Tatsuha no Tachiba

¤¤¤Information about the story¤¤¤
(Tatsuha's Situation)
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Uesugi Tatsuha/Sakuma Ryuichi
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Murakami Maki-sama.
A/N:This chapter contains some Japanese sound effects to create a more manga-ish atmosphere, and in case any of you don't recognize some of them I have included a little list at the bottom. :)

"Tatsuha-san!"

Sakuma threw himself on the younger man's back, clasping his arms around his neck and laughing childishly. Kumagoro was doing his best to cling to him, but eventually he fell to the ground with a light dosa.

Tatsuha was in heaven. He could hardly keep his face straight with the famous singer hanging on his back. Oooohh, Sakuma Ryuichi is hugging me..! he thought happily.

Ryuichi bent his head closer to Tatsuha's. "Tatsuha-kun, where are you taking me this time? Are we going to the zoo again? The zoo was fun." He got lost in daydreams about all the animals at the zoo, and the bunny suit he had been wearing to confuse the paparazzies... It would be fun to go to the zoo again. And maybe make photo stickers.

"No, I thought we'd go to Odaiba Amusement Park – how does that sound?"

Ryuichi let go of Tatsuha and began to bounce around on the sidewalk outside the N-G building. Pyon pyon pyon. "Odaiba Amusement Park! Are you for real! Wow, Tatsuha! That'll be great! Hahahaha!" The singer's clear laughter rang through the air once more, and Tatsuha savoured the sound of it.

Then he remembered something and started. "Oh, that reminds me. I got this for you." He held out a bag for the singer.

Ryuichi took it greedily and peered inside it. "Kyaaaaa! It's a new bunny suit! But this one is green, not pink like my old one! Gee, thanks Tatsuha-kun! I have to try this on!"

In two seconds flat, the Grasper singer had miraculously managed to change into his new bunny suit without showing a millimeter of himself and was trying to admire his own figure despite the lack of mirrors. Tatsuha could not take his hungry eyes off him. He is sooo hot in that masquerade costume!

"Tatsuha! Isn't it nice? Doesn't it look good on me?" Sakuma wondered exhilaratedly.

"You look awsome in it!" Tatsuha emphasized. He felt something cold and wet on his chin and quickly wiped it with the sleeve of his jacket. "Um, ready to go?"

"Hai, hai! I am readyreadyready! Yes! Let's go!" He grabbed Tatsuha's hand and started to run up the street with him – ta ta ta ta.

In what seemed like an instant (but yet an eternity of wonderful bliss to Tatsuha) they reached the amusement park and went inside. It was huge, and there was so much to do, so many attractions – the biggest being right there by his side... He loved it when they played video games at the big Arcade, and he loved it even more when they rode the rollercoaster and Ryuichi grabbed his arm.

It was the best day ever.

Until...

"What do you think you're doing, mister?" said a cold, harsh voice behind and slightly to the left of them, and they both swirled around towards it in astonishment, Tatsuha with his arm calculatingly around Sakuma's shoulders. The voice apparently belonged to that kamikaze American that worked as Bad Luck's manager – Ryuichi's former manager in New York. The expression on his tanned face seemed utterly misplaced in the sunny weather and the joyful environment.

Tatsuha swallowed hard. "Um, er... how's it hangin'? Or something..." he managed to press out of his suddenly dry mouth. The American dude was totally freaking him out with that look saying I wanna kill you, punk, scumbag of the Earth.

The Bad Luck manager's eyes narrowed threateningly. And then, in a pretty good Clint Eastwood imitation, he said, "I wanna kill you, punk, scumbag of the Earth."

Tatsuha jerked. What? How could that man have known my exact thought?

The American guy (whatever-his-name-was) tossed his head so that his long, silky blond hair danced in the still air, and withdrew a .44 from his shoulder holster. Letting his fingers slide over the slick metal surface of the weapon, he said, "You probably think I know your exact thought—"

Tatsuha gasped. Oh no! The guy is a fucking mind reader!

"—that I'm a mind reader—"

Letting out a yelping Hiiiii, Tatsuha instinctively hid behind the calm Sakuma, whom was currently trying to put print club photo stickers on Kumagoro's belly. He seemed completely unaware of the drama that was going on in his midst.

Kachan. The American had loaded his revolver and was now slowly, slowly bringing up the barrel until it pointed at Tatsuha's throat. A cold smile that said Sayonara curled his lips. "—but the thing is I just know your type. Now let go of Ryuichi and walk away slowly."

Suddenly it was as if the singer just noticed the tall American there. Beaming like a child, he held up his bear in greeting. "K! Oh, hi K! Are you here to have fun with the amusements as well? Look! Kumagoro's all dressed up for you!"

The American looked at Kumagoro suspiciously, and when he saw the many photo stickers of Tatsuha holding his arm around Ryuichi, his eyes widened with white-hit wrath. "You! You lousy stalker! Don't you have any sense in that miniature brain of yours! Walking around here, accosting poor celebrities and making them take pictures with you... You are just disgusting."

Tatsuha held up both hands in front of himself to show the scary dude that he meant no harm. "But I wasn't..."

"Begone, foul beast!"

And before Tatsuha could do or say anything else the American had directed his revolver at the ground at Tatsuha's feet and fired off two rounds. Screaming in fear and imagined pain, Tatsuha ran off as fast as he could, not daring to look back.

He needed help. He needed someone strong to help him rescue poor Ryu-chan from that horrible,horrible man! But who? Who?

Then he spotted a face he knew in the crowd. Happy and hopeful, he ran up to him. "Eiriiii! Eiriiii!"

The brother spun around at the sound of his voice, a look of utmost terror in his pale eyes. When he noticed Tatsuha elbowing his way through the crowd on his way to him he swiftly turned the other way, trying to flee the spot before Tatsuha could reach him.

But he was already there. He grabbed Eiri's sleeve. "Eiri! Bro! You gotta help me, he's got Ryuichi!"

The novelist tried to fight him off. "Leggo of me, you big pervert!" he hissed threateningly. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

Tatsuha sized him up. "Yeah? Busy with what? Whatare you doing here, of all places?"

"Nothing – I'm not here, I'm just a hallucination, now go bother someone else who's not a mirage."

Shuichi turned up at Eiri's left-hand side, a happy smile on his face and crêpes in both hands. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Yuki, but the queue was so long. Here you go." He handed the novelist his crêpe.

Tatsuha chuckled darkly. "Just a hallucination, huh? My ass. Now will you come help? I sort of have a situation..."

"Oh, do you now? Well too bad for you because I'm in the middle of my promised date with fuckface here, and if I don't spend the rest of this lousy day with him that American bastard's gonna kill my ass. You get me, Bro?"

Tatsuha took a step back. "Haaaa! You're in league with him!" he whispered, and before Eiri could grasp him and hand him over to that kamikaze he turned on his heel and ran out of there as fast as his legs could.

¤¤¤Japanese sound effects used in this story¤¤¤
dosa: thump
pyon pyon pyon: bjoing, bjoing, bjoing
kyaaaaa: Aaaaahh!
ta ta ta ta: tap tap tap tap (sound of running)
Hiiiii: terrified or surprised shriek
kachan: ka-ching
Haaaa: gaaaasp
A/N: Hehehe, okay... maybe it's not so funny yet (don't kill me!), but remember that this is escalating excitement. ;) Gaah! And thank you so, so much for all those comments and reviews! Those comments alone were enough to inspire a new chapter of this story when I thought I was fresh out of ideas. So thank you - and keep them coming, my friends! I will try my best to make up new funny, slightly embarrassing situations... :) I'll update with the third chapter as soon as I have it finished, that's a promise. /paipu-chan