Chapter I
"First Memories"
My first memory is of my mother. It was a very, very long time ago. I was about eight years old, which may not sound young, but for an Edenian, it is. My first memory, and I remember it so vividly. I remember my mother's long, silky hair draped on the floor. She had such long hair....I remember when I was younger I'd play with it when she held me. I remember her pale skin which looked even whiter next to the blood.
I remember seeing my mother, sprawled out on the floor of her chamber, her body contorted like she had fallen down. Her face was frozen and lifeless, but she looked so sad. I remember the knife near her hand which was covered in blood. Her wrists were cut and the blood was seeping from her wounds onto the floor around her hands.
Standing next to me was my step-father, Shao Kahn, although at the time, I didn't know he wasn't my real father. I couldn't tell if he was upset because he always wore a mask that looked like a skull. His mask used to frighten me when I was child, but I eventually got used to it.
There were other people there. I think they were my father's generals or advisors. I wasn't paying much attention to them, I was just staring at my mother. I remember not wanting to believe she was dead. I remember hoping she was just asleep, that she'd wake up any moment, but she wasn't. She was just lying there.
My father left my side, but I remained and kept staring at my mother. I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to wait and see if she was going to wake up. But my father wanted me to leave with him.
"Kitana, come." he ordered at me, but I still didn't move. "Kitana! Now!
After he yelled I returned to him. My father always made a big deal of me obeying him at all times. He always threatened that if I ever disobeyed him he'd beat me, so when he yelled at me I had to comply. As we left, I took one last look at my mother, still expecting her to wake up, but she never did. That would be the last time I would ever see my other again for a long time.
I followed my father to the his throne room where he sat down. I remained by his side because I wanted to know what happened to mother, but I was afraid to ask him anything. He still seemed upset, and he said he hated when I pestered him. I wasn't sure if he was upset about my mother or that I didn't listen to him. If he was already mad at me for not listening to him earlier, I didn't want to make him angrier.
I managed to ask him "F-father..? What happened to mother?"
"She's dead, Kitana. She killed herself." he answered, rather bluntly.
"Why? Why would she do that?" I asked.
"Not now, Kitana. I have more important things to deal with right now. Return to your chamber and I'll discuss it with you later."
"But father..."
"NOW Kitana! I don't have time for you!"
Like a good girl, I obeyed. I returned to my chamber and tried to rationalize why my mother would kill herself. Even at a young age I understood what death was. I was being taught how to fight and I had seen my father kill people who disobeyed or angered him and he told me what death meant.
I kept trying to think of why my mother would kill herself. I hadn't seen her very often in the past few months. I didn't know why, but my father never allowed my mother and I to meet and speak with each other for too long. Whenever we were allowed to spend some time together, she always seemed so sad. She always seemed like she wanted to tell me something, but wouldn't because there were always guards around.
I then started to wonder if it was something I had done. Did I do something that would make her that upset? I didn't know what I could've done, though. I wished I knew why she did it and what I could've done to stop it.
I was in my room by myself for a few hours thinking about my mother when a servant told me my father wanted to see my in his chamber. I quickly went to his chamber hoping he could give me an answer. When I entered he was sitting in a large chair, his helmet was off revealing his face which was very scarred and demonic looking. Honestly, I thought he was scarier without the mask.
"Approach, my daughter." he said as I came closer. I stood in front of him and he said "I see you're still troubled by your mother's death."
"Yes, father." I answered quietly.
He laughed a little and lifted me up and placed me on his lap saying "Tell me what's troubling you, my daughter."
"I just don't understand why she did it. Why would she kill herself?"
"I don't know. Perhaps she was unhappy." he answered indifferently.
"But why? Why would she be unhappy?"
"I don't know."
I was quiet for a few moments then asked "Could it have been something I did?"
My father looked at me and what he said haunts me to this day, "Maybe. Perhaps you did something to upset her."
"But what did I do? Why would she be angry at me?" I quickly answered, almost crying.
"I do not know."
"But...but I don't understand....what did I do..? What could I have done..?" I said as I began to cry.
"Do not weep for her, Kitana." my father said sternly. "Only the weak cry."
"B-but.." I began.
"No Kitana." he interrupted. "You're better than that. You are my daughter and I will not have you cry. Only weak, pathetic mortals cry. You're better than that. You're better than them."
"I am..?"
"Of course you are. You are the daughter of Shao Kahn. The daughter of the Emperor of Outworld! Do not weep for your mother. She is not worth one of your tears."
"Why? What do you mean?"
"She abandoned you. However upset she may have been, she had no right to abandon you. No matter what you may have did to upset her, she had no right to put you through this."
"I guess..."
"She was weak Kitana. She selfishly abandoned and left you alone. She does not deserve you mourning." he said with anger brewing in his voice. "But do not fear my daughter. You still have me. I will never leave you. I will never abandon you. I'll always be there for you."
"You will..?"
"Forever."
I remember feeling very comforted by that. There were almost no other children in the fortress and the few that were weren't allowed to talk to me. The only other people were my father's warriors and advisors and none of them would talk to me either. With my mother gone, father really was the only person I had left. He was the only person who still cared about me.
I then started to think about my mother and what father was saying about her and I started to feel angry too. She did leave me. She abandoned me and left me alone. And left me to feel guilty about it. As my father spoke, I started to hate my mother.
"I won't cry for her. I won't." I said harshly, wiping the tears from my face.
"I will make you strong Kitana. I will teach you how to stop others from hurting you. I will give you the strength to hurt them." he continued. "Would you like that Kitana? You want to be strong for me?"
"Yes father." I answered eagerly. "I want to be strong."
"You will be, my daughter. You will be the mightiest warrior in Outworld. I shall see to that. People will tremble at you're very name. You'll make me proud."
My father was all I had left. He was the only person left in my life. I wanted so much to make him proud. I wanted so much for him to love me. I hugged him and quietly said "I love you, father."
My father gently placed his hand on my head and said "I know."
My first memories. They still haunt me even today.
End of Chapter I
"First Memories"
My first memory is of my mother. It was a very, very long time ago. I was about eight years old, which may not sound young, but for an Edenian, it is. My first memory, and I remember it so vividly. I remember my mother's long, silky hair draped on the floor. She had such long hair....I remember when I was younger I'd play with it when she held me. I remember her pale skin which looked even whiter next to the blood.
I remember seeing my mother, sprawled out on the floor of her chamber, her body contorted like she had fallen down. Her face was frozen and lifeless, but she looked so sad. I remember the knife near her hand which was covered in blood. Her wrists were cut and the blood was seeping from her wounds onto the floor around her hands.
Standing next to me was my step-father, Shao Kahn, although at the time, I didn't know he wasn't my real father. I couldn't tell if he was upset because he always wore a mask that looked like a skull. His mask used to frighten me when I was child, but I eventually got used to it.
There were other people there. I think they were my father's generals or advisors. I wasn't paying much attention to them, I was just staring at my mother. I remember not wanting to believe she was dead. I remember hoping she was just asleep, that she'd wake up any moment, but she wasn't. She was just lying there.
My father left my side, but I remained and kept staring at my mother. I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to wait and see if she was going to wake up. But my father wanted me to leave with him.
"Kitana, come." he ordered at me, but I still didn't move. "Kitana! Now!
After he yelled I returned to him. My father always made a big deal of me obeying him at all times. He always threatened that if I ever disobeyed him he'd beat me, so when he yelled at me I had to comply. As we left, I took one last look at my mother, still expecting her to wake up, but she never did. That would be the last time I would ever see my other again for a long time.
I followed my father to the his throne room where he sat down. I remained by his side because I wanted to know what happened to mother, but I was afraid to ask him anything. He still seemed upset, and he said he hated when I pestered him. I wasn't sure if he was upset about my mother or that I didn't listen to him. If he was already mad at me for not listening to him earlier, I didn't want to make him angrier.
I managed to ask him "F-father..? What happened to mother?"
"She's dead, Kitana. She killed herself." he answered, rather bluntly.
"Why? Why would she do that?" I asked.
"Not now, Kitana. I have more important things to deal with right now. Return to your chamber and I'll discuss it with you later."
"But father..."
"NOW Kitana! I don't have time for you!"
Like a good girl, I obeyed. I returned to my chamber and tried to rationalize why my mother would kill herself. Even at a young age I understood what death was. I was being taught how to fight and I had seen my father kill people who disobeyed or angered him and he told me what death meant.
I kept trying to think of why my mother would kill herself. I hadn't seen her very often in the past few months. I didn't know why, but my father never allowed my mother and I to meet and speak with each other for too long. Whenever we were allowed to spend some time together, she always seemed so sad. She always seemed like she wanted to tell me something, but wouldn't because there were always guards around.
I then started to wonder if it was something I had done. Did I do something that would make her that upset? I didn't know what I could've done, though. I wished I knew why she did it and what I could've done to stop it.
I was in my room by myself for a few hours thinking about my mother when a servant told me my father wanted to see my in his chamber. I quickly went to his chamber hoping he could give me an answer. When I entered he was sitting in a large chair, his helmet was off revealing his face which was very scarred and demonic looking. Honestly, I thought he was scarier without the mask.
"Approach, my daughter." he said as I came closer. I stood in front of him and he said "I see you're still troubled by your mother's death."
"Yes, father." I answered quietly.
He laughed a little and lifted me up and placed me on his lap saying "Tell me what's troubling you, my daughter."
"I just don't understand why she did it. Why would she kill herself?"
"I don't know. Perhaps she was unhappy." he answered indifferently.
"But why? Why would she be unhappy?"
"I don't know."
I was quiet for a few moments then asked "Could it have been something I did?"
My father looked at me and what he said haunts me to this day, "Maybe. Perhaps you did something to upset her."
"But what did I do? Why would she be angry at me?" I quickly answered, almost crying.
"I do not know."
"But...but I don't understand....what did I do..? What could I have done..?" I said as I began to cry.
"Do not weep for her, Kitana." my father said sternly. "Only the weak cry."
"B-but.." I began.
"No Kitana." he interrupted. "You're better than that. You are my daughter and I will not have you cry. Only weak, pathetic mortals cry. You're better than that. You're better than them."
"I am..?"
"Of course you are. You are the daughter of Shao Kahn. The daughter of the Emperor of Outworld! Do not weep for your mother. She is not worth one of your tears."
"Why? What do you mean?"
"She abandoned you. However upset she may have been, she had no right to abandon you. No matter what you may have did to upset her, she had no right to put you through this."
"I guess..."
"She was weak Kitana. She selfishly abandoned and left you alone. She does not deserve you mourning." he said with anger brewing in his voice. "But do not fear my daughter. You still have me. I will never leave you. I will never abandon you. I'll always be there for you."
"You will..?"
"Forever."
I remember feeling very comforted by that. There were almost no other children in the fortress and the few that were weren't allowed to talk to me. The only other people were my father's warriors and advisors and none of them would talk to me either. With my mother gone, father really was the only person I had left. He was the only person who still cared about me.
I then started to think about my mother and what father was saying about her and I started to feel angry too. She did leave me. She abandoned me and left me alone. And left me to feel guilty about it. As my father spoke, I started to hate my mother.
"I won't cry for her. I won't." I said harshly, wiping the tears from my face.
"I will make you strong Kitana. I will teach you how to stop others from hurting you. I will give you the strength to hurt them." he continued. "Would you like that Kitana? You want to be strong for me?"
"Yes father." I answered eagerly. "I want to be strong."
"You will be, my daughter. You will be the mightiest warrior in Outworld. I shall see to that. People will tremble at you're very name. You'll make me proud."
My father was all I had left. He was the only person left in my life. I wanted so much to make him proud. I wanted so much for him to love me. I hugged him and quietly said "I love you, father."
My father gently placed his hand on my head and said "I know."
My first memories. They still haunt me even today.
End of Chapter I