Chapter Four: Racing Hearts

Shang stretched, and looked at the scenery around him. Currently they were on straight road, lined with trees filled with cherry blossom. A slight breeze blew, and the blossom floated around them, falling like confetti.

A gentle slope was ahead of them. Mulan smirked at him. "I'll race you to the bottom."

"Race me?"

"Oh, come on! It's been a boring journey so far, a little fun is no bad thing."

Shang exchanged a glance with Mushu, who shrugged. "If you're chicken-"

He frowned. "I fought huns..."

"Yeah, it's jus' a pity you're scared of racin' a girl, i'n't it?"

"Alright-I accept your challenge."

They went to the edge on the slope, and looked down. "The first to the lake wins."

"What's at stake?" Mushu folded his arms.

"It's just for fun..." Mulan shook her head. "Ready?"

Shang nodded. "Go!"

Mushu realised quite quickly he'd made a mistake by deciding to sit on Mulan's shoulder, although he was glad he'd not picked to sit on Shang either (actually, he hadn't sat on Shang at all, and decided to rectify this-at least his hair wouldn't get in Mushu's eyes.) since Shang was going pretty fast too.

It was over surprisingly quickly, not that Mushu noticed. His eyes were closed and he was clinging to Mulan's neck. "Who won?" He asked.

Mulan grinned, and Shang frowned, but not without a note of pride in his eyes. "You do know the land better than I do."

She didn't answer, simply held her winning grin and leapt down from the horse. She sat by the lake and looked into it. Absent-mindedly she played with her hair. He dismounted and sat next to her. Their reflections shifted, merged to one.

"Your hair is a mess, Shang." Mushu sighed.

Shang frowned and consulted his reflection. "It's not that bad."

Mulan's nose wrinkled. "Why do you criticise people's hair?"

Mushu ignored this, sighing darkly as he waved his claws towards him. "It is a mess, though. It offends my eyes."

Mulan sighed, and undid Shang's hair, causing him to start a little.

"His hair is longer than yours."

They consulted their reflections again. It was true. His hair was longer, if only by about an inch or so.

"I had to cut it, to pass as a man..." Mulan frowned.

"Are you saying my hair is feminine?"

"No, because you tie it up."

"You could've tied yours up."

"But you tie it up in a manly fashion. If I'd tied mine up, then it would've looked like I did for the matchmaker. Besides, my hair was longer than yours."

"Yeah, that's true, it was. A lot longer." Mushu considered.

By this time, Mulan had tied Shang's hair. "There."

Shang consulted his reflection. It was a lot neater than if he had done it. He smiled a little, approvingly. For a moment he wondered what it would be like to have Mulan for a wife, waking in the morning, her smiling in a sympathetic way at his ineptitude to tie his own hair. She would sigh, and tie it for him before allowing him a kiss...

"Shang?"

He looked up at her. She raised her eyebrows. "I...uhm...thank you."

She smiled, and looked back into the river. Her expression changed. Mushu seemed to recognise it, he went over to her. "I still wonder...did I do the right thing?"

"By going to war?" She nodded. "You did." He smiled lopsidedly. "You saved China."

"But I'm still not sure I did it for the right reasons." She sighed and looked away.

Shang put a hand gently on her shoulder. "You did it for your father."

"But I also did it to escape...I'd disgraced my family with the matchmaker, and by speaking out against Chi-Fu."

"That doesn't sound like dishonour to me." Mushu snarled. "Sounds like you brought great honour..." Privately Mushu was concerned. Would this happen every time the girl looked in the mirror? He sighed inwardly, he wouldn't always be there. What would happen to her, if she didn't have anyone to reassure her. Much as he knew she could pull herself out of it, she seemed to need a reason to.

She smiled a little.

"Mulan...you may have had other reasons, but you did what you did for your father, and for your family. You saved his life. You saved my life. You saved China. You did what was right." He smiled reassuringly and she smiled back, dewy eyed.

For a moment it seemed like he was going to kiss her, or her him. For that moment, they seemed to be locked in time, having no idea what to do, what to feel, what to act on.

The wind blew, some of the blossom from the trees surrounding the lake settled on the water's surface, others on themselves. Her hair flew into her eyes, she made the move to remove it but Shang got their first. His fingers were gently tucking her hair behind her ear. He left them there, so that he was cupping her face. She turned her head towards his touch. Her mouth opened a little, caught between whispering his name or preparing for his kiss.

The wind blew again, harder this time, causing Mushu to cry out in shock (although part of this may have been seeing Mulan and Shang like that without his intervention-it wasn't his fault he'd been distracted, he'd started thinking about things such as his pedestal) and Shang to drop his hand away. Mulan stood up briskly, forcing a smile as she looked down at him.

"Time to go, I think." Mushu said darkly and a little glumly. He felt somewhat responsible-what if that never happened again?

Mulan nodded, offering a hand to pull Shang to his feet, which he took. For a moment it was like they'd recaptured the moment, but it wasn't the same, it wasn't what it seemed. He let go quickly, they turned from one another and went toward the horses.

It seemed for the rest of the journey that the tension had increased. Awkward conversation abounded between the three of them about nonsensical, unimportant things such as the weather.

"We should stop. It's been about three hours now, it'd be good to get a rest. We're making good time, though." Mulan smiled. "If I start a fire, would you go and find something for lunch?"

Shang nodded, Mushu leaping onto his shoulder (from Mulan's, quite a deft little move, causing Cri-kee to award him a 10) "I'll help. Make sure we don't get fish again."

"I like fish..."

"I don't."

Mulan smiled wryly, and began to prepare the fire. She considered that maybe next time she went to war, or anywhere with either of those two, she'd pack food that did not need to be cooked.

In the meantime, Mushu was considering the fact that Shang never seemed to do anything remotely physical without removing his shirt.

"Seriously! Why?"

"I just don't want to mess my clothes up..."

"That's a lie. Tell me the truth."

"Well...it gains you some respect, doesn't it? I mean...I'm a strong man..."

"All it gains you is looks from Mulan."

Shang started. "It does?"

Mushu nodded. "You shoulda seen her first time round. Her eyes went so wide I thought she'd die-is that a smirk? You are smirkin', boy! You're planning, aren't you? Let me in on the plan. I'm good at plans. I'm the reason-well, I'm the reason for a lotta things."

Shang's smirk stayed in place. "It's...it's nothing."

"Is this gonna be one of those sickeningly sweet things where you just feel happy that she noticed you?"

"Mushu, I'm a man of action." Shang grinned. "Oh, look. Some water. I will leap into it."

"...say wuh?"

He did. And he emerged. Dripping wet. With his hair plastered across his face.

"Oh mercy me...It's enough to turn a guy's head. You're devious, boy." Mushu's jaw dropped.

"Devious? No. Just catching lunch."

"Shang, I think I love you."

"...I'm gonna go fish over here now."

Mulan stretched out, wondering where they were. The midday sun was baking down on them and the fire wasn't helping. Cri-kee had already fashioned a fan from a nearby leaf, and though trying to help, it wasn't doing anything too great.

"I got lunch."

"About time, what took you...so...long?" She looked up and found that she was forgetting how to form sentences properly. Or how to speak. Everything, really.

Shang smiled apologetically. "Sorry. It took me a while to find. And it's fish again."

"That's OK...I like fish...I...urm...Your hair is a mess again."

That was it? He went through this glorified fan service for 'Your hair is a mess again' Was that all he was worth!

'Well, at least you fight good.' Part of his mind whispered acidly.

Oh. Right. Irony was a bugger.

"Oh, well, that's life, isn't it? My shirt got ruined, too."

"We can leave it to dry in the sun." She replied briskly, appearing to have regained her composure-although Shang felt a sense of pride in the fact that she blushed a little every time she looked up.

Lunch didn't take long. Neither of the two of them seemed to really have anything to talk about, aside from nervous awkward glances. Certain areas had become taboo, such as the time at the Tung Shao pass, his father's death. Even with Mushu's amusing observations and witticisms, little seemed to be able to spark up a conversation.

The barrier that lay between them was an interesting one. It was not a childish, giggling fear that one would discover the other's affection and spread it around the school causing great embarrassment. It was deeper, more complex. It held a deeper meaning.

For Shang it was fear of deception. This woman had managed to pass as a man, what else could she pass for? He felt secure in his love for Mulan, but who was she, really? Then there was his underlying fear-every other person he had loved had been killed, hence his distance from everyone. His father, killed by huns. His mother, killed in an attack once the enemy had found out who she was. His older brother, killed in the same attack. His sisters and himself had only been spared because they had hidden. From that point on, Shang was all the more determined to become a military man, to prevent this. One day he would have a family, but that wasn't right now. That couldn't be right now. Although the only one he could really see it happening with was Mulan.

For Mulan, there was something else entirely. She'd become so caught up in the big picture, saving China, that she had barely noticed her increasing affection for Shang, and now that she had recognised it she feared its implications. Much as the last time she took a chance it had paid off, this felt more serious. In battle it had been black and white-she had to kill the enemy. But in this far more dangerous world of love there were shades of grey. Yes, Mushu had told her Shang felt the same, but how sure could she be? The only way to be sure was to ask, and if he didn't feel that way, then they'd be left with a worse cloud of awkwardness than they already had. Besides, there was such a thing as getting caught up in the moment-what if the times she'd read as signs of his affection were just the result of confusion on his part? He wouldn't be thinking straight. He'd lost his father so recently, been betrayed by her (at least, from the look on his face when he'd held her sword, that was his interpretation) and maybe this had left its mark through perplexing behaviour.

And for Mushu, things were simply exasperating. How could they be so bold on the battlefield, have such a strong affection that they saved each other's lives and didn't need to say thank you, have this unspoken respect and trust, and yet they hadn't acted on their affections. Something had to be done.

I feel that I should mention that if any particularly talented artist wants to draw a pic of fanservice!Shang, then they should post a link to it in their review. Or just send it to me…Hehe. I'm not sure whether to be proud of the inclusion of fanservice!Shang or not, to be honest, but it was fun to write if nothing else.

And if I did own them, there'd be a lot more of fanservice!Shang in the film…hehe

Oh…and I apologise profusely for the title of this chapter. I couldn't think of anything better. Rather depressing, ne?

Incidentally, I do think I should explain myself for Mulan's…insecurity. Much as I know in the film she has to just get on with things, or it'd drag, I do think she gets over things a little quickly. I can see it coming back to her-maybe not as strongly as before, but until she receives her father's approval, I can see it may be a problem. Besides, angsty characters are much more fun to toy around with…

The hair thing is part of my own observation-in Mulan 2, when he's just been saved by his horsy (serious LOTR flashbacks there o.O) I swear his hair is longer than hers. And the idea of her doing his hair for him was too cute for words. You can understand why that had to be in there.

By the way, would you people be interested in a couple of AU fics? One about a quest type thing, and one a more modern day version of the original story, with them at a Military Academy (And Mushu as Mulan's gay room mate XD)? And maybe a cute one shot about kids and such… Let me know in your review…hint hint…Well, you can't blame a girl for trying, can you!

Also, this would've been up a LOT earlier, but I couldn't log in, so I'm sorry about the wait x.x