Underground Spirits
Chapter 9: No Longer Alone
Wilbur's Point of View:
Oh, it fucking hurt…
Why did it hurt so much?
I really let those drugs get the better of me… didn't I?
But I had to push through… I had so much that I wanted to do… so much that I had to try and fix…
But how do I fix what I'd done?
That stupid drug that was given to me by that mascot… I was dumb enough to take it and it cost me the lives of those that I held dear. People that I loved… I… I…
I k-killed them…
In my deranged state… I killed teachers, friends… my own family… Milly… I killed Milly… I killed my dad…
I don't remember any of it, but… I had a feeling under it all that it had to be me…
It hurt… It killed me inside… I knew my mother and brother struggled everyday with seeing me. How could they stand to see me? The murderer of their family? I destroyed everything… I didn't deserve anything other than pain and suffering.
Hell… I even brought my girlfriend and best friend into that stupid mess! I'd been told I confidence later on that it was the two of them that prevented me from hurting others. I think… deep down I knew it was me… but how can I forgive myself for what I'd done? What did I get my friends involved in?
Recovery was slow in the hospital. Both physically and mentally it was a struggle to get back to what I was before. Some days… there was no strength to do anything. Let it be by lack of physical strength or that I had no will power to push on as the weight of my delusional actions haunted me.
Some days… I couldn't stop shaking. The fear and lack of control that flowed through me that could have been the end of people around me…
Only a short while ago did MK tell me about how Frisk and Papyrus had followed me and my friends to that field when I was having a mental break. Papyrus saw the signs that I was failing. That the drug was destroying another little piece of me. He tried to help, but healing magic did nothing to stop the damage of myself. In fact… it made it worse.
Acid mushrooms… that was what was the main ingredient in those blunts we were smoking. We were fucking using acid mushrooms! How could I have been so stupid! I got my best friends mixed up in that mess!
In my messed-up mind, I tried to defend my friend when I finally snapped. It was Frisk and Papyrus who dragged my friends to safety and got them the hell out of there. And then on my behalf, Frisk had to be asked to do some sort of crazy mission for the king in order to find out who the mascot was to end all this… fucked up shit!
Both of them were so much better than me… I was supposed to be an adult then and a fucking kid had to clean up my mess!
Emotions were like a roller-coaster as I had to process them. Somedays I was so overcome with emotion I couldn't bear to see anyone. The only ones often in my room were Mom, MK, and Juryman Red who kept an eye on my progress and recovery by orders of the king. Whoever they were, they acted like a confidant for me to let out my feelings. They knew so much about me that it made me suspect it was someone close to me out there back in Snowdin or Waterfall. I could never prove it though, I heard that those of the jury had to deny it even if they were found out. Dad knew someone in the jury a long time ago…
Dad… he might have been an ass… but I missed him…
I hated myself for what I did to him…
The trailing of my thoughts were interrupted when a lone figure knocked at my doorway. I was hardly surprised to see it was Juryman Red who stood there in my open doorway. The door was never allowed to be closed for any reason. They stood there with a cloak covered hand that knocked softly on the frame that I could see.
"Good day to you Wilbur." They slowly approached and took to the chair beside my bed on my right, where they carefully looked over the charts beside me. They used magic to hide their voice, since it sounded so strange. They had to be someone I knew for that of all things. "Your physical health seems better. Nutrient levels are higher than before and beginning to stabilize I see. Are you eating well when you can?"
"Yeah… they give me lots of food options here. I try to eat all I can…"
"That's more than acceptable. It's good to see the progress your putting in." They stopped for a moment to take careful care to look at me. I blinked, and looked at the window beside me only then to notice the tears that had run quietly down the side of my face. "I'm assuming you'd rather not talk today then?"
"Sorry… it's been a bad day…"
"I understand. I won't lie young one, you'll have many of those moments as you recover, and some of these thoughts will follow you into adulthood. These are wounds that will take a very long time to recover. Though…"
They paused and I watched them reach over to grab another chair from the other side of the room and place it on the other side of me. I was hesitant when I saw this before the juryman stood at the end of my bed, hands crossed before their abdomen and folded together. That's a trait that woman normally do, right?
"Perhaps you may not be up to speaking with me for a while, but I was able to pull some strings, and there are two particular people who are desperate to see you. If you don't mind some company for a while."
I blinked at the person, woman maybe, before my gaze went to the hallway where windows lined my room so the doctors could keep an eye on me. My eyes widened when I saw my girlfriend and Kook waiting out there looking in hopefully. Kat herself was pressing her face almost into the glass to get a good look at me, I think. And Kook stood on her side with a gentle hand to her shoulder, trying to comfort her.
But it was hard to see with the glass somewhat decorative to give privacy from those in the hallways to rooms, but doctors and nurses could still see within.
"Y-you got me permission to see them?!"
"You've done well in your recovery, we figured it was beyond time for it." The juryman stepped back slightly and gestured to the door. "Shall I let them in?"
I instantly wanted to say yes, but I paused before doing so. The last time I saw them… I was a mess. I got them into all of that craziness. I made them take the drug with me because somehow underneath it all, my subconscious knew I needed them to stay sane. I had to know that they were well… but was it okay to see them after all I did to them and took people away from them too…
One of the teachers I… killed… was related to Kook…
"Wilbur." My chaotic train of thought was halted by the Red speaking again. "I cannot tell you how to handle this situation. Only you can decide what is best for yourself. But if I could give you any advice, live with no regrets. Say it at least once to them how sorry you are. It may help, it may do nothing. But at least you will have the satisfaction of having done it."
Slowly, ever so slowly… I nodded to them.
"Okay. I… want to see them."
"Very well. One moment."
And they walked over to the glass and motioned my friends inside. Kat was the first to rush in in barely a second before I felt her pounce on top of me. I yelped in pain, but my girlfriend only mewed in her happiness to see me.
"Will! Oh my God… you're alive!"
Her face nuzzled into the side of my shoulder, thankfully the side where an IV wasn't into my arm. She curled right onto me, like a warm blanket sheltering me from the cold air of the hospital. Kook came in slowly after her with a bit more reserved face, but there was still a smile on him when he eagerly reached for my hand to do some kind of a bro hug while I laid down.
"You have no idea how good it is to see you, dude."
The initial air that was trapped in my lungs was lost there and swelling emotions came over. I remember holding him tightly to me, I couldn't let them go. My soul in my chest swelled, stupid tears leaking over the side of my face.
"Wilbur, Katarina, Askook." The juryman's voice carried over the room and she just barely appeared in our vision. "Just so you're all aware, I can't close the door. But I will offer you some privacy by staying outside doing my paperwork. Try to keep it down if you can, okay?"
They then left us. Heading back out around the corner of the doorway, I saw their figure on the other side of the glass closest to the door. I saw them take a seat and begin working with something behind the glass while Kook pulled back and Kat rolled carefully off of me, but didn't let go of one of my hands.
"I didn't think we'd get to see you…" Kat sobbed while she rubbed her face into the hand of mine, she held. "We thought it wouldn't be until you recovered more… but Juryman Red came and asked us if we wanted to try…"
"They didn't really say it dude, but I think they were hinting at how you needed some help." Kook gave my other hand a harder squeeze, trying to be careful of the IV in the upper part of my hand and arm. "So, we're here for you. Whenever you wanna talk. It doesn't have to be now; we can talk about anything. Or we can talk instead if you want."
"Besides… not much to do right now." Kat sighed, though I saw her try to rein in her emotions to some degree. "Grounded until the end of the century. We almost weren't allowed here by our parents if we didn't have appointments here already for de-tox and shit."
My shoulders slumped at that. They're families had a right to be angry with me. I wasn't sure if they knew everything, but the guilt of what I got their kids into weighed on me heavily. I killed friends, family members, got their kids wrapped up in drugs. Who would want their kid near me?
I was beyond pathetic.
"Maybe their right?" The words came out of me slowly while I looked up at the ceiling. I struggled to face them in those moments while a painful burning like sensation passed through my chest. "Look what I did to you… got you involved in…"
"So?!" Kat fired right back, near shooting up out of her chair the second she heard me. "We were dumb enough to accept it and fall for it too! Besides! Kook and I both agreed we wouldn't leave you alone down that dangerous path!"
"Yeah… we just…" Kook paused, but I didn't see him with my averted eyes. "Got off track…"
"We thought we could beat the drug and still help you, but…" Kat sighed, I heard her chair move, but I was surprised when she hovered her body over mine so that she could look me in the eyes. "We're just as much to blame! We should have stopped you! If we had…"
"All the blood is on our hands too…" I heard the rough shuffle of Kook's chair being pushed back before he leaned over the bed too, looking at me like Kat was. "We didn't stop you. Even when we noticed how bad it was for you. All of us are to blame, and all of us should face the punishment."
"No! Its none of your faults!" I snapped back quickly. If it wasn't for me being near strapped down to the bed to rest, I would have been up and snapping. "I started this shit! I dragged you into it! It's my fault!"
"But we're not blameless either!" Katarina snarled. The feline woman I called my girlfriend jumped onto of my bed, went nose to nose with me as both of us growled.
"Hey! Hey!" Kook quickly leapt up and threw his thick scaly arms between us, hurling us apart. "We're not here to yell at each other! We came here to see our best friend. Now we're going to chat and not get thrown out. So Kat, sit down."
"Kook get out of my face-"
"Did you not hear me?" The dangerously cold voice of my best friend sent a chill down the spin of myself and Kat who instantly backed off. Kook wasn't the type to get irritated. He didn't get mad. You listened when he got pissed. "I said sit down, Katarina. I won't ask again."
Kat slowly backed off the bed. She carefully sat back in her seat with her grip still strongly on the edge of my bed while I cast a quick glance to where I knew Juryman Red was. They hung outside the door. I could just barely see them where they were working on papers. While I couldn't see every detail, I noticed how they weren't really moving. They were paying attention to us and seeing if they needed to come in and separate us. They waited a few moments longer until the quietness caused them to go back to work, but I knew they were listening in.
Fuck… if we weren't careful… they may take Kook and Kat away…
"S-sorry Kook…"
"We shouldn't be fighting." The sigh I was expecting to come out of Kook didn't come. He still stood firm, chair pushed back if he was going to need to do something. His gaze slowly slipped past Kat to myself, and that was where I saw his shoulders slouch slightly. "Will, it doesn't matter how any of us feel. Facts are facts. We're just as deep in this shit as you are, we are accomplices to this. We were doing drugs, dangerous drugs that fucked with us all. Sadly, you more so than us that caused you to do such terrible things that we couldn't help you with. Yes, you may bear the brunt of the worst of it, but we share blame and responsibility in it to for not being able to stop you, or ourselves."
Carefully he took a seat. His eyes stayed level with me with every movement he made. When no longer did I have to look up so high at him, his head tilted, but still such a serious look was on him. I'd never seen Kook so serious. I knew that it was better if I listened. I could only guess Kat was doing the same from how quiet it was in my room. The monitor was the only noise we could hear, and papers from Red being moved in the hallway.
"We're not leaving you. I don't care if my parents disown me for it. We're all a part of this, and we're not abandoning you."
Something… something about the words he used really resonated with me. Deep in my soul I felt something click. I wanted to say or show that it didn't, but it really did. I didn't want to be alone; I didn't want to move on or lose my family. I was so scared to be alone…
It petrified me…
I couldn't stop the tears that came, nor the quiet sobs that I tried to hide in my arm when I turned away from him.
Kat and Kook sat with me when the crying began to get worse. Those were the words I think I really wanted to hear in all of this. That I wouldn't be left behind. And that moved me to the core.
I wouldn't be alone anymore.
Witch's Note:
What a unique chapter with Will being the star of the show this time! His recovery in the hospital and seeing his friends for the first time since he was put into it. The stress, the linger thoughts, the pain. All of them had a part to play as they failed each other and had to come to terms with what they'd done.
Isn't it great?!
I really had a great time write this lovely little piece by Raspberries123! I hope you all liked it because we have another idea or two about Will that will come up later! Still working on it! And a few other ideas! I hope you all are enjoying the spread!
Now, onto reviews!
Shadow8Phantom: Exactly Shadow, I wanted to show the suffering that people we never even got to meet in the underground got to suffer from. Just making it slightly more personal due to them being a relative of Maria's. Honestly, I found it really heart wrenching to write this chapter and actually struggled not to cry when doing it. Only this one, and one other chapter I've yet to post did that to me.
I'm really glad I got an option to do a writing piece like this. Angel's first art delivery I actually had no idea how to work out until recently. It just came to me one day when a writing surge hit me and I wrote like three chapters in a day.
Mystic Girl: I remember that day, I don't think you even came up for chocolate cake, and that's like your favorite thing if it's homemade...
Me: Trust me, I love that cake too, but I had a surge to follow and I'd be damned if I let that flame run out. Cake or no cake.
Mystic Girl: Don't forget to eat, woman! You can't write on an empty stomach!
Me: I know that. The surge only lasted six hours. I was fine.
Thechaosmaster: I'm glad that chapter hit you on so many emotional levels as it did myself and others Chaos. I know it was hard to write. Like I said before, this one and one other felt like that to me. I'm hoping I'll be able to post that one soon, I thought it was a great chapter.
Mystic Girl: Oh it was 'great' alright! But why are you trying to make us cry! (My best friend in fact is crying a river as she reads over this chapter again and the one I'd like to post soon. She's soaking up my floorboards that I was going to have to clean up later.)
Me: What? You want me to stop writing?
Mystic Girl: NO! Don't you DARE do that!
Me: Okay then, you know some of my stuff is like that, and other stuff is as fluffy as cotton, and other stuff is as dark as hell. (I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her.) You get what you get, don't complain.
Mystic Girl: You suck... (She pouted at me.)
Me: (I shrugged.) Whatever you say!
Liana WinterMoon: Why hello there! A new reviewer! We haven't seen a new person for a while! We got your review and it's great to see you! You spent seven hours binging the first story?
Mystic Girl: Holy shit!
Me: We appreciate that you loved it so much, but make sure not to sacrifice your sleep for it okay? Granted you're not the first person who has done that... We're very excited to continue with our side story here, almost halfway done now folks! Then we have our second story, which will bring out a lot of new things. Houses we associate with, married life, Frisk and Pap figuring out where they're supposed to be in the world?
And trust me, lots of messy fun! It wouldn't be a good story if I didn't put Angel and her family through the ringer a time or two.
Alright, that's all we have this time around! I can't wait to see you guys soon! We are working hard to finish up the few other ideas that haven't been written yet and soon we'll be posting the second story! Looks like we'll finish this one in February and begin the second book in March!
Plus, there's another book I've been working on as well in this series! I don't want to give out too many details yet, since I wanna keep it a bit of a secret. The only thing I will tell you is that this story is gonna be short.
I hope you all are hyped and I can't wait to be able to post those new stories, but we have to get through this one first! We still have roughly another ten chapters before we finish this one!
Love you all and see you next week!
Halloween Witch and Mystic Girl