All right, Beautifuls, time for another installment! Forgive my [AGAIN] lateness. Life can be such an energy-sucker.
So I'm going to spoil my own story and go ahead and say to those of you concerned, this is NOT going to be one of those "unexpected pregnancy" stories! All this was just simply to give a glimpse into a new facet of Adam and Lacey's relationship. A coming-of-age kind of thing.
For those of you who may be a little impatient for the romance/travelogue chapters to end, I assure you this will be the very last one. I enjoyed writing them because at this point I felt a little swept away in Adam and Lacey's story, plus wanted some good times between them to happen before the difficulties Adam's about to face playing college hockey. Of course, there will still be little sweet moments along the way, because this is, after all, a love story first. But it is meant to be an Adam's journey/hockey story second, so I assure you there will be plenty of that coming up!
This chapter's summary – Lacey and Adam deal with the awkward but sweet moments that follow after consummating their relationship. The trip to San Francisco comes to a close, but not without Lacey finding the perfect resting place for her father. Lacey also endeavors to bond with Gretchen in hopes to help her. In the end, real life, which waits for no one, resumes, and Lacey relinquishes Adam to NYC for his first semester.
Love you guys, and thanks again for the awesome feedback! If I could, I'd round us all up for coffee and conversation!
/*/*/
"Without change there'd be no butterflies." – Unknown
The next morning Lacey and Adam awoke around the same time and promptly fell into one another's arms again, knowing they would have to leave all this behind them for the day.
"Happy birthday," Lacey whispered in the midst of their frenzy.
Adam could only grunt a reply, his forehead pressed against hers.
Just then, a knock came at the door, scaring her out of her wits.
"Sorry to wake you, but I need the cellular phone charger, Adam," Phil's voice came from the other side.
Adam halted just long enough to turn his head and reply in a forced level voice to mask his breathlessness, "I'll bring it. Can you give me just a minute to get up and dressed?"
Phil hesitated, likely wondering why Adam couldn't just get up and hand it out the door. "Sure." His footsteps receded down the hall.
"What if he knew?" Lacey whispered as Adam resumed.
"I don't care," he replied, a twinkle in his eye. "It's my birthday. I can do what I want first thing in the morning."
Afterward, Lacey began stripping the sheets from the bed as Adam looked on in puzzlement. "Why are you doing that?"
She didn't want to mention the fact that she had just noticed a small blossom of blood where they had been laying. It was something she was quite familiar with–the fact that a girl often bled the first time. But she didn't know if Adam knew that, and if he saw the spot, he would probably worry he'd been too rough. She knew his chivalry well.
"Well we were pretty sweaty, and just…things," she replied, her face suddenly burning up at the awkwardness. "I'll just go put these in the wash."
"No, go ahead and take your shower. I can run down and get them started."
He came over to take them, but she instinctively pulled them back toward her. "It's your birthday."
Adam rolled his eyes. "And it'll still be my birthday, even if I throw a couple of sheets in the washer. Come on." He leaned in and kissed her forehead.
Realizing she was making a big deal out of something that was literally quite small, Lacey relinquished the sheets. Chances were, he wouldn't pay enough attention to notice.
"Um, Lacey…"
Heading to the bathroom, she turned back to him.
"That was amazing. I mean, really, really good," Adam smiled shyly. "But I don't want you to think it's all I want. I mean, okay, maybe right now it is," he blushed. "But in general, I don't want to ever be that douchebag who only wants sex from his girlfriend. So, we'll only do it when you're comfortable–"
"Adam," Lacey stopped him. "I trust you. I know you love me for more than this, so let's just let it play out naturally, okay? When we want to, we'll do it. When we don't, we won't."
"All right. Deal." Adam flashed her a relieved smile and wink.
And with that, Lacey disappeared into the bathroom, pausing before turning on the shower to look at herself in the mirror. A smile spread across her face then and she jumped up and down quietly in her bare feet, slapping a hand across her mouth to keep from giggling out loud.
How awesome was that.
/*/*/
Adam felt like he was in a dream as threw on his boxers and a white t-shirt and carried the sheets downstairs to the laundry. Travis and Gretchen would be down there, an encounter he wasn't keen on having, but it was necessary. As nice as last night was, he was now fully awake and realized that Lacey had the right idea: he wasn't sleeping on these sheets tonight unless they were clean.
Lacey.
Her name pounded through his entire being with every heartbeat. As if she hadn't been perfect enough before…
The memories of their union played through Adam's mind as he made his way downstairs, but he knew he'd have to curb his thoughts if he was going to be in Travis's presence. He didn't want his brother knowing his business, and Travis had this uncanny way of figuring things out.
Just as he came downstairs, he rounded the corner only to be greeted by the sight of none other than Travis, who was combing his hair in the living area while watching the stock market news on TV. He turned to regard Adam with a raised brow.
"What's with you washing your sheets this early?"
Adam thought fast. "I think I have a stomach bug. I threw up again last night…kind of all over the bed."
Travis shook his head. "Jeez, don't you know when it's gonna hit you? Why don't you get up and go to the bathroom? Here, let me show you where the machine is." He stood up, and Adam was about to tell him not to bother, but he didn't know where to go.
Travis led him into a small utility room, gesturing toward the washer.
"Thanks," Adam mumbled, walking past him with the armful of sheets.
His brother sniffed the air as he walked past. "Wait. They sure don't smell like puke."
Adam turned to look back at Travis with a wrinkled nose. "Are you trying to smell puke?"
"No," Travis shrugged. "You're just acting weird, so I'm wondering what's really going on."
"I'm not acting weird. Travis, man…" Adam was losing his patience as he stuffed the sheets into the washer. "I don't need to explain to you why I'm washing my sheets. I just am, okay?"
Gretchen walked in then, her hair in electric rollers. "They probably had sex," she remarked unceremoniously as she opened the dryer to take something out, then looked from Adam to Travis. "Let him wash his sheets."
Adam wanted to sink into the ground.
"Oh, and happy birthday Adam," she gave Adam a nonchalant smile before walking out.
Travis looked back at his brother with wide eyes.
Adam turned away quickly, busying himself with the detergent.
"So you're a man now?" he could hear the grin in Travis's voice. "Finally, at nineteen. What happened to 'Oh, we're not in a hurry, Travis,' and 'I'm waiting for her to be ready. We're just taking it slow, Travis'," his brother mimicked him in a high-pitched voice.
"Mind your own business."
"Good thing I gave you a box of condoms, huh? Bet they're already gone."
With that, Adam froze.
Protection. How could I have been so stupid?
He felt himself break out into a cold sweat, and Travis's brow furrowed. "Tell me you wore a condom."
Adam swallowed. "I gotta go get dressed." He slammed the door of the washing machine closed and pushed past his brother.
"Oh you are so screwed, and not the way you were last night, little bro." Adam heard Travis follow him out. "You better hope for the best. Mom doesn't need another kid to raise while you're off playing with your sticks and pucks."
But Adam ignored Travis, rushing back up the stairs to find Lacey.
He was always responsible, always had his game together. He must have been so lost in the moment last night that he didn't even stop to think.
"Lacey?" He burst into the bathroom without even knocking. Why knock anyway when he had seen everything there was to see last night?
Lacey shrieked, dropping the towel she was using on her wet hair. "Adam, you scared the heck out of me! What's wrong?!"
"W-We didn't use protection." Adam swallowed, his throat bone dry. "It was my fault. Travis gave me a box of condoms, and I just wasn't thinking…"
But Lacey shook her head. "Adam, calm down."
"Calm down? Aren't you the least bit worried about what could, you know, potentially happen…?" Adam was stunned.
"Well, I'm on birth control," she replied as she turned back to the mirror, towel drying her hair, though a look of uncertainty crossed her face. "I've been on it for a couple of years to regulate my cycle. Shouldn't that be enough?"
Adam was dizzy with relief, but after rubbing his eyes for a second, looked back at her . "Well I think maybe we should use the condoms anyway. Just in case. Because, I mean, birth control isn't a hundred percent effective, right?"
"Yeah, that's true. I guess we probably should. I'll just be honest, I wasn't thinking about it last night," Lacey admitted, bringing the towel down to begin combing through her growing brown hair. Since he'd been seeing her after showers during their same-room stay in San Francisco, he had the chance to see how wavy her hair was when she didn't use her curling iron, and he was in love with it. But try as he might, he couldn't get her to just let it wave naturally. He came over to her now, still in a tremendous state of relief after the protection scare, and gently tried to take the comb from her hand.
"Can I do it?"
She looked back at him warily. "What are you going to do to my hair?"
"Nothing! I just want to comb it."
"It's wet."
"So what?"
Finally she relinquished it after giving him a mock-warning look.
"What did you think I was going to do? It's a comb." He began to run it through the damp strands of hair, thankful it didn't look like she'd been pulling much since right after her dad had died. Not that that was what he was looking for.
"Yank," she replied pointedly.
"Okay, I know we play around alot, but I'm not going to purposefully pull your hair. I just really like combing it. It's…I don't know. Soothing?"
Adam combed Lacey's hair until it was smooth, then handed the big purple comb back to her with a kiss to her cheek. "Hurry, I need to get in here to shower next."
"Why can't you go ahead? I mean, does it really matter now?" she smirked, reaching back to swat his backside.
"Adam, I need that charger."
They both jumped at the sound of Phil's voice again at the doorway to the room. Being in a house full of people definitely wasn't conducive to "honeymooning."
"All right, Dad, coming," he sighed, looking over at Lacey.
She shrugged, flashing a little smile as she pulled out her blow dryer.
/*/*/
It was, hands down, Adam's best birthday ever.
For one, it was the very best day they could have picked to go to the beach. The sun was shining, the breeze was light and steady, and the sound of seagulls filled the air. Baker Beach was, as usual, packed with people, but that certainly didn't stop Lacey from gazing past them, mesmerized, at the ocean. It was her first time seeing it, and just watching her at the beach was enough to make his entire day there.
First she had to get used to walking on sand. Pretty soon she was ready to venture out into the ocean, but for a little while kept racing back to the shore, afraid of the big waves of the Pacific. He couldn't help but laugh as he sat on a blanket close to his parents. He had remembered to bring his camera, and spent a lot of time initially taking pictures of a little of everything. But, unable to stay away from Lacey for too long, he handed the Nikon over to his mom for safekeeping and went out into the ocean with her. After a little while, emboldened by his presence, she began to wander a little farther in, up to her thighs, and, watching people close to her, started jumping waves. She was also in awe of the surfers and, when she took breaks to go back to her blanket for a while, studied them with interest.
"How can you possibly stand on a board like that and not fall off in seconds?"
Adam shrugged. "I guess it's practice, same way I learned to skate and play hockey. Muscle memory and all that."
"Hey, take pictures of them! I want to show Stuart. He strikes me as a California surfer dude in a forty-year-old Scottish guy's body."
His parents seemed happy to just sit back and watch. His mom, despite her adventurous spirit, wasn't very keen on water, and had lost herself in another Danielle Steele novel. His dad sat under his umbrella with his shades on, making business calls on his cell phone. Gretchen had lathered her upper body in sunblock, despite the fact that she was hardly dressed for the beach in jeans and flats. She stared absently at his brother, who seemed to be having fun wading in the ocean and Adam thought, not for the first time, that something was really off about the woman. Other than the fact that she was pretty, if a little thin, what did Travis see in her?
The family spent the entire day at the beach, leaving only as long as it took to eat at a cafe at lunchtime. Everyone was completely exhausted, but in good spirits, by the time they gathered up their things and headed back to the sidewalk to wait for the cab at close to five. They went back to the house to clean up before heading to a place called Foreign Cinema which Travis was at least observant enough of Adam to have picked out. They sat outdoors at tables with string lights criss-crossed above them and a classic film playing on a big screen. But it was kind of hard to hear it, which Adam was thankful for, because the movie was The Lost Weekend. Given the fact that it was about an alcoholic, and pretty depressing even if it ended on a hopeful note, he really didn't want Lacey to pay much attention to it for fear it would remind her of her dad.
But she seemed happy chatting away to his dad, of all people, about the experience she and his mom had yesterday at the various art galleries. Travis made the odd comment here and there, and Gretchen even listened with mild interest. Looking around, Adam felt happy. His mom at last had someone onhand to share her love of art and all things creative with, and his dad had been lightening up a little about Adam's choice of a girlfriend. Lacey's presence even helped him change his feelings at times about his brother, though he didn't know why. It just felt like, all around, meeting her had been the thing he'd needed the most even though he'd always thought the best thing he had going for him was hockey. But now there was this wonderful new thing. And even hockey was moving over a little to make room for it.
It was hard to take his eyes off of her tonight. Her hair had formed the beach waves she possessed naturally anyway, and her skin was sunkissed from having spent all day in the sun. Remembering how she looked in her swimsuit and how it had clung to her in all the right places stirred Adam's desire, but he knew this was no time for that, and he suppressed the thoughts of last night that danced across his mind unbidden.
After the restaurant, they went back to the vacation house for a cake that his mom, Lacey, and Travis had collaborated to make for him. He was sure it was the best cake he'd ever tasted, and Adam smiled to himself as he did every year remembering his old nickname from the Ducks.
"Cake-eater!"
Afterward, his parents gave him their present, tickets to a New York Islanders game for November. Travis awarded him with a Giorgio Armani fragrance that nearly turned his stomach, but he felt bad about expressing. So he thanked his brother and kept up his poker face. He had his suspicions that this was a re-gift of something Travis had received that he hated himself, because it certainly wouldn't be the first time he'd done that.
Last was Lacey, and she went out of the room only to come back with something wrapped in blue and gold paper with a big gold bow.
"Fancy," he commented. "You made this bow?"
Lacey snorted. "No way. Alice did, actually. She makes wreaths, bows, all that stuff."
Adam unfastened the wrapping paper from the tape on the ends of the flat, box-shaped item. He was always careful about opening gifts, even though he was teased mercilessly about how long he took. Most people just tore into them.
Once all the paper was off, Adam took a slow, deep breath. It was a painting of a maroon scarf lying on icy ground with tiny dots of snow descending all around it.
"Well, what is it?" Travis predictably ruined his reverie.
Adam held it up, and his mom gasped. "Lacey, that's beautiful!"
His dad and Travis stared at it a moment, nodding in agreement that it was nice, but he could tell they were confused about its significance.
"Oh. Is that a red scarf? How cool," his brother finally remarked.
"Lacey, this is fantastic." His mom got up and came over, taking the picture unceremoniously from Adam's hands. "Did you do this from your head?"
"No way," Lacey smiled. "I actually found a picture in a magazine of a scarf on the ground for reference. I just kind of ran across it. I did change the color of course–it was blue in the picture–and I added the snow."
"You did a great job with the shading and three-dimensional color," Mom continued to gush as he pulled the painting back from her. "It looks so realistic. Adam, you had a scarf this very color once I think! When you were a kid. Not sure whatever happened to it, but I'm willing to bet you lost it."
He and Lacey traded a secret smile.
Adam couldn't stop staring at the painting, marveling at how quickly Lacey had picked up the art. If a career in social work failed for her, she certainly had a backup plan right here.
"It's…thank you," he replied simply, wishing he could truly express to her what the gesture meant. But it was almost time for them all to retire to their rooms, and Adam knew that what he could not convey in words to Lacey would be expressed in spades physically when they were alone. So, as soon as they could slip away, he put his arm around her waist and gently tugged at her until she got the message and they said their goodnights to everyone.
Adam spent the rest of the night in Lacey's arms, and before he drifted off to sleep, it occurred to him that he hadn't had a flare one time while in San Francisco. If today was any indication of what year nineteen was going to be like, he'd gladly take it.
/*/*/
The days following Adam's birthday flew by. The next morning an exploration of Chinatown and Little Italy was planned, where Lacey found both of her sisters souvenirs, and the evening was concluded by going to Lazy Bear to eat dinner–the most normal restaurant Travis had come up with so far. Afterward, the family headed back to the house to play the new board game Travis had bought.
Lacey was enjoying herself immensely, especially in light of her fresh new emotions for Adam. She knew she'd loved him before, but after their intimacy, it felt as though she knew entire dimensions more of him. And her heart swelled to bursting each time he walked by her during breakfast and she smelled his aftershave, or his hand brushed hers while they browsed in a shop. As much as she appreciated being shown all the ins and outs of San Francisco, she felt as if she'd be just as happy standing out on the beach with him, wrapped up in his arms and just watching the waves.
Waves. Beautiful, graceful, yet powerful, crashing waves. They were the most soul-healing natural occurrence she'd ever encountered. If she came back here for nothing else, she would one day return just to sit in their presence.
Before Lacey left in a couple days, however, there was one more thing she'd promised she'd do. But the timing had to be just right.
On the morning of Lacey's last full day in San Francisco, she finally found a moment to try talking with Gretchen. They ended up alone together in the utility room as Lacey was folding some of her laundry and Gretchen was putting some in the wash. Taking a deep breath, Lacey pressed ahead.
"Hey Gretchen, I wanted to ask. How'd you like the cake the other night?," she began cheerfully.
"I didn't actually eat it," the woman replied coolly, focusing on measuring detergent. "I don't eat sweets."
"I hear you," Lacey smiled. "Adam doesn't either. I wish I could say the same thing, but I'm a sugar fiend."
"Well, it's all mind over matter, honestly," Gretchen replied flatly, shutting the washing machine door and adjusting the dials.
"Yeah, I guess it is." Lacey was at a loss as to how to proceed. But it occurred to her that perhaps Gretchen might prefer a more direct manner of conversation. "But of course you're eating enough, right? I mean, you're very pretty and slim. I just hope you realize that you don't need to do anything else t–"
Suddenly Gretchen slammed her hands down on the washing machine lid with a clang, causing Lacey to jump. "Travis told you to talk to me, didn't he?" She turned flashing, accusing eyes on Lacey. "That bastard. He just can't let it go."
Gretchen stormed past her.
"Gretchen, wait." Lacey was dumb enough to follow her. "Please. Travis only said something because he cares about you. He's afraid. He worries maybe there's something else going on–"
And then, quicker than Lacey could register it, Gretchen whirled on her and slapped her in the face.
She reeled for a moment, reaching a hand up reflexively for her cheek and feeling her blood pump hard through her body as she was immediately taken to the back alley of Driskell with Max. Her breath quickened, and she knew she was about to have a tremendous panic attack.
Gretchen was instantly at her side. "I'm…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. I just felt cornered. Here, let me go get ice…"
"No, it's…" Lacey gasped, leaning over to put her hands on her knees.
"Lacey…? Oh God, are you okay?" There was concern in Gretchen's voice as she knelt on the ground in front of her.
"Yeah. I…" Lacey tried to imagine a babbling brook, a flying kite, anything to bring her anxiety level down. She even thought about being with Adam, but as much as the thoughts soothed her, they only knocked the edge off.
Damn this.
"It's okay, it's just a panic attack," Lacey gasped. The words came out of her mouth casually, she supposed because frequent panic attacks were a reality for her.
Gretchen put an arm around her to lead her to the living area's couch. "Here. Do you want a glass of water? We have a kitchenette. Let me get one."
Lacey worked hard to force the panic under submission while Gretchen was gone, finally gaining a little bit of control by doing lion breaths–inhaling deeply, then letting the breath out quickly in a roaring motion. She always felt silly doing it, but it often worked when nothing else did.
Gretchen was back with a glass of water in short order. This Lacey took in both hands shakily, downing the cool liquid and trying to linger over the pleasing sensation of drinking it, another tool Dr. Hemby had taught.
After taking a few more sips of water and several deep breaths, Lacey began to feel normal again–until, of course, she felt indignation sink in.
"What were you thinking?," she snapped at Gretchen. "That you didn't want to talk, so you'd just deck me instead?"
"I didn't mean to!" Gretchen supplied heatedly. "It was just a knee-jerk reaction. I felt backed into a corner. Not that you'd understand."
"Actually, I would," Lacey remarked ruefully, setting the glass on the coffee table in front of her. Which was true. She'd never hit anyone when panic had overtaken her, but she almost had a couple of times.
"And the fact that Travis sent you? It's like I can't get him off my back for anything. He's just always there, always so intense about all this!" Gretchen began to raise her voice before pausing to look behind her at the staircase leading up onto the main level.
"Travis is intense for sure," Lacey still rubbed the place where she knew a nice big red handprint would be in a couple of minutes. "But he's worried. And he probably didn't know what else to do."
Gretchen's shoulders sagged wearily. "Do I have trouble eating sometimes? Sure. Do I have a history of anorexia? Yeah, I do. But it's no one else's business, let alone his. I can deal with this problem myself a hell of a lot easier than I can when he's up my nose about it."
Lacey remained quiet.
"I mean, you already see how he can be. Imagine dating that," Gretchen huffed. "Trust me, I'm over it. I was all set to break up with him until he springs this trip on me, tells me he wants me to meet his folks. So what was I supposed to do?"
Lacey only had to think for two seconds before she replied, irritated, "Be honest? Because now it just looks like you were taking advantage of him for a free trip to San Francisco."
Gretchen gave a short laugh. "Oh, I'm sorry, you thought this was free? Maybe it is for you. But Travis and I split everything right down the middle, so it's cost me a pretty penny."
"But he's now under one impression even though you're under another one. Are you not worried at all about stringing him along?"
"...No?"
Honestly, the more Lacey knew about this woman, the more she thought she would gladly take Whitney any time over her. Feeling one hundred percent done with this encounter, she stood up. "Well he does care about you, whatever his faults. Don't you think he knew you'd figure out who sent me? But he wanted me to talk to you anyway. If you don't even like Travis, break up with him. But don't waste his time."
Lacey turned to make her way up the stairs, but stopped and came back. "Oh, and for the record? I might be only eighteen, but even I can tell you it isn't smart to keep 'handling' your problem without actually getting help. It's weak to sit back and expect healing will just come to you. It doesn't work that way."
Gretchen's eyes narrowed at her for a moment before she looked away.
"Now. If you want to talk, you know where to find me."
And with that, Lacey turned back and headed up the stairs, unwilling to waste one more second on someone who would be so unkind to Travis. Sure, he may be a little hard to take at times, but he was a good person, and proof that the longer she dated Adam, the more his people felt like an extension of her own family. She wouldn't stand for someone being so unfair. As a matter of fact, she thought, reaching the top of the staircase and rounding the corner, she was going to find Travis right now–
"Lacey?"
Adam descended the other set of stairs from the second level, "I was looking for you. I wanted to ask if…" he slowed down when he got to the bottom step, staring at her curiously. "What's that on your face?"
Lacey raised her hand, her cheek still stinging slightly. "Oh, it's…"
He came close to study it, confusion etched on his features before alarm took its place. "It looks like somebody slapped you. I mean it literally looks like a hand. But who here would do that? Where'd you get this?"
She sighed, closing her eyes and wincing. "If I tell you, don't freak out. Gretchen did it, but it was an accident. She already apologized, so let's let it go."
But Adam's blue eyes were already hardening. "What? How do you accidentally slap someone in the face?"
"You just do," she clipped, in no mood to explain it. "Listen, trust me. It was just…she was having a moment of panic because I was talking to her about s–" Lacey broke off, knowing that now she'd definitely need to give a little context to the situation. "Come back upstairs and I'll tell you, okay?"
So she and Adam went back to the bedroom and she recounted the confrontation with Gretchen and told him why she'd started it, conveniently leaving out the part about the panic attack. "Listen, do not give Travis a hard time about this. He was only trying to help, and so was I. I didn't even want to tell you, but I guess my face wouldn't be easy to explain away. Not unless I'd reached my makeup bag before I reached you..."
But Adam, she could tell from watching, was having none of it. "Whoa, wait. So this chick is not only stringing my brother along even after he cared enough about her to send you to rescue her–which I'm not happy that he did–she slaps you when you try to talk to her? That's not okay with me."
"All right. Adam?" Lacey tried again to smooth his ruffled feathers. "I'm the one who told Travis I would talk to her when what I should have done was not get involved. So from here on out, let's just let it go. Travis and Gretchen are going to have to solve their own problems, and who knows from what she might not come to feel differently about him? Then, would it have helped anything if I went and told him what she said? No. And trust me, that's what I was on my way to do when I ran into you. We're only here for one more day, and I really don't want to cause drama now, of all times. So, I know you're mad, but just walk it off, okay? I mean seriously, go take a walk around the block if you have to, but don't start anything with Gretchen. Promise me you won't."
Adam looked at her incredulously for a moment longer, finally shaking his head and glancing away before issuing a stiff "okay" in response.
"Thank you. Now." She stood. "I'm going to go try to cover this up before anybody else asks about it."
Lacey felt she did a fair job of adding enough makeup to make the left side of her face look merely a little extra rosy before they all left for Alcatraz, the day's big adventure. She ended up greatly enjoying the tour of the old prison, leaving there feeling enough fascination to fuel intentions of going back to the library when she returned home to pile up on books about it. As a matter of fact, Yvette seemed to be the only one who didn't necessarily relish the experience, blaming the fact that it was such a dreary, creepy place.
"And all those people who died there! Ugh! I definitely believe it was haunted," Adam's mom declared on the ferry ride back. "I felt a shot of cold air hit me right in the face when we left that old mess hall, and I'm telling you, I just had a feeling I can't describe."
Phil laughed out loud. "Yvette, come on. There are no ghosts, and you know it. Besides, what poor sod would want to haunt a place that awful, even if he did die there?"
"That's just the thing! They're probably trapped!" Yvette's big earrings tinkled as she shook her head expressively. "I believe in that sort of thing, Phil."
Adam glanced over at Lacey and smirked. It was probably the first semblance of a smile she'd seen from him all day, as he'd brooded his entire way through the Alcatraz tour. He hadn't given Gretchen two glances, even though that had been pretty standard the whole week.
That evening, though, all was set right. It was deemed Date Night, and each couple had the chance to wander off by themselves for dinner. Yvette and Phil planned to go to a pricy, underwater restaurant called Forbes, but Travis and Gretchen upped the ante by heading out for an experience at Opaque, where people dined in total darkness.
"It's supposed to heighten all your other senses," Travis explained when Lacey questioned who would want to eat in the dark. She had felt mildly disappointed, however, that Travis couldn't just take Gretchen to a nice normal place where maybe they would end up talking about the future of their relationship. But she couldn't let herself worry about Travis.
She and Adam headed off to a Latin restaurant that was a favorite of his from when his family visited San Francisco over the years called Roccapulco. They got a table outside in a stunningly beautiful courtyard, and Lacey easily lost herself in the environment of tabletop fountains, mariachis wandering about while playing spirited tunes on violins, and friendly wait staff. Not surprisingly, Adam knew the manager, Paco, who immediately recognized him.
"Adam Banks!" The thick-mustached man greeted in a beautiful Latin accent. "Good to see you back, my friend! How is your father?"
"He's doing well," Adam replied with a smile. "He and Mom are off on a date tonight, but I'm sure he would have liked to see you."
Lacey flashed her own smile when Paco glanced over at her. He nodded, then turned back to Adam.
"Esta es tu novia? Ella es encantadora."
She blinked, looking at Adam, who, much to her shock, replied back in Spanish. "Sí, no es así? Ella es mi novia, Lacey."
Paco threw his head back and laughed. "Buena suerte mi amigo. Volveré con guacamole para ti y tu novia."
With that the man was off, leaving Lacey to stare at Adam, dumbfounded.
He shrugged shyly. "Mom had Travis and I take Spanish when we started school. She wanted us to be well rounded, especially since hockey was such a big part of our lives."
"And you didn't tell me this?!"
"Well it hadn't come up," he replied simply, reaching for her virgin strawberry daiquiri and taking a sip. "This is good."
"Okay, well more importantly, what did you guys say to each other? I heard my name."
"He was asking who my lady friend was, and said you were beautiful," Adam peered back up at her. "I told him you were my girlfriend Lacey. Then he said good luck and told me he's bringing guac." He chuckled. "Nothing that juicy."
"You know, I learn something new about you every single day," Lacey playfully nudged him under the table.
After eating one of the best meals she'd ever had–it seemed like all of those had happened here in San Francisco–she and Adam joined the couples dancing to Latin music out in the middle of a small designated alley just outside the restaurant. It was a beautifully lit space with lanterns dotting either side of the street and a live singer and band occupying a corner stage.
Lacey did a much better job dancing this time around, and she was quite proud of herself. The music was amazing, and at one point a song came on that she absolutely loved the sound of.
"Okay, Spanish speaking wonder, what's this song saying?," she whispered to Adam as they held one another close.
Adam hesitated for a moment before whispering, "I'll tell you later. When we're in bed."
A little trill surged through her as she pulled his head down to meet hers, placing a lusty kiss on his lips.
"Come on," he broke off after a few seconds, tugging at her hand. "There's somewhere I want to take you."
After a cab ride that seemed to take forever, they pulled up in front of a small, quiet area with trees lightly scattering the landscape. "Okay, you ready?" He jumped out and held the door open for her to slide out after him. Lacey could only guess that he wanted to take a walk in this park, and she was hardly wearing shoes to do so. But she smiled good-naturedly and got out after him.
He paid the cabbie, then took her hand and led her down a dirt path.
"Adam, I can't walk in heels through here. You know that, right?"
"Trust me. We're not going to walk."
After a minute they rounded a corner, and Lacey's breath stopped.
There, in front of her, a wooden swing hung from a sturdy oak branch facing none other than the Golden Gate bridge, lit up beautifully as the sun was going down.
"Kirby Cove Swing," Adam came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. "I knew you'd like it."
"Like it? Oh my gosh, Adam." Lacey unceremoniously took her shoes off and skipped over to the swing like a kid, climbing up into it. "Push me while I stare at it!"
He laughed. "Sure, Your Majesty."
Lacey stared, mesmerized, at the Golden Gate Bridge as she felt Adam's strong hockey-player arms pushing her higher and higher. It seemed that no matter what amazing experiences she had in this place that she thought nothing could top, something always did.
She thought back to all those years she'd dreamed of coming to San Francisco, but wasn't sure she ever get to, at least not until she was an adult. Then she met Yvette, and had been given assurances that one day, if she put her mind to it, she would make that dream a reality. Who knew that Yvette was, in a few short months, going to be part of making the dream come true by way of Adam?
"Adam?"
"Yeah?" He continued pushing.
"I think I want to go up there tomorrow before we leave. Onto the bridge. And let my dad's ashes go."
He was quiet for a moment. "We can do that. Are you sure, though? I just want wherever you pick to be what you really want."
"Absolutely I'm sure." Lacey trained her eyes on the bridge, watching as people, looking like mere dots from here, hustled back and forth on the bridge's sidewalk.
"Okay, break time," Adam suddenly announced. "I haven't lifted in awhile and I'm a little rusty." He left off pushing as Lacey pumped her legs to maintain the pace. But she soon tired of it, and let herself coast to a stop.
Adam leaned against the tree, watching her with glowing eyes. "So you've had fun here?"
"Oh my gosh. There aren't enough words to describe how much I love this place." She beamed up at him as he came over in front of her, grasping the ropes. "Did you have a good birthday?"
She could practically feel his blush in the darkness. "Of course I did," he chuckled.
"I mean more than just that," she pushed his shin gently with her bare foot.
"Yeah, really. It was all pretty perfect. Every bit of it has been except for Gretchen," his voice became tense. "Do you realize that's the second time someone's hit you and I wasn't able to do anything about it?"
"Adam, you can't protect me all the time. I know you would, though, and that's what means a lot. Gretchen's just a lost soul, you know?"
Adam let out a breath of frustration. "Yeah, guess so."
He stood there with her, watching the city quietly. Finally he placed a hand on her shoulder. "You ready to go soon?"
"Sure." She stood. "We can call a cab."
The one thing that was odd about city life was how often a cab was used to get from Point A to Point B. Lacey wondered if one did the math, would the fare come out to be more expensive than buying gas for a car, or less so?
She and Adam walked hand-in-hand to the payphone next to the restrooms. Adam picked up the phone gingerly between his thumb and index finger, holding it as one might hold something contaminated. He inserted money and pressed the buttons with one hand, wiping it on his pants afterward while holding the receiver away from his face with the other. Lacey laughed. "Uh oh, does the Princess not like using pay phones? Who'd have guessed."
Adam leaned over and bumped her with his shoulder as he waited for someone to pick up. "I am not a princess!" he protested. "Do you know how many people use these things?"
After the cab was summoned, Adam hung up quickly. "And another thing. Never reach your finger in the coin slot of a drink machine to see if anyone left change."
"I do that all the time! What's wrong with it?," she inquired.
"Well, I used to do it too. Until one day I learned my lesson and put my finger in there only to draw back spit. Haven't done it since."
"Oh that's disgusting!" Lacey laughed.
The cab came sooner than she was afraid it would–her mind flashing back to the night she'd spent waiting for another ride in the dark, abandoned in the very worst part of town–and Lacey was all too eager to jump in almost before it stopped. They made their way back to the vacation house, surprised to find that they were actually the first home from Date Night.
"Are we that boring?" Adam chortled.
But it was late enough for Lacey, and she was tired, partially from the conflicted feelings she was already having about her dad and the ash sprinkling. So much so that, in the middle of the night, she pulled from Adam's arms and out of the bed, going over to dig in her luggage for the box. She held it for a long time, just looking down at it in the moonlight. Was the prospect of releasing these making her feel sad, or relieved? If she felt both at the same time, what did that mean?
Finally she tucked the box safely back in her luggage to keep until tomorrow. Maybe her feelings would be less muddy in the morning.
/*/*/
Lacey and Adam said their goodbyes to the family around nine o'clock, just after breakfast. Travis and Gretchen would be catching their own plane back to Chicago that afternoon, which would be around when Phil and Yvette were leaving to travel down to visit their friends in LA. Part of Lacey, as when she and Adam had left his lake house and her Aunt Rachel's farm, felt sad. There were experiences these walls had witnessed that she'd never had before with a person she loved so dearly. The two of them would never get this summer back.
She and Adam took their cab to a parking lot close to the Golden Gate Bridge, and Adam paid the cabbie extra fare to wait for them. Then, taking a deep breath, Lacey went around to the trunk and opened her suitcase, fishing around until her fingers brushed against the cardboard box.
Who had ever felt it right to store human remains in a cardboard box, prisoner or not?
But she pushed the question away, as that wasn't what she wanted to focus on right now. Adam walked with her silently as they made their way down the sidewalk until they reached the bridge. There, the walk became more densely populated. Lacey wondered if it would be possible to find a suitable place to stand at the rail out of everyone's way, but soon she and Adam reached a more private pocket close to the middle of the bridge. It had been quite a hike, but Lacey supposed her father had been worth at least that.
They stood at the railing, looking over the bay for a while. Finally, Adam looked over at her. "Anything you want to say?"
Lacey fidgeted with the box for a moment before swallowing, then spoke. "Dad…it feels weird to call you that, but I'm going to, at least one last time. I don't really know what to say other than that I'm sorry our story was what it was. I mean, I spent my entire life afraid of you, until I found out what you became: a repentant person who ended up finding good ways to deal with the past. And that's what made you brave."
She was surprised to find tears, unbidden, spring to her eyes as she continued. "I hope you're at peace now."
After another moment of silence, there was nothing left to do but to open the box, where her father's ashes were sealed in something akin to a ziplock bag. It frustrated her to have to open such a thing, almost more than it did the cardboard box.
Lacey struggled at first to know whether she wanted to shake the bag to sprinkle the ashes, or if she wanted to scoop her hand in. She stopped making every decision so hard for herself then and impulsively slipped her hand into the ashes, scooping some up.
The two of them watched the ashes as they slipped through Lacey's fingers. They felt soft and strangely soothing as she scattered them on the breeze that carried them gently down toward the bay, almost as if Mother Nature itself recognized that this had been a troubled soul that should be treated with care.
In a moment it was over, and Lacey looked down at the box as though there was something else to do. But there wasn't.
That's when she glanced over and saw, several feet away, a young man staring over the rails at the water with uncut, shaggy brown hair, wearing an old faded jacket and holding a cigarette. Lacey didn't need for him to look over at her to know he had hooded brown eyes.
Like chocolate drops.
He looked for all the world like he probably had before the hard drugs and heartache. And when he finally peered over and winked, Lacey's lips formed a small smile. Then he tossed the cigarette over the rails and turned to walk away.
"Lacey, what is it?" Adam inquired, staring with her at the sidewalk.
"It was nothing," she finally answered after gazing off for a moment. She then turned to him and smiled. "Let's go."
Some things were meant to be only hers, and she would remember this one all her life.
/*/*/
After San Francisco, Lacey went back to work. She registered for her fall classes at St. Paul and had one last sleepover with Julie and Connie before they left for college–Julie for good.
Julie: "I can't believe you got to eat at Atelier Crenn! That is so unfair!"
Connie: "I can totally believe you came back without your virginity. Called it! Now let me tell you how to keep from getting a UTI next time."
One by one, as August turned into September, people from her high school and from the Ducks drifted away to college or into full-time jobs around the city. Jesse left for basic training. Rising seniors began taking their place as second generation Eden Hall Ducks, and all of this happened just in time for the school's annual end-of-summer party. That made it one year ago that she'd formally met Adam, though it felt like an eternity ago now.
The weekend before Adam was to leave for NYU, he and Lacey spent two nights at the lake house together and had terrific fun just hanging out, swimming in the lake they'd skated on just a few months earlier, trying to read recipes together enough to cook–each time with varying results–and her attempting to give him painting lessons.
"If my mom wasn't successful at this ten years ago, I'm pretty sure you're not gonna be now."
"Hush and keep going. Wait, add white! White!"
Of course, Adam more than paid her back for the art classes by having her go trail running with him the next morning, which was torment to the fifth degree.
As they lay on the dock together the night before they were to leave, Lacey attempted–as cliche as it was–to count stars. There were a dizzying number in the sky. She soon left off trying to figure out the exact amount, instead singing, "Come Josephine in my flying machine, and it's up she goes…up, she goes…"
Adam peered over at her. "Why are you singing that?"
"Because this kind of reminds me of Titanic when Rose is just lying there on that board…bed frame…whatever it was…"
"Bed frame."
"Yeah, and she was singing that. Remember? And there Jack was, floating right next to her, dead."
"Are you trying to give me a message?"
"No!" She chuckled. "Just, now I think about that scene every time I look up at starry skies."
"Hmm. Well, I look up at them and think of stars."
"Stop making fun of me."
After their banter died down a bit, Lacey finally rolled over onto her side, studying him. "You're leaving next week. Are you nervous?"
"I am," he freely admitted. "But I'm just going to go and do it. It'll either become easier and less scary over time, or it'll get harder and I'll rise to the challenge. I'm generally pretty good with challenge, but…" he turned to face her. "...I'm going to miss you. Terribly."
"And I'll miss you, too. Every Wednesday night at eight is our AOL date, right? I think I remember everything you showed me."
"And if you forget something, just call. You've got my room phone number. And my cell phone number."
"Adam, this is hard."
After Lacey issued the remark, they lay quietly for a while.
"I know. But we shouldn't be scared."
"You're afraid, too? Like, not just missing me, but actually afraid?" Lacey inquired.
"Lacey, why wouldn't I be? I mean you say all this stuff about how I may become a different person in college and all that, but don't you think I worry about the same thing? I may call you one Friday night just to hear you say you need to cut out early for a party you're going to with people I haven't even met. I don't know that there won't be a guy there you're going to want to chat up. I worry about the same things you do, all the time. Just because I don't mention it a lot doesn't mean I don't think it." Adam kept his eyes trained on the night sky. "And you know, not only do I worry about you, but I worry about the team. In a way I'm afraid they won't each end up doing all they set out to do, but in another way I worry they will. 'Cause as bad as it sounds, I don't know that all this meant as much to them as it did to me and Charlie. And in a few years, the way we did everything together may just kind of find its way to the back of their minds."
It was the most Lacey had ever heard Adam verbalize his inner world in a long time. And instinctively she reached over.
"But," he continued, accepting her hand, "we press on. We can't just stop heading into the future. It doesn't wait for us to be on board with it. So we do the best we can to hold on to what we want to take with us."
Lacey smiled. "Well, you're going to be my thing to take."
"And you're going to be mine." He squeezed her hand.
The air around them was growing chilly as the first traces of fall descended upon Northern Minnesota. A shiver coursed through Lacey, and she sat up. "I'm going to the hot tub," she declared teasingly. "And I'm locking the door so you can't get in there to bother me."
"Like heck you are," Adam rose up alongside her.
"I'll run," she grinned, jumping onto her feet.
"And you know I can outrun you."
"Not if I have a head start!" With that, she took off like a shot.
But of course he did outrun her, swooping her up just as she reached the indoor enclosure, kissing her forehead and carrying her in with him. And that's where they stayed for a while.
The next weekend saw her waving, tears spilling down her cheeks, at Adam and his parents as they stepped into the terminal to leave for New York. Phil and Yvette were going just long enough to buy the things Adam would need for his dorm room and get him set up before flying back and leaving him there at NYU to gear up for his first semester.
Lacey wanted to be brave, and she wanted to show a cheerful, optimistic face for Adam. But in light of all they'd talked about at the lake house, she knew he knew better.
Letting him go off to his new adventure with her full support, however, was the very least she could do for the guy who had truly given her her first one.
Steadfast Stuart had an arm draped securely around her shoulders as Adam walked away, turning back one more time to give her a brave smile.
And just like that, summer was over.