"Despair"
It had been a few days since my...encounter...with Ikarus. Might have been a week. I lost track. I told my fath....Shao Kahn that I was sick and needed rest so he should give any missions to Mileena or Jade. I holed up in my chamber day and night. I hadn't slept or eaten since it happened.
It was the middle of the night and I was just sitting in my chamber staring at the mirror. I stared at my reflection and one thought kept running through my mind: who am I? If what Ikarus showed me was true, then everything I've believed in and fought for my entire life has been a lie. If I am not the daughter of Shao Kahn, then who am I?
I kept telling myself it wasn't true. I wanted so much to believe it was all a lie. A sorcerer trick Ikarus thought would turn me against my father. But no matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I wanted to deny it, I knew in my heart it was the truth.
I started to wonder if maybe I could just ignore it. Could I just let myself forget it? What difference does it make if Shao Kahn is not my real father? He raised me...does that not make him my father? Could I just go on, like nothing happened?
Could I just forget the name of Jerrod and pretend it never happened? As I stared into my mirror I thought I heard something move behind me. I turned and looked around my chamber but I didn't see anything. I turned back and looked into the mirror and I suddenly I saw my Jerrod standing behind me. His eyes were glowing yellow and he looked almost rotted.
He said to me "This is what you've done to me. You live as an insult to my name."
I screamed and almost jumped from my seat. Another nightmare. I dozed off at my mirror. The nightmares kept getting worse. I would see horrible visions of my mother or my father. Sometimes both at once. Constantly blaming me...calling me a disgrace.
Some weeks past. We received word from Earth that Goro had won the 9th Mortal Kombat Tournament. In another fifty years the 10th would be held. If Goro could win again Earth would belong to my father. My father decided to hold a great feast to celebrate and he wanted me to be there. I decided I would make a brief appearance at the feast but I planned on telling my fath....Kahn that I was still feeling ill.
I went to the feast and sat quietly at the table and didn't say a word to anyone. Not even Jade. The feast was attended by myself, Mileena, Jade, and several of Kahn's other generals and advisors. As we ate Kahn made a speech proclaiming that Earth's conquest was inevitable. He assured everyone that their loyalty and service would not go ignored.
As I listened to him I started to wish things could go back to the way they were. I wished I could celebrate our victory with everyone else. I wanted to pretend nothing was different but it was. Everything changed and no matter how hard I wanted to I couldn't just ignore it. I couldn't let go of what Ikarus showed me.
But as I listened to my fa....KAHN...talk I started to think maybe he could help me. Maybe...if I told him what happened with Ikarus, he could make me forget. Maybe he..or maybe one of the Shadow Priests could wipe my memory. Make everything go back to the way it was. It was Ikarus' sorcery that put these memories into me...maybe my Kahn's sorcery could take it out. They could make me forget and I could go back to the way I was.
But then I saw Mileena at the far end of the table. Sitting by herself and I remembered what Ikarus said about her not being my sister. If she wasn't my sister, then who was she? And why was she here? I wasn't sure if I wanted to know...but I had to.
After the feast I waited until that night and quietly made my way to the Shadow Priests' chamber. I remember that shortly before Mileena was "found" Shang Tsung had been sneaking around me. I figured that maybe he had something to do with it and I decided to search through library of the Shadow Priests' chamber where Tsung's journals and personal notes were kept. I figured if there was any information about where Mileena really came from, that would be where I'd find it.
I quietly sneaked into the library and began searching through the stacks of old books and papers. They were covered with dust and cobwebs and the library was pitch black except for the tiny candle I was holding beside me. Needless to say, my search through the library wasn't easy.
All notes and journals were kept in order of date so I searched around the dates that Mileena first appeared. I searched through them all but found nothing. I was about to give up when I found a discoloration in the wall behind a stack of books. I knocked on and noticed it was hollow. I managed to pry it open and found a hidden compartment which contained an old journal of Shang Tsung which simply had the word "Gemini" written for a title. The date on it ended on the exact day Mileena was found so I began reading. What was written inside I will never forget. One of the first passages read:
"The young Princess Kitana has, in spite of my low expectations, grown to be quite a formidable and deadly fighter. However as I have warned Lord Kahn numerous times, there is still the possibility that if she should ever discover the truth about her family she could possibly be tempted to betray us. Frankly, I do not believe the girl has the courage to attempt such a bold move, but Kahn's suspicions cannot be ignored, and I am forced to solve this problem.
"I have done extensive study with my fellow Shadow Priests in cloning spells, but they are very complicated and it seems the chance of complete success are slim. Regardless, Lord Kahn insists we carry out our plan. I have managed to gather strands of Kitana's hair and samples of her blood to be used in the spells. I am uncertain if it will be enough, but I suppose I'll just have to see.
"I have chosen to combine Kitana's essence with that of a Tarkatan. Lord Kahn claims he wants this clone to be like Kitana in every way, except more vicious, brutal and most importantly, loyal. Tarkatans seem to be the best option for that. I am uncertain though..."
I stopped reading after that. It was worse than I had feared. Worse than anything I could have imagined. Mileena....the woman who for so long I believed was my twin sister....was my....clone. I felt as though I was going to be sick. Kahn had her created because he feared IF I ever learned the truth about my family I MIGHT turn against him.
It all rang clear after that. The clone....Mileena...was meant to be exactly like me...only more evil and more loyal. She was intended to be my replacement. They were going to kill me and have her take my place. I remember feeling so horrified and appalled by that. In spite of everything I've down for Shao Kahn...it wasn't enough? But then I wondered...why didn't she replace me? Why didn't they finish their plan? I didn't want to continue reading but I knew I had to.
The next few passages detailed the spells that went into the clone's creation. Using the strands of hair and my blood, Tsung mystically combined it with the Tarkatan blood to create another version of me. I skipped ahead until I found this passage near the end:
"This cloning process is quite troublesome. For some reason I just cannot find the right balance between Kitana's essence and the Tarkatan. The first clone was a failure. I did not use enough Tarkatan essence and the clone was too much like Kitana. My first failure was promptly destroyed.
"The second clone, I used too much Tarkatan essence and the result was abomination. A hideous creature to behold to say the least. I highly doubt Lord Kahn would want this thing as his daughter so the second clone was eliminated. My second failure.
"The third clone, I thought I found the proper balance. She looked exactly like Kitana in every way...except for her face. Her mouth deformed into a Tarkatan's. Yet another failure. I'm beginning to wonder if this cloning plan will ever work."
I remember wanting to throw up as I read that. Mileena wasn't even the first clone? The previous ones were failures and were killed? How could this have been happening right under my nose? How could I have been so blind? What kind of lunatics have I been serving my entire life? I skipped ahead to the final passage of the journal and read:
"Lord Kahn decided we would abort the plan. It is just as well. I believe Kitana is beginning to grow suspicious. I was going to eliminate the third clone, but she came out perfectly in every way except for her face. Perhaps we can find a use for her?
"I suggested to Lord Kahn that we keep the third clone alive, but make everyone believe she is Kitana's twin sister. If she wears a mask, no one will know she is not. She could prove to be a valuable asset and if nothing else, she can be used to make certain Kitana stays loyal to us..."
I threw the book across the room. I couldn't bear to read another word. I ran to my chamber and quickly locked myself inside. I ran to my window and threw it open trying to catch my breathe. I tried to calm down but the shock was too much and I threw up.
The truth....the whole idea of it....was just so sick...so wrong. The only reason Mileena did not take my place as they intended was because Tsung couldn't make her face look right? I owe my life to Mileena's face?
And the idea that she wasn't the first. That the first two were failures...and killed....how could this have happened? How could I have ever showed loyalty to them? That they would do this to me? How could anyone be so sick? This was the man I believed was my father? This lunatic who would have replaced me with a...clone? Everything I've done for him...everything I've put myself through for him....I would have given my life for him...and he'd do this? He'd kill me and replace me with some...thing....that simply looked like me?
I sank to my knees in my chamber and for the first time since I was a child...I cried. I couldn't go back. I couldn't forget. I couldn't ask Kahn to wipe my memories. How could I? How could I even think about going back after learning all this? I finally realized that I was never Shao Kahn's daughter....not to him anyway. I was a weapon. A tool that could be easily replaced by something...anything...as long as it looked like me.
How could I go on after this? I couldn't bare to continue. I couldn't go back after this. I could never have my old life back. I had no life. It was all a lie. A cruel joke. As tears streamed down my face, I swear....my parents....the people of Zansatsu...everyone I ever kill in Shao Kahn's name.....I swear I could almost hear them laughing at me. I had nothing to live for. My life was gone and meaningless. I just wanted it to end...
End of Chapter VIII