I splashed at the water lapping at my feet. The water was still dripping down, but the puddle it created had steadily grown much bigger. I guess ShadowMan isn't big on drainage systems.

Looking down, I stared at my own reflection in the water. It was hard to look at me, so defeated, so forlorn. My big blue eyes were sad, and my cheeks were tear stained. The loss of ProtoMan and Bass was unbearable. They had been my best friends!

Flopping back, I didn't really care that the water I lay in was freezing cold. I was beyond caring. Without Proto…. life wasn't worth it really.

Even though I tried to stop it, the memories of him crowded my mind. He had always been so kind to me! Before a big Net battle he'd always helped me out, calming me down, giving me pointers on how to counter this Navi's particular style. And he'd always been my partner. Even when I had gone blind almost two months ago.

I thought I was done crying over him, but my tears began anew. I just lay there, arms spread wide, staring at the rock ceiling. Eventually, I remembered a song that he and I both liked, and Proto especially enjoyed when I sang.

"She don't run from the sun no more," I sang in a shuddering voice, which wasn't bad for someone who was crying. "She boxed her shadow and she won. She said 'I can see you laugh through these bottle caps, and this wire around my neck ain't there for fun.' But some day we'll all be old and I'll be so dang beautiful!" Closing my eyes, I just couldn't help it. I was crying, but my mouth was curling into a smile. "Meanwhile I hide my head, here in this paper bag, because if I can't see you then you can't see me, and it'll be okay, fly little be away to where there's no more rain and I can be me."

Before launching into the next verse I remembered how Bass had always said this verse was so like me. I always figured it was more like him.

"Yeah, they talk about her. She smiles like she's so tough. She says 'Hey can you talk a little louder? Because I don't think my heart is broken enough.' But someday we'll all be old and I'll be so dang beautiful!"

As I continued into the chorus, I wished Bass were here. He'd hold me and comfort me like he used to. Oniichan would use his big brown traveling cloak to dry my eyes and make everything all right again.

"Some days I wade in the indigo, singing that song on the radio. I blame these puddles on the rain…you know I gotta keep these cheeks dry today, gotta keep my cheating strategy, and baby, I'm gonna have it made!"

Sitting up, I remembered something ProtoMan had said to me a couple weeks before this whole mess had started. I had been moping for some reason, and my silver haired partner had just taken my hands and quoted from a song I later came to know.

"You can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, and life's like an hourglass glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button girl, so just cradle your head in your hands and breathe…. just breathe."

Now, once he was gone, I finally knew what those words meant. Just because bad things happened, I couldn't just jump out of life. Life would go on without me, and there's no way to take back what I do.

Oniichan and Proto gave their lives for mine. I wasn't about to let their memories, their lives be given in vain!

I wasn't gonna hide in my paper bag any longer.

AUTHORS NOTE: The song Star is singing is by Anna Nalick, from her new CD, Wreck of the Day. The song is called Paper Bag.