A/N: So, it's been far too long since I updated. I promise that this won't be abandoned, it just might take me forever because my muse keeps abandoning the plot outline I have.
Friday 22nd January
"You nervous?" Marlene asked.
"Not really," Lily replied.
"Aww, Lily's all grown up, Alice!" Marlene exclaimed. "She's holding a tutoring session with James and not angry or annoyed at all."
"I'm not holding it," Lily laughed. "I'm just helping out."
Marlene and Alice looked at her as if she had grown a second head.
"What?" Lily laughed anxiously, "Don't tell me you really thought I was holding it?"
"Lils," Marlene said seriously, "nobody else who James has roped into helping out has been as excited as you have been, well excluding James of course."
"I haven't been as excited as Potter!" Lily protested stubbornly.
Alice and Marlene exchanged tired glances.
"Of course, you haven't," they chorused together. "Our mistake."
Lily rolled her eyes at them. "Thank you for admitting it."
"Marlene!" Sirius cried, running towards his girlfriend, and hiding behind her. "James has gone crazy. Save me!"
"Have not!" James cried, running as quickly as he could with scrolls of parchment piled high in his arms, nearly up to his glasses.
He wordlessly shoved them into Lily's arms without even glancing at her. Marlene rather thought that James probably hadn't realised just whom he was passing the scrolls to.
"You," James glared, jabbing his finger towards Sirius, "need to go over my notes and teaching plan."
"See!" Sirius exclaimed, peeking around Marlene, "Crazy!"
"Potter," Lily interrupted, frostily. "Please take your scrolls back."
James blinked, clearly just realising that Lily Evans was present and the one he'd offloaded his notes to, flushed and snatched the scrolls so hastily that half of them fell to the ground.
Lily rolled her eyes, waved her wand and silently, the scrolls leapt up and neatly stacked themselves in James's arms.
"Thanks, Evans."
"Is that for today's session or this year's?" Lily asked.
"The year's, I figured it'd be better to have a plan in case the younger years don't have anything particular they need help with."
"James, you're overthinking this," Sirius groaned. "They'll come, tell you what they need help with which I bet will be their homework topics because you're holding a tutoring session on a Friday evening. Why would you do that to them and to us?"
"There was no other evening everybody was free. And Saturdays don't work cos Hogsmeade trips are always on a Saturday."
"And those are every week of course," Sirius said sarcastically.
James rolled his eyes, ignoring the jibe.
Mary MacDonald entered the common room, looking tired and like she wanted to cry. She made her way to where they were standing slowly.
"Hi, Mary!" Marlene greeted brightly. "Are you okay?"
Mary nodded, giving a weak smile before turning to Lily. "Snape's loitering outside the common room and demanding to talk to you."
"I have no interest in talking to him," Lily replied coldly, eyes narrowing. "He has nothing to say that I want to hear."
Mary shrugged, looking distinctly uncomfortable and fidgeting.
"Um, he said something about staying outside until you came, just so you know. I'm uh going to bed, see you later." She added before fleeing.
Marlene frowned, her eyes still on Mary.
"I'll see you in a bit." She said, following Mary.
"Don't be late!" James called out. "There are children counting on us."
Sirius snorted. "Does that mean we're not children anymore? Cause I think Minnie would disagree."
James rolled his eyes, playfully shoving Sirius. "Speak about yourself. I'm an adult."
Alice laughed. "And yet Sirius is the one who's seventeen and not you."
James pulled a face. "Not my fault he doesn't act like it, and I do."
Lily rolled her eyes, somehow Ja- Potter's antics seemed amusing today and not annoying like usual. She shoved the thought away. It was probably because he was running this tutoring session and Lily was kicking herself for not thinking of something similar before him. And him having acted so oddly this year didn't help with her inability to stay annoyed at him.
"Right," James said. "I should go and make sure everything's ready before the students come."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's an empty classroom. What in Merlin's name could you have to do to make it 'ready'?"
"For once," Lily said, "Potter has the right idea. Better to be there and make sure the classroom is clean, see how many people will fit and organise his teaching resources. Besides, what if someone comes early and nobody's there?"
Sirius groaned. "There's two of you now. Somebody save me! We have enough classes to worry about without this one too!"
"Come on Padfoot, I can't carry all of these without dropping them. Help a mate out."
"I will," Sirius said, "after I find Peter and Remus. They've probably lost track of time and they'll miss the session if I don't find them."
Before James could reply, Sirius had rushed out of the common room and yelled at someone so loudly that a first-year had spilt ink all over his essay and burst into tears. James and Lily exchanged baffled looks.
"I'll help you, Potter." Lily sighed. She didn't particularly want to but for once, Potter was doing something she agreed with, and she would help him if no other reason than that she wanted this to succeed. If that meant working with Potter of all people then that's what she'd do.
Potter stared at her like he was seeing her for the first time.
"Er thanks Evans."
Lily nodded sharply, took some of the parchments and started walking. Potter caught up with her easily of course, having the advantage of being annoyingly tall.
"How many people do you reckon will show up?" He asked. "Sirius thinks a couple and Remus says about 5 or 6. Peter bets there'll be an even dozen for some reason he refuses to explain."
"It's the first time you're hosting this," Lily said as the Fat Lady swung open, "there probably won't be that many but then hopefully more people will start showing up once they hear about it."
"But how many do y'reck –"
"Lily!"
Snape glared at Potter before turning his eyes on Lily again beseechingly.
"Lily, just hear me out."
"You've got nothing to say I want to hear," Lily replied curtly.
"Lily, please, I'm begging you. Just one minute."
Lily cleared her throat. "I'll meet you in there Potter."
Potter opened his mouth, closed it, glanced at her before nodding and walking slowly away. Lily levitated the parchments she was holding to hover beside her.
"One minute."
"I know you hold grudges forever but please. I didn't mean to call you that and I was wrong to say…what I did about your parents. I was…my dad was…I didn't mean it."
Lily looked at her feet. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends – you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"
He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking, shaking his head.
"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've mine." Lily cut in.
"No – listen, I didn't mean –"
" – to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood? Why should I be any different?"
"I told you!" Snape yelled. "I'm sorry, Lily. You, of all people, know what it's like in Slytherin. Half-blood. Never good enough to fit in with all the other perfect purebloods."
"That doesn't excuse your actions! I can pity you, sympathise for you but–"
"Please. We've been friends for years. Just one more chance, Lily. I'll never call you that word again, I swear I didn't mean to."
Lily sighed, staring at the ceiling.
"You even forgave Potter," Snape spat. "And he's done worse to you than me."
"He has nothing to do with this and besides…he's been different this year."
"If you can forgive him, then why can't you forgive me?" Sev begged.
Lily stared at her feet guiltily. He had a point, somehow she had forgiven Potter this year. Sev had been her best friend for years, she'd known how hard it was for him…
"You ruined our potion. You were the reason he turned into an eight-year-old."
"And I helped with the antidote. Besides, I didn't mean to toss it in the potion, it was a stupid impulse and I shouldn't have done it."
"Fine," she sighed, suddenly exhausted of fighting. "We can try and rebuild a friendship but Sev, if you call anyone that word, and I mean anyone then I'm done with you for good."
"I won't, I swear."
Lily nodded. "I have to go but maybe we can study in the library together tomorrow?"
He smiled, slumping against the wall.
Marlene and Sirius tumbled out of the portrait hole and stopped in surprise when they saw her still standing there.
"Lily, I thought you'd be getting everything ready!" Marlene exclaimed, then her gaze fell to Severus who was glaring at Sirius.
"Sev and I made up," Lily said before Marlene could say anything. "If I can forgive Potter for everything then I can forgive him."
Sirius opened his mouth angrily but Marlene elbowed him sharply and he shut it, glaring at her.
"We're going to be late if we don't go to the classroom. Let's go before James explodes out of nervousness."
Sirius laughed. "He's acting like it's his first Quidditch match again, triple-checking everything."
Remus nearly crashed into Marlene and Sirius as he came out of the common room.
"Why are you loitering outside the common room? I nearly fell onto you."
Lily took that as a sign to say bye to Sev and rush with the others to the tutoring session.
"There you are," Potter muttered.
"James, breathe," Marlene demanded.
"I'm fine," He said, running a hand through his already messy hair, grinning though it looked forced.
To his credit though, Potter was fine as soon as a couple of third years entered, one of whom Lily vaguely recognised from the Gryffindor team. That must be David Russell.
As more people slowly trickled in, Lily couldn't help but glance at Potter who was laughing with some first or second-years and conjuring whatever they demanded. He had an easy-going charm to him that made the students like him, she could see why he was so popular besides his tendency to annoy people and creative mischief, chaos, and trouble wherever he went.
It wasn't the first time such thoughts had entered Lily's head, but it was the first time that she didn't immediately shove them.
After the session ended and the tutors and their pupils left, leaving only James and Lily behind, he smiled at her.
"So, Evans, agree that I'm better than Minnie at teaching?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.
Lily snorted. "You wish Potter. Teaching's not your forte though I'll admit you after seeing you today and well…even on the train ride before Christmas…you are good with the younger years."
Potter flushed. "A compliment and from you?" He said, in a tone that sounded like he was trying to joke and failing. He turned slightly so she couldn't see his face. "I must be dreaming."
Lily's smile faded. "Po- James…"
He turned, grinning at her and acting in general as if he hadn't just said all that.
Lily cleared her throat. "I forgave Severus."
James didn't reply. Lily licked her lips and tilted her head up to stare at the spot just behind James.
"The reason I'm telling you is...because I...well, I realised that I'd forgiven you. For the feud and the asking out and well, everything. You've…you've been different this year and I think…I think I could be friends with this version of James Potter."
He was staring at her as if he'd never seen her before. "I'd like that." He finally said. "I could be your friend."
Lily smiled shyly at him and stretched her hand. Potter shook it, still seeming shell-shocked.
Sunday 24th January
"I owe you an explanation," were the first words Narcissa uttered when Remus met her in an empty classroom.
He opened his mouth but Narcissa cut him off. "I'm so sorry about the articles. You know I don't agree with anything my father says and he…you ought to know about why I didn't tell you. Perhaps you should sit down."
Remus sat opposite Narcissa nervously. Was this it? The moment when she realised that she couldn't be friends with a monster like him anymore?
"I know I've been avoiding you," Narcissa said, twisting her hands on her lap. "But I didn't know how to face you after everything my father had said."
"You don't need to apologise for your father's beliefs. You are not him and he didn't say anything I haven't thought about myself before." Remus replied quickly.
Narcissa shook her head. "But you shouldn't have thought those things about yourself, Remus. My father…the witch he loved was bitten by a werewolf and it was ugly, or that's what I've heard. She survived the transformation but apparently lost her humanity and sanity and died within months. My father was engaged to her and after her death, he was persuaded to marry my mother. He's always hated werewolves and he blames them for what his life has been. Nobody knows about this outside of the family but you ought to know."
"Cissa,"
"There's more. I…I haven't just been avoiding you because I didn't know how to face you. That potions lesson where we brewed Amortentia…I realised something, and it scared me."
"Narcissa,"
"Let me finish or I'll never manage to say this," Narcissa pleaded, avoiding Remus's gaze. "I'll admit that when I first gave you the pain relief potion, I wanted to get revenge on my father for disowning Andromeda but befriending you, getting to know you. I never expected to fall in love with you. I love you, Remus."
"You do?" Remus asked. "But how? I'm dangerous, Cissa. I am a werewolf and –"
"And the wizard I love, and I cannot hear you say such things about himself. You have no choice, it is a curse, yes, but it does not change who you are."
Remus blinked tears away. "If you're going to be the Gryffindor amongst the two of us then I suppose I should admit I'm in love with you too. I never thought you could feel the same way about me. Never expected it."
"You're what?" Sirius yelled.
"I'm in love with Narcissa and she's in love with me," Remus replied calmly.
"You idiot. I warned you not to fall for her and you did it anyway."
"Sirius," James tried to calm the two down. "Cissa is a lovely witch, and Remus just said they love each other. Can't you just admit you were wrong about her?"
Sirius shot him a betrayed look.
"Well, don't come crying to me when she breaks your bloody heart," he sneered. "I warned you." And with that, he stormed out of their dormitory.
"Don't worry," James reassured. "He'll come around when he calms down."
Monday 1st February
Lily had never expected to be friends with both James and Severus and her friends were surprised at the friendships Lily now had with both of them. Especially, how she got along with James. But it wasn't as odd as Lily had expected.
James and she shared most of the same friends so their getting along definitely helped them all hang out as a group but it wasn't just then that Lily wanted to talk to him. James had always been funny, and if there was one thing that having been locked in a cupboard with him by Emilia Burke had proven was that Lily enjoyed conversing with James.
She found herself seeking him out and talking to him, being able to laugh freely at his jokes and teasing – it all just felt comfortable in an unexpected way. She liked being around him.
And as for Sev, she still spoke to him but it felt as if she was walking on eggshells around him and it must have been the same for him. Her busy schedule made it hard for them to spend much time together but she tried to study with him as often as possible to fill the void. Potions was fun again, working with Sev though. It had always been nice being able to compare theories and notes and having that back was nice. But Sev didn't like her new friendship with James and Lily was so tired of hearing about it.
Surprisingly, as far as James was concerned, Severus was a banned topic. He never broached him with her and Lily didn't find herself wanting to mention or talk about Sev with James or even any of her other friends. Sev had always been separate from her other friendships but now…it was even more of a blatant divide and maybe the worst thing was that Lily didn't care. She didn't care about figuring out how to make Sev get along with the others because it felt like Severus being there would just ruin something. It was a horrible fact that Lily tried to ignore.
Monday 15th February
Dear James and Sirius,
I hope you both are well.
I am so pleased to share that Andromeda gave birth to her daughter yesterday. Both are doing well and Ted and Andromeda couldn't be happier. They could be happier if the whole name debacle hadn't happened, but I'll let your mother get to that part. The two of you will no doubt find this hilarious but there was a small incident with their daughter's name. I was not present there, but we visited Andromeda and Ted last night when Andromeda was still fuming.
They had decided to call the baby Elladora, a beautiful name which gave the child ties to her Black ancestry. Unfortunately, as you are aware, the naming of a child is magically binding and Ted accidentally mentioned something about her being like a nymph and then coughing as he said the chosen name. Your mother takes too long sometimes. They've named her Nymphadora Tonks. Their daughter has accidentally been named Nymphadora Charlotte Tonks. Charlotte after Ted's mother.
Andromeda is much calmer now after we explained how this is a happy accident since the name is both new but still has that tie. Elladora, Callidora, Dorea, you get the gist. No doubt, Sirius knows the family tree better than me and can give ten more examples. Still, I would appreciate it if the pair of you make no clever quips to Andromeda.
Stay safe and write soon,
All my (she means our) love,
Mother and Dad
Friday 26th February
"Well it's official, I'm getting married over the Easter holidays." Emilia declared to Narcissa after reading her latest letter from home.
"So soon?" Narcissa questioned.
Emilia shrugged. "My father wants me settled as soon as possible. I'll be signing the contract in Hogsmeade tomorrow and meeting Cygnus for the first time."
"No courting period."
"I have a month or so. I presume we'll court via post if Cygnus wishes to. I don't mind either way. It won't change the fact I'll be marrying him."
Narcissa had no words, especially not after Emilia had seen her recent happiness of being together with Remus, albeit it being informally.
So, she smiled, nodded and hugged Emilia as soon as they were in private later that day.
Saturday 27th February
Somehow, Lily found herself alone with James in Hogsmeade. It'd all started innocently enough with their group of friends all going together. But Remus disappeared soon after they arrived and Marlene had encouraged Peter to take Mary (who Marlene had insisted join them) to the Shrieking Shack which she'd apparently never seen before. Then when Lily said she needed to restock on quills, Marlene had dragged Sirius to buy herself some 'much needed' sugar quills.
So, Lily found herself glancing at James who shrugged. They walked together towards Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop and chatted about their horrible friends who abandoned them.
"It was all Marlene's doing too," James noted. "She sent off MacDonald and Peter together after Remus disappeared."
"Do you think she's trying to matchmake?" Lily asked.
James stumbled to a stop. "What?"
"Peter and Mary – I think Marlene's playing at matchmaker."
An odd expression crossed James' face before vanishing as he started walking again. "Maybe. She has taken MacDonald under her wing since she met her, hadn't she."
Lily hummed in agreement. It was true, Marlene was spending more time with Mary MacDonald, usually when Alice was busy with Frank and Lily off to meet with Sev.
James opened the door for her, and Lily smiled at him before stepping inside.
Lily quickly grabbed the quills she needed and paid for them and then they headed back outside.
"Fancy a butterbeer?" James asked.
"As long as it's the Three Broomsticks."
James laughed. "I've never been to the Hog's Head, have you?"
Lily nodded. "Once, with Sev back in third year. We went inside every shop in Hogsmeade well besides the Shrieking Shack but that's not a shop, is it."
"What was it like?"
"Dusty," Lily laughed. "And grimy. We left as soon as we entered."
James opened the door for her again. Had he always done such nice gestures around her? Lily couldn't remember.
It was noisy and warm inside and Lily craned her neck, trying to see if she could spot an empty table.
James said something but she only caught a few words. He moved his head closer to her ear so she could hear him.
"I'll grab the butterbeers, you find a table."
Lily nodded and watched him leave before shaking her head slightly and squeezing past the other students in an attempt to find a table.
She waved and nodded to classmates, and people she recognised, and grinned at Alice who raised her firewhiskey in her direction. Luckily, she found a small table for two near the back and grabbed it.
She took off her outer robes and made herself comfy to wait for James.
James couldn't believe he was here, practically on a date with Lily Evans, the love of his life. No, not a date. They were friends and James had to remember that. Just because she'd forgiven him, didn't mean she'd want to date him and if he asked her and she said no…it could ruin their friendship.
And James loved being her friend. It just felt right and easy. Lily was smart and witty and being friends was far better than feuding with her or crushing on her. It was almost as good as he imagined dating her would be. For the first time in a long time, James Potter couldn't help but hope that maybe one day, she'd love him too. If she could forgive him then maybe she could fall in love with him, could want to date him, want him to ask her out.
But being her friend now had made one thing clear. James definitely wouldn't be able to bear it if she rejected him again so that meant balancing that hope with trying to protect his heart. And that was the real tricky part.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this and I'd love to hear your thoughts! :)