Hidden Pain
Chapter 5: Suspicions
Hermione was standing in front of his door, her hand over her mouth. Draco tried in vain to hide the knife and his arm but it was too late. The damage was done.
"Malfoy," she started.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!' he roared. "CAN'T YOU KNOCK?"
Hermione pretended not to hear him. "Malfoy, that's really dangerous. You could really hurt yourself," she stammered.
Her brown eyes widened in fright as Malfoy got up and walked towards her his gray eyes burning with anger. His 6-foot frame towered over her 5 foot 6 height. He stopped 7 feet away from her.
"GET OUT! YOU WILL NOT MENTION WHAT YOU SAW TO ANY SOUL," he roared.
"This isn't the way to solve anything Malfoy. Listen to me; there are more ways to solve problems," pleaded Hermione.
"I SAID GET OUT! IF YOU TELL ANYONE I WILL PERSONALLY HEX YOU TO DEATH," yelled Draco apparently not hearing a word she said.
Hermione opened her mouth but Draco walked over, reached over and grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back causing Hermione to whimper.
"If you tell anyone I will make sure that no one hears you again. This is my life and you have no right to know what I'm doing. Forget you ever saw it," hissed Draco his eyes burning.
He brutally pushed Hermione out of the door and slammed it in her face. Hermione turned around slowly, a tear falling down her cheek.
"How can I forget it?" she whispered.
. & .
The rest of the night Hermione lay awake staring at the ceiling above her. She had been right; Draco was harming himself. But why? Was there something really horrible in his life that was causing him to brutally slash himself like that? What was in that letter that made him tear away like that? But Hermione was sure of one thing; Draco was in trouble and needed help.
. & .
The next morning, Hermione dragged herself of bed, ready to hex Draco and make him listen to her. But when she left her room, he was nowhere in sight. Sighing, she resigned herself to a hot shower and changed. When she left the room, she saw a note taped to the door.
Granger,
Dumbledore wants us to meet him at lunch.
Malfoy
Shrugging, she took off the note and threw it away. She then went to the Great Hall halfheartedly and sat next to Harry and Ron.
"Good morning Ron, good morning Harry," she said tiredly as she took a seat in between the boys.
"Good morning Hermione," said Harry before turning to speak to Ginny.
"Good morning, Hello," said Ron turning to face Hermione. "What happened to you?"
"Nothing, what do you mean?" said Hermione helping herself to eggs and toast.
"You have black circles under your eyes and you look dead," said Ron worriedly. "Are you sick?"
"Oh no," said Hermione, "I'm fine. I had a lot of homework last night that's all."
"Really?" said Ron. "That's funny. Anyways, about yesterday.."
Hermione spaced out. She had just looked over at the Slytherin table and seen Draco sitting amongst his friends. But his face was drawn out and worried and he wasn't eating anything. His eyes were drooping and were surrounded by black circles. Hermione felt her heart ache and felt tears rise to the surface. Draco looked up as if he knew someone was looking at him. His gray eyes met Hermione's brown eyes and he didn't move them. Hermione felt like crying as she stared into his eyes. There was the defiance and the arrogance that he was known for but underneath Hermione could see the pain, the helplessness, and the need for someone. Then an owl dropped in front of Draco breaking their exchange.
"So what did you think Hermione," said Ron. Hermione kept staring at Draco until Ron tapped her on the shoulder. He had seen her staring at Malfoy.
"Hermione, did you hear what I said?" asked Ron, "And why are you crying?"
Hermione sniffed and wiped her cheek. Only then did she realize that tears had fallen down her cheeks.
"Oh nothing," said Hermione looking down at her plate.
"Anyways what did you think of what I just said," said Ron prodding Hermione.
"Excuse me Ron. I'm sorry," said Hermione suddenly. She had just seen Draco's face turn the same way it had when they were in the hall. He got up quickly and made his way towards the exit his face tight and drawn.
"Harry," said Hermione scrambling up and over the bench, "can I use your invisibility cloak?"
"Um sure," said Harry taking it out of his bag and giving it to Hermione, "But why?"
"I'll tell you later," said Hermione quickly placing it over herself and following Draco.
Ron gaped as Hermione vanished. He looked around him and saw Malfoy leaving the hall. The next second Hermione had left the hall. Was she following him?
"Harry," said Ron.
"What's up Ron," said Harry turning to face Ron.
"There's something up with Hermione," said Ron worriedly.
"Like what?" said Harry laughing.
"Didn't you see? She was staring at Malfoy and she had tears running down her cheeks. And then Malfoy got up and left the hall and Hermione followed. There's something really weird going on Harry," said Ron desperately.
"And yesterday she lied about the tutoring session," said Harry slowly.
"I'm worried Harry. I have to know if something is wrong," said Ron.
"Look Ron. Maybe she needs time by herself," said Harry though he didn't sounds too sure. "We don't have any proof right now. If she keeps it up then we'll see. It could be sheer coincidence that they left at the same time."
"Maybe," said Ron doubtfully. He fell silent as he mulled over the topic. But he decided that whenever they had Potions, he would keep a close eye on Hermione.
. & .
Hermione quietly followed Draco down the halls lifting the cloak so she wouldn't fall over and get caught. After yesterday's fiasco, she didn't need Draco to find out that she was following him. She needed to run silently to keep up with his fast stride. The letter was clutched and crumpled in his hand and he was swearing under his breath. Out of breath and trying to keep her breath shallow, Hermione ran as Draco led her up to the 5th floor. Finally, Draco pushed open the doors to the Owlery. Thankfully, he pushed them wide enough so Hermione could slip in.
Hermione positioned herself as far as possible from Draco and huddled in a corner, making herself as small as possible. Draco grabbed his owl from the rack and brutally put it next to him. Hermione wanted to yell and to scream but she contained her feelings as she scrutinized Draco. Draco pulled out a piece of fresh parchment and wrote on it quickly. In the process he knocked the letter on the floor, which rolled under the desk.
Dear Father,
I am looking forward to the initiation in the spring and am very pleased to know that you have made reservations for me to humbly serve his "majesty".
Your son, Draco
Draco folded the letter and tied to the owl's leg. After releasing it, he walked to the middle of the room and stamped upon the floor. It finally occurred to him what he had done.
"Bloody hell," he swore. "Why do I always do that? Why don't I have enough strength to go against you? Why?"
"Someone please tell me," screamed Draco pulling his hair. "Please tell me, why am I not strong enough to stand up to you? What's wrong with me? I don't want to be a Death Eater. So why can't I tell you?"
It was too much for Draco. At the end of his last statement, he fell on his knees and put his face in his hands. To her shock, Hermione realized that Draco was crying. Tears slipped through his fingers and fell on the floor. Unknowingly, silent tears dripped from Hermione's eyes and fell on her hands.
"No one cares for me. My mom always sides with my dad. My dad doesn't give a damn about me. What about my wishes? Am I not a person too?" he roared.
"Aren't I worth something,' he said softly tears falling down his cheeks.
Sighing, he simply hunched in the middle of the floor until he was emotionally stable. He picked himself up, adjusted his collar and clothes, and then left the owlery.
Hermione stood up shakily and pulled off the invisibility cloak. As she watched Draco swish away, she felt her heart ache. She had never seen this side of Draco before. He seemed human for once.
Quickly before he remembered his letter, Hermione rushed over to the counter and pulled out the crumpled piece of parchment. She ran from the owlery until she was a floor beneath it. Panting, she collapsed against the wall and smoothed the letter.
Draco,
I sent you a letter yesterday telling you my plans. I have arranged with majesty for your inauguration during the fall. All is now certain. Do not fail in your duties at school. Otherwise a "suitable punishment" will be given.
Lucius
Hermione gasped as she looked up. Draco's dad was forcing him to become a Death Eater? That would explain why he was so mad at her a few months ago when she accused him of siding with the Dark Lord. Was his father causing Draco to cut himself? From what she had just heard, Draco couldn't stand up to his father. Was that causing self-hate and hatred towards his father? Because he couldn't physically do anything and it hurt him, he turned to physical pain to relieve the emotional pain? And what did Lucius mean by suitable punishment? Was Draco abused or tortured when he didn't listen?
Hermione frowned as she held the letter in her left hand. She would have to talk to Draco during Potions about his problem whether he didn't like it or not. Glancing at her watch, Hermione gasped in shock. She had been busy musing over the letter than she was 5 minutes late for Potions. Alarmed, Hermione grabbed her bag and took off down the hall towards her class. In record time, she reached her class and threw open the door breathing hard. The entire class turned as one to see who was late.
"Ah, thank you for coming to class Miss Granger. Why are you late?" asked Snape silkily turning away from the blackboard where the instructions were written.
"Oh, I um," stuttered Hermione walking towards her seat "I had to get something from my room and I lost track of the time."
"Be as that may, 5 points from Gryffindor. Take your seat. Mr. Malfoy will tell you what needs to be done," said Snape.
"Yes sir," said Hermione as she hastily crammed the letter into her bag and sat down.
As soon as the class started working, Draco turned towards Hermione with a sneer.
"We have to make the Felix Felicis potion today. Since you decided not to come for the beginning five minutes I had to get all the ingredients and cauldron," said Draco hotly standing up.
"Thank you," said Hermione softly standing next to him and arranging the ingredients.
For a while, the pair worked silently to make the potion. Hermione didn't realize the pair of brown eyes that a red headed boy had trained on her. Inside, she was bursting to ask Malfoy what was wrong and to help him. For the first time, she didn't care how this potion turned out. Finally, when the potion was required to simmer for 10 minutes, she turned to face Malfoy.
"Malfoy," she started hesitantly, "I've got to talk to you."
"About what," sneered Draco, "we've got nothing to talk about."
"You know what I need to talk to you about," said Hermione evenly. "The scene I saw yesterday. That's dangerous Malfoy. You could really hurt yourself."
"Oh you're a genius Granger," spat Draco. "I don't want to talk about it least of all to you."
He started to turn away but Hermione roughly grabbed him by his robe and pulled him back to face her. Draco was too shocked to throw an insult at her. She stepped closer to him and placed her hands on his shoulders.
Across the room, Ron was staring at the pair with a shocked expression on his face. He felt his blood boil when Hermione grabbed Draco by his robes. What was going on? Hermione had a look of concern on her face. Did she like him?
"Listen Malfoy, there is something really horrible in your life if it's causing you to do this," said Hermione. "But cutting isn't going to help you. It's only going to help in the short term. It's not to help solving the problem long term. You're letting that piece of sharp metal control your life. You need help."
"Are you saying that I'm mental? Look who's talking," spat Draco.
"Draco!" shouted Hermione, here eyes flashing. Immediately she clapped her hand over her mouth. Gathering herself together again, she started once more.
"I mean Malfoy," she corrected. "Why don't you tell someone your problems and get advice. Don't resort to cutting."
Hermione was so intent on lecturing Draco that she didn't realize that their potion had started smoking. Thin lines of black smoke rose from the cauldron.
"Well, well, what do we have here," said Snape striding down the row and stopping in front of Hermione and Draco. Hermione was so intense that she didn't even see Snape until he tapped her on the shoulder.
"Please, keep your love out of the class," said Snape smoothly. With a wave of his wand, the smoke stopped billowing out of the cauldron.
Hermione blinked and blushed as she realized how close she was standing to Draco. Her hands were resting on his shoulders and his hand was near her waist. Ron had heard everything; after class he was going to interrogate her at lunch. Quickly, Hermione and Draco stepped apart and continued working. Fortunately for them, no one had paid attention to the exchange between the two. The rest of the class passed without any further disturbances. Finally, when the bell rang Draco grabbed his bag and out the class. Hermione stayed behind staring at his retreating back with a sorrowful look in her eyes.
"Look at her Harry," whispered Ron pointing at Hermione. "It's as if she's in love with him."
"We'll ask her at lunch," said Harry, walking up to Hermione. "Hey Hermione, ready to go?"
"Oh, hello Harry. Yes," said Hermione breathlessly planting a fake smile on her face. But when Ron looked closely he could see the worry reflected in her eyes.
"So Hermione," asked Ron, "Why were you late for class?"
"You heard what I said to Professor Snape," said Hermione seating herself between Harry and Ron.
"I went to the Heads Room though," fibbed Ron. "And no one answered."
"Oh, I must have been in the bathroom or something," said Hermione her cheeks growing hot.
"Ok," said Ron though he didn't sound very sure.
"What was going on between you and Malfoy," said Harry suspiciously holding a spoonful of stew to his mouth.
"Oh, I was uh just trying to convince Draco of something we needed to do for the potion," lied Hermione.
"Draco," said Ron incredulously.
"Oh, I mean Malfoy,' stammered Hermione shaking her head. Suddenly, she remembered that she had to meet Professor Dumbledore. "Look you guys, Professor Dumbledore wanted to meet me at lunch today so if you'll excuse me I need to be going."
"Thank god for that meeting," thought Hermione as she ran. "I was really getting myself in a tight fix."
"Harry," blurted out Ron after she left, "She called him Draco!"
"I know," said Harry furrowing his eyebrows. "There IS something peculiar going on with Hermione."
. & .
Hermione ran up the flight of stairs until she reached Dumbledore's office.
"Acid pops," she panted.
Immediately the gargoyle sprang aside revealing the staircase to Dumbledore's office. Hermione hitched up her book bag and ran up the stairs and rapped on the door 4 times.
"Enter," called Dumbledore.
Hermione opened the door and silently walked to the desk. Draco was already sitting across Dumbledore. Hermione strode forward and sat down; Draco was determinedly keeping his eyes on the Headmaster's face.
"I'm sorry that I called you at this particular time," said Dumbledore folding his hands upon his desk.
"As you know the Christmas Ball will be held in the Great Hall. However, because of the rather appalling scenes that took place last year, we have limited the ball to 6th and 7th years. Anyone younger will not be permitted even if they are accompanied by a 6th or 7th year. Please spread the word by telling Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw prefects who can then tell their entire house at once. You can tell your respective houses later in the evening."
"Finally, I would like to say that as Head Boy and Head Girl it is your duty to start the ball and end it. Therefore you two shall dance the first dance. There are no exceptions," said Dumbledore sternly as he saw both their mouths open in protest.
"Thank you for coming. I don't wish for you to spend the entire lunch in here so specifics will be written on a flier in your rooms," said Dumbledore as he stood up.
Hermione and Draco stood up without looking at each other and left the room quietly. Dumbledore watched them with twinkling eyes. He knew that something would come out of their hateful relationship.
. & .
Later that night, Hermione said the password to the Fat Lady and climbed into the portrait hall.
"Hello everyone," she yelled standing on the table but no one listened to her.
"Ok everyone," roared Harry. "Hermione has something to tell; shut up or I will make you!" Harry who stood on the table and shot scarlet firecrackers out of his wand restored order. He then got off and resumed his spot next to Ginny and wrapped his arm around her waist.
"Thank you Harry," said Hermione gratefully. "Ok, I have a message to tell on behalf of the Christmas Ball. This year only 6th and 7th year students are allowed."
"Why?' said a first year crinkling her nose.
"Because there were some rather um disturbing scenes displayed last year," explained Hermione.
"Like what? Can you show me?" asked the first year.
Hermione's eyes bulged as she covered her laugh with a hacking cough.
"Me and Ginny will show you," said Harry slyly.
"Harry," started Hermione but was silenced by a look from Harry.
Harry grabbed Ginny and placed her mouth on hers making the common room fall silent in shock. Ginny scrambled up and sat on Harry wrapping her legs around him. She tangled her hands in Harry's hair as she deepened the kiss. Harry slipped his hands under her shirt. The first year was staring at Harry looking scandalized. Seamus and the rest of the common room stared at Ron who was wincing and looking at the ceiling his face very red. Finally when it was becoming too intense, Ron walked over and tapped Ginny on the shoulder.
"Yes, well anyways that answers the question," said Ginny wiping her mouth her hair very messy.
Hermione cleared her throat and glared at Harry who was acting like nothing happened. The first year was looking rather green in the face.
"Anyways, the Head Boy and I are in charge of the decorations. It is a formal occasion so dresses and suits are a must. There will be a special Hogwarts weekend this Saturday, which is the 2nd, which is in two days, for the shopping. The ball will be held on December 9th, which is a Saturday so students can attend the ball and go home on the 15th if they wish. Any questions?"
The common room shook their heads and the first through fifth years marched off dejected. Hermione jumped gracefully off the table and started pinning several pieces of paper of the Gryffindor bulletin board.
"So Ginny, "said Harry holding Ginny's hand in his, "come with me to my dorm will you?"
"Sure," said Ginny getting off Harry. Together they walked hand in hand to Harry's dorm.
Harry shut the door behind him and went to his bed. He pulled out a dozen red roses and hid them behind his back. He walked to Ginny.
"Milady," he said bowing, "Will you do me the honor of going with me to the dance?"
He held out the roses causing Ginny to gasp. She pulled Harry up and gently took the roses blushing.
"Hmm," she said mocking, "Let me think."
She walked until she was nose to nose with Harry. Then she pressed her lips to his. She pushed Harry until they pull on his bed, Ginny on top. Harry deepened the kiss and flipped them over. The roses scattered over the white bedspread. He pressed his body to Ginny's and placed one hand on either side of her head. After a few minutes of heating snogging, Harry's hand found one of the roses and leaned back. Ginny's face was flushed and her lips were rosy. Harry took the rose and ran it from the tip of her forehead, down her face, down her neck, and down the exposed skin of her extremely low cut shirt. Ginny shivered as she yanked Harry's robes and shirt off.
"Oh my god," she groaned flipping them over, "I love your chest."
"Hey Harry," said Ron coming in. "OH MY GOD! DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS HAVE TO BE DOING THESE THINGS?"
Ron quickly turned around at the sight of his sister on top of a shirtless Harry.
"And do you always have to interrupt?" roared Ginny.
"Sorry Gin," said Ron hurriedly. He turned around after Ginny climbed off Harry. "Harry, you got to help me. I want to ask Hermione to the Winter Ball. But I'm so nervous."
Harry took one look at Ron's face and burst out laughing. Ron was trembling and his face was pale.
"Look mate," said Harry getting off the bed," It's very easy. Go down, give her a dozen roses, and ask her sweetly. She's bound to say yes."
"That's easy for you to say," complained Ron. "I mean practically every girl in the school wants you. Look Harry; I told you over the summer. I love Hermione. I don't just like her; I love her."
"Ok Ron, look. I know that, Ginny knows that but Hermione doesn't. Ask her to the dance; then at the ball you can tell her your true feelings. If it helps I'll come," yawned Harry. Ron's eyes lit up.
"Ok," he said turning towards the door. "But I don't have any roses."
Harry rolled his eyes and flicked his wand. Immediately a dozen pink roses appeared in Ron's arms. Harry scrambled after him but Ginny grabbed his arm.
"I better come with you gorgeous," she growled in Harry's ear. "Do you think I'm that crazy to leave you looking like that in a common room full of girls."
Together Ron, Harry, and Ginny went down the stairs. The common room fell silent as Harry walked out. Girls' jaws dropped in awe as they saw Harry's stomach. He was no longer the skinny lean body that had set foot in Hogwarts. His shoulders were broad and well defined. His jeans were low slung showing off the top of his blue boxers. His hair was rumpled and his six-pack was clearly defined.
"Hey, take your eyes off him," snapped Ginny. "This witch doesn't share."
Ron waited until the common room became noisy again before walking over to Hermione nervously. Harry and Ginny stood a few feet away giving Ron encouraging looks.
"Hey um Hermione," said Ron.
"Hi Ron," said Hermione smiling radiantly.
"Um would you like to go to the ball with me?" asked Ron quickly holding out the roses.
Hermione studied his face before smiling warmly. "I would love to Ron," she said accepting the roses.
"By the way, I'm really sorry about blowing you off at lunch today. Dumbledore needed to explain about the Christmas Ball," said Hermione. "Anyways, I need to be going now. I have another load of homework today."
"Ok," said Ron smiling. Hermione waved and left the room. Ron practically bounced over to Harry and Ginny who were smiling.
"That's great Ron. I'm really happy for you," said Harry sincerely. There was no need for words. Harry could see the excited expression radiating from his megawatt grin.
"I have to go tell people," he said delightedly.
"Well," said Ginny in Harry's ear and tracing a finger down his chest," Can we finish our unfinished business?"
Harry smirked as he and Ginny walked rather very quickly back to his room. Harry closed the door behind him and put a locking charm on it.
The next second he had placed his lips on hers and pushed onto his bed.
A/N: Hey! Please Review! I'll post faster if I get a lot of reviews! Sorry for putting a little Harry/Ginny. I like including them as well.