A/N: Umm, guys I said immoral, not immortal… double props to worthless death for being the only one who got it! I will be taking no more random audience member applications; I still have no idea where all the reviews you keep giving me come from. One more thing, I didn't read the comics, I just read one or two bios on Jericho (who's gonna be in the next season! WOOT! That means lotsa shocked faces!)… so please don't kill me if his character is completely screwed.
"Hello and welcome back to," Slade said with Starfire next to him, only this time she's bound and gagged.
"The Slade Show!" the audience said and cheered.
"Thanks to a little help from some high quality ropes my life has become so much easier. Doesn't Starfire look so much prettier now?" the audience cheered.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" Robin screamed from the back of the audience.
"MMMMMMMMM!" Starfire attempted to speak.
"Today I'm going to pick up on where I left before my arrest, finding a new apprentice. My first victim is," he looked at his card, "Gizmo," two security guards brought Gizmo onto the stage, he took his seat. "Why do you want to be my apprentice?"
"Cuz the Teen Titans are a bunch of worthless whimps!"
"I like your attitude. What's your favorite color?"
"Black, sleaze bag."
"Have you committed murder?"
"No," he said sarcastically, "I graduated the HIVE Academy at the top of my class and I've built over fifty kinds of guns and twenty kinds of bombs. I've really never killed a person."
"I don't appreciate your sarcasm." He pushed a button then Gizmo's chair fell back, the trap door opened and Gizmo fell into it. "Next victim," two security guards brought Jericho on stage, Jericho glared at him, "What are you doing here? I thought we stopped speaking to each other after you decided to have an affair with Raven, then that Kole girl and join the teen titans!"
Jericho got up and walked over Starfire, untied her and possessed her, however the heck he does that, then he said to Slade in Starfire's body (voice included), "No we stopped speaking to each other because you risked my life on a bet that you couldn't save me, by the time you got to me they cut my throat just enough to make me mute."
"I saved you, didn't I?"
"You risked my life! What kind of a father are you?"
"No more possessing people without my permission! Let me bound and gag the girl then get back into your body and stay there."
"Why would I want to stay there? I can't talk and it has your evil DNA in it."
"The minute your back in your own body I'm grounding you for life, young man!" he stopped Jericho/Starfire using the dark side, some security guards tied him or her up, and then Jericho became himself again. "No more possessing people other than Robin, no more girlfriends who aren't evil, and most importantly no more joining the teen titans, you rotten little ingrate!" Jericho possessed Slade.
"Hello I'm Slade. You know why I'm always so mean and horrible to everyone? My father never hugged me when I was a child. He never loved me and now I'm a horrible father too, I never pay child support and only love my first born! My wife shot me in the face before she took the kids, both cars, all of my money and left me! Honestly I have no idea why any woman would want to go out with me. I also ditched all of my Vietnam medals-" at that Slade was able to push his son out of him.
"Don't you DARE say I ditched my war metals! I may be evil but I am not one of those bastard pinko commies! America kicks arse!" Slade stopped Jericho with the dark side, then some security guards bound and gagged him.
"Jericho is your son?" Robin asked.
"Yes you ignorant bird-brained incompetent-"
"If his hair is naturally blond, I bet yours is too! YOU'RE WHITE, YOU'RE BLOND AND YOUR SHOE SIZE IS A MENS 11! I'm gonna catch-" Robin realized that the audience member who was chasing after him with a spit and screaming "I want your liver damn it!" during his incident with the angry mob, whom I have decided to name Fay, had been sitting next to him the whole time. She was salting his arm and had her mouth open ready to eat it, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" he pulled his arm away from her.
"Willy Wonka said every thing was eatable."
"That man is on drugs!" he slowly began to move away from the girl, "SLADE! YOU HAVE A CANNIBAL IN THE AUDIENCE!"
"Cannibalism is immoral, wrong and very sick." Slade said, "Of course I'm going to allow it on my show! But darling," he said to Fay, "you don't know where he's been make sure to wash him first." Fay nodded in a way mini-me would, then pulled out a fork and tried to get Robin with it, "We wouldn't want you to get sick, make sure he's clean first." She glared at Slade and then went back to trying to get Robin with the fork.
"I think some crazed audience member is trying to eat Robin" Beast Boy said, "think we should do something about it?"
"And miss the show?" Cyborg said, "no way! Star and Raven can handle it."
"Star is bound and gagged and Raven isn't here, said she had to destroy an evil McDonald's." pause, "Oh well." Robin's mouth dropped in the realization that both Beast Boy and Cyborg would rather watch the show than help him.
"Anyway," Slade said, "my next victim is-" Raven walked onto the set, covered bits of destroyed building and some french fries and took a seat next to Cyborg. (A/N: Just so ya know, the teen titans usually get front or second row seats for some reason; Robin however has to sit in the back of the back row due to his restraining order.)
"That's what they get for not giving me that little mermaid toy I wanted when I was four… muhaha"
"We can hook you up with a psychiatrist after the show-" Slade looked at Jericho and saw that he was blushing, then he looked at Raven, then back at Jericho, "Her IQ may be over that of a carrot, but she's still NOT EVIL! How many times do I have to tell you to no going after the enemy!" Jericho glared at him, "Second ROMANCE ISN'T ALLOWED ON MY SHOW! Pre-mating rituals are for the soap opera channel."
"Haha!" Beast Boy said, "Raven has a boyfriend!"
"I don't have a boyfriend," she said, sane again, "and if I did he wouldn't be a backstabbing rock."
"He'd be a backstabbing book."
"At least I was able to kick his arse, and the one of that rock covered in bird crap too."
"Or he'd be Kid Flash, or SLADE'S SON who's sitting on the stage right now!" Raven got a little nervous and B.B held up some comicbooks, "I have proof! See!" Raven used her powers to throw the comics in a pit of fire under one of the torture devices on the set.
"Not anymore."
"Dude! Those were rated NEAR MINT!"
"Do you really want people seeing you with your bad 70's haircut, need I remind you Terra actually dies." Beast Boy did not respond, "Didn't think so." The argument ended here.
"Nobody cares!" Slade said, "As I was saying, my son keeps going after the good girls and I, being a villain do not like this." Jericho glared at him; Slade pressed the button, causing Jericho to fall down the trap door, "If only he was more like his brother… go to commercials."
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
Beast Boy: "This is awesome! They came out with teen titan ice-pops! Who wants one?"
Everyone: "Me!"
Beast Boy: "Cool! They gave us each our own flavor, pink for Starfire," gives her a pink one, "red for Robin," gives him one, "purple for Raven," gives her one, "green for me," takes one for himself, "and blue for… hey! Where's the blue one for Cyborg?" starts searching for a blue pop, "DUDE! THEY DIDN'T GIVE CYBORG A FLAVOR! THOSE RACIEST JERKS!"
Cyborg: "What! JUST CUZ I'M BLACK! Blue is everyone's favorite flavor! Who doesn't like blue? Racism is the only explanation!"
Starfire: "Please what is racism?"
Raven: "Remember when that dirt bag was calling you that alien word for nothing?"
Starfire: "Yes."
Raven: "It's just like that."
Beast Boy: "I just thought of something," everyone gasped, "Robin is the only white guy and he's our leader!"
Cyborg: "Yeah! I could be the leader, Raven could do a decent job to, but they picked you over us cuz you're white and a guy!"
Robin: "I'm not a raciest! Are you accusing me of something?"
To Be Continued… next chapter
(A/N: I've seen the real commercial! They really are missing blue!)
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
"That's all for this week's-" Slade was cut off by Robin.
"SHE BIT ME!" he screamed, "That freak! She bit me! Do not make me hurt you," he took out one of his exploding disks and was about to throw it. Just then Wave Maker and Flames of the Sun pulled out chainsaws, WeaselChick whipped out her sword, and PhantomWriter aimed a bow at him, (If I didn't make you a random audience member in this chapter, I'll use you in the next chappie… Muhahaha)
"We have weapons to hurt you." Wave Maker said.
"Not so you can hurt us." Flames of the Sun said.
"Coward," WeaselChick said, "attacking a weaponless audience member."
"She's just an innocent little girl!" PhantomWriter said.
"SHE'S TRYING TO EAT ME!" Robin yelled at all of them, "SLADE! DO SOMETHING SHE IS TRYING TO EAT ME!"
"She's trying to eat you and for some strange reason you seem to think I give a damn, priceless really." Robin dropped the disk and jumped out of a back window and ran away. Fay looked down in sorrow, "Don't worry you'll get him next time," she looked up and smiled, "that's all for this week's episode of the Slade Show."
A/N: If I didn't make you a random audience member in this chapter, you will be one eventually… no more applying and now time for kick arse people who reviewed!
chitoryu12
ivorypanther
Wave Maker
The Skeet
KGdiva
worthlessdeath
disappearer/Syani
WeaselChick
BBfan4evah
kkori
nv
Blue Wallpaper
jejuneepitaph
TK FoX
PhantomWriter92
OveractiveMind
Kikyz
ArcherofDarkness and Callie
me
Phantom Moon
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moo
XxTTfanxX
A Vegan in a Trench Coat
Flames of the Sun