Narnia: Gone Rum II
Aranel, Kalel, and Kiel
"Muhahahaha!" laughed Aslan, chasing after the White Witch on a lawn-mower.
"Shriek!" she screamed. The White Witch ran up a steep hill and hid behind a towering broad-leafed maple tree. She was gasping for breath and about to collapse from exhaustion. She grimaced, listening for the mower, and peered around the tree.
Suddenly, she was grabbed by the tree, which turned out to be a walking, talking tree, which just happened to love to eat Witches, preferably ones dressed in black, but a White Witch would do just fine. He was busy shoving her in his mouth when he remembered that he preferred to eat White Witch that has been chopped up by a lawn-mower, instead of having to eat them plain. He then set out in search of just such a lawn-mower. The tree looked far and wide for a lawn-mower, but he could not find one anywhere. Suddenly, Aslan mowed up behind him and cut him down.
"Ha, ha, ha!" he laughed evilly. "That should teach that stupid tree to get in my way! Wait a minute! What was it carrying? It looked like the White Witch. Oh well, that'll teach them! Ugly, stupid, dumpy trees and Witches too. Always thinking they're better than everyone else."
"Crash! Boom! Crash!" Aslan heard coming from the woods. The noise grew louder and soon, he saw a large, fat figure emerging from the trees. It was Edmund. He had just finished raiding the White Witch's castle, and had eaten all of the full rooms of Turkish Delight. He had stuffed himself until he grew into a fat giant. He stomped up to Aslan and said:
"I'm still hungry! Give me more food or I'll crush you like a bug!" Aslan roared:
"No! You cannot make me! And besides, you're stepping on my tail! Waaaahh! My precious!" Aslan got off of the lawn-mower and began acting like Sméagol. But, really, he was tricking Edmund. When the fat giant turned to leave, Aslan pounced on him and gobbled him up like a mouse.
"And I did it…my way!" he growled triumphantly. At that moment, Prince Rilian and Reepicheep walked up to Aslan.
"Hail, Aslan!" Rilian said. "Would you like to have a staring contest with me?"
"I would love to!" answered the lion. "I know you guys don't appear until hundreds of years later in history, but it's a crazy world. Anything can happen. So how about it?" Prince Rilian and Aslan stared at each other for at least four days and still no one had blinked. But what Aslan did not know was that while he had been thus occupied, Reepicheep had swiped his lawn-mower. The mouse had mowed all of Narnia before Aslan realized that it was gone. He was so angry that he ate Prince Rilian, who still did not blink.
"Cough!" Aslan coughed up a hairball of Prince Rilian's hair and beard. But this was small consolation to the lion. Now all of Narnia, the forests included, looked like a manicured lawn. Aslan was so furious, he approached Reepicheep and narrowed his eyes at the mouse. Instantly, Reepicheep became like a common, dumb, non-speaking mouse. And since Reepicheep was now like an ordinary mouse, Aslan felt he had no reason not to just throw him in a cage and fasten it shut. So he did. Then, he gave Reepicheep to Tash, who promptly gobbled him up.
"Caw! Caw!" crooned Tash, flying away with his excellent meal in his mouth. Aslan smiled in satisfaction and went on with his day.
Finis