He did start reading the files on the computer, though. It was the only sort of confession Krad could get out of Satoshi that the news had touched him.
Hovering in the background, watching, guarding, keeping a very close eye on the soul he was bound to for life, Krad wondered if the other shoe would drop.
It did.
In the most unexpected way.
° ° °
Daisuke came home from his latest museum stint, which had lasted almost all night, feeling tired but pleased. He was on the last leg of his thesis and if all went well, he would be able to hand over the first draft to his professor soon. That meant he would have a few weeks off to do as he pleased as long as his professor was reading through his work.
Yawning, dropping his bag in the hallway, he went into the kitchen to get something to drink, then catch up on sleep. He would check on Satoshi later on, knowing his partner was most likely holed up in his office already, hacking away at the computer.
As he sipped the orange juice there was a loud clattering noise, followed by a soft curse. Daisuke hurried out into the hallway and found Satoshi struggling to untangle himself from the bag Daisuke had put down there. Folders and paper was strewn all over the floor.
"Sato? Oh damn!" Daisuke exclaimed.
Blue eyes flashed up and a glare was directed his way.
"I'm sorry," Daisuke went on. "Are you okay?"
"Do I look okay?" Satoshi snarled, kicking the bag away.
Daisuke frowned at the uncharacteristic temper outbreak, but he knew what long nights could do to one. And with Krad's recent loss of control, Satoshi was probably experiencing echoes.
"I'm sorry," he just repeated.
His lover just snorted. "It wouldn't do you any harm to put your stuff somewhere I don't fall over it, right?"
"I was going to take the bag with me when I went to the bedroom. I was just getting a drink." Daisuke felt defensiveness flare for a moment.
Sheesh! he thought. What's wrong with him? Sure, they had had fights before. All couples had and they were no different. But it had never been this venomous from Satoshi's side.
Picking up the bag, Daisuke was about to help his lover, but Satoshi just pushed him away.
"I'm perfectly capable of doing this on my own!"
So Daisuke removed the bag to the bedroom, confused as to what was going on. Maybe it was lack of sleep, he decided. Unpacking, he stowed his books and papers, then stripped and took a shower. He was tired enough to sleep for a week.
When he walked back out to check on Satoshi before he went to bed, he found his lover puttering around the kitchen.
"Are you okay?" Daisuke asked as he stopped at the other side of the kitchen island.
"Of course. Why shouldn't I be?" was the sharp reply as the dishwasher was banged shut. Blue eyes that weren't really Satoshi's glared again. "You leave for days, you get home for a little bed rest and something to eat, and then you're off again, right? And I stay here, working all day, nothing to worry about!"
Daisuke blinked at the words. What? Huh?
"I'm sick and tired of waking up alone! Sick and tired of going to bed alone! And when you eventually get home, in the middle of the day, you fall asleep!" Satoshi went on.
"Sato...?"
"I'm here all day and I do the work, and all you do is expect me to wait on you hand and foot!"
Daisuke stared at his partner, speechless. "What?"
Okay, now he had officially lost track concerning what was going on.
"What am I? Just a tool? Until you have what you want and then you leave?" Satoshi demanded.
He was frozen in shock and then Daisuke noticed the tears in the blue eyes for the first time. They spilled over, running in single tracks down the pale cheeks.
"I'm not a toy!" Satoshi went on, voice trembling. "I'm not! I'm my own person and you can't expect me to just take it!"
"Sato, I never..."
"No!" came the scream. "No! You're never here! You don't know anything! What do you see? A fuck buddy at best, right? I'm a Hikari and I can't do anything about it! I can't be anyone else but who I was born to be! And everyone just uses me!"
The last was shouted, Satoshi's voice breaking, and the slender body fell against the wall, pale as a sheet, trembling so hard he was unable to stay upright. He was crying and probably completely unaware of it.
"I'm not a tool," he whispered again.
Daisuke came carefully closer and knelt down beside his so totally confused partner. He reached out and gently touched the blond.
"Sato?" he murmured. "You're not. I love you."
"I'm no experiment, no lab rat," Satoshi continued. "I'm not. I never wanted to be born that way..."
And then Daisuke had him in his arms, crying, shaking so hard Daisuke tightly wrapped him in his embrace. He had no clue what was going on. He murmured soothingly to his lover, stroked over the shoulders and back, buried his hands in the longish strands of the blond head, and pressed little kisses against the wet cheeks.
Satoshi clung to him like a drowning man, hiccupping now and then, the sobs drying off after a while.
Daisuke just waited.
And finally, his lover quieted down, inhaling deeply as if to center himself.
"Satoshi?" he asked softly.
The blue eyes, red-rimmed and swollen from the crying, rose and met his own. Satoshi swallowed, the pale face reflecting exhaustion and so much pain, it hurt Daisuke in turn.
"What happened?" he wanted to know.
Satoshi closed his eyes, shivering a little. "Not here," he whispered.
Daisuke nodded, slowly getting to his feet. He held out a hand and pulled the slender form of his lover to his feet, holding him close. He pressed a kiss against the pale lips.
Whatever this was, they would get through it.
Satoshi began to tremble again and Daisuke gave a soothing murmur, embracing him tightly.
"Satoshi," he whispered. "It's okay."
"Nothing is okay," was the hoarse answer. "Nothing..."
Daisuke moved them over to the couch and cradled the suddenly so fragile and vulnerable body in his arms. Satoshi continued to trembled, but the tears wouldn't fall again. It was minutes before Daisuke finally heard the softest of whispers. It was his name.
"Yes?" he answered.
"I know now," Satoshi whispered.
"Know what?"
"Why it all happened to me. Why I could keep him at bay."
Daisuke frowned, confused. "Sato?" he queried.
And Satoshi started to talk. Daisuke listened, his horror growing at the first stumbling words that soon grew firmer. Satoshi's voice was flat, distant, but he remained in Daisuke's embrace, seeking the solid comfort of his lover.
° ° °
Krad gazed at the warm light in his mind that represented his host. Satoshi was curled up, asleep from exhaustion and the strain all that had put on him, and Krad was like a guardian angel, hovering over the vulnerable mind. He reached out carefully and stroked across the soft representation of the agile mind, smiling gently as Satoshi turned toward him, seeking comfort.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured.
Settling down beside the other, he prepared himself to wait until Satoshi woke, ready to do whatever was needed to help him through this horror.
He didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the moment. All that had happened since he had come back to be with his host had led to this, to the ultimate truth about what
Kei had wanted to do. There had been so much pain and so many tears already, but nothing could have prepared any of them for this.
Stroking over the exhausted presence, Krad whispered softly, reassuring Satoshi that this changed nothing, If anything, it tied them even closer together, if that was at all possible. The physical contact, even if it was in their mind realm, calmed him somewhat. He had always needed that contact, had craved it, but before the final battle it had always come out wrong.
Double Hikari heritage, he mused, still shocked about that. The power... the sheer power of it all... It was frightening.
He had felt this power so often before, but he had never realized it.
"Krad?"
Krad had been aware of the presence, Dark's gentle aura, inquisitive and warm, wanting to be close but not daring to simply barge into this tender moment. Golden eyes met deeply violet ones.
"May I?" the kaitou asked.
Krad knew that if he said 'no', Dark would go and wait for him in turn. But he didn't deny him entrance, just lowered the protective shields around him and Satoshi.
Dark came silently closer, settling down next to him.
"Since when did you know?" he asked.
"Kei's computer. I read through the emails and files. I found out about a week ago." Krad never stopped stroking over Satoshi's presence. "I lost it then."
He had never told Dark why he had destroyed the kitchen. His lover had assumed that it had had something to do with Hel, with those nightmares, and he had left him in that belief.
"Tell me?" Dark asked.
A sigh escaped Krad. "How much did you hear?"
"Uhm, not much. I was actually sleeping." Dark smiled sheepishly. "It was a long night."
Krad smiled a little. "I bet." Then the smile faltered as he tried to decide how to start. Finally he inhaled deeply, "Kei was Satoshi's step-father. He had fallen in love with Riu and while he was very young, they married and he adopted Satoshi. Hence the name of Hiwatari. It was also a good cover." A sardonic smile crossed his lips. "The art of the Hikari changed Kei, made him into the cold-blooded bastard who was killed in our final confrontation over the Black Wings and our hosts. But what he did before... until it came to this... was much worse."
Dark waited when Krad fell silent, the blond visibly fighting for composure.
"Kei looked into the history of the Hikari blood-line and discovered their unique artistic talent. He found out about their power and it drew him in. What he also looked into was Satoshi's birth father. That was when it all began."
"His father died?" Dark hazarded a guess.
"No. Satoshi's father's name is Kentaro Kinji. And he is a Hikari himself."
"What!"
tbc...