Guest Ki: Chapter 45
Big Bad Biker Babe
"Class, I would like to introduce my sister," Mrs. Morisato said to the senior-level history class, "Urudu Kamiko. She will be teaching this history class from now on." She smiled sadly, patted her sister on the shoulder and stepped aside.
Urudu tried to smile at the class but was met with a wall of hostile glares. Word had gotten around of the change in personnel and nobody was happy about it. "Ah, ha-ha! Sorry 'bout this. Class, please call me Kamiko-sensei or Ms. Kamiko." She paled at the angry or sarcastic muttered recitals of her name. As her sister left, Urudu Kamiko gulped and tried to make the best of a very bad situation.
As Kamiko-sensei began to outline where she felt the class would go from here, Barry sat with his head in one hand. To him the vote was still out on whether to feel sorry for the woman or not. Urudu did not have her sister's ability to calm people. Quite the opposite, in fact. If the class hadn't been loyally angry with her for usurping Mrs. Morisato's place, the guys would have been drooling over her. The girls would have been furious at her for capturing their guys' attention. Somehow, even though she had changed her clothes to something more conservative and sedate, she still didn't have the air of authority an instructor needed. Pinup model came to mind.
Said pin-up model ran her hands through her platinum hair and scanned the study notes her sister left her. Early first millennia Japan; the Wa, the matriarchal societies, early tribal groups that contributed to or conflicted with the nascent Japanese culture... If only she hadn't started to obsess over Happosai! 'I've gone and done it again,' she thought. She dreaded the next telephone call at the Temple, the looks Keiichi and Sku— Sakurida would direct her way. Reciting silent mea culpa to Baradandya, she tried to fill her shoes, fully aware that, for the moment, she had no idea what those shoes were.
When that maniac hired her, one boy had been prepared to do extreme violence to the Principal. The tree-bearing idiot was a menace to civilization! Baradandya, softhearted as she was, objected to physical persuasion and Ranma released him with a look of disgust. The boy had shown some intelligence in demanding that Baradandya be permitted to continue teaching in some other capacity until she found a new position. The Fruitcake at first ignored his demands, trusting in Mrs. Morisato's request to protect him from Ranma's wrath. Fortunately, a purple-haired girl, Shampoo, came up at that point, heard what happened and strung the waistband of his cabana shorts up over his forehead before her former teacher could voice further objections. Principal Kuno suggested in a breathless, strained voice, that help was needed in Home Economics.
"I see you have already covered some of the information on the groups indigent to Yamato, Ise and Kawachi," Miss Kamiko said slowly, "and that everyone is in the middle of giving verbal reports to the class for credit." She looked at the schedule. "Ummm... I have listed Ukyo Kuonji, Daisuke Ryuochii and Akane Tendo as due to give reports today."
Barry winced as Akane smacked her forehead in disgust. She had, in the excitement of fixing Shampoo's ki problem, forgotten her report was today. It wasn't that she was unprepared; on paper, she had been ready for over a week. The non-stop assessment that had been part of the ritual last night had left her with no voice today. She couldn't 'ki-yah!' to shout down an ant.
Ukyo glanced at Akane with concern. She had teased Akane about her voice earlier in the morning and now felt incredibly guilty. Shampoo had also filled her in on the full story of what they had been doing the day before. Ukyo found the idea of someone 'infesting' Shampoo and her sisters with a demon so unsettling and downright wrong, that she was reevaluating some things about Barry. He wasn't Ranma... but maybe it wasn't his fault.
Barry quickly scribbled a note. He had an idea that might work to get Akane through the presentation. He had been monitoring her ki and had compared the signature of the enflamed tissue with her normal signature. He'd have to physically touch her throat to do it, but... As he began to pass the note, Miss Kamiko, already on edge from the animosity of the class, noticed and jumped in. "You there!" She hesitated a moment before remembering his name, "Ranma. What do you think you're doing?"
He winced then smiled half-heartedly at her. "Passing a note?" he suggested.
"Don't tell me that! You were passing a note! Oh." She seemed at a loss for a moment.
Kodachi was also frowning. Normally, the idea of Ranma passing a note to Akane would have caught her attention in a negative way, but everything was overshadowed by the loss of Mrs. Morisato as their instructor. True, she wouldn't be gone, but Kodachi had completed Home Economics long ago. She would have almost no contact with the woman. She found that to be... less than satisfactory. Her victory over Happosai that morning was a mere distraction when compared to this disaster! She hoped her guest didn't mind some ranting. She had a feeling that even with the help of her friends, she would be hard pressed not to continue to rant for some time to come.
"Would you like to share the contents of that note with the class?" Ms. Kamiko demanded.
"Ms. Kamiko, I don't think they'll understand what it's about."
"I wasn't asking, Ranma." Her face was tense in response to the challenge to her authority.
"It's gonna be taken outa context," he warned. "You won't like the results."
"Ranma!"
"But…" He sighed, rose to his feet and opened the little piece of paper. "Akane," he read, "Find some reason ta meet me in the hall. I can make you feel much better." As he finished reading, there was silence throughout the room. Akane's eyes were huge as her hand went to her throat — that had sounded — then she understood. Ukyo couldn't help herself. She started to bray in that very boyish laugh of hers as she realized what was intended and understood how it was being taken.
Shampoo reached out and snagged Kodachi before she could get into trouble. "Relax!" she whispered furiously. "Don't let hard-ass teacher get shorts in bind! Akane's throat sore from talking all yesterday. Ranma want do healing thing!" Of course, she meant 'Barry want do healing thing', but Kodachi wasn't in 'the know' yet, if ever.
Barry decided, as the rest of the class surrounded him over Ms. Kamiko's objections, that Shampoo needn't have bothered. Class was effectively over.
At the end of school, Barry gathered the martial arts gang together to explain what was happening. He frowned at Kodachi's absence and nodded to Hiroshi and Daisuke, who stood nervously to one side.
"First of all," Barry said, "we need to get our ducks all in a row."
"Ducks?" They all blinked.
"You talk about Mousse, again?" Shampoo asked.
Barry smacked his head. "Sorry. No, I mean we have to look at what happened today and understand it."
"What's to understand?" snorted Ukyo. "That blond bimbo just stole Mrs. Morisato's job."
"That 'blond bimbo' is Mrs. Morisato's older sister, Ucchan," Barry countered. "Didn't anyone listen to Mrs. Morisato? She wasn't happy with Fruitcake's decision, either."
"That's right!" Hiroshi snapped his fingers. "Mrs. Morisato said that, didn't she?" He whistled and grinned. "You should've seen the photo of Ms. Kamiko, Biker Babewas flashing around, too!" he continued with a smirk. He ducked at as several feminine frowns were directed his way.
"Did 'Biker Babe' say who she was?" asked Barry.
"No," commented Daisuke, "and I've never seen her before." His eyes widened in memory and a hand twitched toward his nose. "Then Happosai stole her 'call me Mistress' suit and wow!" Ukyo, Shampoo and Akane all twitched, sending him to join Hiroshi in a defensive crouch to avoid possible violence. Hiroshi mumbled something about impressive assets and cringed, as the Fem-squad looked his way again.
"You girls are really giving the rest of your gender a violent reputation," Barry chided in disgust. He ignored the glares that came hisway. "Face it! Teenage boys are always gonna react to nude female bodies. It's not like they helped the freak take her stuff!"
"They no look away, either! Shampoo believe in negative reinforcement!"
"Why? Never worked on Mousse, sugar."
"Ukyo!" Akane blushed.
"What are we going to do about that Kamiko woman?" asked Kodachi, slinking down the hall to join them. Barry re-explained that Urudu Kamiko had not stabbed her sister in the back. Kodachi fumed over her father's actions. "It is unfortunate that my father no longer resides at home! I would make him pay..."
"C'mon, Dachi," Barry said, touching her shoulder lightly to get her attention, "Ya can't live for revenge. It ain't good fer ya."
Kodachi deflated from her rage, and looked contrite. It was such a good act that Barry had to laugh. She was no more ready to give over retaliation against her father, than he was to give up trying to get Ranma back in his own body. She looked at him darkly, saw the knowing smile, noticed that no one else in their group had been fooled and contrived to look sorrowful. "(Sigh!) I am so misunderstood!" She even managed a tear.
"Are you coming to Nekohanten, today?" asked Shampoo, hiding her snicker. "You not visit lately. Is something wrong?"
Kodachi recovered nicely. "Just a little project of mine, Shampoo!" she said brightly. She glanced sidewise at Barry. "Something to help my friends." She smiled then and almost skipped away, leaving some very unsettled people behind her.
"I wonder what she's up to?" asked Akane. Her throat was much better. The entire history class had been hostile observers during Barry's ki-healing, an unnecessary and somewhat ridiculous set of chaperones. Kamiko-sensei's eyebrows had risen as Barry soothed Akane's swollen vocal cords. Obviously, she was as advanced in her way as her sisters. "I mean Kodachi is nicer these days, but I'm not sure I want involved in her attempts to help me."
"No different from your cooking, Akane," Shampoo grinned. The other girl smoldered for a second then let loose an elbow. Soon, they were sparring with lightning moves, totally ignored by everyone except Hiroshi and Daisuke.
"Pity about Gos's camera," Barry commented, changing the subject.
"I don't know," Hiroshi said, carefully placing Barry between him and the two sparring girls, "if he can recover the film, it'll be worth it."
"Oh?"
"You really had to have been there."
Barry's 'date' came up at that point and brightly announced her presence. Asa Ikkitomu was a slender girl with a hairstyle similar to Akane's, but parted on the side. The look she gave him made him sigh. Either she hadn't heard the Happosai bluff or didn't believe it. He glanced at the others, looked skyward and solicitously relieved the girl of her books. "So, where do we go from here?" he asked her, resigned to an afternoon of teenage boy-traps.
In the Furinkan school newspaper's darkroom, a lanky form ran large glossy prints through the developing fluid. After a moment, images began to appear. He twitched as he finished, his forehead sweating. He paid far more attention to the woman's face than to her attributes. He examined the crimson marks on her forehead with a magnifying glass and shuddered. He really needed to talk with someone. Maybe the Kamiko woman; she was the one in the photo this creature had displayed. But her temper! Wait! What had Mrs. Morisato said? Yes! Ms. Kamiko was Mrs. Morisato's sister! He could talk to Mrs. Morisato!
He looked at the two photos he developed so far and gulped. You just didn't show this kind of picture to a lady like Mrs. Morisato. It wasn't proper! Maybe Ranma could talk to her? Ranma was ridiculously brave. He'd just leave these to dry, and go find the martial artist. Ranma worked at Ucchan's around dinnertime. Gosunkugi could catch up with him there. Rats! He couldn't leave the photos here. Sayuri had a key to the room as well and would throw them out as trash, regardless of their value. Finally, he decided to bring them along with him, after they had time to dry.
Kodachi entered the Kuno mansion and almost bounced off her brother. Surprised she looked up and noticed the frown on his face. "What is wrong, Tachi?"
"This... guest of yours," he cut right to the chase. "What do you know of her, Kodachi?"
Kodachi fanned herself and considered. Was something wrong? "To tell the truth, brother, dear, I met Mara just this morning when Happosai caused her some distress and I intervened."
Tatewaki Kuno looked over his shoulder and frowned again. "Perhaps that is what I felt."
Kodachi smiled and patted him on the shoulder. It was nice that she could like her brother again. She had to admit he had improved under Dr. Hashibara's guidance and Ranma's subtler workings. "Of course, Tachi. If you need me, I'll be showing my guest around the property. Are the traps all disarmed?"
"For some time, now. Sasuke would know."
Kodachi was aware as well of the changes Ranma had made in her. At first she welcomed them because it suggested Ranma had interest in her. Later, as her perceptions became more flexible, she noted that she no longer felt the driving need to possess Ranma. She had briefly considered objecting to the changes, but realized other people approved of the new Kodachi. Her improved self-image allowed her to agree not to cheat at the martial arts tournament and to accept Ranma's dealing with her own ambush and elimination. Well, two could play the modification game. She had plans that, if they worked out, would be a wonderful surprise for them all. She called for Sasuke and, on his entrance, asked where her guest was.
"Marller Ichioni resides in the study, Mistress Kodachi," he said with a measure of grovel. Even though Kodachi and Tatewaki were much less demanding of late, the instilled reactions were still active. "Shall I provide more refreshments?"
"Please, Sasuke," Kodachi reflected on that phrase. Sasuke had received more 'please' and 'thank you' this past six weeks than in the prior six years! She glided in to find Marller reposing on a couch with a drink in hand. The woman had changed her clothes to something less... domineering. She would have to ask Sasuke where it had come from. She rather liked its style. "Good afternoon," she said, pleasantly. "I hope you have recovered from your ordeal."
The blond woman looked up from a text on organic poisons and smiled in a way that made Kodachi faintly uncomfortable. "I'm quite recovered, Ms. Kuno." She patted the volume she held. "You have an interesting library."
"Thank you," Kodachi said, recovering somewhat. "Most would find it a bit single minded, but as I am an organic chemist, it suits my needs."
"Really?" Marller looked Kodachi over carefully. She could see the weird twisting of the girl's aura, as well as the subtle changes that had occurred recently. She assessed Kodachi as a borderline psychotic who could be easily pushed over the edge once more. But unplanned destruction, no matter how satisfying, wasn't her scene. She at least needed to find who was healing this girl and her brother and damage that healing presence as much as possible, preferably in a way that brought a sense of anger and betrayal to them all. Then let them suffer and spread the poison to the people around them. Oh, yes! Life was good! To Marller, death was not in the cards. Death was too easy, too certain, too… merciful; and Marller, Demon First Class, was anything but merciful. "I have interests in that line myself. It's always so exhilarating to discover new reactions to compounds and determine the fine edge between use and abuse."
Kodachi's eyes glowed in response. "Indeed! Until recently, I've been concentrating my efforts on derivations of black roses. I have a greenhouse full of the only authentic Kuno Kurobara in the world. They have great potential as muscle relaxants and anesthetics, and the roots can derive an aphrodisiac that can arouse a stick!" She fanned herself and blushed. "Not that I need any such item, but knowledge is power."
Marller found herself smiling. "I can agree with you fully." Meanwhile she was thinking, 'Black roses? Where have I heard something about black roses?' She'd have to call her contacts soon, and either pass this delicious mess to someone else, or delay her hunt for the goddesses. She was having more and more trouble in reaching them at the Temple, and she didn't know where they went when away from home. Maybe she needed a vacation. This Kodachi chick and whoever was trying to heal her might be a nice little project to relax over. Hmmm… "You don't happen to be developing anything right now that you could show me?" As Marller spoke, she carefully put out a wave of trust to deceive Kodachi into letting down her defenses.
"Oh, I do have a project," Kodachi smiled, "but it's a secret. When I'm finished…" Kodachi's laugh took on some of its old lunacy and she clapped a hand across her mouth, embarrassed. She didn't notice the flash of anger in Marller's eyes. It was quickly hidden. The presence of a demon was calculated to fog human senses. Kodachi recovered quickly and made light conversation till Sasuke came in with a tray of food.
"Will that be all, Mistress?" he said formally.
"Yes, Sasuke, thank you," Kodachi said gracefully. "Oh, dear," she said, noticing something. "Is that a bruise? How did that happen?" Sasuke flushed. All too recently, she would never have noticed.
"I took the liberty of moving Happosai into the greenhouse, Mistress. Master Kuno objected to his presence outside the dining room and was concerned about stains on the carpet."
"How considerate! Thank you again, dear servant."
Marller smiled. Actually, she had jogged Sasuke to take that action, among others. It had been amusing to subvert the little ninja. She wasn't through tormenting Happosai yet, and Kodachi had a pet that also lived in the garden, a pet with certain… appetites.
Mr. Greenturtle, or Midorigame, was not a turtle. He also wasn't the alligator that most of the local people thought he was. He was a four and a half meter long saltwater crocodile. He crawled up on the bank of his pond and considered the weakly struggling thing hanging from the rafters. Slowly, the big reptile made its way below where Happosai hung. It watched the diminutive martial artist. It didn't much cared for the smell the singed martial artist exuded, but the twitching he did, in attempting to escape was very interesting.
Happosai became aware of the threat as the big animal raised its front off the ground and lunged. "Eeek!" Happosai twisted and dodged the first attack. His eyes bulged as he saw those jaws lining up for another go at him. With a throaty grunt, it did its best to defy gravity again and jaws suddenly rose at the inverted pervert like they were rocket-propelled. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!" screeched Happosai. The snap and grunt so close to his ears really got the blood going. "Uhhh!" He felt suddenly compressed and thrashed, thinking the monster had gotten him after all.
Midorigame hung from the grip his toothy jaws had acquired in the silken bonds of his target. Slowly he thrashed, using his ton of weight to jerk at the bundle, coincidentally putting tremendous pressure on Happosai as his actions tightened the ribbons. The croc hadn't had this much entertainment since the last time Ranma had come to visit. It went into a death roll, and it became a question of which would give first, the rope or the ceiling.
The ceiling gave way, and wood and glass crashed down on the startled reptile, which released its grip and retreated to its pool. Happosai managed to cut his bonds on the broken glass, staggered over to a hose and guzzled some cold water. Revived, he quickly escaped through the hole in the roof before anyone could investigate. "I'll be remember this, Kodachi Kuno!" he snarled to himself. "You'll regret interfering with me!"
Kodachi, Sasuke, Tatewaki and Marller arrived to survey the damage almost before the dust settled.
"Oh, dear," Sasuke whined. "It seems Happosai has escaped."
"Perhaps we had a more fortunate ending?" suggested Kodachi, pointing to the strip of her ribbon leading to the pool. "Though I will worry about Midorigame getting indigestion."
"Unfortunately not, dear sister," Tatewaki pointed to the hose. "That monster of yours is not the end fated for Happosai. Look! The hose has been turned on, but there is as yet, little water about."
"The little freak must have had an interesting time," smirked Marller. They looked at her questioningly and she pointed to the gouges in the floor. "I think your croc had a go at him. Must have been interesting being tied up that way and having those jaws snap at you." She gloated, missing Tatewaki's shudder. He personally didn't care much for his sister's pet.
"This is most annoying!" Kodachi stamped a foot. "And the day began so fortuitously!" She turned to her brother. "We must do something about Father, Tatewaki! He tried to fire that lovely instructor we have spoken of!"
"Mrs. Morisato?" Tatewaki asked.
'Morisato?' thought Marller, startled. As Kodachi ranted at her brother, a small evil gleam grew in the demon's eyes.
"Apparently, her sister had also been molested by Happosai! Something about her impressed that maniac we call our sire and he hired her on the spot! Then, he tried to fire Mrs. Morisato, but when Shampoo objected, he was forced to backpedal or face further pain!"
"Perhaps we can interest Father in politics," suggested Tatewaki. "With the way government is run, his peculiarities will hardly be noted and he will have status without much power. Hmmm." The kendoist rubbed his chin. "I will look into this." Marller wondered how she could drag out more information. She decided to wait. All things came to those who did, and if she got impatient, she could torture the information out of them.
"It is fortunate that you are much recovered, brother dear."
"Why is that?"
"Mrs. Morisato's sister is even worse than the Hinako creature in her adult form. Worse than Ranma in his female form, in fact." Kodachi wasn't above teasing her brother over his inability to deal rationally with her beloved's duality.
'Adult form? Female form?' the demon pondered, 'Several someones were shape-shifters?' "Excuse me," she interrupted. It galled her to be polite, but necessity demanded. "Alternate forms… septuagenarian super-perverts, insane parents... What is going on around here?" She cast a spell that would make her targets more amenable to explanations.
Kodachi blinked and shook her head faintly. She returned her gaze to the blonde's eyes. "How much time do you have?" she asked.
Barry wove between the tables, flinched away from a pinch and served the okonomiyaki with graceful moves. Her assailant suddenly found himself staring at an older, angrier version of the girl. This vision leaned across the counter and the young man suddenly had visions of himself marked in chalk like a side of beef. Barry rescued him on the way back. "Mom, you don't hafta do that. Besides, Tetsuo knows what I am. He only did it to annoy me, not because he hopes ta get anything out of it."
Nodoka gave the young man a last glare and froze as Barry poked the young man in the shoulder of the arm he pinched with. The arm went limp, numbed to the shoulder from a tsubo point. "Ack! Ranma!" he whinnied.
"I warned ya about doin' that, Tetsuo," Barry grinned. "I guess you'll hafta eat your 'yaki with the other hand." She fielded a tossed okonomiyaki from Ukyo and guided it before the young man. "Here ya go!"
"Ranma, please," whined Tetsuo, "I'm really clumsy with my left."
Barry hit another point and the boy yelped as feeling flooded back. "When ya gonna learn not ta pinch the girls?" she asked as he rubbed the tingles out of his arm. "They don't like it."
"But you're not a girl!"
"Since when do guys like it, Tetsuo?" asked Barry. The bell at the door tinkled. Barry turned. "Hey, Gos!" The tall lanky boy stopped dead as he saw her. He half-turned to leave, but Barry grabbed him by the arm and guided him to a table.
"I...I...I... forgot you... waitressed," Gosunkugi stuttered.
"Hey! You know it's me! So, what'll it be?"
"Ummm... a small special with extra nori?"
"Gos special, extra nori!" Barry retreated and Gosunkugi slumped, sweating. He carefully laid the envelope with the pictures on the table and wiped his hands nervously. Damn! He had forgotten that Ranma was in girl-form when at Ucchan's and he just couldn't show hentai pictures to a girl! Could he? While he dithered, his 'yaki cooked. He received it hot off the grill and dug in, his trepidation temporarily forgotten in Ukyo's cooking. The bell chimed again. Gosunkugi jumped as a hand fell on his shoulder.
"Gos-man!"
"Hey, Hikaru!"
He looked up, cursing his timidity, to see Hiroshi and Daisuke. "Uh, hi, guys," he said with little enthusiasm. He still had half his 'yaki and he poked at it. They joined him and grinned at Barry when she came over to take their orders.
"I wanna try the chicken teriyaki-yaki," Hiroshi said.
"Make mine pork," chimed in Daisuke. As Barry turned away, he reached out to pinch.
"Dai?" The redhead's voice stopped his movement. "Do you wanna try eatin' a pork 'yaki with no hands?" Dai withdrew his hand. "Good boy!"
"So did the pictures come out?" Daisuke asked, turning to a safer subject.
"Uh, ummm..." Gosunkugi replied intelligently. His finger jittered on the manila envelope beside his place. Hiroshi snatched it and flipped open the top.
Hiroshi and Daisuke stared... then threw back their heads and howled in victory. "Arrrrooooou!
(CLANG!) Ukyo stood close beside them, her mega-spat ready for further action. "Don't disturb the other customers!" she snarled at them.
"Sorry, Ukyo," Daisuke said rubbing his head.
"Yeah. Sorry," added Hiroshi, hiding the photographs under the table. They were well aware she struck lightly. They had seen Ranma launched the length of the block with a blow of the thing.
"If that's one of your crummy magazines," Ukyo added, slinging her weapon over her back, "put it away! I don't put up with smut in my place!"
"Yes, ma'am!" they chorused.
"Ummm... Kuonji-san?" asked Gosunkugi. "Why did you hit me?"
"Huh?" Ukyo looked startled. "I'm sorry! I didn't see you there, uh..." Ukyo looked blank for a moment. "Hikaru, right?"
Gosunkugi groaned and laid his sore head on the table. The marks on the head of the woman in the photograph had special significance to one versed in the dark arts. He, being only imperfectly versed in those arts, recognized them merely as the marks of a demon. It was looking, if the other two boys were correct in their identification, for Mrs. Morisato's sister. That possibly meant danger to Mrs. Morisato, as well. He recognized the need to do something. Ranma was an obvious choice. He had run-ins with strange things all the time!
Moments after Ukyo returned to her grill, Barry was back with the other okonomiyaki. "Here ya go!"
"Mmmmm!" Hiroshi allowed himself to savor the offering. "Ith goodh!"
"Hiroshi, I need to," Gos began as Ranma turned and bounced away to new customers, "talk to Ranma."
"You still got the negatives for those?" asked Daisuke of Gosunkugi.
"Uh, yeah." Gos cleared his throat and tried to get back to his point. "We have to..." Hiroshi interrupted this time. Gos frowned. Why wouldn't people pay attention to him?
"Looks like you'll get your new camera, Gos," Hiroshi said swallowing and slicing another piece of his dinner. "These things will sell!"
"Yeah! Maybe a really good camera!" Daisuke added punching him lightly in the arm.
The skinny young man flinched and wrung his hands. No one would let him get a word in! Then, the other boy's words sank in. "You really think so?"
"We called Nabiki..."
"If it's as good as we remember," Daisuke enthused. "Nabiki promised us distribution throughout a network of thirty campuses!"
"She sure knows how to find and use a market!" admitted Hiroshi. "Our profits will be higher if we have wider distribution. Even if our cut is smaller than if we try to market it ourselves."
"Hmmm," murmured three acquisitive young men.
"But..." whined Gosunkugi, remembering his concerns.
"Yeah! He's right," grumbled Hiroshi, misunderstanding him. "We've got to cut Happosai out of the picture or nobody will buy it. No one wants him in their fantasy!"
Gosunkugi laid his head down on the table again. He wondered what Ranma would do if no one ever listened to him. It was so frustrating! Barry, unaware of the cosmic irony playing only meters from her, took an order.
Finally, closing time rolled around. Gosunkugi still sat at his place, minus the manila envelope Hiroshi and Daisuke had taken with them. They would be absent from school tomorrow to let Nabiki evaluate the merchandise.
"It's time to close, young man," a melodious voice said. Gosunkugi looked up from his musings. Nodoka Saotome had just been reaching out to touch his shoulder when he noticed her. He looked at her blankly and looked around. No one else was there. "Are you all right?" When he sighed in a defeated manner, she added, "If you're looking for my son, he's at the Tendo dojo by now."
Gos slumped and sighed. "I guess I'll just have to catch up with him tomorrow."
"Is it important?" asked Nodoka. "Should I tell him when he gets home?"
Gosunkugi looked surprised. "I thought he was staying at Akane's."
"As a dutiful son, he agreed to spend some time with his mother," Nodoka answered cryptically. She cleaned off the table and patted Gosunkugi on the shoulder. "I'll let him know you're looking for him."
"Ummm... okay..."
Barry trudged onto the Furinkan grounds, rubbing some new bruises. Genma received a talking to from Nodoka about the early morning attacks and had taken it entirely the wrong way. He only listened to the part about the 'predictability' of his assaults, and reset the alarm and strung wire across the stairs to the attic bedroom. Ranma's mom tried to tell him something, but Barry was in too much of a rush to get the message. He caught up with Akane at the school gates.
Ryoga was waiting for them, looking rather more distracted than normal. Akari, who guided him here, was not much better. Actually, Akari had been looking distracted and unhappy for a while now. She... moped. He hoped Ryoga hadn't done something stupid. Of course, he might not even be aware of the change in her personality. Moping was his normal pastime.
Shampoo, Kodachi and Ukyo weren't far away, discussing homework from the sound of it and obviously waiting for the two of them to arrive. Beside them, standing with a saucy smile on her face, was Asa. It turned out that she had been one of Nabiki's lieutenants when the latter was running the Furinkan information and gambling racket.
While Asa had officially left that game behind, she still had her contacts and would have been perfectly happy if Ranma had taken advantage of her. She didn't believe the Happosai story at all and was conveniently between boyfriends. They visited an ice cream parlor. Afterwards, Barry escorted her home. Fortunately, she had not arranged for her parents to be elsewhere. They, for their part, were aware of Ranma's peculiarities, his fiancée situation and were understandably relieved when he made it clear he was not seeking further conquests. They were impressed by his quiet if blunt approach, and they all had had an interesting half-hour of conversation before he had to leave for Ucchan's.
Barry relieved Asa of her books again and turned an ear toward the four-way conversation that arose between Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi. "Why didn't you come to practice last night, Shampoo?" inquired Akane. Shampoo looked anywhere but at her. "Come on! I thought you wanted to start expanding on your new abilities?" continued the shorthaired girl irritably. The Amazon looked like she was in pain.
"I feel it wrong," she huffed, distressed. "Great-grandmother say truce hold till..." She looked sidewise at Kodachi, who blinked at her then brought out a compact to see if her makeup had a problem. Shampoo finally looked at Akane directly. "But after that, violent girl become obstacle again. Shampoo not think about that before."
Akane blinked then looked sad. "Oh, Shampoo, isn't there any other way?"
Shampoo sighed, looked up at the clock then pointed to one of the trees. "Come. We talk over there."
Barry started to follow, but Asa stepped in front of him. "Akane can tell you later, Ranma," she crooned. "You're mine till lunchtime."
Barry glared, then remembered Ryoga. "Hey! Bandana-boy!" Ryoga stared into space, his lips moving soundlessly. "Ryoga!"
The lost-boy jerked and turned with a frown. "What?"
Barry pointed to where Akane, Shampoo and company sat beneath the tree. "Could ya please go over there and find out what's goin' on?" He couched his request carefully to try to get around Ryoga's abrasive tendencies.
"Why?"
"Shampoo is talking about 'obstacles'," Barry said grimly.
"What!" Ryoga's eyes widened then he frowned. "After what you guys did?"
"Cool it, Ryoga!" growled Barry. "Don't say anything. Just listen and tell me what went on. Keep cool!" Barry allowed himself to be dragged off by Asa.
Ryoga growled to himself and started toward the tree. 'Ranma would never let a threat to Akane go unchallenged! I'll just go over there...' He stopped dead. 'Obviously,' Ryoga thought, 'I am out of the schoolyard.' Slowly he turned around, pivoting on his heel. Okay... There was a wall just ahead of him... Go over to the wall... Jump up and look in. He was relieved to see the Furinkan grounds. ' Whew!' He looked around, spotted the girls under the tree and trotted over. The girls rose as he approached. He overheard just one comment from a distraught Akane before they all turned and walked away together, Kodachi and Ukyo acting in some strange way as an honor guard for the other two.
Akane had said, "I love you, Shampoo!"
Ryoga stopped appalled. What the hell was going on?
Gosunkugi dithered around the main entrance of the school. The girls were over by the tree. Where was Ranma? He had come early and made off with two copies of the prints Hiroshi and Daisuke were preparing to make available to certain hormonally overactive males among their classmates. He jumped when he noticed the girls approaching, Ryoga trailing behind. His eyes widened at the presence of so many pretty girls, especially Akane. He glanced nervously around them, looking for Ranma.
Akane noticed Gosunkugi and his distress. She stopped and smiled sadly at him. "What's wrong, Hikaru?"
Gosunkugi nearly passed out. He stammered, gathered himself at the hint of giggles from the other girls and tried again. "A-a-akane! I n-need to talk (gulp!) to R-ranma." His hands threatened to tear the manila envelope into pieces.
"Is that something you need to give him?" she asked softly.
Gosunkugi felt as if his brain were melting. He nodded wordlessly, and didn't even notice when she took the envelope out of his hands. "I... uh... I need..."
"I'll make sure he gets it." She smiled and he burned out completely. Akane tucked the envelope in with her homework and moved on to class. Gosunkugi, zoned out, stood there staring at the spot she vacated.
Barry balanced four pencils point down on the tips of his fingers. As he gained confidence in his control, he began to juggle them, tip to tip, testing the reflexes Ranma had left him. He did this for two reasons. First, he wanted to make certain Ranma didn't suffer any loss of ability in his absence. Second, it was fun. He enjoyed gymnastics for the same reason. He doubted he could ever duplicate the control Ranma had over his body. The martial arts part frankly scared him, but there was no choice. It was what Ranma was. He waved absently to Akane and the others as they came in. Then he began to flip more pencils into the mix. Then began involving both hands. The four girls stopped and looked at one another.
"Hey, baka," Ukyo said dryly. "Practicing for the circus?"
"Or are you just showing off?" Akane added archly, "Again."
He grinned at them. "Me? Showing off?"
(Smack!) The clatter of pencils was loud on the floor.
"Baka!" murmured four voices in chorus.
Miss Hinako marched in, her arms full of papers and books. She didn't see the pencils scattered across the floor, and no one noticed her as she skipped her normal cheery "Good morning!" They did hear her reaction to discovering the pencils there.
"Whoop!" exclaimed Hinako, with feeling. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!" she decided, milliseconds later, better described the situation. She flailed expecting a nasty tailbone-jarring impact...
...which never came. She unclenched her eyelids and looked up at Kodachi and Shampoo, who bracketed her on either side, then at Akane and Ukyo who were just finishing retrieving her notes and books out of mid-air. Her papers and books were deposited neatly on the desk and she was gently returned to her feet. As she recovered her equilibrium, she noticed Ranma just beyond, his face white as a sheet. She took a couple of deep breaths and found him head inclined before her.
"Miss Hinako, the pencils were my fault. I apologize."
The swift admission of fault surprised her, but also helped her regain her humor. "Juggling again, Mr. Saotome?" He'd been warned in the past about such hi-jinks.
"Yes, ma'am," he admitted, head still low.
"There was no harm done, but there might have been, if it weren't for these girls," she reprimanded him. "Bucket duty," she added.
"Yes, ma'am."
Halfway through roll call, Gosunkugi slunk down the hall clenching his bookbag. He approached the room to see a pigtailed martial artist standing in the hallway, buckets in hand. He debated whether to talk with him.
"Hi, Gos!"
Oh? Oh, well. He nodded nervously to Ranma. "Did A-a-akane give you the envelope?" he asked.
"What envelope?"
Gosunkugi sighed and shifted. "The one with the pictures of the naked woman who's a demon."
"What?" Barry wasn't certain he had heard the boy right. "What demon?"
"The one that Happosai molested."
"Happosai molested a demon? I wouldn't put it past him, ya understand, but..." Barry thought furiously. "What does this have to do with envelopes, Akane and naked women?" Even as he said it, Hiroshi and Daisuke came to mind, and he shuddered. "Don't tell me Hi and Dai are involved in this?"
"O-o-okay, I won't tell you."
They stared silently at one another for several moments.
"Uh, let's try this again," Barry began. "You gave Akane an envelope."
"Yes."
"It has a picture of either a naked woman or a demon in it?"
"Both, actually," Gos admitted.
Barry looked at him aghast. Hiroshi, Daisuke, a picture of a demon and a naked woman? He had been around those two long enough to get a glimpse of a sample of 'tentacle sex' in one of their rags... and a sample of this was in an envelope in Akane's hands! He exhaled a long tense breath. It didn't help. "Hikaru, old boy. Do your parents have a life insurance policy on you?"
"I...I think so. Why?"
"At least somebody'll get somethin' outa this," Barry muttered. Gosunkugi went white.
"Hikaru!"
"Ahhh!"
"Aiiee!" (SPLOSH! CLANG! clatter!)
Miss Hinako looked with disfavor at the unconscious Gosunkugi and the 'girled' martial artist. "Is there something you're not telling me, Ranma?" she asked suspiciously.
"Ummm... There could be," Barry conceded. She glanced past the diminutive teacher into the classroom.
"Ranma!" Hinako was not amused. Ranma was known to consider building-destroying violence as inconsequential, and the redhead was obviously worried.
In the classroom, Akane heard Hinako yell at Gosunkugi. That reminded her of the envelope, and she slid it out of her books and looked at its innocuous blank surface. She wondered what Gosunkugi wanted to give Barry and why he had asked her to deliver it. Of course, he hadn't; but she ignored that for the moment. She started to feel along the flap of the envelope, but it was gummed shut. She missed the look of horror that crossed Barry's face in the hall.
Hinako didn't. She glanced in, but Akane had put the envelope down and was getting out her book in preparation for class. Everything seemed perfectly normal. The hair on the back of her neck prickled. "Ranma, if you don't tell me what's wrong and anything happens..."
"I might be able to head this off if you let me go in and talk to Akane right now, before she does something and gets mad at me."
"Does something?" asked Hinako. She got out a fifty-yen coin. "Like what?" she inquired fixing him with a steely glare.
Akane put her book down and glanced out the door where Hinako was discussing something with Barry. She frowned. Why was Barry looking so... It was almost like watching Ranma on a really bad day — one of hers, that is. She picked up the envelope. She looked at Barry, who froze, eyes round and mouth open. She stopped, put the envelope down and watched the terror recede. She picked it up... She put it down... This could get interesting, she decided. Had it been Ranma, she would have been annoyed, but without the personal involvement, watching Barry react to this simple action was... fun. She looked up as Hinako came back into the room after telling Barry to clean up the mess and wake Gosunkugi and make sure he got a bucket.
"Miss Tendo," the tiny ki-vampire fixed her star student with a dangerous look, "If you have any plans to damage Ranma for something he may be involved in, please do it after school and off school grounds."
"Ummm... If that's all right with you?"
"Oh, it's more than all right with me!" stated Hinako as she turned away. "What you two choose to do on your own time is your own affair." She hunted through her bag and pulled out some hard candy. "But you catch more bees with honey than vinegar," she mumbled around the sweet. "Remember that." As Akane gaped at her, Hinako called class to order and had them open their books.
"All right, Ranma!" Akane practically threw the envelope at him after English. "What's. In. The. Envelope?" She turned and glared back at Gosunkugi who promptly fainted again.
Barry fingered the envelope nervously, as other students crowded around. He scowled at them to gain some room then whispered. "To be honest, I'm not sure, Akane. Gos mentioned something about demons, Happosai and naked women. (gulp!)" He paused as her aura flickered.
"You mean I was being used to...to courier hentai pictures for you?" she screeched.
"Bravo, Akane! Just spit it out in the open why don't you?" growled Barry, irritated. "Can you imagine Gos endangering your opinion of him by doing something that stupid?" Akane looked back at the sprawled boy and looked doubtful. "Akane, calm down. You know who I am. Why would I do something like that?" Barry caught her attention again. He watched her sigh and deflate further. "Let's get poor Gos back on his feet and try to get the real story behind whatever is in here." They got up and walked back to the third party of the action. "Hmmm. Happosai... molesting demons..."
"What?" Akane frowned again. "Is this one of those..."
Barry grinned at her. "That's what I thought in the hall. But now, I'm not sure. These are photographs, if I understand him, and I don't think he'd stick around to get candid shots if something like that was really going on." He watched Akane's nose wrinkle in disgust. They each took an arm and heaved Gosunkugi back into his chair. Slowly, he came around.
"Hi, Gos!" said Barry cheerfully. "I've won us a reprieve. Now let's go over that again. Akane's promised that I'll take all the lumps for this little episode."
Gosunkugi looked from one to the other and swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing like it was spring-activated. Letting loose a shaky sigh, he began…