Guest Ki: Chapter 28
Relationships
"Cologne, this Nyanniichuan curse… Is there any history of personality changes from it?" asked Barry nervously as she waited for the kettle to boil on the stove in the kitchen of the Nekohanten. The treatise they had been studying the last two evenings dealt with relationships between and interactions with the ki of a master attempting to influence the ki of an opponent. Something about the session had called to mind some of the influences Jusenkyo seemed to have on its victims. Now that the session was over, Barry's mind was darting all over the place, seeking out answers to questions. He tried to restrain himself but sometimes…
The Matriarch shrugged and stirred a pot on the stove, moving swiftly to season another, and then adjusting the flame beneath a third. "Most of the victims of Nyanniichuan have been animals, Ranma," she said. "Musk Dynasty and all that, or by accident. Few humans ever visited Jusenkyo willingly." She tasted the contents of a pot and added, "At least not until modern times and transportation made it easier to reach." She nodded, satisfied with the result. "Prior to that, it was rather difficult to interrogate a being that is unfamiliar with the uses of spoken language."
"That's true enough." Barry sighed and fidgeted. "Do any records exist as to who the girl was who drowned there?"
"No written records, certainly," came the reply. "Also, don't take the Jusenkyo guide's history of the springs too much to heart. I think his story is that Nyanniichuan is 1500 years old. Amazon tradition dates it much older."
"He lied to us?" Barry felt incensed. What a rip!
"No, he's telling the truth as he knows it. A lot of written records have been lost during the present government's various cultural revolutions, and the official party line assigned the springs to a particular imperial dynasty." She sighed, and looked distant. "Shampoo's grandmother, my daughter, died during one of those bits of nonsense." She shook her head. "I must be getting old; woolgathering like this." She sighed regretfully, apparently not noticing Barry's flinch.
"It's okay," Barry softly replied. He'd read some horrific things about Mao's 'reformations' but Cologne had lived through it. After a moment, he realized Ranma wouldn't necessarily brood over old blood. "Ahhh… What's the real story behind Jusenkyo, then?" Barry asked returning to that subject. "And I notice you didn't really answer me about the girl who drowned to make Nyanniichuan."
Cologne grinned and smirked. "I didn't, did I?"
Barry glared and checked the kettle. It wouldn't be long now. Ryoga was sitting not far away, waiting for the water to heat enough. Akane offered Ryoga a cracker, in a way that suggested to Barry that she still was responding to his pig form on autopilot. Shampoo bustled in and out, serving early customers. The glint of light off her hair, caught his curiosity bug. Before she could restrain herself she asked, "Shampoo? What color is your hair?"
Shampoo looked at her as if her 'Airen' were mad. "Is violet."
"Shampoo, please try to use proper grammar," Barry grumbled. Inside she was kicking herself. Was impulsiveness part of Nyannichuan? Stop it!
"Okay. My hair it… My hair is violet." She smiled smugly.
"That couldn't be its natural color," the redhead countered flatly, "though it's a damn good job." She turned to Cologne. "It's a dye that's ingested, isn't it?"
Both Amazons stopped dead. Cologne turned back to the redhead. "Very good, Ranma. As a matter of fact, it is. How did you deduce that?"
"It's not like I ain't never seen Shampoo in the altogether, Granny," Barry replied uncomfortably. "She's purple above and below, but the hair is soft, not dry and scratchy the way dyed hair is." She heard Akane growl softly. "The hair on her head is soft, I mean," she added hurriedly. "I don't know nothin' about any other hair!"
"Idiot," muttered Akane. Ryoga bwee-ed in agreement, though one hoof was raised to his snout in reaction to the comment.
Barry hurried on. "I wondered if Shampoo had a different hair color than most of the Amazons, since black hair doesn't take coloring well. If she had red or blond hair, that could explain this…" She pointed to her red hair. "…and maybe why ya won't talk about Nyanniichuan's first guest."
"You're free to speculate as you wish, boy," Cologne said indifferently. "Just remember your mother is also a redhead. Rare in Japan, but there you are."
The water was hot enough, so Barry transformed back and carried Ryoga to the bathroom along with his pack. Soon, the lost-boy and Akane were out the door. The former thumped Barry companionably on the shoulder and the latter warned him quietly to get his curiosity under control. They linked arms, very much like a girl with her date. Barry stared after them sourly; knowing that Ranma would probably be looking for some way to follow them, just in case.
"Mousse," shouted Cologne. That individual stuck his head into the kitchen. "Come in and translate for son-in-law, here."
"Grandmother?" whined Shampoo. "Can't I…"
"I want a translation, not a seduction, girl," she growled. "After we've corrected our 'problem', it may be another matter."
"Not fair!" Shampoo said, stomping off into the restaurant.
"What do you think, Mousse?" Barry asked as the man adjusted his glasses and gingerly rolled open a scroll.
"Hmmm? About Jusenkyo, Nyanniichuan, hair color, dyes or what?"
Barry blinked then decided the hell with it. "All of it."
"You are really strange, lately, Saotome."
He considered. "I don't know most of what you're asking about. We Joketsuzoku tend to leave the history in the hands of the women and the elders." He considered. "I was taught that Jusenkyo is around two thousand years old, however; and that the characteristics of most of the pools were set when it was made. Part of the trouble with Phoenix Mountain is over who actually owns the pools and the water there. Considering the origins of Saffron and Jusendo, I would say we 'usurped' their water." He smiled wryly. "Of course they only use it once every millennia or so. We could claim squatter's rights, I suppose."
"What about Nyanniichuan?"
"What are you worried about, anyway?" Mousse asked pointedly. "You don't like your looks? You wish it had given you different hair color? Or are you starting to get the hots for guys?"
"Mousse," Barry growled. "No, but I do act differently as a girl unless I concentrate on being what I really am."
"You're confused, Saotome," Mousse said shaking his head. "You're fighting the instincts of your assumed form. Look at me. When I'm a duck, I'm a duck!. If I focused on being a man while I was a duck, I could never fly or swim properly." He smirked at his foe. "Maybe the girl drowned in Nyanniichuan was a nymphomaniac?" Barry snarled. "All right, maybe she was just a natural flirt and when you relax, you pick up a little on that tendency," Mousse postulated. "Maybe that's why the Musk were able to pull off dumping animals in it for wives. I don't think a tiger, a bear or a wolf would be very happy with their husbands without a little outside help."
"Yer makin' me really uncomfortable, Mousse."
"You asked," Mousse retorted, chuckling to himself, removing his specs and cleaning them on the edge of his sleeve.
"Too bad yer pool didn't fix yer vision. It must be hell to fly when yer not sure of yer landing." Barry shook his head. "Betcha you could learn this ki-vision," Barry mused. Mousse froze as if solidly struck by a bonbori.
"You can teach that?" Mousse said in a small, strangled voice.
"Akane's startin' ta pick it up. Ryoga's at least getting an idea," Barry grinned at Mousse's expression. He tapped on the scroll. "Now about this new business… 'A sorceress of the Wa disciplined her followers by locking away their ability to desire one another…' I think I know how that could be done, and if yer third paragraph is sayin' what I think it's sayin, they use an emission of ki that adapts to the host body…"
"I suppose so," Mousse agreed half-heartedly. He frowned. "But why would you teach me?" he demanded, "Why would you give away such an advantage?" Then he cursed under his breath. "Damn it! Even if you are crazy enough to teach me, I promised Cologne I wouldn't train under you. "Mousse clenched his fist in frustration.
"Learn from Akane, then. Like I said; she's picking up on this pretty quickly." Barry shot back. "Besides, I'd kinda like someone on yer side of the aisle able to back me up when we get down to business, on this anyway." Barry frowned and turned his eyes back toward Shampoo as she bustled by the doorway. "I dunno, but we may need all the help we can get for this one."
Mousse stared at his rival and foe for a pregnant moment. "I'd give my life for Shampoo."
Barry shrugged. Mousse had proven that in the past. The more the merrier. Obligation might help, too. "Hey! Maybe we'll get lucky and we'll come across a book that says 'do A, B and C to achieve X, Y and Z and remove the block'."
Mousse snorted. "Like we'd be that lucky!" After cleaning his glasses on the sleeve of his robe he began to debate Barry on the meaning of the ancient writings.
Akane was supposed to meet him at 9:30 in the dojo. Soun and Kasumi left that morning, the rock in a heavy pack on Soun's back. Kasumi looked quite happy to have an excuse to get out of the house. Barry wondered if she would ever admit to having 'cabin fever'.
Barry, while checking for electronic surveillance, discovered that Ranma's father was a wavering ki presence manning a video camera and tripod just behind the dojo. Leaving him alone for the moment, he ran through a series of warm-up exercises to pass the time. Akane was now ten minutes late.
"Sorry! Sorry!" Akane bustled in. "Ryoga got lost in the men's room at a bathhouse near the temple and I couldn't convince anyone that I was serious about him needing to be led back out." She wrung her hands as Barry boggled at the possible ways that could be misunderstood.
"Uh…right. Never mind, I don't want to know."
"You don't believe me?" she demanded, reddening.
"Oh, I believe ya all right, I just don't want ta any time tryin' ta misunderstand ya."
She frowned at him, trying to figure out whether that was insulting or not.
"Akane, let's see how yer ki-vision's coming along." He jerked his head at the far wall. Akane blinked and looked around suspiciously, using her ki-vision.
"Is that" she cut off her query quickly least she apprise the uninvited watcher of their awareness. Seeing the dully-glowing form behind the wall, she whispered, "Is that… Uncle Saotome?"
"Yup!" Barry did a series of back flips interspersed with aerial cartwheels. "Watcha…wanna do…'bout him?"
"Oooh! I can't believe he's spying on us, hoping that we'll… That he'll catch us doing…" She stamped her foot. "Honestly!" she muttered.
"Do some warm-ups or something while we talk," Barry whispered. "Do we let him film a boring, uneventful evening? Or do we bust his butt?"
Akane gave it about three seconds of consideration and broke into an evil grin. "Bust his butt!"
"Okay, stand back." Barry stood still with his hands close together and concentrated.
On the other side of the wall, Genma crouched, eyeing the images in the viewfinder. He had agreed to go on the trip with Soun and actually traveled part way with him. Then he slipped away and returned to spy on his son and his son's fiancée. He hoped to get proof of some kind that the two were more intimate than they let on and force an early wedding. Even a single kiss would do, and with the kind of action that happened in a sparring match, it would be easy to lift a few frames for misinterpretation. If nothing happened tonight… Well, he had drilled a hole into the ceiling of every bedroom in the house, so if they were even more enthusiastic… sneaky old Genma would wow the two of them with his home movies!
Behind the dojo, Genma frowned. He wished they'd hurry up and do something. Akane was still doing warm-ups and Ranma was… What was he doing?
Barry stood straight, his hands now over his head. Akane stepped back nervously. Rotating slowly on his hands was a ki-ball as wide as he was tall.
"Barry," she whispered. "If you let that thing loose, you'll wipe out the neighborhood!"
"Nah! It just looks impressive," he whispered back. "Watch." He leaned back, winding up and then with a smooth motion, threw the ball toward the wall Genma hid behind. "Seishinteki Zenmetsu!" he shouted as he released it.
Genma jerked upright. 'Spiritual Annihilation'? What the hell was that? His head ducked down again in time to see the ball of energy grow large in his viewfinder. He hurriedly backed away toward the boundary wall. He hadn't seen such a huge ki-ball since the Hibiki boy blew the side off a mountain. And with a name like 'Spiritual Annihilation… "Ahhhhhhhhhh!" The ball seemed to seep through the dojo wall energy crackling hungrily. He dodged to the side and stumbled as it turned and came after him. He backed rapidly away and dodged around the building. 'Ha! It's too slow moving to be effective.' His face fell again as the ball sank part way into the wall of the compound, paused and changed direction again, homing in on him. "Hey!" He shouted, alarmed and backed swiftly and nervously around the front of the training hall. "Ranma!" he bellowed. "What is this thing?"
"Pops?" He focused on his son's voice and his face froze. Ranma looked uncharacteristically mournful. Almost as if someone died… or was going to! "Pops! You… you were back behind the wall?"
"Yes! What is this thing?" He dodged a sweeping pass of the globe, which crackled and turned sharper as it neared him. He moved to set a tree between himself and the ball, and cursed when it moved right through the planting continuing to pursue him.
"Honored Father…" Genma couldn't believe his ears, 'honored Father'? "You must have been too close, I'm sorry!" Ranma fell to his knees, near weeping. Genma was getting freaked out. "There is no way to stop it now. I will remember you." Ranma's head fell, masking his face in shadow, his eyes hidden by his bangs.
"Ranma!" Genma backed out of sight with the ball following him at about ten kilometers an hour. "How do you stop this thing?" He leaped over the house. He turned and looked back at the building, only to see the ball sublimate through the walls and continue to pursue.
"I learned it from one of the forbidden scrolls Ryoga turned up. It was designed to act as a goad to sinful men to repent." Barry let his voice catch with concern. "When it catches you, it'll burn you until you are purified of spirit. Those who are beyond redemption… No! It's too horrible! I didn't mean to set it on you Pops! I'm sorry!"
"Sorry, hell! How do you stop it?"
"Only a pure spirit is said to be safe. Wait! There was mention of holy ground. Maybe, if you went someplace really holy, it would be confused by the over-all spiritual purity!"
"Now that's more like it, boy! Me for the nearest temple!" He started to dart away but Barry grabbed his arm and swung him out of the way of another pass, just coincidentally planting him partway into a wall.
"That might not be enough. Head for Mount Fuji! It's the biggest, holiest place around."
"Thanks, boy!" With tears in his eyes, Genma tore off in the wake of Soun and Kasumi.
Barry and Akane exchanged glances.
"To repeat the unnecessary: 'What a maroon!'" Barry added in english, after Genma disappeared. He turned to an astonished Akane who trembled with suppressed emotion and raised an eyebrow.
"HAHAHhaha-ha!" Akane howled with laughter. She staggered forward and fell against Barry still laughing and used him as a prop until her diaphragm began to spasm. Barry laughed with her for a while, though he was a little nervous about being in such close proximity to her. He was startled though, when he realized that somewhere along the way, the laughter had changed to tears.
"(Sob!) I wish… Ranma could have… seen that! (Waaaah!)"
Barry patted her back and felt helpless. "Well you'll just have to tell him, tomboy." Barry tried to be comforting. "That is, if he doesn't remember it on his own once he's back."
She continued to weep for some time. Barry held her for a while, stroking the back of her head reassuringly. His nose twitched. Damn! Akane smelled good! He had never smelled a perfume like this, but noticed in the past week or so, that some of the girls he brushed by in the halls wore it. Why would Akane...? He shook himself. It wasn't his business. And it wasn't good for Akane to go on like this for too long. He tried to snap her out of it. "Ya know, Akane, if we hadn't gotten rid of Genma we'd be in big trouble by now." She sniffled, dragged her face out of his chest and looked up at him.
"Thanks, Barry."
"No problem, sweetheart. I'm honored in your trust." Barry opened his arms and let her step away. "Let's go see if my static-charge ball left the camcorder in one piece."
"Okay."
As they walked outside, Barry pushed aside the memory of the scent and related what had happened that afternoon. Akane looked thoughtful at his theory about Nyanniichuan being made with an Amazon and the idea that Shampoo might be blond. When Barry snickered about blondes, she forced him to explain about blond jokes.
Barry noticed that she didn't seem to find the concept amusing. Even when he made note that both Picolet Chardin and Mikado were both blondes and therefore fair game for the concept, she failed to react. She only looked doubtful about the idea of teaching Mousse the ki-vision.
He was beginning to worry about her state of mind. He knew that he was a slap in her face every time she saw him. He wondered how he would feel had the roles been reversed and Akane had been thrown into his world, into Gwen's body. He shuddered. How the hell did she manage to make it through any single day?
The camcorder seemed alright, though the tape showed only static. After returning and sparring as a warm up, Barry sat Akane down to go through her ki exercises. It was soon evident she was having trouble dropping into the meditative state required for access to the new technique. "Talk to me, Akane," he demanded quietly.
"I don't want to talk to you!" Her voice was intense, agonized and grieving. He apparently hadn't brought her completely out of the earlier funk.
"But we're in this together," He pointed out. "In fact, Ranma may need us both to get him back home."
"It's going so slow! By the time we learn enough to bring him back, I could be a grandmother!" she shouted at him.
"Not without some help," he retorted. She went white even as he recognized his mistake. "Whoa! I'm sorry! I'm sorry; that was uncalled for. I knew what you meant."
She subsided, though her complexion was now flushed with anger.
Barry dropped the Ranma mask completely, in an attempt to put her more at ease. "You have the ki-vision now, Akane; even if you're not completely comfortable with it yet. Ranma told me it made ki manipulation so much easier to understand that if he's had it when Ryoga learned the Shi Shi Hokudan, he would have never wasted his time trying to imitated him. He would have come to that fight with two or three techniques instead of just an imitation with another emotion. It's that powerful a tool."
Barry settled and continued. "Before I came here, I relied on the same five senses we all use. Before I was stuck in Ranma's head, sharing his experiences, I wasn't even aware of ki. Ranma opened that door for me and because of peculiar circumstances; I discovered a room he hadn't opened before.
"Now, I have to concentrate to shut ki-vision off. Maybe it's because I'm alien to this place and this body, or maybe its due to the Nekoken being on all the time. Maybe it's because Ranma when he trained you at the lake, needed to know your limits and push you past them. He probably could have trained you without ki-vision, Akane, but he wanted the very best result in the least amount of time. Never mind why," Barry added hurriedly. No need to remind her of the pain Ranma had felt at her rejection. "Ranma kept me focused on ki-vision the whole time!
"Ki vision may be the most perfect sense anyone can possess, but it may be too perfect! With it, you can literally understand everything there is to know about anything you want to observe. Unfortunately, absorbing all that information about even simple things is too much for anyone to do. Still, I'd like to think I got pretty good at it."
His almost arrogant statement both reassured and ticked off the girl before him. "Okay, so how will this help get him back?" she demanded.
Barry swallowed uncomfortably. "Ranma was principally concerned in making sure I wasn't a threat to anyone else – you know how uncontrolled I was – than in getting rid of me, especially after we discovered ki-vision." He shifted on his knees. "The only thing I know for sure is that he didn't want the Amazons or any of his other rivals to know what had happened or what we were trying to do; send me back where I belong – his way!"
Akane huffed. "Ranma always was sooo paranoid!" She stilled as Barry glared at her.
"I admit his first assessment of anyone he meets always deals with threat. But, how often has his paranoia been far off the mark, tomboy?"
"Even about me?"
He watched her fists clench yet her spirit seemed lighter, less depressed. He side stepped the question. "Hey! With that father of his, who wouldn't be paranoid?" Barry added on a lighter note. "Now, simple things first; watch me do Ranma's tricks and try to duplicate how the ki works in your own body. Go with instinct. If you try to understand and control every little bit you'll never get it." Barry stood and walked to the fire bucket. Immersing his arms, he became she and returned to kneel before Akane. "I'll start with the shield."
"Why not the Mouko Takabisha?" Akane asked abruptly.
"It's funny, but I don't want you learning that from Ranma. You already have a better way of calling out energy like that." She chuckled. "If you can do it again, We're going to be learning from you."
"What are you talking about?" She frowned. Barry had to be making fun of her. Barry pointed to a singed-looking circle in the middle of the dojo. Akane shook her head. She had seen that, but assumed Barry or Ryoga caused it.
"The night Ryoga was here, you decided to play around a little while you were practicing, and I told you not experiment?"
Akane's forehead scrunched a little. "I did that?"
"Uh-huh!" Barry smiled lopsidedly. "I really don't want to try that again, unless we're someplace that's fireproof or easily replaceable." She tossed her pigtail and set herself. "Now, watch how the shield works…"
Akane tucked herself into bed and stared at the ceiling. Working with Barry was so different than working with Ranma. He was more patient and totally unconcerned that she might be better than he was at something, even supportive. Ranma was usually furious when someone seemed to surpass him, especially in martial arts. Barry also tended to think ahead to the consequences of actions. Ranma tended to improvise on the fly. Which didn't mean Barry didn't make mistakes; they were just wildly different from the ones Ranma would have made.
Akane had asked Barry about that.
"Hey, I haven't spent my entire life trying to be the best martial artist in the world, Akane," she had replied, still in girl form. "I am also more than twice Ranma's age; and that does make a difference in our outlook and approach. Ranma and I, though, both believe the student is a reflection of the teacher." The shoulders shrugged causing her breasts to bob. "Ranma might be ticked if you surpass him, but he'll be proud, too. Don't worry so much, Akane. Besides, you'd rather have him ticked and returned than otherwise, right?"
She had to agree with that. Then she had broached the subject pg training Mousse in this new technique. "After all, he's trying to kill Ranma."
"Over Shampoo. Look, Akane, I have eyes. Shampoo likes Mousse, but Amazon law is in the way." She demonstrated the shield for the umpteenth time that evening. "Besides, she does like Ranma. She's trying very hard to win him, and Amazon Law very clearly points the way, there. Hmmm… Amazon Law…"
Akane growled and again tried to imitate the shield, briefly freezing herself in a globe of force that didn't even allow her to speak. She released the effect in disgust.
"Hey, you almost got it there," encouraged Barry. They set up to try again. "What's worse for Shampoo, is that over the past two years, she's come to like and admire her rivals. Did you catch that bit with Cologne, where she was confused about what friends were? I'm willing to bet that she's desperate for friendship and that such a relationship is considered unnatural outside of her tribe."
"That's horrible!" Akane had exclaimed. Then a thoughtful look had crossed her face. "I wish we… I feel like Shampoo and I are starting to be friends…"
"You probably are." Barry watched as she finally put up a plane of energy that should be impervious to physical and ki attacks. "Rules are one thing, Akane, but this…" She struck with punches, kicks and then finally a few light energy attacks. "This is a matter of the heart." The redhead stepped back and nodded approvingly. "She's an awfully nice person under all that Amazon bull-crap. She deserves better than the cards she's been dealt."
"I almost feel like I'm betraying her," Akane had said, "or she's betraying me."
"With Ranma?" Barry snorted indelicately. "Watch out, Akane."
Barry stepped back a few meters. Suddenly ribbons were whipping through the shield Akane hastily threw up to wrap tightly around the girl. Akane flopped to the floor like a netted fish.
"Eeek!" Akane writhed but was unable to free herself.
"Damn! I really thought you had it that time," Barry had commented. "Oh, well… Try this: Get yourself out, Akane."
"I'm trying!"
"Akane, once those things hit you, they are yours. Your ki feeds them; therefore, you can command them. If you do it right, we found you can even get an energy boost from absorbing them."
Akane struggled and glared some more.
"Maybe I should let you sleep out here in the dojo, chubby cheeks."
"How dare you! My cheeks are not chubby!" she snarled. "And how you could tell, with me face down on the floor…"
"Oh, those weren't the cheeks I was talking about."
Suddenly, Akane found herself on her feet with her hands around Barry's neck. "Good girl," the redhead gargled, "that did it. Ranma's teaching techniques definitely have their place," she added when Akane released her in shock.
Akane shifted in her bed, clenching her hands. She had been so angry she had literally forgotten that the bonds were there; and then, they hadn't been. Barry had been almost nonchalant, but Akane knew Barry had been in nearly as much danger as Akane the night Barry had put her in the headlock. She had to get her anger under control. Barry picked up the conversation about Shampoo while Akane was still stuttering an apology.
"The way I see it is, once you have the experience, we'll set you up teaching Mousse. That'll firm up your own skills and Mousse will have an obligation to you, which means he'll try to avoid killing me or rather, Ranma."
"That won't change a thing with Shampoo, though, not in the long run," Akane sighed.
"Maybe not with Mousse, either, if he gets desperate. Damn! It's wiggling around right at the edge of my mind! We're missing something."
They had walked through the walkway to the bathroom where Barry dunked her hand into the furo. "That was kind of pointless," he commented, indicating the rinsing station, "I'm just going to go girl again. Anyway, I want Mousse to be there to help Shampoo in case anything goes wrong when we unlock her."
Akane suddenly grinned. "I've got you pegged now, Barry. You're an incurable romantic, aren't you?"
"Can I help it that I'd like to see everyone else have the same deal that I've got?" He grinned mischievously, and seated himself on the edge of the furo. "Man, I wish I hadn't gotten into the mix. Just think of the wasted opportunity here. Three or four days alone in this big house..." He grinned at her and waggled his eyebrows.
Akane twitched. She wasn't sure if it helped or not, Barry dropping the mimicry of Ranma again to allow his own personality to show through. Still… He believed in romance and true love. She blushed right to her toes at his comment about time alone with Ranma.
Though he usually dodged and twisted at any direct attempts to learn what Ranma's thoughts were about her, he wasn't as adept when he referred to her rivals. She knew solidly that Kodachi was 'in the running' only in her own twisted mind. Barry, acting on Ranma's behalf, brought up the possibility of adopting Ukyo into the Saotome clan, making Ranma's best friend his adopted sister. You don't marry sisters! Ranma planned to train Akane even before the incident on the island. If Ranma were choosing Shampoo, there would be no need to improve Akane's skills to be competitive with the Amazon. She may have been slow on the uptake with the Ryoga/P-chan thing, but now that most of the clutter was out of the way, she thought she saw how the ground lay...
"Oh, kami!" she suddenly exclaimed. She bolted out of bed and into the hall.
"What?" Barry looked as if he expected Ghengis Khan's hordes pouring up the steps.
"Ithought ofsomething we're missing!" She had both hands over her mouth.
"We're missing something?" Barry asked irritably. Was Barry as naïve as he seemed sometimes? It would fit in, to a degree, with his romantic streak.
"Shampoo! If she finds out we're alone, there's no way she won't think we've planned it, and… you know!" she squeaked in embarrassment.
"Come on, Akane! She got over that bit at the lake, she'll get over this."
"We had Ryoga at the lake."
"We had Ranma at the lake, too. Damnation! Maybe you're right. If we don't handle this right, we're might be in deep shit." He hissed in frustration, rubbing his head.
"It's late, but maybe not too late. Why don't I call her for a sleep-over?"
Barry rolled his eyes. "Shampoo? You know Mousse would have a fit!"
"So invite him along!"
"Want me to call Ukyo and Ryoga, too?" he asked sarcastically. "Remember what you said up at the lake about rumors?"
"What?" Akane was puzzled. Rumors? Oh, Ryoga...
"Something about having to deal with people asking about two girls, two guys and a pig in real questionable circumstances, and that was just the three of us." Barry looked appalled. "You bring everybody in, and we'll have Hiroshi and Daisuke trying to find some place to set up video cameras to watch the fun with... let's see… four girls, three guys, a pig, a duck, a cat… Oh, and a mad florist, because by that time Kodachi will have heard of it and butted in!"
"It's not like we'll be doing anything!" Akane had protested.
"You know that and I know that, but would the rest of the school believe it? Hell, would you believe it, had it been Ranma at say, Ukyo's? Or would you yank out your mallet and nail him before he said, 'Akane! It's not what it looks like!'"
Akane winced and looked terribly guilty.
"We need a chaperone," he grinned. "It's the best we can do, under the circumstances." He reached for the phone and dialed.
"Hello, Mom?" It was not long thereafter that Nodoka was over chaperoning.
It was Thursday: Barry had Akane cook without hovering, reminding her that she needed to keep her anger and frustration under control. Cooking was, according to Ranma's houseguest, as much a gentle art as martial arts were supposed to be. You didn't hear Kasumi screaming and thrashing around her kitchen. He had also removed any knife larger than a paring knife from her choice of weapons and stipulated that any preparation be done by counting 'one — place knife on food, two — slice with knife, don't lift, and three — raise knife from board. Four — Don't abuse Kasumi's cutting boards…'
Akane decided to try a stir-fry from her mother's cookbook. Barry made her promise not to improvise; reminding her that her mother's cookbook was like the script of a master playwright. Shakespeare was not Shakespeare if no one bothered to follow the script. She had immediately broken up, leaving him staring until Ranma's memories replayed the Romeo and Juliet incident. Nodoka, seated at the table already, watched the by-play with a smile and sipped her tea.
Rolling his eyes, he restated his case. She promised not to improvise. He also suggested that she sing to help relax in her work. She immediately concentrated and turned on her personal ki-driven radio. Shaking his head he had left her bouncing in time to some popular tune by a group called Rock-apella or something. Unusual group, no instruments and they could actually sing. Too bad they weren't around back home as far as he knew. He bounded up the steps and took out his journal.
Journal: Ranma's Guest — Thursday, 12 September 1991 – Day 19
Well, Ranma, I suddenly realized that, in one week, it's my anniversary. What are you doing tonight? That's rather petty of me, I know, but Gwen and I would have been celebrating our tenth. I hope you've managed to let her know what's happened without putting me in the loony bin or compromising our honor. Akane is making great strides and is going to be a real handful for you. Don't get any hentai thoughts about that remark. She's a rock… Damn, that doesn't translate too well. She's faithful to you as a samurai is supposed to be to his overlord. Sometime, I'm going to have to put down some advice for you about the facts of life. You two will both be much happier if one of you knows what you're getting into; and as near as I can tell, your dad doesn't know much beyond stick it in, pull it out. It really makes me wonder why Nodoka lets him stay in the same house with her. What a jackass!
I digress. Akane is downstairs cooking. Sounds scary, huh? She's come along though. Now that her anger is getting under control (usually), she's much more reliable. She actually made a lunch Monday that was good! Tuesday was a bit of a gag, and Wednesday, because the day before had been bad, was a disaster. If you're wondering where Kasumi is, she went with Soun to return that extra boulder he apparently stole…(read previous entry)…
All alone in the house? Don't worry, your mom is here, subtly trying to encourage us to... you know. So, we invited the entire gang, for a series of sleepover study groups. It saves running over to Ryoga's house, and your mom is kept busy watching Ranma get chased because of something perverted that I didn't do, but got blamed for. Costs are kept down by making everyone fix what they break. We felt it was all kind of necessary. Everyone at school will assume we're chaperoned. Those who know us well enough to know Nodoka, also know that Ryoga and Mousse will interfere in anything perverted. It's been weird, but it worked. Ukyo is disgusted. She never had time to watch animé, but Akane and Shampoo tape and watch that show for viewing after homework. Now, I think Ukyo is hooked and she doesn't even have a TV or VCR, yet.
Ukyo looks like she might be getting back in the mix. It's possible that she's picking up on the fact that Akane simply can't treat me the way she treats you. Emotionally, I mean. Ukyo strikes me as pretty perceptive and she may think that something has soured the relationship between you two, leaving her some hope. I have no idea how to prevent this, but it's a work in progress. Shampoo and Kodachi are about the same, except that Shampoo is actually beginning to pick up grammatical Japanese. Too-too scary!
Ki techniques: I scared the hell out of your dad with something I called the 'Spiritual Annihilator'. It's a big ball of charged static electricity aligned to a person's ki signature. It's impressive as hell, but won't do more than make every hair on his body stand on end if it caught him. Picture him in panda-form with every hair at right angles to his body! Nothing new, but I had it chase him up Mt. Fuji after Soun and Kasumi. He was prowling around here with a video camera, even had holes drilled into the ceiling in Akane's room and the spare room. Would have been useless anyway, but rather annoying to be spied on like that. Akane learned our ki-radio. You won't have to put up with that anymore since she can do it for herself. She also has a more effective version of the Mouko Takabisha. I'm practicing it myself; and hope it will also become part of your arsenal. Don't fuss at her! She needs your support to continue to grow, and she is your student as well as someone you love. I hope you read this before you sound off in your usual 'I'm better' mode, because you'll kill that love if you don't consider her achievements to be as valuable and creditable as your own. It occurs to me suddenly, that you actually competed with her over chest size in girl form! You're a guy! Why the hell did it matter whose boobs were bigger? She's also working at something I can't predict how it will turn out. She thinks she can so narrowly focus the ki-vision that it can act like a pointer for an individual over long distances, sort of like a homing beacon. I'm not discouraging her. It should be interesting…
Someone's entered the compound. I'll get back to this later.
"We're home!" caroled Kasumi, slipping the sturdy walking shoes from her feet at the entryway. "Mmmmm! Something smells good." Beside her Soun wearily discarded his own footgear. Though he normally went barefoot, he quickly discovered that his feet had grown soft from being housebound. He resolved to rectify the matter …after he returned. Just now, all he wanted was to sit down, have some supper and rest his swollen, aching feet.
"Afternoon, Kasumi!" Barry skipped down the steps. "Uh, did Pops catch up with ya?"
"Why, yes," answered Soun, gingerly stepping into the hallway. "I had thought… but he returned quickly enough, he probably…" Soun eyed Barry thoughtfully. "He was around here Monday, wasn't he?"
"Only long enough to see my newest move," Barry said grinning. "Then he decided that Fuji was a much better choice of venue."
"So that's why he's sneaking in the back door. Saotome, you coward! I thought I…" Soun saw Genma inch backward out of the kitchen and around the corner, obviously more concerned by what he found in there than anything his friend might say or do. He turned and almost ran into Soun. His face was more strained than it had been with that huge ki-ball chasing him.
"Genma," Soun barked. "What's wrong?"
"Akane… kitchen… must get away!" Genma's voice was redolent with terror.
Barry stifled a grin as the three all went still with dread. Kasumi's hand trailed up to her mouth. "She's in my kitchen ...alone?" Akane's oldest sister whispered.
"Relax, 'Sumi. She's been practicin'. I haven't heard any the usual screamin' or 'kill the cuttin'-board practice'. I can't guarantee that she's gotten all the proportions or ingredients right, but ya know she's been gettin' better in that department."
"Still," ventured Ranma's father. "Perhaps it would be wisest if the rest of us went out for dinner." He suddenly noticed Nodoka and froze.
"I don't think that's necessary," an icy voice came from the kitchen. "I accidentally made enough for everybody." Akane stood there, hands on hips, a wooden spoon in one hand and an aggravated expression clouding her face.
"Akane, doesn't stir-fry need to be watched rather closely?" suggested Barry with a bit of irritation in his voice. She darted back into the kitchen. He turned back to the others.
"That solves the quantity problem. Tell ya what. I taste. If I keel over, ya can go out for dinner. If it's edible, ya stay and ya offer her some deserved compliments." His eyes narrowed. "Deal?"
Kasumi brightened with his words and the fact that Nodoka seemed unconcerned. "Provided you help clean the kitchen, Ranma, certainly," she offered, sweeping in to sit with expectation at the table. The fathers, with simultaneous looks of despair, joined her.
Barry set the table, refusing Kasumi's offer to help, intending to make her feel like a guest, for a change. He could tell that Genma's mouth was getting dry, so he slid into the kitchen to get more tea and saw Akane furiously tossing the stir-fry around the shallow cook pan, her shoulders tense and her stance like she was about to fight. He sighed. Now that her family was home, she was trying too hard again.
He sang softly words from a popular tune he had come to like: "What are you doing? What are you looking for? Are they the same thing?"
As he had hoped, the song was less startling than words, catching her attention and bringing her back to focus. "Relax! They're out there waiting. Don't overcook it." He held up the pot of tea and added, "On and moving, or off the flame, tomboy." She jerked it away from the burner.
"I just want it to be…"
"Heh! I used to have trouble that way with tests in school. I'd try so hard, I'd drive the information I studied right out of my mind. It's not the end of the world, Akane. If it's edible, and I trust ya enough that I know it should be that at least, they'll be happy. We'll let you earn yer black belt in cooking in easy stages."
Akane sighed. "I'll never…"
"Never say never," Barry told her. "Never give up; never say 'this is the end'. It's always a new beginning or a new path. Mistakes eliminate bad choices," he chuckled, "provided we survive them."
Akane cringed and looked at the food in the pan. "You think I…"
"If I thought it was lethal, I wouldn't do this." Lifting the wooden spoon from the counter, he flipped a mouthful of her concoction into his mouth. For Akane, time seemed to slow down. He chewed first one side then the other, a faint frown creasing his brow. He swallowed. He stood there still looking distant.
"Is it bad?" she asked in a tiny voice.
"It's not Kasumi; but it's on par with my wife's," he whispered. "It'll pass."
Akane suddenly beamed, then swung into despair, then smiled again, if sadly. Barry sighed. You didn't need to be a mind reader to understand what she was thinking. "Go out and make your family proud, Akane. You can freak out Ranma when he gets back."
She straightened and nodded. Barry left the kitchen ahead of her with the tea. Akane moved out more confidently, face calm for the moment. The mask slipped a little at the open fear on Genma's face and her father's sudden nervous smile. Steeling herself, she began to serve, noticing that Kasumi and Nodoka at least seemed unconcerned. Barry politely poured the tea.
Then they sat down. Akane looked at everyone else at the table. They were watching the pigtailed martial artist, who deliberately hesitated, fiddled as if delaying the inevitable and then dug in at full Ranma speed. Genma paled.
"Son, have a care…"
"Ith fi', Pops! Tlide ith ina kitchthen!" he mumbled around his mouthful.
Kasumi paused, with her chopsticks in her mouth, then smiled. "Very good, Akane. You should be proud."
Soun tasted his serving and burst into tears. "Her cooking is cured! O, gods…!" He began to weep copiously. Nodoka nodded her approval to Akane and then excused herself for a moment.
"Ain'tcha gonna try yours, Pops?" Barry asked Ranma's dad as Nodoka excused herself. "By the way, glad ta see ya back in one unburned piece. It didn't catch ya then?"
Genma began to tremble, but restrained himself until his wife was safely out of hearing before suddenly bursting into tears. They stared at him astonished. "Oh I'm so sorry, son!" he blubbered. He suddenly had Barry in a headlock. "How I've abused you all these years! (Sob!)"
Barry struggled till he had forced Genma's arms down around his waist. "Pops! What's wrong with you?" He grunted as the man's powerful arms crushed in, cutting off his air. "PO-ops!"
"It caught me in the foothills. I thought I had lost it and sat down to rest a moment; I'm not as young as I used to be," he sobbed. "It came right through a house and caught me!"
"Oh, man!" Barry had thought that, like the ki-ribbons, once someone stopped considering it, it would fade away, the effect being largely psychosomatic in origin. Genma must have managed to talk himself into believing it would catch him, so of course it did.
"I burned! It was horrible! I was forced to remember every evil deed in my past. Every sin I ever committed or caused to happen through my stupidity, greed and sloth." He sobbed into Barry's shirt. "The dozen or so fiancées that have yet to appear weigh heavily on my soul! Natsume and Kurumi! I admit it! It's all my fault!"
"Jeez, Pops; calm down! It was fake, already," he shouted, wrenching at the arms. "It was just a big ball of static electricity that I tagged to yer ki! All it could do was shock ya a little. Ya were creepin' me out, sneakin' around with that video camera…"
"…really did read that page in the neko…" Genma stopped wailing and looked up into the face of Ranma. "It was fake?"
"Ya really are too easy, Pops."
"It was just a ball of… RRAANNMMAA!"
"Aw, shit!" Barry felt Genma's arms tighten, and powered up and over the table. There was no way he was going to let Genma's tantrum ruin Akane's dinner. They rolled out the door, across the yard and into the rebuilt koi pond. "Pops! Watch it! We just got this fixed," screeched the higher pitched girl-type voice.
The Tendos ate their meal in relative peace, if you can call front row seats at a battle between a redhead girl and a panda peaceful. It was standard fare at the Tendo's; and to Soun, Ranma seemed to be keeping Genma away from the more fragile plantings. Interesting… He had always known Genma was imaginative. Apparently, it worked to his disadvantage this time, causing him to believe he had undergone some sort of conversion, confessing all those misdeeds. So, there were at least a dozen more girls who might or might not try to become Ranma's fiancée; that was about what he had expected. Natsume and Kurumi, the two girls who had claimed to be his own daughters and challenged Akane for the dojo... Now, that was interesting! How could they be Genma's fault? The only way they could be Genma's fault was if...? Wait a minute! The missing martial artist father...? Genma!
"Ranma, son! Let me help you, boy!" Soun charged out into the garden, leaving a boggling Akane and a calm Kasumi to finish their meal. Akane began to bang her head on the tabletop.
"Now, now, Akane-chan. It is very good," Kasumi said cheerfully. "I'm proud of you. Uncle Saotome is simply missing out on a treat. I knew you could do it, Akane." Akane stared at her older sister. "And won't Auntie Nodoka be surprised to learn she has two new daughters to train!"
Suddenly, Akane got the most horrible, nasty, evil grin. For Genma, it was truly going to be payback time!
Kasumi edged nervously away from her leering sister. Akane and Ranma had both been acting so strange lately. Perhaps the strain of the past two years was catching up with them. It would be a shame after all they'd been through.
Nodoka returned and looked disapprovingly at the squabble in the garden.
Akane recovered, glanced at Nodoka and smiled cheerfully at Kasumi. "Thank you, oneechan. That's a wonderful idea." She walked to the open shoji and leaned out.
"Ranma! Why don't you come and tell Auntie Nodoka about your 'Spiritual Annihilator' technique? I'm sure she'll find it interesting."
The fight froze into a tableau. Barry blinked at her. He had caught Genma's reference, but Ranma would hardly want those two maniacs back, honor or not! Soun grinned as evilly as Akane had. It was plain at that moment, had Akane been dipped in the pool of the drowned man, who she would resemble. Genma, evident even through the fur, went white as a sheet and fainted. Barry rose to her feet and considered the comatose panda.
"Sorry, Mr. Tendo; I'll understand if ya want us..."
"No, no, boy!" Soun actually laughed. "It's only what you'd expect from Genma. It's always a joy when one of his deeds comes back to haunt him." Soun glanced at the redhead. "With the exception of the fiancée mess, of course." He looked back at Genma and sighed happily. "I can't entirely blame him, really. Happosai was a terrible influence."
"Mom's gonna have to know, though," sighed Barry quietly to Soun. He'd hate to think of what his own mother would have thought had his father done something like this. Of course his mother wasn't a Genji fan like Nodoka was.
"This is on Genma's head, Ranma," Soun decided, quietly. "It's only fair that he tell his wife of his responsibilities."
)Oh, thank you, Tendo, thank you!( Genma-panda was suddenly conscious and kissing Soun's feet while waving one of his signs. The latter stumbled back and looked annoyed. Panda slobber, and his feet were still sore.
"I should have known you were faking it, you reprobate!" A strong delicate fist suddenly grabbed the grinning panda and Genma went eye to eye with Barry. "Ya did it again, old man. Ya coulda cleared this up back when they showed up, but ya had ta put us all through that whole mess." Barry's quiet voice was filled with disgust for Genma. "You listen to me real good. Ya'd better look real hard for yer sense o' honor. Ya better make amends. I'd hate ta have ta disown my own father and leave him out in the cold in his old age... or worse." Genma was suddenly dealing with the expression on his son's face that already cowed Happosai.
)You wouldn't...( The sign swiveled up, only to be shredded by the subtle claws of the Nekoken. The remains fluttered to the ground.
"I ain't talkin' seppuku, neither. Maybe ya can't fix everything, but I would like to have a father I can admire, not just honor." With a heave, Barry set the panda on his feet. "Now get to the bath and change back. I expect ya to be at that table with Mom in five minutes, as a human, and enjoying the meal Akane fixed."
Genma-panda shivered, looked back at the table, his wife and Akane and shivered again. Disconsolately, he shuffled off to the bath.
"Well... I guess I better get cleaned up and changed, too." Barry looked down at her body and the wet, muddy clothes. She looked up at Akane and sighed. That girl's face was unreadable. "Sorry, Akane." The redhead also shuffled around to the dojo entrance to the bathroom.
Dinner was finally eaten, though not without further surprises.
Journal: Ranma's Guest/ Thursday, 12 September 1991-amended.
Well, Ranma, it seems you have half-sisters. Apparently my ki-ball caught up with your dad, and in typical Genma cussedness, he decided that the only reason he survived was through a conversion. I almost wish I hadn't told him the truth. He blurted out some stuff. You still have some extra fiancées wandering around, and those two girls, who claimed to be Soun's daughters, are actually your dad's. I really don't know what to think of that, myself, and am sure you are only going to experience more hell because of it. Somehow though, I think your mother would be up to the new challenge of civilizing those two. After the initial fratching (Sorry, English and slang at that, but I can't think of a better word) I think they'll love your mom and may try to steal her from you. Akane did a great job with a stir-fry, though I did have to remind her to stay un-distracted.
Soun's trip up Mt. Fuji was not uneventful. You… we are not the only ones to get caught in these messes. First, they had to deal with the park rangers in the preserve. These people are always looking out for people who try to steal things from the mountain and the group Kasumi and Tendo encountered was carrying clubs. If you believe Papa Tendo, big clubs! Then Taro blundered by raising havoc chasing Happosai, though Soun didn't see him. That dispersed the rangers, who thoughtfully decided that fighting monsters wasn't in their job description. When Soun placed the stone back where it belonged, a kami appeared. The kami was smacking Soun around for taking the stone in the first place, but desisted when Kasumi asked him not to. According to oneechan, the kami first wanted something from her (You can guess what!), but said something about her being under the protection of a greater spirit. It was going to beat up Soun some more, but desisted when Kasumi physically stepped in the way. It, of course, vowed revenge if Tendo or any of his blood wandered its way again. If it was me, personally, I'd do something about this now. No need for your grandkids to get zapped by a grumpy leprechaun because of something Soun did.
Anyway, the park police, now that Taro was gone, caught up with them and threatened to beat Soun for stealing; until Kasumi bawled them out for being so mean. She admitted that her father might have been wild in his youth, but assured them that he was an upstanding citizen of Nerima now, and would never consider stealing anything from the mountain. They were properly chastened, you can imagine. A ferocious Kasumi may not be dangerous to the body, but the soul shrivels under her disapproval.
Akane beat me in sparring by the way, fair and square this time, not because I was trying to not hurt her.
The gang showed up then, (notice they came after dinner?) and though the family's back, stuck around for the ki training. Mousse is quite promising. He finally figured out what I meant about the ki ribbons. I'm trying to get Ryoga to stop using depression as a source for his ki techniques. It's powerful, but the more we read about how emotions and projected techniques are related, the more I worry.
I've started Akane on ping-pong-ing her ki attack, altering the signature to attract or repel the blast. Note in point: As we found out at the lake, we normally repel the ki blast from us. It can be dodged. If we align the ki signature of the blast to the target, the target will be hit, provided the target does not take the blast out of our control and send it back at us. Like the ribbon, once you start aligning it to someone else's ki they share its control. If they expect it to hit, or cling or whatever, it will. If they decide it shouldn't, you can be on the receiving end of a very dangerous backlash, so watch it!
Akane seems to have reached a plateau in her regular training. It's probably due to my inability to really teach her the Art the way you could. Her ki techniques are still expanding, though. Please, please, PLEASE, be nice to her and listen if she needs to get you up to speed on some of these things. I don't know whether things I learn will transfer, but ki techniques continue to improve for both of us.
We will get you back.