AN- Wow…I got more reviews for writing one chapter of something randomly when I'm board then what I do for a story that I poor my heart and soul into! This is horrible! Rather satisfying but horrible still. XD Thank you to all who have reviewed to this. This chapter is for you!

Help Wanted- I've now been told by a few people when writing my stories that I have grammar and spelling errors. Well there's a reason for it as I am dyslexic so I am now looking for anyone who would like to help me in editing my stories so that they can be posted without any mistakes. Also I'm having some trouble with my computer so updating will take a bit . Please be patient with me I am writing four stories at once after all. -;;

Disclaimer- This is stupid. If I owned it I would have been gloating about it long ago!

Bakura's Rant

Chapter Two: Flaming Bakura's and Naked Yami's

Bakura frowned as he laid back ageist the cousins of his sofa. Feet propped up and head leaned back he stared focused upon the ceiling as three of the little kittens made their adventurous way across his body, exploring the new world know as Ryou's living room!

Making a face he peered down to one of the kittens that had made a napping place upon the crotch of his pants and proceeded to wrinkle his nose.

"You my friend are way to young to be thinking about sleeping anywhere near there…" however he left the small cat where it was and allowed his head to settle back down upon the arm of the sofa.

He could feel the small tugs of the fourth little kitten on his hair. It unlike the others was obviously entertaining itself by playing 'Bald The Bakura' at the end of the couch, catching a small amount of his long silver locks in it's mouth before tugging at them in a vain attempt to pull them from their roots.

He grunted again this time twisting his head to see the other little demon reeking havoc upon him.

"How do you expect me to win over Ryou if some three week brat ass kitten-cannon-ball makes me bald!" he was forced to grimace again as the smaller feline ignored his small attempt of persuasion and pulled another three hairs from his skull.

"I wonder what kitten taste like…"

"Bakura I'm home!"

"Damn…oh well, at least now I can get some proper food." He smiled placing his new favorite snack onto the table and moving into the kitchen. The small red bag quickly being tipped over by Kura and gratefully eaten.

"Bakura!" the smaller male proclaimed before hiding a small red and blue bag behind his back.

The tomb thief raised an eyebrow upon witnessing this though said nothing. His light tended to do and say strange things and he really didn't want to be doing anything too out of the ordinary today. Between being unwillingly proclaimed as a pedophile by one kitten and turned into a carom dome by the other he really didn't want to go doing anything that may cause him anymore humiliation then what he had already experienced…I mean for Ra sakes! His favorite snack to eat before Ryou's return from school was cat treats!

"I'm hungry."

"Well…that was blunt…"

He shrugged before moving to the cupboard and taking from it a small bowl and an egg. He had managed to figure out how to prepare some of the food…just not cook it.. like eggs for example! He knew that to start off you first had to get the egg and put it in the bowl and mix it with milk and spices before you could put it in the pan for scrambled eggs!

Smiling at this Ryou moved something from his bag, slipping a small rather frilly apron over the top of Bakura's head from behind before quickly fastening it to the spirit.

The tomb robber blinked for a moment before turning to face his hakari and having a few bright lights flash in his face. A couple of photo's being taken in the process.

"AHHH! MY EYE'S! MY EYE'S!" he stepped backwards and onto the cats tale who then proceeded to show his back what it felt like to be a block of cheese to a greater.

Shouting yet another curse he jumped again, this time landing into his hakari's arms.

"Uhh! Bak-urrr-a….too heavy…" there was a loud bang and soon the two of them were on the floor again. The cat just managing to escape the wrath of their fall.

"heh heh heh…uhh…sorry hakari…"

"Mmm…well come on! Let's have you cook up some food! You'll never learn if you don't try!"

Ten minutes later. Bakura's POV

"AHHHHH! IT'S EXPLODING!"

"It's not exploding! The oil caught fire! Grab the pot lid and cover the flames!"

I turn my attention to the lid and quickly grabbed at it as the firey pan continued to spit it's acid at me. I moved as quickly as I could slamming the lid onto the pan and smiled…

"Now was that so bad?"

"Heh heh, hey I guess it AHHH! I'M EXPLODING! I'M EXPLODING!"

"OH MY RA! BAKURA YOU'RE ON FIRE!"

"I CAN SEE THAT MAKE IT STOP!"

"Uhh! Uhhh! Rule number one! Never panic!"

"Easy for you to say your not on fire!" I swat and pat furiously at the flames. If I had been at home jumping into the sand to smother it would have been a good idea. But for now I was wearing a FUCKING FLAMING APRIN STRAPED TO MY CHEST! HE TIED A FREILLY DEATH TRAP TOP MY CHEST!

"STOP DROP AND ROLL!"

Still having my attention firmly focused on my burning hands and flaming body I quickly fell to my back and noticed that…well…there was no where to roll...as I have a counter on one side of me and a table on the other...I was now burning alive…er…dead…and on my back! Wow! Look at how high the flames can go!

"WHERE THE HELL DO I FUCKING ROLL!"

"Neah! Neah! Neah!" He's squeaking, and though I would usually enjoy hearing him squeak, I'm usually below 350 degrees Celsius.

"I-I know! Just wait there! I-I'll be right back!" With that hje raced out of the room.

Ah yes. Please lie there and burn. Why not? We've tried just about everything else…hmm…I wonder why he didn't think to use the water form the tap…Why am I so calm as my flesh melts form my body?

"I've got it! Close your eyes!"

"Why the fuck should I clo-" My protests were short lived as a thick foam filled my chest, mouth and vision…wow…though the extreme pain from my chest is gone this new pain of immense burning has randomly began in my eye balls…hmm…

"AHHHH! IT BURNS IT BURNS!"

One Trip of healing to the Ring later…

"Ryou…"

"Ne Bakura?"

"If I ever go to cook again…please shoot me…"

He gave a laugh…as if this was some kind of a joke…I failed to see what was so funny…

"Yami, I'm not going to be able to cook your food for you for ever! You're going to have to learn at some point!"

"But every time I cook something goes wrong…" He's still cleaning up the kitchen…and now he's holding a box…it's a box of cookie mix…

"Here…" he's handing it to me…didn't he just hear me tell him that last bit about 'never cook again'…some how I don't he was paying any attention to me… "Try making these! Their plan cookies. Just add whatever toping you want, mix it up in a bowl, preheat the oven to 450 lay them in small balls on a non stick cookie sheet and put them in the oven for no more then twenty minutes. Ok?"

I give a small nod before looking at my enemy once more…how I would loath making these cookies…yes I would loath them and in return they would loath me back…

"Fine…I'll make cookies…"

Smiling he went back to work…first cleaning up the floor…and then cleaning up the counter and stove…after that he pulled out a bunch of ingredients and laid them onto the counter.

"This is all the stuff you'll need. Now you just have to add your own treats, like peanuts butter, chocolate chips, smarties…you know those sort of thing. No blood! I can not emphasize on that enough! NO BLOOD!"

I frowned…that wasn't vary fair…these were going to be my cookies and I couldn't even make them my way…but fine! I wouldn't use blood!

"All right all right…. I won't use blood…" Smiling at this he left the kitchen leaving me to my work.

I walked along the counter eyeing each and every ingredient…they were all making fun of me and I knew it…they were all planning my death, they were going to try and get the best of me!

My eye's travel to the blender and I run back to my painful memory of when I was first trying to make the Kiwi pancakes…and how I got my hair stuck in the damned blender! Ryou had to spend three full hours untangling my hair and then another two brushing it…hell hadn't been nearly as cruel as the torture that vial creature had put me threw!

"Well your not going to get me this time Mr. Blender! I'm going to use a fork! MUA HA HA HA HAA!"

"Bakura what are you…No, Don't tell me! I don't want to know!"

Smirking I pick up the package and set myself to work.

One egg.

One cup of water.

And a quarter cup of oil.

Mix well.

Add a half cup of your favorite cookie ingredient and mix again…

I complete these tasks with great care, being careful not to let my hair fall into the batter at any point or time! I'm down to the last step…my favorite ingredient…and choosing carefully I add two things…a quarter cup of each…

The balls are made and I throw them in the oven! Pre-heated and all! My triumph would be great! I would learn to cook yet!

"Wow! I'm impressed Bakura! You didn't set the place on fire this time! Good job!"

"Shut-up."

Twenty minutes pass before Ryou allows me to take the cookies. I go to the tray and grab two, one for me and one for him.

"All right Bakura! Let's see if you're any good at making cookies." He smiled and I smiled back.

I handed one of my first successful baking attempts to him and watched as he brought the small biscuit up to his nose and gently sniffing at it's off scent.

"What kind are they? What did you put in them?" I watch as he brings it to his lips, taking a big bite and chewing for a few moments before he leaned over and began to spew.

"Kitty treats and red hot chilly peppers. It said your favorite ingredients."

"Geah! Poison!"

"No, I didn't say I added poison…"

he grabbed my shirt sleeve as he once more emptied what ever contents that might have remained within his stomach before slowly bringing himself back up…he was looking pretty sick…

"Ryou I want you to know that having you vomit on my foot was THOURILY DISGUSTING!"

he nodded for a moment before looking up to me. "Well let's see you eat one of them!"

Shrugging I brought the cookie to my lips. It wasn't that bad. In fact I kind of liked it! Sweet and spicy with the disgusting kitty treats taste I had grown to love!

I smile turning back to him before popping the rest of it into my mouth and watching as the rest of his stomach came out of his…I was sure that he would have ran out by now!

"Maybe I should get you to bed…"

"Mew, mew, mew.."

"Mew"

"Mew, mew!"

We both seemed to look down this time and my eyes widened at the new 'treat' the kittens had decided to lick up for turning back to Ryou.

"NO! DON'T THROW U-"

HEARL!

Much kitten washing latter…

I have finally finished washing the little demons and cleaning the floor. Ryou's gone to bed. Not that I can blame him. Coming like that four timed can really do a guy in…mind you I would have preferred it if he had been sent to bed early from coming too much in a different sort of way…

I smirk and head back into the kitchen. My attention no where in particular as I now began to fiddle with a peace of paper on the table and listen to the cats beg to be let out of their box.

Like that's going to happen any time soon!

I snicker slightly before deciding to look at the paper in my hand.

Family Studies Project.

With a partner you must back and design a recipe of your own choice.

Try to be a unique as possible.

Have fun.

Partner: Yuugi Mouto.

General mix: Cookies.

Due: Wednesday

I thought for a minute allowing my mind to do it's thing and think about what I could do with this. I have cookies…the goods are due for tomorrow. Ryou hasn't been baking lately…so that would mean that Yuugi would have the cookies.

My smirk grew wider as my plan became clearer…

Scooping my cookies into a tupperware container and pulling on my shoe's I ran out the door. This was going to be one hell of a night!

I arrived at the Mouto shop within half an hour. They don't live as close as you may think…The school id closer for fucks sake!

I shake my head at my thought for a moment before moving to a window. If I was going to switch their project with my own then I was going to have to be sneaky about it…

I pressed a hand ageist the foggy glass and gently pushed up, the window slipping open easily.

Pleased with the easy entry I entered the room. Peering about it.

It was full of mist…mist and a sink...and a curtain…and OH MY RA I'M IN THEIR BATHROOM!

I drop my cookies and flip around, decided that now would definitely be the best time to leave when put of no where the Pharaoh appeared!

More less he walked out form behind the curtain…in a towel…nothing but a towel…

"Bakura!"

he jumps back and slips, the towel flying and with it the Pharaoh.

My eye's widened and I too am left dumfounded at the sight before me. Taking a quick step back only to hear to have the door open and knock me forward…

Yuugi's POV

I sat on my bed talking to Ryou on the phone about our cookies. There were going great! He had made the recipe and I had baked them! It was a good trade off.

"So you got all the baking done then?"

"Yep! Three dozen cookies for the class and staff!"

I can almost feel him smile. I like it when Ryou smiles. He's like Yami in that way…I treasure their smiles…both of them make me want to melt…

"Bakura!"

I blink at the odd name chanted from my bathroom and blink at my door for a moment before getting up and moving to the bathroom.

"My yami just said your yami's name…"

"Why would he want to do that?"

I opened the door and froze…

"Because your yami's between my yami's legs on the bathroom floor having a saliva exchange…AHHHHHH!"

AN- I know, I know…it wasn't funny…but hey I'm sorry I wasn't board! If you like it let me know and I'll continue it if you want me too…sorry guy's…I didn't mean to let you down. Though you must admit having Bakura land between Yami's legs and do a lip lock will make a good beginning for the next chapter. -