Chapter 18: Hysterics

So far: (I think ull have to reread the last chapter if ur depending on what I say here)

Severus takes Hermione to the dark circle and she is given the honours of being recruited as a death eater... oh dear... and Severus just stands numbly by while she is turned into one. When they get back to Hogwarts Hermione obviously reacts in a shocked way and refuses to let Severus touch her before stumbling back up to the castle...

She had been almost at the entrance of Dumbledore's office and it was surprising she made it so far before the inevitable happened. Staggering through the empty half-lit corridors of stone in the middle of night with no one but Severus who was following her at a safe distance there, she was weak and limp. Every step was a fight and win of her self-control over her shaky muscles. She supported herself meekly with a slipping hand on the smoothed granite of the walls.

She could see the gargoyle with her watery bloodshot eyes and with the encouragement of such a sight she had quickened her pace. That had turned out to be imprudent seeing as she instantly tripped and fell to the stone ground ungracefully. She collided with the floor with a smack that rang so thick it was sickening to Severus' stomach.

He heard fast approaching steps and did not stop to observe which of the staff was coming to his aid before racing forwards to help Hermione. He did not stop to think in his natural reaction that she did not want him to touch her...

She lay on the floor unmoving and sobbing silently, cloaked by her curly hair so he could not see her face. She made no attempt to move from the floor. Her navy blue cloaked back was hunched and arched into an uncomfortable ball shape and she shook with each invisible sob, her whole body wracked by the movement.

The sadness was overwhelming her, choking her mind and constricting her throat until the insides of her trachea were touching. She couldn't look at Severus – she had been staring at him the whole while they had permanently stained her forearm. Her self-value had dropped dramatically. Her arm was still fresh with pain and it just made what had happened so... real... She wished it weren't so... Reality sucked... really sucked.

He bent down before her with serious caring blackness in his eyes. The sounds of the footsteps were close.

He stroked a hand tenderly down her tensed back fluidly to comfort her. That was all that he intended and he wanted to take her up in his arms but he couldn't. She was too withdrawn. Her ragged breathing halted for a long moment and Severus thought she may have calmed down but he was wrong. She had held her breath sharply and when she looked up with her eyes to observe who was tending to her nerves she reacted as he should have expected – if he had been thinking straight.

She gasped and sputtered a few incoherent mutterings as she pushed herself away from him as quickly as she could with her sweaty hands sliding on the smooth floor, helped by the sleek material of her overlarge sleeves. Her vomit stained lips were beginning to turn raw and peel already and despite the unblinking of her wide flickering red eyes the tears flowed as effortlessly as ever. Several locks of hair were clinging to her moist bloodless cheeks.

Severus once again withdrew his hand sadly and respectfully moved a little backwards to allow her the space she wished for. The footsteps were almost upon them, he could tell.

Dumbledore was the one who was racing over to them. All he could see were the two identically clad figures wearing death eater robes, one curled up on the floor the other crouched down with the hem puddled around them. He immediately recognised the black shoulder-length hair at a distance as belonging to Severus but of the long haired brunette death eater... he did not know of.

Severus did not speak but Hermione, after staring at him with uncertain hate in her brimming eyes did.

"Don't TOUCH me," she cried and if she had not been rasping for air would have shrieked it at him. Severus flinched back from the cold address. Dumbledore stopped over his shoulder observing the confusing display as he tried to fill in the blanks himself. Severus could hear the footsteps and his keen ears pricked up that they belonged to Dumbledore. After several years the ability became natural.

Stopping to look down at the face of the female death eater he had never seen before (and trusted Severus enough to know she were no threat) he was not prepared to see what he did. His kind blue eyes clouded darkly behind his half-moon spectacles and his heart went cold, almost stopping in foreboding.

Severus refused to take his pained eyes off of Hermione for one second to glance up at Dumbledore. She was attempting and failing to force her eyebrows to glower at the cause of her suffering. It looked more like her face was twisting and crumpling painfully and she gave up, bursting into a fit of sobs, burying her ghostly face in the sleeves and her hands. Severus felt his heart bleed. He really wanted to hold her just to take away the mind-blowing terror and sadness in her eyes.

"Severus..." Dumbledore started, keeping his shocked stare on the sobbing figure whose noises were inefficiently muffled by her sleeves and hands. "Is that Miss Granger?" Severus had never felt worse, even when Stella died, even when his mother had died just before his coming to Hogwarts. This beat it all. His insides were thick, clammy and not held into their proper places. It seemed as though they were floating around and the sensation was the most unpleasant and unwelcome he had ever experienced.

Hermione was now on the verge of choking on her own loud sobs and was already way past hyperventilating. Each sound that ripped from her sore constricted throat he felt as though a piece of his flesh was being torn from him painfully. His nerves were electric and tingling despite the fact Hermione was the only one who had endured actual physical pain. That had made him feel shoddier when he realized it. It seemed there was no end to exactly how bad he could feel.

"Yes," he said numbly. He wasn't aware that he had parted his lips or that the sound had past through them or even that he had heard Dumbledore to begin with. He could not look into her eyes without seeing himself reflected in them.

Dumbledore felt his own blood go cold but reacted adequately, as Severus expected. He brushed past Severus, crouched before her, and swooped down on the quivering hiccupping girl. Hermione watched him through a gap in her fingertips that were uncovered by the robes. Dumbledore was nice, a benevolent old man. He wouldn't hurt her.

He bent down quickly and Hermione let him help her up by her upper arms. She didn't own any strength of her own so she depended on him to hold her fragile frame upright. He managed easily. He was sickened by the state she was in. No girl her age should be put under such distress. She continued to mask her face frightfully with her hands and Severus was burning inside at not being able to touch her.

Dumbledore had an arm around her back, under her arms and she was amazed she had the energy to move her feet at all.

They were just outside the gargoyle anyway so Dumbledore did not have to support her stumbling form far. Severus stood slowly, feeling as though he was carrying the weight of a ton of bricks. His head began to spin with images of the sharp metal instrument piercing the skin of Hermione's arm. He had every opportunity to stop it but under the eye of the Death Eaters he had frozen. It was too soon to reveal his alliance. He was needed – he reasoned. But all the same, he should have been more than willing to throw his duty aside for her. He hadn't. In hindsight, he was a fool.

His eyes followed the two shadows of the old man holding up Hermione stopping before the gargoyle. He did not hear Dumbledore utter the password but he must have seeing as a moment later the thing sprung aside and let them through.

He immediately caught up with them in quick paces that were not his own. His robes billowed out behind him in his rush and he felt as though he were not moving, rather floating along because he could not feel the stone beneath his feet.

He passed through the gap before the statue moved back into place and let them walk ahead of him. They were on the moving staircase and Severus stepped on it too. It carried him up behind them and he kept his eyes down. Taking his eyes off of her did not stop him hearing her quiet sobs that she was trying to hold back and violently failing.

He heard the two get off the top step and the sound of his office door opening just as he reached the top of the stairs himself. He was depending on his automatic gear to keep him moving at all because his own thoughts had shut down and he was running on what he supposed he should think.

Dumbledore and Hermione were gone but the door of his office was wide open and Severus naturally walked over to it, assuming he was to be at her side as Dumbledore tried to calm her. He had no more gotten one foot through the door when he saw Dumbledore (after having settled the shivering Hermione in an armchair) coming back over to him with a firm look on his face.

Severus did not fully understand when Dumbledore shook his head and pointed a withered hand over his shoulder in the direction he had just come. He blinked and tried to focus enough to comprehend.

Hermione lifted her frightened eyes over the tips of her fingers from her curled position of the armchair to watch as he pointed Severus out of the room and then followed. The two left in silence and her iridescent eyes trailed the movement as the door swung shut behind them. There was a soft click and Hermione realized she was alone.

She lifted her head a little and her drying cheeks with the clinging strands of hair were still white with lack of blood and her head was starting to throb painfully. Pulling her hands away from her face revealed the frightened hue taking control on it and making her appear sunken and drawn from lack of cheerfulness.

She tried to absorb some of the friendly vibe of Dumbledore's nicely lit oval room with the ticking objects she still did not recognise. The attempt to feed off of the atmosphere to retain some form of comfort not her own was useless. She only felt worse with every second and fresh tears swelled out of her painfully sore eyes and the hot watering of them as they fell away was becoming more and more unpleasant. She hardly noticed, however.

After pulling herself together enough to silence her loud sobs, keeping them down to quiet shakes that attacked her whole body, she could hear voices through the door. There were the sounds of rough questioning and numb quiet replies. She could decipher barely anything but what could was that Dumbledore sounded angry and disbelieving. She understood this completely, of course.

Wearily lifting her head to listen better she heard the sound of retreating footsteps. Once again her heart began to race. Dumbledore wasn't going to leave her here alone was he? Even worse, would he leave her here with the reason for a fresh tattoo on her forearm? No, he couldn't be so cruel.

Her breathing was coming in harsh gasps that were growing more irregular the more she hyperventilated.

She could feel the shape of the burn under her skin plainly as though it was drawn into her memory as well as her flesh. The part of her that wasn't hot and stinging with fire was cold and soggy as though she were dead. Her blood must have stopped circulating ages ago, she wildly considered and why she had not dropped already was a mystery to her.

The door opened again and Hermione instantly clutched her mark through the dark blue sleeve of her robe automatically and didn't even notice until her skin cried out in pain and she withdrew her hand immediately. It throbbed fresh under the sleeve and she did all in her power to ignore it. She turned her attention to the door and who was behind it.

She let out a relieved sigh that sounded more like a soft rasp from her sore throat. Dumbledore was there. Severus was not.

"There is much to discuss."

Harry, Ron, Ginny and Draco were called upon and brought to Hogwarts by floo in total confusion. They hadn't turned in for the night as they had all been worrying for her safety.

Hermione wasn't aware they were there at first. She kept her face buried in her hands and cried non-stop until she heard a sharp gasp. It came from the direction of the fireplace where Dumbledore had left her with the promise of returning quickly. She was curled up on the chair with her legs tucked under her and her head bowed down with her curly hair hanging down on either side of her face and the sounds of her crying escaped it.

Ginny had been the one to gasp when she had seen the sight the moment she set foot out of the fireplace. Beside her were the three boys lined up looking totally blank and staring at the hunched figure unsurely. Ron was pale with worry, Harry was red with anger at whoever did this to her and Draco was going slightly green when he recognised the robes she was wearing before any of the others did. He began to shake his blonde head but no one noticed.

Hermione tried to stifle her noises and only her overwhelming curiosity managed to contain them. She took a couple of moments to try and control her body and her incessant shaking. After five or so incredibly deep breaths to attempt to stave off her irregular gasps she could pick her head up from being squashed into her palms and the blue sleeves and peer up at who else was there.

The brightness that hit her eyes of the room was stronger than she remembered. Ginny would have gasped again if her breath had not caught in her throat. Hermione was a living wretch. Her cheeks were so pale they were starting to look blue-ish. Her eyes were wide and bloodshot with raw hot tears staining them and her face. Her nose was red and her lips were quivering.

Following her first instinct Ginny ran forwards to the large periwinkle blue wool armchair. Hermione saw through the wet haze a red haired blur racing over to her and the corners of her lips twitched as she tried to contain another fit of hiccups. The blur could not be anyone else but Ginny. She was feeling a little better but still the worse she had ever felt in her life. Her insides had sunk to her feet and her head was spinning with a headache.

Ginny was upon her in a moment and flung her arms around her wracked shoulders comfortingly. The warmth and security of her friend was all she needed to remind her of who had indirectly done this to her. She could not help it as she broke down into worse tears against Ginny's shoulder.

The boys began to walk forward completely at a loss for how to comfort their friend. Also they where dying with interest as to what had happened to her to get her in such a state.

Hermione felt so weak that in any other situation she would have considered herself a baby but her whole body was heavy and shaking totally beyond her command and her head hurt so much that it was blinding. Ginny was rocking her and shushing her soothingly but it did nothing but give her the comfort of knowing someone cared. It would help in the long term but right now the thought did nothing for her.

Dumbledore passed the boys and walked over to his desk to take his place behind it. Ginny was ignoring everything except her dearest friend who was nothing more than a rare pile of nerves. Hermione was sobbing into the material of her shoulder and she concentrated every thought of the... thing... on her arm. When would the burning subside?!

The boys gathered around the two figures as Dumbledore made himself comfortable in his own large chair and observed with sad blue eyes.

"What's wrong?" whispered Ginny in a calm motherly tone when Hermione's sobbing settled down a little because of lack of air. The boys' attention peaked and they listened intently but Draco already had a vague horrible idea of what she would say. Hermione didn't want to answer but she knew that it would be better to let them know sooner. She tried to control her ragged breathing so she could speak. It was the most miserable failure and her choked sobs repeatedly escaping her lips prevented her from making a single voluntary noise.

She lifted her cumbersome head that was threatening to explode from pain. Her raw eyes rested on Harry's protective expression first who was looking ready to murder whatever cause for her distress. It melted into pity at her glance before she looked to Ron who was looking as though he may have caught her feelings like a disease for the lack of blood in his freckled cheeks. Draco on the other hand was looking at her in disbelief with wide grey eyes.

"I-I," the first sounds to properly escape her throat were a relief to know she could speak at all. But those were the only noises she could make. She didn't want to do it but the only way to explain was to show them. She gulped and a hot smudgy tear burned her eye before slipping away down her cheek and singeing the skin.

She decided she had to be strong enough to look at it, even if she never saw it again. She would never see it again, she decided. She would bandage it up and never let the skin of her forearm see the light of day ever again.

Lifting herself with a weak courage away from Ginny for a moment she kept her head bowed and her body curled. She shakily held the sleeve of her dark blue robe and Ginny could feel her whole body shake violently as she did. Hermione hesitated with her fingers caressing the smooth material between her thumb and forefinger and her breathing becoming harsher with every moment.

In one movement before she thought about it too long, she pulled the thick blue fabric back away and revealed the flesh of her arm. She pinched her eyes shut as soon as she saw a hint of the permanent skin-tainted black. Her lids stung in protest to her mistreating them but she could not look at the ugly shape. She let the others look, however. She heard a fatal gasp from Ginny and several throat noises and choking sounds from the boys and Draco sucked the air through his teeth as he confirmed his worst fear.

"No..." a hoarse whisper of firm denial from Harry. He shook his black-haired head but his eyes stayed glued to the haunting sight.

"W-what?" stuttered Ron feeling as though his whole stomach flipped. All their eyes were wide at the skull and snake imprinted on the bared arm of their crying friend. Ginny may have fainted if the need to comfort Hermione wasn't so powerful a primitive emotion. In cases of stress and shock the primitive emotions take control of a person's actions. It was like an automatic gear for the mind.

Hermione's vomit coated tongue was about to choke her. If she did not focus all her concentration on her breathing she could very well swallow her tongue. Forcing herself to take deep breaths did little for her wracked nerves but it did a lot for her screaming muscles.

The boys, on the other hand, were numb all over in disbelief that their friend was a... Death Eater. They could not speak their fears - the reason was plain just looking at Hermione. She was distraught and a total shell of herself. The real her was somewhere in her like a dying seed shrivelling fast into the corner of its case. Her heart was bleeding torpidly and pictures of Severus started to surface before fading away into the image of his calm face as the tool pierced her skin... It made her angry.

Harry could not believe it. How could he? Hermione, his best friend and one of the kindest people he knew was the furthest thing known to him as what he categorized Death Eaters as. Hermione a... Death Eater? How did those two things fit together!? They didn't!

Hermione abruptly tore the sight away from their googly eyes by pulling her arm away and covering it hurriedly as she sobbed and Ginny was wide-eyed and unblinking as she rocked her. She was thinking along the same lines as Harry, so was Ron. Draco on the other hand was considering how this had come to be instead of how impossible it was. She had said she was going out when there had been a ring at the door. They had never found out who it was but whoever it was must have been who brought her to the meeting. There was only one person he could think of who belonged to that circle who she would so readily go with and his mind could not let him even consider it...

"Did Snape do this to you?" he asked quietly and all the silent gawking eyes turned to him in startled surprise. They did not know what to make of his serious question and he looked at Hermione carefully who still had her face buried against his girlfriend's neck.

"Yes," she managed to say hoarsely and bitterly. Ginny let out a painfully loud gasp, her eyes flying open wide. It was impossible to her mind. Snape, mean and grouchy as he was, loved Hermione and she loved him back. She started to squeeze Hermione a little too hard but her flesh was cold and numb so she did not notice. Dumbledore had stayed silent for the most part letting her friends help calm her down. Familiar voices and benevolent faces were always welcome to the hysterical.

Harry's face started to burn crimson and Ron's began to turn from panicked to mimic Harry's. They were both filled with rage to the point of steam spurting from their ears or cooking a raw egg on their foreheads. How could they have been stupid enough to stand by and allow such a wrong relationship to fall through? Harry for better part felt he had betrayed Hermione because he had always owned a lingering suspicion he was truly evil. They could have stopped this, had they intervened. Hermione was their friend and it was their just duty to do so.

"All shall be explained once we transport Hermione to a safe place to rest," Dumbledore said quickly before they dragged out any more foul and bitter thoughts and memories from the distressed mind of Hermione. He looked to their faces and they looked up at him in return all with equally demanding looks (apart from Hermione still sobbing and shaking).

"Where will she stay?" Harry was the first to ask wanting nothing more than to be by the side of his second nearest friend. His features were pale and drawn and Dumbledore was sad to pick up that within the past few minutes each of them had matured dramatically.

"She will, of course, go into hiding," he elucidated and they all picked up the melancholy tone, "I have a house already set by which was intended for Malfoy." He nodded at Draco who blinked in reply. Taking a hand and fiddling with end of his silver beard comfortingly he took a deep breath before continuing. "She can take that house if you do not mind?" he asked Draco, raising a white brow over his gold-rimmed spectacles.

Draco frowned as if the question were offensive. "Of course not!" he snapped and Dumbledore gracefully ignored his disrespectful tone. But in a calmer voice, he continued, "I, however, have decided to take you up on your offer at last and will share the house with Hermione and no doubt the others will want to move in as well." Dumbledore and the others, for that matter, all looked surprised at his humbling act and the offer to move house, once again. But when they thought about it they did not need long to confirm that they were more than willing to move in with Hermione into her new home.

"Is that alright with you?" he asked the other three who nodded vigorously with wide eyes and he smiled at them, a smile with no mirth.

Dumbledore studied each of their faces. This was a mess he had had the power to prevent if he had seen the flaws with Severus' plan sooner. Severus was downstairs in his chambers. He had sent him away knowing that his face was the last one Hermione wanted to see. It was a fresh reminder of the pain that had been caused.

"Mr Weasley," he addressed Ron of all the others for the reason being that he was Hermione's dear friend and Harry would have too much to deal with to take on the duty he was about to ask of him. Ron turned to face the large overcrowded desk properly with a blank angry expression. "Would you mind being Draco and Hermione's secret keeper?"

Ron was startled at first, having that been the last thing he expected to hear but after a moment he gathered himself enough to answer with a still blank face.

"It would be no more than my duty as a friend," he replied coolly and blinked his unfocused blue eyes once.

Hermione heard this all clearly and the thought of hiding sounded the sweetest thing in the world to her ears. She exhaled softly against Ginny now that her breathing was calm. Her headache was nowhere near better and steadily getting worse. Hiding from the world... a dark room... a warm bed... all sounded so sweet and tempting as they never had before. But... if she were to stay in this house how was she supposed to complete her first stage of university?

As if reading her thoughts (for all she knew he probably could) Dumbledore spoke on the very topic. "Ron, you will have to bring Hermione all her textbooks and assignments for her to study from. I trust she is capable of teaching herself from textbooks?" Nobody answered because they were all waiting for the other to speak. The answer was not needed because it was obvious no one was more capable than her.

"Can I go now?" a quiet strained rasp came from the curled up figure in Ginny's arms and surprised them all. Dumbledore eyed her long and hard, in her loose undone blue robes looking more pitiful than ever, peering over Ginny's reassuring shoulder right back at him. Her brown eyes were raw and her cheeks regaining their blood in blotches and her lips still violently quivering.

"Yes, that would be wise," he agreed. Hermione was so relieved despite the new salty tears trailing down her cheeks. "But one final question... do you want Severus to be informed of your whereabouts?" He looked her in the eyes and felt sick to his stomach when she looked mortified and pale again.

"No!" she cried sharply. Her reaction was harsh and strong but if she was to even think his name she began to shake harder and feel clammy again. No. If Severus came within one mile of her vision she would break down into tears of blood. She could feel her heart bleed dry of love so quickly it was almost miraculous. The images of any happy memory with him leaked out of her heart until all she had of him to think of was the way he had seemed so tamed and doing exactly what was asked of him by the Dark Lord, even if it was to strip Hermione of her certainty and anything that kept her sane. She could not think of him by his name any more. The "Dark Lord" was a sufficient title and she finally understood the engrained fear of the Death Eaters.

The others were stunned, despite how obvious it should be how much she wanted to be rid of his face and his name. It added insult to injury for her. What should make them think such a way? It should be clear to everyone who had an ounce of sense that for the rest of her life she did not want to hear the name Severus Snape. Thoughts of him blackened her mind.

"Very well," Dumbledore finally said. "Mr Weasley, I will take you through the procedures and we shall leave immediately."

Hermione had immediately stumbled out of the fireplace and tripped over the grate and resulted in her crumpling to the floor despite Ginny's attempts to catch her. They had travelled separately because of their numbers by floo. Ginny stood by the grate waiting for Hermione but still she failed to prevent Hermione from slamming onto the carpeted floor of her new home, her hideaway.

Ginny was at her side in a moment, crouched with a hand on her back. Hermione took a moment with her hands crushed between her and the carpet and her ankle twisted, still caught in the grate. Her tears were beyond her control, she had given up on trying to stop them ages ago and hardly noticed as they continued to hotly kiss her sore cheeks.

Ginny watched her sadly and tried to hold back tears of her own. Hermione felt the comforting hand on her back but did not register it. Her face was barely off of the dusty smell of the matting and the entire world seemed so far away.

She struggled but did not want assistance as she used what little strength she had left to weakly raise herself by her hands and crawl away from the grate before attempting to get up.

As she forced herself up to a hands and knees position she felt the weight in her pocket slip out and fall to ground. She paid it more attention than anything else. Her arms trembled under her weight but she continued to struggle for power over her center of gravity. The friction burned her hands as she pushed herself meekly to her knees before allowing Ginny to haul her up.

The boys watched the pitiful sight uncomfortably as Hermione feebly got up with Ginny's help before stumbling forwards.

Behind her the fire once again flared up in whirl of emerald flames and when they lowered again Dumbledore was standing in its place. The boys turned their eyes away from the painful scene to the much easier on the eye of Dumbledore in his periwinkle robes. He stepped out of the fireplace calmly looking more downcast than Harry could ever remember and he had many memories of Dumbledore looking downcast.

He looked pointedly at Ron and then gestured with his hand in the direction of the front door, in view of the large room they were in. (The house was enormous but they hardly noticed for the situation). Ron blinked his blue eyes slowly at him then turned to look at the front door, blinked again then looked back at the weary headmaster. He had no power to register what he was implying.

"Follow me, Mr Weasley," he said patiently to the numb-brained orange-haired man standing frozen in uncertainty. He turned to Ginny holding up Hermione, who had her eyes closed and her head bowed. Her hair hung beside her face limply as she gasped for air and tried to clear her mind. "Miss Granger would be better off with the room up the stairs at the far end of the corridor on the left," he informed her and Ginny nodded. She daren't open her mouth for fear of crying as well.

Ron blinked again. He hardly remembered hearing the words that floated from the opening and closing mouth of his ex-superior.

He spun on his heal and robotically followed the gliding figure out of the door. They were soon trailed by the weak forms of Hermione and Ginny walking together towards the stairs. This left Harry and Draco alone in the new room, unsure of what to do where so much was happening and to stand silently, occasionally glancing at the other in doubt.

Ginny managed to find enough strength in her for both her and Hermione as she got the two of them to the top of the lilac carpeted stairs and down to the end of the hall... to Hermione's new room.

When Ginny stopped in front of it to open the door with a pale hand, Hermione eyed the door wondrously. This was to be her haven and she found both hope and relief in thinking here she would be safe. She could lock herself away and sleep until the day after tomorrow if she pleased, and that is exactly what she intended.

The thing swung open and Ginny heard Hermione sigh beside her even though she herself didn't know she had. One could hardly see into the room, the darkness from the closed curtains in the corner made it impossible. But despite the dusty smell of disuse filled her nose and the haze of dimness she could tell the room was large and spacious. There was the shadow of a large poster bed in the far corner and a desk to her right and that was all she needed.

Ginny took her arm away from Hermione's back slowly, pulling the loosely balanced robes further down her shoulders (not that she cared in the slightest). She stood straight feeling so frail that she couldn't be sure she would stay upright. But the fresh clean feeling that washed over her like the salty waves, stinging her yet purging the evil that chased her thoughts, left her able to walk by herself into the black fog.

Ginny followed her and shut the door behind them with a soft click that disturbed the silence like a bullet shot into the sky. It took both of them a minute to even recognise the sound. Hermione wandered over to the bed and stood before it, vaguely staring at it as if she didn't know what to make of it. Ginny on the other hand headed straight for the curtains.

Hermione turned around and looked at her friend in the dark brown shadows of the room and then blinked. She glanced at the curtains then put the pieces of the puzzle together. Her eyes widened a little then she pinched them shut when it stung so badly that she could swear the skin around them would tear.

"No!" the urgent hoarse voice of Hermione stunned Ginny into stopping mid-movement in walking to the curtains. She watched Hermione's dirty shadow carefully.

"Hermione," her voice had a pleading tone to it. She gestured to the covered window. "You need light. It's not good to sit in the dark..." Hermione looked away from Ginny to where the floor was supposed to be but it was too dark to see. Ginny was too much in shock to realise that it was in fact the middle of the night and opening the curtains would make not the slightest difference. Hermione's mind was in slow motion so she obviously could not figure that out for herself right now.

She was not going to bother reply to that. She did not need light. It was perfectly fine to sit in the dark and even if that weren't the case she was willing to sacrifice the "good" that it wasn't to soothe her soul.

Ginny dropped the meek hand that pointed loosely at the window. She sighed. She didn't want to admit it because she knew it was not for the best but she preferred the dark too. Hermione kept her head bowed and once again her thoughts were swallowed, consumed by the burning on her arm. It was down to a dull throb by now but still emotionally painful and fresh. Her chin was close to the point of touching her chest and she gripped the mark on her left arm through the sleeve so intensely that her nails dug dents into her skin.

Ginny approached her but Hermione sensed something so acutely that she was at first unsure of herself. Her most simple train of thought had been violently disrupted. She could hardly count the fingers on her hands; however, she could acutely sense the emotional vibe radiating from Ginny. There was no doubt in Hermione's mind that if she stayed with her then Ginny would break down into tears. That would not help in the slightest; it would make her feel a thousand times worse if she was not the only weak one. She needed to be the only one suffering. Her friends shouldn't have to shoulder her personal pain, no matter how severe.

"Ginny...." Hermione croaked in a tone that implied a favour. She really was trying her hardest yet to speak properly and was slightly disappointed when her voice did not improve but it was like a drop of water in to the sea for her right now. Ginny caught the demanding manner of her voice. She looked to Hermione who was talking to her chest. "Could you get me some bandages and a safety pin to hold them together...?"

Ginny furrowed her red brows at this request before looking slightly panicked at the thought that she was a useless friend for not having asked what she was about to before now.

"You're not hurt are you?!" she gasped in alarm. She lifted her hands as if to shield herself from the bad news but Hermione had none to give.

She lifted her heavy, heavy head to look at the shadow of Ginny. She had her hair loose just past her shoulders and long straight bangs that were a visible outline in the dimness. Hermione was struck with the image of Ginny as a freckled eleven year old girl who she had occasionally confided in and over the years they spoke more and more together until they were close friends in the end. But now she felt so distant from Ginny. Who was the freckled round-faced little red-haired girl staring at her?

"No," she said for the second time that minute. She closed her eyes slowly and shook her head, her draggled hair flicking her face that had become so from tears, vomit and the strain of falling, stumbling and trashing combined. Ginny relaxed visibly and her frame regained some trace of relief which helped shatter the little girl reflection.

Hermione suddenly raised a hand to her head and pressed it against her forehead. Her headache had just let loose an enormous shooting pain that ripped through her brain. She rubbed her temples in a strained movement. What worse time could a headache come? But under what better circumstances could a headache form? She was unaware that she had lifted her left hand and as the huge blue sleeve slipped down to her elbow revealing her rolled up sweater sleeve and the bare skin of her forearm on which Ginny had a perfect view of the Dark Mark. This was another bonus for the darkness for Ginny did not see it.

"I want to wrap up that filthy symbol in my skin so that it may never see the light of day ever again..." she felt a little proud of herself for managing to give a further explanation that was not absolutely necessary.

Ginny understood to the maximum extent someone who was not the sufferer could. She turned on her heal (much better off not noticing the grinning skull but still very pale and shaky) and left without another word.

Hermione stood by the bed and watched her leave for the bandages but decided to wait until Ginny returned, helped her wrap up the stinging foul thing and left before she would pour her heart and soul into her tears.

Aaaaah!!! So depressing! Sorry! But this is what I promised in the summary and I have the full plan and everything so now I'm following my own strict instructions.

This is where I started my other story. I need something light to write when not in the mood for this because... as u can see... its getting thick now. I wanna change the ending so they'll just kiss and make up!!! (Damn this story is getting too large!) It's taking forever to write with my mind wandering to other things. However it will not prevent me from finishing this story. Btw: Evanescence is good to listen to with this.

This story was originally a short practice starting from a few plot bunnies and it's grown to this size! I have much left... your reviews really cheered me up! I got back to writing this story once more so never fear.

I just dipped into HP5 and saw that the storeroom is in his office not his classroom! But they must all be connected or else how would Hermione get to it to steal from it in her second year in such a short time?

Anyway, nice comments always make me happy and opinions are always openly listened to and seriously considered.

A big tight bear hug, Snakecharmer. OOO