A/N: Yay! I puts the chappie up sooner this time!
"Hello and welcome back to-" Slade began, with Starfire next to him.
"The Slade Show!" the audience said and cheered.
"Did you not say Robin would host this episode of your program of the television?" Starfire asked.
"I lied," he said.
"You cannot lie!"
"I'm a villain, did you expect something else?"
"YOU SHALL ALLOW ROBIN TO HOST THIS EPISODE OF YOUR PROGRAM OF THE TELEVISION!"
"If I go deaf because of you, I'm suing."
"ALLOW ROBIN TO HOST-"
"Alright, alright, will you just please SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"Wonderful!" she hugged Slade, "because you have been most kind I shall give you a makeover! Let us go to the mall of shopping!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" then Starfire grabbed his arm and flew away to the mall with him, Slade still screaming. Robin walked onto the stage receiving death stares from the well armed audience.
"Hi, welcome to Catching Slade, with me your host Robin-" he said like a news reporter but was then cut off by an audience member.
"I thought it was Dick Grayson." a random audience member asked with a smirk.
"Hmm…" Robin paused for a second, "come to think of it, that was a really cool name during the 30's and 40's kinda like, Frank Sinatra or Clark Gable-"
"This is 2005 numbskull! Your name is pathetic!" another random audience member yelled, "live in the now!"
"I'm sorry I can't understand you, I don't speak idiot!"
"This is Slade's studio, he told us to bring weapons incase you started to kill the show," that audience member held up a crowbar, "I suggest you treat your audience with respect."
"Fine," he glared at that audience member, "Back to the show, I've tapped into the mall's security system so I'll be able to see every move Slade makes." He turned on a wall of TVs right behind him, it showed several shots of every store in the mall, then he saw Starfire and Slade in the men's section JC Penny… ok this mall has killer security cameras, they're color and record sound.
On the TV…
"Slade, you would look most handsome in this garment!" Starfire said and held up a light blue shirt with purple and pink stripes.
"Not if you paid me! Are you purposely trying to make me look like I'm gay?" Slade asked.
"Of course, everyone is more attractive when they are happy!" Slade smacked his forehead.
"I want to leave!"
"No! You are in a desperate requirement of a new wardrobe!" she threw some clothes in the shopping cart, "And you shall try them on to see that they properly fit!"
"Stop trying to make me look like the newest member of the fab five!"
"They are a boy band of some sort?" Slade began to cringe
"I want to leave!"
"You shall try on the articles of clothing I have selected for you!"
"Yes, 'mother'," he grabbed the clothes out of the shopping cart, "I'll try the stupid clothes on if we leave!"
"Excellent!" she threw Slade in a dressing room.
"They all fit," he said from behind the door without having tried any of the clothes on, "can we go now!"
"I want to see how you look in them first."
"No!"
"Then we shall not leave…"
A/N: Incase you're wondering why Slade hasn't just left or killed Starfire by now, according to his sentence if he isn't in the same room as her (except for the bathroom or when one of them is changing) or within fifty feet of her, if he leaves his sentence is only lengthened and his restraining order on Robin is dead. If he kills her, same punishment only Star will be replaced with Kitten. If he kills Kitten she will be replaced with Robin.
"I hate you with the fire of one thousand suns," he walked out in some of the clothes Starfire picked out for him, "I tried on the damn clothes! Can we leave now!"
"Yes we shall! Onward to Macy's!"
"What the? NO! I want to leave! Why don't you do this to Robin, anything is better than what he's wearing!" he demanded. Starfire paid no attention to him, then she bought the clothes Slade would eventually end up making dummies for target practice with, with Batman's credit card (she doesn't know about identity theft and Robin wouldn't let him press charges) and dragged him to another store. Hmmm maybe I should start a new fanfic on this…
Back to Robin's show…
"Crap!" Robin said, "They're off camera! Must fix…" he started banging the control box, then Slade and Starfire popped up on another screen and for a second one of Slade's gloves had fallen off a little bit, just enough to show some skin, Robin froze the frame and zoomed in, "SLADE IS CAUCASIAN! This narrows down my search completely!"
"You said that three months ago when you found out his shoe size, you haven't gotten anywhere…" Cyborg said from the audience, Robin glared at him for a second and then whipped out a bunch of newspaper articles about Slade and started underlining things.
"Gotta catch Slade, gotta catch Slade, must find out who that evil bastard is…"
"He's getting pretty lame," a random audience member said, "ANGRY MOB FORMATION BEGIN!"
"What the-- CRAP!" Robin began to run for his life. The audience formed a large angry mob and began to chase after Robin with their weapons of choice.
"And now time for some commercials!" Beast Boy said as the angry mob rushed past him.
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
Speedy: (in Raven's voice) Went to my dark poetry joint today. Of course everybody there wanted to get their hands on my new cape. Black with a little blue, not even the army has its technology. It's water proof, fire proof, wind proof, snow proof, bullet proof, lightning proof, monster proof and even Beast Boy proof. I even got a nice 14k gold fibula to go with it. Expensive? What, you thought I'd actually pay for it? (Smirks)
Beast Boy: Don't let identity theft happen to you! Give us money and we'll prevent it… somehow.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
B.B: "Do you wanna look like this loser?" (Holds up a picture of himself in a crappy car with Slade's head pasted over his) "Didn't think so, you wanna look like this don't you?" (Holds up a picture of Slade in a Porsche surrounded by girls, only Beast Boy pasted his head over Slade's) "That's exactly why you should buy yourself a new Porsche 911!"
Slade: (has been standing behind him the entire time) "Ahem."
B.B: "Hiya Slade… I'm dead aren't I?"
Slade: "You took the words right out of my mouth."
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
Starfire: "Raven, do you desire a Fanta?" (offers her a soda bottle)
Raven: "No."
Starfire: "Why do you not want a Fanta?"
Raven: "It's nothing more than sugar, food coloring and carbonated water. Not to mention owned by a company that thinks they'll boost sales by advertising their product with a bunch of singing anorexic skanks-"
Starfire and Raven turn their heads and see that Robin, Cyborg and Beast Boy's eyes are all glued to the TV and the Fanta commercial is on.
Cyborg: "WE NEED THAT SODA!"
Robin: "Subconsciously we all think that if we buy that soda, we'll get to meet those girls even though we have a better chance of seeing Beast Boy eat meat… I need that soda!"
Beast Boy: "There're four of them and three of us, we can't lose!"
Cyborg: "BOO-YAH!"
The three of them run out of the tower, paying no attention at all to the girls, and to the nearest food store
Starfire: (flame surrounding her) "I shall find those unsightly underfed as you say "skanks" and make the rest of their lives most unpleasant!" (flies out the window in search of the Fanta girls)
Raven: "And this all wouldn't have happened if they had just said 'no.'"
……………………………………………………………………………………………...
Now the set is almost completely empty, except for Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven and a few camera guys.
"Pure… hell…" Slade said as Starfire dragged him back onto the set, "every store… SHE MADE ME GO INTO EVERY FREAKING STORE! SHE TOOK ME TO BUILD A BEAR!" he held up a black Teddy bear and then threw it behind his shoulder.
"Where is Robin?" Starfire asked.
"Did you miss the part about the angry mob?" Cyborg asked. Then the mob walked sadly back in and took their seats.
"We're sorry Slade," a random audience member said and looked down in shame, "he got away alive…" all of the audience frowned.
"I even brought my spit," a sad audience member held up a spit that had a dummy of Robin on it, "I wanted his liver damn it!" everyone stared at this audience member for a second, "I mean umm deliver yeah… I wanted him to deliver me a pizza… to roast," pause, "on this spit... hee…hee?"
"I will pay no attention to that last comment," Slade said, "that's all for this week's episode of the Slade Show," pause, "all of you get the heck out of my studio!"
A/N: That be all for this chappie… if anyone wants to, I'll use your username in place of "random audience member" all you have to do is name your weapon of choice and tell me how immoral you want to be. Time for proppies! Big thank yous go to… ((Drum roll))
WeaselChick
The Skeet
BBfan4evah
Wave Maker
chitoryu12 - wowI didn't know that was possible… change the democrat and republican thing to when… Ann Coulter and Michael Moore agree with each other… muhahahaha! Hell will freeze over first!
KGdiva
worthlessdeath
sillymail
Phoenix Skyborne
WelcOmE2pArAdIsE
NightRobin
Basketcase101
Jejuneepitaph
RavenKicksAss
StickLad
Aznka
Saint H
Blue Wallpaper
ArcherofDarkness and Callie