Guest Ki: Chapter 46

A Perfectly Rotten Day

"Ummm… Ms. Kamiko?"

Urudu Kamiko was just seating herself at the desk when the Saotome boy walked up before her, flanked by that spooky looking boy and one of his fiancées, the Tendo girl. 'He's not particularly polite by Japanese standards,' she thought, 'but… wowza, he sure is cute!' She considered what Baradandya had told her the night before and was impressed. 'Mr. Four-Fiancées'…

Of course, this wasn't actually Mr. Four Fiancées, if she understood the situation correctly. She probed at Barry Barlowe and found he was tempted by the situation he was in, but so far had used his own code of honor and his feelings for his otherworldly wife to steer clear of the worst of it. While her sister had asked her to leave the man alone, she did not specifically say it would jeopardize their work here. And now, here he was, acting nervous. Maybe his resolve was cracking, after all. Well, if he wanted to play…

"What can I do for you, Ranma?" She smiled and leaned forward a little, teasing him with the opportunity to examine her excellent cleavage. He noticed, but fixed his eyes firmly on her face.

"About yesterday," he said, lips firm. He took a deep breath for control. "More happened than just Happosai."

Urudu frowned. More had happened. She and her sister discussed some things that needed discussed and then encouraged Barry to forget about those topics. Could he have remembered, after all?

"Hiroshi, Daisuke and Gosunkugi were at the track, taking pictures and watching girls. A very striking woman was looking for you. She was showing a picture of you to them when Happosai stole her costume. Gos is a photographer and also something of an amateur sorcerer, or hougan or whatever they call it. He got a few snapshots of the woman while she was distracted. Gos tells me the marks on the woman's forehead mean something." He held out the envelope and waited until she glanced inside.

Her face tightened. She glanced up at him. "How many people have seen this?"

"Does the phrase 'teenage boys' have any meaning to you?" retorted Barry in an amused tone. Obviously it did, as she planted her face in her hand.

"Marller," Ms. Kamiko muttered. "Damn!" She stood up. "Class! Attention, please! Mr. Saotome and I will be back shortly. Please review the study note at the end of Chapter 10. Thank you." Grabbing Barry by the wrist with one hand and the envelope with the other, she strode out. He was a little surprised at the speed she could make.

"Ms. Kamiko?"

"What is it?" she snapped, obviously unsettled by the presence of the woman in the picture.

"You need to get to your sister fast?"

"Yes!"

"Hang on!" He scooped her up and leaped out the window.

"We're on the third floor!" There was no fear in her voice, more a tone of exasperation.

"Do tell!" He absorbed the impact and leaped forward, going Umisen-ken at the same time. Instead of cloth, the air's ki warped to conceal the bronze-skinned woman. Stealthed, they cruised around the corner of the building and up a set of back steps. He put her down and released the shielding technique as they came to the door of the classroom.

"My, aren't you full of surprises," she commented, straightening her clothes.

"Gos told me those are the marks of a demon," he said bluntly. "Ranma's dealt with onin before, but I have a hunch this could be more serious." He jerked his head toward the door just as it opened.

"Urudu, what's wrong?" Mrs. Morisato stood in the doorway, slightly alarmed by the sudden appearance of her sister.

"Marller!" spat Ms. Kamiko. "She's in the area. Ranma here knows what she is. We need to talk." She grabbed her sister by the arm and looked around for an empty room or office. Barry pointed to one down the hall.

"Oh, dear," his former history teacher sighed as they locked the door. At first, Barry thought the other woman was concerned about the dangers Marller represented. Her next words left him flabbergasted. "She has no idea what it's like around here, Urudu! She could get hurt!"

"Excuse me?" Barry said, for the second time in thirty-six hours. "She could get hurt? Isn't there some concern about whether she might hurt someone?"

"Of course there is," Mrs. Morisato said. "But… I guess the only way to explain Marller to you is to compare her to Mousse or Ryoga." She raised her shoulders in a doubtful shrug. "But that's not fair to Ryoga and Mousse because, while they sometimes hurt bystanders, they are not trying to hurt them."

"Ahhh… Then how is Marller like Mousse or Ryo-! Is she merely possessed? Kasumi was possessed by an onin once. We had a heck of a time with it." He looked at their faces. "Oh, boy! That isn't the case here, is it?"

"It's more like seeing an old friend do things you wish they wouldn't," Mrs. Morisato admitted. "I've known her for a long time."

Barry went still and looked from one to the other of the women. Something clicked. A whisper of an almost forgotten conversation niggled at him. He opened his mouth to say something then shut it to edit and refine just what it was he wanted to say. Finally, he croaked out, "I take it that you were not named after the three goddesses?"

"Well…" began Ms. Kamiko.

Mrs. Morisato cut her off. "Aren't you in enough trouble?" she asked. The platinum blonde gaped like a fish while her sister turned to Barry. "That's correct, Barry-san."

"You three are the one and only originals?"

"That's correct."

The goddess, Urd, snapped her jaw shut and shook her head. Barry looked from one to the other a frown on his face. It was not a hostile frown, more of a troubled one. Finally, Urd couldn't stand the suspense and muttered, "So who's in trouble, now?"

"I won't tell anyone else, Urd. At least not until I have better information about what's going on," Barry said finally.

"You mean you're not going to demand we send you back?" exclaimed Urd, her jaw dropping once more.

"You can thank your sister for that, Urd," Barry retorted. "I've developed a very high opinion of her. If she hasn't offered that possibility to me before, then I have to believe that either she can't, under orders, or can't, within her powers." He sighed pensively. "I can't believe she would allow someone to suffer unless it was necessary." He looked up and grinned wickedly. "Now if I had met you first…"

"Hey, now!" Urd said, a hurt expression appearing on her face. Then she realized she was being teased. She looked put out. But if she felt it was beneath her dignity, she was in for a rude surprise.

"…I would have known I was still dreaming. I mean, how many guys get dropped into a world where all the girls are chasing him?" Urd froze then eyed him with a 'just you wait, you…' expression. "Too bad it's a waste of time where I'm concerned. The one I want is back home." He grimaced and Beldandy shifted, sensitive to his pain. "Is there anything you're permitted to tell me since the cat is out of the bag?"

"Barry, even as… goddesses, we aren't necessarily aware of what's going on around us any more than humans are," Beldandy explained, choosing her words with care. "It was a great shock to us that you were running Ranma's body. When I found out you were here, I asked for the files on you, but there was only a case summary and personality profile. You are way outside our jurisdiction, I'm afraid."

"I don't suppose you could tell me what was in that case summary?"

Beldandy blushed and looked down. "Please don't ask. I wish I could help you, but…"

"It's all right," Barry said. To his surprise, inside he felt that was true. "You have to follow the rules. I guess that it's my task and the task of Ranma's friends to get him back." He shook himself and refocused on Urd. "Now, what can we do about this demon of yours?"

"Nothing," Urd said immediately.

"You can defend yourselves, but try not to attack her directly," Beldandy amended. "She is very powerful…"

"Uhhh…" interrupted Urd, "…more about that, Bel, but later." She fingered the envelope.

"Even though your friends are all very good martial artists and for humans, exceptionally well trained in the use of ki," the other woman continued, "it would be too dangerous. Marller is much more powerful than Nidhugg…"

'Damn right I am,' murmured a distant figure, its cape billowing dramatically about its shoulders. Blonde hair whipped in the wind. A strangely organic mechanism covered one eye and an ear. This device relayed audio and video to the figure from one of her modified spies. Marller snickered to herself. They had no idea she was around.

A tiny video camera flanked by two huge megaphone-like audio pickups replaced her spy's head, and a long whip-like antenna replaced the tail. Only its wings and claws remained to identify it. What had once been a bat had easily infiltrated the ductwork of the school and located the older goddess. True, it had temporarily lost Urd and the boy when the latter had jumped out a window, but the bat's excellent hearing had allowed her to track them down again. Now, all their plans would be revealed.

Marller studied the boy in particular. Ranma Saotome seemed to be central to the action around here, so it would be a safe bet that he was the focus the goddesses needed for whatever their plans were. She wondered how much hell he could take in his life before he cracked. Few humans could go through what it was reported he had and remain on the right side of sanity. It didn't need to be something earthshaking… Just a series of small failures leading up to one devastating one! Yes!

"You're saying, 'leave the demon-hunting to us'?" Barry asked doubtfully.

"Pretty much," Urd nodded. "If she's just moved into the neighborhood, it should take a while for her to set up a base of operations." At Barry's raised eyebrow, she added, "Demons are loners but like to have a ready supply of minions, sub-routines they can send out to sow confusion while they work in the background."

"Subroutines? Never mind! Minions I can understand." Urd and Beldandy exchanged amused glances while Barry shook his head. "Anyway, can we detect these minions?"

"I doubt it," Beldandy said. "Ordinary mortals—!"

"Excuse me!" Barry looked annoyed. "Let's just step back a moment. Just who in my crowd here fits the definition of ordinary?"

"You have a point," admitted the middle Norn.

"Let's start with me in particular."

"Let me do the honors, Bel." Urd looked smug and gave Barry a hot look. "First, Ranma, you have to be able to see a creature's spiritual presence." Her look added, 'and I can show you a piece of heaven anytime you want.'

"Okay! Next?" stated Barry just as smugly, eyes narrowing.

"Look, junior, you have to be able to do the first one before we can go on!" Urd snapped, nettled. How dare he just brush her off! Even Keiichi at least reacted!

"Like I said, Granny, 'Next'?"

Marller giggled uncontrollably as Beldandy was forced to intervene in the squabble. Ranma and Urd were apparently two egomaniacs in search of a confrontation. Almost as good as Urd and Skuld! She'd have to remember the 'Granny' taunt the next time she had a face-to-face with the oldest Norn.

"Can I zap him?"

"Urd, no! Behave yourself! And you, young man! I'm very disappointed in you!"

Barry nodded, disgusted with himself. "Sorry, Beldandy… Urd. But could you tone down the bedroom eyes?" He put his hands on his hips and managed to look sultry. "I'm not gonna be unfaithful, but it's damn distracting!" Urd, miffed and unrepentant, glared daggers.

Marller left her spy on record, while she began to hunt for mayhem to commit.

Barry and Urd returned to class, Barry sworn to preserve the goddesses' secret. They did not want the local population aware of their identities. Barry's objections were quietly but firmly over-ruled. It would serve no purpose for anyone else to know. It would only add to the burden of their purpose here. People would expect them to do god-like things and slack off, even though their own abilities were more than sufficient for the task. They were not, except in the most indirect way, involved in Ranma's problem. If they did become involved, it would be when Kamisama specifically told them to. That would be true for anyone, regardless of the problem. But even if all that were made clear to everyone, Beldandy explained, they would still be pestered by people on spiritual advice, love potions — Urd muttered sourly, here — luck charms and other totally unnecessary things.

The more Barry listened, the more he was reassured that his instincts were correct. The goddesses were more like the angels of his own Judeo-Christian background, messengers and guardians rather than independent competitors. This gave him both an odd sense of relief and a sense of unreality. Beldandy fit the traditional image perfectly. Urd gave him the willies. Skuld… Skuld was a normal teenage techno-geek, a pretty, very intelligent one, but otherwise, very normal. He wondered how much mythology he was going to have to deal with in the coming days.

As for Marller? He hoped they could steer clear of her, but doubted they'd be so lucky.

Barry's date that afternoon was Mio Saratalova. She looked at him speculatively and shuffled the set of large cards she used for her readings. He absently carried her books and chewed on his lip as they walked out of Furinkan with the gang. Akane finally had to elbow Barry's ribs before she could get his attention. "All right!" the dark-haired girl said with some of her old exasperation and suspicion, "out with it! You wouldn't let me see the picture, so it must have been pretty bad!"

"What picture?" asked Mio, who flicked one of her cards up, looked at it, then shuddered.

"The picture of a demon," Barry said darkly. "The whole game has just gotten a couple of degrees tougher." The girl nodded, gulped and went pale.

"Oh, wonderful!" Ukyo sarcastically commented. "Who do we have to thank for this? Whoa!" She suddenly made the connection. "Gosunkugi… Hiro and Dai. That strange woman Happosai was messing with…"

"You guessed it, Ukyo, " Barry nodded, "They got an honest to goodness picture of a demon. Demoness, I suppose," he sighed. "My… contacts told us specifically to avoid her. She's apparently several degrees beyond what Happi messes with. Instead of simple murder and mayhem, she's more involved in seduction, temptation and perversion." He scowled. "She is, however, quite capable of obliterating anyone who attacks her directly. Our two encounters, with lower level creatures like the gaki and that Nidhugg thing, show that ki attacks by themselves aren't very effective."

"But Ranma…" Akane glanced at Mio who reshuffled her cards and drew three. "You've beaten demons before!"

"My contacts inform me that this gal is several degrees of power beyond what normally stalks the earth. The one feels we'd have no chance at all. The other sort of agrees with her, but seems worried we might figure out something that could hurt her."

"Huh?" Shampoo, Ukyo and Ryoga boggled, but Akane seemed to understand.

"Remember? Kasumi's like that. It never mattered to her that everyone was out to kill or date Ranma, she always acts like she cares about them."

The others nodded in at least partial comprehension. Barry shook his head. If Baradandya could be believed, and he saw no reason why she shouldn't, Marller was a nice person trapped in a bad job, but determined to do it as well as inhumanly possible. Barry had no desire to try to convince them of that! They made it all the way to the gate before a figure stepped out to confront them. Barry stiffened. It was blonde and male. Not the demon. It was familiar, though.

"Ahhh… Bon jour, mademoiselles et monsignors." His hand waved gracefully as he bowed. Shampoo, Ukyo and Mio blushed while Akane looked annoyed. She knew exactly who this individual was and he still gave her the creeps. Barry frowned.

"Watcha want, Chardin?"

Picolet Chardin straightened and fixed him with an irate glare. He bowed again, a tight almost insulting gesture. "It has to my attention come," he began, "that not only have you, your debt failed to discharge; but that you, Ranma Saotome, had the dishonor to pretend to be a prospective bride to the family Chardin!"

"I admit to disgust, but not dishonor," Barry replied evenly. "Or don't you remember Madame St. Paul turning her head to avoid seeing your 'lack of elegance' at my variation of the parlay?"

"Ranma," Shampoo said carefully, "who is man?"

"Forgive my manners," Barry said, duplicating Chardin's bow and waving to those unfamiliar with the Frenchman. "This is Mio Saratalova, a practitioner of the ancient art of Tarot Reading. This is Ukyo Kuonji, owner of Ucchan's and master of Okonomiyaki-ninjitsu. This is Xian Pu, a warrior of the Joketsuzoku and heir to Ku Lon, Matriarch of the Chinese Amazons as well as, locally, the Nekohanten. And this is Ryoga Hibiki, also a martial artist of considerable skill. My friends, this is Picolet Chardin, Master of Martial Arts Dining."

"Tolerably well done," sniffed Chardin. "Insulting though your bow was."

"You noticed? Good!" Barry grinned. "But I'm too busy right now to indulge in a rematch. If you want paid…" Barry considered. One hundred thousand yen would wipe out Ranma's present savings from investments with Nabiki and what Barry had saved from Himamashi's. Still, a strict review of Ranma's code of honor did imply it was a debt that should be paid. Ranma would normally go double or nothing, though. He hated any implication that he could lose. "I suppose something can be managed."

"Eh, bien!" Chardin whipped out a wallet and extracted a piece of paper. "With interest, you now owe three hundred eighty-one thousand, four hundred seventy yen." He extended the I.O.U. as everyone else gasped.

Barry folded his arms. "Since when was interest involved in the debt?" he asked coldly. Chardin smiled and, after a moment, withdrew the slip.

"I should have known you were an honorless cur, Saotome!" he said, slipping it back inside his wallet. "Perhaps my family's lawyers should…"

"Ranma!" Akane choked. "If something like that was publicized…"

Barry nodded. He watched Chardin's eyes. Finally he spoke. "You really want a rematch, don't you?"

"En effet!"

Barry sighed. French was not a language he was competent in.

"He said, 'yes'," Mio assured him.

"Ucchan's, then… 5:00 P.M. tomorrow."

"Tres bien! This time, prepared am I for le parlay and its variations." He smiled. "Saotome, prepare to dine!"

"Mousse!" bellowed Barry, charging into the Nekohanten. "I need you to teach me Hidden Weapons."

"What?" Mousse lowered his glasses onto his nose and gaped at Barry. "Why?" came a second later.

"I gotta beat a freak who can eat an entire roast duck at a gulp in a martial arts eating contest!"

Cologne stuck her head around a corner of the kitchen and stared. "Tell me, Ranma," — there were customers, after all — "how did you manage to get involved in this?"

"Take too long to tell. Oh, and watch out for a really high-powered demon in the area. Goes by the name of Marller, appears as a blonde gaijin woman with a really odd sense of fashion. Advice from the sisters… Stay clear! She's dangerous. They said something about 'First Class, limited, commercial' …I think."

"What is she? A driver's license examiner? They can be bad, I'm sure, but…"

"You know the three we… ah… symbolized this weekend?" Cologne nodded. "She's considered to be roughly as powerful as any one of them."

Cologne visibly staggered and steadied herself against the door. "Ancestors! She could destroy the entire city!" She suddenly scowled at him. "And what, may I ask, does this have to do with eating contests or hidden weapons?"

"Don't forget half million yen," Shampoo added.

"No," growled Cologne, "certainly, let's not forget about a half million yen!" She snorted. "I. Want. Details!"

That took a while.

Shampoo and Akane took pity on Mio and led her upstairs. "Do you want us to work something out?" Akane asked.

"Maybe have new date at end of month," suggested Shampoo.

"I'll pass," Mio Saratalova smiled tightly. "I just want you to know that you folks have real trouble coming. Not the demon you're talking about, at least not directly, but that Picolet's challenge was probably just the beginning."

"Thanks for the warning," Akane said with warmth. "Have you seen anything about…?"

Mio understood but shrugged. "Like I said… nothing definite. Are you really going after a demon?"

"Too soon to tell," Shampoo said then changed the subject. "You like sailor-sensei?"

"Love them!" admitted Mio.

"You need to master Hidden Weapons techniques by when?" screeched Mousse.

"Tomorrow, at five. Sooner if possible," admitted Barry.

"Do you—? It takes—! How can you expect to—?" Mousse looked ready to have an apoplectic fit.

"Hey! I'm not worried about bringin' it back out. Just packing it away temporarily."

"That doesn't necessarily help, you know!" Mousse was exasperated. "Do you have any idea what happens if you don't unpack it? Oh, very well. Let's see what you can do."

Barry's head was buzzing as he escorted Mio to her house. Mousse's explanation and training was as much nuclear physics as it was martial arts or ki. Mio requested and got a rooftop ride. The event had become a standard ending for the Amazon Month dates.

"Sorry about the upset this evening, Mio," he apologized.

"Oh, that's all right, Ranma," she replied, holding very tight as he took a ten-meter gap with room to spare. "I think it was this that made it worthwhile anyway." She caught her breath as he leaped from two stories to run across a gap too broad to leap and then bounce back and forth between buildings to gain the next roof. "How do you do this without busting up people's roofs?" They soared into space again then hopped along a row of roughly identical rooftops. "I don't even hear your feet landing."

"Training. Careful use and conservation of ki… When I push off, I spread out the force so that I'm actually not pushing that hard against any single point. Just the opposite of using ki in a fight, really, where you focus and concentrate your ki to cause more damage." Barry leaped down to a fence and hurtled along the top rail till he came to Mio's yard.

He stopped in very briefly — Mio had cats and he had appearances to maintain — then headed for Ucchan's. For some time now, he had felt watched, and he was glad Mio would be out of the way if something happened. He stunted behind chimneys and in and out of shadows before using the Umisen techniques to vanish. Then he waited. After a few moments, there was a scritching sound and a small brown form edged around the wall he leaned against.

Barry stared and felt sick. The telephoto lens and scattergun audio pickups meshed seamlessly with the little brown bat's cranium, replacing eyes and ears. The tiny mouth snapped and salivated below the metallic cylinder as the airborne spy searched for its target. Finally it crabbed around the wall then flung itself into space. Soon, it was out of sight and Barry carefully continued on his way. He'd call Kasumi—! No, that thing was far beyond present technology. If the demon had that, why not simple wire taps? It was time to update the goddesses — personally.

Gwen Barlowe waved to the shadowy form she believed to be her husband. She put the car in reverse and started for home. Turning the radio on to an easy-listening station, she hummed along with a song by a group called Rockapella. Music helped her deal with the sense of futility that sometimes threatened to overwhelm her. The sky was just turning gray with the light of the sun. It promised to be beautiful day.

She arrived home, as she had for the past year, before her older sister left for work and helped her get their mother into the car for her Thursday dialysis session. Her sister would take her there and Gwen would pick her up that afternoon. Her sister worked as office manager for an insurance firm and wouldn't be back till 5 or 6 P.M. That left the housework and other routine upkeep to Gwen, as well as looking after her seven-year old son.

She wondered if Barry realized just what had been decided at the end of the previous school year. Brendan would be starting a special education program for the upcoming school term to treat attention-deficit disorder. She really had to find time to talk to the psychologist this week. Today's calendar was full and tomorrow was Friday, and Barry's birthday. She watched her sister's car disappear up the street and sighed. Time to go see what Brendan was up to. One of the other things testing had revealed was a genius level IQ. He tended to use that, unsupervised, to create as much havoc as he could.

She wondered if Barry understood what each day put her through? (Barry was aware it was rough, but didn't realize how rough. As for Ranma, he was clueless!) Since he had been thrown from that horse, he seemed so different. He had an intensity she had never seen in him before, as well as an aggressive edge that was starting to frighten her. He reminded her of her brother after he had returned from the Marines. Relaxed but strangely honed, ready to counter a threat no one else perceived.

Gwen worried about how distant he seemed lately. She missed the intimacy but understood Barry might be uncomfortable for a while. What really worried her was the nervousness he exhibited when they were alone. Sometimes she felt that a stranger looked out of her husband's eyes. It made her more desperate to recapture what she missed (and was a major cause of a certain teenager's nightly discomfiture).

She called the psychologist in the hope that he might be able to slip her in after all and was rewarded. Someone canceled an 11:00 A.M appointment. Could she come in? She worked quickly to compress the morning schedule.

The psychologist spent an hour observing her son and his play habits with a number of toys, evaluating his attention and responses. "He seems reasonably healthy," Dr. Hasbar said slowly, while Brendan played in a room on the other side of a one-way mirror. "His attention is rather… limited. I would also like him to be re-tested for learning disabilities."

"Why?" Gwen asked tensely.

"I handed him a puzzle and asked him to complete it. He played with the pieces and never even began the puzzle." Gwen frowned. Brendan didn't mind puzzles and usually did better than that. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but despite the previous testing, he may not be the genius you believe him to be."

Gwen sighed appraisingly, "Just what puzzle did you give him anyway?"

"A simple puzzle — only twenty-five pieces. A child his age should have completed it in five minutes." The doctor leaned back in his leather chair. His posture said, 'poor woman, to have your hopes dashed…'

"What. Puzzle." she grated. Moments later, she banged out the lobby doors with Brendan in tow.

"Hey! Slow down, Mom," Brendan yelled, running to keep up. "What's wrong?"

"That stupid, overbearing, smug-faced jackass!" she snarled. Brendan flinched, wondering if he'd done something wrong. "Not you, sweetheart."

"Oh. Okay… Why'd he want me to do that puzzle anyway? I told him I did it a long time ago." Brendan snorted. "I could do it blindfolded."

"Unfortunately, darling, sometimes people assume things. And some people have trouble listening to… kids."

"How can Dr. Hasbar be a kid doctor if he doesn't listen to kids?" asked Brendan.

"Good question!" Gwen growled. She stopped and her shoulders slumped. "Oh, no!" The right rear light of the car was crushed in. While they were at the psychologist's, someone backed into their car.

"Hey, look! Somebody hit our car!" said Brendan unnecessarily. "What?" he asked as his mother, muttering savagely under her breath, unlocked the car and pointed toward his seat.

"Get in! Buckle up! Be quiet!" She started the car up and headed to the dialysis center to wait for her mother. The police car pulled them over a block short to give her a citation for the broken light.

Barry leaped off the roof by the park and immediately was in a fight for his… hair? Several intense violent moments later, he stood over more figures from Ranma's past. The diminutive men with the weirdly wrinkled bald heads glared up at him.

"Surrender, Ranma Saotome!" snarled one that looked like a bean bun, "We know you have it!"

"You guys again?" he snarled back. "Have what?"

"The Dragon's Whisker!" snapped Pork Bun. "Obviously you cleverly switched it on us while we were all fighting and left us with an ordinary useless string!"

"You guys are nuts!" Barry snapped back. "I ain't got time for this right now, but, as far as I know, the whisker was lost when I was fightin' the freak for it. Good riddance, too! At least I've still got my hair!"

"You lie!" said yet another Bun, as the last looked around for the hedge clippers he preferred as a weapon. "What are the odds of the magic of the whisker leaving you with hair! Obviously, you must have used it to recover! We want it!" Bean Bun reached around with his pole-arm as the others recovered their weaponry. "We'll get it, too!"

(WUMP!)

Barry watched the little forms whirl out of sight. That was mildly refreshing. Idiot Buns! Go figure! Picolet Chardin, a techno-minion, the Bun Boys… all in one day. It looked like Mio was better than he gave her credit for. He dodged down several side streets and then slid into a phone booth. He better call Akane at the Nekohanten and Ukyo at Ucchan's. It was getting weird out here and he better make certain they were safe. The Tendos first, though.

"Moshi, moshi!"

"Hi, Kasumi! Barry here. Has anything strange been happening?"

"Barry-san! Why, yes, now that you mention it." Kasumi's voice was as calm as ever, as she relayed her information to Barry. "We have been getting some rather strange visitors. Rouge, in Ashura-form, stopped by saying something about her honor. She preferred to go searching for you. Shinnosuke — Akane's friend from Ryugenzawa? He's in the living room having tea. I don't think he remembers why he's here, though. Would you know?"

Barry shuddered. "I have my suspicions, Kasumi, but I have to see Mrs. Morisato first."

"If Rouge comes back, what should I tell her?"

"That depends on whether Akane is back by then. When she gets back, ask her to call Nabiki. It just occurred to me that interest should be set at the time a debt is incurred and Chardin's half million might be mere legal fluff! Akane'll know what it's about!"

"Oh, dear!" Kasumi sounded a bit upset. Half a million yen could get a rise out of even Kasumi, apparently. "Picolet Chardin? I do hope you didn't invite him for dinner! You know how he eats, and I don't think we have enough."

Barry slumped against the side of the phone booth then recovered. "I think he's bringing his own, Kasumi. If anyone else shows up, be your usual self and let them know I'm working on a neutral meeting place where we can talk things over. No need to mess up the dojo."

"That is most considerate of you, Barry-san."

Barry counted his change. "Uh… Kasumi? Could you call Ucchan's and the Nekohanten and tell them who's shown up and to expect more?"

"Who has shown up?"

"Chardin, Rouge, Shinnosuke, the Bun Boys… Don't be surprised if Herb, Copycat Ken or Ryu Kumon show up, too. Heck! At this rate, don't be surprised if invaders from Mars make an appearance!" He thought furiously. "And tell them not to start fighting! If anyone starts something, all Nerima's gonna look like a bug on a windshield!"

"I'll do my best," Kasumi said, a hint of doubt creeping into her voice.

"You'll be fine, 'Sumi. I have faith in you! And I'll be back as quick as I can. Ooops! Gotta go!"

Barry dodged out of the booth just before it was cut in half by a winged Phoenix Mountain birdman wielding a long-handled halberd. "Where have you hidden it, Saotome!" he screeched. A second winged warrior appeared carrying a bow.

"This is stupid!" grumbled Barry. 'It's overkill! Why me?' He ran off down the street, hoping to avoid further confrontation. He hoped he could get to the Temple and that their phone was working.

Marller lost sight of the boy as he employed his damnably effective martial arts techniques again. This was fun, though! She sat on a throne-like chair in a dark room of the Kuno mansion, watching the action on a big screen TV. He was so predictable. Of course he'd go running for the Temple! But Beldandy, Urd and Skuld weren't there. Skuld was at the university. Beldandy was out for dinner with Keiichi, as they did every Thursday night. Urd was chasing an illusion of herself, leaving the Temple in the care of its… less discerning defenders.

When he crossed the Temple boundaries, he would break the wards and would have to defend himself against the defenders, alienating himself from his handlers. Meanwhile every enemy he had ever possessed would be charging right in after him! If she was lucky, the Temple itself would be destroyed. As she flipped the channel to catch the cameras she focused on the Temple, Kodachi came in.

"Oh Hohohohohohohoho!" Her dark eyes glistened with suppressed excitement, but her manner was stiff, unnatural even for her.

Marller shifted uncomfortably. That… laugh! Some things even a demon could appreciate the lack of. "What is it, Black Rose?"

"It is nearly finished, mother dear! I believe tomorrow, we will have the first test of the formula!" The girl looked nervously at the demon and waited breathlessly for her 'mother's' approval.

Marller smiled grimly. Kodachi's problems stemmed in part from a stepmother who had been a control fanatic and a firm believer the world was out to deny her, her due. A trophy bride of their unstable father after the death of their birth mother, she stepped in to control as much of the family resources as she could. Not wanting the bother of children of her own, she considered her predecessor's children as assets to be exploited. She taught her stepdaughter well. Kodachi had been isolated, nearly from birth, from any person or thing that might offer unconditional love. She had only her stepmother's approval to hope for and that approval demanded success, victory and power, regardless of the method used to attain it. Only her brother, in their early years, came close to offering anything else. Yet when he offered violence in an attempt to thwart one of their stepmother's schemes, he was sent packing to a boarding school, leaving Kodachi at the woman's mercy until her death when they were in their early teens.

Tatewaki came in and glared at the woman on the chair. To his befuddled senses, Marller appeared to be his stepmother, as well. He had come to fear and hate his stepmother. In his opinion, she alienated their father from his children. She was quite willing to use drugs, deceit and violence to obtain her ends, and did so regularly. He had made it a point, from early on, to oppose anything she favored and promote anything she opposed. It was unfortunate that, at ten, he had never heard of reverse psychology. At this moment, though he possessed all the memories of his past eighteen years, Marller's powers reverted his discernment to the level of that ten year-old boy, shortly before he had been driven out.

"My, my, Tachi," she drawled, "To what do we owe the honor of your presence?"

"The usual, mother," he said with distaste. "I have but come to give my farewells before I leave to seek Akane and the pigtailed girl."

"Really? As if they would have anything to do with you!"

Tatewaki growled. "I shall win them yet!"

"Oh, please! They could never notice you with the Saotome boy in the way! He is so fine, so perfect an example of manhood!" She gazed at the older sibling, watching how rage brought an angry flush to his face. "I'm tempted to take him, myself."

"Harlot!" snarled Tatewaki.

"Mother! No!" wailed Kodachi. "He's mine!"

Marller lounged and smiled. "You better do something about him then," she suggested. "Prove your worth." Her final statement was a spell as well as a dig at the Kunos' pride. They left rapidly, while Marller emitted a very Kodachi-like laugh of her own. Simply amazing! Almost all the action that was converging out there was the result of a simple 'bad-timing' curse, a sort of enforced version of Murphy's Law. All the possible bad things that could happen to the Saotome boy were about to unload on him at the same time. It was truly unbelievable just how excessive those forces were! Marller rang a bell, summoning Sasuke. "Another Bloody Mary, servant," she said disdainfully. "I'm going to enjoy this."

Gwen barely restrained herself from acting like a maniac. She had managed to talk her way out of a ticket for the broken light, only to be informed at the dialysis center that her mother's blood pressure remained dangerously low after the procedure. They had been trying to phone her and were waiting for the ambulance to take her to the hospital. Her sister had already been notified and was on the way. Brendan, bored after the visit to the psychiatrist's office and the wait while the policeman decided whether to ticket her or not, was racing around the waiting room. She wasn't in the mood to control him, all her attention focused on her mother.

She looked old and defeated. She focused on her youngest daughter and sighed again. She could see the pain and fear in Gwen's face. "Do I have to go to the hospital?" she asked weakly. She plucked at the cover they had given her.

"Yes. You do!" Gwen said fiercely. "We have to get your blood pressure up." She tucked the cover in and jittered in place.

"Dear, sit down!" her mother said with a hint of exasperation. "Please don't be so upset. This body of mine is just getting old." She smiled slightly. "Almost time to go home." Gwen knew she wasn't talking about the house they all lived in.

Gwen barely restrained herself from breaking into tears. "But, I'm not ready!" she said forcefully. "I'm not ready… God, that sounds so selfish!"

"Don't worry, dear. I know you don't mean it that way." The old hand, its veins bruised and black from the need to search for useable veins, reached over and patted Gwen's arm. "I love you, too. Even my going won't stop that."

Gwen sighed and nodded. Then her sister hurried in, followed by the ambulance attendants. She was intense and concerned as always, firing off questions like the beat of a snare drum, quickly taking over the situation, including directing the medical team how care for their mother.

Ranma looked at his watch again and frowned. It wasn't like Gwen to be late. He slowly began to wander out to the road at the end of the driveway. He had surreptitiously been practicing his martial arts and ki control during breaks and lunch. He found that Barry's control over a horse was greatly improved by a deliberate overlap of his aura and the animal's. He had, with his usual flair, discovered that he could cast his awareness about, seeing and hearing things at fair distances from his body. Some of this had been aided by the book Gwen had given him the other day. While details were not clear, several people with out of body experiences described how it felt, and he used that to guide his experimentation. He contemplated using his ki to persuade Gwen to leave him alone, but shied from the idea. It was one thing to manipulate the will of an animal, but to do that to a human…

He thought again about his isolation and the opportunities in this new world. "Feh!" he muttered quietly. A world without Akane's sweet smile? He'd rather be dead. He had an idea that might work to get him back. But it required a little more research. Ranma would need to allow a degree of emotionality that he normally denied himself, but he had never wanted anything or anyone the way he wanted Akane. It would have to be enough.

Lights suddenly shone at the entrance to the farm and he shaded his eyes. It was simply a late-arriving owner, coming after work or a late dinner to spend some time with their horse. Ranma waved absently, he wasn't even sure who it was, and got out of the way. While he supposed he could find out by accessing Barry's memories, it was too much effort. He looked up at the stars and wondered how the folks home were managing with Barry. He liked the older man, who combined youthful exuberance with middle-aged experience. He didn't pretend his age gave him special dispensation when it came to being right or wrong. He made suggestions, admitted mistakes and tried desperately to leave Ranma live his life despite his presence.

In some ways, Barry was soft. He didn't have the edge the old man trained Ranma to. If Barry had been in charge of Ranma's childhood, there would have been no Nekoken, no Jusenkyo, no Umisen or Yamasen… and without those techniques, Ranma would be a Joketsuzoku husband or dead… or worse. He would lack the control he enjoyed over his life, the confidence in his own ability to adapt to anything and win. Such confidence came at a terrible price. If he had had one iota of understanding in the past year, or less pride, he might have understood the signals Akane had been sending his way, before this.

He shook the bangs back out of his eyes as lights turned in the driveway. It was Gwen. He knew something was wrong when she stopped but didn't look at him. The hairs on the back of his neck rose and he felt a sudden sense of panic. He never considered the idea that something might happen to Barry's family while he was here. He yanked open the door of the car. "Gwen! What's wrong?"

"Could you… Could you drive home?" she asked shakily. She didn't wait to get an affirmative answer, but slid across the bench seat.

"Kami—! God, what's wrong, Gwen?" he whispered.

She sat still for a moment before she began quietly, "Mom's back in the hospital. Her blood pressure… But she's talking as if she's not coming out again, and that stupid psychiatrist… and the puh-p-policeman… and the light… and… buh-b-Brendan…"

Ranma took a deep breath to slow his heart rate. Apparently, no one was dead yet. He walked around to the driver's side of the car and climbed in. He watched, fascinated, the stressed out woman beside him. He had always regarded other people's lives as easy. But few of the problems Barry encountered were readily resolvable by Ranma's training. Mostly, he had to muddle through. He hated it. He almost wished someone would pick a fight with him, but Barry's routine never took him near anyone that aggressive. When you worked from before dawn to well after dark, you didn't have much time for recreation.

As he listened to a recital of Gwen's perfectly rotten day, it suddenly occurred to him that he was driving the car. It took every ounce of control he had to avoid overriding Barry's training behind the wheel. If he hadn't spent a month with the man, listening to his attempts to explain the difficulties of their cohabitation, he would have had the car in the ditch. It was a little like the horseback riding he was doing. He had to think about what he wanted to do, but then let the body respond appropriately. He grinned briefly then sobered again. Gwen was going to demand comfort. He sure as hell hoped she wouldn't demand anything more. He made occasional comforting sounds in her direction.

When they arrived home she seemed to regain a measure of control over herself, and started a discussion with her sister over when they would visit their mother and what they would do while she was in. Neither discussed the possibility that she might not be coming home. After his dinner, Ranma followed Gwen downstairs and, after watching her for a few moments, ran through a shower. She was in bed when he came out and Ranma gingerly edged under the covers. Gwen sat there, still as a statue and with a chill emanating from her as if she were preparing for a Hiru Shoten Hai or a Shi Shi Hokudsan or both. He sat there, watching her sit there, staring across at the wall.

"Um, you okay?"

"No."

Ranma absorbed that. He felt a sense of déjà vu. If this had been Akane, he would have insulted her, tried to gain some response to snap her out of her doldrums. Barry's memories and reactions were saying something quite different to him. "Ya want a shoulder?"

"No."

"Don't be a dummy! I know yer hurtin'!" The words slipped out before he could stop them. He offered the shelter of his arm and froze. The look in her eyes…

"Dummy?"

He flinched, almost expecting a mallet. "Gwen, I wish I could make things better, but I don't know how. For now, all I can do is lend ya a shoulder, listen to ya and hope somehow that it will turn out all right." Praying he was doing the right thing, he offered his arm again. Gwen huddled into it, missing the look of pain that crossed his face. She began to cry again, and he rocked and comforted her until she fell asleep. Reaching over to turn out the light, he wondered if Barry were doing any better in his place.

Barry ran like hell. He had at least half a dozen Phoenix Mountain warriors flying after him, as was the three-faced, six-armed Ashura-form of Rouge, the Bun Boys, the Seven Lucky Gods and what looked like a mechanical humanoid tank. Sentaro of Martial Arts Tea Ceremony was careening along on his horse, closely flanked by Azusa Shiratori (who, frankly, frightened Barry almost as much as Kodachi at her worst). She was alternating glaring at Ranma and shooting glances at the equestrian as if she were considering kidnapping him for her collection. Herb, Lime and Mint of the Musk Dynasty charged alongside Kiini, master of the Muscle Sword. Prince Toma of Togenkyo and a team of his guards and advisors were trying to flank him. The Furinkan Chemistry Department on bicycles, some clown — literally — on stilts… Actually, conspicuous by their absence were Happosai, Pantyhose Taro and, of course, Ukyo and the China gang.

Feeling like he was being chased by most of China across the length and breadth of Tokyo, he dodged a fire blast from Rouge, ducked a Chinese broadsword courtesy of a Bun-Boy, and reversed, running up the shaft of a savagely thrust pike of a Togenkyo Island guard. He waved hello in passing to Prince Toma who scowled at him and instinctively unleashed a blast of his fire illusion at him. Barry knew that trick, since Ranma had, but the Dojo Destroyer didn't. He somersaulted between the behemoth's legs and back through the pursuers who tangled with one another in total lack of cooperation and confusion the only saving grace of this mess. Above him, his airborne pursuers stunted past one another in angry competition for airspace. The Dojo Destroyer turned and puffed out a cloud of smoke before collapsing. His bulk trapped two of the Bun Boys beneath him.

Barry ducked into an alley across the street from the Temple and tried to work out his options. Umisen was really getting overused today, but he didn't have much of a choice. Panting, he listened to the bickering that broke out as the group realized they had temporarily lost him. About half the argument was in Chinese, of which he had very limited understanding. They roughly made search assignments and began to look for their target.

At the Kuno mansion, a slender, leather bedecked form lounged in a nightmarish throne and laughed her demonic head off.