Chapter Six

Since Spike had moved into the apartment Angel had opened the frontdoor after getting back from work to numerous scenarios. There had been poker games, and pizza boxes thrown about the place like a pizza box factory had exploded. There had been Harmony and Spike perched at a table covered in shooter glasses as they tried and mixed everything in the blood range that was stocked like some kind of satanic wine tasting event. There had been loud raucous music and classical music that had very quickly been switched to loud raucous music as Angel made himself heard coming out of the lift. But Angel until then had never come back to find Spike blubbering on the couch.

Angel took a step back into the hallway as if to make sure that it was the right room. He turned around and saw the lift door, turned around and saw the apartment door. Spike continued to make noises like some kind of congested hedgehog until Angel sighed, squared his shoulders and entered into the war zone.

Angel walked in and shut the door, going over to the couch in order to hover and feel completely ineffectual. 'Spike? Spike. What's wrong?'

There was a wet snort and a face damp with various liquids looked up. 'I ate babies!'

'What!' Angel said flustered and perplexed, frowning and looking about the apartment. 'What? You just ate babies?'

'No, not now you enormous moronic cretin, back when. Back when I was a soulless...baby eater!' As if the realisation was fresh once more, that he had in fact been a merry soulless baby muncher, Spike's face crumpled in horror. 'Oh god!'

Angel breathed a sigh of relief, perching himself on the edge of the couch and laying a tentative hand on Spike's shoulder. He saw Spike quickly looking for a place to dry his face on his damp looking t-shirt and quickly pushed a tissue box over. 'It's okay, Spike. It's just the pregnancy hormones doing this, you'll be fine.' There was more patting of shoulders and more frantic nudging over of the tissue box.

'I ate BABIES, Angel, this is not fucking pregnancy hormones. This is the fact that I took these tiny, precious, beautiful bundles of purity and innocence and turned them into portable snack packs! That's what's upsetting me you right twat!' Spike made a face of disgust. 'Okay, maybe hormones have got a bit to do with it, but what kind of father can I be, Angel? How can we raise this kid, being what we are? Knowing what we've done?'

Spike's word lay uncomfortably close to whatAngel quietly thought in moodier times. Not that he had pregnancy as an excuse. 'What we were, not what we are.', Angel said.'The souls changed us, Spike, made us better, made us more.' Angel added a squeeze to the hand he had on Spike's shoulder and realised with relief that Spike had stopped dripping everywhere. 'I'm not saying that we're going to be perfect dads, but I am saying that we're going to love this kid with everything that we've got. That no matter what we're going to do our best. That will be there to help each other with this. That we're not alone.' Angel almost felt he should be listening for the violins to start playing.

Spike smiled tremulously, nodded his head, felt his lip tremble and burst into tears again. 'Oh fucking hell, mate. Tell you what, it is the bleedin hormones!' Spike sniffled unhappily. 'Christ, if I keep this up my dicks going to shrivel up and I'm going to be wearing a C cup by the time the nippers born.'

'That would be a waste,' Angel murmur.

Spike raised a questioning eyebrow.

'Well what with you not having much to spare in that department in the first place', Angel quickly explained.

'Piss off tosser,' Spike snipped back, happier now that he was on familiar territory. 'Do you wanna watch some telly with me?' Spike picked up the remote and settled back into the couch.

'Yeah, sure. As long as you don't start crying through it all so I can't hear any of it.'

'How about I punch you in the nuts, that way you can sit here and cry with me?'

Angel snorted and looked over at Spike from the corner of his eye. 'How about I buy you a new car.' he blurted.

Spike put down the remote and turned to look at Angel full on, a knowing smile on his face. 'You feeling guilty, mate?'

'Not guilty just…do you want one or not.'

'I'm not saying no to pressies, so yeah, you're on. We can go shopping tomorrow. I'm thinking red, racy and very, veryexpensive.' Spike gave Angel a broad if somewhat watery grin as Angel replied with a small smile of his own as his wallet twinged in alarm.

Spike went back happily to the television as Angel settled next to him on the couch, avoiding the scraps of tissues that were littered about the place. Crisis averted and Angel felt almost smug at his people handling skills, though of course there was the concern that if Spike kept this up it could end up being an incredibly costly exercise. He decided later to recount the days left for financial reasons.

'Spike? Why are we watching lesbian S&M porn?'

'Because there was nothing else on and you can apparently get more than just baby furniture delivered,' Spike replied with a happy smirk.

'You are one very disturbed vampire.' Angel suddenly had a horrified thought of Harmony and Spike sitting about ordering porn together on the work computer. He hoped to god that Spike didn't have Harmony in on this, he didn't dare enter the staffroom as it was. And hang on, whose credit card wouldSpike have used? Angel realised that the finance division was now also out of limits.

Spike snuck a hand out, snagging Angel's into his own stopping any questions. 'Don't you know it mate. Now hush, this is the bit where the policewoman interrogates the busty burglar with her baton.'

'That's not a baton, Spike.' Angel collapsed back into the couch and watched a rather unconvincing interrogation as he held hands with his pregnant male family member. It was a strange life that he led, he mused, but he couldn't help but twitch a lip in happiness.