have a fence. And the houses are a bit close together. I think that someone would notice you, camped out in the back yard." Kate shot that idea out of the sky.

"Well, then, why can't we stay in a hotel?" Hakkai countered.

"Do you have money?" Kate asked, raising an eyebrow. "Do you have a car? Do you know how to get there? How to check in, how to pay for it, how to behave?" With each word, she became more and more frantic. By the time she was done talking, her hands were above her head, her eyes wide, and she was towering over Hakkai, a mad glint in her eyes.

"We can easily get money, and Hakaru can turn into a jeep –"

"Wait, where exactly is Hakaru?" Kate asked, interrupting Hakkai. The group looked around, seeing nothing of the little white dragon. All eyes turned on Hakkai, who grinned.

"He's right here," A scaly white nose poked out of the sash that Hakkai wore across his chest. Hakaru emerged, flailing his wings a bit and perching on Hakkai's shoulder.

"Jesus Christ…" Kate shook her head. She opened her mouth as if to say more, but apparently decided against it as she closed her mouth.

"Back to the hotel idea," Hakkai said, "We can get money, Hakaru can turn into a jeep, you can show us how to check in, we'll figure out how to pay for it, and we'll just keep to ourselves in our room and behavior won't be a problem."

"And how do you propose to get the money, pray tell?" Kate asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Like we always do," Sanzo cut in, folding the newspaper over and looking up at Kate.

"No," Kate said, pointing a finger at the priest in pink. "You are not stealing money."

"Well, how else are we supposed to get money?" Sanzo snapped, obviously not liking being told what to do.

"Hmm, I don't know, maybe there's something like, oh, say, a JOB." Kate said, sarcasm simply dripping from her voice.

"And we can all get a job, start working, and make enough money to pay for a hotel all before you and your family sit down to have a lovely meal." Sanzo hissed, eyes narrowing.

"Yes, yes, that's exactly what I expect," Kate replied, fists clenched. "I realize you just got flung from another dimension or world or time or whatever, but what you don't realize is that you're making my life hell."

"We've only been here for a few hours…" Gojyo said, "And, as I recall, your life wasn't all that bad a little while ago." He winked. Kate rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, would you?" She asked politely, giving a little grin. "I'm trying to figure out a way for you to survive the night." Her smile fell into a bitchy frown. The group was silent for a moment as Kate resumed her pacing, thinking of a solution.

"I'm hungry…" Goku reminded her, staring anxiously at the microwave door.

"Oh, for God sakes," Kate muttered under her breath. She marched over to the microwave and set the timer. Goku pressed his face up against the see-through door, drooling.

"Getting jobs isn't a bad idea, but we'll need a place to stay until we can fend for ourselves," Hakkai said.

"There is a house for sale across the street…" Kate said slowly, "Do any of you know how to pick a lock?" Everyone raised their hands. "Right, should have expected that."

"So, now we're breaking in to a house?" Gojyo asked, eyeing Goku as the monkey king greedily watched the hot dogs spin round and round in the magic box of warm food (aka microwave).

"Well, yeah, I guess. You kind of have to." Kate said, rubbing the back of her neck.

"And you said 'No' to stealing money," Sanzo shook his head disapprovingly.

"What exactly do you want from me?" Kate snapped, rounding on Sanzo.

"I want you to figure out a way for us to get home." Sanzo replied without missing a beat.

"I'll get right on that, because apparently, being from this world – dimension, time, whatever – makes me an expert on how to rip a hole in the space-time continuum and send you back to your normal life!" Kate ranted, face red with anger.

"Well, what the hell do you want me to do?" Sanzo vented, just as angry as Kate. The microwave dinged and Goku almost wet himself with delight that he could finally eat.

"I want you to just shut the fuck up!" Kate screamed, upset at Sanzo's harsh reaction. "I'm doing the best I can to help you out when I could just as easily call the cops and have you thrown in jail and not have to deal with your fucking 'bad-ass' attitude!" She was on the verge of tears now.

"The magic box of warm food stopped spinning…" Goku pointed out, oblivious to the argument that Kate and Sanzo were having.

"I want you to just get over your own fucking self for one fucking minute!" Kate rounded now on Goku, who shrank away from the raving girl.

"But… I'm starving to death…" Goku pouted, comforting himself.

"I want you to realize what I'm going to have to do to keep you alive!" Kate turned around to face those seated at the table. The group was silent as Kate sobbed quietly, staring at Sanzo with tears dripping down her face, despite the fact that she tried to hold them in.

"So, you want us to pity you." Sanzo said, his voice much calmer now.

"No, I just want you to be patient. I want you to understand that I'm not like you," Kate sniffled, picking up on Sanzo's calm and calming down herself.

"The magic box of warm food stopped spinning…" Goku tried again, sensing that his hostess was not going to bite his head off. Kate mindlessly took the hot dogs out of the microwave and set them down at the table for Goku to eat.

"Why don't we go check out that house," Hakkai suggested, watching Goku shove a whole hot dog in his mouth, squeal in surprise, spit it out, bathe his tongue in the cool air, and then do it all over again.

"Hey! I just started eating!" Goku pouted around a mouthful of hot dogs.