Name: Sunshine on a Silver Platter
Author: seizu daioh
Disclaimer: Konomi
Premise: Kidnapping? Why would anyone want to charge Sakuno with kidnapping? Ryoma x Sakuno.
Category: Humour/Romance
Rating: PG 13
Time: Future
- Prologue -
Chopped Heads and Skewered Fingers
The start of a famously bad day is identified by three main characteristics.
One: you extend your quota – identified by how many fingers you have – of how many stupid people you see in one day.
Two: God hates you.
What if you don't believe in God?
Well, I'm sorry. Let me correct that sentence.
Two: A divine presence better known as that thing which watches you from above hates you … from above. You know, above our heads … the puffy skies. That's where God lives or fate or Satan or something, obviously.
And Three.
Three.
Oh yes, three.
The number three characteristic towards identifying a famously bad day – you know, the type of day when you want to throw yourself over the nearest, tallest building that you can find – is …
A member of the opposite sex.
Oh but what makes that so special?
Well.
The member of the opposite sex unintentionally – it's always unintentional; no other human would purposely admit to screwing up your life – tries to screw up your day.
Most likely, they succeed.
Sakuno twitched, violently.
Why did she even bother to wake up that day?
She should have just saved herself the trouble and slept through "the day" –the one that had occurred last week.
Granted, there was always that screaming boss in the background –the one who controlled Sakuno's job and therefore her money and she needed money, badly … badly; very, very badly considering certain matters.
…
…
The twenty some year old – yes, she was old and soon, grey hairs would pop out of her head – lived by herself.
She possessed no friends.
…
That –that mortified the professional entertainer … I mean, journalist. Yes, journalist. Sakuno –Sakuno wondered how her life had ended up like this: living as if she belonged to the Hermit Association of Asia.
There existed a Hermit Association of Asia?
Sakuno once interviewed one of their members by her obviously insane and delusional boss.
Yes.
Back to the original plot.
Sakuno's horrid day.
Sakuno's famously horrid day –the one that had handed her into this situation.
…
She was going to kill Echizen Ryoma.
And that idiotic police officer.
But most assuredly, Sakuno wanted to kill Echizen Ryoma.
Rip him in half.
Eat his head.
Bond him up.
…
The –the internationally renowned tennis player, Sakuno scowled, – why in the hell did she ever sleep with him? Besides the fact that she had drank too much alcohol and he had promised her to save herself from the evil karaoke machine – was probably laughing at her fate this very moment.
Sakuno wanted hit someone.
Or scream.
At the sheer absurdity of her fate.
All because of that one bad day.
…
It wasn't fair.
Life wasn't fair.
If only she hadn't been so eager to do that interview, the one featuring Echizen Ryoma, this – the adventure that had occurred over the last few days - would have never began.
That famously bad day would have never occurred.
She wouldn't have landed herself in here of all places.
Yes, once Sakuno had a chance, she was going to stalk Echizen Ryoma, the wonder of the tennis world, and chop him into a dozen pieces.
God help her if she didn't.