Broken Glass
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Sango regarded Inuyasha with a look of distaste. Kagome had made it rather clear to Inuyasha that he'd have to ask forgiveness from all her friends. They were all highly protective of her, she'd explained with a bit of remorse, and would only give him grief unless he explained fully what he'd been thinking when he'd caused Kagome heartbreak. So far he'd gotten an understanding out of Miroku, Shippou and Rin. Miroku and Shippou had been easy; they'd understood his feelings for the most part, being as how they were all guys. Rin was a bit reluctant at first but he managed to convince her without groveling too much. Now he had his biggest challenge: Sango.
He knew that Sango hated him now. At least, she acted like she hated him. Whether her extreme distaste for him was actual hatred, Inuyasha wasn't sure. He could say with utter confidence that Sango didn't trust him nor did she want him hanging around Kagome, however.
It was on this particular school day where Inuyasha had come to school early, wanting to catch Sango and speak to her since Inuyasha knew that the brunette favored coming to school early as opposed to later. He'd trotted to school instead of waiting for the bus or moving in the opposite direction towards Kagome's house in hopes of finding the temperamental girl. It appeared that luck was with him today, because as he rounded the corner, he saw Sango speaking with Kagome—who evidently had also arrived early.
Kagome's refulgent demeanor was a welcome sight—he was always happy to see the girl happy, almost as if she had a glow to her. He much preferred it to her sad eyes staring at him before shifting her gaze to the floor. He'd try to blind himself by saying she'd be better off without him, but he was soon discovering that Kagome preferred his company, even if it was only as a friend for now.
He cleared his throat when he approached the girls and lightly bowed his head towards both girls as a greeting.
"Good morning," he said quietly, his golden eyes staring at both Sango and Kagome.
Kagome beamed brightly at him and he saw a slight shade of pink graze over her cheeks. "Good morning, Inuyasha," she greeted.
Sango eyed him before quickly muttering, "Hello."
Kagome noted the tension and inwardly sighed. Sango was very important. But so was Inuyasha. She knew of Sango's distaste regarding Inuyasha and she feared that perhaps, in the end, she'd be forced to choose and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to.
She bit her lip and observed the way that Sango's light-hearted smile she'd been wearing when addressing Kagome had dimmed and her lips and pursed into a thin, tight line. Her maroon-colored eyes stared at Inuyasha in an almost accusing manner—Kagome was sure that inwardly Sango was thinking of several ways to maim Inuyasha.
"May… May I speak to you for a moment," Inuyasha questioned. Kagome was about to answer when he added, "Sango."
Kagome blinked. This was it. Kagome was aware that Inuyasha had been talking to each and everyone of her friends, making sure that they were okay with it. As far as she knew, everyone was fine. That only left Sango, who might prove to be a problem.
Sango was tightlipped and wary of Inuyasha but she relented with a sigh. "Very well."
They walked around the corner of the hallway, leaving Kagome alone for a few minutes. They mulled off to the side and Inuyasha watched two seniors walk by, engrossed in what they were talking about. His eyes followed them idly, simply because he was prolonging what he was going to do.
"You'd better not be looking at those girls," Sango's voice brought him out of his thoughts and his honey colored eyes turned back to Sango. Said girl was staring at him with her arms crossed and her weight shifted to her right foot. "What do you want?"
"I want to be with Kagome," Inuyasha stated calmly.
Sango's eyes narrowed. "And why are you talking to me about that?"
"Because," Inuyasha said calmly, feeling a sense of dread creep up his spine. "Kagome honors your opinion and you're her best friend."
"So, in other words, you want my approval?" Sango asked slowly.
Inuyasha nodded his head. "Yes."
Sango huffed. "No matter what I say she'll still want you in the end. She'll choose you."
Inuyasha's eyes softened as he saw the way Sango crossed her arms and looked miffed. He understood what was running through her head. She didn't trust him because he'd hurt Kagome so many times. At one point in his life, he would have thought Sango to be troublesome and a bit of a brat. But now, he understood the feelings that coursed through her veins. All she wanted was what was best for Kagome.
Inuyasha shook his head gently. "No," he said lightly. "That's not true."
Sango eyed him curiously, but her expression was still sour. She searched his face, looking for some kind of sign of insecurity so that she could throw it back in his face. But Inuyasha didn't let her; instead he offered her his smallest of smiles. He realized he probably looked guilty but didn't move to correct himself.
"What I mean to say is that… Kagome cares about you, Sango. Ultimately, she wouldn't be able to choose between us, you know that. She has too big of a heart to forsake the other. In the end, I believe that she would disconnect herself from both of us, no matter how much it caused us all pain. It would be fair, in the end."
He shook his head. "Sango," his words came out softly and he struggled to speak. "I love her… and I know that I hurt her." He swallowed the lump in his throat as Sango fixed him with one of her darkest looks she could muster. He pressed on, however. "And I'll do anything—anything—for you to let me be with her."
"I'm not Kagome's keeper. I can't stop you," Sango snapped. "You don't need my approval."
"But I want it," Inuyasha pressed.
Sango frowned thoughtfully and eyed him. She was silent for a long moment and Inuyasha resisted the urge to squirm under her intense gaze—instead he met her gaze full on, never once wavering.
It seemed that Sango was searching for the right words to say to him. She licked her lips and her eyebrows furrowed. She looked angry one moment and then defeated the next only to return to that same angered look. She observed him, her eyes sweeping over him, as if she could dig out all his shortcomings by simply swiping her gaze over him.
He swallowed again, it seemed that the lump in his throat was relentless and refused to dislodge itself. If Sango would only accept that he wanted Kagome, wanted to love her, then he'd forever be beholden to this woman.
For a brief moment Inuyasha could have sworn he saw Sango's eyes water, but the girl turned her head and blinked. She released a small sigh. He wished that Sango was more affable, for he found it increasingly hard to speak with her. She wasn't some benign person he passed in the halls, this girl held his possible future with Kagome. Would he be forced to remain friends with Kagome, despite the fact that his desire to take her into his arms coursed through his veins… or perhaps, would Sango allow this burning desire to surface?
The fact that Sango regarded him as a wastrel didn't help his chances, either. Probably she was imagining several ways to kill him and would happily carry them out if not for Kagome's attachment to him. In Sango's eyes, he was a good-for-nothing.
"I just want… what's best for her," Sango whispered out and it seemed that she'd been using her entire strength to say that because at that very moment she collapsed to the ground, with her head bowed. He stared at her and quickly knelt before her.
"Sango!" his voice sounded desperate even to himself. "Are you okay?"
It occurred to him that Sango was crying. He sat there awkwardly for a moment before collecting Sango into his arms. She resisted only for a moment before she pressed her eyes against his shoulder and wept.
"How is it…" Sango whispered out sorrowfully. "That you two have lost so much and are still able to love?" Inuyasha blinked at the odd question and she grasped his shirt, pulling him closer. "Why can't I love like Kagome?"
Inuyasha bit his lip. Sango was crying and confessing something to him she probably hadn't even told Kagome. He awkwardly patted her back, his eyes falling shut as he rested his back against the wall. He ignored the passing students. They didn't matter. They sunk away. Right now, Sango was his concern.
"You love Kagome," Inuyasha whispered, as if afraid raising his voice would shatter Sango. "You love her dearly, that's why this is affecting you so much. You want her to be happy, but at the same time her happiness is making you miserable. Up until now, you've had Kagome all to yourself and now because of me…"
Suddenly she pushed on him roughly. His eyes widened in confusion as he stumbled a bit and she stared at him angrily. Her hands still held up in the air, tears running down her cheeks and a frown on her face, Sango was nothing short of scary looking. He gulped.
She bit her lip and sniffled, willing her tears to stop. She lowered her head in defeat.
"She's always been alone. I selfishly thought that she'd always be with me and that I'd always have my best friend all to myself. But because of my distrust of you I've separated myself from her." Sango clenched her fabric of her baggy jeans. She worried her bottom lip and her shoulders shook. "I've lost her in a way that I can never fix. She can no longer confide in me. She has to confide in others, too."
Her fists clenched. "I've never been in love. I can't help her. Before she'd always go to me for advice… and now… now I have nothing to help her!"
She started crying again, shamefully. Inuyasha could tell that Sango tried her hardest to not cry in front of him, collapsed on the ground, with her head bowed.
"Kagome loves you, Sango," Inuyasha murmured, golden eyes staring at the crown of her head. "Kagome will always turn to you, because you've always been there for her."
Sango nodded meekly. "I just… want her to be happy."
"She is happy, at least, better than she was," Inuyasha whispered. "You've always been there for her. You've filled that hole in her heart. But now, she needs to fill the others that are there. The ones that you cannot fill because you are already in Kagome's heart."
Sango sniffled. "It would be so much easier if you were a damn jerk," Sango whimpered out and offered a watery smile. Her lips released the tiniest of laughs. "You jerk."
"Sango," Inuyasha said and hesitantly touched her shoulder in a sign of comfort. "Kagome does need you."
"I just want to protect her," Sango said.
"I know." Inuyasha smiled. "And you are. You always will. But perhaps now it's time… for Kagome to protect herself?"
Sango nodded. "She doesn't need me now. You've… made her stronger."
Inuyasha shook his head. "No, she's made herself stronger. She's just had a little help."
Sango lifted her head, fixing her tear-filled gaze on his. She stared at him for a long moment before she sighed and sat up. She stretched her arms over her head until she felt something pop before returning to her normal sitting position. She looked at Inuyasha again, with her lips pursed. All signs of tears or her despair was absent from her face.
She shrugged her shoulders and released the tiniest of sighs, again. "Whatever you say."
It became clear to Inuyasha, in that moment, that Sango was indeed the loyalist person he'd ever met. Despite her own despair and depression, she cared more than anything for Kagome's happiness, even if she didn't understand Kagome's motives.
Even though she tried to hide it, Sango had an extremely caring heart.
"Here," Kagome said quickly as she shoved a bag towards Inuyasha. He stared at it for a long moment, his lips quirked downwards thoughtfully.
"What is this?" Inuyasha questioned as he took the bag from her and stared at it curiously. Kagome shifted her feet and blushed. He opened the bag and was surprised to see that there was a lunch inside. "Lunch?"
Kagome nodded. "I noticed that… these past few weeks… you haven't really been eating during lunch… so I made you some," Kagome muttered, her blue eyes staring at his feet, which—she remarked silently to herself—were actually quite large. She cleared her throat. "I thought that you'd appreciate a lunch again, ya know?"
Inuyasha closed the bag and stuffed it into his knapsack. Turning to look at Kagome he smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that."
Kagome beamed and lifted her head to look at him. "Good," she chirped happily and went back to math homework.
They were currently in math class, their second period, freezing cold in the portable their class was run in. Despite the days growing warmer, the early mornings were bitter and chilly, thus leaving the portable an almost unbearable cold in the morning and an equally as unbearable hot in the afternoon.
Kagome scribbled down simple algebra problems after figuring out the slope of her graph and soon completed her ten problem homework assignment. Inuyasha sighed and rested his head on his hand as he tapped his pencil against his graph paper, disinterested in what the problems were supposed to be teaching him.
After his conversation with Sango yesterday, Inuyasha had lightened up a bit around Kagome. But only a little. Despite the groundbreaking they'd done, Sango had never given him her approval. He would not make a move until she did. Kagome didn't seem to care nor mind what he'd done anymore, at least. Sure, at the beginning he could tell she was hurt, and he knew she'd felt awkward around her father's grave when she'd run into him, but now it seemed as if it had all rolled off her back. That's what surprised him so much about Kagome. Her ability to forgive.
It almost seemed surreal how forgiving the girl was. She'd forgiven Naraku for what he'd done to her—and was even sad he was gone. She'd forgiven Inuyasha himself countless times—far more than he deserved.
"You should try and finish that before class ends," Kagome prompted gently towards his math book, where the assignment's questions were typed on. Inuyasha sighed. "I know it's tedious, but you'll be happy for the free time when you get home, hm?"
"I guess so," Inuyasha muttered and sighed again, continuing to tap his pencil against the graph paper. Brian, one of Kagome's bullies, lifted his head and glared at Inuyasha, silently telling him to stop it. Inuyasha calmly met Brian's eyes and smirked before returning his attention back to Kagome. "But, it's stupid."
Kagome giggled and nodded her head. "Yeah, it is."
'At least she agrees,' Inuyasha thought bitterly to himself. He didn't protest again and started working. He didn't want Kagome to feel any pressure about him. She'd already undergone so much ever since he'd met her.
'And to think,' Inuyasha thought snidely to himself. 'The only reason I started helping her like I did is because I felt guilty about what I'd done to her. Sheesh. Had she been anyone else, I would have paid for the repairs for her glasses and been on my way.'
The thought caused him to pause in his math homework and stare at Kagome out of the corner of his eye. It was true. He'd felt guilty about all he'd done to her, even if she didn't know it was him who'd done it all to her. He'd wanted to try and relieve that guilt. In his own mind's eye, he felt that helping Kagome now would atone for all he'd done.
He snorted bitterly. 'If it weren't for all those damn mistakes in my life, I wouldn't know Kagome.'
He pondered over his reflection, any thoughts of completing his math homework gone from his mind.
"I'll see you later," Inuyasha called and waved to Kagome as she slipped into her third period Creative Writing class. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, turned on his heels and stalked towards the science wing, where he would be taking his chemistry class with Mr. Weber.
He sighed as he entered the classroom and clunked down into his seat. The class was divided into two sections, with black tables instead of desks. "That way," Mr. Weber had said on the first day of the second term, "You can sit next to your lab partner." There were four rows of two desks on each side.
Inuyasha plopped down into his second row seat against the wall. He loved being against the wall, he could easily lean against it while they were copying down notes. Today, it seemed, they'd be watching a movie. Whenever they have a sub, the teacher assigns the substitute to put in a video for them to watch. Today's video consisted of the chemicals in the human body. Inuyasha's wasn't interested—he didn't bother filling out the assigned worksheet they got with every movie they watched. In fact, he could care less about the questions on his worksheet much less the actual video.
The lights clicked off after attendance, giving the students a better view of the television that hung in the far left hand corner of the classroom. Only a couple watched. Others chatted with friends or worked on homework from other classes. When the sub exited the room for a moment to talk with another teacher, the students stood and ran to their friends at a different table. Inuyasha's partner, a slightly slow girl named Kelsey, stood and ran over to her friends on the other side of the room where they proceeded to chat up the place.
He sighed and rested his head against the wall, preparing for an hour-long nap when he heard someone plop down next to him. He cracked open a golden eye and was only slightly surprised to see Sango sitting there with a rather grumpy expression on her face.
"Yo," Inuyasha greeted. Sango nodded.
They sat in silence for a long moment. It seemed that words didn't need to be conveyed between the two. It was obvious that Sango was slightly uncomfortable, but Inuyasha gave her time.
Truth be told, Sango had been thinking a lot since yesterday morning. Inuyasha had comforted her and helped her realize things. She loved Kagome. Kagome had been her best friend for years. It was only natural that she became jealous when Kagome's wings spread.
But at the same time, Sango was happy for Kagome. She didn't want the girl to be isolated and rely on only Sango for so long. Kagome was a fragile girl, but after Inuyasha appeared in her life, Sango had seen Kagome steadily growing stronger. It made her proud, if not the least bit scared, too. Kagome had always relied on her, and now it seemed as if Kagome only relied on herself.
Sango felt a little useless, as stupid as that was of her to think. She wanted Kagome to be happy, but she couldn't fight the feeling that Inuyasha was bad news. She sighed lightly and scratched her head. At the same time part of her mind was saying Inuyasha was bad, a more reasonable part of her mind was telling her that she was jealous and, in fact, Inuyasha was very good for Kagome.
Inuyasha, like all humans, made a mistake. A couple of mistakes, actually. But he was trying his hardest to fix it and, like a responsible adult, he was taking responsibility for what he'd done. He was indeed mature for his age, in some ways.
But it all came down to the same thing: She wanted Kagome to be happy. And if she was happy with Inuyasha, so be it.
"How are you feeling?" Inuyasha's genuine concern filtered through Sango's thoughts. It took her a moment to realize he was speaking to her and when she turned to look at him he was smiling pleasantly. She was a bit unnerved by the smile, but didn't comment.
"Better," Sango muttered. She hated confiding in others. As far as she was concerned, her problems were trivial and petty compared to Inuyasha and Kagome. He didn't need to concern himself with her problems.
Inuyasha sighed. "Glad to hear it."
She could hear the undertone of disbelief in his voice. She eyed him curiously. He smiled in response.
"You're incorrigible," Sango said with a deep frown. Inuyasha looked confused. "I mean, how is it that you can smile?"
It wasn't the first time that Inuyasha had heard that question. And Kagome's plea for him to only smile when he was happy came filtering back to him. It was true that as of late Kagome was the only one who truly saw his true smile. His smile faltered the tiniest bit when he stared at Sango, but it didn't disappear.
"One learns to smile," Inuyasha said lightly. "It puts others at ease, no?"
"No," Sango snorted. "It makes us uncomfortable when the smile's unnerving."
Inuyasha laughed lightly and closed his eyes, relishing her words. Sango was one of those tough-love kind of people and didn't seem to be afraid to speak her mind, at least not with him. He liked her, despite the fact that she was still obviously distrustful of him.
She stopped paying attention to him at some point and watched the movie instead. The bell rang forty-five minutes later and the students turned in their worksheet after forcing the answers out of those who'd actually watched the movie.
The lights clicked back on and the students, used to the darkness and had temporarily become nocturnal creatures of the night, blinked and rubbed their eyes as their pupils contracted.
Sango picked herself up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder and turning to look at Inuyasha. Her arm curved, almost like a letter 'D', as she placed her clenched fist against her hip. Her other hip jutted out and she clucked her tongue at him in an almost disgusted manner. He knew better, though.
She looked down at him over the tip of her nose and he meted her gaze with a small smile. She frowned thoughtfully before her eyes twinkled and her lips curved upwards into a hesitant smile.
"You wanted my permission," she said finally after a minute of staring at one another. Her lips curved upwards towards her cheeks, revealing dimples Inuyasha hadn't noticed before. "And I grant it, not that it matters."
Inuyasha felt his heart soar and his expression reflected the joy within him.
Sango clucked her tongue again against the roof of her mouth. "Mess it up again, Romeo, and I'll kick your ass from here straight down to hell."
He didn't say something for a moment.
"Pull anything, Casanova, and I swear I'll do it. I'll kick your ass and rip you a new one," she said, determined to intimidate him. She succeeded. Sango was scary when she was passionate about something. "So say something before I change my mind and make you grovel."
Inuyasha snapped out of his revere and gave her his brightest smile. "Thank you, Sango, I appreciate it."
She waved her hand dismissively and moved towards the door. "Whatever you say, Inuyasha."
He was left with a warm glow in the pit of his stomach. He had all of Kagome's friends' permissions. He had reached a solace within himself. He figured, to himself, that despite the small amount of depression that lingered within himself… he felt that he was ready to take Kagome back. If she'd let him, of course.
He grinned at Sango's retreating back before the door slammed shut. Sango was a spunky, crazy chick sometimes, but he was glad that she had Kagome's back.
In the end, it was Kagome that connected them.
Lunchtime rolled around, as it often tends to do as the day progresses, and Inuyasha sat down with Kagome willingly at his side. Instead of opting for the hallway, watching stray students pass by, the two opted to sit outside. Despite the small amount of cold that clipped the air, the sun beating down on the two was a welcoming sign of the inevitable spring.
Due to the fact that he was, yet again, the main stir in the rumor mill, Inuyasha embraced his new label as the social pariah and accepted it with stride. Kagome was shocked at his ability to let such words of disapproval and bitter looks simply roll off his back as if they were simple everyday greetings. His fellow classmates fixed him with despicable looks. The insults and jeers, according to Inuyasha, were so frequent now that he rarely let it faze him. He was far too used to their looks.
Nevertheless, Kagome did see him shoot anyone who dared scoff at her dark looks that quickly made their eyes avert elsewhere. Whether Inuyasha was aware of her awareness, Kagome wasn't sure, but the fact that he was doing so was accepted graciously.
"There's no danger here," Kagome murmured when someone lurking in the shadows of the school dared to throw an apple core onto their table, undeniably meant to hit one of them squarely in the jaw. Inuyasha had looked like he was on the verge of going and knocking several heads together. "They're fools."
The fact that this was true really didn't comfort Inuyasha. Simply sitting here with him, even as a friend, was enough to sabotage any chances Kagome had at being spared the teasing and taunts. When Inuyasha conveyed this thought to Kagome, she merely shook her head.
"This is my choice, Inuyasha," she muttered and dipped her head, taking a bite out of her cheese sandwich. Inuyasha didn't look convinced. "Besides, even without you I was the butt of many jokes."
That, too, didn't do much to comfort Inuyasha's frazzled nerves. But he let it go, for her sake. There was no point in repeating an episode like back during Valentine's Day. He'd gotten her friends' approval and he'd waited. He wanted, more than anything, to collect Kagome into his arms again. He would do nothing—and he meant nothing—to destroy whatever chances he may still possess in regards to his status with Kagome.
If the girl knew of his intentions, she remained peacefully oblivious. Glancing at his bagged lunch and seeing that it was unopened, she beckoned for him to eat. He didn't disagree.
He opened it up and looked over the contents of the bagged lunch he'd grown so used to Kagome making—and had missed when she had not.
A ham and cheese sandwich, a peanut butter cookie, carrots and apple juice occupied the bagged lunch and eagerly extracted the sandwich before taking a large chunk out of it. He chewed thoughtfully, relishing in Kagome's delightful and delicious cooking (albeit, it was a sandwich, but it was still very scrumptious).
He took out the note that he knew was there and unfolded the paper napkin, revealing the familiar lavender marker scribbled across the napkin. It wasn't the most flowery or amazing words ever written, but the simple sentence he read there was enough to melt his heart and instill it with such hope for what could very well be a grim future that he actually felt like he was going to just jump across the table and hug her until she passed out from lack of air.
You're never alone.
Those three, simple, yet beautiful words were enough to make him feel like the luckiest man—no, person—alive. Those three, average words gave him the hope and inspiration he needed to lift his head, blink his golden eyes to clear his vision and give her that trademark, dazzling smile that neither had seen for a long while.
Seeing the familiar, gorgeous smile that pulled on her very heartstrings like an elaborate instrument on his lips caused Kagome's own mouth to spring into a relieved and delighted smile. They sat there, smiling at one another.
He wanted nothing more than to lean forward and capture her lips as a thank you. But he resisted. He'd have to wait. He didn't want to take the next step with Kagome at their school. No, he wanted it to be special for her. He wanted her to be happy.
"Thank you, Kagome," he opted to say instead of claiming her lips as his own.
"You're always welcome, Inuyasha," Kagome said pleasantly. The words had a deep impact on him, despite the fact he heard it everyday. It may have been automatic for her to say it whenever she heard 'thank you', but the impact of those words slammed into his heart. He was always welcome. Kagome always welcomed him with open arms.
He felt safe near her, despite the fact that another apple core bounced off his back. He turned around and glared quickly before returning his gaze to Kagome, who was still smiling at him.
What had he done to deserve the compassion of such an amazing woman? Nothing he could think of seemed to justify Kagome's presence in his life.
Whatever the case, he was happy she was here.
"Come on, Bubbie," Inuyasha urged with a frown as he dragged his grandmother towards the cemetery. It seemed that he was coming by a lot these days. Every time he passed through the graveyard, he felt the same depression overpower him, especially when he passed Naraku's grave. But today he had important matters to attend to.
After placing the customary bouquets of flowers at Naraku and Kagome's father's graves, Inuyasha and Bubbie moved to Zadie's grave. The grave was cleaned of stray leaves and dirt from Inuyasha's last visit, sans a couple of leaves which Inuyasha easily brushed aside.
He knelt before the grave and forced Bubbie down with some difficulty—her body creaked as she knelt and she placed her cane next to her.
He bowed his head and clasped his hands together in a small prayer. Bubbie sighed and did the same. They both sat, praying to their descended love one for a long while. Finally, their eyes opened, almost simultaneously and Inuyasha turned to Bubbie.
"Now, why is it that you and I needed to come here together?" Bubbie questioned.
"Because I have something important to tell Bubbie and I want you to hear it, too," Inuyasha said solemnly. "I realized something last night, Bubbie, while I was thinking."
Bubbie waved her hand, motioning for Inuyasha to speak.
Inuyasha smiled and turned to the grave. He wanted to address Zadie and have Bubbie hear, not the other way around. He cleared his throat and clasped his hands as he stared at his zadie's name on the grave marker.
"Zadie," Inuyasha addressed softly. "For the longest time I was tortured and angered by your inability to accept the fact that I loved Naraku and that I'm bisexual." He saw Bubbie shudder out of her the corner of his eye, and knew that the fact still seemed unpleasant to his grandmother. Inuyasha pressed on, however. "I always thought that you wanted me to be a certain way, that you hated me because of my sexual preferences. I never quite forgave you for destroying my faith in you."
Inuyasha clenched his eyes shut. "But I've been thinking a lot lately. About love and acceptance. You never really knew Kagome, but I love her. And yes, she's a girl, I'm sure you're happy to hear that." He offered a tiny smile and a hesitant chuckle. He shook his head. "But I digress. I've been thinking a lot about love and forgiving… and I decided that I wanted to forgive you for hating me."
He glanced at Bubbie, who was engrossed in his words. "But last night I got to thinking. Really thinking. About what happened between us. And I realized something very important. You never hated me. Bubbie told me so, but I didn't believe her. I thought you hated me because of it… but I know now that what you did… you did out of love for me."
He nodded his head and smiled. "It's against your religion, against your moral beliefs, and therefore you wanted to save me because you loved me. In your eyes, because of my decision to be bisexual, I was condemning myself and disgracing my heritage. You wanted to save me because you loved me, right?"
He glanced at Bubbie again and saw tears in her only eye. He felt a stab in his heart, but didn't dare stop what he was saying. "You weren't trying to deny me love because you hate me but because you wanted to save me. In your mind's eye you thought I was dooming myself. I understand that now." His voice dropped to a whisper, "You wanted to protect me, didn't you?"
He clenched his hands together. "Thank you, Zadie!"
He raised his head and stared at his grandmother. She was wiping her eye with a handkerchief. Even though he didn't really appreciate Bubbie like he had his zadie, especially since he knew that Bubbie was counting the days until he left, he felt a stab of pain shoot through him.
Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around Bubbie until she regained control of herself. He found an understanding then. Despite the fact that he, too, was counting the days until he could leave her, Inuyasha wished his grandmother all the happiness in the world.
"Bubbie…?" Inuyasha whispered. Bubbie wiped her eye and nodded, signaling that she was listening. "What were my parents like?"
Bubbie's eye widened and she sucked in her breath as she stared down at the grandson she had no blood relation to. She frowned in thought and stood.
They walked through the graveyard and towards their car. Bubbie was silent for a long moment. "Your father was charming. He was intelligent."
Inuyasha knew nothing of his parents—up until he was a preteen he'd assumed that they were dead. Learning that his mother had been a teenager when she'd gotten pregnant and on drugs had dimmed his interest in them. But now, he wanted to know. Now he yearned to know about his parents. He had no memory of them and there were no pictures around the house to spark a memory.
"He graduated from high school as one of the top in his class and went off to the university. When he was a junior in college he met your mother…" Bubbie dabbed her eyes again as stray tears dripped down her cheek. Inuyasha climbed into the driver's seat and Kaede waddled into the passenger's seat. They began driving home. "She was a good girl, too. She was top in her class as well, in all the advanced classes, joined a lot of clubs."
She sighed. "But then they fell into the world of drugs. They were strictly friends, but on a night of highs and drunken happiness…" If Inuyasha wasn't so entranced by what she was saying, Inuyasha would have sworn his grandmother was being poetic. "They became more than friends."
Inuyasha nodded, spellbound.
"A month later your mother learned she was pregnant—keep your eyes on the road Inuyasha—and they both realized that your father was indeed the father. They were in shock, and she tried her hardest to break her addiction. She didn't want you be injured, apparently. She dropped out of school and so did he."
Bubbie sighed. "We were furious with him. We blamed him for his irresponsibility. We feared he'd get in trouble. The woman wasn't even legal yet—in the eyes of the law, he had raped her. He ran away with her. But once you were born…"
Inuyasha didn't need to hear anymore. He knew what happened after that. They begged his grandparents to take him in and they refused. Ultimately, they left him on their doorstep and ran away together. When he was younger, he remembered seeing the missing signs on the window of the ice cream shop. He never thought to believe they were his parents until he discovered his parents weren't dead.
"Did you ever hear from them again?" Inuyasha asked, dying to know the answer but fearing it just the same.
Bubbie shook her head. "We never heard from them again."
Inuyasha nodded. He'd been hoping, but in the eyes of everyone around him his parents were dead. They would never return.
He accepted it. He couldn't even force himself to mourn for this fact. He didn't know his parents. He only knew what they looked like from half-hearted explanations from his grandparents. He sighed and looked out the window until Bubbie ordered him to pay attention to the road.
They reached home with any incident, and Inuyasha moved up to his room, his thoughts heavy and his heart pounding.
"Kagome?" The voice sounded urgent when the said girl picked up the phone
"Yes?" She sounded tired. She'd just gotten up and was rubbing her eyes as she pressed the phone to her ear. She yawned lightly and stared at herself in the reflection of her window. The very same window where Inuyasha had climbed through and given her her first kiss.
"You sound sleepy, did I wake you?" Inuyasha sounded worried.
"No, I've just gotten up."
"I'm sorry," he said and meant it. His ears lowered inside his beanie hat.
"It isn't your fault," her voice sounded drained.
"I couldn't sleep… are you busy today?"
"No," her yawn could be heard over the phone.
There was silence on the other end for a long moment. "Want to go out to lunch with me?"
Now there was silence on her end of the phone as she thought of what was asked. She hummed lightly and finally, despite the fact no one could see, she smiled. "Sure. I'd love to."
"I'll pick you up, then?"
"You can just come over and I can make us some lunch, is that okay?" Kagome questioned.
"Sounds great. I'll be over soon," Inuyasha bubbled. Kagome giggled despite herself.
"I'll see you then, Inuyasha." She hung up the phone after she said her goodbyes to her friend.
Saying that he was her friend, however, caused an ache in her heart. She pushed it away.
Sure enough, it was only about an hour before Inuyasha showed up on her doorstep. She smiled at him and pushed the door open, taking his jacket and the proffered lilies. He remembered they were her favorite flowers. She giggled as she inhaled their sweet scent and the small flowers of the baby's breath tickled her nose.
She looked up at him and beamed. "Thank you, they're beautiful."
He nodded and toed off his shoes before following after her. His golden eyes watched her back. Kagome grabbed a vase and filled it with water. She placed the bouquet within and placed the container complete with flowers on the center of the kitchen table. She turned to Inuyasha with a smile.
"I'm glad you like them," he said uneasily.
Her smile never faltered. "They're lovely. Come on to the living room."
They retreated to the living room where he sat down on the couch. Kagome scurried around, opening curtains to let the light in—despite the clouds that covered the sky—and cleaning up the mess she'd left while folding laundry. She piled the clothes into the basket before darting away to deliver the pile of clothes to each respected owner.
She returned a short moment later with an apron on. "What do you want for lunch?"
He found the apron slightly comical and smiled up at her. "Planning something elaborate?"
"I'm in the mood to cook," Kagome chirped.
"Need any help?" Inuyasha questioned and stood up, once again towering over Kagome. She giggled and shook her head.
"You can watch if you'd like. If I need help I'll tell you," she said happily as she retreated to the kitchen, Inuyasha at her heels. He leaned against the counter as Kagome prepared their lunch. It was indeed elaborate. She worked hard and soon the kitchen was filled with delicious smells.
Grandpa even awoke from his long sleep and wobbled into the kitchen, guided by the smells of Kagome's cooking. She batted him aside with one of her delighted laughs whenever he sent her what could only be described as an old man's pout. Inuyasha watched with a smile on his face, a bit wistful for the display.
Kagome's grandfather loved her, he could tell just by watching them. He felt a pang of remorse. He missed his own grandfather. But he didn't let it overtake him. He was happy that Kagome could enjoy a lighthearted squabble in the kitchen with her gramps.
Kagome's grandfather finally spotted Inuyasha towards the back of the kitchen and fixed him with a disinterested look. "Oh, you're here."
Inuyasha shrugged, looking a little uneasy. "Kagome invited me over for lunch."
"I can see that," Gramps said with a small snort. Kagome fixed him with a glare that she was only capable of sending her grandfather without getting flustered.
"Be nice," she warned and brandished her wooden spoon she was using to stir vegetables in a pan. Grandpa sent another small pout her way but she pointedly ignored it in favor of working on her food.
After they'd eaten all the vegetable stir fry Kagome had made, complete with brown rice, Kagome led Inuyasha to the small balcony just outside her living room. She smiled and pointed out the small glimmer of the lake just beyond the groove of trees that separated her apartment complex from Pine Lake Park. Inuyasha frowned thoughtfully, remembering trampling through the foliage in his attempts to get away from Naraku at that time…
He closed his eyes and inhaled the air. It was cloudy and was threatening rain. The breeze blew and sent a small shiver down his spine. He opened his eyes and turned to Kagome, she must have realized what he was thinking about because she had a rather guilty expression on her face.
He touched her shoulder and pulled her close. He felt her shiver.
"If you're cold I'll keep you warm."
She nodded her head and rested against his chest, her arm wrapping around his waist. They stood there, overlooking the scenery with a serene calm. He blew a small breath of air from his lips and closed his eyes.
"I just feel… that I should be letting him go but at the same time I don't want to forget him," Inuyasha confessed.
He felt Kagome nod. "I felt the same way with my dad. But you have to think about the fact that Naraku wouldn't want you to be sad, would he?"
Inuyasha thought of Naraku and he shook his head. He squeezed her close and inhaled the sweet scent of her hair, relishing the fact that she was there.
"I'm almost afraid to feel or say anything. I feel like I'm heading towards something dangerous… I don't know, that's not how to describe it. I just feel like I'm drifting with no anchor." Inuyasha frowned at the poetic nature of his words, even if he had no meant it.
"I'll be your safety," Kagome said seriously and he looked down at her. She looked back up at him seriously, her lips quirked downwards in a determined frown.
His lips curved upwards and hers soon followed suit. "Thanks, Kagome."
His hand drifted down her back and gripped her hip. Very slowly, he turned her just as rain drops splattered against the top of their heads. He lifted his head and allowed the rain to pelt against the soft skin of his face. He closed his eyes and let the liquid roll down him soothingly. In a way, it seemed as if he was washing away his slate.
Kagome watched him for a long moment as he became lost in his thoughts, though his hand still lingered on her lip. She placed her hand over his.
He opened his eyes and looked down at her, his lips curving into a hesitant smile. "Kagome…"
"Yes, Inuyasha?" Kagome murmured and had barely any time to register the fact that he was leaning down and his lips were covering hers. She smiled against his lips and her hands came up to cup his cheeks, cradling his head.
He melted into her kiss. They stood out there on her balcony, not caring if anyone could see them. Finally, he broke away and straightened, his golden eyes locking with her blue eyes.
The rain continued to fall as he whispered quietly, "I love you."
She felt tears collect in her eyes, but it was lost on Inuyasha and mistaken for more raindrops. She smiled and nodded her head, gripping his hands. "I love you, too. Always."
He seemed comforted by her words and turned to look at the cloudy horizon. He looked over the world that was his home. He'd experienced many things here… he'd undergone much tragedy here. But right now, in his arms, he held the most important person in his life.
He turned to look at her again and his eyes softened. He took a step away from her and, still holding her hand, smiled.
"Dance with me," he beckoned, just as he'd done so long ago around Valentine's Day, with the music playing. He remembered dancing with her just outside of the coffee place, his arms around her and his words comforting her into a secure seclusion. He reassured her that they'd been alone at that time, even though it seemed as if thousands of eyes had been staring at them critically.
Kagome stared at the hand that held hers before looking back up at him. He smiled again. "Dance with me."
And this time, Kagome didn't protest.
Author's notes: The next chapter shall be the last. The epilogue. I liked to thank everyone who, despite their discomfort, did not flame me for having controversial content in this story (i.e. yaoi). However, I did get one from someone named 'Ass'. At first I was upset, but then I realized they said my brain was as big as an ostrich. Which is actually a compliment, even though I know that's not what they meant. Anyways, thanks to everyone else who have been so sweet and kid to me!
Fanart:
(By Shizuki-no-ame):
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