Chapter Eight

History

I kissed another man….

The thought keep circling around Jordan's head that night as she lay in bed reflecting on what had happened. One part of her felt liberated…Woody had pushed her away…told her that he didn't want her. That it was time to move on with their lives…and he was dating Allison. She had floundered with her life but now may have found a surer footing than with a Farm Boy with blue eyes. And that footing was with a tall, dark, handsome DA with whiskey-colored eyes.

But the other part of Jordan felt like she was being unfaithful to a man -- that while he professed he had no hold on her, nor wanted to -- her heart was telling her another story. Woody may not believe it, but her heart…or at least part of it, still belonged to him. Maybe what she told Garret had been right… You know what they say…the one real, true love of your life, you never really get over. You just learn to move on.

If Woody was the one real, true love of her life…she would never really get over him. She could see him twenty-five year from now, and her emotions would be the same. Her knees would buckle slightly, her heart would race, and her body would hunger for his touch. That wouldn't change.

Jordan rolled over from her back to her stomach, hugging the pillow in Jack's guest room. She had a choice. She could either remain locked in her past with Woody, longing for something she would never have from him…his love. Or she could move on. Embrace a new relationship with a new man…a man that was older, more stable, and wanted her … just her. He didn't have problems with her issues, he didn't want her to change. He was happy with her the way she was.

It seemed like an easy choice. Begin a relationship with a man that was available and willing….or wait on a man that would never be happy with her no matter how hard she tried, and had no plans to return her feelings again.

But no one ever said the issues of the heart were easy or made perfect sense. Either way, she risked getting her heart broken.

Was Jack worth the risk? He seemed to be….and his kiss this afternoon, and then another later this evening told her that he was wanting more from her…not just sexually, but in all the other ways, too. Emotionally….mentally…he wanted to get to know her in everyway. Was she willing to make this leap?

Facing what could be years of being alone…chasing the ghosts of her failed relationship with her one, true love, the decision was obvious.

Jack.

The days clicked by after her apartment was broken into, and Jordan never did move back into her apartment. Jack said it wasn't safe, the Albanians knew where she lived. Until he could make sure the area was secure, she was staying with him.

Jordan didn't argue. She was tired of being alone…and for the first time in her life, was ready to commit to a relationship. She was ready to move on. And Jack was letting her…at her own pace.

Whether he sensed it, or Briscoe had told him a little more about Woody, it seemed to Jordan that Jack instinctively knew that there were still issues with Woody that Jordan was working through in her heart. And she blessed him daily for giving her time. No one…not Briscoe, not Serena, not Adam Schiff…would believe that Jack McCoy had the patience of a saint living under his gruff exterior. But when he held her…kissed her…that exterior dropped and Jordan found herself in the arms of man that cared about her…for who she was, not what she could do and what she needed to change.

Comfortable. What she had with Jack was comfortable. Not that she didn't enjoy it…not that she didn't care…but she didn't feel the passion she had with Woody…that sexual tension that seemed to vibrate between the two of them didn't exist with her and Jack. But what they had was good…and loving…and Jordan relished the fact that she was, like Woody, moving on with her life.

She still slept in his guest room, but knew the night was coming when she wouldn't. She'd sleep in Jack's bed…with him…and propel their relationship to the next level. She believed she was ready, but Jack wasn't so sure she was. One day, after kissing her passionately after they both got home from work, he had lowered his forehead to hers and said, "I can't wait much longer, Jordan."

"Who said you had to wait?" She loosened his tie and unfastened the top two buttons of his shirt.

He stilled her hands, covering hers with his own. "I do, Jo. I do. When I take you to bed, I want it to be just you and me…"

Jordan raised her eyebrows. "And you were expecting a threesome?"

Jack chuckled. "No…not coming from you…no. I want it to be just you and me and I don't want the ghost of Woody Hoyt anywhere around."

His comment had shocked her and she imagined he could read it on her face. "But…he…I…it's over."

"It may be over here," he said, tapping the middle of her forehead with his finger, "but it's not over here." He moved his finger to the center of her chest, over her heart. "And until this part of your body knows that, I have got to keep my hands off the rest of your body. Or we'll both regret it."

"But Jack…."

"Look, sweetheart…you know it and I know it, too. Sometimes when we kiss, I feel that you aren't all there…that your mind is somewhere in Boston…somewhere with him…wondering what he's doing…where he's at…or if what we could have together will hold a candle to what you and he could have had together if he hadn't been such an idiot." He have her a lopsided grin.

"Jack…he's moved on…and I have to, too."

"But the fact remains, Jordan, do you want to?"

"Yes."

Jack nodded. "You're really sure?"

"Yes…of course…Woody's out of my life…"

"Okay…I'll take your word for it…" He lowered his lips to hers again, kissing her deeply and molding her body to his. Her fingers found their way back to the buttons of his shirt.

He's in my past…this is what matters now…Jack is what matters…Jordan kept thinking as she began to feel her body respond to his caresses, feeling him pull her shirt from the waistband of her jeans and run his hands up along her ribcage to the sensitive area under her breasts. He's in the past…my past. She quit thinking then and was only aware of how Jack was making her feel…the familiar tingles of anticipation that would result sometime that night in the ultimate satisfaction…

Woody Hoyt is history…

They both were jerked back to reality when the doorbell rang. Giving Jordan a rueful look, Jack said, "I swear I wasn't expecting company…"

"Neither was I…"

"Can you get that while I…." he motioned to the front of his shirt which now needed to be completely re-buttoned.

"Sure," she said, tucking her own shirt in as the doorbell rang again. "Coming, coming….hold your horses…" She swung the door open with a pop and caught her breath.

History was staring her in the face.

Woody was in New York.