Chapter 3: daydreams
So far:

Hermione had a nervous breakdown (due to NEWTs), threw her book at a wall and decided a walk outside might help. For some reason, Snape joins her and explains she has pretty much mastered her NEWTs already. He appears more despaired than usual but Hermione doesn't notice. Snape leaves after a small offensive remark by Hermione leaving her feeling slightly guilty and confused.

Three days later Snape finds out his baby sister, closest to him, has died of a mysterious disease. He arrives late for class, with an air of depression and arouses the curiosity of his students, including Hermione. She decides to research what could cause his despondency, starting with a weeks worth of daily prophets. She finds out about his sister.

After a class which involved Hermione staring at Snape and managing to unnerve him, she falls and hits her head. While in the hospital wing, Harry and Ron manage to squeeze the good out of Hermione about Snape's behaviour. Hermione in turn learns that he will be leaving for a weekend.

She also starts to feel the start of a small crush on Snape forming and is shocked at herself.
Every minute of every hour that Thursday was getting more and more painful. Hermione felt at though, on top of new feelings, she was sharing Snape's burden of pain. She had never met this Stella person but that morning at breakfast she had looked his way and caught the sad glint in his eyes.

It was then that she started to wonder how it must feel to lose a sister who you were close to. Although she knew that her misery was nothing compared to his, she began to get a vague idea.

The further on in the day it got, the more she thought about how upset he must be. The harder she thought, the more depressed she herself got.

By the evening Harry and Ron were starting to worry about her.
She sighed for the fifth time that minute as she added the finishing touches to her Transfiguration essay. Her quill made scratchy noises that were annoying her progressively. Her hair fell in front of her face as usual in a curly brown curtain.

Ron had had enough. He slammed his quill down and spattered ink on his own essay. Turning to Hermione he frowned.

"What's going on?" he snapped in aggravation, turning to stare at Hermione.

She looked up, genuinely surprised.

"Huh?" wearing a perplexed look.

Harry looked up from his work to watch.

"What's with you today?" he continued, "Ever since this morning you've been getting sadder and sadder. Why?" he asked forcefully.

"I-w-I-" stammered Hermione, not quite knowing how to reply. Ron raised his eyebrows to her, showing he was waiting for her answer. "I... don't know," she finished lamely.

Ron scowled, "You don't know why you're upset?" there was a large dose of sarcasm that came with that comment. She didn't dare nod. She didn't want to let on how much she was thinking of Severus Snape.

"I'm panicking about the NEWTs," coming up with the solution as she said it, sounding convincingly culpable. Ron's glower softened as he appeared to understand.

"Oh... I'd thought that after that walk outside almost a week ago... well..." he muttered looking like it was somehow his fault, "that you were pretty much over the stress of studying..." she felt a little sorry for Ron. He had been able to read her well for once and she had to make out that he hadn't.

"Well," she said, trying to hint that he was getting better at reading her, "it was an easy mistake to make. Instead of getting angry with studying, I was getting upset." It sounded slightly stupid to her but both Harry and Ron lapped it up.

"Maybe you should get an early night," suggested Harry, trying to be helpful. She smiled gratefully at them.

"Thank you, for being so understanding," she said and hugged them both before heading up to bed.

...

As she began to take off her school robes, her mind began to wander again. With every ounce of concentration she could muster she steered her thoughts clear of any fantasies, for the moment.

As soon as she was changed and under the safety of her bed covers then she would let the fantasies come gladly, one after the other. Well, maybe not gladly. She had still not come to full terms with the fact that she liked Severus Snape, Potions Master.

She found that, before her head had even hit the pillow, he had already taken over her thoughts.

With a small, nervous smile, she snuggled up under the sheets and pinched her eyes shut.
Hermione woke up feeling a thousand times better and very cheerful. Not only had she got a full night's sleep but she found that a portion of daydreams did the world of good for her own rising depression.

She grinned to herself, the whole time she was in the shower. As she lathered the banana shampoo into her soaking hair she attempted to relive her favourite reverie. She rinsed the sweet smelling bubbles and she felt slightly sad again, because, despite them being pleasant fantasies, that was all they were: fantasies and not reality.

Frowning reflectively, she wished strongly that these dreams were real.

The idea of liking her professor was coming a lot easier and she was warming up to it considerably. This was one of those feelings, she knew, that could only grow.

Stepping out of the shower, she seized her towel and wrapped it around her.

Maybe there was something she could do to make them reality. Although the thought terrified her at first, the more she contemplated it, the more she got excited. Her brain buzzed as she buttoned up her shirt.

As she raced down the spiral steps, a growing sensation of light-headedness took over. The image of Severus walking down the hall, cloak flowing out behind him was enough to excite her now.

Anyone who didn't really know Snape and found out she liked him would have perhaps thought her rebellious to go for a dark wizard. But the thing that put it over the edge was the fact that he had a good soul. He was merely cloaking himself with his sinister reputation.

Her fascination and interest was only stoked by his attempt to isolate himself from the rest of population.

A small plan was formulating in her mind:

First: she would test how far she could push her luck.

Second: she would find out more about him

Thirdly: she would catch him off guard

Fourth: (this part was sad but had to be done) cover it all up again

That summed up her plan, with practically no detail. Today they had one last Potions lesson before next Monday and she would put forth phase one of her idea.

She met the boys at the portrait hole and walked silently with them as they pushed open the frame of the fat lady and strolled down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Luckily they just assumed her silence was due to her "depression caused by the NEWTs".

She was now incredibly nervous. How exactly had she imagined she could pull this off?
Severus woke up under his dark green sheets and for a few minutes forgot that Stella as dead. Everything was normal and he was at peace. It was only when he realised he shouldn't be at peace that it came back and swamped him, very nearly choking him.

He was quickly coming to terms with her decease. He had already accepted the fact that there would always be an empty void inside him which could never fill and that he must learn to live with it.

He had done the same when his asshole father had killed his mother about 15 years ago. It had taken him a long time then but now he knew the stages he hoped he would be over it quicker.

He realised sadly that soon he might be the only Snape left.

He silently slipped out of the covers and changed into a long dark green bathrobe and made his way over to his shower.
Morning came and went, as did lunch and by the time it was Potions Hermione could have sworn her heart was pounding in her throat. But just because she was nervous did not mean that she would chicken out.

Taking an enormously deep breath as they waited outside the dungeons in line, she looked at Harry and Ron to make sure they weren't watching her. She didn't want another "confrontation".

Snape was on his to let them into the class and when he billowed past Hermione had to restrain herself from smelling his scent and closing her eyes. She couldn't fight the small rush of blood to her cheeks however. She hoped no one had noticed.

His slender hands grasped the metal ring and he pulled the door open. The classes filed past him, Slytherins first. When Hermione had to shuffle by him she thought it wise not to look at him, seeing how she had made a fool of herself last time staring at him.

She took her place near Harry and Ron as usual. And the lesson began.
Hermione patiently worked through the potion, waiting nervously to the end of class, when part one of her plan would be set into motion. Although she appeared cool, and refrained from looking at him at all, in an attempt to cancel out her gawking at him all last time, she tapped her foot feverishly under the table the whole time.

Finally the lesson drew to an end.

As the students trumped back out through the door in their usual monotonous way, Hermione stayed behind. Since it was the last lesson of the day, there was no rush.

Snape gave her an icy glare when she did not leave. He was not aware that it would not affect her and made her want to smile, of course she more sense than to do so.

His glare deepened when she began to approach.

"What is it this time Miss Granger?" he sighed sarcastically. Hermione knew to leave her answer until she was standing right in front of him. But to stop him thinking she had just ignored him she looked up and caught his gaze.

She really, really loved his eyes, she concluded as she looked deep into them, so captivating and powerful, maybe even mysterious.

When she was standing less than a foot away she replied.

"I'm so sorry about Stella..." she mumbled and looked at him compassionately. He froze sharply. Never taking his eyes off of hers she managed to read the reeling emotions in them. First there was a rush of grief followed by a hint of confusion then a little anger crept into his features.

"How-" he started then stopped. He was going to ask how she found out, but remembering who she was he realised it didn't matter. "Forget it," he sighed gloomily.

Hermione dared to move forward. Here goes. She reached forward and put a hesitant but comforting hand on his upper arm. He flinched in surprise, but did not move away. After a short expression of confusion, Hermione spoke.

"I really am sorry," she said sincerely, "If there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask." Snape stayed silent but nodded.

With a gentle squeeze, she let go and turned to leave. She knew she appeared as cool as she had intended and was really happy. Inside her heart was pounding against her rib cage so hard that she felt she had just run a mile in under five minutes.

As she walked through the doorway she wondered if it were possible she was the only student who had voluntarily touched Professor Snape. To feel his warmth through the sleeve of his robes made her heart race even faster.

The second she had turned and was out of his sight she leaned against the stone wall, put a hand just bellow her neck tilted her head towards the ceiling. Breathing in deeply, she tried to get as much oxygen as she could to her brain. Maybe she was just making a big deal of this stupid crush or it could be that it was more than that.

Stage 1: complete. She now could predict a little, the outcome of Stage three. He had not jerked his arm away as she had been afraid he would.
Snape watched her leave, not quite sure of what just happened. He did not understand the girl. She had just come up to him and apologised for his loss then touched his arm. Why? What was that Granger-girl playing at? It had been very Gryffindor-like of her to try and be the only one who would be there for him.

He shivered. Her talk implied she wanted some kind of friendship or anything...-something other than a teacher-student relationship. He shoved that thought away. Not possible. It probably just came out wrong.

But it was sweet of her at the same time. He could not believe himself for thinking that. But he admitted to himself that he did, in fact, appreciate the gesture. Unusually enough he was glad someone knew and cared, other than Dumbledore. The last person he expected sympathy from, however, was the one girl who had never got less than one hundred percent on her work, yet he had never given her the slightest hint of recognition. Now she was coming to him with compassion? He shook his head. He did not understand.

Now he thought about it, he realised she did not look much like the girl he had once taught. The change of hair had made the transformation more obvious. She was now an attractive young woman, not that it was his place to judge. He did not comprehend his own thoughts any longer. Everything just got flipped upside-down.

But despite his confusion he still felt grateful for her sympathy, much to his surprise.
So sorry for the short chapter. Really.

PLEASE review – is it too boring? Do I need to have more funny things to lighten the mood? Would lightening the mood ruin the story?

I really hope it's not boring.

Love n stuff! Thank you reviewers!

Snakecharmer