Expected Casualties:

"Bastard! I'll see you dead!"

I had meant it that day. It's amazing how steadfast and determined an eight year old child can be.

In retrospect, I had behaved rather impetuously. Still reeling from the consecutive deaths of both my parents, it had seemed like a logical idea at the time to lunge at a decorated Valuan officer with little more than a dagger and a spot of insanity.

To be born of aristocratic stock only to be reduced to a street urchin on account of your government's aggressive foreign policy is embittering. Not that any child should be forced to learn how to avoid the patrols on Upper City Valua while simultaneously ignoring the grumblings in their stomach.

My father had been lost to me on account of war since I was five, although he technically didn't die until my sixth year. After that, my mother seemed hell bent on drinking herself to death and finally succeeded two weeks before my eighth birthday.

So as I pawned my mother's jewelry off one by one for food, I kept my father's dagger, an ugly serrated thing, close to my heart. Content to pretend that I knew what true heartbreak felt like, I could continue to survive. Because I had something to live for. Galcian.

If that cocky Captain hadn't been so content on rising in the ranks he wouldn't have ordered that suicide assault on Nasr. The lives of those men, my father included, wouldn't have been forfeit. If my father had lived that day, perhaps he would have survived the war and returned to me and my mother. Then Mother wouldn't have submitted to her misery.

Too many "what-ifs" to sustain logic, I know, but that's irrelevant to a grieving girl. So when I saw Captain Galcian sauntering down the street, I abandoned all common sense.

One of his subordinates saw me before I was even a yard away. The soldier even had the opportunity to stretch his fingers before he struck me across my face.

I fell to the ground immediately, humiliated and furious at how easily I was defeated.

"Seems like the rats are getting bigger," the soldier casually noted.

I ignored the man as I pushed myself back up to my feet. I pointed a rigid finger at Galcian and said the words I had practiced in the shadows for a month.

"Bastard!" I cried. "I'll see you dead!"

"Let me take care of this, Captain," the soldier offered.

A single glance from Galcian stilled his men. Instead, the Captain crouched on his haunches before me. He firmly grasped my chin in his hand and forced me to meet his eyes.

He studied me quietly for a moment, while I bit my bottom lip to keep my knees from trembling. It would be many years yet before his hair grayed, but his pale blue eyes already had the clarity and determination in them that I would train myself to love.

"What is your name, girl?" he asked.

"Belleza," I answered. "Daughter of a man who did not survive your order. Daughter of a woman too weak-hearted to live without her husband."

"I see," he murmured. "Tell me, how long have you planned your attack?"

I went over the math in my head before I confidently replied, "One month, two weeks and a day."

"So you have bid your time carefully, then." Galcian chuckled.

"What's so funny?" I swallowed hard.

"My companions want to punish you for treason," Galcian said. "You know that the punishment for treason is death, don't you?"

"I do now," I replied.

"But I think they're being hasty." Galcian smiled coldly.

"Oh?" I tried not to stammer.

"Yes," Galcian replied. "You amuse me. Not many grown men would have the courage to attack an officer of the Valuan Armada, yet as a child you had both the patience to wait for an opportunity and the determination to strike."

He released his grip on my face and stood. As Galcian reached into his expensive gold braided jacket, I could only imagine the ornate detailing on the hilt of the rapier he would pull out to end my life. I closed my eyes, chilled to the marrow.

Instead, the Captain retrieved his handkerchief. He dabbed the linen against his tongue, then began to scrub the filth from my face with it.

"Captain, you can't possibly…" the soldier spluttered.

"I want you to find some lodging for this child," Galcian interrupted. "She shows promise. I want you to see to it that she attends the academy."

"Yes sir!" The soldier nodded furiously before he saluted Galcian and stormed off.

"What are you waiting for, Belleza?" Galcian asked. "Follow him."

And I did.

It seems that Lord Galcian was correct in his judgment of me. I excelled at the academy, particularly the psychological studies. It felt almost natural to rise in the ranks after I graduated. If any competition stood in my way, I would evaluate their weaknesses, their insecurities, their habits, obsessions; eat away at the very things that made them human. I had a goal; to see to it that no child had to suffer as I did. An admirable ideal that most of those high society academy snobs lacked. They mostly wanted the titles and ranks and decorations for aesthetic purposes, for bragging rights at cocktail parties.

Perhaps that was too cruel. There were exceptions. Admiral Gregorio was a brilliant tactician and his heart bled for his country. Unfortunately, for every Gregorio, there were a thousand Alfonsos. That math was not in favor of Valua.

But there was only one Galcian. Period. And I would do anything to make him proud.

Curious how relationships change. I hated him with every fiber of my being and when he caught me he should have killed me. But he didn't. It was almost a disappointment to the girl I had been. Because that immediately disproved my theory of Galcian being nothing more than a monstrous butcher.

From that confusion I had to completely reevaluate my perception of the man. Every order, every decision, every glance, every breath was done with a purpose. Yes, although the deployment of a small group of ships meant certain death for the men that manned them, my father included, it gave the rest of his battalion of ships the opportunity to surround and defeat the Nasreans. It made for a quick battle, which in turn made for a quick war and a quick war means less loss of life. I had to believe that.

That made Galcian admirable. That made Galcian essential for the good of the Valuan people. For the good of all the people of Arcadia. If everyone was united under one ruler there would be no need for them to bicker amongst themselves. There'd be no reason for governments to send fathers off to war.

So I gladly fought for Galcian because of this. I loved him because of this. Whenever I looked into his eyes, it wasn't what I wanted to see. But it was all that I had. There was always that clarity and steel determination. Nothing else. I suppose maybe I figured that if I loved him more than I could comprehend, that would be enough love for two people regardless of what he felt.

I was mistaken.

Soldiers die in war. It is an expected casualty. When the corpses of the elderly litter the street alongside children and mothers clutching their babes to their cold breasts, that is not war. And if he was capable of doing that to the country he had taken an oath to protect, there was nothing he wouldn't destroy. Myself included.

"Good bye, my love."

A touching farewell. The tool finally rebelled against the hand that controlled it. Perhaps I didn't really love him. But if that was the case, why did it hurt so much?

"Bastard. I'll see you dead."

To think that the eight year old child knew more than the woman.