Guest Ki: Chapter 54
Life Lessons
"SAOTOME!" The minister in the white suit holding a book retained his large smile. Barry felt a bit pleased when the fellow's eyes rolled up in his head and he went straight over backwards like a board. "Is there something you'd like to tell me?" roared the purplish tongue-waving apparition.
To say Genma was shocked was an understatement. He boggled at Soun and skittered back, bumping into a table with cheap wine for toasting newlyweds and was quickly panda-ed. Barry nudged Akane and pointed to the panda in the remains of a hammer-tailed tux. Faintly, she smiled.
Barry was terribly pleased now. Akane had smiled! That would make Ranma happy… Oh, yeah, he was back home with Gwen. His head hurt. God, he would love to see Gwen's smile again, feel her in his arms. Soun's demon-head swayed toward him. "When did this happen?"
"Ah bin mah-married ten years thish Septem-bem-ber 19th." He nodded, held up his left hand and frowned. He looked around him. Where did his ring go? Oh, yeah, Ranma has that, too.
Soun's demon head collapsed in astonishment. "Ten… years…?"
He turned furiously to Genma-panda, who ducked behind a table and waved a sign, proclaiming, I don't know what he's talking about! (twirl) Honest!
"It's that Kuonji girl, isn't it!" Soun demanded. He was shocked when Ranma grinned and shook his finger. "It isn't? Who is it, then?" Soun glared at Akane's fiancé.
Genma came over now that, at least temporarily, Soun was focusing his anger on someone else. Besides, now that he thought about it, he hadn't done anything like that. Ranma would have been what, seven? He hadn't realized his boy was that precocious!
"Goodness!" came a shaky voice. White-coat sat up suddenly. "I must be working too hard. By my authority, invested…"
"Shut up!"
(GROWF!) Shut up!
Demon-head and sign wielding panda were more than enough to convince him to sleep some more. Behind them, the canned, marital music looped and started again.
"Who. Is. It!" growled Soun. Ranma blinked at him owlishly and smiled conspiratorially.
"Isha secret." He nodded. "A'hm a secret," he added then giggled. "If-if'n you know to-o-o-o much, ah'll hafta kill ya." He finished this announcement with a grating, evil sounding chuckle and drew his finger across his throat, making a 'geee-e-eeK' sound. Akane stood beside him in her rented wedding gown, smiling and nodding blankly.
That powder doesn't seem to be working as advertised, Tendo, signed Genma, tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention. (twirl!) It's making him hallucinate!
"I don't understand, Saotome. Akane seems fine."
"So I now pronounce you wan and mife, you may now bish the kride." The minister was sitting up again, more than a little rattled and very, very confused. He looked around, started to open his mouth and…
"Will you just get out of here!" Soun demon-headed him again, while inches away an impressive set of teeth threatened him from a furry black and white visage. He fainted again.
"Amazing how rude people can be, isn't it, Saotome?" Soun said, turning back. "Uh… Where did the children go?"
Barry ran through the night for all he was worth, Akane cradled in his arms. That had been close! He thought a moment. Whatever it had been, that had been close! Now he had to… do something… He wasn't sure what, but something. He heard voices calling out his name but hid from them, suddenly frightened of what they planned. He was… He had to go…home! That was it! He had to go home. What was he carrying? He looked down.
Akane had tucked her head in against Barry's chest, in part because he was staggering and bumping off things. Under the influence of the hypnotic, her mind was clear enough, but they had been ordered by her father, moments ago, not to say anything unless prompted. She had been shocked when Barry had started to speak, then glad that yes, he had been prompted and thank kami, was going to stop this mess. She looked up when he stopped, but didn't speak. She couldn't without prompting. She tried to think Barry into prompting her.
"Yer…ar not Gwen?"
Yes! A question! "No, I'm Akane." Drat! The question's parameters were too small. What else could she say? "I'm Ranma's fiancée!"
"Ranma." Akane's lips felt frozen as Barry fumbled with his thoughts. She and Barry had prepared to leave the club per Shampoo's instructions when Soun and Genma had volunteered to escort them. Barry had been heavy on her shoulder. Genma and Soun had smiled as they left the club and quickly redirected them to a taxi. The taxi had taken them to the chapel.
Barry had been in and out of consciousness the entire time. Why couldn't they see he was in trouble? Her fuzzy attempts at explaining her concern had been met with condescending 'Hush, dear's' from father, which she had to obey! They had staggered into the all-night chapel. It was so over-decorated that its days were probably numbered if Azusa Shiratori ever saw it. Her heart had sunk as the minister had called them in for the service. This was wrong! It should be Ranma! Her father told her to smile, but at least she had control, to some degree, of that!
Then Barry had unexpectedly dropped his bombshell, and they had escaped. But Barry was still not at all in control and neither, really, was she. "Ranma…" Barry repeated. "Yer Akane. Hafta pertect ya for Ranma… Yeah." He startled, hearing voices again, and ran away, carrying her in his arms. "Where? Where can we go?" she heard him mutter.
"Home! The Tendo dojo!" she said quickly. He frowned at her. Why didn't he move?
"Wha' if Hap-Hap-Happosai's there?" he asked. "Not safe."
"All right. The Nekohanten," she suggested.
"No! Yer an obsta… obstinate? No, no… Obsta-tickle. Shampoo'd kill ya."
"Ucchan's?"
"Didja see wha' sh' did at da weddin'?" he asked. "No way!"
Akane would've screamed if she hadn't been under the drug. Barry was acting paranoid. She had to get him to help, but how? "Barry, what about Auntie Nodoka's?" She surprised herself. Was the drug wearing off? She quickly found she couldn't initiate things, but she could still respond to unresolved questions. She watched the emotions play across his face.
Finally, he nodded. "Nodoka's." He turned, looking for landmarks. "Whish way?" she heard him mutter. She pointed. He took about half a dozen wobbling steps and dropped to his knees. He looked at her almost blindly now; sweat beading his forehead despite the evening chill. "We need to ge' goin' to Nodoka," he said, as if the words alone could get him to his feet again. The words unlocked the bonds on Akane a bit more. She scooped him up, not an easy thing for an under-fifty-kilo girl to do with nearly eighty kilos of boy.
"Akane?"
"I can take it from here," she grunted and began to run.
Natsume glared at her little sister. Kurumi glared right back. Sparks were flying.
"You will stay here," Natsume said tightly, "with Kasumi!"
"I'm looking for Ranma and Akane with you and the others!" came the hot, aggressive reply. "The longer we argue, the longer it'll be till I come along anyway."
"Kurumi!"
"Make up your minds!" snapped Mousse, standing with a hand to his head, as if he were getting a migraine. "They're moving again."
"Can you pick up Tendo or the panda?" Ukyo growled. "They have some explaining to do."
"This is the last straw!" Nodoka said, tightly gripping the silk-wrapped shaft of the Saotome katana. "I am through with dearest shattering their lives again and again."
"I was right! They stopped at that new all night wedding chapel towards mid-town," Nabiki called from the door to the house. Everyone sighed. Shampoo looked distinctly cross and snappish. "Whoever I talked to was awfully concerned about demons and pandas anyway."
"They're getting closer," Mousse announced. He began to pivot. "They're passing by us…"
"Where airen and pervert-girl go?" snapped Shampoo. Her face was set in stone.
"Shampoo," Cologne said quietly. "Remember how you got into this mess to begin with. Be patient and listen to everyone very carefully."
"What Great-grandmother mean?" Shampoo followed the line of Mousse's pointing arm. She wished she could do the tracking technique, but hadn't picked it up yet.
"You gave a 'kiss of death' in a fit of pique and have been cursed and outcast for two years now. You knew it was optional, but had to act the tough traditionalist," Cologne knocked her pipe out against her staff and began to refill it. "You thought Barry might be drugged and your description certainly seems to confirm it. You believe Akane, with the help of Genma and Soun, kidnapped him?"
Shampoo nodded angrily. "Akane no drugged! Must be part of plot."
"Dear, can you really imagine Akane being underhanded that way?" Cologne chuckled. "Or that she would consider marrying Ranma with Barry still inhabiting his body, a way to gain a better hold on Ranma when he came back?" Shampoo looked confused. "I could perhaps imagine Barry doing that to Akane if he was planning to stay, but the other way around?" She sighed and sparked the pipe to life with projective ki. "Don't do or say anything you would regret, child. Let's find them and sort things out peacefully… at least till we know what's going on."
"Their signal has steadied down." Mousse continued to point. "That way."
"How far?" asked Nodoka sharply.
"You can't really tell with this technique," Mousse apologized. "But I'd say not too far. Why?"
"By rooftop, that's the direction my house is in," Nodoka said thinly.
"Let's go, then," Shampoo said.
"Everyone stick together and cover each other!" called out Cologne.
Ukyo eyed her. "What for?"
"Barry is under the influence of a drug, yet has all of Ranma's power. Do I really need to elaborate?" She hopped up on her staff and leaped for the fence and from there to the dojo roof. The party moved off into the night.
Ten or fifteen minutes later, two bedraggled figures in torn tuxes stumbled through the dojo gate. They carefully closed the gate then wove their way up the path to the front door.
"It's a good thing we found that tea shop still open, Saotome! Panda fur is particularly rank when it's wet. I wonder where everyone is?" Soun mumbled. "I'd think they'd be home by now. Oh! Kasumi? Ha, ha-ha!"
"Kasumi! How nice to see you so late." Genma and Soun were confronted by the solemn faced young woman and began to sweat. Kasumi did not look happy. In fact, Kasumi looked peeved. Kasumi, gentle Kasumi, was holding a shinai with the same authority with which Nodoka normally handled her katana.
"Father. Uncle Saotome." The greeting did not lighten the atmosphere. Genma felt being a panda would be a good idea, but didn't dare move. "Where are Ranma and Akane?"
"Umm… Weren't they going to the Nekohanten?" offered Soun, looking away. "Isn't that what…"
"They never reached the Nekohanten!" Kasumi said firmly. "You went with them, remember?" The shinai tapped lightly across her arm. "We already know about the chapel."
Soun and Genma froze and not only because of the revelation of her knowledge. From behind Kasumi glided Ninomiya Hinako, coin in hand. Soun met her eyes and shriveled. There was a lot of contempt in those beautiful eyes.
Hinako's throaty voice laid down the law. "You two will tell us everything you have done, where Ranma and Akane are and how you plan to possibly atone for this breech of moral and ethical standards."
Akane wheezed a bit as she set Barry down on the stoop. The door was locked. She patted his pockets looking for a key. Surely he had a key? If he did, he was using hidden weapons for it, because she couldn't find it, and was totally unwilling to search under his clothes in case she was wrong. As she searched, she felt a faint mist seem to spring up, and realized it was beginning to rain.
It took only seconds until Ranma's curse was activated and a redhead lay sprawled beside the door. She jerked as Ranma's girl form suddenly curled around herself and cried out in pain. Akane dropped to her knees and pulled the smaller form close, ignoring the fact that the tattered rentals were getting muddy.
"Barry," in her own ears, her voice was slow and thick, "what's wrong?"
"It hurts!" the feminine tones grated past clenched teeth. "I don't…" She cried out again. "Gwen, it hurts. I'm sorry!"
Akane gulped. Barry didn't openly use his wife's name very often, usually only in his sleep. She shook the slight form lightly, but it was like shaking a rock, so tightly were the muscles locked. Tight, gasping breaths were beginning to come, forced past teeth and through lips locked in a grimace of pain. The blue eyes went wide, as did her mouth, and the panting was growing worse.
'Don't do anything unless you're told to.' She couldn't even use her ki! She struggled against the inhibitions, beginning to cry in helplessness. Akane felt the sudden presence behind her. Her head snapped around. Forms moved toward her out of the dark. For an instant, she was in the park again, as the boys approached a young girl…
Shampoo came out of the darkness in a rush, her arms closing about them both. "Akane! What is wrong? Why Barry…?"
"He's drugged! Something else besides what you said. It's hurting him!" She gasped out. Suddenly hands were lifting them both and carrying them into the house. She had a blurred impression of Nodoka turning on lights and rushing for the first aid kit she kept in the kitchen. Cologne was checking Barry's eyes for response and dilation. She poked a few points on the girl's straining body then frowned and poked them again. She frowned and waved away Natsume and Kurumi when they pressed too close.
"Akane, Shampoo, watch the ki lines for me!" They focused and she prodded. "Is there any change?" she demanded. They shook their heads. "He's already maxed-out then." She stroked her hand along the taut body, ignoring the groans and panting. "Stupid! Get me some hot water, fast!" Mousse jerked and rushed for the kitchen, almost running over Nodoka who was coming the other way with the first aid kit and a kettle. "Not you, boy!" Cologne called out at the frantically dodging man. Somehow, he and Nodoka negotiated one another. She poured and watched the girl shudder out into the young man. The body relaxed somewhat.
"He's simply passed out," Cologne commented. "Best thing, under the circumstances. She hopped over to Akane and took her chin in her hands. She gave her a thorough visual examination and directed Shampoo's attention to her pupils. "See how dilated the eyes are, dear? It's one of the signs of the hypnotic I used on Ranma after the pool incident. If you notice, Akane has also been affected. He doesn't show the other symptoms because they've been masked and altered by this other drug."
"How did he get both in his system?" Nodoka stood tense and angry beside her son.
"Probably much the way Shampoo deduced, dear," Cologne replied. "Some young man with enough money to buy this new bit of poison on the market and the arrogance to believe he could get away with using it." She sighed. "There's nothing we can do except alleviate some of the symptoms and try to keep him comfortable till it's through his system." Shampoo nodded and knelt beside him to monitor his condition. "Be particularly watchful of the condition of the liver, dear. He loses that; the kindest thing we can do is give him a quick death." She scowled. "He's strong. He should pull through this, though it could take days."
At Akane's gasp, she turned toward her and quickly tapped two points, one on her neck and one at the back of her head. "That will let you act normally till the drug wears off."
"Oh, Auntie Nodoka!" Akane suddenly threw herself in the older woman's arms. "I tried to tell them something was wrong! I tried!"
Nodoka tried to shift her katana somewhere so that she could reciprocate the hug and comfort Akane. Finally, she handed it to Ukyo before patting the short dark hair and stroking the tattered white gown. "There, there, dear. I'm sure you did your best. Can you tell us what happened?"
Akane recounted the evening's activities as best she could. Because she had been so focused on trying to break the hypnotic's control, she only skimmed the surface after they arrived at the chapel. "…and when the minister asked if there was any reason we should not be," she summarized, "Barry said he was married already!" She laughed through her tears and heard astonished noises from those present. "P-poor Father was fit to be tied and blamed Uncle Saotome right away. He demon-headed him and scared the minister half to death."
"I'm afraid this is going to be dearest's last mistake in this family," Nodoka said, going quiet and deadly. "I can't trust him around his own daughters or any possible grandchildren to come." Suddenly, it was Akane comforting Nodoka, as she saw no way out of her predicament than calling Genma on his honor.
Shampoo half rose from her kneeling position beside Ranma's body. "Great-grandmother!" Her voice was sharp. Something was happening.
Soun was floating. It wasn't terribly unpleasant, though the loss of control was unsettling. The worst part was Ninomiya-child sitting firmly at the table, ignoring him as if he were some unpleasant bit of dirt that had blown by. He wept softly. They hadn't even gotten the two married! It was all for nothing. And now Miya would hate him forever. The phone rang and he heard the murmur of Kasumi talking in the kitchen.
He considered. Maybe he could get some more of the drug and get Genma to hypnotize him into not caring. His heart felt like it was being crushed! But wouldn't it be better than this pain?
His ears were still alert, and he heard Kasumi's sudden sob. His Kasumi? Crying? He struggled to lift his head, but it felt like hours were passing. He realized Miya had heard it, too. She had risen to her feet and skipped into the kitchen at the sound and he heard them whispering. Then the outside kitchen door opened and there was a dull 'BOOOM!' as Ninomiya released the ki she retained. After a moment, they returned to the main room. An adult Hinako supported Kasumi gently, as if she were somehow fragile and not the mainstay of the Tendo household. Kasumi stood hunched, as if in pain, her smile wooden and lifeless.
"Kasumi?" he whispered.
"F-f-father…" She broke into tears.
"What's going on," Nabiki asked in a worried voice from the hall.
Soun and Genma burst through the front door of the Saotome residence to find the lighting dim and the room strangely quiet. The house was crowded, but no one looked up at their entrance. They were focused on two forms on the table, laid out with hands clasped on their breasts in a death-like stillness. In the weird silence, Kurumi's muffled wails could be heard from the room above, while Natsume stood quietly next to Ryu, and Shampoo and Ukyo seemed to cling for mutual comfort. Ryoga and Mousse leaned against a wall, their faces studies of anger and contempt. Beside the table, Nodoka knelt, cold steel across the silk of her kimono. Across from her crouched Cologne. On the table, lay Ranma in girl-type, in the rumpled stained tux, and Akane in the remains of her muddy wedding dress. Their faces looked strange, waxy. Everyone looked strange, in fact as if they were…
…attending a funeral.
Soun sobbed and Genma sank stunned to his knees. "W-what happened?" The latter asked. No one seemed to notice them at all in the eerie stillness.
"You happened," came a voice out of nowhere. It wasn't Ranma's voice, but was strangely similar. Genma looked around, shaking. "Why?" the voice asked.
"Why?" Genma echoed. Indeed, and why was everything so still?
Feminine tones cracked out, hollow and distant, "Why did you do this to us?"
"A-akane?" Soun blinked. That second voice sounded like his daughter, but she lay there on the table looking d-d-d…
"Couldn't you understand?" disembodied voices said, quiet, sad.
"Oh, gods!" Soun gulped sinking to his knees now. "What have we done?"
"But, how?" begged Genma. "How did this happen?"
"Does it matter? If this is the end, does it matter?" Akane's voice again, shaking with emotion.
"No! No! I didn't want this!" wailed Soun. "My baby. You needed Ranma! But you wouldn't stop fighting! You wouldn't see what was in each others eyes!"
"How many times did ya jump in and push, when we were takin' our first steps?" Ranma's voice crackled with contempt as it spoke. "Didn't ya see the harder ya pushed us together, the faster we flew apart?"
"Why?" whispered Akane's voice.
"When I lost your mother, I died!" sobbed Soun. "Only you kept me alive, you and your sisters, being there, needing me, even as bad as I was. I felt you were most like me, Akane. I saw you beginning to love him. I knew how you would feel when he was gone. Every fight has tested him to his limits. I thought…I hoped you would have something of him when he was gone, even as I had something of your mother in you." He spoke into the floorboards now, sobbing and grief-stricken. Soft sobs seemed to echo from some other plane.
"Genma Saotome." Genma jerked as that near-Ranma voice singled him out again. "Why?"
"Why?" Genma knelt as Soun did, but his voice seemed tired and thoughtful rather than grief-stricken. "I was greedy. I was stupid. I was unlucky, too, I suppose. Maybe I'm cursed. I've always managed to destroy what was best in my life, or run away from it."
"Why?"
"Does it matter, now?" He sighed. "I put the powder in their drinks. I had my doubts about the idea, but…" He didn't finish.
"But what?" Genma stared at the floor, his jaw working.
"I talked him into it," Soun sobbed. "I got the powder and tried to drug Ranma at the school dance. I wanted him to propose to Akane in front of all the students. I drank his drink by accident, then Ninomiya…" He gulped. "It seemed perfect. I pushed Saotome to help me."
Genma jerked. Soun's eyes were on the floor, but he had seen everyone's head swivel to focus on them. His threat senses were off-scale before, but now…!
"What would you give to have them back?"
Soun's sobs stopped. Genma's hair was standing on end. That had been a real voice, Ranma's girl-type voice. Their eyes bugged out as the two on the table rose as if jointed only at the waist, twisted, stood and began to tread slowly toward them. The waxen skin glistened in the dim light.
"Akane," Soun breathed and would have run even to this zombie-esque version of her, but Genma stopped him.
"Get back, Tendo!" he snapped. "I don't know what's going on, but you still have Kasumi and Nabiki. Get out of here!" He shouted as the pair came on while the watching mourners sat still as stone. His skin crawled as the cursed form that had tormented his son, and haunted and betrayed his own dreams for so long, came into reach. He struck!
"Leave him alone!" he bellowed. Despite his best efforts, he was soon on his back struggling, held by the Ranma and Akane zombies in skillful submission holds. "Leave Soun alone, dammit!" He heaved to little effect.
"Whew! He wasn't holding anything back, was he?" Akane-zombie commented.
"Nope! He was fooled. And, I think, scared enough to understand that what he did was wrong," agreed the waxen lips of girl-type Ranma. Some of the wax fell off and landed on Genma's face. Genma stopped struggling and stared. The face smiled and more wax flaked off, leaving healthy-looking skin behind. The lights came up, and he could see the girl's eyes, glittering and alive. "Gotcha!" she murmured to him.
Genma was pouting and Soun was stewing in a funk. The former had been so unnerved by the unexpected ploy that he had almost ignored Nodoka's brusque manner with him. Soun could only hold Akane in his arms and cry. Her own annoyance had given way to pity and she was patting his shoulder, trying to reassure him that she was alive.
Kurumi was livid. She had been wailing at the top of her lungs because her sister didn't trust her not to give away the surprise. Natsume tied her to a beam in the bedroom upstairs and gagged her. This was after she tried to monopolize the telephone when they called Kasumi to set this up.
Barry, restored to male form again, was reassuring her that the noise she made had added an eerie counterpoint to everyone else's silence. Somewhat mollified, she now refrained from attacking her sister, a good idea with Ryu present. Barry turned to the fathers. "Think you guys have learned a lesson?"
"What lesson?" growled Genma. Behind him, Nodoka's face went still and her right hand twitched on the katana hilt. Panda-baka could be incredibly dense sometimes.
"Akane and I could have died." He glared at them wearily. "You could have lost both of us if we hadn't gotten lucky. Once Cologne adjusted my ki, I had enough leeway to speed things up and buffer my body from the side effects. If I hadn't, I would have died, because the junk you dosed us with mixed badly with a drug some other jackass added to my drink this evening. We're only lucky he didn't try to hit on Akane as well."
"What!" He had their attention. "Then it's not our…"
"Shut up! It is your fault! It was a reprehensible act to try." Barry didn't bother to hide his vocabulary or his disgust. "Look at me, dammit! I think some guy was trying to put the moves on my girl-form using a drug. I was a hair…" He held up his fingers in a mere slit. "…just a hair this side of kicking the bucket when you idiots were leading us down the aisle. If you had cared a whit for what was best for us, you would have noticed something was wrong." Barry shook his head. "When the rain forced me into girl-type, I had less mass to resist the drug. I've never felt pain like that."
"A martial artist should be immune to pain!" snapped Genma.
"Who are you to talk?" Barry popped back. "I've seen how you act with a splinter in your finger, so don't give me that bullcrap!" He frowned at them. Soun was dividing his attention between Barry and Akane, who was peeling off the layer of wax, which had made her skin corpse-like. "I think it's time we dropped the charades." He noted others in the room tense.
"I am not Ranma Saotome," he announced. "Not in consciousness, at least. I can't and won't marry Akane, lovely as she is, because I am married already. Your Ranma and I exchanged places three months ago and Akane and her friends have been working to get him back ever since. We didn't tell you because we figured you'd do something stupid like this. Now I'm telling you, because you better not try it again." The fathers gaped. They looked at him and their jaws worked silently. "I've done the best I could to live up to Ranma's honor and intentions. I've slipped here and there, but I'm not Ranma. Remember that. Remember, because, if you screw up our getting him back… get in the way, even a little bit; Nodoka's katana will be a blessing." They shivered.
Genma ventured, "My son would never…"
"I'm not your son. I have values totally alien to your culture. I have neither Ranma's control nor discretion." He eyed Genma who subsided. "If your son were the ham-handed, amoral fighter you trained him to be, panda-baka, I'd seriously consider staying! Fortunately, your son is a man among men by my standards and by your wife's, an individual of superb control and restraint. You'd do well to emulate the man your son has become. I admire him. But remember, I am not him!"
Soun swallowed. "This is no stranger than anything else that happens to Ranma. But…" He looked down at Akane. He crushed her against his chest once more sobbing, "Oh, my poor baby!"
"Ease off, Tendo! Make okonomiyaki outa the tomboy and Ranma will be pissed." Soun released her, gasping and blue, as Ranma-esque tones and voice shocked him back. "Akane's been central to getting him back. We spent about sixteen hours today… yesterday," he corrected himself, "trying to untangle the mess that we're in. Teaching Akane and the others ki-manipulation was part of the path toward this goal."
"Where is Ranma?"
"In my body, we think. I'm from an alternate world or timeline, based on the evidence. Since nobody there is a martial artist of the caliber he'd need for help, he's almost certainly working alone." Barry shrugged. "That's provided I'm not in a coma or something. I had a fall from an unruly horse."
Barry summarized the last four months in fifteen minutes for the fathers. He didn't give them anything beyond the basics, of course, just enough to let them feel they had the highlights. As he finished, Nabiki and Kasumi walked in. The former was white faced and very upset, while Kasumi seemed merely resigned. Nabiki marched straight up to Barry and smacked him across the face. She looked astonished at the wax on her hand and at Akane's peeling appearance. She gulped and then glared again as if she might have another go at him.
"Sorry, I couldn't let you know about the plan up front, Nabiki" Barry said, peeling away the wax her blow had dislodged. He eyed her warily. "If it helps, the story was almost true."
"That doesn't help!" she growled. She turned on her heel and stomped over to Akane, looking her over carefully before turning, arms crossed, to once again present the ice queen to her audience. Barry suspected that Nabiki had been more than shaken at the suggestion that her little sister was dead.
"Well, if everyone understands what's going on," suggested Kasumi, "I suggest getting some sleep. We can sort the rest out tomorrow, I'm sure."
"You knew about this?" Soun quavered. He was shocked.
"Oh, Father," she chided. "Barry has been a perfect gentleman and helped Akane learn how to get Ranma back. He has never taken advantage of the situation."
"He has my sanction as well, husband," Nodoka informed Genma.
"And mine," conceded Cologne. "Just to let you understand, he gained my agreement to get your son back without sacrificing Akane's claim to Ranma. In fact, she's in a slightly better, if more hazardous position, in the eyes of the Matriarchy."
"What does that mean?" Genma complained.
"It means we won't nip out of the country with Ranma the moment your backs are turned," the old woman clarified dryly.
"Akane, what does she mean 'better, but more hazardous'?" Soun asked, frowning.
Kasumi interrupted again. "Really father! Don't you think everyone has had enough for tonight? If Barry was as ill as Cologne says he was, he needs his rest. The same goes for everyone else. It's nearly morning already."
"Kasumi… has… spoken-n-n-n-n." There were many raised eyebrows and Kasumi blushed at the deep, hollow intonation Barry made by cupping his hands. He grinned. No one got the joke… again. Well, maybe Kasumi.
"What was that supposed to be, Barry?" Akane asked.
He sighed. "Never mind." Cross culture jokes almost never worked for some reason.
It was after dawn when he felt a poke in his side. His ki-sense flared and he recognized Genma. "Watcha want, Pops," he mumbled sleepily. He hoped the big idiot wasn't planning on training, not after last night's revelations! He surged awake, not knowing what the older Saotome wanted or whether he might have some ridiculous (and possibly dangerous) exorcism planned. He rolled away and came to Ranma's relaxed ready stance in an instant, prepared to defend himself, but the other man simply stood and watched him. Finally, Genma shook his head.
"It's uncanny." That was all the other said for a while. Barry kept his guard up. Everything told him the older man was not threatening him, but Genma was a crafty old bugger, more cunning than brilliant. Ranma's father dropped to a cross-legged seat and looked up at him inscrutably. Barry debated his options. The safest option was to sit too close for Genma to easily launch punches or kicks and too far for him to use his greater weight in grappling and throws. He sat and eyed the man, using the time to assess the body he wore, un-kink muscles and prepare it for anything.
"How can you be so much like my son?" Genma asked. "I've spent years with him and yet, you walked in and simply took over without anyone noticing."
"Akane noticed in seconds," Barry said then wished he hadn't. God knew how that statement would affect Ranma and Akane's future choices.
"Yes," Genma smiled wryly, behind his glasses. "Tendo's girls chose better than they knew." The smile went away. "What are the chances of getting my son back?" he asked.
"I don't know, Mr. Saotome," Barry answered him. "We're pretty much making this up as we go along." He let his eyes drop to his hands, resting on his knees, offering an apparent opening to attack. Genma didn't take it. "Cologne seems to feel that, when the time comes, we'll exchange places. There's also a chance it won't work at all and we'll both wind up dead."
"Such is the path of a martial artist," Genma spoke quietly. "And what of you? Any idea why this happened?"
"I wish I knew," Barry sighed heavily. "I guess it depends on whether you believe in destiny or random chance, accident or design."
"What do you believe?"
Barry wondered where this was leading. He stared at the man he had started off despising and now pitied. There was something pleading in his tone. "Destiny and design, I guess, but with free will thrown in." Genma frowned. "We all make choices, Mr. Saotome. For good or ill. Take yours, for example…"
"I'd rather not," the other flushed in shame.
"Let me finish. You've done some truly horrible things to Ranma. Yet they strengthened him. Without the Nekoken, he'd be a husband in China by now and very unhappy." The glasses gleamed as Genma's head moved slightly. "Take Ryoga; without his stubbornness and anger, Ranma would really never have exceeded his limits. Consider any of the kidnappings, the challenges, Akane's poundings, the curse… They all pushed him to excel where anyone else would have been satisfied to be merely the best. He is what he is because of the trauma of his life."
"Stress produces change," Genma nodded.
"But change is not always good," Barry replied. "Ranma has fears. Oh, not of death, but of loss. His mother, Ukyo…" Genma twitched. "…Akane, his respect for his father…" Genma twitched again. "I could go on. That last is why I've been pushing you, especially once I heard of his sisters, to change your life."
"You're a meddler," the other accused testily.
"Lord! Who wouldn't be? But we're off the subject." Barry shifted. "You asked why this happened. I don't know. What I have considered is that it may have absolutely nothing to do with Ranma. I didn't even think of that until a few weeks ago, but I've made key decisions for Ranma, and made them in ways he would not have… at least not without a little coaching. The results have, like a stone thrown in a pond, far-reaching effects." Barry sought for answers to give this man.
"Wouldn't you think that, with your mission done, you two would — I don't know — switch back?"
"What's the mission?"
"How's that?" Genma asked.
"What's the mission? Nobody ever told me, nor did they make any promises, that if I did x, y, and z, I'd get home… or that Ranma would."
They sat in silence and watched the sun brighten the skies through the east windows. Genma slowly nodded off, exhausted. He nodded and bobbed slightly in place, still upright, his snores becoming evident. Barry grinned and nudged him.
"I'm awake!" Genma said, turning as if nothing had happened.
"Damn! You remind me of Dad in so many ways." Genma's eyes widened slightly.
"Your father was a martial artist?"
"No. A corporate lawyer, and a damn good one, but so many of your mannerisms are like his, and your wife looks so much like a younger version of Mom."
"Do you think you're sort of an alternate Ranma?" Genma asked curiously.
"I seriously doubt it, Genma. There are a lot of similarities, but there are a lot of differences, too."
"Such as?"
"Ranma has his curse to be both male and female. It may not be relevant, but I was a fraternal twin whose 'other half' didn't make it. If that twin was female, it could be construed that she 'drowned', a weird parallel to Jusenkyo. Our parents are similar; we both have fathers at the top of their professions. Our eyes are almost identical. We had mothers who were overprotective when we were young." Barry considered a moment. "Ranma is the only child, but I was the youngest by six years. I met my wife, who is very like Ukyo by the way, when we were young children and she decided, then and there, she was going to marry me. She didn't tell me of course, she simply pursued me quietly. She became my best friend.
"Shortly before that though, I met a girl in school when I was only a little younger than Ranma was when he was thrown in with Akane. She wore short hair, was a bit of a tomboy and liked to hit me with fists, feet, elbows, books and once, a folding chair. It took me hitting her back and yelling at her in front of the class to make her leave me alone. She was cute, but acted un-cute, and I wouldn't put up with it. I don't even remember her name. It was a while after that when I began to look at Gwen with something a bit more serious than friendship."
Genma shifted uncomfortably. "Are you trying to say that Ukyo would be better for Ranma?"
"Nothing of the sort. I'm pointing out similarities. I was also challenged in high school by someone very much like Kuno. He was a better fighter than I was, but I won, not necessarily by beating him physically, but by being right. I pointed out what his bullying was, refused to back down, took my lumps and went right after him again. He found he couldn't bully me into silence, nor could he prevent me from disrupting his plans. We never became friends, but he respected me."
"Are you the best at what you do?" Genma wanted to know.
"I wish." Barry pondered as the light came in brighter, playing with the dust motes that swirled from their steady breathing. "That's the big difference, of course. I was always comfortable, never pushed except by external necessity, my personal best was always good enough for my audience and I sought no higher. I had a stable, happy childhood till the day my father died when I was fifteen." He sent out a puff of air to make the motes swirl. "Ranma has never been comfortable, his personal best was never accepted as good enough, he has always been driven by everyone and everything. When he was fifteen, he lost his father, in a way, when you broke your leg and he finally got some regular schooling. He had never questioned your motives before. But, stuck as you were, you couldn't make him steal for you. You were in no condition to run from the police. You had to explain to him that the previous ten years you had had him acting dishonorably."
Genma swallowed, a deep almost belching sound in the still morning.
"Of course you didn't explain it like that, but Ranma is as cunning as you and far from stupid. He listened, he emulated, he absorbed what was considered right and noble. It fit in with some of his earliest memories of his mother. He wanted to be accepted, to belong. He began to make friends of a kind and watched some TV. Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan, among others, became role models. So he took what you offered, made it his own and went his own path, separate from yours. Jusenkyo killed what little respect he had left."
"If Ranma lost… his father," Genma said, his voice harsh. "Why have you tried to change me?"
Barry thought on that awhile. He had never really thought about why he had done all that. He just had. Then he heard the stirrings in other parts of the house and realized he had the answer.
"Because I loved my father deeply. To me he was everything that was right and just in the world. He never let me, or any of his family, down except through death. The way you resemble my father nagged at me and Nodoka's sorrow nagged at me, until I tried and hoped that somewhere in you was a spark of what my Dad had." He looked directly at the other man. "Actually, I was surprised. You have more than a spark, but it's hard to ignite wood soaked in years of habit. You, Genma Saotome, must consciously make the right choices just like Ranma has to learn to be sociable and not insult Akane." He smiled. "Maybe that's part of why I'm here and Ranma's where my wife is. He can learn how to be comfortable and… sociable and you can learn to be responsible."
"Are you serious?" Genma was appalled. What if the only way to get Ranma back was making a conscious effort to be…? (Eeuw!) …honorable and… (Urk!) …conscientious and… (Gag!) …a comfortable family man surrounded by a loving family. He paused and re-checked that last thought. Come to think of it, it sounded awfully tempting.
Nodoka tightened her sash as she came into the room. Upstairs, a yelling match had begun between Natsume and Kurumi in Ranma's old room. "Dearest," she said annoyed. "Wasn't it enough to try to poison him yesterday? Let him get some sleep!"
"It's all right, Mo—! Mrs. Saotome," Barry corrected himself quickly. No need for appearances, anymore. "We had a nice talk. Probably would have played Shogi, if I knew how…"
Nodoka nodded, scowled faintly at her husband and retreated to the kitchen. Genma sighed and looked after her wistfully.
"I take it you were relegated to the couch?" Barry asked with a wry smile. Genma blinked and looked puzzled. "She was not happy with you?"
"No. She's definitely not happy with me." Genma sighed. "Things were going so well, too."
"You know what the answer is," Barry stated. Genma frowned and the lines around his lips tightened. "I won't say anything more, Genma. Each man digs his own grave." He left the man looking at his hands and entered the kitchen. "Good morning, Mrs. Saotome."
"Good morning, Barry-san." She smiled in a weary manner as she prepared breakfast for the family. "Are you certain you got enough sleep?"
She caught him in the middle of a yawn. He grimaced, gave her a look and chuckled. "I can catch up on it later. Can I help with anything?"
"Yes. Call your… Ranma's sisters to come down and help me in here," she said with a smile. "Expect complaints." Her eyes twinkled slightly.
"If they're anything like my sisters at the same age, expect war! Okay." He shrugged. He walked to the bottom of the steps. "Natsume! Kurumi! Mother would like you to help in the kitchen!"
There was an ever so brief pause in the action upstairs, then…
(Rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, RUMBLE, RUMBLE…)
The two girls pelted down the steps, in their pajamas, grumbling and accusing one another of various misdeeds. Kurumi was obviously still peeved about being tied up last night, and Natsume was defending her position by bringing up every possible mistake her sister had made since she had learned to walk (maybe before), and presenting it in the worst possible light.
They paused again briefly as Nodoka hugged them, gave and received a light kiss on the cheek, then began arguing about what duties it was, individually, their turn to do and whether other circumstances might dictate that certain duties might devolve back to one or the other of them. Nodoka checked them gently; assigned tasks and they went to work amid other minor differences of opinion.
Barry noticed their body language around Nodoka. Kurumi loved her fiercely, possessively and absolutely. It was, for her, a fairy tale come true. Natsume was more reserved, less demonstrative, but Nodoka's treatment had obviously won her as well. The scene made him remember his own mother and sisters in his childhood. That thought in mind, he turned back to Genma with a grin. If he had him pegged right…
Genma sat frowning, wincing at every sharp sound the two made, his harmony disrupted by the murmur, the sharp exclamations and the occasional loud squabble. His time in Soun's house had not prepared him for this, as there was so little overlap between the Tendo girls' duties and habits that they hardly argued at all. The arguments between Ranma and Akane had a different edge than this and it simply wasn't the same.
"Wanna spar, old man?"
Genma gave him a surprised look then smiled. He whispered, "It's preferable to listening to this hen-chatter. I won't go easy on you, boy!"
"Feh! Don't forget I'm as old as you, old man! Maybe I'll be slow enough to give you a chance, but don't bet on it!" They dodged out into the back yard.
Barry felt almost deliriously free as he bounded into the yard. From the house they heard the complaints of the sisters, as they immediately wanted to drop what they were doing and join the two at their game. Cries of anguish brought a sly smile to Genma's lips as Nodoka firmly ordered them to stay, they could play later.
Without further preliminaries, they attacked, blocking, punching, feinting, testing the other's responses. Barry saw an opening, knew it for the feint it was, offered for it anyway to draw Genma out and… (Crunch!) Genma was upside down in the garden wall. Which was strange; Barry hadn't planned to do that. Genma peeled himself off the wall and grinned maniacally.
"So, you want to play rough?" The older man asked, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.
"Actually…" Barry sweated. He hadn't planned that, so why did it happen? Genma barreled back in, pressing him harder, Barry offered an opening that should lead to a grappling move by the other that could be turned into a simple but effective hip throw. It worked and Genma skidded across the grass. He picked himself up, and began to circle back in. Barry felt something build in him as they closed for a series of kicks and punches. Something wasn't right. He had better control than this, even if it was second-hand. Something… clicked.
"Genma! Salmon kick, now!"
Startled, the older man did just that — kicked off in a vertical jump that interrupted the flow of combat even as Barry's hand, held open and edge-first, snapped at his neck like an axe. Instead of the juncture of the fourth and fifth vertebra of the neck, it struck the meaty part of his shoulder, the force tumbling Genma nose for tail in mid-air. He rose, rubbing his shoulder.
"You're better than Ranma at distraction, Barry-san," he grinned, rotating the shoulder. "It won't work again, though."
"Back off, Saotome! Something's wrong!" He leaped up onto the roof to gain some distance in case the other man didn't listen. "I had you jump because I couldn't stop that shot at your neck. I almost killed you!"
"Come now," Genma replied frowning. The door to the house opened and Nodoka came out.
"Barry-san," she spoke in disapproving tones, "you know I don't like you two fighting on the roof!"
"I needed the space, Nodoka. Something's wrong!"
The use of her given name and his tone frightened her. "Is something wrong between you and Ranma?" she asked, concerned.
"I don't know! I don't think so!" Barry swallowed. "I've lost my controls! I'm back to being as dangerous as when I first came here!" He was pale and sweating. "Dear God! All those kinks and tangles Akane got rid of! That was how I controlled this body! I was creating a feedback loop to Ranma." He sat down on the roof. "All yesterday and last night, I could have cut loose and killed people without even thinking."
Nodoka decided that to be practical about it would be the best way. "You didn't though. And you don't really know, do you?" He shook his head. "Why don't you come down and have breakfast. Then we'll call Akane and have her look at you. Maybe there is some way to fix this, or perhaps there's something more you can do to get my son back."
"Leave my breakfast in the garden," Barry countered. "Then you guys head over to the Tendo's. I don't want to risk hurting anyone."
Genma turned to his wife. "I'm staying here," he said, "You take the girls with you."
"Hey!" yelled Kurumi. 'We're martial artists, too, ya know!" She and her sister had followed Nodoka out of the house.
"I don't want to hurt Ranma's sisters by accident," Barry told her. "Right now, if you get into a fight with me, I can't control the instincts. Ranma's body will go all out; and Ranma fought and, finally, killed a kami-lord that way. You saw how Ukyo, Ryoga and I fought at the school dance? That wasn't all-out."
They fell silent. Nodoka turned and re-entered the house to make the call to Akane. "You wouldn't really hurt me, would you?" Kurumi gave her best 'I'm so cute and helpless' look.
"Honey, I'd rather cut off my own arm. Trouble is, that arm is a universe away, along with the person who can control this body!"
"Yah know, this really bites," complained the younger sister. Natsume merely watched him.
"Why?" he asked.
"We thought you were Ranma. And I was really beginning to like ya." She scuffed a toe. "What if we don't like him?"
"What's not to like?" Barry grinned. "Ya know how I've teased you guys this past week?"
Natsume made a small disgusted noise and looked skyward. She had been tormented particularly thoroughly and had been infuriated when her attempts to retaliate were sloughed off or ignored. "What about it?" she spoke finally.
"Ranma probably won't tease as much, but he'll be easier to tease." Kurumi grinned. "Don't be surprised if he gives Ryu the third degree." Barry looked at the Natsume; her stern, beautiful features made her resemble a Greek statue of Athena he had once seen. "He thinks highly of Ryu, but you know guys. You're his sister and nobody is gonna be good enough for his sister." Natsume snorted disbelievingly. "Be nice, guys. He's gonna be feeling like he's gotta compete with me for a while. He might need your support, but he'll never admit that."
"You sound like you're saying goodbye," Natsume stated quietly.
"You never know." Barry left that thought unembellished.
Fifteen minutes later, Akane crossed the nearby rooftops and glided to a stop well out of arm's reach. "I heard about the trouble, Barry," she said. "What can I do?"