Peyton sighed as she walked aimlessly around the store filled with its way too expensive trinkets and gadgets. If it was hard picking out a present for Brooke Scott, the woman who had everything, it was near impossible to choose a joint anniversary gift for her and her as opposite as could be husband.

"Wow", Amanda looked around wide eyed. "This place has some nice stuff."

Peyton agreed, she just had no idea what to pick. On the way home after school they had swung by one of the more upscale malls to pick up a gift for Lucas and Brooke. Hours later they were still no closer to finding anything.

"Yeah the place has some nice prices, too", Peyton frowned as she flipped over a price tag.

"What about this?"

Amanda pointed to a plain, pretty, pink vase. Peyton giggled.

"Um, I don't think Brooke would like that."

"Why? It's nice?"

"Nice, yeah but Brooke…Brooke is weird. The more extravagant and the more expensive, the better."

Amanda smiled.

"It must be hard shopping for her."

"Trust me, it is. I've been doing it for years. Brooke is difficult sometimes."

"I think she's fabulous", Amanda drawled.

"That's why you two get along so well", Peyton joked. "Brooke thinks she's fabulous, too."

The two tired women wandered around the aisles a few more minutes.

"Look at that, Peyton. It's three hundred dollars…"

Amanda was pointing towards two beautiful stainless steel vases crafted together so they fit in almost the shape of a heart. It was classy and it looked like it cost a lot of money with its matte finish. Peyton shrugged.

"Works for me", the older blonde grumbled, giving her charge card to a sales associate with instructions to gift wrap it.

"That wasn't so hard", Amanda smiled.

Peyton sighed as she gave her a look.

"Then why am I so worn out? Come on, I am starving and the last thing I feel like doing is cooking. You like Japanese food?"

Amanda shrugged.

"I've never had it."

"Well, there's a first time for everything", Peyton winked.

An hour later the two were seated at a table at the trendy Japanese restaurant near the mall. Peyton smiled as the food kept slipping from Amanda's unsteady grip with the chopsticks.

"Would you think I was a total idiot if I used a fork?" the younger girl blushed sheepishly.

"Not at all", Peyton handed her the utensils. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah. It's kind of spicy, though."

"It's an acquired taste."

"What about Jenny? What's she going to have for dinner?"

"Jake got home early today to go to her practice. I'm sure they'll pick up something on the way home."

Amanda nodded.

"You and Jake…you are okay, right?"

"We're fine", Peyton answered unconvincingly.

"Oh."

"Why do you ask?"

Amanda shrugged.

"I don't know. I just heard you guys fighting about the thing with Teezer and you really haven't talked since then."

"That was almost two weeks ago. I'm over it."

"I know but you and Jake always seem so happy. And I feel like everything with the dog was my fault. I don't want you guys fighting over me…"

"It wasn't your fault. It was…other things. But Jake and I are okay. I mean, couples have disagreements and God knows we've had our share over the last ten years. But what happened wasn't your fault. Jenny has issues and she's had them long before you came along. Besides, that was really nice of you to get rid of your dog for her. I know you really loved Teezer."

"It's okay. I mean, I know you're my teacher and you're just letting me hang out in your house until I can find another home, but I really appreciate it. I love it there. You and Jake are so cool and Jenny is like a little sister to me. It's the first place where I actually felt like I was part of a real family."

Peyton stared at her, amazed by the candor and sincerity.

"I know you've been through a lot, Amanda. I just want to let you know that you're safe now. I won't let anything else bad happen to you. You can stay with us as long as it takes for them to find you a home and not just any home. I mean somewhere safe where you'll be happy."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Peyton?" Amanda picked at her rice.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"It's kind of personal."

"What's up?"

Amanda took a deep breath.

"When you and Jake were fighting the other night…you said something about him sending you away. Were you…did you have a drug problem?"

Peyton sighed as she wiped her mouth.

"Amanda, we all make mistakes and we do things we aren't proud of from time to time. That's just part of being human. When I was nine, my mother, or the woman who I thought was my mother died in a car accident on the way to pick me up from school."

"I'm sorry…"

"That was really hard for me to deal with. I guess I never got over that loss."

"What about your dad?"

"He was around. He was a good dad. He helped me cope with a lot of stuff but as I got older, his job kept him out of town more and more. It kind of sucked. I was lonely a lot. I mean, I was a popular cheerleader and I had a ton of friends but I was still lonely. All I really had was Brooke…and for a time, Nathan."

"Nathan? You mean…"

Peyton smirked at the distant memory.

"Yeah, we dated back in the day. It was a long time ago. He used to be a jerk before Haley came along. Anyway, after him, Lucas and I kind of had a thing…"

"You dated Lucas too?"

"Trust me, it sounds worse than it is. We had this amazing chemistry but nothing ever really came of it. Brooke really cared for him and I couldn't let a guy come between us. We all went through our high school drama but through it all, I had Jake as a friend and I totally fell in love with Jenny. I guess I started falling for Jake too but he had to leave for a while because of Nikki trying to get custody. I helped him get out of town but I was so empty without him."

"But you had other friends, right?"

"Sure. I was close with this one chick, Anna. She was cool but rumors got started that we were lesbians. It turned out she really was but she just wasn't out of the closet yet. I really needed good friends and my life and Anna just couldn't be there because she was afraid of what other people thought."

"So what'd you do?"

Peyton shrugged.

"Met up with this totally sleazy thirty something local music promoter named, Rick. We did a few lines and I swore it would never happen again but the minute things would get worse and I'd start feeling sorry for myself…I'd go right back. I have issues dealing with things sometime."

"How'd you stop?"

"Lucas tracked Jake down and he came back and he decided to stay. My dad was like never home then so he and Jenny basically moved in. And for a while it was perfect. Then Nikki came back. Jake went to jail for violating a custody order then we finally got it overturned and Nikki kidnapped Jenny. They just literally disappeared without a trace."

"That must have been hard for you."

"You have no idea but Jake stuck around and we stuck it out. Neither one of us got over it but we had to move on. But we did the college thing and living together and we got married. Things were great again and very unexpectedly, I ended up pregnant", Peyton sighed.

"What happened to your baby?"

"I lost it. It was a tubal pregnancy. I got very sick and um…it's a good chance I can't get pregnant again."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We have to accept that. But I couldn't accept it for a while. Then I found out another woman was my mother and she had been alive this whole time and my father had been lying to me. I didn't know how to deal. I was depressed…suicidal, everything you heard Jake say. I lost my way and briefly turned to the drugs again. But I got help and I'm better now and I'm more in control…or at least I'd like to think so."

"I did coke a few times", Amanda nodded. "Weed, Ecstasy…just a lot of stupid stuff. My life wasn't so great either so I turned to the bad stuff to try to make it better. It did for a while but in the end it only makes it worse. I've seen what drugs can do to people…what they've done to me. I never want it to be like that again."

Peyton nodded.

"I did screw up Amanda but everything is okay now. I mean, I take it one day at a time. But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or look down on me…"

Amanda shook her head.

"I could never look down on you. You're like the best person I know. You definitely have the biggest heart. I respect you so much. You're like the best friend and big sister and the mother I never had all wrapped in to one."

Abruptly, Amanda reached across the table and hugged Peyton. The gesture of affection through the older one off but after a few seconds, she relaxed and soon hugged back. Before she knew it, she was fighting back tears. It was like an epitome. In that one moment, everything started to make all the sense in the world. She held Amanda in her arms and the pain of the past began to wash away. She had someone she could relate to and be good for. Looking into Amanda's eyes was like being healed.