Van pumped his wings as hard as he could using pure will to go fast enough
to get hitomi off of her slowly descending cloud. He didn't have time to
think, but he could feel again. The hole that had been growing so slowly
in his heart was filled as soon as he saw her, filled with her presence,
filled with her pain.
He took her beautiful body in his arms, wanting to cover her and protect her as she lay helpless in his arms. She sighed and curled into him, tucking her face under his chin. Van could feel her light breath fluttering against his neck, reassuring him that this woman in his arms was no wraith or fantasy, but real, and his.
He landed on the stones at the front of his palace, and Merle came out to take help with Hitomi. She ran, as cats do, scampering across the courtyard, casting fearful glances at him, but shy, excited smiles on Hitomi. That is, until he brought he rinto the light.
Life had not been good to her. Her cheeks were sunken, her shoulders thin. He had not noticed in the night, where shadows may or may not be moonlight's follies. Van had her taken up to his room immediately, and called doctors to come look at her, for he knew that whatever was to be done had to be quickly, before he lost her forever.
All Van wanted to do was hold vigil at Hitomi's bedside, but Merle took the opportunity to corner him.
"Lord Van - no, you no longer deserve the title. Think, think of what you have done in the past days, in the past YEAR, and then think about whether or not she will accept that. She loved the man you were, but I doubt she will love the person you've become." She looked so wise, beyond her years, in her humble garments and tattered fur. Van eyes dimmed, and became hard, like two garnets.
"She will love me - she must." It was all he said, and yet to his own ears he found it to be full of false bravado. Merle knew as well, he could see the pity in her eyes. He wanted to run, to think, he needed time to think, as he hadn't been able to in two years.
"Merle." He kept his eyes downcast as he forced out these words. "Merle, please, watch over Hitomi. I don't think that I- that I." he found he couldn't finish. He remembered the blood on his hands, and couldn't finish. He remembered the course garments of Merle, and couldn't finish. And above all, he remembered the fear in the children's eyes as he rode past, and couldn't finish.
He barely nodded as he heard her assent, and then bolted for the graveside of his family. He had let it be grown over, and it looked compelling in the moonlight. Gently swaying blossoms, closed for the night, hung on their stalk, letting only the barest scent escape their clutch.
"oh, brother, mother, what should I do?" he asked of the cold stone monuments. He didn't expect an answer, of course, because all of the people he beseeched were dead. He fell deeper and deeper into self pity, thinking of how Hitomi could never love a man who had killed, and conveniently forgetting all the times he had enjoyed killing in the heat of battle. He did not forget however, he accusing eyes as she left him for the Mystic Moon that first, dreadful time.
"Believe." he heard the quiet whisper, but heeded it not, accounting it to some mystery of the ebon night.
"Believe, my son" His head started up, and with wide eyes he looked around for the source of that well-loved voice.
"Believe, my brother" He strained his eyes to make out shapes in the moonlight, and yet could see nothing.
"Believe in her heart, and yours.." The voices faded into the distance. Van ran, taking no note of the branches slapping his arms, and the thorn ruining his gorgeously expensive clothes. He simply wanted to hold onto those precious voices, and ask them what do.
He ran out into water, the moon shining around him in a haze of silver, reaching out to be held as he hadn't since he was a child. He felt a brief touch, almost nothing more than a breeze, against his cheek, and heard, once more, his mother's pure fluting voice.
"Go to her." and it was gone.
He took her beautiful body in his arms, wanting to cover her and protect her as she lay helpless in his arms. She sighed and curled into him, tucking her face under his chin. Van could feel her light breath fluttering against his neck, reassuring him that this woman in his arms was no wraith or fantasy, but real, and his.
He landed on the stones at the front of his palace, and Merle came out to take help with Hitomi. She ran, as cats do, scampering across the courtyard, casting fearful glances at him, but shy, excited smiles on Hitomi. That is, until he brought he rinto the light.
Life had not been good to her. Her cheeks were sunken, her shoulders thin. He had not noticed in the night, where shadows may or may not be moonlight's follies. Van had her taken up to his room immediately, and called doctors to come look at her, for he knew that whatever was to be done had to be quickly, before he lost her forever.
All Van wanted to do was hold vigil at Hitomi's bedside, but Merle took the opportunity to corner him.
"Lord Van - no, you no longer deserve the title. Think, think of what you have done in the past days, in the past YEAR, and then think about whether or not she will accept that. She loved the man you were, but I doubt she will love the person you've become." She looked so wise, beyond her years, in her humble garments and tattered fur. Van eyes dimmed, and became hard, like two garnets.
"She will love me - she must." It was all he said, and yet to his own ears he found it to be full of false bravado. Merle knew as well, he could see the pity in her eyes. He wanted to run, to think, he needed time to think, as he hadn't been able to in two years.
"Merle." He kept his eyes downcast as he forced out these words. "Merle, please, watch over Hitomi. I don't think that I- that I." he found he couldn't finish. He remembered the blood on his hands, and couldn't finish. He remembered the course garments of Merle, and couldn't finish. And above all, he remembered the fear in the children's eyes as he rode past, and couldn't finish.
He barely nodded as he heard her assent, and then bolted for the graveside of his family. He had let it be grown over, and it looked compelling in the moonlight. Gently swaying blossoms, closed for the night, hung on their stalk, letting only the barest scent escape their clutch.
"oh, brother, mother, what should I do?" he asked of the cold stone monuments. He didn't expect an answer, of course, because all of the people he beseeched were dead. He fell deeper and deeper into self pity, thinking of how Hitomi could never love a man who had killed, and conveniently forgetting all the times he had enjoyed killing in the heat of battle. He did not forget however, he accusing eyes as she left him for the Mystic Moon that first, dreadful time.
"Believe." he heard the quiet whisper, but heeded it not, accounting it to some mystery of the ebon night.
"Believe, my son" His head started up, and with wide eyes he looked around for the source of that well-loved voice.
"Believe, my brother" He strained his eyes to make out shapes in the moonlight, and yet could see nothing.
"Believe in her heart, and yours.." The voices faded into the distance. Van ran, taking no note of the branches slapping his arms, and the thorn ruining his gorgeously expensive clothes. He simply wanted to hold onto those precious voices, and ask them what do.
He ran out into water, the moon shining around him in a haze of silver, reaching out to be held as he hadn't since he was a child. He felt a brief touch, almost nothing more than a breeze, against his cheek, and heard, once more, his mother's pure fluting voice.
"Go to her." and it was gone.