Chapter 11

Joey/Katie POV

"I'm sorry… I can't… it's… I'm going to bed, goodnight," I say. I had to stop the kissing. I was hiding a secret and if we became intimate it would be even harder. I run up the stairs after grabbing my shirt. This was only suppose to be a place to sleep, how had it become this.

"I can't believe that you guys kissed," Jen says. It was Sunday afternoon. Pacey had already gone to work so Jen and I went to a café for some coffee.

"Yeah well it would've gone further but I had to stop it," I reply.

"Why?" Jen asks.

"Because we don't really know much about each other," I say. That was only part of the reason though. The other part was that I was still lying to him and the closer I get the harder it is to keep my secret.

"Well that hasn't stopped Pacey before," Jen comments.

"Yeah I bet," I state. Then I pause before asking, "Can I ask you a question?"

"I think you already did," Jen replies chuckling.

"I know it's not my business and you don't have to answer. But I was just wondering who Andie was," I state a little fast.

"How did you find out about Andie?" Jen asks surprised.

"Pacey slipped and said her name but as fast as it came out he became quiet," I say, "I can understand if you wanted to keep his privacy but I'm a curious person."

"I think you should ask Pacey. That was hard to say considering my big mouth. Anyway let's go shopping and forget about this," Jen replies trying to change the subject but I just couldn't let it go.

When I got home that night I decided I was going to ask Pacey again. He walked in the door about eleven went to grab his usual beer then came to sit down on the couch, where I was already at.

"I'm sorry but I'm nosy, what happened with Andie," I say directly.

"Do you really want to know?" He asks looking me in the eye.

"Yes," I reply looking him in the eye.

"Andie was my," He pauses obviously this was difficult for him, "she was my…my wife."

"You're married?" I ask surprised.

"I was married," Pacey says emphasizing the word was.

"What happened?" I persist.

"Andie was very sick. She…," he stops again then continues, "had some mental problems."

"Oh," I manage to reply. I don't know what else to say, "I'm sorry I asked."

"No it's okay. I have to accept what happened and maybe telling you will help," Pacey says then starts again, "She ended up not getting the help she needed."

Tears started to swell in his eyes. I grabbed him into a hug as he barely managed to say, "She killed herself."

"I didn't see it," Pacey continued through the tears, "I was trying to get the restaurant off the ground."

"It's not your fault," I say as Pacey continues to break down in my arms, "How long?"

"About two years," Pacey answers. We spend the rest of the night on the couch just sitting in silence.

I think I'm going to tell Pacey that I never had amnesia. I am sitting in his office trying to get work done. However, I'm not doing a great job. I just keep thinking about everything. Pacey has been so nice to me and I've just been using him. As much as I love this life I think it's time he knew. That's it I'm going to tell him today. I say as I get up to go talk to him.