Guest Ki: Chapter 48

Confessions

Kurumi staggered in about 5 A.M. Traveling by pig was a little slower than train, but a lot cheaper. She found the doors open to her and wandered toward the kitchen, hoping for a late (or early) snack. Blinking, she tried to make sense of the sight of Ranma, Akane and Natsume asleep around the table in the main room. She stood there swaying and scratching her head. Suddenly, Ranma's eyes opened.

"Welcome back," he whispered and added unnecessarily, "We were waiting up for you."

"Well, duh-uh!" She kept her voice low. "Is there anything to eat?" she whined plaintively.

"Kasumi set some stuff aside for ya."

"Great!" enthused Kurumi then clapped a hand over her mouth. The others stirred but didn't wake. Barry tried not to smile at her expression.

"C'mon, I'll show you where the food is."

Moments later Barry watched Ranma's 'little sister' snarf down food fast enough to choke Picolet Chardin. As a matter of fact, he was sorely tempted to pit Kurumi against the Martial Arts Dining specialist, but decided that there wasn't enough time to instruct then girl in either the parlay or in Hidden Weapons. The latter he really didn't have any right to do anyway, unless he got Mousse's permission. Oh, well...

"So," Kurumi mumbled around a mouthful of mackerel, "When were you plannin' on telling us about our dad?"

Barry looked at her flatly but gulped when he saw a hint of tears at the corners of her eyes. In an attempt to rally, he hardened his features and accused; "You're doing that deliberately."

"You...mean y-you...want us to b-be or-ph-ph-phans...the (gulp) rest of our lives?"

Barry dropped his eyes and his head to the top of the kitchen counter. He thumped it a few times before he caught a sly snicker. He brought his eyes up and glared.

Kurumi didn't miss a beat, but continued to stuff herself. "Ah thig ahl ligh havbig u' fo' uh bruver..."

Barry felt his heart skip a beat. "What did you say?"

She grinned at him. After she choked down the last of the food she added. "Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I'd rather have panda-man for a father than Happosai."

"How do you figure it's either of them?" Barry retorted.

"We-ell," she drawled, eyes blinking heavily, now that her stomach was filled, "it's not Soun; but it's definitely someone trained in the Anything-Goes style. Unless I'm mistaken, only the Saotome and Tendo families train in that style." She yawned hugely. "That means it's Genma or Happosai, who's the founder of Mutsabetsu Kakuto. Since the rumor dealt with you and panda-man, I'm betting on Genma."

"There is at least one other practitioner of our style," Barry said slowly. He watched her frown and blink. "But as he's only twenty, I don't think he's a serious candidate for your father."

She grinned again. "So, I'm right?"

Barry didn't answer directly. "Let me put it this way, Kurumi. All things considered, would you want my old man for a father?"

"It's better than nothing, and we could get on with our lives."

"But..." Barry looked toward the dojo where Genma and Ryu were bedding down and where he would shortly go to get what little sleep he could. Nodoka planned to share with the two sisters. "But, what if he could be more?"

Kurumi blinked and frowned. "He's gonna be less with us around competing for dinner, " she snickered finally.

"I'm not joking," Barry insisted. "Your sister asked him directly, when we got back, if he knew. He said he wanted to wait for you to get back. Maybe, just maybe, he's gonna try to change."

"I'm not holding my breath." She yawned again, stretched and looked at the dark predawn sky out the window. "So where are we bunking?"

"You two are in the guestroom with my mom."

"Are you kidding?" Kurumi looked shaken. "But she's got that big sword!"

"Do ya honestly think my mother is gonna carve ya inta chops once yer asleep?" Barry asked sarcastically. He looked at her wide eyes. "Goof! Your only worry should be how much of a fuss she's gonna make over ya. Hell! I think she wants me to be her daughter sometimes! C'mon!" He turned and walked out to the main room, knowing she would follow.

Kurumi sighed fatalistically. She muttered to herself as she pushed past him and shook her sister's shoulder. Natsume grumbled but didn't wake up.

"C'mon, Natsume," Kurumi grumbled back. "I'll leave you," she warned.

Barry crouched down and started to pick the girl up in a cradle carry. Kurumi growled softly. His eyebrow rose in response. "Wadja think I'm gonna do?" he asked. She frowned and blinked. "Let's get you two settled down for what's left of the night. Don't worry. I'll treat her as if she were my own sister."

He got another glare, which somehow metamorphosed, into a slight smile. Kurumi followed him up the steps. He returned for Akane, shook her gently then, at the lack of response, did the same for her. He had to fend off two punches and an elbow, all unconsciously driven, on the way up. Finally, he walked out to the dojo as false dawn began to light the sky. He glanced in as he gently slid the shoji open. Kumon lay curled on his side, huddled under the blanket. Next to him, Genma's futon was empty. Quickly, he cast about with ki-vision, but Genma was nowhere in range. Barry felt betrayed.

"Dammit, Genma! I don't know that anyone will forgive you this time," he muttered bitterly. Ranma could have told him. Would have told him. Genma looks out for himself. He flopped down on his own futon and let sleep take him.

"Good morning!"

Barry blinked at Kasumi's voice, then hunted for a pillow to pull over his head. Then, he remembered they were short on pillows and he had given his to Kurumi or Natsume. He reached for the blanket then subsided. He was now already too far awake to go back to sleep again.

He sat up, blinked at Kasumi and took in her worried face. He followed the line of her eyes and sighed as he saw the empty mattress. Their eyes met and Akane's oldest sister looked like she was about to cry, herself. He hated that look. Kasumi's face was made for smiles, not tears.

"Good morning, Kasumi," he replied. "Please don't look like that. It's not like it was unexpected."

She sighed. "Sometimes I think you are more disappointed in Uncle Saotome than… he would have been," she said quietly.

"I know what it could be like, 'Sumi. I wish he had what I've had."

"Perhaps he will surprise us, yet?" Kasumi offered without much hope. "I'll keep some breakfast aside for him."

"You know what Nabiki would say."

Kasumi snorted in a very gentile fashion at this attempt at humor. She turned to their guest. "Kumon-san! Would you like to wake up? Everyone is going to school now. Perhaps you would like to join us for breakfast?"

Ryu sat up and blearily looked around. He thanked Kasumi then saw Barry. "Hey, Saotome! Would you consider last night normal for you?"

"Huh?" Barry thought a moment. "Well," he replied slowly, "things had been quiet of late."

"Burning little balls of sh—! Oops! Sorry, Tendo-san." Ryu caught himself in the middle of some colorful language. "No wonder you beat the crap outa your challengers. They're only the dessert course."

Barry grinned. "Still wanna fight?" he asked.

"Hell, yes!" Ryo replied. "Win or lose, I know I'm gonna learn something!"

"That's a healthy attitude to take around me," Barry bragged, playing his roll perhaps a bit unnecessarily.

Ryu snorted and delivered a spin-kick from a squat position. Soon they were sparring, trading blows and blocks to help chase the sleep away. Afterwards, they walked out of the dojo in time to see Akane tear off in what had become a ritual for her — the morning obstacle course. "She does that every day?" Ryu asked, running his fingers back through his hair to strip away the sweat.

"I usually do it with her, or meet her on the way, if I'm at Mom's, but… Yeah, every morning." Barry grinned. "I guess a little workout with the Yakuza just wasn't good enough for her."

"Speaking of which." Ryu looked uncomfortable. They turned toward the house and the bathroom. "That news report. If that was a drug lab, do you think they're gonna come after you?"

"I dunno," Barry admitted. "They might. If they do, I'm gonna hafta make it clear it ain't worth their while." His face tightened and his eyes narrowed. "If they get rough, and didn't get me first thing, I'll track down every rat associated with them. I think I'll make that clear if I see Nikki again."

Ryu gulped. Ranma boasted a lot, but this sounded sincere… and deadly. "What happened to Budo?" he asked nervously. The pigtailed man's lips tightened further and he did not reply. Budo would have demanded only sufficient force to turn away the attack. Ranma seemed prepared, almost eager to go much further.

"I don't like drugs. I don't like prostitution. Yakuza destroy people's lives for profit. It wouldn't take much," Ryu heard him mutter. Ryu Kumon dropped the subject. If Ranma was going to go berserker, at least it was against someone like the Yakuza. They walked down the hall to the bath. The changing room door was partly open. They walked in and stripped. Ryu reached for the inner door.

Ranma's hand shot out to stop him. "Towels, fast! Strategic— ah, shit!"

The inner door slid open. Natsume stopped dead and gaped at the boggling Ryu. Behind her, Kurumi jumped up and down to see why she had stopped. Behind her Nodoka stopped halfway out of the bath to see Barry and the Kumon boy blocking the door. She bit back laughter. She forgot that the girls weren't trained in social niceties. They must have moved her house slippers and the sign aside when they had joined her in the furo.

"K-k-k-K-K-K-KUMON!" Natsume roared. Barry grabbed a towel and dove for the hall. (Bam-CRUNCH!)He winced. Maybe Ryu could wait a few days to heal up.

It was a bit crowded around the table, but not as much as it would have been had Genma been there. There was little conversation. Natsume was glowering at Ryu, who sported a bruised face and a sour expression. Barry suppressed laughter. Usually, Ranma got caught in something like this. Akane looked between the two and began to smile faintly. She wondered if lightning struck twice, so to speak.

Then Natsume turned her glower on Barry, and suddenly the Yakuza of the previous night seemed a minor diversion. "Where's panda-man?" she asked quietly. Kurumi glanced over, looked toward the ceiling and returned painfully to her restrained eating. Nodoka must have said something that impressed her. Her pace was that of a normal human being. Barry barely noticed. He glanced at Nodoka, who was staring sadly at her hands in her lap. He knew what he would have to do.

"I'm right here, child," came an unexpected voice. The shoji at the garden drew back and Genma, human and fairly neat compared to his usual appearance, entered the room. If you dropped a pin into the steamed rice, you would have heard the impact. "Though it is hardly fair to you or your sister, you have the right to call me Father," he said quietly. At the shocked look on their faces, he turned to Soun. "Tendo, I would understand if…" His voice broke and he struggled to regain control. "I have brought great disharmony to your house." He sought for words.

"Saotome, for my part, I forgive you," Soun said quietly. "We both have done stupid things while under the Master's training." He nodded toward Nodoka and her son. "If anyone has the right to call for atonement, it is your wife and children. I suggest you address them."

Ryu was uncomfortably aware that he was totally out of place here. This was family business. You just didn't discuss family business in front of outsiders like this! Besides, he was very nearly on a direct line between Genma and Natsume and he really didn't want to get in her way again this morning.

Genma gazed at Nodoka sadly. "I don't have any excuse. I won't blame the Master for what I chose to do." He looked at the ground then at his wife, who would not meet his eyes, then at his now acknowledged daughters. "I accept whatever punishment any of you see fit." He knelt, prostrated himself and waited. There was a sigh like the wind.

"Genma, what have you done?" Nodoka asked quietly.

"I took a mistress, the year after we were married. You remember when Soun and I were gone six months and you and Kimiko raised Kasumi together for a while?" His head didn't rise, and his voice was soft. "She was a sweet woman, a good cook, and I had escaped the Master for a while. Anyway, I let her seduce me. The Master finally found me and forced me to go off with him again. And eventually, I came home. It was on one of those trips where I took our baby with me, that I met her again, and… was weak. Natsume was already a pretty little thing and almost I brought them back with me. But I was afraid. Afraid of you, afraid of the Master, afraid of what my daughter might grow up to face if the Master were around. I didn't know about Kurumi, though, until they showed up here asking for Tendo."

Barry was a bit startled at how peaceful the man looked. As near as he could tell, every muscle in his body was at rest. The man wasn't usually this relaxed as a panda sunning himself by the pond. There was none of the tension or sense of defensiveness that would suggest he was planning anything.

Ryu abruptly stood up, mumbled an apology and fled for the dojo. With that interruption out of the way, Nodoka raised her head, revealing the track of tears across her face. "Dearest, where does it end?"

Genma sighed a long sigh. He turned his head and looked at Barry, then at Natsume and Kurumi. "I don't know, Nodoka. I've done a lot of evil in my life. More than I could ever account for. I'm lucky that every time I turn around a corner, I don't walk into someone I've cheated or stolen from. The boy here has at least a dozen more girls who might be looking for him. Soun should never go to Nanjing, China. There were two other martial arts techniques I tried to teach the boy that were every bit as bad as the Nekoken. As far as I can tell, they didn't work and he doesn't remember them."

Barry blanched. The mental trauma must have been horrific, to so completely block the resulting memories. Genma droned on, almost peacefully. Most of his misdeeds were petty or stupid, the result of a man who had been trained to live with all the morality and forethought of an animal. After a while, Nodoka interrupted him gently. "Dearest, how much longer is this going to take? It's time for the children to go to school."

Genma blinked. "I'm sorry. I suppose you two might as well go," he said to Akane and Barry. "This may take a while longer."

Akane rose to her feet, a doubtful expression on her face. Barry looked thoughtful, but remained seated. "I'm stayin'." He raised an eyebrow as Nodoka gave him a look signifying her disapproval.

Akane sat back down. She looked at Barry, Nodoka, then glared at Nabiki, who jerked and slipped her microphone behind her. "Nabiki, aren't you going back to the university?" she demanded.

Her sister gave her a sweet smile. "But things are so interesting here," she drawled, "I won't miss anything important."

"You are not recording Uncle Saotome!"

"Let her, Akane," Nodoka suggested slowly. "I might miss something and need to replay it. But no copies!" Her voice went hard and her fingers played on the silk-wrapped bundle on her lap. Barry knew it was merely nervous habit, but Nabiki gulped. Nodoka turned back to Barry. "You need to get to school," Nodoka told him. "You shouldn't disappoint the girl who is your date today."

"That's hardly important," he said flatly. Nodoka's eyes narrowed. He scowled back. "Don't any of ya do nothin' to Pops, till I get back."

"It's not your concern."

"I've made it my concern," Barry informed her, interrupting. He rose to his feet. "Let's go, Akane. If it concerns us, we'll hear the replay."

School was tense. Kodachi was absent. Shampoo and Ukyo heard about the fuss with Nabiki and demanded to know why they hadn't been included in the fun. Ukyo was also grumpy because she had missed the action at the Temple. "You guys have all the fun and I get stuck slaving over a hot stove," she griped. "All of the problems and none of the privileges of being married!" She stuck a finger in Barry's face. "And you weren't there to help!"

Barry went cross-eyed then looked innocently at her. "You wanted me to bring them all to Ucchan's?"

Shampoo and Akane began to snicker as Ukyo took in that concept. Mio walked up then and joined them, a worried look on her face. Barry waved at her. "Boy, did you ever nail it!" he moaned. "You should have seen the mayhem!"

Mio bit her lower lip and glanced back and forth between Barry and the girls. "It was bad?"

"It was a police action," Barry replied, "At least!"

Mio licked her lips. "In that case, expect full-scale war today."

"What?" Barry frowned and focused more acutely on her.

"I said, 'Expect full scale war today'." She dithered, glanced around and left with her books, very quickly.

"Did she just say…" Ukyo demanded shakily.

"Aiya!"

"Oh, boy!" Akane stared after Barry's date. "Who's your date for this afternoon? We'll have to warn her off!"

"If I survive that long." Barry looked sick. "Anyone got a ticket to a large, barren landscape no one's using?"

"Antarctica?" Shampoo suggested slyly.

"Too much ice and snow. Ki blasts would turn it to water, then I'd get wet and then I'd get frozen," Barry replied without missing a beat, "Red-headed popsicle girl!"

"The Sahara?" inquired Akane.

"It would be the one day that century that it rains, then we'd get a sandstorm and then I'd be a gritty, sand in every crack, red-headed girl!"

"Eeuw!"

"Outer Mongolia?" Ukyo considered. Then, "No, that's too close to where most of these morons come from. Let's not give them home field advantage!"

"Good thinking, Ucchan," Barry chuckled. To himself he imagined the crowd from yesterday on a baseball diamond.

Ryoga huffed up then, and apologized for being late. Akari needed to 'pig' him that morning to wake him up and the hot water was out again.

"I wish I had any other curse besides being a pig," he groaned mournfully.

"I don't know Ryoga-honey…" Ukyo swung her book bag over her shoulder as they walked into the school. "I don't think you'd make a very good slug."

"Is there a pool of the drowned slug?" Ryoga asked, startled.

"What about a flamingo?"

"Bad idea," Barry cut in. "That bandana would never go with the pink feathers, and I just don't see Ryoga wearing a pink bandana. People might get the wrong idea—!"

(WHAP!) Several book bags were used to good effect.

"Ite…"

As mentioned before, school was a bit tense. There was an odd undercurrent Barry noticed right away, at gym class. He was used to people looking at him oddly, but… All he knew was, had he been a girl, he would have sworn half the guys were lusting after him.

This was particularly so when they returned from the field to get their showers. They were all waiting for him to go in first. Fortunately, Ryoga, oblivious to all this, walked in, turned on the hot water and was reduced to pig-state. Barry looked at the water splashing on a cold, wet, annoyed black piglet then glanced at the rest of the gym class. Gosunkugi was obviously clueless, as were the twins and Kogara. Hiroshi and Daisuke seemed almost too innocent. Barry glared at them then dressed without a shower. As a joke it might have been funny, if they hadn't seemed almost angrily disappointed by its failure. Ryoga, more alert to nuance in his animal form, stayed close by Barry's heels, as he collected the lost-boy's clothes and waited for Akane to come out of the girl's side.

The look on his face was enough to deflect the scowl of suspicion that was her first reaction. That is… boy outside of girl's locker room equals peeping pervert. When he explained the problem, Shampoo and Ukyo, who joined them at that point, looked at one another. "We had hot water on our side, sugar." Akane and Shampoo nodded.

Suddenly, Shampoo's eyes went wide. She yelped and leaped into the air, almost hitting her head on the ceiling. She turned and backhanded Daisuke into the lockers. "What for pervert-boy think can grab Shampoo's butt like that?" The Amazon was outraged. No one had tried anything like that after the first week she was there! Daisuke often looked, but had been too intelligent to pursue… till now. He collapsed on his face with a weird smile playing about his mashed lips.

"Wow! What did he do, Shampoo?" Akane asked, eyes wide. Shampoo had jumped like a startled cat. She stared at Daisuke's twitching form with a sort of professional interest, remembering many boys who received similar treatment at her hands.

"He just walk up and grab Shampoo's butt, like this!" the Amazon complained.

Akane warbled and jumped, twisting in midair and bumping into Ukyo as she landed, almost sending the other girl off her feet. Her hands were behind her, rubbing her bruised derriere. "Honestly!" she exclaimed, blushing and upset.

Shampoo looked at her hand and frowned. "Aiya." She stared at Akane and blinked looking confused. "I sorry, Akane. I…" She looked at Daisuke again and frowned.

"Oooh, boy. This is could get ugly," Barry remarked sarcastically.

"Did Shampoo just pinch your butt, Akane?" Ukyo pursed her lips, glancing between the two. "Guess we know who's really the pervert-girl, huh?"

"Spatula-girl better watch mouth!" growled Shampoo, obviously upset.

"Whatever," Ukyo said dismissively.

Only ten meters away, Hiroshi looked at the glossy color print of an enraged and naked Marller taped inside the cover of his book. He rubbed the picture lightly with his finger and smiled, before snapping the book shut. He was not unaware that many of his male classmates were similarly preoccupied with pictures they had paid Hiroshi and Daisuke for. This had made them some nice seed money. Now he and Daisuke could start their dream project rolling. His laughter was reminiscent of Blue Thunder Kuno at his worst.

In his office, the Principle looked at a similar picture, his hands shaking slightly. He wiped sweat from his forehead, and ignored the fact that he had dislodged his beloved palm tree. At the university, there was a sudden rash of complaints from female students of being pinched or otherwise harassed. Fights broke out over trivial things. Vandalism was becoming a problem. The same was also true at fifteen other centers of learning and several businesses; all of which received shipments of Marller's photo.

Barry was hot and bothered by the time he got them all to class and that bothered him more than anything else that had happened this day. Three times he had been distracted… really distracted, by that musky scent he had noticed since Ranma left. Until recently, he assumed it was some perfume the girls around here wore. Since Amazon month began and he was placed in close proximity with a large number of girls, he began to suspect otherwise. Several of the girls who really regretted putting their names in for dates had this peculiarly attractive scent. He doubted they would try to attract him when they were obviously afraid of him.

The alternative had to do with cats and the Nekoken. With neko on full-time, some of Ranma's senses were heightened; in particular the senses of taste and smell. Also, at the lake, Ranma had gone neko during a fertile period of his female form and acted like a cat in heat calling for a mate. Barry already considered that a potential problem for Ranma, but Ranma hadn't wanted to talk about it. The young man simply dismissed it as something he couldn't control. But they hadn't considered the other angle — tomcats don't have a cycle where sexual interest is at a peak. Tomcats are dependent only on the presence a receptive female. The 'perfume' he had found attractive might be detectable only due to his neko-boosted senses. It just might be letting the 'tomcat' in Ranma recognize which females were in season. When Ranma got back there could be hell to pay if he went cat and took off after the first fertile female that he encountered. A very public rape of anyone, fiancée or not, would land him in an asylum or worse. Barry doubted that protests of Nekoken-induced insanity would be well received by the authorities.

He wondered why the scent was so effective just now. He noticed it before, but it had been interesting, not demanding. But now—!

Hinako was in a bad mood this morning. As she sat demurely on the corner of her desk, she scowled impartially at everyone and flipped a coin in a manner that suggested delinquents would be welcomed… eagerly! Everyone was uneasy, waiting for something to happen. Boys glanced at girls with bright intense eyes. Girls glanced at guys with an odd, almost reciprocal intensity that made Barry's short hairs prickle.

Barry glanced covertly around the room. If he was right about the scent, then neither Shampoo nor Akane were, uh… fertile. Ukyo was, however, as was Yuka, a few seats over. It was not a sweat inducing, heart-pounding drag on his consciousness, but the awareness was an itch, one that he dare not scratch. Damn! Was he ever glad he didn't go neko like Ranma! He would have to warn Akane about his theory. But was that a good idea? Akane seemed to be much better these days, and he didn't mind getting hit during her occasional misunderstandings when she didn't think things through. This however was a direct threat to any relationship. He didn't think Akane would go for the idea of a fiancé who might go on the prowl with a vengeance simply because he encountered a cat at the wrong moment. It was just possible that Shampoo might try to use this to her advantage once Ranma was back and the truce was over.

He felt like pulling out his hair in frustration!

"Mr. Saotome?" Hinako's voice cut through his musings.

"Um, yes?" There were some snickers, he half-turned then caught sight of himself reflected in the windows. His hair was doing a reasonable impression of Goku's from Ranma's favorite manga. Quickly he patted it down and smiled a bit shamefacedly at Hinako.

"That's better, Mr. Saotome, but what about the assignment?"

"Assignment?" Barry blinked then remembered, 'Oh, that assignment!' He dug through his book bag to no avail. "Ummm… A Phoenix Mountain Bird man ate it?" he offered lamely. The look on Hinako's face was unique. "Uh, ha-ha! Make that a yakuza shinobi wannabe," he tried. He gulped as he saw her catch her fifty-yen coin between her fingers. "Just kidding!" he yelped. He dug frantically through his book bag yet again. "I did it! I know I did it!" he muttered.

"You were working with Mio," Akane reminded him. "She has the same assignment in Miss Hinako's sixth period class."

"You think Mio has it?" Barry groaned, "Go ahead, Miss H, I don't have it."

"Happo-go-en-satsu!"

He slumped to his desk, confident at least, that he could recover faster than anyone here. After yesterday's hysteria, a nap would be almost nice. He let his head turn toward the window as it bounced lightly off the desk surface, and thought it funny that it was raining on his desk while it was sunny outside… Raining? Dimly, he heard Miss Hinako ki-drain someone, probably the idiot who squirted her with water. She dreamily watched the clouds for a moment then turned her attention to the students on that side of the room.

As her eyes flickered across the girls, she noted that scent-wise, in girl-form, that musky perfume was there, but did not attract her. It was a relief to get away from the nagging chemical call. She watched the expressions of some of the boys. Hiroshi was looking at her, as were Kogara and Asaka. In her almost dreamlike state, she could appreciate how much Hiroshi had improved physically the past month. He and Daisuke had almost worked up to the requisite number of laps she set for them. She'd have to start thinking of something else physical to do, something stamina building. Hmmm… She wondered why her lips were dry. She painfully turned her head when something jabbed her in the ribs. Akane was looking at her crossly.

"What do you think you're doing, baka?" she whispered.

"Hmmm?" Barry examined Akane critically. She had a very strong, reassuring presence. "Wa—?"

"You…you're growling, or… something," Akane whispered by way of explanation. "Stop it before Hinako decides to drain you again!"

"Can't pump a dry hole," Barry muttered. She winced and rubbed her thighs together slightly. What an… unfortunate choice of words, especially this time of the month. "Maybe I should rephrase that," she muttered. Barry decided it was safer to look at Akane at the moment. She just hoped she didn't start yowling. No matter what she thought, Barry had to warn Akane, she decided, maybe at lunch.

At lunch, Mio was noticeable by her absence. Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo sat in a circle with their lunches and ate quietly.

"Hyena-girl act strange, lately. I miss her." Shampoo offered. She chewed quietly for a moment. "Maybe something wrong?"

"Why don't we pay her a visit?" suggested Ukyo.

Barry grimaced. "I can't go. If Sasuke's forgotten to disarm the traps again, my date will be history."

"I think this one likes Phys Ed," Akane mentioned in a hostile tone.

"Not another groupie," moaned Barry. "I hate this." He rested the heels of his hands against his temples. Just before lunch, Hiroshi showed him the edited pictures of Marller and let him know how much money they were making. He was starting to talk about a pet project this would fund when the girls dragged him away.

Ukyo shifted and leaned over to put another 'yaki before him. He jerked as the breeze brought her warmth and scent tickling across his senses. "Is there something wrong?" demanded Akane. "You've been acting weird all day."

"Nothing some nose plugs wouldn't help," he muttered.

"Well, excuse me!" snapped Ukyo. "I'm sorry I offend!"

"That's not the problem!" retorted Barry. "I'm… Hell! I can't say what the problem is!" He flushed, embarrassed.

Shampoo shook her head and ate some more curry chicken. "Everyone acting very strange," she commented.

"Look who's talking, cat-girl," snorted Ukyo. "You know I think you're the only person who ever pinched Akane's butt that wasn't a hospital case ten seconds later."

"Can we stop talking about that?" muttered Akane darkly.

"Why you talk so much about butt-pinching?" Shampoo asked in a flat tone. "You want pinch Akane's butt? Maybe you want Shampoo pinch spatula-girl's butt?"

"Children!" The girls, who had risen to their knees, subsided and looked sheepish. Barry sighed. "Urudu's on duty at least. She'll ask before zapping us." He looked thoughtfully at the girls, who avoided each other's gaze. "By the way, and I'm sorry I didn't ask about this at another time, but…" He gathered his courage. The way things were going this was a very bad time. "You girls were having some big discussion the other day when my date dragged me off. I asked Ryoga to referee, since you, Shampoo, were talking about obstacles." Shampoo looked down and nodded. The others indicated they knew what he was talking about. "He nearly got lost. The only thing he heard was Akane saying to you, Shampoo," Barry quickly looked around lowered his voice and continued, "um… 'I love you'." He leaned back. "What was that all about?"

"You mean especially because of this morning?" Akane asked, eyes narrowing. "Barry no baka!" She didn't hit him, but he felt as if it was only a momentary respite.

"I didn't mean anything perverted."

"Actually," Ukyo broke in, "I believe you. You've been nothing like I expected." She smiled and then spontaneously gave him a hug. "I believe you when you say you're trying to get Ranma back." She released him and blushed, sitting back as she heard the popping sounds normally associated with tendons and ligaments moving over bone, a sure danger sign around Akane. But, Akane wasn't doing it. Barry was.

He stood up suddenly and walked away with a strangled, "Excuse me!" trailing behind and eyes burning holes in his back.

"I do smell, don't I?" Ukyo almost wailed.

Akane, who was closest, shook her head. "Ukyo, it's not that." She thought a moment and surprisingly came up with a partially right answer. She sighed. "He told me a while back that you really remind him of his wife. He's been married ten years, and now he's… controlled himself for the last four months."

Shampoo giggled. "So Ukyo make nice-nice talk, hug Barry-baka…"

"You mean he was coming on to me?" Ukyo was aghast.

"Maybe he want find out if Ukyo's butt like wife's?"

"No," Akane struggled to hide a smile. "He left so he wouldn't come on to you." Her smile dropped. "And Ranma has been living for the last three months with Barry's wife, who is Barry's best friend." There was, again, the popping sound and added to it, the grinding of teeth as three girls contemplated Ranma having carte blanche with a married woman.

Their thoughts came to an abrupt interruption.

"Akane, my virtuous tigress! I have come to save you from the black hearted sorcerer, who hath thee in thrall by his dark arts!" (GLOMP!)

Kuno had been so good of late. He hadn't made a pass, hadn't spouted poetry, hadn't made stupid windy accusations. That, Akane rationalized, was why he had actually managed to grab her. Of course it wasn't because of the embarrassing conversation that had wound back to butt-pinching again. (Thump! Ka-POW! Whee-ee-ee-ee…) "That was a bad time to have a relapse, sempai!" Akane yelled, as her leg dropped back to the ground from an inspired kick.

Barry strode purposely away while he still could. If only he didn't have this damned acute sense of smell, he could manage! Oh, he could restrain himself from doing anything foolish, but the tempo of his reactions was so obviously off, a person in sensory deprivation would notice. He wondered why now…then nodded. Mio had promised today would be war, and this must be the start of it.

He considered Mio and her cards. For her to be so accurate, Cologne would have said she had to make at least a subconscious link to the other side, the realms of kami and onin, who were not limited by time. In discussions with Cologne, he had been given to understand that this alternate reality was as varied as their own, perhaps more so, with similar proportions of intelligent and unintelligent creatures, all of who were classed technically as tamashii. In that realm, creatures were rarely destroyed or killed. Depredations resulted in the reduction of one spirit to the benefit of the other. An analogy might be if a tiger, bringing down a goat, ate and when it was done; the remains became a fly or a rat or snake. The danger was that humans created extensions into that world. And for some reason, humans were very, very desirable due to the intensity and variety of their emotions. Creatures like Beldandy and Urd were willing to simply inspire and bask in these emotions, especially emotions of love, friendship, teamwork and joy. Marller, on the other hand, was organized to enjoy the other emotions, fear, pain, betrayal. Yet they stepped back and maintained a sort of 'hands off' attitude he didn't understand. Then there were creatures like the gaki-onin and the Nidhugg worm that literally ate away the spirit. Unfortunately, humans didn't simply degenerate into a lower form when they were victimized by a spiritual predator. They died.

Mio, if she was detected, or if her 'host' was attacked, or became aware and decided to attack her…

He wondered about that, concentrated on the subject to clear his mind of the chemical scent and unwanted feelings of desire. They hadn't gone into studying spiritualism much, but if ghosts were kami or onin, well, tamashii by any other name, who used their time-stream abilities to reflect a personality of a deceased person, it would explain a séance's need for a control or guardian spirit, as well as explain the Old Testament injunction against witches, referring to the witch of Endor and her ability to call forth the spirit of a dead Hebrew prophet for King Saul. The caller created a link between the worlds.

Suddenly his senses were flooded with that scent and a pair of arms clenched around his neck, pressing two warm mounds firmly to his chest. A leg reached behind his knee, as he froze in shock, tripping him back to land him on the ground, while drawing him closer. The sharp impact pushed the air out of his lungs, then a tornado of black rose petals swirled about as he sank into darkness. Faintly he heard, "OoHOHOHOhohohoho, ho! You're mine, at last, my Ranma-sama."

He came to slowly, drugged, numb and wrapped in chains. His arms were tied behind him; elbows pulled tight, lower arm taped liberally to lower arm, forcing his hands and the potential of release through neko-claws away from his body. A pole of some kind finished the job, fastened against his arms and his hands taped palm out against the pole to limit the wrists' rotation. His ankles were shackled to two concrete blocks and he was…

…on the diving board of the Furinkan swimming pool? What the hell was going on?

He tuned in to his ki-vision, or tried. It was extremely difficult. He could barely make out two forms standing near him, one obviously Kodachi, ki as weirdly twisted as when he came to this world. The other… Sasuke? It was hard to tell. Something moved and he became aware of a third figure, but it was very difficult to see, having a texture and quality similar to the area by the docks or the warehouse in Yokohama but amplified, until trying to observe it was giving his ki-vision blind spots. With a start, he realized that she was the reason he was having difficulty identifying Sasuke. She had done something to him.

Kodachi noticed the jerk. "Are we awake, darling?" she cooed.

"Oh, man!" Barry looked her over again and his heart sank. "Oh, Kodachi!" He felt like crying.

She stiffened and her hand went to her face, touching her own cheeks as if she expected to feel his tears there. Then her hand dropped gracefully, artfully, and the Black Rose was back again. "This time, I'll have you forever and ever, my Ranma-sama," she sighed. Barry forced himself to turn his vision toward the third and most dangerous person there.

Marller stood, hands on hips, gazing at him dispassionately, as if he were an interesting bug she was trying to decide how to pin to a board. Her physical appearance was European, a look similar to Marlene Dietrich, and her mode of dress was much more subdued today, a loose violet blouse and stirrup pants of a soft green fabric vanishing into calf-high, stiletto-heel boots. He smirked.

Happosai does tend to make you more cautious, doesn't he? he jibed in English.

Marller scowled. "Fool me once…" she said in the same language.

"Good credo." He watched her shudder, and remembered the root words of 'good' and 'credo'. "Bless you!" he added cheerfully.

She laughed at him. "Using words like that as a weapon for selfish means negates their effect," she gloated. She strutted, her boots clicking on the concrete.

"But Beldandy told me she cared for you."

"Shut up!" Marller held her hands over her ears for a moment, and straightened. She pulled out a roll of tape and ripped off a strip about twenty centimeters long.

"You're really popular with the Furinkan boys right now," Barry said quickly, trying to delay whatever they were up to.

Marller stopped, her brows rising quizzically. "How so?"

"Let's just say your image is very popular around the school right now."

She blinked, frowned then her eyes went wide in understanding. "Those boys…"

"Yup! Hiro called the picture 'Bad Biker Babe'… Mmmrhp!"

Marller slapped the tape on. She stood up and grinned at him. She began to laugh. Barry shuddered. There was an almost familial resemblance of that laugh to Kodachi's. The Black Rose began to laugh with Marller. Birds burst out of the trees in panic, small animals scurried away in horror, dogs and cats, going about their business in range of that laughter, cowered and hid. Sasuke stood calm and impassive as a post.

"I just don't understand why my teasing bugs you so much, Shampoo," Ukyo said as they quartered the neighborhood, searching for some sign of Barry. "So you pinched Akane's butt…"

"Will everyone leave my butt alone?" growled Akane.

"I will protect thy perfect derriere, my love—Ooof!" Kuno finished his comment with a guttural cry caused by Akane's well-directed punch. They loped on.

"Jerk!" Shampoo and Akane muttered in unison. Ukyo laughed.

"If it bugs you so much," the chef said slyly, "just let her pinch you back!"

"Ukyo!" Shampoo snapped. Akane sighed and shook her head. Shampoo looked uncertainly at Akane and suddenly doubtful. "Akane, should I…"

"No!" bellowed Akane, "I don't want to pinch your butt!" They suddenly looked around. About fifty people were staring at them with various expressions of interest. Ukyo rocked with silent laughter as the other two girls went red and stared at their shoes. Embarrassed, they left quickly, Ukyo whooping along behind them.

After about five minutes, Shampoo asked in a small defensive voice, "Is something wrong with Shampoo's butt?"

"Will everyone stop talking about butts?" Akane covered her ears, face flaming. She was utterly mortified and for some reason this conversation just wouldn't go away! She was beginning to wonder if those stupid porno movies the Amazons had used for foreign-husband-hunter training hadn't rotted certain areas of Shampoo's brain. It didn't help that she was, perhaps, slightly curious as to exactly what went on in them.

"Better say arse?" Shampoo piped in.

"Aaugh!"

Barry looked down at the steaming surface of the swimming pool. He still didn't know what was going on, but had the impression it involved dumping him in the pool. To say he was unhappy was an understatement. He wondered how the demon managed to convince Kodachi, even at her looniest, that drowning him would catch Ranma for her. Unable to speak because of the tape, he waggled his eyebrows desperately.

"Oh, Ranma," Kodachi gushed. "Perhaps you wonder how drowning you will bring us together, my darling?" He nod-nodded. If she were talking, he wasn't drowning.

"It's simplicity itself! I have learned how to make a true Jusenkyo spring!" Barry stared. "Because of your unique problem with being already cursed, I've been forced to make a 'Hot Pool of the Drowned Ranma'," Kodachi said brightly. "Soon Sasuke will sacrifice himself, so that you and I can be together the rest of our lives!"

"To be strictly accurate," Marller muttered with a smile, "I promised you'd have him the rest of your life, Black Rose."

"Indeed, Mother," Kodachi assented. "The rest of my life! Though what need my darling would have to live after me, I have no idea!"

"Ah oo illy er mofr?" Barry mumbled past the tape. Marller smiled and hugged Kodachi, an action that brought chills up Barry's spine. She shook her head, though, ever so slightly negative. Barry's mind was whirling. If Kodachi had actually managed it, that meant she could make cures for all their Jusenkyo curses! The Ranma he had come to know might try to trick Kodachi out of a cure, but she could never win… His thoughts flashed over a conversation the last time he had seen her.

…"Just a little project of mine, Shampoo!" Kodachi said brightly. She glanced sidewise at Barry. "Something to help my friends." She smiled then and almost skipped away, leaving some very unsettled people behind her.

"I wonder what she's up to?" asked Akane. "I mean... Kodachi's nicer these days, but I'm not sure I want involved in her attempts to help me…."

Barry slumped. To do what she claimed would have taken months, if not years, even for someone as brilliant as Kodachi in Biochemistry. Now, all her work and good intentions was being twisted by this… His eyes blazed into Marller's.

"Oh! How perfect," the demon said. "Now, you understand!" She gestured, and Kodachi obediently cut the rope, dropping him into the depths of the pool.

"Is everyone here?" Hiroshi stood on the bleachers above the sports field. Beside him was Daisuke, and below them were about forty or fifty boys, mostly seniors and a few graduates from the past year's class. "Sorry!" he added realizing how inane that sounded. "Okay! We will be handing these forms to those who didn't remember to bring theirs." He waved said forms in the air. "We want you to fill them out, truthfully, then hold on to them until it's time for your audition. You will line up to the right as you complete your forms, and the auditions will be on a first come…" There were snickers. "…basis. Do you all understand?" There seemed to be a general consensus, so Hiroshi and Daisuke began passing out the forms. An errant breeze blew a couple away, but that didn't matter. There were plenty to go around. A few latecomers did show up, and hearing the directions second-hand, got their own forms and began lining up.

"All right!" Hiroshi began. "Dai? Take notes!" He handed Daisuke the first young man's form.

"Why do I have to take notes?" whined Daisuke. "You have better calligraphy."

Hiroshi considered. "All right." He took the form and sat down. "I'll take notes, you confirm the measurements." He handed Dai a tailor's tape measure.

Daisuke blinked, took the tape, then looked at the form again. "All the measurements?" he asked a little dangerously.

"Of course," Hiroshi said in a businesslike manner. "How else are we going to determine who's falsified their information?"

"Excuse me, but I am not touching another guy's… thing."

The girls settled down to a semi-serious search. They all remembered Mio's predictions and in particular, looked for hordes of gathering ninja, Monster Taro (he hadn't been seen in a while), Happosai, any of the crowd from yesterday coming back, large groups of semi-naked women or men running furiously down the street in pursuit of or being chased by a pig-tailed boy or girl, dragons, abominable snowmen, 17th century samurai, aliens clad in tiger striped bikinis… but so far everything seemed normal. They were beginning to get very nervous.

And Shampoo and Ukyo were spending some of the time teasing Akane, who suffered from a severe lack of humor due in part from severe Amazon envy.

"So… Now that you've had the opportunity of first-hand experience, Shampoo, whose butt is better?" Ukyo drawled, watching Akane stomp on ahead of them.

"Which?" Shampoo thought a moment. "Shampoo like Ranma's butt better." She paused a moment, then added, "Boy-type, of course." They watched Akane's shoulders begin to relax. "Ranma girl-type butt not bad, but Akane's is bigger."

"What did you say?" Akane turned on them and all three stopped. She stomped over and screamed at them. "I can't believe you said that! Why are you picking on me?"

"But it's fun to pick on you, Akane," Ukyo said levelly. "You get so bent out of shape, it makes it worthwhile.

"It like martial arts, Akane," Shampoo said. "Make opponent angry; opponent lose. Akane need work on controlling temper, yes?"

Akane sputtered, then subsided. She measured them both with a steely gaze. "All right. I admit you have a point; I shouldn't take things so seriously." She took a deep breath. "But you two — three if you count Kodachi — have always been the cute fiancées, or the pretty fiancées, while I've been labeled the lesbian fiancée." Shampoo and Ukyo lost their smiles. "It was especially galling since every boy at Furinkan was chasing me up till then."

"I sorry, Akane," Shampoo said. "Amazon sister tease all time like this."

"Me too, Akane," Ukyo added. "I guess I lost my sense of feminine modesty going to boy's schools all those years." She looked at the ground. "Ya know I don't socialize much with working Ucchan's. I guess I stepped over the line there."

Akane nodded and stepped up to them. Very briefly, they went into a group hug of mutual apology.

"Everything okay, now?" Shampoo asked as they broke from the hug.

"Almost," Akane said nodding. She looked quickly around.

"Almost?" Ukyo asked. "What's— wooOP!"

"Yeek!" exclaimed Shampoo. Both girls twisted in midair and landed about three meters away, rubbing abused posteriors.

"Now, it's okay," said Akane smiling.

"But I didn't pinch anybody's butt!" Ukyo complained.

"No, but you instigated, " Akane replied primly.

"She mean," Shampoo injected, "you want get your pinch in, must move faster."

"Close enough," Akane confirmed, "And by the way, Shampoo, your butt is just fine." In the sudden silence she turned and walked back toward Furinkan. Over her shoulder she called back, "Let's get a move on! Mio said it was going to be bad today."

Ukyo rubbed her butt and grumbled, "I can't believe Akane pinched my butt! I'm gonna have bruises!"

Shampoo snorted. "Who you show them to?" Ukyo froze then nodded sheepishly. "Me? I go home to Nekohanten, Mousse use ki-vision all time now. Then he want know who pinch Shampoo's butt!"

"Oh, brother!"

"Will you guys get a move on?" yelled Akane from up ahead.

"We're coming!" Ukyo bellowed back. Then, as they ran to catch up, she asked Shampoo, "So what will he do when you tell him Akane pinched you?"

Shampoo shrugged easily. "Who knows? Probably think about it, get nose bleed and pass out!"

As Ukyo coughed in reaction, Shampoo called out to Akane, "Pervert-girl, which butt better? Shampoo, Ranma… or Ukyo?"

"Shampoo!" whined Ukyo and the teasing switched to a new victim.

They ran into Kuno again, not far from the athletic field.

"His mad attempts to separate us have come to naught!" the kendoist pontificated. "Come to me, my love! Urf!" His last remark came from Akane's foot planted firmly in his face. "That didn't hurt," he mumbled.

"Baka!" Akane growled. "What's wrong with you? You haven't acted this way in weeks."

"Indeed?" Have I then neglected my duties as the protector of all things beautiful and innocent within the boundaries of Nerima?" The back of his hand came up dramatically to shade his eyes. "Surely, fair flower of the Tendos, if I did, must it surely have been due to a spell the evil Saotome cast, blasting my consciousness and sending me…"

"Put a sock in it, baka!" Ukyo growled then shook her head. "We don't have time for this." They moved to go around him. He intercepted them, whipped out his bokken and posed dramatically.

"Nay! Let it not be said that I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder, champion kendoist of Furinkan and rising star of the athletic world, would let such fair flowers pass without protection, for methinks from thy stern bearing and beauteous yet serious expressions, that surely thou art in chivalrous pursuit of a quest. So long as I posses my keen eyes…"

At that moment, a piece of paper carried on the breeze smacked the ranting maniac in the face. He paused, as the bit of pulped cloth and wood temporarily blinded the eyes about which he was ranting. At his frown, the three girls peeked at the paper.

Audition Today!

Where: the Furinkan Sports Arena

When: 4:30 P.M.

Purpose: To search for dynamic, athletic and durable men to costar in proposed film Vixen of Furinkan in the proud tradition of Vixen of Kyoto. Proposed film will feature Ranma Saotome, Akane Tendo and Xian Pu of the Joketsuzoku. Only exceptional men will be considered. Come prepared to offer physical data, as well as past experience and references, if available.

Below was a tiny anatomically correct picture of a man, with dotted lines corresponding to numbers. Along the side of the page, the numbers matched up to labeled lines for physical measurements: Chest, bicep, waist, thigh, calf, …

"They want measurements for what!" yelped Akane.

Kuno, suddenly realizing she was reading over his shoulder, crumpled the page violently, his hands trembling. "Akane, for a fair flower such as yourself, surely it would shock you beyond all sensibilities…"

"Shut up, Kuno!" Akane growled. "That piece of paper had my name on it!" She ripped it from his hand.

"Oh, Akane," he cried. "To think thou wouldst perform on such a stage without me! And with that foulest of creatures!" As he ranted on, the girls took a better look at the paper.

"Dynamic, athletic and durable men," read Ukyo.

"In the proud tradition of Vixen of Kyoto," read Akane.

"Will feature Ranma, Akane and Shampoo," summarized the Amazon. "Shampoo no remember say yes to movie." She did a double take. "Aiya! Vixen of Kyoto is very perverted film!"

"That one from your training?" Ukyo gasped, suddenly piecing it together. Shampoo nodded.

Akane looked appalled. She glanced savagely at her watch and growled, "It's going on right now! Barry is going to have to wait! We can't let this go."

"Wait, Akane!" Shampoo had a nasty smile on her face. She turned to Kuno. "Stick-boy, you listen close! Pervert-boys no get permission to say Akane or Shampoo in film. They just bad and want romp! Also, Ranma on paper not Ranma-sorcerer! Is Ranma, pigtailed girl! Boys steal both pigtailed girl and Akane from Blue Thunder! Not even invite you for tryout! What you say?"

Kuno purpled. He gaped and waved his bokken erratically. He stammered. Finally regaining his tongue, he bellowed, "Surely, such evil shall not be! They shall not prevail! My loves will yet be mine with which to demonstrate my manly prowess!" He rushed off in the direction of the playing field.

"There," Shampoo said smugly. "Stick-boy beat on other pervert-boys while we look for Ranma! Is too-too easy! Yes?"

Ukyo looked distressed. "I know it sounds stupid but…" She fought with herself. "Why wasn't my name on the list with Ranma-honey?"

"I'm sure if you ask, they'll give you a tryout, Ukyo!" Akane drawled sarcastically. Suddenly she froze. "Oh, my god!"

"What is it, sugar?" Ukyo was surprised by her sudden change of tone.

"This is it!" exclaimed Akane. "We almost missed it!"

"What?" Shampoo asked.

"Mio's full scale war!" She pointed after Kuno. "It's that way! It's gotta be!"

"Well, then…" Ukyo began, filling her lungs for the shout and reaching for her mega-spatula.

"CHARGE!" three feminine voices screamed out as they tore off after Kuno.

Barry hit the bottom of the pool with a dull thud. He was still too drugged to use his ki. Faintly, through the water, he could hear them up there.

"How long before we pull him out, mother?" Kodachi asked.

"Not yet, dear," the demon said smoothly. "Besides, we forgot to put the rope on him. I'm sure Sasuke can retrieve him once he jumps in."

Barry felt his heart pounding. A buzzing filled his ears. A tightness in his chest suggested that his air was almost gone, as the carbon dioxide demanded he exhale and seek a fresh supply. But there was none and his vision was beginning to blur and…