Hidden Pain

Chapter 4: Finding Out

Steadily, Draco caught up in Charms. Every other day, Draco and Hermione slowly progressed and perfected his skills. But his depression continued as his father pressured him more and more. Hermione and Draco's relationship remained at the same state that it was 7 years ago. They only talked when needed and associated with each other at the minimum level.

. & .

"Ok class, today you will finish preparing the sample of Polyjuice Potion that you started 2 weeks ago. As usual, the materials are in the cupboard," said Snape emotionlessly. Waving his hand, the instructions appeared on the board.

"Malfoy, get the cauldron," ordered Hermione.

"Don't order me Granger. Learn to respect those who are higher up than you," spat Draco.

"Fine please get the cauldron," yelled Hermione. She didn't have the energy to fight with Draco in Potions.

Smirking Draco got up and retrieved the cauldron. Fuming Hermione rearranged the ingredients in the order of which they would be used. Having already prepared this particular potion, it was little difficulty for Hermione. Soon, the class was at work putting the final touches on the potion.

"I wonder that if I drank some of this potion I could become you," sneered Draco staring revoltingly at the liquid inside the cauldron. He shuddered.

Ignoring his comment, Hermione said scathingly, "You need a hair of the person you want to turn into. "

"Oh, and how does Miss Perfect know this?" mocked Draco.

"I know because in my second year, I" stopped Hermione. Flushing, she turned away from Draco and suddenly became very interested in her nails.

"Oh, did Miss Perfect here make this and turn into someone? Were you jealous that someone hadn't snogged you? Did you change into someone who was getting attention," mocked Draco.

Hermione flushed but didn't try to straighten his distorted version of the story. She couldn't tell him that she had used to the potion to spy on him. For all she knew, Draco would go complain to Snape.

"No," she said in mock sweetness, "but if you don't shut up, I will force some of this down your throat which contains Goyle's hair."

Draco's eyes widened and his smirk quickly vanished. He sneered as he slowly pulled the sleeve of his left arm up to itch his arm. That's when Hermione saw it; 3 thin long deep cuts that hadn't healed yet.

Hermione's eyes widened as she saw the marks. Had that been an accident?

"Malfoy, you hurt your arm," she said casually. Draco looked down alarmed and quickly pushed the cloth back over the marks.

"Yeah, I uh must have hurt myself unknowingly. I'll visit Madam Pomfrey later," stammered Draco.

"They looked fresh," said Hermione uncertainly, "Maybe you should go now."

"I will," snapped Draco, "Why do you give a damn anyways?"

Hermione didn't say anything. She had never seen Draco look so uncomfortable in her life at Hogwarts. The cuts looked too perfect to be an accident. With a jolt, she remembered the red stain near the door a month ago. Was that not juice but his blood? Was Malfoy cutting himself? And if he was then why? There was the fact that he was falling behind in his classes; maybe that was causing him to cut himself. But that was unlike Malfoy; in the past when he was dropping he simply worked harder himself. There must be something horrible if he's resorting to such measures.

Hermione bit her lip as she stared at the desk. She didn't have any proof. The only thing she could do would be to keep a really close eye on Draco when he was in the Heads' room. Maybe she could catch him in the act or find a clue or two that would explain if he was harming himself.

For the rest of the class, Hermione simply sat in her seat musing over what she had seen. Draco wandered around the class harassing random Gryffindors and talking to Crabbe and Goyle. An argument between Harry and Draco caused a whole cauldron to fall over drenching half the class with the potion in the process. As a result, both Harry and Draco received detention with Snape. At the end of class Hermione dutifully delivered a flask of the potion to Snape and then left with Harry and Ron.

. & .

"Hey Hermione," said Ron as they climbed the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. "Why were you so preoccupied today during Potions?"

"I just had something on my mind," said Hermione her cheeks turning pink.

"Caputnis," said Harry to the Fat Lady.

"Oh, it feels so great to be here," sighed Hermione throwing herself into the armchair next to the fire.

"Yeah, we've missed you," said Harry. "We haven't had much time to talk with Quidditch practices."

"I'll say," grumbled Ron. "He keeps us out there for freaking 4 hours."

"And on top of that you have Head Duties," continued Harry ignoring Ron.

"I'll say," muttered Ron. "Especially with that Ferret you have to work with."

"And then, there's the whole boyfriend reputation I have to keep up," finished Harry.

"I'll say," started Ron.

"I think you've said enough," said Ginny coming behind Harry.

Ginny leaned over and kissed Harry sweetly on the lips. Harry pulled her so she was sitting on his lap. Ginny blushed as Harry pulled her close to him. Ginny tangled her fingers in his hair. Ron grimaced and turned his head away as his sister and best friend slowly started kissing. It started innocent but soon Ron was getting quite red.

"I think you understand now why I really need you here," said Ron turning red. "Anyways how's life with Malfoy that Ferret?"

"MALFOY!" shouted Hermione standing up. She quickly gathered her bag and supplies and started walking towards the portrait.

"Where are you going Hermione?" asked Ron practically yelling. "Why did the name of that Ferret shake you up?"

"I just uh remembered that um we have an uh um a tutoring lesson now," said Hermione smiling sweetly trying to cover up her bluff.

Before Ron could say another word however, Hermione had left the common room. Frowning to himself, Ron turned back to facing the fireplace. It was all very confusing.

"Hey Harry," said Ron, staring into the fire. "HARRY!"

Harry broke apart glaring at Ron.

"What is it?" he huffed angrily.

"Hermione just left. And that too because I mentioned Malfoy. She was acting very strange. She told me that they had a tutoring session."

Harry furrowed his brows wrinkling his forehead in the process. "But that can't be right; the Slytherins have Quidditch practice right now. Me and the idiotic Slytherin captain were fighting over the pitch."

"That means she lied," said Ron turning back to the fire. "But why would she? Is there something going one between Hermione and Malfoy? What do you think Harry? Harry?"

But when he turned around he let out a groan; Harry and Ginny were at it again. Burying his head in his hands, he huffed. There was something mysterious happening with Hermione and Ron was determined to get to the bottom of it. With or with out Harry's help.

. & .

Hermione practically ran to the Heads room. Breathing hard, she looked around the common room but found no one there. "Draco must doing homework in the library or is at Quidditch practice," she thought. "I might as well start my homework so I can help Malfoy with his later if necessary."

Slowly, the hours passed by but there was no sign of Draco. Hermione steadily moved through her homework, had dinner at the Great Hall, and finished her book when Draco finally walked through the doors. Hermione looked at him and nearly choked; he looked horrible. His eyes were sagging, his lips were turned down, and his clothes were beyond horribly wrinkled.

"Look Granger," said Draco emotionlessly, "I can't get tutored today. I actually went to Quidditch practice today and did a pile of homework."

Hermione simply stared as he went into his room and shut the door; he didn't come out for the rest of the evening. What did he mean by actually? Had he been bailing out on previous practices? This wasn't the Malfoy that she had "known" for several years.

She spent the rest of the evening musing over the incidents of the day but when night came she hadn't made much progress. Sighing she left her book on the side table and went to bed; maybe she would have a breakthrough tomorrow.

. & .

The next morning Hermione stood in the shower, letting the warm water wash over her. Suddenly, she heard a knock at the door.

"Who is it," called Hermione.

"Who else could it be?" snapped Malfoy's voice irritably.

"What do you want?" asked Hermione.

"I need to get some medicine from my side," snarled Draco. "Hurry up."

"Can't you go to Madam Pomfrey," said Hermione pleadingly.

"No I can't," said Draco. "Now get out."

Hermione groaned and grabbed her lavender towel from the rack. Wrapping it firmly around herself, she shut the water and opened the door. Draco stood in front of her holding his left arm out. A deep cut that was bleeding profusely caused Hermione to gasp.

"Can you please move?' snarled Draco.

He then rushed over to the sink and went it under the water. But it wasn't doing anything; the blood kept coming.

"Here," said Hermione unable to stand it any longer.

She walked over still in her towel, her wet hair falling around her shoulder, and grasped Draco's arm. She went over to her side of the bathroom and took out a Muggle antiseptic kit. She first sealed his cut with her wand and then dabbed the cut with antiseptic causing Draco to curse. She then applied some medicine.

"There," said Hermione softly. She started to pull up his sleeve inconspicuously. Maybe she would be able to see if there were many more cuts. But Draco pulled his arm away and examined the cut.

"Well uh thanks," said Draco. It was obviously hard for him to say that. He then swept from the bathroom Hermione looking after him.

As Hermione went to her room and dressed, she thought about what she just had seen. He had been very reluctant to see Madam Pomfrey. Was that because there were more scars under the sleeve? He had snatched his arm away when she tried pulling his sleeve higher.

. & .

Draco cursed as he entered the Heads' room hours after classes. He knew that Hermione was up to something. Why else had she tried to push his sleeve up? He knew that she suspected something after she saw the cuts yesterday in Potions. If only he had twisted his arm away from her viewpoint; he should have known that she would have been nosy. He'd have to be more careful.

Yawning, he entered his room. Glancing at the clock, he saw that he only had about 5 minutes before he needed to go patrolling. He lifted his sleeve and looked at his cut. It was still fresh but after the treatment Hermione had given him, it had started healing. This was his biggest cut yet. Around it were small and some large cuts.

He heard the door open and quickly looked around the room making sure that there were no signs of blood or his knife. He then opened the door and saw Hermione nestled on the couch reading her book.

"Um, you might want to stop reading that book because we have to go patrolling in 5 minutes," said Draco sneering.

Hermione's eyes flashed. "I didn't know you cared Malfoy," she snarled.

She placed her book aside as Malfoy left the room. The two walked their usual path down the corridors of Hogwarts, taking points of students who were misbehaving and displaying public affection. Draco particularly delighted in making the punishments particularly painful.

"You shouldn't be so mean on those first years," said Hermione annoyed.

"Why? That's the only way they're going to learn," said Draco scathingly.

"You reduced that girl back there to tears," shouted Hermione. "Can't you be kinder about it? Why are you always walking over everyone?"

Draco opened his mouth but was interrupted by a timid first year.

"Are you Draco Malfoy?" asked the boy timidly.

"Yes," said Draco regally.

"I have a message here for you. It was lying in the Owlery," said the boy holding out a piece of parchment.

Hermione watched in interest as Draco snatched the paper, ripped off the envelope, opened it, and quickly read it. His eyes grew wide and his face paled as he crumpled the paper. Hermione watched shocked and in horror as Draco took off down the halls towards the Heads room.

Hermione waited until he disappeared across the corner and then took off after him. Her feet pattered behind him noiselessly. Very carefully, she opened the door to the Heads room and closed it behind her. Tiptoeing across the room, she paused outside Draco's room.

Draco cursed as he ripped the letter. Yelling, he picked up a vase and threw it across the room smashing it. He plunged his hand under his bed and brought out his knife. It was getting too much for him. Everything was moving too fast for him. Not caring if it hurt him, he slashed the blade against his skin. Everything disappeared as he focused on his blood flowing down his arm. Everything vanished as he let his blood cover the pain in his heart.

Until he heard a gasp from the door of his bedroom.

A/N: Please Review.