Minutes passed neither spoke. He couldn't quiet or dismiss his thoughts couldn't postpone them – they made no sense just rambled, skipping from scenario to the next, not of how or if,

but of them together daily, how it'd feel, to wake up next to him every morning, go to sleep every night beside him, spend eventless days together contented by each other's constant presence, where they could go what they would do – there's laughter and it's warm, and he wants this.

Beside him glanced decided then he ought first solve this. Steve there frowning sat tailing the van silent.

"…Go ahead. Let it out," he says smirking at utter ease not concerned in the least that yet again he's been found can't care who's next, because he's leaving – becomes a fact half-looked at he knows he oughta think it better through but not now and here, is as nonchalant to the expression Steve when he looks at him was wearing, one weary and displeased then he shrugs faced forward.

"Got nothing to say."

"You sure? Don't wanna question my sanity, haywire sense of morality, bring up Howard as if his existence keeps slipping my mind, ask me about Loki's body count like we sell 'candy' for a living." Steve's fists clench on the wheel posture tense and gaze wayward. He can't tell what he's thinking, speaks his own mind unfiltered: "I don't have answers or an explanation for you, none that you'll like anyways. But things have never…mattered, so damn much, and I can't – nor do I want to even think, about how they were or how they'd be without him, so just…let me be happy." Blue eyes at him snap aback taken, to hear him speak this way, a look so genuine on his face it stumps him. He doesn't know…what to do, what to make of all the other's had said, the impression that Loki off gave and the vivid influence he has had on Tony that seemed to tame his snarky behavior soothe his ever-agitated mood made him receptive and more amiable, as well as distant, all that Steve and most have noticed wondering why and to know that he sees someone is fine but a tribrid!

What he'd just then said was definite and inarguable obviously. Well does Steve assume no words nor reason will get through to sway him away, reel him back and back to what?

…He was happy…for the first time in a long time and…He can't tell him not to be…

At the very least, he can't rat him out most certainly not to Howard.

"…I won't tell anyone."

"…Appreciate it."

"But Tony. Too many already people know. It's only a matter of time-"

"I know. I got it worked out."

"How? What are you gonna do, what'll you say?"

"Nothing. You know I can't stay." He was afraid he would say that. "And quite frankly…"

"…You don't want to."

"…We, protect the people, that can't protect themselves, from beings that they don't know exist…Superhumans: 'demonic creatures'. My entire life centered on, 'ridding the world of their evil', pretending that's all there is, that's all they are. Pests that need exterminating, completely overlooking and denying the fact, that they are human. Different, from us, and from each other. Not all of them, are cold-blooded murders – most of them are trying to survive, just like us. But we never take that into account even though a lot of the time it's clear as day…It's easier, pretending they're all the same, justifies what we do that at the end of the day, is no less than murder in itself." That impacts Steve in spite of himself greatly, althemore does the flash of an image in his mind, of…He takes a shaky breath as on Tony spoke and for seconds he couldn't well hear him. "I'm not negating all we've done because I know that we've saved plenty of lives and beat dozens of genuinely horrible people, but." But he was not horrible he was the best person he'd ever known and he had to…Because… "…We're playing judge, jury, and executioner based on genes. It's racist and sure as fuck ain't heroic. I'm tired of trying to force myself to believe otherwise." Steve has to because he can't…it can't have been in vain. "And honestly. With or without a working system, law enforcement just, isn't what I would've picked out for myself, if I'd had a choice. I'm done pretending I don't."

"…What would you have picked then?"

"I don't know yet. Nothing's stopping me from finding out." No nothing is and he should go. Enough is enough – it's better, that he walk out of this life stay far…

How's that possible if he'd be with a tribrid? Steve's gaze wearily dims he's conflicted and worried and talking half-absent.

"…Where will you go?"

Tony shakes his head shrugs, explains then: "I'll be staying with Loki if that's what you're asking. And he tends to move around. I'll keep you posted assuming Howard doesn't forbid you from contacting his massive disappointment of a son," scornful said he faced the window. Steve glances sympathetically at him, tries to persuade him like he always does there are times truly he himself can't believe it and Tony never has.

"…He'll get mad and he won't understand. No matter what he says, he does love you Tony-"

"No, Steve," back shot he tells him sternly: "Loki loves me. He cares how I feel, what I want, and he'd never do anything to hurt me. Love isn't just a word you say as if it compensates for all the shit you give someone, not something you'd claim to feel for someone you constantly wish would change and at least Howard's never claimed to feel it for me." Dejected blues soften – Coldly Tony affirms that: "It's not sad just shows how big of a disappointment he is as an unfeeling, unthinking human being."

…In earnest Steve tells him: "…I wouldn't turn my back on you, Tony. I'm not…It's hard, processing. All of this," he admits, "but. I won't shut you out. I care, no matter what you might think of me."

"…Me too, Steve. No matter how I make it seem-"

"I know." Faint smiles gave it was of the most genuine exchanges they'd ever shared in so many years and it mattered to each, dawned on both simultaneously, it'd be of the last soon.