The class ended with the ritual bowing out ceremony. Liz felt that Ben held her hand a little longer than was required, and when she raised her eyes slightly, he seemed to be gazing at her. She made her way down the length of other students, keeping her eyes averted from Michael where he stood next to the door. Ben bowed out the last student, and class ended.
Liz walked to her bag, took out a towel and began to rub her face. Ben walked over, and asked her to wait for him in a low voice, then he followed Michael out of the room. A great sigh of relief seemed to wash over the room. The students stood in groups of two and three, talking about their visitor. Liz sat by the wall, waiting for Ben to return.
Ben stood just outside the doorway, talking to Michael in a low voice. Over Michael's shoulder, he watched Liz as she sat in the classroom. She reached up and tucked a strand of her short reddish brown hair behind her ear. Michael finished what he had to say, and then he walked away. Ben stayed in the hall, still watching Liz. The students seemed almost giddy after the restraint that they had shown while their visitor observed them. Liz laughed at something someone said to her, her brown eyes crinkling at the corners. She stood up then, mimicking a fight with the other student, and Ben was struck again with how young she was.
Later, she walked behind him silently, following his slightly limping gait. She could tell his knee was bothering him by the way he favored it as he walked. He stopped at the doorway, turned and motioned her to go into the room first.
He closed the door behind them, then went to stand by the window. She joined him, and reached over to touch his hand where it rested on the windowsill.
"It went well," he said.
"It did?" she asked, with a note of hopefulness in her voice.
"Yes, couldn't you tell?"
She flexed her shoulders, and rolled her head around.
"I wasn't sure what he wanted."
"He wanted to see if you're ready to move up to Section to complete your training. I guess you are, because he told me the test will be next week."
"He was so hard on me. I wasn't used to it," she said.
"It's not supposed to be easy. I'm hard on you too sometimes."
"But not like that."
He turned from the window and walked to the couch, the limp was quite evident now. She followed him easily, and sank to the floor in front of him, her hands lightly resting on his knee.
"Can I massage it for you?" she said.
He winced as he shifted his leg up on to a stool.
"No, just leave it be for now. I'll take the brace off in a while and go to the whirlpool."
She settled more comfortably on the floor.
"What will happen next?"
"Well," he slouched back on the couch; "He'll test you next week. It will be like a test for your next rank in Karate. If you pass, you'll leave this level, and train with a Section Operative. You might even train with him. There's more to Section than kicking and punching.
"I have to leave you?" A stricken look appeared on her face.
He reached out a hand and stroked her hair.
"You don't want to?"
She dipped her head down, resting her cheek against his good knee.
"No."
"Why not?" he continued to stroke her hair.
She was silent at first, pushing fibers of the carpet around. Finally she looked up at him.
"I like seeing you every day. I," she paused. Her voice sounded strained, as if there was a lump in her throat. "I like you."
A slow smile crept across his face.
"Do you now?"
"Ben, please don't make fun of me."
"I'm not making fun of you."
"It sounded like you were."
"No. I thought you were going to say you wanted to stay with me because I'm easy on you. People don't usually 'like' their martial arts instructor."
"You're not easy on me. I told you that. Maybe I thought Michael was harder because I don't like him."
He held his finger to her lips.
"Don't say you don't like him. You can think that, but don't say it; someone may hear you and tell him. He's going to assume that none of you like him, but if he hears you say it, he'll think you don't respect him. If he thinks you don't respect him, he'll make your life miserable."
"I'm sorry sir," she said.
"You don't call me sir in here, remember? In here, I'm just Ben."
She nodded, then looked down at the floor again.
"So, what do you mean when you say you like me?"
She shrugged her shoulders.
"Well I mean, do you like me as a friend or as more than a friend?"
"More," she mumbled.
"Liz," he lifted her chin so she was looking at him. "You have to speak louder. I can't hear what you're saying. It's ok, I don't think you're being disrespectful. We're two people talking now, not instructor and student."
"I like you as more than a friend. I think about you at night and wish we were together." As she said this, a flush crept up her cheeks.
There was a silence for a time then. The only sounds were the bubbles in the fish tank, and farther away the muffled sounds of a Karate class going on. The weight of the words hung in the air, almost visible like smoke.
"Come here," he said, raising her to her feet, and pulling her toward him. She sat next to him on the couch, leaning her head against his chest. He put his arm around her.
"When you go to him, it will be easier for us to be together. I won't be your instructor anymore so we can be friends. I'm not Section material; they made that clear to me years ago. I'll always be here, behind the scenes, training their recruits."
She relaxed at his words, and raised her hand to his chest. The top of his gi was open slightly, and he didn't have a shirt on under it. She traced the twisting pattern of the dragon tattoo on his chest. He had told her once that it was a souvenir of Hong Kong.
"I wish we didn't have to wait, I want to be with you right now," she said at last.
"You are with me right now," he said.
"No, I mean, well you know."
Behind her head he smiled. An invisible shiver went down his spine.
"I don't know," he whispered.
The sounds from the classroom had faded. The room was getting darker as the sun went down. They hadn't turned the lights on.
She sighed, and laid the palm of her hand flat against his chest.
"I want to make love with you," she said at last.
His arms tightened around her, and he brushed the top of her head with his lips.
"I want that too, but not until after the test. Until then, you're still my student."
"I can't wait Ben."
The catch in her voice sent a real shiver down his spine. Knowing it was wrong, he turned her so she faced him and he kissed her. His hand at her waist untied her belt and the front of her gi. He slipped his hand up her body, impatiently pushing the shirt she wore under it aside. The kisses deepened, and she moaned.
"Stop," he said, breathlessly.
"What?"
"We have to stop," he said. "This isn't right."
She stood up, gathering the gi together in front of her, and walked to the desk. To cover her embarrassment, she turned the light on, and sat in the desk chair.
He stood up and limped over to where she sat. He leaned against the desk, and put his hand on her arm.
"Soon enough," he said.
She nodded and looked up at him.
"I have to go to the whirlpool now," he said.
She nodded again.
"Tomorrow, we'll start practicing for your test," he said.
"Ben," she said, putting a hand up on his arm. "I love you."
He stood up, and pulled her up into his arms, and held her tightly.
Liz stood in the hallway along with the other students, mentally preparing for the test. She looked in the doorway, Michael and Ben stood inside the classroom, side by side, a contrast in light and dark.
Michael was wearing a black gi; the top tucked into the bottom, making it look like a jumpsuit. His long auburn hair was tied back at the top of his head. His green eyes looked as hard as emeralds. He was doing some stretches, in preparation for taking the recruits through the test.
Ben was dressed in a white gi. His normally easy-going demeanor was gone today, hiding behind the mask of the grim black belt he was. His hair was short, brown with blonde streaks at the top of his head. His intense blue eyes had turned slate gray. She wasn't sure if it was out of anger, or just concentration.
The students filed into the classroom one by one, and took their positions. Both Ben and Michael stood at the front of the class. Ben stood with his arms crossed, watching their faces. It was his job to help with the test, but the final decision rested with Michael. All the recruits started with a year of martial arts classes. Section felt the intense training and discipline of martial arts would prepare the recruits for the rigorous training they would expect to find during their two years of Section training. Ben's eyes lingered on Liz, but she kept her eyes straight ahead as she had been trained.
"Everyone line up, attention stance," said Ben.
Michael remained motionless, watching them without moving his head.
"Today you will be tested for admission to Section training. It will be similar to the tests you've taken to achieve your next belt ranks. Some of you will not pass. Those of you who do will be joining Michael downstairs in Section."
Michael began to walk in among the students as Ben continued his speech.
"When either I or Michael give a command, you will execute it. If you do not, you will drop and do 20 pushups. You will not look at either Michael or me. If you do, you will do pushups. You will keep your eyes straight ahead."
Michael stopped in front of each student to see if any eyes shifted.
"Everyone in this room will give one hundred percent effort. If you do not, you will be asked to leave, and you will not return to this class. You will begin your training over from the start, is that clear?"
"Yes sir," they all answered together.
"Then let's get started. I will call out a drill, and Michael will be circulating the room. If you are not performing up to his standards, you will drop and do pushups, do you understand?"
"Yes sir."
Ben began calling off the drill, and Michael walked amongst the students. He had one student drop because his legs weren't bent, another because his stance was wrong. He reduced one girl to tears because she wasn't shouting loud enough.
Finally, he came to stand by Liz as she did a series of punches. He held his hand out to test the strength of her punches.
"Not hard enough, drop," he said.
For a fraction of a second her eyes shifted to Ben. Michael circled around her as she completed the pushups. He watched Ben's face as he tested the strength of her punches again.
"Drop," he said. This time he was watching Ben. There was a slight hesitation before he changed the drill to kicks. When Liz stood up again, Michael was right in front of her, so their eyes met.
"Stop," he shouted. "Miss Collins. Where are you supposed to be looking?"
"Straight ahead sir," she said.
"Do you find that difficult to do?"
"No sir."
"No? Then why have your eyes strayed twice?"
She didn't answer, but tears welled up in her eyes.
"Who is in charge of this test? Am I or is Mr. Green?"
"You are sir."
"Fine. Drop and do 40 pushups. When you are finished, you will go stand against that wall, facing away from us in a horse stance and decide if you wish to continue the test. Do you understand me?"
"Yes sir," she choked out.
Michael was observing Ben as he said this, and noted the grimace. Liz completed the pushups then went to stand where Michael had indicated.
When Michael was satisfied that the drills were complete, he had the rest of the students join Liz at the wall. He motioned for Ben to join him on the other side of the room.
"What is she to you?" Michael asked.
"Who?"
"The girl, Collins."
"A recruit sir."
Michael studied Ben's face, then turned away.
"Have them continue with techniques."
"As I call your name, you will come forward and display the techniques I call out. If you do not know the technique, you will do one that you do know. If you do nothing, you will do pushups and return to the wall."
One by one he called them out, leaving Liz until the very end. She performed every technique flawlessly. Next, they performed Kata; once again Liz was flawless.
"Now we will spar, everyone pad up," Michael said when all the students had performed Kata. As the students turned to put on their sparring pads, Michael turned to Ben.
"You pad up too," he said.
Ben hesitated for a moment, then turned to put on his sparring pads.
Michael paired the students up. Each pair sparred three matches, tournament style. The last pair up was Ben and Liz.
They began tentatively at first, and then Ben came in with a jab that knocked Liz to the floor. He came forward to help her to her feet.
"You ok?" he said in a low voice as he helped her up.
"Yes sir," she said.
They began to spar in earnest, and she held her own. Finally, Ben kicked just as she was leaning forward so his foot caught her in the solar plexus, knocking her to the floor winded.
It was Michael who lifted her up and raised her arms over her head.
"Breathe," he said, holding her upright. His eyes met Ben's over Liz' head. Ben's eyes narrowed slightly.
When Liz was breathing normally again, he told the students to remove their pads, return to their original positions and kneel on the floor with their eyes closed.
He and Ben left the room.
"What was that all about?" Ben asked.
"There is more between you and the girl Collins than you are admitting."
"Why do you say that?"
"The first time I told her to do pushups she looked at you."
"That's normal. She rarely does pushups in my class."
"You are too easy on her."
"No," Ben said exasperation evident in his voice. "She's very good and usually doesn't need disciplining."
Michael turned and walked down the hall. When he turned back he stared at Ben through narrowed eyes.
"I'm going to pass them all but one."
"Which one?" Ben asked, standing stiffly in front of Michael, a muscle twitching in his jaw.
Michael delayed his answer, knowing it bothered Ben.
"Bennett," he said at last.
Ben relaxed and let his breath out slowly.
"Ok, I can agree with that. She needs more work."
They began to walk back down the hall toward the classroom.
"I want them all to stay with you another week. I will be ready for them next week."
"Ok, that will make the transition easier for Bennett," said Ben.
"It also means you'll have to wait another week to get Collins into your bed."
"What?" Ben said and stopped walking.
"I'm not blind," said Michael.
Ben shook his head, then laughed.
"No sir, I guess you aren't."
They sat together in Ben's darkened office after the test was over. Her fatigue was so great, she felt herself trembling. Ben put his arms around her, supporting her.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Sore," she said.
"I'm sorry I knocked the wind out of you," he said, lightly running his hand over her back.
"I'm not," she said.
"Why?"
"Because Michael was suspicious when he saw me look at you. I'm sure that's why he made me spar with you. He wanted to see if you'd be easy on me."
"You're very perceptive," he said with a laugh. "He said pretty much the same to me during the test."
They sat in silence then.
"Am I a high enough rank for a whirlpool now?" she said at last.
Ben chuckled, and tightened his arm around her.
"Yes, but you'll have to wait until you get down to Section."
In no time at all, six months had gone by. Much to Liz' dismay, she was assigned to Michael. She was his "material" as he coldly told her.
The first day they had been together had been sheer torture. He had quietly led her into a white room, and closed the door behind them. He seated her in the chair, and manacled her arms and legs. As she sat watching him, struggling to remain calm, he circled around her.
"Why are you here?" he asked, never pausing in his pacing.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
Liz craned her neck to try to see him as he walked behind her.
"So you can train me?"
Michael stopped just behind her right shoulder, just out of her line of vision.
"Don't answer my question with a question." He spoke softly. "Why are you in Section?"
She sat still, willing herself to remain calm.
"Surely you know that already."
Michael began to pace again, not making eye contact with her as he walked in front of her.
"Elizabeth, you will not get anywhere by avoiding my questions."
"You can call me Liz," she said.
Michael stopped directly in front of her, placing his hands over the manacles that held her arms. His face was close to hers, mere inches away. He stared directly into her eyes for the first time since entering the room.
"You will treat me with the same respect you offered Mr. Green. If you do not, it's easy enough to have him put in abeyance." He paused, allowing the words to sink in. "You will tell me, now, why you are in Section." He never raised his voice, but the deadly quiet was more frightening to her.
"I killed someone," she said.
Michael straightened up then, and resumed pacing around her as she sat in the chair. Liz hung her head, and continued the story. She was sure he had read all this in her file, and felt humiliated that he was asking her to repeat it.
"I was high. My friends and I were working the streets."
"Doing what?" he said.
"Hustling," she said, color creeping across her cheeks.
"Continue," he said.
"We picked up a guy, and took him to a hotel room. I don't really know what happened next, but when the cops came, I was alone with him, covered in blood with a knife in my hand. They said I kept screaming 'Stop it, stop it.' I really don't remember what happened."
Michael stood against the wall now, watching her.
"What do you think happened Elizabeth?" he said.
"I think I must have stabbed him."
"Why?"
"Why what? Why did I stab him?" she said.
"No, why do you think you stabbed him?"
Liz let out her breath in exasperation. He wasn't making this easy on her. She closed her eyes, and hung her head forward, then said in an undertone,
"I was high."
"It's possible you didn't stab him," he said, starting to circle her again. "After your trial, your friend was arrested in an unrelated case. She testified that she had stabbed the man, and that you were yelling at her to stop it."
Liz' head came up at this, her mouth open in surprise.
"Why didn't someone tell me?" she said.
"You were already 'dead'."
She remembered now how sick she had felt when he told her this. He had loosened the manacles, and walked out of the room, leaving her to follow. In time, she learned that he had told her that to test her. It was true enough, but he wanted to see if she was truly Section material. The fact that she seemed to be unaffected by his revelations, after they had had time to sink in, showed that her preliminary training with Ben had hardened her to the fact that Section was her life now.
Now, as she sat in front of the computer, working on yet another of the endless programs Michael had given her, her mind drifted to Ben. In the whole time she'd been ensconced, imprisoned really, in Section, she had not been given the opportunity to see Ben. She wondered how he was, and more importantly, wondered if he thought about her too.
She was excelling in her Section training. She did well in all aspects, except Michael's high standards for studying these computer programs. He would set out scenarios, and she had to plot results. He always seemed to be having her redo the programs.
Michael approached her silently from behind as she sat daydreaming about Ben; her hands idle on the keyboard.
"Is there a problem?" His voice startled her, and she turned quickly toward him.
"You startled me," she said.
"You should always be aware, even while sitting here at a computer terminal."
"I'm tired, I haven't been sleeping well at night," she said.
"Why not?"
She turned to look at him.
"Michael, I want to see Ben."
"No," he said.
"What do you mean no?"
"You are to focus on Section now, forget about Ben. Your priority is to learn these codes, and I can see you're having a problem with them."
"I was under the impression I would be able to see Ben now that I'm not his student anymore."
Michael stepped closer to her, bending forward and correcting a mistake on her computer screen. He turned his head so he was looking her straight in the eye, and spoke in a low voice.
"If I find out that Ben has overstepped his boundaries in any way by making untoward promises to you, I will have him put in abeyance. You are to forget about him, and practice these codes until you can execute them flawlessly."
He stood up then, and backed away.
She turned back to the terminal, and began the program again. Michael stood watching her for a time, then silently walked away.
After a while, she shut down the terminal, then walked away down into one of the long halls that honeycombed through Section. When she was out of sight of the main area, she was grabbed from behind, a hand placed over her mouth. At first, she thought it was just Michael tormenting her again. Then she realized that it was a woman who held her.
At the doorway of a room, she was twisted around, and she found herself staring into Nikita's intense gaze.
"You better not scream," Nikita said.
Liz nodded her head, and Nikita took her hand away from her mouth, opened the door, and shoved Liz into the room. Liz stumbled, but managed to regain her balance. Nikita locked the door behind them, then stood leaning against the door, her eyes locked on Liz.
Liz had seen Nikita around Section before. She was somewhat of a hero to the new recruits; her rise to success was legend. Liz wondered what Nikita could possibly want with her that necessitated locking her in a room.
"You think you're special, don't you?" Nikita finally said.
"Me?" Liz said.
"Yeah, you."
"No. I don't know what you mean."
"You must think you're pretty special, working with Michael."
"Special, hardly. I think I'm in hell."
Nikita cocked her head to the side, a questioning look on her face.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't like Michael." As she said this, she remembered Ben's warning, never admit you don't like Michael. She stood nervously watching Nikita. Would she tell? Would her life become even more miserable than it was?
"You're lying," Nikita said, pushing away from the door and walking towards Liz.
"No, Nikita, I'm not," Liz said, backing away. "He's a miserable cold man, and I think he enjoys tormenting me. I look forward to the day I don't have to be tied to him anymore."
Nikita began to circle her; the same way Michael had done the first time he questioned her. Liz stood nervously, willing herself to remain still. Finally, Nikita stopped, took her by the arm and led her over to sit on some crates in the corner of the room.
"It looks to me like Michael is smitten with you. He treats you exactly the same way he treated me when I was first assigned to him. I don't know, I guess I thought you were encouraging him."
Liz turned her head, Nikita looked sad.
"Nikita," she said. "I shouldn't have told you that I don't like Michael. Please don't repeat that to anyone." She dropped her head down; staring at her hands folded in her lap.
"But, you don't like him."
"I know, but Ben said I should never admit that. He said if Michael knew he'd make my life even more difficult. I can't imagine things being more difficult than they already are."
Liz looked thoroughly miserable now; her shoulders slumped forward, her head hanging low. Nikita put her arm around Liz, and gave her a quick hug.
"I'm going to be honest with you, and we'll keep this conversation between us. I love Michael, I think I always have. I don't completely understand why he is the way he is, and he hurts me regularly, but I can't help loving him. When you came, I felt I was losing him. It took me a while to figure it out. He ignores me now, and focuses all his attention on you."
"You can have him. Maybe I should tell him I'm not interested in him that way."
"No," Nikita said, "Ben is right. If you tell him, it will only be worse."
"What should I do then?"
"Unfortunately, all you can do is grin and bear it. I'll try harder at distracting him away from you. Maybe I can get Ops to reassign you to me."
Liz still sat hunched forward, looking melancholy.
"What's wrong?" Nikita asked her, reaching out to push Liz' hair aside.
A tear rolled down Liz' face.
"I miss Ben," she said.
"Ben from upstairs? The Karate instructor?"
Liz reached a hand up, impatiently rubbing her face.
"Yeah."
"Why don't you go see him then?"
"Michael won't let me."
"He won't?"
"No, says I'm not focused enough on my computer programs. I guess he thinks Ben will distract me." She turned to look at Nikita. "He won't though. Nikita, you love Michael, well, I love Ben. I've wanted to be with him since he was my instructor, but he said it wasn't allowed. He said we could be together when I left his class."
Nikita sat in silence for a minute, then gave Liz another quick hug.
"I'll talk to Ops. I don't know why Michael won't let you see Ben. It's not against policy for recruits to visit their initial trainers. You might have questions for him, right?"
Liz smiled, hope shining through on her face.
"You'd do that for me?" she said.
"Yeah," Nikita said. "We're in this together. I can't promise anything, but I'll try."
"Thanks Nikita."
Another six months went by, and Liz didn't notice much of a change. Michael still tormented her, and she still wasn't allowed to see Ben. She didn't ask about it anymore, as it seemed to anger Michael every time she brought it up. Liz saw Nikita sometimes, and though Nikita would smile at her, they never had a chance to talk privately. Liz knew Nikita had tried, and been thwarted.
One afternoon, Liz sat huddled at the computer, a steaming mug of coffee in her hand. She hadn't been sleeping well again, and this particular day she felt sick. She just couldn't seem to make her eyes focus on the screen. Finally, she closed her eyes.
"We have a meeting with Operations," Michael said as he approached her from behind.
Liz jumped, and coffee spilled out of the top of the mug on to her hand.
"Shit," she said involuntarily, setting the mug down, and putting her sore hand into her mouth.
"What did I tell you about remaining alert?" Michael said, as he took her hand in his, examining it.
Her nerves were stretched to the maximum; she pulled her hand away from him.
"What the hell could possibly happen to me while sitting in this prison?" she said, putting her hand back into her mouth.
"Look at me," he said. "If you slack in here, you may slack out there."
She didn't respond.
"Are you feeling well?" he asked.
"No," she said.
"What is wrong?"
"You," she said.
He didn't say anything at first, but his head moved backwards a fraction of an inch, and his eyes widened slightly.
"We have a meeting with Operations. Go to your quarters and clean yourself up," he said.
"A meeting with Operations? When?"
"As soon as you're ready, but you better hurry."
Within fifteen minutes, she was back, and they walked together up to Operations' "perch". She was nervous, wringing her hands. Michael reached over and put his hand over hers as he reached up and keyed in the code to open the door.
Liz hadn't been to Operations' office before, and was unprepared for the welcome that awaited her. Operations was looking at some data on his computer screen, and did not look up at first. Liz and Michael entered the room, and stood side by side.
Finally, Operations looked up, a smile on his face.
"Elizabeth, it's good to meet you face to face. I've heard a lot about your progress from Michael. I've been pleased with his reports."
The relief flooded her like a bolt of adrenaline, and she swayed slightly. The color began to seep back into her cheeks, and she even smiled a little.
"Thank you, sir," she said.
"In fact, I haven't seen a candidate with such promise in a long time. Your ability to run the simulated computer programs is second to none."
Liz turned her head slightly, and studied Michael out of the corner of her eye. Had he been hard on her unnecessarily, or had his pressure on her caused her to perform so well?
"We're prepared to accelerate your training. Starting next week, you will be assigned to Michael's team, and complete any missions they are assigned. You will be on probationary status, but I expect you to become a full fledged Operative within a few months."
"That's amazing," was all she could manage.
"Why? You've been doing all the work. Surely Michael gave you some indication of how well you were doing?" Operations looked from Liz to Michael.
"No sir, he's pretty reserved," she said.
Operations smirked, but did not remark on that comment.
"I'm prepared to offer you a 'treat' in recognition of your performance. Is there anything you would care for?"
"Anything?" Liz said.
"Within reason, of course," Operations replied.
"I'd like to see Ben," she said.
"Ben?" Operations looked puzzled.
"My Karate instructor. From upstairs."
"That's not much of a treat. You've always had access to him, I was thinking more along the lines of a special dinner, new clothes, something like that."
"Excuse me?" she said, turning to look Operations straight in the eye. "I've always had access to Ben?"
"Well, yes of course. We allow recruits the opportunity to visit their initial trainers. You should have asked Michael, he could have arranged the visit for you."
Liz purposely kept her eyes averted from Michael.
"Michael told me I was not allowed to see Ben. He also told me he would have Ben canceled if I persisted in trying to see him," she said.
"Ben can't be canceled, he's not a Section Operative." Operations looked over to where Michael stood against the wall.
Liz turned then, and walked over to where Michael stood. She walked almost casually, not making eye contact with him. She stood to one side of him, pretending to look over his shoulder out the window that overlooked the main part of Section below.
Without warning, she spun around, catching his legs in a classic sweeping movement, dropping him to the floor. She fell on top of him, pinning his arms to the floor, her face inches away from his.
"You cold heartless bastard," she said, quietly enough for only him to hear. "You've been playing with me this whole time."
"It made you strong," he said, allowing her to keep him pinned to the floor.
"I hate you," she said.
Michael did not respond, but his eyes widened as he looked at her.
Operations came up to stand next to them, reaching his hand down to help Liz up. Behind her back, he seemed to take pleasure in seeing his top Operative laid out on the floor. He turned on his heel, leaving Michael to get up by himself.
"I'd like to spend the weekend with Ben, that's all I want," she said.
"Of course. I'll expect you back here Monday morning," he said.
Liz turned and walked out the door, never turning back. Operations and Michael moved to the observation window. She walked straight to the elevator that led upstairs, and didn't look back even as the doors closed.
Liz stood by the side of the classroom, behind Ben as he finished up his class. He hadn't seen her yet. It was good to see him again, to give life to her memories. He looked almost boyish, although she knew he was several years older than she was.
"Ok, everyone, good class. Get some rest tonight, tomorrow we'll be sparring," he said.
He turned toward her, his hair tousled on top as if he had been practicing techniques with his students. She remembered pulling his hair in that one technique they learned. It had become her favorite, simply because she liked touching his hair. They stood staring at one another as the students filed out of the classroom.
"Liz," he said. He didn't approach her, but stood almost rooted to the floor.
"Ben," she said. "I don't," she paused.
"Come to my office," he said. He walked out the door, and she followed him down the hall. She noticed that he still limped, and it seemed more pronounced now.
He opened the door, and allowed her to enter the room first. She stood uncertainly inside the room, watching him limp across to the desk. He turned on the light, then turned to stand by the window.
"Are you mad at me?" she said at last.
"Mad? No. Why haven't you come to visit before this?" He kept his back to her, his hand resting on the windowsill.
She walked to him, putting her arm around his waist. He turned to look at her and saw tears coursing silently down her cheek.
"What?" he said, concerned. "What's wrong?"
"He wouldn't let me come. Told me he'd cancel you if I asked again."
Ben turned and put his arms around her.
"He can't cancel me," he said, stroking her hair.
"I know that now. Oh Ben, I missed you so much. All I could do at night was think about you. I couldn't even sleep."
They stood, swaying together, both crying. Finally, she stood up straight.
"We should sit down, your knee must be bothering you."
"How long can you stay?" he asked.
"All weekend. Apparently I'm doing really well; Operations gave me the weekend off. Said I could have a 'treat'."
"Let's go to my quarters," he said.
In his room, they sat side by side on the bed; their heads bent close together, as if they thought someone was listening.
"Tell me everything," he said.
"I was assigned to Michael. The first thing he told me is that I may not have committed the murder I was accused of. That set the tone of our relationship. He was always tormenting me. I'm sure that's why he said he'd cancel you, he knew it would bother me. He was relentless."
"I know what he's like," Ben said, taking her hand.
"Because he was so relentless, I did really well, better than they expected me to. They're sending me out on missions now, starting next week," she squeezed his hand. "All I wanted was to come and see you. I asked him more than once, he always said no. I talked to Nikita once. She said it was allowed, and that she would try to help me."
"Nikita is not one of Operations' favorites," he said.
"Ben, I don't want to go back," she said. "I told Michael that I hate him."
"Why did you do that?"
"When Operations told me I'd always been able to see you, I saw red. I knocked Michael to the floor, right in front of Operations. I told Michael he was a cold, heartless bastard, and that I hated him.
"What did he do?"
"He said he had made me strong," she said.
"He's right," Ben said, smiling.
They sat in silence for a time.
"I'm going to take a shower. If you want something to drink look in the refrigerator." He stood up, untying his belt.
While Ben was in the shower, Liz poured wine for both of them. It was dark now, moonlight flooding in to the room, spilling over the bed. She hadn't seen moonlight or sunlight for over a year. She had an almost dreamy feeling as she removed her clothes, lay down on the bed, and wrapped herself in the sheet.
Ben came into the room, shutting off the bathroom light, plunging the bedroom into darkness, the only light being the moon. He was wrapped in a towel. He lay on the bed behind her, running his hand up and down her arm.
"What are you thinking?" he asked, whispering.
"I feel like I'm floating in a cloud," she said. She turned her head slightly, looking up at him. Several minutes went by, the two of them gazing into each other's eyes. Then, he leaned his head down and kissed her.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. She truly did feel like she was floating in a cloud. His hands were so gentle on her body, slowly sliding the sheet down. She reached a hand up, feeling the hard muscles of his upper arms, such a contrast to the whisper soft feel of his hands on her stomach.
His face seemed to float above her, buoyed up by the moonlight. He gently cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs on her cheeks. Slowly, he lowered his face to hers, touching her lips with his tongue, then claiming her mouth with his. She breathed a soft moan as his lower body pressed against hers. All the accumulated emotions of the past year came spilling out in a rush for both of them.
Afterwards, he held her against him, spoon fashion. The moon was higher up in the sky now, so the room was not so brightly lit. He ran his hand tenderly up and down her upper arm, his lips resting against the back of her neck.
"Will I be able to see you regularly now?" she said.
"Yes. Michael can't stop you now."
"I don't want to go back, I just want to live here with you."
"No, you don't. This must be purgatory. I'm not really part of Section, but not free either. I don't have the restraints of Section, but I also don't have the freedom." He rolled on his back, drawing her along with him. She lay with her head resting on his chest, tracing the tattoo on his chest with her fingertip.
"Michael will be extra hard on me when I go back," she said.
"No, I don't think he will. You met him head to head, if anything, he'll respect you more now."
"Ben," she said, raising up and peering at him through the dark. "I love you."
She could just make out the outlines of his smile.
"I love you too Liz. Now I can finally say it."
She put her head back down, and they fell asleep. Liz was confident that things would look up from then on, the test was over.
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