Edward
I knew that I had done the right thing in leaving Bella at the time, but now that I'm here, realizing that something isn't right, I'm starting to wonder if my decision had been as fool proof as I'd initially thought.
It feels like forever that I'm sitting in the coffee shop down the road. I hadn't wanted to go too far, and my loitering attracted the attention of others. So, not wanting to get arrested, I ducked into the revolting smelling shop and ordered a cup of the revolting liquid.
When Jasper had said what he had done, I knew the only way I could possibly keep Bella safe right now was to leave.
They'd been able to keep their mind mostly off of the topic, but from the brief flashes and the dark warning from Alice, I knew that I wouldn't have been able to keep my cool.
Walking away was something that I'm sure that no one would have expected of me, but over the last few years, utterly alone, I'd done a lot of growing and reflection. Sometimes, I needed to step back.
However, that doesn't stop me leaping to my feet, a little too fast, when I hear Carlisle and Esme approaching.
Leaving the untouched drink behind, I move outside and meet them a short way down the road. I climb into the back of the car and Carlisle speeds off.
Both of my companions are effectively keeping me out of their heads, though Carlisle's repetition of medical facts is much more tolerable than Esme's counting.
We drive for nearly an hour, until we are well out of the city and in a deserted area of what looks to be old forest land.
To my surprise, when we arrive and exit the car, Esme remains inside and drives away again. It isn't until she's out of hearing distance that Carlisle gestures for me to join him sitting on a collection of stumps.
"Edward," he starts, using the sympathetic doctor voice, "What we heard, what's happened. I'm sorry son."
Carlisle continues, telling me the entire story of what Bella had told them. In his mind, I see him replay her face as she spoke, and that alone would have broken me.
It's all my fault. Everything that she's been through, it's entirely my fault
I put my head in my hands and weep, even though no tears will come.
At some point my weeping turns to rage, and I smash the stump below me before launching the remains away.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I start to calm.
My breaths are coming in desperate gasps, and I'm hunched over on Carlisle's shoulder.
I whisper to him, "Is there any hope?"
Carlisle holds me closer. "There's always hope. Just remember, she didn't jump."
It's that feeling that I hold onto as we call Esme to return with the car.
Bella
I wake up slowly, not quite sure about my surroundings. Sitting up, and putting my hand to my head, I wince at the pain there. How do I hadn't such a pounding headache? It's almost as though I spent the whole night crying.
Then the previous night comes back to me, and I remember that I had in fact spent the night crying. Not only that, but I'd told them all everything.
I don't know what to expect. Will they still be here? After everything they now know about me, I really wouldn't blame them for having high tailed it back to wherever they came from.
The fact they hadn't simply dumped me on the streets was a small sign of potential.
"What am I doing?" I say aloud, forgetting about the other listening ears that might be here. "Stop relying on them."
I put my head in my hands and start to shake. There are no tears left to cry.
I sit there for several minutes, trying to ignore life.
Unfortunately, it seems I'm not going to be allowed to brood forever, as there's a knock on the door.
Dragging my head up, I mutter a croaky, "Come in."
To my great surprise, it's Rosalie who puts her head around the door. "I know you've just woken up and must be desperate for a few human moments, but I wonder if I could briefly trouble you before you get on with your day."
I just stare at her blankly. Not only is she considering my needs, but she's also speaking to me civilly.
Shaking myself slightly at my rudeness, I gesture to the end of the bed. She walks in and perches gracefully on the end of the bed.
"Thank you, Bella, I won't keep you long. I just wanted to…" She trails off and takes a deep breath. "I wanted to apologise for the way I've treated you since we've been back. It was unfair and judgemental. One day I will share my story and you will, perhaps, understand my motivation. For now, I must beg your forgiveness and request the opportunity to make it up to you."
I'm speechless. The ice queen is admitting she's wrong, and admitting it to a worthless human like me.
Not knowing what to respond with and too woolly headed to figure out what to say, I just nod at her.
Rosalie nods back at me and stands slowly.
Just before she makes it back to the door, she turns and speaks again. "You're wrong. I know it's been said before, but you are worth it. You're here and that's important. I can give you my word that Emmett and I will not be leaving until you are ready for us to do so. While I cannot speak for the others in my family, I don't believe they'd leave either. When you're ready, please, come out."
Having said her piece, she leaves, closing the door behind her.
Can I really try trusting them? After all of this time and all this hurt, won't they simply drop me again like before?
As much as I want to curl back up in bed, I know that I only want to do it to avoid all their faces.
This time silently, I give myself a pep talk. Come on Bella, out of everything you've had to fight recently, this is what you're finding hardest?
I pull myself out of the bed and stumble my way over to the bathroom. Only leaning on the doorframe keeps me upright as my head spins. Regaining my sense of balance, I hobble over to the sink.
Leaning on it heavily, I look up into the mirror.
The girl looking back at me is not who I was expecting to see. She's a frail and sickly-looking woman who looks as though she's been to hell and back.
Really, I don't know what else I was expecting, given everything that's happened. It's just something I'd never really considered.
How must I look to all those vampires with perfectly perfect eyesight?
Unable to hold back the tears, I sink to the ground again and cry.
This certainly won't be helping my complexion, but I can't stop. I cry for the loss of my family, my life, my hope. Without realising it, I'm begging whatever deity can hear me to take me from this painful world that insisted on betraying my life.
I don't hear it over my sobs, but the door opens and a figure steps through.
Their arms wrap around me, lift me from the ground and cradle me to their chest where I sob. Something in that moment changes. Throughout everything that's happened, the Cullen's attempts to fix things, this is the first time I feel safe. Something about these cold arms makes me feel as though I'm home.
I snuggle into their chest as the tears continue to flow, and I don't even care that I must be ruining their shirt. I just cry in sheer overwhelm and relief.
Eventually my cries taper off and I stare up into the golden eyes of Edward.
They aren't bright and shining like I remember them, but full of pain and sorrow. I nearly cry again realising it had been me to put that hurt on his face.
Part of me wants to shout and rage at him. No matter what way its spun, all of the problems can be traced back to his childish thought that he knew better, and that dangling a human into his world and then leaving without a second glance was safe, but I just can't be angry with him. He's here now and I'm safe. Too tired to put up any form of fight, I relax into his chest and just let the feeling of peace fill me up.
It's not long later that my stomach rumbles, and Edward carries me through to the living area.
Someone has prepared some form of milky concoction in a mug. More tears start to flow as I put the mug up to my mouth and choke down the liquid. It feels like I'd lost some imaginary battle and I'm grieving the loss of something.
"It doesn't need to make sense right now." Jasper's voice speaks from the corner, apparently picking up on my internal confusion.
He's right, nothing makes sense, and I have a gut feeling that it'll be a long time before things start to right themselves.
Over the next few days, I'm tormented by everyone in the family desperately trying to help. I can't count the amount of times I've blown up at them and had to apologise. I don't even know why they stick around, but for some reason they do.
It's me that decides one day that I need to get away from here for a while. I can't stay in a place with such memories, where I'm scared to set foot outside in case someone recognises me. Not that anyone worth while would, but I am so scared of sparking a memory of my prior work and Edward to live through that in his head. I want to forget everything that's happened, let alone making him live through it.
So, we all pack up and head on a plane back to New York, where the family made residence all those years ago. Though, according to the family, they've barely spent any time there after graduating nearly two years ago.
They suggested that I might wish to return to Forks, but I'm not ready for that yet, not to mention the fact that I don't want my daughter to see me in this state. Maybe in a few years, when everything settles, I can go back.
Carlisle found out from Jacob that my daughter's name is Carlie; I suspect she was named in honour of my dad. They even made sure that my photo was kept on her bedside table, and made sure she knows that I am her mother. That news triggered another breakdown which had lasted several hours. I don't know how to feel. Part of me is pleased that my daughter knows who I am but the other part of me hates myself for having gone so long thinking that Jacob would have just thrown me out of their lives, and that I never had a choice to go back.
I suspect now that Edward is back in the picture, it's likely that someday I will become a vampire, but that's also something that's too much to consider at the moment. With the vampires clear from the reservation, maybe the boys will stop phasing for good, and Carlie can live a normal life, without this madness.
Choices weigh down my mind and keep me awake at night. I often wake screaming and begging for someone, anyone, to fix things.
Through it all, Edward sticks by my side.
The house is beautiful, just as would be expected for Esme. Together, Edward and I begin to build out lives back together. With each passing week, my health continues to improve. Though I'm far from the girl I was before, I suspect that I'll never be like her again. How can I, after everything that I've been through?
It doesn't matter though. Edward and I, at least for now, are together.
Epilogue - Bella
It's been decades since those horrific days. Recovery wasn't easy, and it took months of hard work before I was stable enough for Edward to change me. Then, all it had taken was the intimate family wedding and a bite one night for our lives to change irrevocably.
I don't regret the change or my commitment to Edward.
With the help of Jacob, I've been able to see my daughter grow from afar. We've agreed that given her bloodline, it isn't safe for her to be around vampires. The wolf life may have been grandiose to most, but for those who lived it and saw the heartbreak it entailed, we don't want that life for her.
She has, however, been told the stories of the tribe.
It hadn't been easy, but Carlie had come to understand and accept why I'd had to leave.
Advances in technology mean we've spoken frequently throughout her life, and I've been able to watch the beautiful girl mature into a gracious woman, to fall in love with a man who adores her for her, and have her own children.
With only days left, I've come with Edward to say hello and goodbye to the most precious woman in the world. We hug and cried together.
Thankfully, she never asks for the miracle that only we can give. She expressed a desire long ago for a dignified and human death. Something which only hours ago she'd been granted, surrounded by her family, including us from a distance.
Edward held me as I sobbed no tears for hours. My baby girl was gone.
We stayed for the funeral. It was beautiful. No expense was spared, thanks to my family, but it was still very simplistic, very her. No frills, just elegance and peace.
I knew I'd experience this with all of my grandchildren too, it's the curse of this life, so, as hard as it was, I'd decided that once the funeral was over, we'd be going abroad.
Edward and I have plans to travel the globe, seeing all the life that the world has to show us.
So, hand in hand, we set off together on our adventure.