Guest Ki: Chapter 23

Selecting Ingredients

"…our duty as martial artists…"

Akane licked her lips. Not again! She tried to find fault with his assessment, but the idea that someone would try to cripple Shampoo this way was enraging. If she were on the receiving end, wouldn't she want…? But when were they ever going to do the researchto get Ranma back with all these interuptions?

Akane, in facing Barry, faced away from the Amazons. To give Akane a chance to compose herself, Barry gently broke free of her grasp and walked past the Chinese, forcing them to turn away from the Tendo girl. "Anyway, let me show ya what I found, Cologne, so ya can see fer yerself." She looked at the trembling Shampoo and pointed to the floor.

"Hate ta ask ya right now, but could you sit down there and curl up with yer head on yer knees and yer hands wrapped around yer legs?"

Mystified, Shampoo did so. Barry walked behind her crouching and peering till she found the right angle. Then she stiffened and motioned for Cologne to join her. "If ya look along this angle with yer ki senses, you can see it easy."

Cologne joined her and Shampoo sweated as the two 'examined' her. Cologne, for her part, held out a hand and moved it back and forth over her granddaughter's body as if feeling for something.

"I'm amazed you noticed this, Ranma, but once it is pointed out, it is obvious."

"Partly luck and partly curiosity," agreed the pigtailed girl.

"This is beyond my abilities to correct, unfortunately." Cologne was strongly driven to turn around and observe Akane. Something about the way she was acting bothered her, but Shampoo's problem was at the moment the more important situation. She jerked at Shampoo's inarticulate protest and the beginnings of what looked like a reassuring gesture from the redhead.

"Don't be concerned, Ranma. While I cannot help Shampoo, I am certain there are others in our tribe who can. I admit though, that it will place us under obligations that could weaken our family's power on the Council."

Barry held Cologne's eyes and nodded, both to give Akane more time, and to give Cologne time to consider what Barry felt was an important fact: that the Matriarch was in a bind. "Cologne, have ya considered how an enemy could get close enough to hurt Shampoo like this?" She watched for a reaction but saw nothing. It was hard to believe that the old woman could be so blind.

"Almost any enemy would find ending the Ama line of the Joketsuzoku a worthwhile thing, Ranma," Cologne explained confidently. "We mountain people tend to hold grudges, petty things really, but there you have it." She cackled and hopped up on her staff, pogo-ing around, circling the redhead, trying to gain a glimpse of Akane as well. That girl was now turned toward the Chinese and her face held only curiosity.

"Shampoo has been in several…'police actions', western nations would call them, little brush wars and battles, which neither side acknowledges unless they are prepared for a full conflict. Any one of those conflicts could have been used as cover to attack Shampoo in this manner." To her eye, Ranma was gently shaking her head. "There are perhaps a dozen adversaries in our region that have the history and motive, and might have the means…" she huffed at Ranma's continued nonverbal dissent, "You don't agree?"

Barry looked at her, eyes lidded. "Trust is the greatest opportunity for betrayal."

"Where did that come from?" asked Mousse, eyes narrowing slightly.

Barry smirked. "Who better than Ranma Saotome as a living example of it?" When they looked confused she added, slightly irritated by their obtuseness, "Ya know. Pops? The Nekoken?" She started out brightly. "'Sure Pops! I'll get in there with the k-kitties. Yeah, they'll like the fish sausage, Pops; an' ya say they'll teach me ta be a c-c-cat like them? Then can we go back ta m-m—!'" To Barry's shock, as she recited long ago events her voice began to shake and her eyes became damp.

Barry fought for control, snarling at what Genma had done. A tear escaped, to trickle down the redhead's cheek, and Barry cursed silently. He hadn't meant to access the disturbing memories on that level; he had meant to make a point. He was nearly making a scene. He took a deep breath and refocused.

"Th-think about how the blocked points line up only when Shampoo is all curled up, Cologne. Maybe like she'd be if somebody did it when she was carried around like she was as a baby?" Barry finally stuffed Ranma's memories back in their closet and faced Cologne who stood as still as a stone. "The block's been there a good while. Still, I'm pretty sure it wasn't until after Shampoo… ya know, um… became… uh…"

"A cat?" offered Mousse.

"No, moron!" Barry snapped. Damn! She didn't think it'd be this embarrassing to talk about. "Had the… monthly thing."

"Her period?" Cologne suggested.

"Yeah, uh… that." What the hell was it about guys and bodily functions, anyway? "You guys have a growin' up ceremony, maybe? And maybe, part of the ceremony has the girl curl up or carried…"

"Stop!" Cologne held up her hand again. "This is not for outsider speculation. You will not speak of this further. I must ask you to respect our wish not to discuss this with anyone else at all." All of the Chinese had gone stiff at Barry's speculation and she could tell in flashing, neon lights that she had hit a particularly sensitive nerve.

"Okay by me. Akane?" She glanced at the dark-haired girl.

"I won't tell anyone. It's too private. I don't gossip, anyway." Barry nodded at Akane's words and turned back to Cologne.

"I wouldn't go flyin' off the handle, ya understand. I could be wrong. But if I'm right, then maybe ya might wanna fix the problem on the sly an' surprise somebody?"

Shampoo's eyes had gone hard and bright. Mousse remained inscrutable but his body language indicated aggressive readiness.

"Understand, son-in-law, I can not dissolve the bonds between you and Shampoo over this, if you had that in mind" Cologne's face was hard and unyielding, but she was wringing her hands. "We Amazons have survived for three thousand years by seeing the long goal and the 'big picture'. While it would be personally advantageous for Shampoo to have this deficiency corrected…"

"Granny, understand where I'm comin' from," Barry interrupted, eyes narrowing. "The 'big picture', so far as I'm concerned, is a fantasy. Worse, it's an insult." Suddenly hostile blue eyes met reddish-brown set in the ancient, wrinkled sockets. "It means some jerk thinks what I want or need is unimportant compared ta some personal plan o' theirs." The blue eyes grew harder. "Any time I hear someone say 'big picture', it only means that they feel they have the right ta tromp all over me. An' mosta the time, it's nothin' more than a scam.

"Shampoo?" At the inquiry, eyes wet with tears blinked at Barry. "I'm researchin' ki. I got my own agenda and I'm not changin' it. Ryoga, Akane and I are gonna be pesterin' anybody we can find that knows anything about ki or has authentic documents on what it can do." Barry took a deep breath. "If I find somethin' that'll help ya, I'll help ya, no strings attached, because I think it's the right thing ta do." She glanced back to the Matriarch again.

"Would be nice ta get some help from yer corner but, if yer gonna get pissy, there's no point." She turned and caught Akane by the arm. "C'mon, Akane, we got about two weeks o' homework to catch up on before we can reallyget a move on this." They started to leave.

"Wait a moment, Ranma," Cologne recovered and was beside them at the door. "Perhaps a century of dealing with faithless politicians has soured me. I assumed that a condition for help would be releasing you from your obligation to Shampoo. Yet, you speak of helping her despite this objection…?"

"Granny, ya know what I think of yer Amazon obligation. I'll help Shampoo in spite of it, because she's a friend. But I'd help her even if she was an enemy. What was done was wrong. Someone, probably someone with a 'big picture' that's different than yours, by the way, decided ta mess around and make Shampoo less than what she should be." She cracked her knuckles. "If I ever catch up with 'em, they'll wish they was never born."

Shampoo looked at Barry with a frown on her face. She huffed. Barry suspected that friendship, at least with outsiders, might be an alien notion to the warrior women.

"What'sa matter, Shampoo, didn't ya realize what ya were? Whyd'ya think I said what I said on the train?" Shampoo shook her head and glanced at her grandmother.

"Don't worry about it, Shampoo, I'll explain later," Cologne assured her. "For now, consider Akane an ally and we are working under an extended truce."

"Yes, Grandmother."

"Ranma, I can't let you just 'experiment' on Shampoo. Before I agree to this, I want you to promise not to do anything without telling me just what you're up to." Cologne was looking strangely at the purple-haired girl as she spoke.

"You feel up to lettin' us read some of those ancient Amazon scrolls?"

Cologne hesitated. "The scrolls we need are at the village, boy. If you're right, and I don't consider that more than an outside possibility, understand, " she added, "then my asking for those particular treatises is going to warn someone we're on to them."

"You're right there, unless…" Barry thought furiously, but Akane beat her to the punch.

"Unless you can come up with a 'catch-Ranma' scheme that needs that particular information!" finished Akane, lips quirking in a smile. Then she frowned furiously. "Wait a minute! I can't believe I just suggested you try something underhanded on Ranma again!"

"It seems to be that kind of day," observed Cologne dryly. "I'll think on this and get back to you. It's not that simple. Whatever you may imagine, I'm not here win Ranma for Shampoo, after all."

Akane and Barry exchanged glances. "Yeah, right." The latter smirked.

"Like I said," Cologne returned indifferently. "But even I must account in most particular detail when I access the arcane of the Joketsuzoku."

Barry snapped her fingers, suddenly. "Hey, Granny, maybe ya don't have to get that particular scroll." She had a faraway look on her face.

"What do you mean, Saotome," growled Mousse. "Do you imagine you can cure my darling Shampoo of this foul obstruction without the scroll that shows the method?"

Barry smiled, snapped her hands together and then apart. Suddenly, ribbons of light seemed to spin off to envelop and bind the startled master of hidden weapons. To the uninformed, it would seem that Ranma had taken a page from the male Amazon's book, and was calling chains and ropes out of thin air.

"Hey, Mousse, I didn't learn how ta do this with a scroll."

Mousse glowered, immobilized, obviously impressed, but unwilling to yield a centimeter to his long-time adversary. Cologne shook her head in disbelief. This was the technique he used on Happosai at Himamashi's. Sometimes it was disgusting how adept Ranma was.

"Very well done, Ranma. Interesting… Very interesting. I can see the bonds, but I can't touch them or, with my own awareness, distinguish them from Mousse." Cologne poked at a bond with her staff and Mousse responded with a yelp. "How did you manage that?"

"Conditional similarity. Can you move, Mousse?"

"No, dammit! Get me out of this, Saotome," he growled, tipping precariously from Cologne's push. They ignored him as he crashed to the floor.

"Shampoo told us about the barrier you used to thwart the avalanche. Have you any other techniques?" she inquired, expecting the positive answer. He was just too smug. He was obviously coming into his power. Fortunately, Ranma was still something of a child in this respect; he liked to show off.

"What do you think?" she smirked. Cologne smiled tightly. Now would come the demonstrations. But Ranma stood there, smirking, not giving a nibble. Cologne pursed her lips, waiting but any new techniques remained hidden.

"What kind of help would you need?" the old woman asked in resignation. While it was obvious that Ranma held a good hand, he wasn't going to reveal any more of it right now.

"Mosta my stuff is self-taught. But everything comes from my usin' my ki-vision to check on what I'm doin'."

"Would you describe it for me please, Ranma?" Cologne reached out, grabbed hold of Mousse and pulled him in front of the women.

"Hey?"

"Quiet, Mr. Part-time," Cologne growled. "You keep saying ki-vision. What do you mean?" She tapped her head. "My ki sense is more like a sense of touch and frankly that's better than most people have. Use your ki sense on duck-boy here and tell me what you 'see'.

"Excuse me?"

"Just shut up and lie still, Mousse." Barry pointed to him. "With my eyes, I see a tall, slender-lookin' guy with thick glasses, long dark hair and white robes with a diamond pattern on them. With my inner eye, the glasses, the robes, his hidden weapons, everything is separate from Mousse. I guess it's a little like looking through stained glass windows one on top of the other." Mousse flushed and almost tried to cover himself. Barry tried to come up with a word Ranma would use to describe the associations. "Anyway, each has… levels? Layers? Maybe more like colors, like a rainbow. If ya think like that, Mousse's body and all the physical things might be said to be violet or blue. Not really the colors but like them, in that they are closest to the body and are the tightest and strongest. The heavier, the denser things are the more like purple they are.

"But Mousse is much more than his body." Barry ignored a snicker from Shampoo. "There is a strong sense of green, on top of and through — that's not what I mean but as close as I can get — the blues and purples. It affects them sometimes. I think it's tied to hormones or emotions maybe; at least it gets real disturbed when Mousse looks at Shampoo."

"Saotome!" Barry ignored him, but Shampoo smiled.

"The next is sort of yellow, maybe, if this was really a color. This is where Shampoo is tied up and limited, by the way. It is, also, where most of the ki techniques seem ta come from."

"Above that are two distinct levels I might as well call orange and red," Barry said, watching the matriarch for reactions. "The orange must have something ta do with the mind. Your orange areas are absolutely swirlin', like leaves in a cyclone, right now. The red… I don't know. Beyond that might be others; it feels like there's something there, but I can't quite see it."

"What you're describing by the color red is probably the layer that represents the soul, boy." Cologne looked wistful; then a flood of conflicting emotions seemed to race across her face before she composed herself. "If you had any idea how hard people try to achieve this degree of sensitivity, and how tenuous it normally is, and of course, you simply turn it on and off at will." She shook herself and sighed deeply.

"It's probably from not thinkin' about it too much," Barry said offhandedly. "Martial arts is like that; think about it too much and lose it."

"No wonder you can do it well then, Saoto... Ow!" Shampoo lightly kicked Mousse in the side.

"Don't knock it, Mousse," Barry said. Bending over, she touched the bonds and they vanished. Mousse made a half-hearted swipe at her before rising to his feet.

"Mousse, think about this for a while. If ya solve it, I'll show ya how to do it. I gave your bonds to you and made them yours." She turned back to Cologne. "I don't read Chinese. Could Shampoo or Wonder-duck here translate for me?"

"Wonder-duck!" screamed Mousse at his patience's end. "Die, Saotome!" He leaped at Barry, who laughed and grabbed the kettle from the stove. She blew him a kiss, further enraging him, then dodged outside. Splashing sounds were heard and Ranma's male tones were now in evidence.

"Hey, Mousse, put this back before we work out, okay?" The kettle took the Amazon between the eyes, slowing him. With a distracted air, he launched the kettle to land lightly on the stove. "Show me what you've got in yer spare duds, man," laughed the unseen martial artist. Mousse leaped in pursuit.

Akane and Shampoo, for entirely different reasons, sighed in exasperation and muttered, "Boys!"

"Cologne, though Shampoo and I are rivals," Akane said slowly. "I just want you to know that anything we do that can help her, we'll bring straight to you." She started to bow, Japanese style, but stopped at Shampoo's loud 'ahem'. She looked at her and Shampoo stood up straight and stared back, her bearing proud. Akane duplicated her posture and gazed at Cologne. "I think I'll be leaving now."

"Tell Ranma not to worry about having a translator, all right, girl?"

Akane turned and walked out. Behind her, Cologne was giving her granddaughter a strange look again. "If you are considering that course of action, it will make things more difficult," she admonished the girl. Shampoo traded looks with her elder. "They are merely allies in this."

Shampoo shrugged and smiled. "We see…" she replied enigmatically.

Mousse was predictable after you got used to the sight of all those weapons popping out of nowhere. Chains and ropes were defeated through attacks that moved opposite of the action, leaving them limp and useless. The weighted and hooked heads were avoided like any projectile weapon. The swords, clubs and other hand-held weapons were dodged by analyzing the patterns of movement and avoiding, deflecting or trapping the weapon, as needed. You didn't even need to hit him, just wait for his supplies to run out.

Outside of his weapons, Mousse was a slightly above average black belt in a form similar to Hun Gar Wushu.

Mousse suddenly found himself pumping a dry well. "Damn! If I hadn't lost my regular suit…" He faced off against Ranma barehanded.

"C'mon, Mousse," Barry said. "I apologize fer tweakin' yer bill back there…"

"Grrr!"

"Hey, Mousse, if ya actually managed ta kill me, what would that do ta Shampoo's chances?" He waited while the naked eyes of his adversary, who had lost his glasses moments before, blinked and tried to locate him. Then he deliberately walked up into easy range.

"Damn you, Saotome!"

"Ya know, everybody keeps offering ta send me to hell," Barry sighed. "D'ya ever think I might already be there?" Mousse didn't answer; instead, turned and looked back up the street toward the Nekohanten. Not that he could see anything. Barry noticed the glasses hanging by one arm from a nearby tree. "Here, Mousse." He offered the spectacles to the near-blind man.

"What? Oh, thanks." Now that he was out of sight of the other Amazons, he seemed less tense, less angry.

"Were you really takin' lessons from my old man, Mousse?"

Mousse jerked and looked guilty. "Uhhh… yes."

"Why? If I remember right, ya can't win her by beating her since yer an Amazon, yerself."

Mousse looked embarrassed. "Actually, I hoped to gain enough speed and insight into your style, to try to beat you again. Your father is astonishingly easy to manipulate where food is concerned. He never questioned my story that I planned to challenge Shampoo." Mousse suddenly gave a deep sigh. "Unfortunately, Shampoo challenged me to a match right after I got up in the morning and I used some of the techniques I had been taught. Cologne decided to forbid me to take any more training from 'Saotome'."

"What about lessons from a Tendo?"

"What was that?" Mousse choked out. "From a… You Japanese… You could assume your wife's family name…"

"What? No!" He grabbed hold of Mousse before that worthy could blab all over the neighborhood that Ranma had or was marrying Akane. "That's not what I meant!" Mousse struggled ineffectively against his hold. "I meant that maybe Akane could be convinced to continue your training."

"Are you crazy?" Mousse demanded. "What benefit do you gain from such an act? I'm trying to kill you, you know!"

"It's just a thought. I'm still puttin' things together." Barry turned away, thinking. Mousse had good potential for ki use. The hidden weapons technique demanded it. He could probably learn the techniques necessary to heal Shampoo as well as Barry could, once he got jump-started. Barry looked at him closely with ki-vision. "Hmmm… You could just be what the doctor's ordered."

"You are up to something, again." They turned and saw Akane walking up. Barry tried to look innocent. "You boys done with your game?"

"Heck, Akane, you had more fun than I did. He ran out of toys too soon!"

"Well, excuse me!"

"Baka! No, I'll use Ukyo's favorite — jackass! Not you, Mousse," she added apologetically. "Now what are you up to?" she said looking pointedly at Barry.

"Nothin'. Yet." He grinned, she sighed in exasperation and Mousse looked on in confusion. "Don't we have homework ta catch up on?"

"Are you changing the subject on me?" demanded Akane as they strode off. Mousse gazed after them and decided to pick up on the 'Tendo training' idea later, when Akane looked less irritable. He slowly began to move back toward the restaurant, gathering used weapons as he went.

Kasumi greeted them as they divested themselves of their shoes. "Welcome home, Ranma. Welcome home, Akane. How was school?"

Akane stopped and looked distant. "About what could be expected," she said finally. Barry looked at the ceiling and groaned. Kasumi looked distressed.

"Ah, it's nothin' ta worry about, 'Sumi," he offered. "Kodachi and Shampoo both transferred in and decided they would join forces and rule the world. Bwa, ha, hahahaha! (thunk!) Ow!"

Akane lowered her book bag. "You are not reassuring."

"That was so un-cute!" he said rubbing his head. He managed to dodge the next swing. "Biida!" He fled up the stairs, Akane on his heels.

"Dinner will be in about half an hour, you two," she called after them. "There's plenty of time for a bath," she added hopefully. Kasumi shook her head. She wrinkled her nose at the aroma left behind by two active bodies. Akane she didn't worry about. Ranma tended to get distracted, though.

Akane cornered Barry in the guestroom.

"Do you have to do that?" she hissed, flinging down her bag in disgust. Barry straightened and seemed to slump. He leaned back against a wall and Akane shuddered as familiar features took on an altogether alien cast.

"The alternative is this, Akane," he said. Even his voice sounded different, deeper. "I don't think anyone would mistake me for Ranma."

"I know," she said sighing. "It just makes me so angry that you can pull it off at all." She looked like she wanted to say more, but turned away instead. "I guess we'll do homework after dinner."

"Why not get a start now?" he asked puzzled. He hadn't dropped back into Ranma's character, but apparently some things were universal. She turned, made eye contact, then held her nose. He stiffened and his nose twitched once.

"Uhhh… After you?" he asked, embarrassed.

"Oh, no… After you!" she replied, archly. "You're the one who's polluting the atmosphere in here."

"Awww…" His exhalation was fueled by irritation. "That was so…"

"Don't say it!" She held up her book bag again.

"…accurate a description of the current environmental conditions."

There was a lo-o-ong, pregnant silence. "You are strange, Barry."

"So Gwen's told me," he answered dryly.

Dinner was a typical Kasumi work of art. Her dim sum was excellent, as usual. Kasumi would make a perfect wife for someone, if only she met some one. Barry thought about the long-missing Dr. Tofu. What a wimp! He should have found some way to deal with his over-enthusiasm if he'd had any feelings for Kasumi. Instead, he had just suddenly packed and left, leaving Kasumi confused and more than a little hurt. Somehow Kasumi remained sweet and forgiving despite these setbacks and continued to mother the household impartially.

Barry sat at his place and tried to eat at Ranma's frantic pace. It was discouraging in a way. He could taste the food, but it was over so fast. At least he didn't have to deal with Genma and his stealing. Nodoka had put a stop to that the moment she had become aware of it. He complimented Kasumi on the meal and inquired if he and Akane could help her in the kitchen.

She smiled at his offer. "That's very nice of you, Ranma, but you two have homework to catch up on. You needn't worry. I'm used to it."

Soun started to weep, silently, his paper in his lap. Akane and Barry looked at him then at Kasumi. "Father has a project he has to do and he's unhappy about it," the latter explained. Barry looked back at Soun. He was crying harder.

"Ya keep that up, Father Tendo, an' we'll stick ya in the koi pond as a fountain," he joked.

"WAAhhh, hah, hah, haaahh, hoooo!" howled the older man. "K-k-koi p-p-pond… Uh-uh-uh—! WAAAAAHHHhhhhhhhhh!"

Barry and Akane stood up together and opened the shoji onto the garden. Barry tried to make light of it, but had a hard time doing so. "Wow! The deep impact theory is right and the next dinosaur-killer asteroid landed in the Tendo garden. Who'da thought… (wack!) Ow!"

"WAAAAAHHhhhh! K-k-k-koi p-p-pond…"

Barry rubbed his head, moved further away from Akane and probed the remains of the pond with his ki-vision. "Well, wadja know. Carp are hard ta kill!"

"They're still alive?" blurted Akane, who was moving in for another cathartic shot. "Kasumi, do we have anything to put the fish in? We have to save them!" They found the old hipbath and Barry straightened the dent it had gotten from roughhousing between a certain cursed panda and girl. Filling it with water, Barry and Akane waded in and retrieved fish the Amiguriken way. The sixteen that had survived the Armageddon, which the sumo pig had visited on them, swam vigorously in the clean water of the bath.

"Well, Father," said Kasumi cheerily. "Isn't that nice? The koi are all right, after all. Now there's no excuse for delaying the project, is there?"

"C'mon, Tendo," Barry said slapping her hands together to strip the water off them. "I'll help ya drain what's left of the pond. Maybe this weekend I can drag Ryoga back here and get some extra muscle to reset the stones."

Soun seemed to be recovering somewhat as she spoke, but went into tears again at the mention of Ryoga. "Nooooo! Every time he comes here something is destroyed! I will not have him…"

"Daddy, get used to it. He's a friend," sighed Akane. "Besides, half the time he comes here, he doesn't even know how he gets here." She patted him on the shoulder. "He is strong and, since Akari was here for him… well…" she hesitated, "He's always tried to act responsibly in the past, except for the P-chan thing."

"If he doesn't now, I know a certain dark-haired tomboy who'll make him feel responsible," chuckled Barry. She ducked a swing, jumped over a leg sweep and into the muddy water. "Where do we dump this stuff anyway?"

"On the gardens would best, I suppose," Kasumi decided.

Barry grinned. The Ranma responses seemed to whisper; training...

"Akane, wanna race?"

Draining the pond was done, baths were gotten again, homework was done — well, at least three days' worth — and Barry and Akane were in their respective rooms to sleep. Barry lay on the futon, his eyes on the ceiling and pondered what his life had become.

Somewhere out there, his wife and son were waiting for him. They might not realize it, if Ranma had managed to switch places with him, but they were there and he wanted them. He loved them. He felt responsible for at least part of the circumstances that had trapped him here away from them. He had always prided himself on his self-control. It was very bitter to realize he had never had a glimmer of an idea what self-control really meant.

He turned on his side, trying to get comfortable. It was funny, but for him at least, the sex changing that Ranma flipped back and forth through on a daily basis was something Barry mostly treated as a change of costume. Every once in a while, it was disquietingly more, however. At least he didn't have anyone sincerely confused about what Ranma was… well, aside from Kuno.

Barry had looked at herself whilein girl-type in a mirror for the first time this evening, in the middle of her bath. He could understand Kuno's problem. Ranma's girl-form was traditionally pretty as opposed to Hollywood-model pretty. Her muscular development was the long, lean muscle type that she shared with boy-Ranma; but Barry thought that a lot of the appeal came from the way Ranma had decided to play her. Whether girl or boy, Ranma had a wicked sense of humor and enjoyed attention. He might play the macho male, but he also played the 'cute, ditzy girl' to the hilt. In a way, he put everything he despised about women into that role. The absent martial artist found Akane's no-holds-barred aggressiveness much more attractive. Had Shampoo taken a similar role, she might have actually gotten somewhere back when Akane had been pushing Ranma away.

He twisted over on his other side, grumbling softly to himself. What really bothered him was this martial arts business. He constantly had to check-rein the potentially lethal abilities that Ranma possessed. It was like working with a top competition horse. There are distinct limitations placed on the horse by the rider's inexperience. A horse, trained and capable of performing at the highest level of the equestrian arts, can be endangered by an inept rider attempting to execute them. A top racehorse cannot run as fast or safely with an amateur jockey. Barry's only advantage here was the very thing that may have trapped Ranma away from his body, the Nekoken. The increased reaction time it bestowed gave him a little more leeway in dealing with Ranma's lethal skills, allowing him to let out a little more rein and balance more easily in the saddle.

Ki… There was nothing in his philosophy that argued against it, but the reality had struck like a bomb and opened new possibilities like a bird taking flight for the first time. The power and control it made possible were very seductive. He hoped if… when he returned, he retained this talent. He was hopeful that he could, as it was one area where he seemed capable of improving and developing while in Ranma's body. He wondered what Ranma would think of how he'd used the shield in the avalanche first as an anchor and a shield, then as a weird surfboard. They had been discovering how to use the ki-vision to detect injuries and medical conditions and, if the business with the Amazons proved out, were beginning to learn how to use ki to heal.

He sat up then, body vibrating with adrenaline. He couldn't sleep. His mind and body were not exhausted enough. He also had an idea that might be of benefit to Ranma when he returned, or to Akane if he did not.

He ghosted out of the guestroom and down to the kitchen. Kasumi kept a cupboard stocked with tablets and paper for school. He poked around and found a fat, spiral-bound notebook. Perfect! He left a note on the counter for Kasumi to let her know he was taking it and returned to his room.

He would leave a written record for Ranma, just in case, so events that affected him could be accounted for when he returned. This would be especially important when it came to martial arts and, though Ranma would not admit it, relationships. Turning on the light — reading with ki-vision was chancy — he began to put down what had happened since Himamashi's.

Journal: Ranma's Guest - Monday, 2 September 1991 - Day 9

Ranma, I hope that this record will help you pick up your life after my inadvertent interference. Akane, of course, realized immediately that something was wrong. When we finally got some privacy, I explained the situation as best I could. She was pretty devastated. She loves you, you baka. I hope you realize how special she is.

I made the freak clean up and repair Himamashi's. I bluffed, of course. I'm pretty sure Happosai could clean my clock right now, despite the fact that the Nekoken is on all the time. Yeah, I know! If you don't have it when you get back, it'll probably be because you're suppressing it. I think that, if you could get over your fear of certain furry creatures, it would be on full-time for you, as well.

Smell and hearing are marginally improved; reaction is the big gain, thank God! People would really get suspicious if you became an incompetent martial artist. I'm a little concerned about how your body will react to your female side's fertile period, considering what happened at the lake. I'll update you on this in particular and lock myself in a closet if it proves to be dangerous.

To the news: Ukyo was missing almost the entire time we were at the lake. She has developed a directional malfunction similar to Ryoga's. While she was lost she even developed amnesia...

Half an hour later, he decided he had written about as much as he needed to for now. He turned out the light and tried to get some sleep again. It was not forthcoming. He rolled to a new position and looked out the window at the lights of the city in the distance. Tokyo was enormous. He had been to New York, which he felt was comparable in size and population density. Yet despite the proximity, the night was astonishingly quiet. Japan was certainly different.

In more ways than one he thought, stiffening. A feline form was briefly silhouetted against the lights. As far as he knew, New York did not have cats that would transform with hot water into pretty naked girls; the play 'Cats' being no exception. She held a plastic bag in her mouth, which he assumed contained hot water. This could get interesting.

Akane rolled to a sitting position on her bed and blinked wearily. P-chan II 'bweed' inquiringly as she rose to her feet and stepped into her slippers. She just couldn't sleep. When they had been tracking Ukyo, she had been able to flop onto her bedroll and deal with the dreams and stagger to her feet again. Tears rolled down her face, the remains of her latest nightmare only just shredding away. Deciding she'd like to clean up, she left her room and padded down to the bathroom. P-chan II followed her out.

It was disconcerting just how similar in habits the pig was to Ryoga. She did not let it sleep on her bed, though, just in case Ryoga had second thoughts and decided to slip in some night. As she returned to her room, the pig suddenly darted forward to scrape at the door to the guestroom with a hoof. She stood there in her slippers and pajamas for almost a minute before walking over and lightly tapping. The pig grew more insistent, almost growling. Puzzled, she opened the door. In the light from the window, she saw P-chan II charge at a familiar pink-white feline. With a screech, the cat dodged the other animal and fled to the window. Giving Akane a reproachful look, it vanished into the night.

"Honestly!" she demanded, closing the window to avoid a repeat of the invasion. "I offer to help her and she shows up like this? Is she still acting on bimbo mode?"

"Who knows, Akane," Barry answered, sitting up. "Maybe she actually had something to say for a change. I'm glad you turned up with Mr. P here, though." He scratched the little piglet behind the ears. "I really didn't want to deal with Shampoo, in either form, right now." He watched her staring out into the night, the light from the window turning her form into an ethereal silhouette that…

"Uh, Akane? Could you move out of the window, please?" He turned away as she pivoted to stare at him.

"Why?"

"Because those pajamas are damn near transparent when the light's behind you like that."

"Barry," she growled.

"Give me a break, Akane," he growled right back.

"An arm or a leg?" she asked sweetly, but stepped to one side.

"I'm a married man, Akane; I've seen it before. Heck, I saw it all up at Himamashi's, fer cryin' out loud!"

Akane slowly subsided. She slumped against the wall beside the window and slid to a sitting position. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too. It'd be a hell of a lot more satisfying to yell at Ranma, I'm sure."

"That Shampoo!" Akane said suddenly. "Barry, is Shampoo really blocked from using her ki?"

"Yup. The astral lines, if that's what they are, are all tied up. She's less likely to project than you are to swim."

"Thanks." He could tell she was glaring at him.

"Look at it this way, Akane. This might be the first break we've got in getting Ranma back."

"Oh? How?"

He smiled in the dark. "Who else has the largest, most tested, arcane library in the region? We may not have full access yet, but I think I can come up with ways to convince them to let us get the information we need."

"I hope so. I feel so helpless."

"Can't sleep, huh?" Barry nodded. "Me, too. God, I miss Gwen and Brendan!"

"What are they like?" Akane asked quietly.

"Brendan's a little ball of fire, very active, very athletic, not afraid of anything. He's blond, blue-eyed and about yo tall," Barry held his hand above the floor. "His hair will probably darken as he grows up, mine did and so did Gwen's. He's very stubborn and, according to testing, he's smart, well above genius level. He's a handful!"

"And your wife?"

"Taller than you, though a proportionately a little heavier when she was your age. Brown hair she wears like Ukyo. Hazel eyes. A smile I'd die for right now. Her nose is longer than yours, and slightly crooked. She's got a temper and has given me a figurative kick in the pants a time or two, when I got out of line. She's never hit me though and I've never hit her. We tell each other 'I love you' at least twice a day, and…"

Akane sighed, thoughtful. "My mom and dad were like that," she said. "I wish…"

"It wasn't like that in the beginning, Akane. It doesn't just happen. It takes a lot of work." He waved at her to gain her attention. "As for the hitting, you can change anytime after he gets back, sweetheart." He rose to his feet and rummaged through Ranma's clothes pulling out his gi. "I can't sleep. I'm going to work out in the dojo."

"Can I join you?"

"Suits me. Gonna put me through the wall again?"

"Worth trying." Her voice held a poorly concealed glee.

"Thought so. Just remember, 'you break it, you fix it'. Camp rules."

"Sounds fair."

"One other thing, you need to watch yer defense better. If I was playing fer keeps, I'd be buryin' ya right now instead of rubbin' my own bruises."

"Oh, really?" Her voice was a challenge.

"Really. I'd be a poor guest if I let my host's girlfriend get herself killed because she wasn't watchin' for the lethal stuff."

"A girlfriend, am I?" Akane liked the sound of that.

"Well… One of them, anyway."

"Barry!"

Ranma woke with a start. Something was making the bed bounce up and down painfully.

"Daddy!" (glomp!)

"(Owie!) Hi, Brendan." Barry's son snuggled in against his side. "Isn't it a little early yet?"

"Brendan…" A sleepy voice that buzzed against the skin of his elbow made him flinch. "It's… 5:35 in the morning. Why are you out of bed?" Gwen, veiled in her long hair, pushed up onto one elbow.

Brendan giggled. "Tomorrow's my birthday. Anyway, doesn't Daddy go to work today?"

"Daddy isn't going anywhere today," she replied firmly. She turned to her husband and ran a hand across her face to push the hair back. "At least, not to work. You know the rules, kiddo. Bedtime is from 8:30PM until 6:00AM. You have twenty-five more minutes to keep the covers pulled up over your head. You are a crabby little monster when you don't get your sleep."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

Ranma realized this could go on a while. He intervened. "Brendan, you realize someone else will get really crabby if you don't go back to bed?"

"Who?"

"Mommy," they said in unison.

"'If Mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy'…" quoted Gwen.

"Awww!" Brendan stomped back to bed.

After he left, Gwen looked at Ranma for long seconds. "Well, I'm not going to get back to sleep," she said finally. "Mind if I turn on the lamp and read?" She reached for the small lamp beside the bed that he was beginning to realize he shared with this woman. He shifted nervously and nodded.

"Go ahead. He'll be back as soon as the clock in his room reads 6:00, won't he?"

"He's your son."

'If only she knew,' Ranma thought. Then he recalled the question he had asked the night before. "Uh… Do we have any books on parapsychology, ah… martial arts, Qui Gong, that sort of thing?"

Gwen stopped propping her pillows up and looked at him, curiously. "You asked that last night, too. You know what we have around the house, your science fiction, history and engineering books, my romances and religion books, Mom's Bible-study books. If your Dungeon and Dragons material is still around, it's packed in the attic at your mother's. What are you looking for anyway?"

"Umm, well…" He stumbled mentally, looking for some way to continue this line of conversation. "Uh… Buddy pitched me off so fast yesterday, I thought it might be a good thing to look into martial arts to get better balance…"

"Really? When are you going to find time for that? You work over sixty hours a week, and don't get paid overtime because it's considered two separate jobs, barn manager and instructor." She suddenly stopped speaking, her eyes narrowing. "Bob isn't trying to talk you into taking yoga lessons, again, is he?"

A light burst on Ranma's thoughts. Of course! Bob was a yogi. It was a different line of training, but very well might have relevant information. He wondered if he could get away with going to work after all. He might just be able to…

"Uhhh…" He barely moved. Ranma was shocked. His healing abilities had never permitted him to get to this state before. If he had to face opponents like this, he'd be dead for sure. He just hoped the craziness that shadowed him in Nerima wouldn't follow him here.

"Maybe you better take another shower," Gwen suggested. "I'll wash your back again…"

"Um, I think that would be too painful, right now. Give me a rain-check on that, okay?" Ranma suggested. He was fortunate that he was in pain. It helped hide his nervousness. "I'll…erk! …get that shower."

He stumbled into the bathroom and stepped into the large shower stall there. His seeking hand found the knob and turned. Cold water blasted out of the showerhead. "No-o-o! Cold," he whispered. Ranma heard the door to the bathroom open. It had to be Gwen and she would see…

"You sure you don't want some company?"

"No! I'm… I'm fine…"

Ranma looked down at the borrowed body and sighed. Knees wobbled, but the body was definitely male. The curse hadn't followed him. Slowly he adjusted the temperature of the water to a steaming hot and turned his back into it. He'd have to be careful.

It'd be awfully easy to get used to this.