((A slightly longer version for Return of the Jedi. Had to be so I could include all the funny stuff. Review, please! Enjoy!))
Vader: Speed up construction, and clean up around here. The Emperor's coming, and I don't want him to see any Doritos on the floor.
R2: o0o0o Let's go into this awesome palace.
3PO: Please, no!
Luke: Oh, Great Almighty Jabba the Hutt, you are so Great and Almighty. Oh yeah and can I have Han back, please?
Jabba: No! You will not ruin my feng shui. Guards! Make the tall golden droid my servant.
3PO: Please, no!
R2: Is that all you say?
3PO: No, it's just what the author writes for me. (Author brandishes large trout) Please, no! (Author hits 3PO with large trout)
Leia: Here, Jabba. Have a Wookiee.
Jabba: Thanks. Put him in a cell.
Leia: (pushes buttons on carbonite chamber.)
Han: GASP! I'm alive! Who are you?
Leia: Someone who likes you...(wink wink)
Han: No! Not a fan-girl! Sorry sweetie I can't see you winking.
Leia: Drat.
Jabba: Gotcha!
Leia: Double drat.
Luke: Have no fear! Luke Skywalker is here!
Jabba: Same old stuff.
Luke: (falls into Rancor pit)
Rancor: Fe Fi Fo Fum. I'm gonna use Lukey for chewing gum...
Luke: (escapes) Nah nah nah nah nah!
Jabba: I will now execute you all in a most painful fashion. Except the female...
Han: Hey Luke.
Luke: What?
Han: Thanks for rescuing me.
Luke: Oh, gosh golly gee Han. You're welcome!
Han: (sigh)
Luke: Weeeeeeeeee I can fly I can fly I can fly I can fly...
Lando: Han...A little help here.
Han: Sorry, buddy, can't spare any money right now, but--oh. That kind of help. Dangle me over the side of this thing will ya, Chewie?
Lando: I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shoulda stayed on Bespin. Shoulda stayed on Bespin.
Luke: Look we're all alive!
George Lucas: What happened to that cool fight scene?
Author: Sorry, this is Star Wars in under 60 seconds. No time.
Leia: I need a change of clothes.
Han: What's wrong with--
Leia: Shut up, nerf herder.
Luke: I'm off to see the Jedi! The wonderful Yoda of Dagobah!
Yoda: Good to see you again, young one. (dies)
Luke: No, master Yoda you can't die!
Yoda: (dead) To late! I'm gone!
Luke: (confused) OOOOK.
Ben: Hi, again!
Luke: Hi! Is Leia my sister?
Ben: Um, yes. But don't tell Vader!
Luke: K. Bye.
Ben: Bye! (smiling and muttering) He's doomed.
Ackbar: General Solo, is your shuttle team ready to go on a hopeless suicide mission to Endor?
Han: Yesiree.
Leia: Woah! General? How did you go from lowlife smuggler to General and famous war hero?
Han: Funny little thing, movie-making.
Luke: I'm back!
Han: Great! (with only slight air of sarcasm)
On endor...
Han: Grab some speeder bikes and go do a cool chase scene.
Luke and Leia: Okay!
Luke: We did it just like you said, Han, but now Leia's gone.
Han: Lovely.
Chewie: RAWR!
Luke: No, Chewie don't!
Han: Thank you, Chewbacca. I've always wanted to be dangling from a tree in a net.
R2: Heh heh I will let them drop to their doom.
Luke: Whew! We're alive still!
R2: Drat.
Ewok: Worship the Golden One.
3PO: Oh, my.
Han: 3PO, HELP! Hm. I never thought I'd say that.
3PO: Actually I think you'd be rather tasty, Captain Solo.
Luke (uses the Force to dump 3PO out of his chair.)
Ewoks: o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Han: Thanks. Hey, look it's Leia!
Random Rebels: I think we should go turn the shield generator off now...
Luke: Oh, right. Hey, look I gotta leave...
Leia: Why?
Luke: I can't really explain, especially not the part about you being my sister and Vader our father.
Leia: Um...
Luke: See ya!
Fight ensues. Ewoks fighting stormtroopers and all that jazz. Ewoks win. Shield generator blows up.
Lando: WOOHOO!
Lando's fish co-pilot thingy: Yeah! What he said.
Luke: Hi, dad.
Vader: I will take you to the Emperor.
Luke: Fine. But I get to chop your hand off.
Vader: Ow...hey when I chopped your hand off, I didn't really mean it, you know that right?
Emperor: Turn to the darkside!
Luke: No.
Emperor: Please?
Luke: No.
Emperor: We've got cookies...
Luke: Well...no.
Emperor: Fine. (zaps Luke)
Luke: Daddy, save me!
Vader: (picks up Emeperor and throws him down one of those never ending shafts. Vader dies.)
Luke: I'll just burn this...
Death Star: KABOOM!
Rebels: Yay! We won!
Han: You like Luke, don't ya?
Leia: Yeah, he's my brother why wouldn't I?
Han: He's your brother? And you kissed him? Yuck.
Leia: Kiss and make up?
Han: Okay.
Luke: (running in) Ewwwww.
Author: Hey, I don't think this is 'under 60 seconds' anymore Let's wrap it up here people.
Everyone: Okay, then. PARTY!