A/N: Gomenasai for the long wait, my faithful readers!! I got lazy and then my computer got a virus… and then I got lazy again. gets on her knees and buries her face in her hands I'm sorry!!
"Be careful… Watch his head."
THUNK
"Wufei!" Quatre whispered loudly.
Ignoring Mr. Winner's finger pointing, Wufei shuffled out of the bathroom with Trowa's limp upper half. "Relax. He unconscious; he didn't feel anything." He slid his hands under Trowa's armpits and raised him higher off the floor. His back was a little wet from lying in the bathtub. "Where to?"
Quatre held back a sigh and thought for a moment. "Downstairs, if possible." He lifted Trowa's legs and held them each against his waist. Trowa's body swayed back and forth between Quatre and Wufei.
"Why not leave Barton in his room?" Wufei protested. He wasn't feeling lazy or anything, but carting a body like Trowa's down a long flight of narrow stairs… it was absurd.
"But, we can't leave him alone up here."
Wufei raised an eyebrow, giving him a 'sure we can' stare.
"Look at his head," Quatre instructed.
It was a head… What was there to look at? "I don't see anything."
"Look again."
Trowa's head rested heavily against Wufei's chest, his visible eye was loosely shut, his mouth was partly open, and the wet tips of his hair were clumped together. Was this a trick question? Wufei shrugged in all honesty.
Quatre shifted his weight. "He has two enormous bumps on his head."
"…Where?" Wufei looked, tilting his head.
Quatre waddled forward, bending Trowa's body into a boomerang shape. Dropping his left leg gently to the floor, Quatre pointed to Trowa's head with his free hand. "There… and there."
Wufei studied the two bumps. One was from Trowa's fall on the slippery tile floor, and the other was from Wufei's steering error between Trowa's head and the door panel. The swelling wasn't much, so Wufei didn't see any reason to fret. "What's your point?"
Quatre's eye twitched. "We have to take care of Trowa: make sure his head injuries are minor and then treat them. Relena and Hilde may also need our assistance with the babies—er… Heero and Duo. So, it would be best if we could be available to both Trowa and the—Heero and Duo." He paused to study Wufei. He seemed to understand, but by his expression, the Chinaman wasn't looking forward to the task at hand. Quatre waited for Wufei to speak first, which took a while.
"Fine." Wufei hoisted Trowa's torso up off the ground again. His head rolled back and forth, following Wufei's pivoting movement as they straightened out in the hallway. "Start walking, I'll follow," he announced his readiness. With a smile and a nod from Quatre, the new mission was underway.
It wasn't as easy as Quatre thought. Walking backwards was simple, but walking backwards while carrying Trowa's lower half was tricky. After various stumbles and impatient vibes from Wufei, Quatre decided that minor alterations must be made. "Can we stop for a second?" Wufei curtly nodded and allowed Trowa's upper half to slink down to the floor.
After setting Trowa's lower half down on the floor, Quatre went straight to work. He pulled up and re-adjusted his pants, ran his fingers through his bangs, and rolled up his sleeves just past his wrists. Now, for Trowa… He was remained motionless and showed no signs of snapping out of his deathlike trance. Quatre turned around and backed up closer and stood between Trowa's feet. He stooped down, picking up each leg at the ankle and sandwiching himself between them, like before. Much better. Quatre peeked over his shoulder. "Thanks for waiting, Wufei. Ready to go?"
Trowa's head rested peacefully on Wufei's right foot with his legs propped up by Quatre at a 45-degree angle. No signs of awareness whatsoever.
Wufei hoisted up his half of the body while sliding his hands under Trowa's arms above his elbows. "Yes, let's go."
The two teens plodded down the hallway like a couple of pallbearers with a newly deceased. Everything was going smoothly… that is, until Quatre stopped again.
Wufei counted to ten. "What now?"
"Well," Quatre began, peeking over his shoulder. "We've come to the stairs. How should we go about this?"
"…Put one foot in front of the other, Winner."
Quatre face-faulted. "Okay." As his flush began to fade away, Quatre cleared his throat and took his first step down the stairway.
"Well done, Winner. We'll be downstairs in no time," Wufei teased.
The Arabian let out a dull 'heh heh' chuckle followed by a sigh.
The two proceeded down the flight of stairs in a rhythmic beat. Quatre took a step down, and Wufei took a step down at the same time. Their pace turned into a steady heartbeat. The staircase creaked, welcoming the arrivals, but one step didn't like the new company…
The naughty step let out a hostile snarl, roared its mightiest creak, and snapped under Quatre's foot. The blonde's heel slipped out from under him, but the naughty step wasn't done with the human…
The step changed its mood from naughty to mischievous and loosened a nail that had once held it together with the intention of catching the boy's fall. Indeed it did…
As his heel slipped, Quatre instinctively let go of Trowa's legs and held out his arms for balance. However, gravity was siding with the evil step. Quatre's body and Trowa's legs plummeted straight down for the step of doom. Trowa's legs landed on the edge of the step with a thunk, while Quatre's backside landed on the edge of the step's nail with a… lot of pain. The mansion echoed with an intense shriek and a series of Arabian curses. Poor, innocent Quatre…
Out of shock, Wufei dropped Trowa's upper half, sending the clown's heavy body steamrolling over Quatre and down the entire flight of stairs. Judging by the way Trowa's body lay tangled and motionless on the floor, it was safe to say that he was still unconscious. On that note, Wufei devoted his attention to the more alert teen.
"Are you alright?" The Chinaman gave him a look of genuine concern as he knelt by his side.
Quatre propped himself up on his scraped elbows, wincing. "I think so," he breathed through clenched teeth.
Wufei scanned his body for any injuries, but found none. "How does your back feel?"
Quatre squeezed his eyes shut. "It hurts."
"Try not to move; I'm going to carry you downstairs." The blonde nodded. Wufei coiled his arms around Quatre's shoulders and under his knees, holding him like a baby. With a hushed grunt, Wufei lifted him off the evil step.
Quatre held onto the back of Wufei's neck collar and let his other arm dangle freely. But he felt as if he forgot something. Quatre opened his eyes and looked down. "Where's Trowa?"
"He's," Wufei cautiously stepped over the evil step, "down there," he pointed with his gaze and plodded down the good creaking steps.
"…I didn't know Trowa could bend like that," Quatre voiced with a mixture of worry and humor.
Wufei smirked. "I don't think he knows that either," he said, voicing his sense of humor.
"What the heck happened?!" Hilde's footsteps echoed across the hall. She stopped abruptly in front of the tangled corpse. With a gasp, the German girl knelt down next to Trowa's body and checked for a pulse.
Relena brushed passed her and clutched the stair's handrail. "Are you two alright? We heard a loud crash!"
Wufei stopped at the base of the stairs and stiffened his knees under the extra weight in his arms. "One of the steps shattered under Winner and he fell on it. We dropped Barton and then he fell all the way down to the bottom."
"Why would you drop Trowa?" Relena barked.
"And why is he unconscious?!" Hilde joined in.
"That bathroom better be sparkling!" Relena blurted.
"…"
"Uh… The bathroom's clean," Quatre began. "We didn't mean to drop Trowa; it was an accident. And Trowa's unconscious because he fell in the bathroom."
"…"
"Boys are such klutzes," Hilde concluded with her chin turned up.
Silence. Reeeeeach… nothing. Silence. Reeeeeeeeeeach… nothing. Silence. Reee—SMACK!
"Owwww!" Duo howled and rubbed his red hand. "Whaddya do that for, Heero?!"
"You're never going to reach that jar. "
Duo crammed his hand into his mouth and narrowed eyes. Heero crossed his arms and turned his head away.
The babies pouted.
Duo gasped and yanked out his slobbery fist. "Gimme your spoon; I got an idea!"
Heero slowly turned around, raising an eyebrow.
The braided baby sighed. "…I promise I won't try to eat it this time," he reasoned in a dull tone.
"Hn." Heero extended his arm out to Duo with the spoon held loosely in his hand.
Duo hastily snatched it with glee and tittered impishly. "Thanks pal!" He set Heero's spoon down in front of him next to his own spoon.
To Heero's puzzlement, Duo untied his braid and gave his head a dramatic, sexy shake. "…What are you doing?"
Duo held up a finger with his braid's black rubber band around it in Heero's face. "Let the pro show you how it's done…" He twirled his finger, smirking the entire time. Duo grabbed his spoon and used the rubber band to tie the two spoons together at the handles. He raised the conjoined spoons up over his head like an Olympic flaming torch. "Ha ha!"
Heero blinked a couple of times.
"Now, watch this…" Duo held one end of the spoons at the very tip and reached across the table, toward the jar of baby food sitting innocently on the chair in front of him. Reeeach… tink. "I touched it!"
"Hurray," Heero cheered apathetically.
Duo stuck out his tongue with crossed eyes and continued on with his mission. Reeeeeeach… tink. "…Almost got it…" Reeeeeeeeeeach… TINK…thunk. "Ooh…"
"…You knocked it over."
"Uh-huh."
"…Now what?"
Duo grinned in a way that resembled the Grinch who stole Christmas. "You hungry?"
"I think I can walk now, Wufei."
The ex-05 pilot had his doubts, but nonetheless he complied with Quatre's request and slowly lowered his legs down—the grip around his shoulders tightened. Quatre returned the grip and used Wufei for balance. Together, they descended the final step and turned the corner.
Hilde looked up from Trowa's sprawled out body and noticed something that she didn't mean to notice. "Um… Quatre? You have a tiny hole in the back of your pants."
The pair stopped plodding. The clueless blonde peeked over his shoulder and looked down. "Oh my." A tiny flush clouded his face.
Although Relena shouldn't have looked, she lowered her gaze and gasped. "Quatre, y-you're bleeding."
The tiny flush grew. "Oh dear."
Wufei found the Arabian's predicament entertaining; while upstairs, the evil step creaked with laughter and congratulated the nail's victory piercing on the human's rear.
Reeeeeeeeeach… scoop… gulp. "Mmm…"
Reeeeeeeeeach… scoop… gulp. "Hn…"
"My turn! My turn!" Snatch.
Glare. "I wasn't done." Snatch.
Blink, blink.
Reeeeeeeeeach… scoop… snatch! … gulp.
"Mmm… Thanks, pal!"
Glare. SMACK! "Mine."
Twitch, twitch. "…Yours."
"Are you sure you don't need help?" Hilde sang and glanced at Wufei who rolled his eyes in return.
"I-I'm fine. I can take care of my… self," Quatre stuttered and painfully waddled up the stairs—carefully avoiding the evil step that growled back.
Duo's stomach growled. "Are you done yet?" He stared at the Japanese baby with big puppy eyes.
… scoop… gulp. "…"
Duo narrowed his eyelids. "Does the word 'share' mean anything to you??"
Reeeeeeeach… scoop… "…"
That did it. Duo was hungry and impatient. It was time to teach Heero a lesson in sharing. He threw his arms out to snatch the spoons, but Heero leaned back to evade his grasp. However, the tips of Duo's fingers flicked the spoons and triggered a catapult reaction, sending the goopy baby food flying through the air and splattering all over Heero's face.
The entire scene froze and everything fell silent… until Duo burst out laughing.
Relena and Hilde worked together and carried Trowa's corpse to the living room sofa. Oh yeah… and Wufei watched.
"Thanks for helping out, Chang," Hilde emphasized.
Wufei leaned against the wall and crossed his ankles. "Your welcome, Schbeiker."
Before Hilde could open her mouth to engage in a verbal fight, Ms. Peacecraft stepped between the two and changed the conversation. "So, how long has Trowa been knocked out, Wufei?" she asked politely and sweetly.
"He's been out for approximately fifteen minutes."
"Oh." Relena quickly ran out of things to say.
Wufei took the liberty of starting a new and alarming conversation. "So, how long has Yuy and Maxwell been left unsupervised, onnas?"
"OH NO!!" The onnas shouted in unison and darted out of the living room.
Wufei walked across the room and sat down on the cushy love seat next to the sofa. "Peace and quiet at last…" He laid back and closed his eyes for a much needed dose of meditation.
A/N: How long will Wufei's peace and quiet last? What will Relena and Hilde discover in the kitchen? Will Quatre be able to sit again? Will Trowa ever wake up?? Find out in the next chapter! BWAHAHAHAHA! …please review. Thank you. (I'll try not to be lazy anymore.)